Jennie
Jessica stops dead in my bedroom doorway. "Wow, you're glowing."
"I know," I mutter in annoyance, slapping my cheeks and scowling at my reflection in the dresser mirror. "This is terrible."
It's the afternoon of Mom's stupid party, and I'm wearing the oyster chiffon dress Mom picked out for me. I styled my hair plainly and barely applied any makeup. I thought I'd look like shit, considering how badly I've been sleeping, but my complexion seems lit from within.
I swish my hair around my face in an unflattering way, but it's no use. I'm radiant.
Jessica's mouth twitches. "Been, uh, well satisfied lately?"
I shoot her an annoyed look. "Jessica, please."
"That's a yes."
It sure is a yes. Lisa has been finding creative ways and places to get me off. If the man Chanyeol brings as my suitor falls to his knees and begs for my hand in marriage at first sight, it will be all my lover's fault.
Lisa herself appears behind Jessica in a black shirt and black pants. she absolutely refused to wear a suit, but Mom pestered her into a button-down. she looks absolutely delicious.
My sister gives her a knowing smile and says, "I'll wait downstairs."
She's driving us to the venue as she's decided she's not drinking anymore while she's trying for a baby. Mom's already there, so there's just me and Lisa upstairs.
Lisa gives a low whistle as she walks slowly toward me. "Mandu, you look drop-dead gorgeous."
"It's ridiculous. I should look how I feel, which is like crap."
Her brows draw together in concern. "You feel sick?"
I rub the heel of my hand across my belly and grimace. "Yeah. This party is stressing me out. I haven't been able to eat much all week because I'm nervous."
"You've got nothing to worry about. Just be your beautiful self and I'll handle everything."
"You can't stop Mom from pushing some man at me."
"Oh, yes, I can." Her hand drifts up my ribs and she squeezes my breast. I gasp in pain and pull away.
"Shit, sorry. Mandu. Are you sore? Are you getting your period?"
Short of punching my suitor in the face and marching him out of the party, I don't know what Lisa can do about him. "I guess. I think I'm late, actually."
"You are? How late?"
I grab a lipstick and shove it in my clutch. Why does my head feel so cloudy? I wish I could crawl back in bed for a nap. "A few days, I guess. I didn't even get my period last month. I heard that you can miss your period if you're stressed and I've not been sleeping well lately. Even when I do sleep, I'm so tired the next day."
I should go to the doctor in case my prescription is messing with me and I need a different one. I expect Lisa to berate me for not taking care of myself, but for some reason she cups my face with both hands and kisses me with passion.
A craving for this person sweeps over me. I didn't realize how badly I needed a kiss like this. When she pulls away, I ask, "What was that for?"
Lisa smooths my hair back, panting slightly as she gazes down at me. "Because you're beautiful. Now, come on. Let's get this stupid party over with."
We arrive at the venue twenty minutes later and park. Mom's rented a room with an enormous terrace, and a long table is set for fifty people. Everyone important in the Kim and Manoban families is here.
I glance at the trays of champagne, wondering if I can get away with swiping one. I probably could, but my stomach threatens to rebel, so I ask at the bar for a sparkling water and lemon instead.
One of my uncle's wives corners me and begins aggressively singing the praises of the man I'm going to meet today. Meanwhile, across the room, Lisa appears relaxed as she lounges against a pillar chatting with Mom's eldest nephew.
Mom appears at her side and takes her hand, and calls to the guests that it's time to eat.
Lisa stares at mom's hand holding her. Suddenly, she lifts her head and raises her voice. "Actually, I have an announcement to make before we eat."
Mom looks at her in surprise.
My guts suddenly knot.
Everyone in the room turns their attention to Lisa and the room falls silent.
My lover gazes slowly around at the crowd. "When I married Giulia, my brothers hoped it would mean their wild baby sister would finally settle down."
There's a smattering of polite laughter, but none of it's from Lisa's brothers. Chanyeol narrows his eyes. He clearly wasn't expecting or desiring Lisa to make a speech.
"All my brothers, especially Chan, have been hoping that I'll become a parenr. Okay, I'll admit it didn't appeal to me at first." Lisa smiles disarmingly at the crowd, and there's more polite laughter. "But I've come around to the idea, thanks to one special woman, and I want everyone to know that I'm ready. I want a family of my own."
Jessica shoots me a confused look and edges closer to whisper, "She's planning on staying with Mom? Mom's having her baby?"
The sick feeling in my stomach quadruples and my hands start to sweat. My soul feels like it's being crushed beneath an unrelenting weight. Lisa swore all this time that they weren't having sex. She promised.
Mom smiles up at her, confused but pleased. She's seeing her wife in a whole new light. Lisa's attentive. Lisa's taking charge. She practically purrs, "Darling, I'm so pleased to hear you talking this way."
Heartbroken tears sting my eyes.
A handful of people step forward and start congratulating the happy couple.
Mom laughs and waves them off. "Don't congratulate us. There's no baby on the way just yet."
Lisa's eyebrows lift in surprise. "What are you talking about, Giulia? The baby will be here soon. In about eight months, in fact."
The smile drops from Mom's face. "But I'm not pregnant yet."
"No, you're not." Lisa's gaze swings to me, trying to disappear on the other side of the room. "But Jennie is. Jennie's having my baby."
My world contracts to a shocking pinpoint.
Confused heads turn to stare at me.
I'm what?
I stare at Lisa across a sea of people. Her beautiful face is calm and her expression steady. My stomach is pitching back and forth like a ship on high seas, and the sparkling water and lemon has turned sour in my mouth.
Come to think of it, everything's tasted weird lately, and my stomach has been so upset, but that's because of nerves. It couldn't possibly be because I'm . . .
Sore breasts.
Missed periods.
Tired.
Nauseated.
And yet I'm glowing.
I start shaking my head and backing away, but I run into a pillar.
It's not true.
It can't be true.
The silence is broken when Mom rips her hand from Lisa's and screams. No words, just a long, angry shriek.
Uncle Tomaso appears at my side and grabs my wrist, squeezing painfully. "Is this true? What have you got to say for yourself, you shameful whore?"
"Don't you dare talk to the mother of my child that way," Lisa growls, pushing through the crowd toward us. "You have anything to say, you say it to me."
Suddenly everyone is talking. Exclaiming. Gesticulating.
I'm trapped in a nightmare.
"I have a question," Lisa shouts over the din, and everyone slowly falls silent. "My brothers were so desperate for me to marry into the Kim family. What I want to know is, why I wasn't offered Jennie in the first place."
Uncle Marzio and Uncle Roberto exchange glances. Marzio frowns and replies, "We didn't think of Jennie."
Lisa stares around at everyone, her eyes glittering. "That's the problem with this family. No one ever thinks of Jennie. I don't understand why none of you even considered her when she's closer to my age. Did you know she's funny as well? That she's clever? She's got a witty comeback for everything. She drives like a goddamn demon, and you know what else? She's beautiful, and I'm in love with her."
Lisa turns slowly on the spot, gazing into the astonished faces of her family and mine.
"Is it such a shock that anyone could love Jennie?"
No one replies.
"You can all tell yourselves that this is some scandal or mistake, but it's not going to change anything. Jennie's mine, and she's having my baby. You can all drink your wine, eat your canapés, and go to hell."
She stalks over to me and takes my hand, and the anger melts from her face. With a tender expression in her eyes, she murmurs softly, "You okay, Mandu?"
I stare at my hand in her, hyperaware that everyone's watching us. "I'm not pregnant."
"I'm pretty sure you are," she replies.
"I can't be. I'm on birth control."
"Yeah, about that." Lisa pushes her tongue into her cheek like she's ashamed about something, but she ruins it by smiling. There's not a trace of honest regret in her beautiful face. Actually, she seems pretty damn pleased with herself.
"I may have messed with your birth control."
I remember how Lisa reacted when she found out I was on the pill. She immediately started hunting through my things in search of the prescription, and she wanted me to give it up right there and then. Ever since, she's been obsessed with coming inside me every time we have sex. She actually stops blow jobs so she can finish in my pussy, and then she stays there. Keeping her cum inside me. It's not a fetish.
It's a goddamn tactic.
"You did what?" I say in a low and deadly voice.
Lisa has been watching me like a hawk for weeks and repeatedly asking how I'm feeling. It didn't strike me as odd at the time.
"The packets are fake. All sugar pills."
"You sabotaged my birth control and didn't tell me? I'm pregnant, and I didn't even know it?" I shove her chest with both hands. "I might have gotten drunk. I could have done cocaine."
Lisa reaches for me, but I shrug out of her grip. "Mandu, you don't do coke—"
I clench both my hands into fists and scream at the top of my lungs, "That's not the point. The point is you did this behind my back. You are unbelievable, Lalisa Manoban!"
"Take it easy, Mandu. It's not good for the baby."
I scream again.
Her baby.
I'm carrying her goddamn baby.
This was the plan she was hinting about these past few months. I cover my face with my hands, wishing I could disappear. Lisa reaches for me once more, but I pull myself out of her grip.
"We are not okay, asshole. Don't follow me."
"Mandu, please—"
She tries to take my hand again, but Jessica steps in front of her, an angry lioness staring her down. "She said don't follow her."
Over her shoulder, Mom is staring at me, white-faced and her hands clenched. Actually, everyone is staring at me, and I want to shrivel up and die.
Jessica grabs my hand. "Come on, let's get out of here."
I keep my head down and let her lead the way. As soon as we burst out into fresh air, I gasp, "I need a pregnancy test."
"I've got plenty. I'll take us to my place."
On the drive there, I keep picturing the way Mom looked just now. "Did you see Mom's expression? She looked like she wanted to kill me."
Jessica shakes her head. "That's not fair. You obviously didn't know Lisa was going to announce it like that."
"I didn't even know there was a possibility I could be pregnant. I'm on birth control! Or I thought I was. Lisa messed with my pills."
"She did what?" Jessica looks as outraged as I feel. "You're eighteen years old. You're still her stepdaughter. What was she thinking?"
"What was she thinking? What was I thinking? I was screwing mom's wife."
Jessica is silent a moment while she drives. "I thought the two of you were kind of romantic, like Romeo and Juliet. I knew it would be a load of drama when the time came for everyone to find out about the two of you, but I didn't think Lisa would go out of her way to make it as hurtful and dramatic as possible. Why did she do it that way?"
I scrub both my hands over my face. "I can guess. If I'm pregnant, Mom can't drive a wedge between the two of us. She's fulfilling her promise to her brothers to settle down and have a family. They'll put pressure on Mom to divorce Lisa so we can make this Manoban baby legitimate and then they'll finally hand over her inheritance."
It's a good plan.
The only problem is that I hate it.
At Jessica's house, she leads me upstairs to the bathroom and hands me a pregnancy test and explains how to use it.
I close the door behind me and take the test, and then leave it on the vanity, face down, to develop. "You can come back in."
Jessica opens the door, and we stand side by side waiting for the results.
"If you are pregnant . . ." she begins.
I tip my head back and moan. "I'll kill her."
"I know you're angry, but if you think about it, this could actually be wonderful. You love her. She loves you."
There's so much hope in my sister's face. I can tell she's already half in love with the idea of me having Lisa's baby. "But she tricked me. This isn't how it was meant to be."
Her face falls, and she nods. "I understand. Sorry, I'm baby crazy right now. I'm not thinking straight."
I reach out and take her hand. I wish with all my heart it was her test we were waiting on. That these were her pregnancy symptoms and her loving husband who was possibly going to be a father.
"Shall we look?" Jessica asks, and even though she's trying not to hope, she's practically crossing her fingers and bouncing on her toes.
I take a deep breath.
And flip over the test.
