A/N: Hello, my beautiful ducks.


"All you ever had to do was not ask questions. Repugnant, demonic filth," Gabriel snarled at the demon sprawled at his feet, unconscious. The way his vibrant red hair fanned out around his head almost looked like blood. The mental image gave Gabriel some measure of satisfaction.

He wanted to hurt the demon.

There was an order to be maintained. There was a certainty. Heaven was Heaven. Hell was Hell. Angels were good, demons bad. He was the one imbued with all the righteousness of their creator. He was right and mighty.

Even demons should respect him out of fear if nothing else.

"What did you do to him, Gabriel?" Aziraphale asked, a tremor in his voice.

And that refocused his anger on the angel he'd come close enough to smiting. He could have gone against God's design, and for what? Because this damned angel couldn't keep his hands off a filthy demon.

He plastered a grin on his face, clasping his hands behind his back and giving the demon a sharp kick as he passed by. He walked to where Beelzebub had a tight hold on Aziraphale's arm and got right up in the angel's face. "You know, Aziraphale, there are angels stationed all over the Earth. And when they run into demons doing evil, because demons are evil, Aziraphale, they don't kiss them." He said the word like it was filth in his mouth, and that was exactly how it tasted.

Aziraphale swallowed hard, but he didn't avert his gaze. "I believe my work speaks for itself. However it was accomplished, Heaven's bidding was done. Whether or not you agree with it, Crowley and I … respect each other; we can appreciate a cunning adversary. It doesn't mean we work together. We know our places."

"Do you?" Gabriel said with a scoff. "You appreciate his work? Get a little thrill when demons get away with evil deeds, do you?"

"No." Aziraphale's steady expression faced into a frown. "That's not what I meant."

"You sound like a demon yourself, angel," Beelzebub said with a wicked grin. They let go of Aziraphale's arm, ducking their head close to leer at him. "Letting a little ill intent slip by?"

"Is that what you want, Aziraphale?" Gabriel asked, circling him on one side while Beelzebub took the other. "You want to be a demon?"

Aziraphale's head whipped back and forth between them. "No. No, I don't want that."

"Should have thought of that," Beelzebub said. "We're enemies."

"Enemies don't fraternize with the other side," Gabriel said. "That's called deserting. And you know what happens to deserters."

"Deflecting," Aziraphale said, his eyes following Beelzebub a moment before returning to Gabriel's face.

"What was that?" Gabriel demanded.

"Deflecting," Aziraphale said, his voice a little stronger. "Joining the enemy is deflecting. I did no such thing. Neither did Crowely. Deserting is abandoning my post, and I didn't do that either. And, again, neither did Crowley."

"And what is it called when you go out of your way to protect your enemy?" Beelzebub asked.

Aziraphale didn't have an answer for that.

"I should cast you down, Aziraphale." Gabriel came to a stop right in front of him again. "Or better yet, I should let Lord Beelzebub here drag you down as you are. Would you like that? Hmm? How do you think the demons down below would feel getting their hands on an angel? What do you say?

Aziraphale looked down. His body vibrated in a slight tremor. "I could hardly stop you," he said, the words timid. Then, his chin tilted up an iota. "If you believe it's God's will."

Gabriel narrowed his eyes.

He never would have admitted it, but he'd often wondered, in all the centuries God had been missing, what She would have wanted. She left so few real instructions.

And how dare this sullied angel question that he acted in God's interest? It was his interpretation that was keeping Aziraphale alive and preventing Gabriel from casting him out. God had written Aziraphale and Crowley into the beginning and the end. Their names were there. He could just as easily decide Aziraphale could be a part of the end times as a demon.

And Aziraphale questioned Gabriel's mercy?

"It was God's will that cast the demons into Hell. She could have destroyed them all, but she sentenced them to a life without the touch of divinity. Not even your divinity. So tell me which one of us is doing God's work. As we were meant to. As we were built for."

Gabriel straightened up to his full height, tugging on his lapels to straighten his clothes. "So be a dear and cooperate. You know, as a servant of Heaven."

"Certainly. Of course."

Gabriel grinned at him. "I need to know exactly when this started." He pointed at the demon.

"Why?" Aziraphale said, his voice thin. "And what did Crowley mean that you can't kill us?"

"Are you questioning me?" Gabriel demanded.

Aziraphale shrank back a fraction.

"Are you disobeying an order?" Gabriel said.

Aziraphale actually hesitated a beat. Gabriel clenched his hands into fists, barely holding himself back from physical violence. It wasn't a thing angels were supposed to think about, and why would they? It was wholly unnecessary.

Lord, why did you protect them? They are unworthy.

But Aziraphale must have seen the fury in him because he answered. "It was the day of the ball. Six nights ago."

"You were tasked with finding out what the demon was up to, and you ended up like this instead." Gabriel shook his head slowly.

"I did what was bidden of me. He … caught me afterward."

"So it seems," said Beelzebub, behind him.

"Six nights. You're saying it was only six nights ago you let the demon touch you?" Gabriel demanded. "Before you were so familiar with him?"

Aziraphale took a shaky breath. "We've known each other—spoken—for millennia now. I knew him when he was an angel, but I've known him in this form since Eden. You knew that. You used that. My familiarity with him has been very effective for the purposes of Heaven."

"And when were you more than opponents?" Beelzebub hissed in his ear.

Aziraphale directed this answer somewhere over Gabriel's shoulder. "Never. It was just …" He huffed. "We've been stationed in the same area since Earth began. Did you expect us never to have a conversation?"

"And it was never more than a conversation until six nights ago?" Gabriel said. "That's what you'll have us believe?"

"You'll believe as you will. I'm telling you the truth."

Gabriel hummed, studying the angel with intent. "Drinking buddies since Rome, at least," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

Aziraphale finally looked at him. "What?"

Gabriel just smiled. "I'm going to do you a favor, Aziraphale. I'm going to take those memories, the last six nights and days, from you."

He watched with some satisfaction as Aziraphale's eyes widened. His features seemed to wilt. "You wouldn't," he whispered. "You mustn't."

"Why not? You said it was distasteful—something you did for the entertainment of watching a demon make a fool of himself. It shouldn't be anything you'll miss."

Aziraphale swallowed audibly. His eyes darted quickly to where the demon lay, still unconscious, and lingered. "They're my memories. Good or bad, they're mine."

Gabriel caught his head between his hands. Aziraphale started, looking back with gasp. "Not anymore."

When it was done, Gabriel studied the limp form of these two thorns in his side for long moments. "What now?" He wondered out loud to the demon lord across from him. "Clearly, the threats we buried in their heads aren't working."

"Might be working well enough for our purposes. It's been a millennium since the last time. Another millennium from now, none of this will matter."

"That's a fair point." Gabriel rubbed the back of his head.

"But if it's an added bit of security you're after …"

Gabriel looked up. "Yes?"

"I am a filthy demon, after all." They flashed him a grin, and Gabriel had to smirk. "Planting seeds of doubt is part of the territory."

"Doubt. In each other, you mean?"

"You heard your whiney little angel. They have a certain amount of respect for each other." Their lip curled. "Demons do it all the time—break up teams. One of the better ways to sow discord."

Gabriel considered and nodded. "You're clever. For a demon."

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. "For a demon."