Greed. By the very nature of human life, we are greedy. We take from everywhere and give nothing back. It's a harsh truth that I've come to understand all too well. I have spent a significant portion of my life observing this inherent greed in people, and it has shaped my perspective in more ways than I can count.
You see, I've always been the kind of person who prefers to observe from the sidelines, to watch the world go by without getting too involved. It's not that I'm indifferent or apathetic, but rather that I've developed a keen sense of self-preservation. I've learned that getting too close to people often leads to disappointment, betrayal, and heartbreak.
And in some cases, death.
We humans, and any intelligent life really, are alive because we're greedy. To go against it would be to risk your own life for the life of someone else. You could help your fellow man as he's gripping onto a cliff for dear life, but what if he pulls you down instead?
Would you take the risk? The risk of sacrificing yourself for nothing?
Some would say yes. That saving someone like that was the height of humanity. But for me, I've always seen it differently. I've seen the consequences of such sacrifices, the aftermath of well-intentioned acts gone awry. It's not that I don't understand the sentiment behind it; it's just that I've grown skeptical of the idealistic notions of heroism and selflessness.
It's why I had to question myself, time and time again: why was I doing this? I am greedy, I am selfish. I am the human that survives by throwing the others into the deep end. Why would I help anyone? Why help Totsuka? Kawasaki? Ebina? None of what I did would ever benefit me, so why did I keep on helping them, over and over?
It was when I confessed my ideal of genuinity to the Service Club that I started to realize what I was. And it was only when I came to this world that I truly understood.
I was greedy. All of my actions were in line with my own self-preservation. It's just that, I wasn't doing it to preserve what I had. I was working to keep what I had made.
As much as I would have denied it, as much as Yukinoshita denied it, the relationship between us was more than simple club members. It was a relationship marred by trial after trial, with me being blind to what it really was until I lost it all.
We really were friends there.
Not only that, but my sibling relationship with my sister, my mentor-student relationship with Hiratsuka-sensei. I had lost it all when I was dragged into this world. And, like any greedy man, I raged at the unfairness of it.
It's why, when I saw Rem walk into the hallway Natsuki was staying in, I knew I had to act. I couldn't let her make a mistake that could lead to me losing access to this library.
After all, I am likely the greediest man alive here. Why the hell wouldn't I want to protect my path towards the thing that was torn away from me?
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
My voice drowned out the silence as I stepped through the portal. I kept my eyes fixated on the maid in front of me. While she was still dressed in her regular uniform, walking around with a massive spiked ball was not an indication of good intent.
She stopped her almost leisurely stroll in front of me, "Hikigaya-san." She tilted her head towards me in a slight bow, "I apologize if I awoke you. I assure you, this will be the last time that happens."
"Answer the question." I wasn't in the mood for this bullshit. It was bad enough that Natsuki was right. That I suspected that she was off to not just 'try' something, but to either grievously maim or kill the kid was even worse.
"Subaru Natsuki is a threat. He must be eliminated." Chock one up to kill then.
"Fuck's sake, do you still believe that the kid is a damn cultist?" I couldn't help but let my exasperation leak into my voice, "You've worked with him for well over a week now, can you tell me exactly when he did anything suspicious in that time?"
He hadn't. I know for a fact that he didn't, due to the fact that it would've been painfully obvious had he did. Aside from Rem, both Mathers and Ram were likely watching Natsuki like hawks. As innocent as he may be, they had to take the possible threat seriously, since they couldn't risk harm coming to Emilia. Nothing would've gone unnoticed by either of them, had Natsuki really been a cultist.
That hadn't stopped Rem from thinking that she was the only one that was waiting for Natsuki to slip up.
I watched as she shook her head, "You wouldn't understand, Hikigaya-san. Please, for your own safety, I would recommend retiring for the night."
"No." I subtly pumped my legs with yang mana, empowering them, "You have no proof, nothing but your own suspicions, none of which you can justify. Meanwhile, Natsuki has had the approval of Astrea himself. Unless you tell me that you're better than the damn Sword Saint, I'll have to say you're being delusional."
Rem's grip on her chained ball tightened, her stance growing more defensive. "You're taking this too lightly, Hikigaya-san. I can't afford to make a mistake here. The safety of everyone here is at stake."
I scoffed, "And you think killing Natsuki is the solution? What if you're wrong? You'll be making an even bigger mistake than what you're trying to accomplish."
For a moment, it seemed like she might yield, like she might reconsider her course of action. But then, a shadow of determination settled over her features once more.
"I will ask you one more time, Hikigaya-san, as a guest of Roswaal-sama, to step away for your own good."
"You just admitted that you're going to murder the kid." I glared at her in annoyance, "Have you even tried talking to him?"
"I can't take that risk," she said, her voice resolute. Before I could even question what risk she was even talking about, she spoke once more, "I apologize in advance. I assure you, I shall get you the best healing possible."
And with that, she swung the spiked ball towards me, the deadly spikes glinting in the dim light of the hallway. There was no room for negotiation, no room for compromise.
I threw myself to the side, the wooden floor beneath me erupting in splinters from the impact of the metal. I didn't waste time. I opened a portal from my front to behind her and punched. It felt like hitting a stone wall with my bare fist. She barely moved.
Rem spun around, the metal chain whipping itself and almost clipping my head. I pulled back from the portal, and made another one above her. I dropped from above, infusing as much yin mana as I could into my leg and hitting her directly on the head.
She was unfazed.
Despite knowing that I had weakened her, I didn't see any noticeable difference in how she moved. This wasn't like fighting Granhiert. With her, she either avoided my attacks, or took them head on. She would survive the hits, regenerating through the injuries, but I could still feel myself deal damage.
Rem didn't show any of that.
I know I was holding back somewhat, but the blunt force that I had applied to her, coupled by the yin mana's weakening properties, should have left her staggering back. Even if the people of this world were naturally more resilient than my own, the combination of hits I made should've been enough to crush a rock into powder.
Either she was somehow nullifying the effects, or that her own constitution was high enough to veritably tank anything that wasn't strong enough with no issues. Both options were bad. That being said, I found the first option to be unlikely. She hadn't displayed any magic other than the occasional fire spell, so I would assume that she's just tanking the hits.
At this rate, I wouldn't be able to do anything without risking harm to the both of us.
She herself was holding back quite a bit. Even now, as I'm thinking of how to proceed, she's just waiting for me. She's likely tempering her hits as she doesn't see me as an actual enemy. She still sees me as nothing more than misguided in my actions to protect Natsuki. Either that, or I was manipulated into doing it.
Which, to be fair, is a bit out of character for me, to anyone that knows me. They'll only think so before I explain why - if Natsuki, a guest of the house, dies, then the resulting scandal would be too much, and Emilia will likely be forced out of the candidacy. Mathers would likely wash his hands of her, and the deal I had with him would be for a person that didn't even matter to him anymore.
Sure, I could leverage my 'research', but as it stands, it was too risky. All of what I did could reasonably be knowledge that he himself could figure out, given Mathers' intelligence. It's more of that what I provide is a convenience, one that he could just as easily discard without another thought.
"Hikigaya-san, have you reconsidered?"
Rem's voice was echoing in the hallway. We had stopped fighting and were just staring at each other. For her part, I suppose she was worried to cause more collateral damage than she already has. For my part, I knew that I didn't actually need to fight her.
I just needed to buy time.
Her attacking me was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, the noise it generated would have alerted the rest of the mansion that something was going on. On the other hand, the maid was willing to cripple me in order to kill Natsuki.
Just how much did this girl hate the Witch Cultists that she was ready to throw away the idea of guest rights?
"Far from it."
I reached into my pocket, the one in which I kept a handful of sand. I threw it in front of me, and had that been it, I would've looked like a dumbass. Rem was well beyond where the sand would reach.
That's why I formed a portal right into her eyes.
The fascinating thing about mana enhancement in this world is that it doesn't do anything for minor irritants. Itchiness, shoes that were a bit too tight, a stuffed nose. None of those could be solved by empowering yourself.
I hate sand. It's rough, course, and gets everywhere. Right into the eyes? Against a person unprepared? Who was also used to having her endurance shrug off hits? Who was also too focused on watching in bewilderment as I seemingly threw sand at empty air?
Needless to say, I smirked to myself as Rem immediately reacted by trying to scratch out the sand. She had dropped the chain, and with another portal, the weapon was safely deposited behind me.
"Now I'm done." I leaned onto a wall, even as she tried to look in my direction, smirking all the way. I had to admit, winning like this was much more satisfying than beating the shit out of each other. And what's more, the other residents, who'd finally arrived, couldn't complain.
"What is going on here?" Ram stepped out from around the corner, took one look at the situation, and sighed in frustration, "Nevermind." Without another word, she dropped next to Rem and gently lifted her up. With teary, half-blinded eyes, she was guided by her sister into another room.
Ram didn't need an explanation. As her sister, she already had her own idea on what had happened, helped by the fact that Rem's weapon was behind me.
Still, I made eye contact with Ram. I stared at her, giving her a look that hopefully laid out that this was the last time this should ever happen. Infighting like this would only lead to Mathers losing face, and me possibly losing access to the treasure trove of knowledge that was his library.
She gave me a nod in return, one that I saw contained the slightest bit of thankfulness. Heh. I guess that was the best I could ever hope to get from her.
"Hikigaya-san? What happened?" Emilia, accompanied by Natsuki, were next. They strolled up, and took in the scene of destruction that populated the hallway. I saw Natsuki pale as he took a glance at the ruptured floor, and the ball-and-chain that did it.
"Nothing that should concern you, not anymore." I looked at Natsuki and gave a subtle nod. He caught it, and with a shuddering sigh, he nodded back. Slapping himself suddenly, he perked back up, gaining Emilia's attention.
"Welp! Since Hikigaya says it shouldn't concern us, then I say we go and turn in for the night!" The false cheer was evident to me, but not to the half-elf.
"A-Alright then." I took my leave then. I didn't need to listen to their conversation, not when my job was done.
Or perhaps not. Rem will likely not try anything, not now that Ram will be keeping a close eye on her. The older twin knew that I could've killed her, as much as she could've killed me. Hell, I didn't even need to confront her since I've got my portals.
The short battle that I had with her wasn't so much a battle as it was a statement.
Despite the disgust I would inevitably feel, had Rem truly tried to kill me, I would've likely done a lot worse. A long time ago, I would've blanched at the mere idea of killing someone. Nowadays, I realize that this world just isn't kind to that sort of mentality.
I crossed my fingers that I would never have to feel that self-loathing.
Thankfully, with Ram, she'll be doing everything to prevent harm from coming to her sister. She was a good sister, beneath all of the sarcastic, vitriolic facade she threw up.
Hopefully, that was the end of it, and I can finally get back to work.
I fucking jinxed it. I swear, to whatever god is hearing this, I will find you, and I will kill you. I will string you up by whatever metaphysical ankles you have and let the blood flow out from your wrists.
"The White Whale has been spotted moving across the countryside."
A/N: If you like what I do and want to support me, check out my P-atreon at P-atreon•com(slash)Almistyor.
And a special thanks to: Oliver vazquez, brutalcrab, Tassimo and Bradley Wynters.
