Third Person POV

Crow POV

I was never one to complain much, as I had a pretty high tolerance for bullshit, and I can let most things go pretty quickly.

However, it's also because I don't want to come off as a whiny little bitch as nobody likes those, so I mostly internally complain about whatever inconveniences me.

However, after my conversation with Kaido earlier, let's just say these upcoming months are going to be long and annoying as shit.

(Flashback)

"You wanted to see lord Kaido?" I asked, and he nodded with a ghost of a smile.

I mentally shuddered that. A smiling Kaido is just fucking creepy.

"I heard you're expecting to be a father of five in three months. That's going to be quite the handful," he chuckled.

I still can't get over how weird his laugh is. It sounded like a combination of starting up an engine and someone drowning.

I smiled proudly. "Yeah, but thankfully, I won't be alone to raise the kids."

Kaido nodded at that. "There's not many things that are more difficult than raising kids as a single parent," he said with barely noticeable sadness in his tone. "You're lucky you won't have to deal with that."

Of course, I already knew of his daughter, Yamato, and their relationship, if anyone could call it that. The hate for each other was pretty bad, and it wasn't hard to understand why.

If my daughter proclaimed herself the person that nearly killed me and was left with a big ass scar by that individual as a reminder of that near-death experience, I'd be pretty pissed, too.

However, in Kaido's case, his ass fucking deserves it, as he was a pretty shitty dad and an even worse person. It was no wonder why she'd prefer to be someone else than to be his kid.

"I know I am, sir...why am I here?" I asked bluntly, wanting to get this conversation over with so I could go home and be with my family.

Kaido chuckle. "Always straight to the point. You're here because we need to talk about your position in the Beast Pirates," I quirked an eyebrow at that.

"I thought I was just going to be a glorified man whore" I joked, earning a laugh from Kaido.

"Well, you still will be, but you'll have another role in the crew that'll be essential to our success."

"And that is?" I asked curiously.

"I initially thought of putting you in the Flying Six, but after some thinking, I came up with something else. You're going to be a representative of the Beast Pirates," he revealed, shocking me.

"You want me to be an envoy? Why the fuck would you want me to do that?" I asked incredulously. "Wouldn't I serve better as an officer or some shit?"

"Under normal circumstances, you would be yes. However, I already have plenty of fighters. No, what I need is someone with a leveled head and the ability to make difficult decisions and make allies without having to resort to threats, blackmail, or force. And you're that perfect fit."

I mean, he's not entirely wrong about that. Compared to everyone within the Beast Pirates, Uta, King, and Kaido are the only ones besides me who can be tactful when needed.

As for making allies, I guess he's not wrong about that, either. Unlike my fellow pirates, Uta and I are the only ones that the people of Wano like because whenever we have free time, we go around Wano giving out supplies like food, water, etc. We even helped some of them out with their daily duties whenever we could and protected them from the more hostile Beast Pirate members, so it was safe to say we had a lot of the natives wrapped around our fingers.

So it wasn't hard to understand why he'd want me as an emissary. Besides, it's not like I could even reject this position if I wanted to, so I might as well suck it up and do what I can to stay under this fuckers good graces.

"Hmmm, I still feel like there's more to this than you're letting on," I called out with narrow eyes. "Who are you trying to ally with? I know it's certainly not fucking Big Mom, thats for sure she'd stab us in the back, no doubt about it."

Kaido sneered at the name. "You're not wrong about that. No, the ones I want you to negotiate with are the Germa Kingdom and Seven Shield Alliance."

I rubbed my chin. "I understand Germa; with their military strength, technology, and scientific prowess, they would make quite the allies. As for the other group, I don't know much about them."

Kaido explained who the faction was and why he wanted an alliance with them.

The Seven Shield Alliance is a faction led by seven women, and their leader is the High Queen Celestine Lucross, who apparently is a reincarnated goddess. He wants them as an ally due to their island's natural resources, which were a hundred times greater than those of Wano, and he also wants me to find out if the rumor of there being magic over there is true. If it does exist, Kaido wants me to find a way to obtain it by any means necessary so long as it doesn't threaten their alliance with the SSA. He also informed me that they've been at war with a woman known as Olga Discordia for over a thousand years, and the best way to get them on our side is to take care of her, which I can agree with.

"As for how we'll get an alliance with Germa, you'll have to marry Judge's daughter...now that I think about it, you'll probably have to marry one of the Shield Princesses."

My eyebrow started twitching. "Are you fucking serious?" I asked heatedly.

Kaido quirked an eyebrow and smirked. "I don't see why you're complaining. Many men would kill to have multiple beautiful women at their beck and call."

I resisted the urge to scream and sighed. "That's not the point, and you know that, you overgrown lizard," I replied, causing a tick mark on his forehead. "I don't appreciate being forced into a marriage with people I barely know."

"We both know it's the only way. Any other option will be shaky at best, and we can't risk losing these alliances," he argued.

I let out a long sigh. "I know, and I already accepted the outcome. However, I'll marry Uta first if Judge, you, or the SSA has an issue with that; you three can go fuck yourselves."

Kaido narrowed his eyes. "Fine, but the next time you speak like that to me again...it won't be pretty," he warned.

"Noted. So when do I start?" I asked, unbothered by his threat.

"In a week, you best use this time wisely as you'll be busy for the next few months."

"So long as I don't miss the birth of my children, I couldn't care less," Kaido nodded and waved me off.

(End of Flashback)

I desperately wanted to scream at the bastard at the time, but I held my tongue as I knew as soon as I opened my mouth, I'd either get the ass beating of a lifetime or worse...I'd be doing all of King's paperwork...I shuddered at the thought.

I can handle getting my ass beaten to near death, being impaled multiple times, a woman's wrath, vicious scoldings, boring lectures, and boredom in general but paperwork...yeah fuck that.

Give me an angry Kaido any time of the week because at least that'll eventually end, but paperwork, on the other hand, never fucking ends! I don't know how Uta managed to stay sane doing it, but there's one thing I know: I don't envy her job.

But in all seriousness, I was fucking pissed after he told me I'd have to marry Judge's daughter and one of the Shield Princesses.

I also wasn't happy about being a diplomat because that involved doing paperwork! Sure, it won't be to the same extent King and Uta have to deal with daily, but doing paperwork is paperwork, nonetheless!

I shook my head and groaned.

I need a fucking drink...

"Hey, babe!" Uta hugged me from behind. "Did you just get home?"

"Oh...um, no, I've been in the office for quite a while," I replied sheepishly. "When you're deep in your thoughts, you tend to forget everything around you."

"True. So what's on your mind?" Uta got in front of me, sat on my lap, and wrapped herself around me.

"Kaido made me a representative of the Beast Pirates," I said, surprising her.

"Really?" I nodded. "Why?"

"I was the most suited for the role, apparently," I shrugged. "However, that's not all of it," I explained everything that Kaido and I discussed.

By the end of it, she was pissed.

She sighed and kissed me lovingly. "I'm sorry that you have to do this."

I hugged her. "Don't be sorry, my love. If it means keeping our family safe, I'll do anything."

She smiled and kissed me again. "I know, and that's one of the reasons why I love you so much...so when did you wanna get married?" she asked shyly with red cheeks.

I still don't get how she's blushing, considering all the freaky shit we do in bed. You'd think the topic of marriage would be pretty tame in comparison.

I hummed. "By the end of the year or after we gain the alliance of Germa and the SSA. What do you think?"

"I like it," Uta smiled. "I know Ulti will be happy about it, especially Page," we chuckled.

Ever since Ulti and I got together, she's been living with us, giving Page a lot more freedom. The guy practically worships the ground I walk after that and fully supports the relationship. To most, they'd think he's just being overdramatic, but most don't know how overbearing Ulti can be. I love the girl, I really do, but she's too much sometimes.

We literally have a schedule on who'll hang out with her and for how long, with me having the longest time and Mikasa having the shortest due to her short temper.

On the bright side, she'll soon be spending all that excessive energy taking care of and playing with our soon-to-be kids, so none of us can complain too much. Although, when the kids are older, we'll have to do the cooking because Ulti can't cook to save her life.

"Yeah, I know," I yawned. "Well, I'm going to bed. Wanna join me?"

"Sure," she got off me and dragged me to the bedroom, and we quickly fell asleep.

End.