Chapter 32: Perspective
For Hiei, getting matched against Mukuro in this tournament was just as good as getting matched against Yusuke. And in some ways, it might even have been better. At least Mukuro wasn't an idiot who often won her battles with exceptionally dumb luck that Hiei could never replicate. Even though he stayed at her fortress for a year, the first time he ever saw her in battle was when she fought some no-name demons in her bracket leading up to this fight, and she barely broke a sweat. Hiei refused to be taken down so easily, no matter how strong she may be.
Mukoro arrived at the starting ring, showing neither anticipation nor fear, and Koto officially started the long-awaited match. A former lord versus her right-hand man. Hiei drew his sword and tossed away the sheath. In his lifetime of fighting, he had a good sense of who would and wouldn't be a threat to him. Of course, he knew for a long time that Mukuro would be an opponent he should never take lightly, but something about this day was different. He expected to feel some kind of aversion by standing across from Mukuro in battle, to face the infamous, ruthless tyrant that ruled a third of the Demon World. But when they finally stood opposite each other, he felt nothing. No apprehension. No instincts warning him of danger. …Nothing.
Was she not taking this seriously, or was sensing nothing even more reason for him to feel uneasy?
"Before we have our battle," Mukuro said, not acknowledging his confusion, "I'm curious to know. Is your opinion about death the same as it was before?"
Hiei narrowed his eyes, and his grip tightened on his sword hilt. "Does it really matter if it's still the same? It doesn't to me."
"...You're lying." Mukuro took a couple steps to the side, preparing to fight. "You've been the only one to submit your consciousness to mine so fully, and it feels the most like home. That's how I know."
Even months later, Hiei vividly remembered the moment their minds were linked while he recovered in the healing chamber. Hiei himself had nearly died battling against Shigure for the first time in his training. But the tyrant stepped in and had his wounds healed, offering his once lost Hiruiseki Stone as a reward for his victory over the Demon Surgeon. That day, the one time he willingly allowed someone to traverse his own mind, their respective pasts were both laid bare. Hiei, born of fire in the land of ice, abandoned by any place he allowed himself to call home, never once experiencing "love" from them. Mukuro, who mutilated her own body and escaped from slavery, was unable to free herself from the shackles binding her wrists, tying her forever to the darkness of her own history. Consumed by hatred, they both grew more and more powerful as fighters, leading them to the point where they met one year ago. When Hiei fell after the battle with Shigure, he believed there was nothing worth living for anymore. All his goals in life had been accomplished, and he had expected to die while training in her fortress. Losing his life in battle against a worthy opponent wasn't a bad way for everything to end.
Hiei lowered his stance. "You think I'm lying because you want a different answer." He leaped forward, slashing his sword left and right, but Mukuro easily dodged each attack as if she were merely stepping out of someone's way on the street. "If you're so unhappy, why aren't you dead?" The intent of his question was extremely familiar, reminding him of a certain encounter with a snake in the Demon World forest. "Continuing to fight isn't going to change anything, so you might as well put yourself out of your misery once and for all."
He allowed their minds to link because he knew they both were the same. Spending their life purging hatred through battle and blood, expressing themselves through violence against their enemies. Someone like that would surely understand the feeling that haunted him as he trained in her fortress. No goals to strive for. No place to call your own. They could destroy countless enemies until they drew their last breath, and nothing would change. If there was no reason for them to live, nothing that could be changed by continuing to fight, then why should they keep on living?
Finally, Mukuro countered. Throwing out her fists, powerful bursts of red energy exploded at Hiei's feet. He tried to force his way through, using his sword to slice open a path, but her power was too strong, and the explosions pushed him back. Then, Mukuro found an opening and appeared behind him, and she pulled back her arm for an attack. But before she could punch anything, Mukuro withdrew her hand and retreated.
"You coward," Hiei spat, "What's with all these half-assed attempts at attacking me?" Mukuro only gave him silence. "You earned your freedom and status through fighting, so there's no reason for you to hide your full power against me. I was under the impression that you were a ruthless killer. Or is something holding you back from using that strength?"
"Don't say it."
She warned him, and her toe was menacing. Hiei didn't care. "You better not insult me with some ridiculous need to save face after revealing to the world that you're a woman."
From those words alone, things shifted immediately. In an instant, Mukuro vanished, winking out with a faint glint of red light. Then, in the blink of an eye, she was behind Hiei, energy glaring red like a raging fire.
"Now that's more like it."
Once more she pulled back her arm, but this time, she attacked like she could. Her red, glowing palm pushed into Hiei's stomach, exploding pain through his body like the flaring energy had punched through his skin. His body was thrown into a nearby rock formation, and he rolled down its cliffside like a falling boulder until finally returning to the ground, barely catching himself on his knees. The force from the punch and tumbling down rocks tore away half of his black shirt, and Hiei quickly discarded its useless remains. He raised his right arm, and the Darkness Flame bled through his wrapped bandages. Mukuro called his use of fire ironic, but Hiei considered it his curse. To be born with a nature opposite to his breed, his flames fueled by hatred, only able to consume what's around him.
"...If it were hatred," Mukuro said, unamused, "you would have destroyed the Glacial Village long ago."
Hiei did not summon the dragon just yet, but he used its dark power to send a burst of power from his own fist. Mukuro met it with her own power, and their attacks clashed between them, equal forces pushing against each other with loud crackles of energy.
Mukuro took a step forward, pushing the Darkness Flame back. "It's not hatred. It's longing. You just want to belong to something!" Hiei also stepped forward, fighting against Mukuro's incredible power. Step by step, the distance between them shrank. "But even when someone would hold out their hand, you refused to take it. Admit it!"
They stepped close enough where their two energies clustered into a ball, two opposing halves fighting for dominance. The red and blue lights twisted and curved in strange motions as they tried to reach their target. But when going forward was all but impossible, the ball of colliding energy dissolved, leaving dark crackles like lightning in their wake. Hiei and Mukuro stood still, right fists mere inches from each other. Hiei felt his strength draining, but Mukuro wasn't even out of breath. This was the only sign of how their battle was going so far. Hiei threw more punches, this time with both hands, but Mukuro blocked them all with her forearms. His barrage continued, occasionally adding kicks that were all similarly blocked.
"If you're having such trouble hurting me with two eyes, Hiei, then why don't you open your third? Unless, of course, you're the one fighting half-assed." Mukuro caught one of Hiei's fists in her palm, and she squeezed until the knuckles painfully cracked. "You've obviously got the Jagan for a reason. All I want you to do is use it to find what you have been looking for."
Hiei did not answer. Using his captured fist for balance, he hoisted his body into the air, but Mukuro dodged each of his kicks.
"Death is the easy way out," she said, completely unphased by his assault. "End your search. The real one, and find yourself."
She pulled away, and with a small wave of her hand, a white beam of light appeared in the air. On its sides, the sky and ground were pulled apart into misalignment, as if the light sliced the entire world into two. Hiei had seen this only once before: the division of space itself. But this…surely this would be much more dangerous than what could be done by a human Psychic. With more movements of her hand, more beams of light appeared like floating blades that Hiei needed to dodge. Multiple cuts into space, and soon Hiei was surrounded by a web of white beams. Each line distorted what Hiei could see, making it look like he was standing inside a silly funhouse of mirrors. Another beam appeared, and Hiei dodged, but his shoulder bumped into a different white division line, burning his skin upon contact. He was right; this was worse than what a human Psychic could produce. If he made a single misstep, those lines would tear him apart across three dimensions.
Her intention was clear. He could no longer run from this space.
"I was never afraid of what I would find." Hiei removed the cloth on his forehead and opened the Jagan Eye. "There are more important things than taking any hand that is offered to me." Slowly, he unwound the bandages on his arm. The Jagan Eye flashed, and black flames engulfed his body.
"Then your opinion about death really has changed." Mukuro's lips curved up into a small smile. "Since your investigation in the forest. Am I wrong?"
Hiei's face did not move. Not a single blink, flinch, or twitch of muscle. He refused to give Mukuro any indication that she was, in fact, correct. In the first six months of training at Mukuro's fortress, the exact question he asked Mukuro was a frequent tenant in his mind. If he was so unhappy without anything to live for, why wasn't he dead? He continued living, living and fighting. Moving forward while believing the only thing left for a life with all goals accomplished was falling in a worthy battle. Yet, he survived the wounds from his fight with Shigure, and he continued to live while searching for a battle to die, even when he met Miwa in the Demon World forest.
His job at the time was just to patrol the area, but when word came that a certain snake from Gandara was quickly making her way towards Mukuro's territory, Hiei was sent to investigate. The demons he worked with made stupid jokes, asking if he was excited to see an old teammate again, or threatening him if he were to betray Lord Mukuro with this assignment. Hiei ignored it all and did his job, but he did wonder what in the hell Miwa was doing in dangerous territory alone. He watched from afar as she left Tozashi, killed the two demons following her, and entered the forest with an unreliable heading. Tired of being an observer, he showed himself to her, confident that she wouldn't hide her intentions from him.
But then she said something ridiculous. That she had "nothing" if she didn't have her oath. It caught Hiei by surprise, and it welled up a surprising anger in him. He attacked her, much like he was attacking Mukuro now, because anyone who believed they truly had nothing may as well be dead. Yet, that idiot snake fought back, and he told her why. Because she knew, even if she didn't realize it, that she didn't have nothing. A fox who worried about her, a human who believed her to be his daughter, but the last thing…he said it on whim, almost not saying it at all.
"...there are some idiots out there that would fight if it meant saving your life."
Miwa's self-deprecating nonsense had gotten on his nerves. He hated how weak and pathetic her voice sounded, thinking she had nothing without her oath, because Hiei knew that feeling all too well. The aimless pursuit towards nothingness. The uncertainty of your own life's importance. He had lived through the same thoughts since he arrived at Mukuro's fortress. Maybe that was why he attacked her so quickly: to confirm if even someone like her could find nothing worth living for.
But when she threw those same words back at him, it changed everything.
For the first time in nearly a year, he remembered what he overheard back in Maze Castle. The same words Shirai would pull to the forefront of his memory during their battle, and the same feelings Miwa would confess to before her own. She, a snake who swore her life to another, felt that emotion called "love" towards him. The same emotion he had never once experienced from the places and people he had once called home. But of all demons Miwa ever came across, why him? Since Maze Castle, Hiei never had an answer for that question until she threw his own words back.
It wasn't a complete answer; he never had that until she confessed her feelings in full. But just hearing those words was enough to stop the aimless mindset that haunted him for months. If even he had people who would fight to save his life, if someone like Miwa considered him a demon worth loving, then even he did not have "nothing" to live for. Now, Miwa climbed her way out of that aimless pursuit and found an After for herself.
If she could do it, then so could he. That was the answer he found after a year of contemplation, but he didn't need to explain any of that to Mukuro.
"...I grow tired of this philosophical rambling," Hiei said, "We both have come this far on the basis of our strength. Let's see whose power will win in the end."
There was no slow buildup of power this time. A testament to Hiei's hard-earned strength, the Dragon of the Darkness Flame was summoned in mere seconds. Hiei held out his arms, and the monstrous black flames burst forth in a deadly spiral. The Dragon roared, jaws wide open, as it headed directly for Mukuro. She did not run or hide from the Dragon's might and braced herself for impact.
Mukuro reached out and grabbed the Dragon by the teeth, her red energy blazing as her only means of defense. It was commendable that she did not instantly disintegrate, but Mukuro's heels dug into the ground, and the Dragon pushed her back with hardly any effort. It scooped her up with its teeth and carried her into the sky, stretching its long black body towards the clouds. Mukuro used her hands and feet, grunting and groaning from the strain, to keep the giant jaws from clamping down on her. Mukuro's red energy grew stronger, either by necessity or sheer force of will, but if she did nothing, eventually the Dragon would win.
Her body shifted, and for a second, the Dragon's jaws nearly closed. But, with one powerful scream, Mukuro sent a huge burst of energy down the Dragon's throat. It cut through the black, flaming body like a giant blade, ripping it apart. The rip traveled down the length of the Dragon's body, as quick as tearing a piece of paper in half, and the cutting wave of red energy eventually made its way down to Hiei, backlashing against him with an explosion bigger than any bomb.
Hiei was thrown backward once more, landing weak and powerless on his stomach. He pushed himself up with his elbows, his whole body shaking from the effort. Mukuro, on the other hand, landed gracefully on her feet, still not out of breath. The rips on her clothes and small scratches on her skin were the only signs of damage. But from what Hiei could see, not even a single drop of blood was spilled.
"Was this a satisfying end?"
Slowly, Hiei forced himself to his feet out of sheer stubbornness. There was no strength left for him to fight anymore.
"In truth, every time you've summoned the Dragon, you weren't strong enough to control it constantly. It could only feed off the intentions of your soul." She paused, as if waiting for some sort of rebuttal. But none came. "You've lost. Your flame couldn't hurt me."
"...Hmph, I accept that. And all that it means."
Mukuro gave him a wry smile. "Please, Hiei. Don't tell me that the only purpose you have for living now is someday defeating me. I don't think that I could bear it."
"...No, Mukuro. You just don't see the answer I found."
Sensing a change, Mukuro lifted her hands. Although the chains had broken off long ago, the black shackles still hung heavy on her wrists. They weighed her down for so long that she often didn't think of them; like they had become a part of her flesh itself. But the faintest crack appeared in the metal, no smaller than a strand of hair, and from such a tiny fracture, both rings quickly collapsed into pieces.
She said it herself. The Dragon fed off the intentions of his soul.
"Now, you can leave your hatred in the past, where it belongs. You don't have to be shackled to it anymore." Hiei's arm was heavy, so much so that even something as simple as pointing his finger was an act of sheer will. "There are things in the future that are worth living for. Both for you, and for me."
Neither of them needed to know what those things were. Not just yet. If they could leave behind the things holding them back, then anyone could one day find the things worth living for. But Hiei would not elaborate on any of that; he didn't have the strength, and his stubbornness wouldn't keep him on his feet any longer. Hiei stumbled forward, fighting to keep his balance for as long as he was able, but he eventually fell to his knees, and Mukuro was at his side to catch him.
There wasn't much time before the hibernation would claim him, but for once, Hiei felt as if he could truly rest. He may not have won this battle, he may not have won this tournament, but even in failure, he felt no regret nor dissatisfaction. At the very least, he made peace with the answer he found.
"You, Yusuke, and Kuwabara," Miwa had said, "All of you helped me see who I am underneath my oath and obligations."
Hiei had crossed his arms and denied doing anything.
"You didn't have to do anything," she retorted. "...But just watching you…admiring what you were able to accomplish on your own, that was more than enough."
His mind clouded over as sleep forced its way through, sending up memories like the first hazy tendrils of a dream. Hiei had never expected a demon like Miwa would feel something so strongly for him. He saw with his own eyes how much she cared for Kurama, even if that idiot snake was stubbornly ignorant of the obvious. Yet, she still found something about him worth admiring. Mukuro thought he was strange for refusing to take her hand, when "love" was something that, until her, had never been willingly given to him. But Hiei didn't need her hand. The fact that her hand was offered to him at all was far more meaningful.
"...If someone like you puts so much value on a life like mine," he told her, the one answer he'd been able to find, "then the least I could do is make something of it."
Hiei closed his eyes, surrendering to the inevitable sleep. His chin rested on the shoulder of an infamous tyrant, but Hiei was sure that he, and his new perspective on life, would be safe with this person who understood him.
One day, just like that idiot snake, Hiei would find what comes after for him, too.
{00}
Kurama was discharged from the infirmary not long after Hiei's battle, but Miwa was forced to stay behind and rest until her Life Energy recovered to an acceptable level. That's what the nurses insisted anyway, even though Miwa was certain she could keep herself upright. But when the nurses saw her first stumble as she tried to walk, they put their foot down and confined Miwa to bed for another twenty-four hours. However, much to the nurses' chagrin, Kurama still came and woke her up to watch Yusuke's fight the following day. It took him at least twenty minutes to pull her out of recovering unconsciousness, but she appreciated his persistence and the foresight to come early enough to ensure she would be awake. It was a fight Miwa would have hated to miss.
Yusuke versus Yomi, the battle between two former lords, was all the spectacle everyone expected and more. They traded blow after blow, fighting each other with everything they had, like many of the contenders at the tournament. But Yomi's experience and strength showed when he created a perfect barrier that blocked all demonic energy attacks. Yusuke, as expected, wasn't going to give up because of some shield, but there was a strange moment where Yusuke suddenly stopped, looking lost and bewildered. He couldn't remember why he had been fighting so hard all this time. For what purpose did he want to win? Yusuke's hesitation angered Yomi, as the former lord discarded everything for the sake of a battle like this.
The mazoku in Yusuke's blood awakened, revealing striking marks on his skin, but Yusuke managed to find himself again, and he fought back in the most Yusuke-like way possible. He raised his finger to blast at the shield, mixing in Spirit Energy with his Demon Energy. Yomi's shield was designed to block the powers of demons, but the power of Yusuke's humanity snuck its way through, drawing blood by slicing a small cut on Yomi's cheek. Yomi's shield collapsed, and Yusuke unleashed a new power never before seen by anyone that knew him. The energy wasn't human, nor was it demon. Even from far away, Miwa and Kurama could sense it from the infirmary room, and they wanted to call it Sacred Energy. But the designation felt both wrong and accurate. It wasn't anything like the energy they sensed from Shinobu Sensui, but it was the closest comparison they could draw.
Their battle ended with both fighters getting punched in the face, each throwing everything they had into the final blow. For an instant, they were about to knock each other out into a draw. But Yomi's head jerked up, as if he had noticed something, and he caught himself at the last second. Yusuke collapsed, and he did not get up, so Yomi was declared the final winner.
Miwa and Kurama could only speculate what had caught Yomi's attention. Maybe his height advantage meant Yusuke's reach couldn't make as effective a punch. Maybe Yusuke was still too inexperienced to defeat someone as old as Yomi. Regardless of the reason, the first of the Demon World's former lords had fallen with Yusuke's loss.
"He was so close, too…" Miwa sighed, throwing herself back into her pillows. Although Kurama had propped them up so she could lean against the headboard, she ended up sitting upright in her excitement.
Kurama watched her carefully, hoping the sudden movement wouldn't trigger anything. "Yusuke fought admirably," he said, "I don't expect he would be ashamed of his efforts, even if it resulted in a loss."
The pillows below Miwa's head were so soft and comfortable. The adrenaline from Yusuke's battle was quickly leaving her, so she sat up again before she unwillingly slipped into sleep. Heaving a dramatic sigh, she turned her attention over to Kurama. "You're the only one left of us, now."
"Will you cheer for me from here?"
"Um…" His smile made Miwa look away. "O-Of course I would," she said, maybe too hastily, "If I'm not already out by then."
He reached out his hand and gently patted her head, which made her cheeks flush. "You don't need to push yourself to recover." He looked to the side, and a nurse had placed herself strategically by the door frame, ready to chase him out. With a slow reluctance, he stood up. "Yusuke will be fine as well, so you should keep resting."
The nurse interjected, agreeing with Kurama's words but also scolding him for barging in there to begin with. Kurama accepted her scorn and apologized, and the nurse kept her composure enough to politely escort him away. He disappeared behind the door frame with a smile and a wave, not looking guilty in the slightest, and then he was gone.
When the nurse returned, she placed her metal clipboard on the bedside table, and Miwa obediently lay down. The nurse checked her condition with a glowing right hand and adeptly used her left to take notes on her clipboard. "You're not quite out of the woods yet," the nurse explained. Miwa caught a glimpse of her name tag, and it read "Togi" in simple black print. "Your demon energy is still burning up to keep you alive. If you just took it easy, we wouldn't have to split up a happy couple,"
"Ha-" Miwa's words were interrupted by her own gasp, and she coughed. Then, another wave of fatigue made the room spin, further proving the nurse's point. Togi pulled her hand away, and Miwa sat up once again to ask, "What do you-"
But Togi gave her a stern look, silently demanding that Miwa settle down. "I'm just going by what I saw," she shrugged. "We watch the tournament fights too, you know. Helps us predict who may need treatment."
Miwa still didn't understand what Togi was referencing, but the nurse pointed at the room's TV screen. The universe decided to both spite Miwa and answer the question she never fully articulated. A lull in battle coverage came up as unconscious fighters were carried out of arenas while fully conscious fighters were waiting for clearance to begin. Koto used the lull to recap highlight moments from the third round so far. Of course, she spent a lot of time on the very recent conclusion of Yusuke versus Yomi and Hiei versus Mukuro. Both fights involved former lords and ended in such spectacular fashion, and she provided commentary as the screen replayed footage from the matches. But, when Koto moved on to other fights, eventually the focus turned to something more familiar.
"In Group B," Koto said, "we watched longtime partners Kurama and Miwa go head-to-head for the first time, and they tore the arena apart!" On screen, video footage flashed through clips of Miwa's giant water snake, Kurama reviving the Okunenju, and Miwa halting it mid-attack. Honestly, seeing it from a third-person perspective was an interesting sight, but then the footage changed again. "And when the dust settled," Koto continued, "we witnessed a surprising conclusion!"
The destroyed arena ruined all the stationary cameras on the plateau, but the flying camera girls still managed to sneak their lenses through the thick tree branches. They witnessed Miwa's surrender (which in hindsight was obvious since she was declared the loser), but the cameras rolled even after the fight was over. From the footage's view, Miwa saw herself get pulled into a hug and go limp in Kurama's arms. That was as far as she remembered. But as Kurama lowered her down, Miwa learned what happened next. She watched as the on-screen Kurama brushed aside her bangs, leaned down, and kissed her gently on the forehead.
Koto's tone turned coy. "Perhaps the partnership was something more than any of us expected!"
Miwa's hand flew up to smack her forehead, a fruitless attempt to find some sort of physical evidence for what she just saw. Thankfully, both the footage and Koto's commentary moved on. Togi wasn't even paying attention, focusing more on her clipboard notes, but Miwa pressed her face into the pillows, her cheeks burning hot. An irrational anger welled up because he had done something like that so publicly, but she couldn't blame him. Before passing out, Miwa wasn't thinking of the camera girls flying around either, so why would he? But seeing the footage for herself reminded her all over again of Kurama's confession.
"I don't think he'll be fighting for a while," the nurse continued, perhaps kind enough to ignore Miwa's embarrassment, "so please stay in bed and rest this time."
Miwa nodded, unable to show her face or summon any words to argue. Togi left the room satisfied, and Miwa was alone.
This awkward embarrassment was so hard for her to get used to. Even when Kurama casually asked if she would cheer for him, her answer felt forced and awkward. Without the battle as a distraction, she became overly conscious of everything he did, and she couldn't remember how to talk to him naturally. Every word out of her mouth had to be chosen carefully - or so her mind was making her believe - because their dynamic was no longer the same as it had always been. The tournament footage was the final proof of that. If Miwa were not so conscious of it (and frankly if she weren't so tired from using Life Energy), maybe a more rational part of herself could have faked a calmer response.
No…this is just how it is until I figure things out.
This was what she wanted. To move forward. To change.
Miwa pulled the sheet blanket over her head, and luckily the fatigue quickly drew her to sleep. Hours later, after a quick checkup, Togi reported that Yusuke was brought to a different infirmary, but she refused to divulge his condition with anything more than a curt, "He's fine." After all the excitement of watching both Hiei and Yusuke's fights, and because Kurama woke Miwa up against their wishes, Togi became stricter regarding Miwa's recovery. Clearly, they didn't have time to deal with her blatant disregard for their care plan. Even after Miwa's initial twenty-four-hour bed confinement ended, the nurses forbade anyone from. The only allowance was passing along short messages; usually just a "so-and-so came to check on you" announcement. So, Miwa had nothing to do but sleep away the rest of the tournament's third round like an obedient patient should.
Usually, when Miwa recovered her life energy like this, there were no dreams. Just a grey nothingness where no coherent thoughts could be formed. While her unconsciousness still swam in that grey nothingness, memories managed to surface in her mind this time. She dreamt of the way Kurama held her at the end of their battle. Her upper body being pulled into his, and the strength in his arms and fingers as he held her close, although he himself was so exhausted. His fingers digging into her shoulder and waist, as if he thought relaxing his grip for even a second would mean she'd disappear. Calling her a "nuisance," but nothing in his tone suggesting he would ever get tired of it. The gentle kiss on her forehead. Him, who has been by her side for so long, saying he was in love with her…
Awake or asleep, Miwa had to convince herself this was now a reality she had to face.
After the fourth round began, the nurses were satisfied enough with her recovery to finally discharge her. After sticking her lotus ornament back into her hair, Miwa left her room, walking slowly and carefully down the hallway to not give the nurses a single hint of stumble or sway. As she passed by another patient's room, she heard a quick update on the status of the fourth round. A few fights had already ended, but from what she remembered of the brackets, she should still have time before Kurama's next match. At the very least, she would have time to get back to the arena. She passed by the nurse's station in the main lobby with her head held high, politely thanking them for their time and effort.
Togi lifted her head indifferently and pointed over her shoulder towards the exit. "A friend of yours has come to escort you back."
Puzzled, Miwa craned her neck to look past the nurse. It was Shirai, sitting patiently in the waiting area with a small book in his hand. Miwa grinned at finally seeing a familiar face. He stood up, having noticed her approach, and pocketed the book without marking his place.
"You certainly look much better," he said, stepping forward.
"Maybe not a hundred percent just yet, but I am cleared to at least walk on my own now." As long as Miwa didn't get too excited, then the waves of fatigue weren't a problem anymore either. "How did you know I was getting out?"
Shirai glanced up at the nurses, turned, and headed for the exit. Miwa trotted after him, and once they were safely out the door, he said, "I may have…overheard their thoughts on your recovery when I stopped by yesterday." He chuckled. "Do not worry. They may think of you as stubborn, but you are hardly the worst patient they have seen at this tournament."
"That's good to hear, I guess. How is Yusuke?"
"He is still in the infirmary. It seems he exhausted himself even more than you did."
"He did fight against Yomi…"
"It was a splendid match, indeed."
They chatted casually as they returned to the main arena. On the way, Miwa noticed Shirai maintained about half a step's distance behind her as they walked. At first, it confused her. In the past, he had a habit of keeping himself slightly ahead of his companions. Where they could clearly see him and his hands. But then, the answer was obvious: he was keeping an eye on her in case she stumbled. She decided not to point it out, instead letting herself feel grateful for his consideration. In the end, his assistance was not needed, and Miwa counted herself lucky. Tripping in front of demons that watched her forfeit (among other things) would have been really embarrassing.
Shirai was also kind enough to catch her up on other things she missed while sleeping away the past two days. Hiei was back on his feet and back to normal in time to watch Yusuke fight. Yusuke himself was also fine, just as the nurse told her, but when Shirai said Yusuke exhausted himself, he actually meant the boy hadn't woken up once since the match ended. The whole time, he slept like the dead, and not even the loudest visitors (Jin and Chuu in particular) were able to wake him. Shirai noticed Miwa slowed down her walk, so he assured her that other than his deep sleep, Yusuke's condition was completely stable. Miwa also learned that the reason Yomi suddenly caught his balance after Yusuke's punch was because of Shura. Back in the main arena stands, Shura had called out for his father when he was on the verge of collapse, and Yomi heard the small child's voice from hundreds of miles away. It saved Yomi, grounding him to the waking world long enough to secure victory. Mukuro, in the meantime, already finished her fourth-round fight, coming out victorious against Natsume and advancing to the semifinals. Neither Yomi nor Kurama had begun their next fight yet, but their opponents were, of course, already decided. Yomi's fight would likely come the following day, against a demon named Shousei who so far hadn't really done anything worth their attention. But Kurama's match was beginning soon, and he was fighting against Kujou, Natsume's twin and the man who defeated Touya in the first round.
They entered the first viewing room they came across, but neither of them pushed through the crowd to get closer to the screen. They could see well enough from the back, and it was easier to talk there. Koto's introduction for the match had already begun. "Guess I'm still lucky enough for timely discharges," Miwa said.
Shirai chuckled. "You would have forcefully checked yourself out if it were necessary."
"I may have been thinking about that."
On screen, Kurama and Kujou were making their way to the starting arena. Both men were, at first glance, in perfect condition to fight. The light wounds Kurama received from his fight with Miwa were long healed, and Kujou had gotten this far with relatively smooth victories.
"After destroying one of the Okunenju arenas a mere two days ago," Youda told Koto, "it will be interesting to witness Kurama's strategy against Kujou, who has yet to show any signs of slowing down."
Shirai held his chin with one hand. "...A similar speculation has been floating around for a while now. Now that stronger fighters are getting pit against each other, it's more likely the victor will walk away too tired to make it to the end."
Miwa wondered if he was thinking about Yomi. "Meaning, the final winner is becoming harder and harder to predict."
"Do you think Kurama will win?"
She thought about it, watching the screen. As Koto counted down to the beginning of the battle, Kurama quickly brandished his Rose Whip while Kujou simply raised his fists; he had proven himself as a weaponless fighter in the tournament thus far. Miwa had never seen Kujou up close, and the only battle with him she had paid attention to was against Touya. He was strong, without a shadow of a doubt, but all the fighters in Raizen's old friend group, including Kujou, all seemed to be holding something back. Or, rather than holding back, they had not had the chance to show their full power. Miwa's shoulders drooped, feeling a bit guilty for forcing Kurama to go all out so early in the tournament. And for a fight she had intended to forfeit… She hadn't seen him face-to-face since Yusuke's match, but even her fatigued brain could tell that he wasn't at full strength anymore.
"I won't say it's impossible," Miwa answered slowly, and Koto's loud voice began the battle, "But any victory for him going forward would be hard-won…"
Shirai was no longer looking at the screen, instead focusing all his attention on Miwa. Although he wouldn't say it aloud, his only interest in this fight was the victor, not how it was won. "Do you think he wants to win?"
She didn't look away from the screen; Kujou was skillfully dodging Kurama's Rose Whip attacks while a cloud of red petals kept him from getting too close.
"Because if he rules the Demon World," Shirai continued, "he would not be able to return to being Shuichi Minamino."
"No," Miwa said firmly, "He would find a way to rule from Living World, if that's what it took." From the start, Kurama's goal was to maintain balance between the different worlds. "He would not leave behind his family. They are too important to him."
"...As are you."
Miwa froze, but she quickly resigned herself with a heavy sigh. "You knew about that before our fight, didn't you?"
Shirai lowered his head. "Forgive me for being so intrusive."
"That explains why he wasn't very fond of your advice..."
"I was encouraging him to be honest about his feelings towards you. …Did you really have no idea?"
Her attention returned to the screen. This time, Kurama was on the defensive, and the landscape had huge craters in the dirt as Kujou threw out energy blasts. A single crater was half the size of a human swimming pool, but more and more demonic plants sprouted from the ground to slow Kujou down.
"It took so much courage just to call him my friend. There's no way I could have noticed…"
"Then…" Shirai spoke slowly and quietly. He didn't want other demons to hear this. "...in all the time you have known each other, you never even considered the possibility?"
Miwa held back the urge to laugh. Something about this conversation reminded her of Saya, who once asked a very similar question. Back then, and even in middle school, Miwa was quick to dismiss the mere suggestion. Her mission of being "useful" was so ingrained in her that any other perspective was nothing more than a fantasy. …But there was a point, wasn't there? A point long ago when a certain perspective was trying so hard to force its way through, because for the first time, another person had come between them. The first time she had ever reconsidered her oath…
"...My life didn't belong to me," Miwa said, lowering her head, "I made it so I couldn't consider that possibility."
"But now you can."
While they were talking, Kurama gained the upper hand. His plan, it would seem, was inspired by Kujou's match with Touya. Just like Touya's ice, Kurama's plants conspired to capture Kujou and drain his energy until their powers balanced out. The vines of a bright red ivy wrapped around Kujou's wrists and ankles, biting into his skin and devouring energy like a hungry bat. Kurama knew he would be walking into this fight with a handicap, and this was the only way he could ever stand a chance.
"It still doesn't feel real, you know," Miwa said, lacing her fingers together, "Him feeling something like that for me."
Shirai sighed, but he also started to pay attention to the screen. "I feel you may be the only one who thinks that…"
Miwa's fingers twiddled in front of her chest. Ever since coming to the Human World, she had been surrounded by people, humans and demons alike, who speculated about the nature of her relationship with Kurama. Miwa had never cared about it, only focusing on what she considered to be the truth. Anything but the truth was a ridiculous fantasy. But now a new truth confronted her, and Miwa wondered if this disbelief was what Hiei felt when he overheard her feelings back at Maze Castle. What she would give to know how Hiei had come to terms with the knowledge that someone felt this way for him...
Miwa forced her hands apart and pressed them firmly to her sides. "It's not something I can accept so quickly."
In truth, Shirai had his own speculations on what Miwa's feelings for Kurama could mean, but he would never say them aloud. It was something Miwa needed to figure out herself, without his input. He sighed again. "I suppose your dismal awareness of your own worth is not something that can be fixed overnight…"
"...What are you trying to say?"
"I wish you would consider those who do care about you. If you still think of yourself as nothing, then who is it we have been caring for?"
Kujou freed himself from the energy-hungry vines, and Kurama was once again on the run. But at this point of the fight, his pace was much slower than before. His breathing was heavier, and the demonic plants moved about with a more sluggish vigor than before. Kujou, in the meantime, was not slowed down in the slightest by his drained energy… His demeanor was confident and strong, having just as much fun as he did when battling against Touya.
Miwa pressed her lips together. Breaking her cycle and moving forward was already becoming more difficult than she expected. She'd have never guessed such heavy introspection would come so soon. She watched the screen carefully, wondering what would be best for herself and the person who loved her. Like Shirai said, she had a dismal awareness of her own worth. It was so hard to believe that someone could love her this way. A snake whose life belonged to someone else never needed to reflect on her own opinion of herself. The only important thing was how that life could be useful to the person who owned it. Miwa made such a big deal about finding an After, and she decided the path she wanted to walk. But she had yet to put value on the life she had lived so far. Was self-worth something so easy to find?
Then, as if it wanted to aid in answering her questions, Hiei's words came to mind: "...If someone like you puts so much value on a life like mine," he told her, "then the least I could do is make something of it."
Miwa did not fully understand what he meant, or what those words could have meant to him, but she knew instinctively that they were deeply important. In that moment, she took it to mean that even though Hiei did not return her feelings, he still considered her opinion to be worth taking into consideration. The more she thought about it, especially after watching his fight with Mukuro, it was, in some part, his inspiration in moving forward. To live up to the value someone else puts on his own life.
Miwa could do that too. Kurama told her he loved her, regardless of whether she had been able to live her own life. Regardless of her usefulness during the years they lived as humans. He said she was thoughtful and sincere, perhaps seeing who Miwa really was before she could. Someone as patient and kind as Kurama believed Miwa was worth caring for. I see, Miwa realized. This must have been what it felt like for Hiei to learn about her own feelings. To learn that someone out there truly cares for you, even if you see yourself as nothing special.
"You're right," Miwa whispered. "I promised him I would think about it, and I will."
When Maya Kitajima first made her reconsider her oath, Miwa discovered a complicated emotion that she had left nameless all this time. Hiei called it jealousy, but even if Miwa agreed with him, she knew something else was there. That feeling was, in many ways, special. He was special to her. Partners, friends, lovers… Miwa was certain that she wanted them to be together, no matter what shape they took. No matter what name she gave the special emotion in her heart. And the least she could do was make sure the person she became would be worthy of the hand he offered to her.
One of Kujou's energy blasts exploded at Kurama's feet, tossing the redhead back like a rag doll. Kurama somehow caught himself when his feet hit the ground, but the momentum forced him to continue tumbling down. His clothes were tattered and torn from Kujou's attacks, and fresh blood stained the white material.
Kujou paused his attacks. "I don't want to hurt you, Kurama," he said. "But if you wish to fight to the end, like your friend did, then I will gladly oblige."
Kurama pulled himself up to his knees, but that was where it stopped. He made no effort to stand. "I hate to admit it, but perhaps on this day, I was simply not meant to fight you at my fullest potential."
"...You saved that for your previous battle, didn't you?"
Kurama nodded.
Kujou lowered his fists and relaxed his posture. He stepped closer to Kurama, but nothing about his stance made him out to be a threat. Kujou held out one hand, which Kurama readily took. "Let me at least thank you for fighting with the best you could offer on this day."
"You're welcome," Kurama said, and Kujou pulled him to his feet. "I concede the victory to you."
Koto's screams officially ending the match were nearly drowned out by the yelling of the other demons in the viewing room. Their voices echoed off the metal walls of the small space, making Miwa wince. "I guess now," she said quietly, slinking back against the wall, "the last of my friends are out of the running as the new King." The result wasn't surprising to her, but accepting his loss was still a complicated feeling.
Shirai chuckled, but Miwa did not resent how his tone implied that, as far as Shirai was concerned, Yomi still had a chance. "Will you go to him now?" Shirai asked. "I am sure seeing your face would lift his spirits."
Miwa tried not to blush too much, but she nodded anyway. "You're going to stay here?"
"Yes. Lord Yomi's match isn't until tomorrow, but I want to continue observing the victors."
On screen, Kujou and Kurama were speaking amicably to each other. The footage was no longer catching either of their voices, and Miwa did not feel like putting in the effort to lip-read, but neither did she feel it was necessary. Seeing the look on their faces was more than enough for her to know there was no bad blood between either fighter. The sportsmanship in battles like this was, in many ways, heartwarming. Even Yomi, a ruler who used threats to ensure Kurama would do as he asked, now seemed to be fighting with a genuine love for battle and testing his strength against a worthy opponent. It was like witnessing a completely different person on screen.
"...You still call him 'Lord Yomi', huh?"
Shirai blinked. In an unusual show of emotion, his pale cheeks also had a tinge of pink. "I suppose I do," he said, fidgeting with his own curled fingers.
Miwa quietly gloated to herself. It wasn't often that Shirai could be caught off guard like this. "You have been equals for the past few months. All of us have."
"Old habits die hard, and all."
…That was a phrase Miwa could never argue against, no matter how justified she felt, and she overheard many former Gandarans in the audience, including Youda, continue referring to Yomi in the same manner. "But he is important to you, right? If he ends up winning this thing, now may be your only chance to speak to him as a peer."
Shirai's jaw tightened; a nervous reaction Miwa could really sympathize with. "I will consider it," he said, trying to end the line of conversation.
She smiled, deciding to free him from the light teasing, and bade him farewell with a casual, "I'll see you later." He returned the gesture, still a little flushed in the cheeks, and Miwa left the viewing room. By then, the fatigue had faded enough that there was nary a single stumble in her step. Miwa cautiously broke into a light jog, imagining Togi's scolding voice as she did, but she neither tripped nor fell. Picking up speed, she felt a little excited that even this wasn't a challenge. Maybe she wasn't strong enough to win the tournament or recovered enough to beat up other demons in her way, but she could walk, run, and laugh all on her own. She heard the demons around her point and whisper, wondering why the hell that girl was running around with a stupid grin on her face mere moments after her long-time partner lost a fight, of all times. Miwa didn't care. After sleeping in the infirmary for days, she wanted nothing more than to see her friends.
Friends… The stupid grin receded to a small look of wonder. Friends. The word came up so naturally in her mind. As if somewhere inside, she already considered him a friend all along. The stupid grin returned, and she ran even faster.
Miwa rounded a hallway corner, only skidding on the tiled floor ever so slightly, following the signs directing fighters to the Okunenju arenas. What would she say when she found him? What do you tell a fighter who probably knew, from the moment he stepped into the ring, that he didn't have a chance? …What do you tell a friend who couldn't meet the expectations you put on them by insisting they be the one moving forward? Miwa shook her head clear of those thoughts. No need to think too hard on it; she would figure it out when she gets there.
Rounding another corner, she finally caught his energy and scent. Still grinning stupidly, her run turned into a sprint. One more hallway. One more corner. This time, her feet slid out from under her as she turned, and Miwa's hands clawed at the corner wall in a desperate attempt to keep herself upright. The painted drywall bit into her skin, the pressure on her joints was uncomfortable, and the drywall itself crumbled under the force of her grip. It was an awkward, embarrassing display, and she couldn't even blame fatigue for it; just her own eagerness being too much for the tiled floor to bear.
"...Miwa?"
And someone had seen it. Of course.
Kurama was alone in the hallway, his clothes still tattered and bloodstained, but he was no longer limping along like the exhausted fighter she had expected. Other than his clothes and depleted energy, he could have been walking through the hallways of his own home, and Miwa found herself heaving a sigh of surprising relief. While she would not have been opposed to supporting him if he needed it, it had always been difficult due to the difference in their heights. And truthfully, Miwa wasn't sure she was mentally prepared for the once familiar act; not with a certain new perspective she had yet to fully reconcile.
"You're out of the infirmary?" Kurama asked. "Is it safe for you to be running around like that?"
"...The blood on your clothes is still bright red, and you're asking me if I'm okay running around?" Miwa laughed, pushed herself away from the wall, and dusted the powdered drywall off her hands. "I'm fine. Haven't stumbled once since I left." She saw his attention turn to the ruined wall, but she cut in before he could say anything. "Not that kind of stumbling. This floor was just slipperier than I thought…"
He hunched over, and a well-practiced instinct put Miwa on high alert. But Kurama brought a hand up to cover his mouth as a muffled laugh reverberated in the hallway, and she immediately relaxed. "I'm sorry," he said, his shoulders shaking with mirth, "I didn't expect to see you here, but then you suddenly…" He held his stomach, laughing harder than before. "If you're this energetic, then you must be okay."
A dense part of Miwa's mind wondered if he had always worried over her like this, without any concern for himself. When logic and memory stepped in, she remembered that yes, he had always been like this. Or at the very least, he had been like this since becoming Shuichi Minamino, but her mindset refused to really see that until now. She took a few steps forward, hoping he wouldn't sense how the new revelation made her feel embarrassed again. Once again, Shirai was correct. Miwa didn't even do anything, not intentionally at least, but Kurama's spirits seemed lifted indeed.
"What about you?" she asked, pointing at his clothes, "Kujou sure put you through the ringer."
"I'm fine." He straightened up, a small smile being the last remnant of his laughter. "Now I understand the challenge Touya faced while fighting him."
"And now you're part of the tournament losers club, like the rest of us."
He laughed again. "We did the best we could. All that's left now is hoping for the best."
Miwa thought about that. Since the beginning of the tournament, a sportsmanship uncommon in the Demon World was permeating the battles taking place. Fighters were encouraging each other to be at their best, showing respect for a fallen opponent, or suggesting a forfeit so the other would survive. Yusuke Urameshi made it clear on the first day that he did not want any of the contenders to lose their lives. He would much rather have them live and come back to fight another day, at the next tournament. At the time, demons in the audience jeered and berated such a naive view of the demonic thirst for blood. Yusuke's pure love for fighting, while not unheard of, was not held by the majority in Demon World. But Kujou was not like the majority either. He could have left an unconscious Touya to die on the melting ice; many demons would have taken the opportunity to eliminate a future threat without their own hands getting wet. He could have continued attacking Kurama while he was weak on his knees, securing a victory by knocking him unconscious or killing him. But he didn't do any of that. Instead, he spared Kurama unnecessary pain, and offered his hand in friendship. He exhibited the best traits Yusuke wanted from contenders in the tournament, and demons doing the same were all moving forward in the brackets.
For a long time, Kurama and Miwa had worried about the winner of the tournament drastically changing the balance between the worlds. However, if so many fighters were inspired by the vision of a former Spirit Detective nurtured by all three worlds, then maybe there was hope for the future after all. Living World's strongest defenders were no longer in the running, as were their hopes of ever having control over the balance between worlds.
"But," Miwa said, "if fighters like him are at the forefront, then maybe Demon World can change after all."
Kurama agreed without even a moment of consideration. For the first time in over a year, the weight of their worries felt much lighter on their shoulders. Maybe returning to a peaceful human life, where the two of them could explore the infinite possibilities of the future together, wasn't too extravagant of a dream.
Notes: A much shorter chapter than recent ones, but a few fights were still squeezed in. I didn't change much for Hiei versus Mukuro other than dialogue that fits this story better, and going into Miwa's adjustment following Kurama's confession has really been tapping into my love for shoujo manga.
I'm also really grateful for the reviews from the last chapter! I'd been brainstorming Kurama versus Miwa for so long; since writing the Dark Tournament chapters. It's changed a lot since then, but finally writing it and seeing the response was so fun and heartwarming. The Demon World Tournament is almost over, but I still have lots of post-tournament stuff in mind!