Chapter 17: Truth Seekers
D.H.O.R.K.S., Undisclosed location, Earth
In a darkened green-lit room, a small monitor screen showed a clip of Moxxie stopping Blitzo from firing his rifle at Martha at her house. ("Murder Family").
Another screen showed a clip of Lily slouching back to shore after killing the fish monster at the beach and Lobo destroying the evidence. ("Spring Broken").
A third one showed Lily and Moxxie French-kissing with their long tongues while swinging above the stage during the battle in their human disguises. ("C.H.E.R.U.B.").
As a fourth screen zoomed in from a field of grazing horses and focused on an excited Blitzo, mouth agape, tongue out and holding a crushed can in one hand and the grimoire on another, the clip paused.
A white finger touched the still screen.
"Right there," said a male voice. "This was the first sighting."
A witness had captured Blitzo on a cell phone and the video was soon found by members of a secret organization. The organization was called D.H.O.R.K.S., (Department of Homeland Occult Research and Killing Stuff?). They had facilities all over the country.
Their goal was to search and hunt for paranormal activity, specifically demons, in order to protect Earth…but also because they were huge occult dorks. They had invented drone-like devices to track energy signatures whenever portals from Hell to Earth opened up…and the heat signatures of those nearby.
As soon as the portals opened or closed, the devices were sent out. The near-invisible drones had gotten footage of I.M.P. during all their murder missions on Earth.
The members all wore black suits and carried various weapons like melee, katanas, kusarigama (metal chain with heavy iron weight at the top) naginata (curved sword), throwing stars, pole weapons, and stun guns. They were a combination of Men in Black, the Matrix, SCP Organization, and underground experiment organizations. Just your stereotypical dark conspiracy agents working in secret and studying extraterrestrial beings like those in Area 51.
Another white hand appeared, gesturing to the screen as a female voice spoke. "They are definitely from Hell. They must use this dark magic to cross over into our world…" The fist clenched.
In the room, more screens displayed various scenes of I.M.P. during their adventures.
The female agent, Agent Two stood up. She had short curly blonde hair, dark skin and dark shades over her eyes. Her attire consisted of a dark suit with a white undershirt, a black necktie, red collar cuffs and red sleeve ends. Pinned on her suit was a logo; a white D over a red triangle. She adjusted her sunglasses and put her hand to her chin as she pondered in thought.
"And they seem to be killing specifically-targeted people. But why?"
The other female agent, Agent three stood by. She is of Japanese descent and has long black hair, Light pale-skin, and dark shades over her brown eyes. Wearing a white dress shirt with a black tie, a black blazer and matching professional skirt, black pantyhose and heels.
The male, Agent One then stood up. He had white skin, a pointed chin and light brown short hair on his angular head. He, too, adjusted his shades and wore the same colored suit and logo as Agent 2.
With a swoop of his hand, "They always attack at random, all over the country. There's no way to predict where they'll show up next!"
Just then, the agents gasped and turned as they heard a rattling and screeching cat noise from outside. They peered through a barred window and some lopsided blinds. The male agent pulled the blinds aside and spotted Blitzo with one foot toward a dumpster.
Agent Two grinned evilly. "Ah well, that's convenient!"
0 0 0
"Shh!" Blitzo shushed to Moxxie as he held onto the dumpster lid. "Remember, we can't be seen!" Blitzo slammed the lid before losing his balance and tumbling to the ground. He landed head-first into a garbage bag.
"Are you sure you're not talking about yourself, Blitzo?" asked Lobo his human disguise with Millie giggling at her boss' antics and Moxxie rolling his eyes.
Moxxie face-palmed and shook his head while Millie and Lily giggled nearby before strolling away. Moxxie glanced around before addressing his boss in a harsh whisper.
"Pardon my word, sir, but you're currently being the loudest."
Blitzo got out from the bag and angrily poked Moxxie in the face. A soiled pink garment hung from the tip of one of his horns, a lollipop was on his face, a piece of paper lay on his forehead and on his finger…was a used up green condom. Moxxie stared in utter disgust.
"I said shush your dick-sucking lips, Moxxie!" Blitzo spat, poking hard at Moxxie who then flinched and shooed him away.
Lobo heard slight movement behind them with a faint sound of a gun being clacked just as the portal was being opened. Millie and Lily walks through the portal waving back at them with Loona and Matilda waiting for them as well.
"Get down!" yelled Lobo tackling Blitzo and Moxxie to the ground as a net zoomed by.
Blitzo growled on top of Moxxie, staring at a shadowy figure in the background. It was Agent One, holding a large cannon-like weapon with three white barrels with nets in the center. With a click, another net opened up at the ready. Falling from a rooftop, Agent Two landed gracefully on the ground, standing between Blitzo and the portal. Blitzo and Moxxie were surrounded by two armed humans. If these human strangers soon saw the portal to Hell…
"Loona! Close it!" Blitzo shouted.
Loona stared at the grimoire in her furry hands and muttered a few words. "Wait! No!" Millie cried, rushing toward the opening, but it had already closed. Moxxie held out a reaching hand in desperation.
As Lobo was about to summon Ebony and Ivory, a dog whistle was blown and due to enhanced and sensitive ears he howled in pain. He holds his head in pain and then four large tranquilizers dart hit his neck then he collapses to the floor. Turning back into his hellhound form.
"Lobo!!!" Moxxie and Blitzo yelled out as they saw their friend collapse to the ground. Blitzo seethed and took out his black and red pistol. The two imps leaped and flipped as they dodged the nets being fired at them. Moxxie smiled and aimed his pistol at Agent One.
Thud.
A tranquilizing dart struck Moxxie in the back of the neck. He wobbled on his feet and groaned before collapsing.
"Moxxie!" Blitzo cried. He hoisted up his employee and darted away. He drop-kicked Agent Two before taking off, carrying Moxxie on one shoulder. He run to Lobo and grabbed him by the tail. He raced down the alley as Moxxie groaned "I smell…colors…" and the agents gave chase. With horror, Blitzo realized he had reached a dead end. He turned around to face the agents, weapon in one hand, a limp Moxxie in the other.
"Back off, you tuxedo-wearing fucks!"
The agents just grinned and aimed their weapons. As Blitzo aimed his flintlock pistol, Agent Two pulled the trigger.
Zzzzap!
A flash of blue electricity shot from Agent Two's gun, stunning both imps. They shook uncontrollably and cried out as the electricity raced through their bodies. Blitzo was struck twice. When the electricity faded, the imps slumped to the ground, going into unconsciousness.
The agents chuckled darkly, standing over the fallen imps.
"Hmhm. I'd like to see the suits at corporate call us losers now!" laughed Agent One. He turned to his comrade. "That was pretty badass."
Agent Two smiled and posed with her gun pointed in the air. "Super badass!"
Blitzo and Moxxie slipped under as the agents carried their limp forms back to headquarters.
"Can you believe it?" said Agent Two. "After all those months of hunting down these devils, we finally caught 'em!"
"And in just minutes, too!" Agent One added. "Now, the corporation will surely believe us."
"No more being treated like superstitious laughing-stocks," added Agent Two. "Just imagine…us discovering the demons' plan. Being heralded as heroes by the government. Think of how much money will pour in!"
"Can we hurry up? This guy is heavy as he looks." Agent three says as she is struggling to carry Lobo. The other two nodded their heads and went towards their base.
Agent One licked his lips greedily as he carried Blitzo. Agent Two dragged Moxxie along before punching in a code (666-666) on a keypad. The button glowed green and a small door opened. The agents walked in before the door closed. From the outside, the door blended perfectly with the white concrete wall.
0 0 0
Back at I.M.P. headquarters, Lily pounded the wall in frustration, tears in her eyes.
"Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" She cursed and yelled, head back before lowering it and sobbing. It felt like she was drowning in sheer despair and helplessness. Moxxie was there and then he was gone. She hadn't been able to save him.
"Who were those guys? They looked like Government agents", asked Matilda hugging Millie.
Millie was crying loudly on Maddie's sleeve while she stroked Millie's hair in an effort to comfort her. Loona looked a bit uncomfortable having never really gotten close to the female imp before dating Lobo, or seen her vulnerable before.
Loona stood behind her, book in hand, finger extended. She tilted her head in concern. "You uh…you okay there?"
Millie stood up and whirled around, Loona flinching back with her hands up.
"What're you doing sittin' there?! The boys are in trouble! Open it again!"
Loona stood with her arms folded. Her red eyes narrowed. "Blitz was using a total of zero euphemisms, innuendos, or swears. That means it was serious." She crossed her arms in the air and leaned in close in annoyance. "Which means I don't open it until…"
Lily spat while grabbing Loona's shirt and lifting her up, "I fucking get it! The sex jokes are the backbone of this whole show! Just you wait; there will be more! Open the fucking portal now!"
"Let me finish. I don't open it until we've prepared the rescue kits Lobo asked to prepare in case something like this occurred. Creepily enough, Blitzo agreed with him, and helped him plan on what we should carry with some help from your fat husband", said Loona shushing Lily, "Maddie! Get the kits!"
Loona then opened an old backpack labeled "Blitzo's Emergen-C Bag" with the I.M.P. logo on it. With a war-like look on her face, Millie twirled a giant black double-bladed ax in the air with the I.M.P. symbol in the center. Lily checks her Mp5 making sure it prime and ready to go. Loona transformed into her human disguise before muttering a spell from the grimoire.
The portal opened once more into the night air on Earth. Millie and Lily crouched into a fighting pose, then gasped. "They aren't here!" Tears fell from her eyes again, body going slack. Loona stepped through the opening. The hellhound lifted both Millie and Lily up with both hands and sniffed the ground.
"It smells like they went this way," she said. "Come on, let's find the dumbass twins and Lobo!" Loona then turns to Matilda. "Please bring them back safely, you three. I'll go make some calls", said Matilda on the other side of the portal.
"You got it babe", said Loona reassuringly closing the portal. Loona hoisted Millie and Lily onto her back, ax in her other hand. Millie smiled at Loona then at Lily, glad to be back as a team. They raced down the alley into the night.
Soon enough, they found the white-bricked building. "D.H.O.R.K.S." was labeled on a large sign and a spotlight rotated from the roof. Four security cameras were in a row over the double doors. Two male agents with suits, dark glasses and spears stood guard on either side. The two females peered from behind the side of the building near a fence.
"This is where they ended up?" Millie whispered.
"I think so," Loona replied. "Fuck, this looks intense." They both leaned against the wall, Millie and Lily on Loona's back. "How are we gonna get in?"
Millie glanced upward and noticed a vent she turned to Lily and pointed up. Lily got the message and poked Loona on the shoulder and pointed up. "Lift us up to that vent!"
Loona lifted up her arms as Millie and Lily twirled around it, balancing on Loona's hand. Millie tore off the vent cover and dove inside along with Lily. Moments later, Millie pushed open the door, standing on the long handle and holding it for Loona.
The Trio raced down the hall, Millie and Lily is on Loona's shoulders once again. The hallways were metal and bleak, with fluorescent rectangular lights and long pipes on the ceiling. They crept past two other agent guards who were facing the other way, hands on their sheathed swords.
Another agent spotted them running down the hall from a camera screen and spit out his coffee in surprise. As he slammed his fist on a red button, the alarm blared. His comrade glared at him with coffee all over his face.
Lil, Millie and Loona skidded to a stop as more agents appeared. One held a pike connected to a chain, a kusarigama. Another spun two blades from chained handles and a third had X-Men-like metal claws from his hands. A sign up above reads "spicy wires." Another sign read "Days until last incident."
An agent darted toward them with a long pole spear and they dodged it by ducking. With a leap, Loona turned around and sliced the agent's right leg off with Millie's battle ax and threw back at Millie. Lily shot the agent several times and he fell dead. Millie spun her ax in the air, hitting another agent through the head. She raced up his body to retrieve her weapon before another agent prepared to attack with her naginata sword.
Whoosh!
Millie jumped up to dodge the blow and arched downward with her weapon, slicing the female agent clean in half.
With a drop-kick, Loona landed with her legs spread out before jumping over another agent wielding a kusarigama in an arch. In the blink of an eye, Loona ducked to avoid the pike twirled by another agent with earbuds. The chained weapon instead gutted a fellow agent in the head, the first agent shocked. Before he could blink, Millie had jumped onto his face and promptly snapped his neck. Millie balanced on the pole of her ax before racing forward with Loona and Lily toward more agents.
Another agent looked to his comrade, his look ordering him to close the metal door. The three agents took out black throwing stars, three in each hand and threw them at the trio. Loona dodged them as she ran, holding Millie and Lily by the hand.
"Throw us!" called Millie.
With a grunt, Loona tossed Millie and Lily forward, the imp holding onto her weapon with both hands. With Lily holding onto her Mp5. Both imps yelled as they were tossed forward, landing on the floor and doing several forward rolls. The metal door labeled "caution, blast danger" closed, Millie and Lily making it through. Slashes, Gunfire and screams were heard before the door opened. Millie and Lily stood proudly, the walls, ceiling and floor stained with red blood splatters. A sign labeled "out of order," hung on an un-working red emergency light. Another sign read "Attention: No magicians permitted," while another showed "Shrek 2," with an ogre drawing.
"Damn," said Loona, impressed as she walked forward. "You're both pretty agile for an old ladies Loona said jokingly
"We're like five years older than you," Millie deadpanned and Lily giggled a little.
Lily, Loona and Millie arrived at a keypad. They noticed that the "1" button was worn down.
"Try 'one,'" said Millie.
Loona pressed "1" five times and the double doors opened. There was a desk with a computer and a potted plant and a sign labeled "D.H.O.R.K.S." at the top. The trio shared a look and raced in as the doors closed.
0 0 0
Interrogation
Moxxie slowly opened his eyes, his consciousness returning. With his yellow eyes fully open, he looked around. He was in a darkened windowless room. He gasped when he saw he was tied up in a folded chair with Lobo at his side and Blitzo on his back.
Each of their tails were intertwined together, and tied up to a large steel ball. Pipes snaked along the ceiling and an overhead light shone on the pair of imps.
A light suddenly shone in Moxxie's face, the imp squinting his eyes shut.
"Finally awake, huh, little fella?" smirked Agent Two, getting close to Moxxie's face. "Your partners has been for a while now."
Moxxie glanced at Blitzo from behind him. Both of their long imp tails were chained to a metal ball on the floor.
"Look, shitbag, it takes a lot to keep me down, alright?" Blitzo deadpanned. "I took a fuck ton of tranquilizers in the college I dropped out of." He smirked. "Also I've been strapped nipple-first to a car battery so I-oh okay…"
Agent One angrily shone a light into Blitzo's face. "Tell us, demon scum," Agent One integrated in an intimidating voice. "Who do you work for? Satan?"
Agent Two took the light from Agent One and shone it at Moxxie. "How did you get to our world from the afterlife?"
Agent Three took back the light and asked Blitzo, "Why are you killing humans?"
Agent Two snatched the light back from him. "When did you show up here?" when they all heard a soft groaning sound coming from the third demon in the room.
Groan "Uh, mi cabeza me está matando, se siente como si alguien me hubiera golpeado el cerebro con un bate de metal. ¿Qué carajo acaba de pasar ahora?" (Uh, my head is killing me, it feels like someone hit my brain with a metal bat. What the fuck just happened now?) groaned Lobo, feeling woozy and nauseous.
"What did he say? Is that some kind of evil demon language?" asked Agent Two.
"How the fuck should I know? I can barely understand him when he goes into dog mode." Blitzo said
"To be fair sir, you do push him into it", groaned Moxxie slowly regaining his composure.
Groan "la cubeta", muttered Lobo said disoriented.
"Hey Lobo, speak English so these fuckers can stop asking me about your shit", said Blitzo.
"La cubeta", groaned Lobo again.
"La cubeta, is that a name?" asked Moxxie confusingly.
"It sounds like he's saying-"
"Bucket!" yelled Agent Three interrupting Moxxie. She quickly grabbed a bucket just as Lobo launched himself forward vomiting into the bucket.
Agent Three grimaces in disgust just as Lobo kept vomiting into the bucket resisting the urge to throw-up as well. But she actually felt bad for him for some reason and sorry for shooting that many tranquilizers at him. She kept holding on until Lobo slowly leaned back feeling slightly better as he groaned out loud while the three remaining beings could only stare in shock at what transpired.
"Gracias", moaned Lobo"
"Wow, Lobo, you're a real lightweight when it comes to tranquilizers", commented Blitzo.
"Shut it. I haven't had a hangover this bad since I went to one of the hellhound parties Beelzebub threw. God this sucks." Lobo heaved as tries to get his bearings back.
"Is that what he said? It didn't sound like how you normally sound", said Moxxie partially understanding Lobo.
"We're asking the questions around here!" said Agent Two.
Blitzo closed his eyes in annoyance. The light was back in the usual overhead position."Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there, bitch. First of all, we just woke up from a very nasty shock and I'm still feeling fuckin' woozy…as you may have noticed by my Hellhound friend there who threw up a shit ton of puke", said Blitzo motioning to Lobo.
"I am so sorry about that", burped Lobo, still recovering from the tranquilizer.
"So I'm gonna request you fetch us some coffee before we get into this. I mean, everyone gets coffee in shitty movies with scenes like this, am I right? I want something iced, bitch. Mox? Lobo?
Moxxie grinned too, happy to play along and annoy them longer. "I'll have a Neapolitan cappuccino more cappu than cino, make sure it's got no more than four ounces of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup. They always put 'Foxy,' or 'Roxy,' I hate that."
The two Agents stared dumbfounded at Moxxie. Even Blitzo thought Moxxie was going a bit overboard.
Moxxie continued, "If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto. Please use soy milk with two blonde shots, Affogato and Ristretto! I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, then…"
"Enough!" bellowed Agent One, arms up in frustration. He waved a finger at Blitzo. "We aren't getting youse coffee!"
"Moxxie you are a barista's worst nightmare." Lobo said as he looked at his friend with deadpanned look.
"Wow, I was getting massive douche chills just there, Mox. Congrats." Moxxie grinned mischievously at Blitzo before Agent Two leaned in.
"If we have to, we are willing to resort to torture methods to get answers out of you nasty hell beasts!" She clenched her fist.
Moxxie said, "When you say 'tortured,' you mean physical or psychological? Physical seems counterproductive. We would likely tell you anything if it meant an end to the pain, and you would have no way of knowing what was true."
"And psychology would be more of a trial-and-error basis since you don't exactly know what our fears are, or our psychological profiles for that matter. Really there's a lot of variables in that, and it could take a long time depending on our mental strength, as well as both your mental states if you want to any viable information out of us", Lobo said
Blitzo smirked. "Or we may like it too much, and then you have a whole new thing to deal with!"
Agent One pointed at Blitzo in suspicion. "What do you mean by that?"
"Oh, you're stupid, huh?" Blitzo mocked. "I could work with stupid…daddy likey dummy!"
Agent One flinched back in disgust as Moxxie tried in vain to hold back his laughter, one of his cloven hooves in the air. He then stomped his feet on the ground, tears in his eyes. Both imps laughed as the two agents seethed in the darkness.
"Good one sir, daddy likey…"
"You better stop laughing at us!" warned Agent Two.
Agent Three noticed Lobo was looking confused, "Why aren't you laughing'?"
"Was I supposed to?" asked a confused Lobo, "I mean this guy kind of goes after a lot of things and…well let's just say things can get really weird with him."
"You're kidding…right?" asked Agent Three.
"Afraid not", mumbled Lobo shruggedhis shoulders.
"Unfortunately", said Moxxie in agreement.
"Wow, you two fuckers are just full of shit", said Blitzo rolling his eyes, "These morons got nothin'."
"Well I wouldn't say that. I mean, they did catch us off-guard", said Lobo.
"Yeah! You're the ones at our mercy!" said Agent One roughly grabbing Blitzo's collar.
"It's hard to resist, I'm really sorry, I mean considering your approach thus far, you've had us tight here, for what, hours?" Moxxie pointed out as Lobo agreed with him. "And you haven't even had us confirm what exactly we are!"
"What are you?" asked Agent Two, curious.
"I'm a Virgo!" Moxxie retorted. Blitzo burst into laughter, long tongue out, his head upside down.
"You are? I thought you were a Libra", said a surprised Lobo.
"It was a leap year, so you have to add one extra day when counting back-"
Agent One let go of Blitzo. "Oh, a smart guy, eh?"
"One more quip out of you and we'll shut you up!" warned Agent Two.
Blitzo smirked again. "Ohh, getting kinky!"
The disgusted agents recoiled in horror, stepping back against the wall with their hands out. Though Agent Three stares at Lobo and is memorized by his handsome look, she stares at his body. She can tell how muscular he is.
Suddenly blushes at the imaginary scenarios that are running through her head but then shakes her head. Agent One exclaimed, "What?! We ain't playing any of your vile demon games!"
Blitzo grinned. "I mean, that's what it sounds like back there! You sickos!"
"Please don't give them ideas, sir!" Moxxie added with a playful grin.
Blitzo said, "Why not? I know the shit you're into!" Moxxie looked embarrassed.
"Stop!" yelled Agent One, leaning toward Moxxie. "Argh! We are not getting kinky with youse!"
Agent Two pulled her angry colleague back. "Calm down, One! Don't let these monsters get to you!"
"Well that's rude. I haven't even said anything", said Lobo.
"Yeah?! How do we know that the vomit thing wasn't some demon tactic like in that one particular movie huh?!" asked Two near Lobo's face.
"You do know that you can't believe everything that goes on in a movie right?" asked a confused Lobo, "Also I don't do drugs. Why would I? It's bad for you, and it impedes testosterone. Even those testosterone pills impede your growth."
"Really?" asked One earning a questioning look from Two and Three, Ahem "I mean, your tricks won't work on us! Right Two, Three?"
Agent One paced with clenched fists.
"Hey," called Blitzo, "Aren't we gonna get our phone call, bitch?"
Agent One lowered to Blitzo's level slightly and this time had an idea. "Well, that entirely depends…who are you gonna call, hmm?"
"Your fat mom, thanking her for a fat time!"
"Nice try, demon!" called Agent Three, "His fat mom…" she barked leaning forward, "…is dead!" Agent One burst into sobs in his arm. Blitzo did a blep look.
"Stop insultin' my mother! She's dead!" Agent One cried. Agent Two patted him on the shoulder. "Hey, hey, let's just leave them here until they feel like talking." Agent Two guided Agent One and Three filled them toward the door and both of them left the room. The door closed behind them.
As soon as they were alone, Blitzo struggled in vain to free himself. He sighed. "Don't worry, Mox. If we keep being obnoxious, they'll eventually slip up and we'll get a chance to get out. Let's just keep fucking with them until they get so frustrated, they stop thinking clearly. It usually works."
"Wait, so you weren't just acting like your usual self?" asked a genuinely confused Lobo, making Blitzo stare at him with a deadpan expression again.
Prep Room
From inside another room with control buttons, the three agents listened in on the imps and hound.
"Hmm," said Agent One. "So the demons want to play games, huh?" The two agents shared a look. Agent One said, "Well we could play games!" They smirked and Agent Two raised her arm. With her fist, she punched on a glowing green button labeled "Truth Bomb," between the "Bitch Juice" and Haha Gas" buttons. "Yeah," she added with a snicker.
Interrogation Room
Back in the other room, Moxxie lowered his head. "I'm just worried about Lily; she'll be on her way by now. I'm sure."
"Ugh she'll be fine, Moxxie," said Blitzo. "It would take a roided-up hippo to take down that woman when she's upset."
"We've never dealt with the human government before! She's in danger!"
As green smoke and fumes poured in, Blitzo suddenly barked, "Do you ever honestly shut up about Lily?! It's always…" He had big wide eyes, "'Oh, how's Lily?' 'I can't tonight, I'm hanging with Lily.' 'I'm so worried about Lily.'" He then lifted his head with regular eyes, teeth barred, "And she's always five fucking feet away from you! It's pathetic."
Moxxie raised his eyebrows. "That…was oddly personal."
Blitzo's eyes widened. "You know what, you're right. I don't know why the fuck I let my guts spill like that."
Moxxie then noticed the green fumes in the room, legs kicking the air. "Sir! They're filling this room with something!"
Blitzo sniffed. "Fuck! The hell is this?! Lobo, use your powers to get this toxic shit out of here or teleport us out of here!" yelled Blitzo.
"I think it's some kind of airborne truth-telling serum." Moxxie said
"Oh you just guess that's what it is?"
"Well, uh, just ask me something specific I wouldn't normally tell you?"
"Okay, uh, does Lily ever peg you?"
"Sometimes," Moxxie admitted with a goofy grin then, froze. "Wait!" He coughed. "Ew, fuck! Why that?!"
"Wow…okay…guess that answers both questions", said Lobo.
Chuckle "I knew it. I just wanted to hear him admit it", chuckled Blitzo.
Moxxie fumed. "Well your suit is tacky! Fuck, I'm sorry."
"It really is. I'm not sorry", muttered Lobo in a deadpan voice.
GASP "How fuckin' dare you! Both of you! Well, you have shitty taste in music!" said Blitzo looking at Moxxie, "And you are a little bitch that follows orders from his owners whenever they bark order him! I'm sorry!" said Blitzo to Lobo quickly apologizing after realizing what he just blurted out.
"Shitty taste? You said you liked that musical I recommended to you!" said Moxxie.
"Bitch Boy?! I may be a mutt that takes orders from the rich! But there's no way in hell am I ever gonna take that from some rodeo clown, assassin wanna-be. Fuck, that was crossing the line", said Lobo realizing what he just blurted out.
"I lied," Blitzo admitted. "I left halfway through!" And I really didn't like Lobo at first when he caught me stealing the book! But since he started dating my Loonie Toonie, it just pissed me off so much that I needed to get back at him!"
"Now I know how Verosika feels", grumbled Lobo angrily.
Tears were in Moxxie's eyes. "You-you said you loved it!"
Blitzo wailed. "It was awful, Moxxie! It was about ugly horny cats!"
Both imps bawled out loud, their heads back.
"Oh god Moxxie, I've said so many lies to you!"
Back in the control room, the two agents laughed. "This is gonna be a good night!" said Agent Two with a chuckle to Agent One.
"Dammit Moxxie, this is all your fault!" Blitzo barked.
"How is this my fault?!" Moxxie asked.
The two imps and Hellhound then experienced different hallucinations. The three agents watched with glee at the drooling, stoned imps and hound. Agent Two ate popcorn and Agent One drank a soda and three was drinking tea.
0 0 0
Moxxie Hallucination
Before his glazed eyes, Moxxie saw clouds part in front of him. He stood up from his chair and saw that he was in outer space. Soft wind was heard. There appeared to be white Greek pillars in the distance. He wandered through the moving clouds in wonder.
"Blitzo!" Moxxie called before coughing. "I-I can't see you!" Then he scrunched up his face. "God, this smells awful!"
He glanced down and saw he had on a different outfit; a dark gray tuxedo shirt with a black bow tie, a white cloth hanging underneath it, white buttons down the front and white rimmed sleeves. He also wore dress pants.
Organ music played in the distance and Moxxie felt like he was part of some transcendental opera.
"What's that music?" Moxxie asked, looking around, pointing his finger. "Is that you? Is this a prank? Because I swear to Satan…"
"It is no prank, bitch!" an accented voice declared from behind him.
"Hey!" Moxxie yelled, turning around. "Why do you sound like that?"
"Because you, my precious little bitch boy…"
"Stop it, sir!"
"…are tripping balls!"
To Moxxie's astonishment, he appeared to be on a hovering rock structure in the middle of space. Rock slabs hovered in place in midair. Curved white stairs were flanked on all sides by rows of lit white candles, also held only by hovering cliffs. The stairs and candles led to a gleaming golden giant organ at the very top, flanked by teal curtains. It gave off a magical Disney-esque feel that only Moxxie's mind and gas could conjure.
And sitting down at the organ was none other than Blitzo, dressed like the Phantom of the Opera. He wore a dark elegant cape with a high pointed collar and a white mask over his right red eye. In place of his birthmark on his forehead was a black broken heart. It was very bizarre for Moxxie to see his boss as the star of his all-time favorite musical.
A spotlight shone on Moxxie, causing him to flinch at the brightness.
Moxxie grabbed a candelabra out of nowhere and hopped up the stairs. The spotlight followed his movements.
"No, what, how could this be?" he asked in song.
"I've never tried acid trips or DMT
It's a bad trip, Oy Gevalt! (oh God!)
Of course, Blitz, this would be your fault!
My lungs are full of honesty
Would you promise me
That you won't judge me?"
"Yes bitch!" Blitzo replied in a long note, dramatically pressing his fingers to the keys.
"Not trying to divulge too much," Moxxie sang again,
"But I'm in too deep
So first of all…
Fuck you!"
He angrily pointed at Blitzo as his boss did an alto "What?"
"This is just typical, well two can play at that game of dismay," Moxxie chanted fast as he walked up the stairs. White candle wax dripped down from the candle surfaces.
"Because if you're here causing frustration
I'm torturing you and your hallucination!"
Moxxie sang, "Why do you hurt me so?"
Blitzo sang beside him, "I know…"
Moxxie asked, "Why must you push all your friends away?" as Blitzo harmonized, "I push all my friends away."
Moxxie raced up the stairs and then rapped/talked fast in sing, "Why does it seem like a recurring thing that you alienate with your toxic routine?"
"I don't know, eventually everyone goes!" Blitzo answered.
"Because you're thoughtless and cruel and you'll end up alone!" Moxxie answered.
Blitzo's red eye flashed in pain and shock.
"Why, Moxxie why," Blitzo melodized in a low long note. "…have you held your true feelings inside?"
Moxxie placed the candelabra on a white clothed table and sighed.
"I am scared of rejection."
"Why, Moxxie, why…do you have Lily put it in your butt?"
"It gives me an erection-Hey!"
"No need to hide, we accept your true feelings, so promise me…" sang Blitzo.
"…that I can do, to be true…" added Moxxie.
"The world is your anus, so peg it with honesty!" Blitzo sang, his head briefly upside down. Moxxie groaned as he reached the top.
"I've been a jackass, it's true," sang Blitzo.
"You've been a jackass, it's true," Moxxie harmonized.
Both imps then bonded over the song, singing a duet as they both sat at the bench. They first sat back to back, heads downcast, but Moxxie soon turned around to face the organ and Blitzo. They harmonized together.
"But soon as we're back as ourselves
I will be a better friend
Than I was before."
Both of them smiled at each other as they both played at the organ. Moxxie soon felt a sense of elation…that perhaps he and Blitzo could get along in time.
"Be better at speaking my miiiiind!
And together we can begin to become
Fiiiine!"
Moxxie sighed dreamily as the fantasy faded to black.
0 0 0
Blitzo Hallucination
The double doors and the room morphed in front of him. He saw a white light, faint hills and what looked like black liquid ink vines dangling from above. Blitzo was sitting in a chair, wearing a white clown suit with two red buttons. Swirling around him were streams of ink colored red, brown, gray and pink. The area was very dim and eerie. Blitzo stumbled out of his chair, almost losing his balance. The red ink shrieked with an open maw and beady eyes before splattering onto Blitzo's face. Blitzo examined his stained hand. He sniffed the substance and licked it. Before he could taste it, the ink being shrieked again, causing him to fall backwards to the ground.
Blitzo turned around on his belly and spotted a figure morph in front of him from black ink. It was Moxxie appearing as a moving drawing.
"I simply following your orders," the doodle drawing exclaimed in a posh accent. "It isn't my fault if your orders are as nonsensical as a sun tanning bed left out on the cold draining porch of a fresh April shower."
Blitzo stood up and glared at doodle Moxxie.
"Why are you talking like that? What the fuck does that even mean?"
The doodle Moxxie shifted back and forth from Moxxie's real face back to the moving sketch. "I am simply speaking Satan's plain English. Perhaps you should crack open a dictionary sometime and then maybe you can understand half of the frivolous things I carry on and on all about…"
Doodle Moxxie talked on and on as the ink spirals circled dangerously above him like hungry liquid vultures.
"Shut up!" Blitzo bellowed at doodle Moxxie.
"In fact, my dear boss, you don't know what you're doing half the time and you depend on me, Lobo and the Misses to manage your foolish flights of fancy!"
Blitzo fumed and dodged brown sludge flying at him. "I don't need you, I can do this shit on my own…so easily!"
Brown ink strands wrapped around Blitzo's neck, choking him and tossing him to the ground. A shadow loomed over him and a grinning brown hued Striker appeared. His eyes were yellow with green circles moving in a hypnotizing pattern.
With an evil grin, Striker spoke in a distorted echo, "But you don't want to do things alone, do ya Blitzo?!"
Brown strands gagged Blitzo again and two of them tossed Blitzo up in the air. A crazed voice cackled in his ear.
"You tried the solo act, it didn't work out so well!"
A black and white cartoon Robo Fizz/Fizzarolli appeared near his face, with big wide eyes, sharp teeth and a snake tongue. "Hahahahaha!" Fizz did a maniacal distorted robotic laugh, before twirling his whole body and tossing Blitzo to the inky ground. He felt brief regret for not staying at the circus and resented the clown for outshining him as a star.
Blitzo coughed up in the filth before the pink ink morphed into Verosika Mayday from behind him. He turned around and saw her crawling toward him on all fours. Her hair was straight and white and she wore a short dark blue dress, white arm gloves and white leggings. Pink slime covered her hair, wings, body, and face, congealing near the bottom of her hair. Her eyes glowed red with yellow sclera with long eyelashes. She had a black heart and dark tear-like makeup on her face.
Blitzo had a pained look on his face as he crawled backwards.
Verosika also spoke with a distorted warped voice. "Yet you still shove away anyone who gets too close until they resent you for being a selfish shitty shit fuck!"
Verosika cupped Blitzo's face hard and her eyes flared with moving white Xs against orange. She bared her sharp teeth. Although they had broken up, Blitzo felt a twang of guilt at his past selfish actions. If he hadn't used Verosika's credit card on horse riding lessons, slept with her casually, made her pay for the hotel room…even if he could have let her have the parking spot…
They had bonded over performing in the circus ages ago. Back when both were working to survive and make a living. Then Verosika grew famous, drunk and stalked humans and other weaker beings with her succubus gang. Over time, both of them grew more selfish and careless. They led vastly different lives, never mind they were two different species.
Blitzo glanced around and shoved Verosika away. He scrambled away from the hallucination images of his rivals. Pushing people away had been a survival mechanism he learned early on. It had started with his stern asshole of a father and remained a part of him to this day.
But…the past was the past…he had to get away from it. Always.
Just then, Blitzo saw a marvelous bizarre sight. A heavenly white staircase with gold decorative handles appeared in a ray of sunlight. Blitzo raced up as fast as he could as his rivals stood and looked on. Black ink stained the stairs and white feathers with golden auras fluttered down.
Blitzo rammed his head into an invisible force as the feathers appeared to make the ink stains vanish in white light up the stairs. Looking up, he saw two shadowy silhouettes of himself and a seated figure. They held fans of large feathers that looked a lot like Stella's head of feathery hair.
"Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" asked an ethereal voice.
The fans parted to reveal Stolas in all his regal horny glory. He was seated on a throne, the back seat of it white with purplish polka dots. A gold crown was on the top of the throne, flanked by golden wing designs. The throne armrests were also golden and in the shape of owl heads. Stolas lounged his long legs on one of the armrests. Stolas looked the same as usual, with his long tattered robe, pointed gold crown and black top hat with two additional red eyes.
Blitzo gasped as Stolas narrowed his eyes in pleasure. As he crawled up the stairs, a floating feather morphed into a golden manacle on his wrist. Another golden manacle appeared on his other wrist. His clothes returned to his normal work outfit. As he stood up and reached the top, he flinched as another golden manacle appeared around his neck. Stolas let out a naughty grin as he pulled Blitzo toward him on a golden chain like a leashed pet.
Stolas pulled Blitzo by his side and into his lap. Stolas had two fingers on Blitzo's chin, Blitzo with an uncertain look on his face.
Stolas was a fallen angel after all, hence the angelic imagery. The owl prince was both a caring figure, a light in his life…but also a horny obsessed tyrant. To Blitzo, Stolas saw him as a sex toy to be used…but also wondered if Stolas truly cared about him. Could Stolas, Loona, Moxxie and Millie be his heaven in hell?
Just then, Moxxie's posh voice echoed again.
"I believe your self-conscience is telling you that you cannot simply fathom proper intimacy, but also crave it well. It's rather unfortunate sir, considering it's often how you treat those who stand by you…such as myself!"
One by one, Blitzo's villain rivals vanished into sludge and departed and the doodle Moxxie morphed in a flash of light…into a princess!
"Are you worried I may have enough of it one day as well?"
Moxxie held up a pink fan and wore a Victorian style periwinkle dress with a pink bow on the front, puffy sleeves and a high collar at the back. His dress sparkled as he strut up the steps with an unimpressed look.
Blitzo had enough. "Stop fucking talking, all of you!"
Moxxie scowled and flipped his fan closed in annoyance. He then vanished away in golden light. Stolas smiled one last time before he too, vanished into golden ink light. The throne and stairs and white plants morphed away as well. Blitzo looked up and saw a hurricane-like spiral of the colorful ink stains in the sky.
"You're going to die alone," Stolas lamented to Blitzo.
"You're gonna die alone!" chanted demonic voices.
The voices echoed and chanted in chilling voices as Blitzo's world turned upside down and inside out. He was surrounded by molten dark gold, the feathers sticking onto him. The spirals swirled tauntingly above him, distorted voices chanting, "You're gonna die alone!" More feathers stuck to him, covering his mouth, restraining him, choking him…suffocating him. The world turned crimson red.
"You're gonna die alone, Blitzo! Hahahaha!"
Blitzo opened his mouth wide, fangs barred in desperation…
…before all went black.
0 0 0
Lobo Hallucination
Lobo slowly opened his eyes and found himself floating in a sea of flames inside of a house, the heat pressing against his skin from all corners. He noticed that he was in his old body when he was younger. He knows where he is; this was his home when he was younger. He bowed his head as if to hide his face, unwilling to accept the reality of the scene before him. Tears streaming down his face, he struggled to make sense of what was happening.
And then, he heard a sound emanating from the fire below him, a voice that he had known all to well. He slowly looked up to find his father standing in the middle of the flames, looking upon him with angry sorrow-filled eyes. His father had always been a proud man so it was hard to see him in such a state.
"It's all your fault, my son," his father said angrily. 'It's your fault that we are here. You were too weak to save us all.'
Lobo shook his head, tears streaming down his face. "No, Father, no!" he exclaimed. "It's not my fault! I-I tried everything I could! I wanted to save y'all please you have to believe me."
But his father's expression remained unchanged. "You are not my son, my son would've saved us," he repeated.
Lobo's tears ran faster as he felt the fire blazing around him, watching as the flames licked at his father's feet. He wanted desperately to reach out and comfort his father but it seemed impossible.
Just then, another voice came from the fire. It was his mother. She stared at him, her face wrapped in anger. "You shouldn't have been born at all," she said. "If you hadn't saved us, none of us would have had to suffer like this. My real son wouldn't be so weak like you. He wouldn't leave us behind like you did." She said
Lobo's tears flowed harder as his mother's words sank in. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was too overwhelmed.
And then he heard a third voice, one that he knew too well. His little sister stood in the flames, her eyes filled with hatred and resentment. "I hate you,'" she spat. "I hate you so much! You promised you would always be there for me but you weren't. You let us all burn. You are not my brother anymore!"
Lobo couldn't take any more. With an anguished cry he shook his head, desperately apologizing that he had tried his best. But the voices around him only got louder and harsher, the flames burning brighter with each passing moment.
Then Octavia, Stella, Stolas, Verosika and then the peoples he cherished began rising from the flames. They all began circling around him calling him weak and useless.
He wanted to run away but couldn't move. He was frozen in place and the fear only kept growing.
He wanted to close his eyes to escape this feeling, only for the spinning to get more intense.
0 0 0
The trio were babbling nonsense still tied up and drooling from the effects of the gas. Agents One and Two were monitoring them, drinking soda and munching on popcorn feeling satisfied with their small revenge before going back to interrogate them. Two drank her soda before letting out a muffled burp as she threw the can into the trash can behind her.
One and Two were discussing what they were planning on how they can get these demons to corporate and get them a comfortable promotion.
Three was staring at Lobo and she can see tears running down his face and can hear snippets of his mumbling "I'm sorry" "I tried" "Please don't leave me". Her heart clenched at his sorrow-filled words she feels like he is reliving a painful situation.
0 0 0
A camera showed Blitzo and Moxxie sitting with their eyes closed. The last of the fumes whiffed away through the vents. The imps' heads began to clear. They slowly opened their eyes, looking sullen with Lobo still remaining unconscious..
"Do you remember what you said to me after my first day with the company?" Moxxie asked Blitzo.
"Not really."
"I remember. You told me I did a good job," said Moxxie. "And that you were proud to work with me. I felt like you wanted to say something more judgmental, but…you said that because I needed it." Moxxie turned his head to look at Blitzo. "And it helped."
Blitzo stared downcast. "Look, I'm hard on you because I know what you're capable of, Mox. You care too much about what everyone thinks except for…me because you know my opinion is correct…"
Moxxie narrowed his eyes.
"…but just keep doing a good job, 'kay? You shoot and kill good. You escape things easily. You can be strategic and cold-blooded when you need to. And don't expect any more compliments. I'm maxed out."
"And…Lobo?" asked Moxxie on his friend's behalf who was still unconscious.
"Lobo here…he's a good guy. Yeah he's a little intimidating But he cares a lot, and I guess that compassion of his has saved our asses several times. I know that if he ever…ever marries my Loonie…he'll do right by her", said Blitzo with small tears in his eyes.
"If he was awake, I'm sure he would be grateful. Thank you, sir", said Moxxie with a small smile.
"You know my name. Use it."
"Thanks, Blitz."
Lobo let out a groan then his binds began to glow with white cracks. His tail started to glow as well causing the iron ball that had all their tails chain up crack as well. Lobo let out a determined grunt and shattered the restraints all at once.
"You could've done that this whole fuckin' time?!" asked an angry Blitzo.
Groan "Going…down", muttered Lobo weakly as he still felt woozy from the effects of the gas.
"Blitzo, I think he couldn't because of the drugs they gave us earlier", said Moxxie helping his friend up.
A crash and loud thud was heard. Millie and Lily crashed through the ceiling, landing on her feet. Moxxie stares with an open mouth. "There's my Lily!" Lily and Millie raced over to the smiling relieved imps and quickly untied them. Lily and Moxxie embraced, touching heads.
"Impressive work, Mils, Lils" Blitzo remarked. "How'd you get here all by yourself?"
Loona then smashed into the room, carrying a battered Agent Two. Blitzo gasped in disbelief, hands on his head.
"Loony?!"
"Blitz, what happened to him?!" asked a concerned Loona.
"Lobo is a real lightweight, that's what! What are you doing here?!" asked a concerned Blitzo.
"Saving your asses so we can get our asses' outta here before more fuckers show up!" yelled Loona helping Lobo stand.
Loona throws Two at One and Three with her hellhound ears popping up from her human disguise as she transforms back into her hellhound form. A wolf howl sound echoes through the room as she jumps down unzipping her backpack. Blitzo and Moxxie pull out guns and cock them while Lobo summons his double-bladed scythe, "Impeccable packing skills as always Moxxie."
"Thanks Lobo", smiled Moxxie.
Moxxie, Lily, Millie and Blitzo grinned as they retrieved extra guns from their backpack. Agent One pressed on a button and an alarm blared. Hordes of agents appeared in the room, all wearing dark suits, glasses and carrying a wide array of weapons. A woman with a throwing star, a bearded man with a hook and chain, a guy with a katana. Soon, I.M.P. was surrounded on all sides. The group posed in a fighting stance, blades, pistols, ax and teeth at the ready.
"Okay," Blitzo called. "I've had one too many emotions for today." He turned to his crew. "Guys, let's fuck these fuckers up!"
Blitzo twirled his flintlock pistol and Moxxie grinned with his two guns. The bearded man made the first move with his kursarigama. In a flash, Loona grabbed the blade in her mouth, yanking the chain hard.
She tossed the bearded man aside before dodging a red haired woman agent with a double bladed spear. With the chain, Loona maneuvered around and sliced the woman's throat. With graceful moves, Loona twirled the chain weapon and wrapped it around another man's neck. She then yanked his head off in a gory mess.
Lobo rushes forward holding the scythe in both hands over his head, and swings in a large arc cutting the weapons in half, he swings in a horizontal arc knocking back some agents, and finally swings in a diagonal arc covering the blade with a bit of his power effectively knocking out the agents with the shock wave.
He saw several agents charging behind him, and twirled himself in midair using the momentum to cut through several other weapons before using the flat side of the blade to knock out the agents. He parried several shuriken being thrown by another agent, and grabbed his arm to use him as a human shield only to be surprised when his comrades killed him just to try to cut him as well.
Millie jumped into the air, twirled her weapon and sliced a guy in half. Another guy with a sword rushed at her, but she sliced off his arms and then his legs. Dodging a star, she raced toward another man with a naginata sword, cutting him in half too. Another head of a man was lost to Millie's ax. Millie laughed like a maniac as she twirled her weapon some more.
Meanwhile, Blitzo, Lily and Moxxie were firing bullets from their respective weapons at the surrounding agents.
"Mox, Lils cover me!" Blitzo called.
"Yes, sir!" Moxxie and Lily replied.
They fired some more and Blitzo held a sharp green dagger in hand, landing on another agent. He twirled in the air and flipped, slashing at an agent.
"Eat my ass!" yelled Blitzo.
At one moment, with his cell phone with a pink "Thot Patrol" on it, Blitzo took a selfie with another agent before ripping off his head. Moxxie beat another agent with his gun. With his sniper rifle, Blitzo fired some more, the shots echoing across the already chaotic space. Blitzo tossed the rifle to Moxxie, who blew up a guy's head and then shot another guy.
Blitzo and Moxxie nodded to each other and then charged again. Blitzo fired from atop Loona's back while Loona karate-kicked another guy with a sword. She leapt forward and gnawed her teeth into his head and throat, shaking him like a wolf shakes its prey. She then tossed the body aside before firing from a lavender gun with a skull on it. "Die, motherfuckers!"
Blitzo stared at her with happy tears in his eyes and embraced her in a hug.
"What?" she asked confused.
"Oh I'm just so damn proud of you, Loony!" Blitzo exclaimed lovingly, nuzzling his face into hers and giving her a kiss on the cheek. Loona seethed and rolled her eyes as Blitzo raced off. "Bye, sweetie!"
Loona grunted loudly in frustration, biting another agent in his head and tossing him through the air, knocking into another agent.
"Watch out!" Loona yelled.
Millie twirled her ax, slicing three agents at the same time. Blitzo waved at Millie and she waved back.
"Hey, Mill!"
"Hiya, Blitz! Just one sec!" she drawled as she fought some more. Millie slid forward and killed four more agents.
"Do you need a gun or anything?" Blitzo asked Millie, holding a rifle.
"Nah, I'm good!" she replied before dashing off to continue her massacre. She tossed a guy in the air and tore him to pieces with a fast spin of her ax. She jumped forward and crushed the neck of a blonde female agent with her powerful legs and thigh.
"How about some water?" Blitzo asked as Millie choked the life out of the blonde woman.
"Sure!" Millie replied cheerfully, opening her mouth. From a small bottle, Blitzo poured water into her mouth and she swallowed in satisfaction. She broke the neck of the woman and the head fell off.
"Thanks, Blitz!"
Blitzo patted her on the head. "No problemy, Millie-Billie!" Blitzo said before rushing over to Lobo.
Lobo sliced several agent's hands off to force them to drop their weapons, before twirling himself to dodge a spear, and sliced it in half with his scythe. He grabbed the agent's neck, hoisting him in midair, and threw him at a group of other agents.
He dropped down sweeping his leg to trip another agent, before Blitzo appeared shooting him in the face and several more agents surrounding him before he clocked it, and threw it to Lobo as he threw his scythe to him.
Lobo twisted the shotgun hitting an agent against his head, clocked it against his neck, and shot a female agent behind him effectively destroying several shuriken thrown at him and hitting her legs to knock her down.
Blitzo sliced off several agent's heads, twirled himself in mid to slice another agent's ankles, and struck the blade up to slice him in half, before using his tail to trip a female agent to fall down on the blade.
He kicked off the corpse before jumping on top of Lobo, and swung down to vertically decapitate another agent in half, and cut the Achilles of the agents in front of Lobo, "Huh, Ya know, I can see why you like these kinds of swords now. But nothing beats a gun", said Blitzo trading weapons once again as he shot several agents behind him.
Lobo kicked an agent behind him before slicking off some tendons to prevent them from getting up before he sheathed the sword and got into a runner stance. Another agent saw this and mimicked his actions before both charged at each other. The agent's hands flew off with his sword as he fell to his knees in agony. Before Lobo sliced his head off then whipped the blood off his blade.
Blitzo let out a sinister grin, two guns posed and said in a low demonic voice to the agents, "Now who wants some quality time with daddy?"
Blitzo rushed forward, jumped onto an agent and fired from both guns at the same time. He shot off all their heads and then the head of the agent he was on. He did a graceful double flip in the air, shooting two agents in midair before doing a graceful landing.
Whack!
One fatal hit from a baseball bat from Blitzo to an agent's core knocked him dead.
"Fore!"
With a grin, he smacked a bomb with the bat like a baseball, watching several agents explode in the distance.
Agents One, Two and Three attempted to outrun the chaos together before a body landed in front of them, and his weapon afterwards pierced his chest. The two looked behind them to see Lobo hitting several agents with the flat of the blade only to be blocked by several other agents locking weapons with him.
"Why, God, why are we only using weapons from Japan's Edo Period?!" asked Agent One.
"Hey, the Edo Period was badass and you know it!" Agent Two remarked, grabbing him by his suit.
"Damn it, you're right!"
"Look out!" cried Agent Three, as she pulled them both to the floor.
The three of them crouched down on their bellies, inching away from the battle as I.M.P. fought. They shared a look and inched forward with their elbows. They flinched in disgust as a head rolled in front of them. They saw Millie grinning evilly after cutting off another head.
They flinched as two arms and two legs flew in the air. Moxxie kicked another guy, yelling "Bitches!" before shooting three more atop a pile of bodies. He did warrior yells before Blitzo appeared. Moxxie did another scream of surprise. His weapon fell from his hands and shot an agent in the groin.
"Hey Mox!" Blitzo called. He looked.
"Oh wow, really going for the dick there, ain't'cha?" Blitzo asked. "Here, I got it for ya!" Blitzo sliced the agent's penis with a knife. He handed Moxxie the backpack. "Now hold this."
After rummaging through, Blitzo pulled out a large dark rocket launcher with the words "My Dick" on it.
"Oh yeah! Getting hard holdin' this motherfucker! Hahaha!"
The rocket fired, shooting a pink torpedo with an evil grin that read "Pussy Destroyer" on it.
Ka- Boom!
The torpedo exploded, taking out five more agents. The room filled with dark smothering smoke and the metallic scent of blood was overpowering.
"Oh crumbs! Is everyone okay?" called Moxxie.
Blitzo stepped onto Moxxie and cheered, arms in the air. "Woooo! How's that for demon scum?!"
A broken screen monitor only showed shards of glass at the top stained with blood. A drop fell to the ground. Behind the counter, Agent Two and Three nodded at Agent One. Agent One slammed his fist against a red button under a "Red Button" label. The glass broke and the button glowed red. An alarm blared and the rooms turned an eerie red. The glass light on the wall flashed red, on and off.
"Oh shit! C'mon on, fam, let's blow this cock-iscle joint!" Blitzo called.
Moxxie and Lily smiled lovingly at each other again before following Blitzo. Loona raced ahead before ramming into two double doors that automatically closed. Her wide-eyed face was visible through the door hole. Loona screamed "Hey!" as a metal grate slammed down.
Then a metal door slammed shut, and then two slots locked in another opening and a bunch of red security lasers appeared and finally, two restroom doors closed with "vacant" turning to "occupied" on the handle and labels of men and women with fancy hairdos.
Moxxie banged on the door. "Quick! The book!" he called to Loona. Loona growled and squinted. Lobo tries to illuminate the room with his power, but his magic keeps shorting out, blinding him temporarily.
"Shit! I can't…I can't read the spell in this light. I can't see dick! And Lobo's powers are still going haywire because of the drugs in his system!" said Loona.
For the first time, Loona and the others had fearful looks on their faces.
"Well shit! Looks like we milked this weapon dick dry and now we're out of badassery." Blitzo groaned.
"Ha! You demons aren't going anywhere now!" Agent Two laughed as she and Agent One aimed their guns. The crew growled at them as Lobo steps in front of the to provide protection.
"Ah!"
Suddenly, multi-eyed shadows growled and appeared high on the wall. It appeared to morph from Blitzo's and Lobo's shadow. The agents lowered their weapons and glanced around. Two screen fuzzed to static near them, showing a grainy image of something plowing through the metal door. The screen shook then clicked off. A pair of glowing red eyes and pinkish-red appeared in the screen reflection.
One by one, the screens snapped off from the pipes and wires, crashing to the floor. A chilling voice whispered…
"Who dares threaten my impish little plaything?" The male voice said.
"Who dares to hurt my love" said the female voice.
"Who said that?!" Agent One demanded, aiming his gun at the ceiling.
Faint bird prints appeared on the linoleum tile floor, near I.M.P. Agent One aimed his weapon but a screen crashed into his head, knocking him down. He glanced over at Agent Two and Three, who stood in a very strange manner. They were moving their heads rapidly from side to side, their arms slacking at her sides.
"Agent Two? Three?" he quavered in fear.
Their face was contorted in pain, their mouth open in an angular shape. Their hands cupped their cheeks and their eyes were wide with red irises. Behind them, were the bodies of other agents rose, their eyes sunken black, faces blank. Agent One extended a shaking hand toward them…
They whirled around and Agent One screamed as he flinched back. Their eyes took up much of their face and they bore a wide sinister grin with sharp white teeth. Veins popped out on their skin and eyes. They cracked their neck a few times.
"What's the matter, demon hunter? Never seen real demons before?"
The male and female voice said.
Their voices were intermingled with a darker voice and appeared to be distorted. As Agent Two and Three let out a demonic laugh, Agent One noticed the mindless agent bodies, eyes black and empty, drawing Stolas' sigil in their red blood around their feet. They were creating it at breath-taking speed. Before long, Agent Two and Three fell to their knees and a gush of black energy rose from their mouths. Agent Two, and Three now free from the possession, coughed, black liquid around their mouth. Their eyes were wide in fear as they gasped at the horrific sight before them. Feathers fell around them.
Blitzo and the others watched as two huge shadowy birds slowly rose over them, dark feathers dripping red. Their body was interlaced with what appeared to be red and pink liquid energy that merged with its body like lava. Two pair of demonic red and pinkish-red eyes stared back at them, while their mouth displayed a gaping beak with five sharp claw-like appendages on either side of it.
The Three agents cowered together in fear on their knees as the towering demon owl beasts roared at them with a terrible screech. They covered their eyes as the monster showed four glowing red eyes on its face and a gaping open mouth with little sharp teeth on the sides. Its feathery body was silhouetted in the crimson light, as was its talon feet. The feminine one was the same but with a pinkish-red outline.
With a swoop, the beasts diminished in size, twirling in a spiral until revealing the angry four eyed regal figure of Stolas and Octavia. They glared down at the cowering agents before turning on their heels. Stolas pushed a button and all the doors unlocked, the red light fading.
Stolas walked over to the group, his eyes glowing under the flickering fluorescent light. His face was in shadow before a light revealed it.
"Stolas?!" gasped Blitzo in disbelief. "Wha-h hold on, how did you know we needed help?"
Stolas smiled and lowered to Blitzo's level. "I have my ways, darling," he mused. He cupped Blitzo's cheeks gently. "Are you alright?"
"Ugh, I'm fine, Stolas," Blitzo muttered.
Stolas pat his head. "Mm. Good."
Lobo walks to Octavia, his mind still haunted by the truth gas that he inhaled. He reached out for Octavia and gave a hug trying to calm his emotions. Octavia who can feel her love who is hurt and tries to comfort him.
"Is everything alright my Love you seem troubled. Have they done something to you." She said as she glared at the three agents as they squealed in fright at her blazing glare.
Lobo chuckles before shaking his head "No my love but I will tell you everything when we get home." He says as he gives her a kiss.
Then Stolas roughly grabbed Blitzo's cheek, eyes blaring in anger. "How the fuck did you get caught by humans?!" He then stepped back and addressed the crew. "Are you little creatures not being careful up here?" He booped Blitzo in the nose. "You know, if you get in trouble, I get in trouble. We don't want that!" He pinched Blitzo's cheek hard and he glared.
"They caught us off guard, your highness!" Moxxie exclaimed.
"Yeah, you can unclench your bird-puss, Stolas, it's not gonna happen again, okay?" Blitzo remarked.
"Luckily for you, most don't believe the word of the demon-obsessed lunatics," Stolas mentioned. He bent down toward the shaking agents in the corner. "They are seen as kooks!"
Stolas stood up and giggled. "Kooks! Such a silly word."
Stolas clapped his hands. "Now! Let us all return!" He spread his hands as if opening a curtain and blue light appeared around a portal. The I.M.P. office lay before them with Matilda waving at them.
"Yes please!" Moxxie said. "I'd like to get back to the correct hellhole as soon as possible."
Moxxie then glanced back at the cowardly agents and a look of concern came to his face.
"Wait...don't you guys think we should kill off those agents first? Or at least wipe the camera feed?"
"Nah," said Blitzo. "We won that fight."
"Seriously! Why are they still there?! We'll get in trouble once humans know about our existence…"
"Come on, Honey!" Lily called, dragging the protesting imp through the portal by his hand. Stolas, indeed figured that the three agents were not worth his time…but Blitzo certainly was.
Loona carried the grimoire as she walks through the portal. Stolas scooped up Blitzo in his arms before he could walk further.
"Am I going to get any thank you for the rescue, Blitzy?" Stolas asked.
"Well, I suppose you should. Want me to fuck your brains out tonight?" Blitzo replied.
Stolas beamed, eyes briefly closed in bliss. "Very much so."
"Alright," said Blitzo with a chuckle, caressing Stolas' head. "But you're keeping quiet or I'm using those bear traps!"
He ran a slow finger down Stolas' feathery neck and the owl prince shivered and sighed in delight. His face was beat red as he said in lust, "Oh, please do." Blitzo and Stolas then merged their mouths together, their long tongues intersecting and dancing in a passionate French-kiss.
Lobo shakes his head as loops his arm with Octavia and Milie jumps on his shoulder and the three walk through the portal.
The three agents stood and stared in disbelief as the portal closed and the blue light vanished, a blue compass symbol blinking away.
"So what now?" asked Agent Two.
"What now?!" Agent One beamed with his hands out. "We finally got the evidence we needed to be taken seriously!"
With a swoop of his hand, he cleared a space in front of him. Among the ruined bloodstained pipes, he typed rapidly on a keyboard. Four camera screens lit up after static appeared. The first one showed Blitzo and Moxxie fighting the agents, the second one displayed Millie fighting with her ax along with Lobo. The third showed Loona and Lily fighting a guy with a curved sword and the fourth showed in red, Stolas and Octavia appearing in their demon form, the agents cowering.
Under the flickering rectangular ceiling light, the two agents smiled and put on their sunglasses at the same time.
Agent One paused the screens, showing the faces of a smiling Blitzo, Moxxie, Lobo with his Scythe, Millie with an ax, Lily with her Mp5, Loona with teeth barred and a regal Stolas and Octavia in battle. The screens faded as "no signal" appeared on them in green.
"Nobody in the corporation is ignoring this," said Agent One before letting out a dark evil laugh. Then Agent Three picked up a rifle and shot the main pc destroying the evidence.
Agent One looks at her angry "What the fuck Agent Three! Why did you do that ?" He said then Agent Three looked at him confusingly "Why are you yelling at me? What happened?" Then Agent Two walks towards her.
"You don't remember what just happened." She said as Three shook her head "No I don't I remember that One was talking then my mind went blank." She said as One and Two looked at her then talked on their next move. She didn't know why she did it but if she ever meets Lobo again maybe he can answer her questions.