Chapter 14: Nurse Daisy is hot, ... like: really hot! ... for a MILF, that is.

Warning: the callousness and cruelty of youth.

I met Michael Burnham on the mess deck. It was her lunch-break, too.

"Michael Burnham," I greeted her.

Michael Burnham gave me the once-over. "Accessorizing, I see. Are you hiding your phasers in that satchel?"

Suddenly, I felt naked, realizing that I was unarmed.

"I haven't been returned to duty yet," I informed her.

She nodded. "If it were up to me, you'd be confined to quarters in a deep healing trance for a week."

"A week," I marveled. "How lenient."

Michael Burnham picked up a tray and judged the vegetarian dishes. She chose a rice-dish this time.

Rice. I could quarter some herd animal, boil it into a stew and top the rice with that if I were back on Hellguard. Ah! The good, old days when we murdered each other over scraps of clothes, food, or access to a stream of fresh water!

I looked at Michael Burnham's choice and chose one for myself. Maybe T'Sil would like a rice dish? Maybe we could share? It was a curried cheese dish, so there was some variety on the mess deck after all. I understood the red sauces were the one that had a taste to them other than sugar, so I poured it on the serving.

"You want to go easy with that hot sauce," Michael Burnham cautioned.

"The sauce is hot?" I asked.

"Mm," she replied.

She couldn't mean hot as in temperature-wise, but it being spicy?

I lamented food that had taste to it, like on the D'Kyr.

"I need your help, Michael Burnham," I said as we progressed through the queue.

"That's a change," she shot back.

I ignored the barb. "I'm looking for an expert in gene therapies, particularly with respect to xenobiology."

"Our guest still has her little problem?" she surmised.

"The situation has become much more dire for her than when you left this morning," I said.

"Oh?" Michael Burnham replied. She thought for a moment. "The expert, of course, is Nurse Chapel on the USS Enterprise, both for gene therapies and for xenobology. They're considering the intersection of these fields as a doctorate program at the Vulcan Science Academy, specifically designed for her."

The last bit Michael Burnham said without a trace of emotion. I looked at her and her face was placid.

"Smart," I said.

"Yes," she replied. Again: no judgement. "And a war-hero, too."

"Ah," I said. I didn't see the relevance, unless Michael Burnham was comparing herself to this Nurse Chapel, but as I did not know this person, I had nothing to go on.

"I, however, need somebody on this ship with expertise in these fields. Dr. Culber seems ... human-focused, no? I mean: the XO is Kelpien. Do the medical staff just assume human-based medical care applies across the board here?"

Michael Burnham tilted her head. "For the most part. There is one of the staff that is studying Xenobiology, but I don't think she has insight into gene therapies."

"I have to work with what I have. How about you? You're the science officer, right?"

"Hard sciences," she replied. "You're better off going to the medical staff for the biological sciences."

"Mm," I said. "Okay. So, who is this xenobiologist?"

Michael Burnham jerked her chin over to where a bunch of nurses were eating their lunches. I looked. One nurse noticed me, turned white, and suddenly got really interested in her lunch, ducking her head.

I looked over at Michael Burnham. "This is a joke, right?"

Michael Burnham smirked at me.

"Will you join me, or ...?" I began.

"Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world," she replied.

We approach the nurses' table who got silent and sullen when they saw the 'Vulcan contingent' approaching them.

I sat across from Nurse Daisy, the xenobiologist, it turns out, because: of course.

Her face went from white to ashen.

"Hey, Chris, see you back at sick bay?" one of the nurses said, and left the table.

"Yeah, sure," Nurse Daisy said easily, but her heart was beating so loudly, I could hear it from across the table.

And, one by one, the table emptied, leaving me, Michael Burnham, and Nurse Daisy and her yummy, delicious lunch of a tuna fish sandwich, chips, and tea with ice in it.

Why would anybody put frozen water into a non-alcoholic beverage? I mused.

Nurse Daisy glanced up from her sandwich, but wouldn't make eye-contact with me.

"Good thing this isn't awkward, at all, or anything like that, isn't it?" I observed casually.

"Um," Nurse Daisy offered, blushing hard.

How long do I let her marinate in her own sweat? I wondered idly.

My answer to myself was: forever. I could let her suffer, sitting across from me, forever, and eat up her embarrassment like it was curried cheese on rice.

I took a spoonful of said meal and was surprised that it actually had a seasoned taste to it.

All Earther food didn't taste like nitrogenated leaves! I'd have to remember this.

"Look, okay, I'm really sor-..." she began, but at the same time, I said: "Let's move past the unnecessary unpleasantries and ..."

We both looked at each other.

Michael Burnham stretched and took a sip of an orange yoghurt drink called a 'lassi.'

"You go first," Nurse Daisy said.

"Okay," I replied. "I need your help."

"You ... need my help?" Nurse Daisy evinced surprise.

"Yes," I said. "I need you to come back to my quarters and ..."

"Haha, no." Nurse Daisy interrupted firmly. "Hard no, thank you. I don't know what came over me last night, but no way in Hell am I going to repeat that mistake!"

"Huh?" I said, then it dawned on me that she thought I was propositioning her. "No," I said, "that's not what I meant. I need to show you something in private and ..."

Nurse Daisy's eyes went wide. Michael Burnham snickered. Nurse Daisy stood from the table quickly. "Uh, look: I'm super-busy, okay? I have to get back to work. Um, nice talking to you..."

"Nurse Daisy, ..." I began.

"Don't call me that!" she hissed, looking furtively around the mess deck, hoping that every table wasn't laser-focused on our table.

The only Vulcan on the ship, talking to a human? Good luck with that.

I lowered my voice. "Somebody is going to die. It may be that only you can save her. Are you so 'super-busy' that you will forego honoring your pledge to uphold life? Will you let this girl die because you care what you think other people are thinking about you, Nurse Daisy?"

Michael Burnham turned to me. "Wait. She's going to die?"

Nurse Daisy looked between me and Michael Burnham, concern clouding her brow. "What's going on?"

"Will you ... please ... come with us, and we can talk about this in a less public setting?"

Nurse Daisy suddenly recollected herself to where she was. She looked around the mess deck. "Oh," she said.

I stood from the table. "Shall we?"

I returned the tray and put the curry into a contain for our 'guest.'

"Are you going to fill me in?" Michael Burnham demanded as we headed back to our quarters.

"Of course," I said, but that was all I said. Nurse Daisy, Michael Burnham, and I entered the turbolift.

"Notice how nobody says anything in the turbo?" Michael Burnham observed.

Nobody said anything.

"Yeah," Michael Burnham said into the silence.

We walked to our quarters and entered.

"Nurse Daisy," I said, "this is..."

I was attacked...

"Whatcha get me? I'm starving!"

... by a daisy-kissed-sundressed 'starving' Vulcan teen.

She grabbed the container from me, – "Ooh! Curry! My fav!" – sat at the table and started shoveling food into her mouth.

"SPICY!" T'Sil whined and grabbed Michael Burnham's lassi and chugged it.

"Wow," Michael Burnham observed.

"This is T'Sil," I finally got to say.

Nurse Daisy stared, her gaze shifting between me and T'Sil. "Who is that?"

T'Sil, this time, carefully, took a small spoonful of curry into her mouth. Her eyes watered and she quickly swallowed it and followed it with another large gulp of lassi.

"S'Vrall! God! Are you trying to kill me?" T'Sil complained.

"Mm," I replied. I sat next to her and took a large spoonful for myself, plopping the goop into my mouth. I was hungry, too, getting hardly anything at all of the meal on the mess deck.

Did T'Sil get all the spiciness? Because I tasted a very mildly seasoned food.

"Hey!" T'Sil squawked, grabbing the spoon back from me. "Mine!" She took a large bite, herself.

That was a mistake. "Ahhh! Why?" She finished the lassi in three large gulps, then shoved the container at me.

"Can I say I hate you?" she muttered angrily.

"You poor thing!" I said with false pity as I ate another large spoonful of curry.

The stuff was actually pretty good for human food.

T'Sil stuck her tongue out at me, which was a very strange human gesture that made me snort a bit of curry up my nose.

I glared at her through the following coughing fit.

"Um. Are you two sisters, or something?" Nurse Daisy asked timidly.

I looked at T'Sil then back at Nurse Daisy. "Why would you say that?" I asked, confused.

"Well, you look exactly alike, ..." she began.

"Oh," I said, "I get it. 'All Vulcans look the same.' Do you know how racist that is?"

"No, I meant ..." Nurse Daisy said quickly, blushing.

"You two do look a lot alike," Michael Burnham interjected. "And you were just bickering like siblings."

"Nyah! See!" T'Sil added.

"You're not allowed to have a say in this conversation," I scolded her.

"Says who?" she countered.

"'Whom'" I corrected her, and Michael Burnham, at the same time, said, "It's 'says whom.'"

"Oh, ...m'God!" T'Sil stood from the table. "You both are worse than my mom!" She stormed over to my rack and sat, crossing her arms. "Hmmphf!" she grunted, stewing, glaring at us.

"I am so confused," Nurse Daisy said softly.

That perked up T'Sil. "Let me clear it up for ya: this was me last night." She laid back onto my rack, closing her eyes, a study in repose.

"And this was you." T'Sil quickly sat up, mounted my pillow, and pantomimed humping it vigorously. "Please! Please!" she growled deep in her throat, throwing her head back.

She looked from her interpretative dance and smiled at us, looking for our admiration at her performance. "Huh?" she said, then added: "HUH?" She smirked. "I saw the recordings from the security cams last night. Gotta say: fuck'n-A-plus!"

"Oh, my god!" Nurse Daisy exclaimed, putting her hands to her cheeks.

"Right?" T'Sil shouted gleefully. "Tell me: was fucking a Vulcan on your bucket list? 'Cuz you hit the jackpot, ... with MEH!"

T'Sil was both glowing and vibrating in place. I was actually afraid she'd explode, bodily, from joy.

"Would you kindly calm yourself?" I hinted.

Nurse Daisy had a different agenda. "Just how old are you, exactly?" she demanded.

It got really quiet in the room at that.

T'Sil smirked. "Nupe!" She pointed at Nurse Daisy. "You first."

Nurse Daisy shook her head. "There is no way I am telling you my age. No way."

"Then you get static," T'Sil replied, unmoved. "And you have to walk around, wondering what hot young thang you just fucked last night, and you'll never get an answer." T'Sil smiled evilly, so full of herself.

"T'Sil," I chided.

"S'Vr-allll!" T'Sil tried to imitate my tone, but over-exaggerated the emphasis, making her sound even more childish.

"Twen-twenty-seven."

All the Vulcans in the room stopped and looked at Nurse Daisy, who refused to meet our eyes.

"Do you see that, T'Sil?" I said.

"Yeah," T'Sil nodded, finally solemn.

Nurse Daisy did look up at that. "See what?"

"Vul-..." I began, but T'Sil overrode me.

"Vulcans don't lie. They can't. You know why? Because they can see a lie a mile away. They can smell it. Do you know how much it physically hurts to tell a lie? Your body actually goes into a mini-shock when you tell one."

She finished quietly: "And Vulcans actually feel that pain, when you lie."

Nurse Daisy bit her lip.

"If it helps," I offered, "I've studied every member of the crew's records. I know your actual age, Nurse Daisy."

"But you don't even know my name!" she countered heatedly.

"'Chrysanthemum' is a lovely flower, and a lovely name, too, I'm sure." I remarked as an aside.

"Then you tell her," she said.

"No."

That didn't come from my mouth. It actually came from T'Sil's.

"No. You fucked me," she said. "You own up to that. You owe me that, at the very least."

T'Sil flipped from a carefree and petulant child to deadly serious in a heartbeat.

"T'Sil," I cautioned.

"No, she's right," Nurse Daisy admitted. "Um, I'm, ah ... thirty-four. I'm thirty-four."

"Nineteen," T'Sil replied, sunnily.

Nurse Daisy gasped. "Holy shit," she whispered to herself, then: "I'm old enough to be your mother!"

"No way!" T'Sil shook her head vigorously. "No way is that possible!" T'Sil replied. Then she dropped the bomb. "My mom's thirty-one."

T'Sil threw herself onto my rack and fell into a fit of giggles. "I kill myself!" she said, all pleased. She wiped her eyes. "Ahhh!" she sighed happily.

But then she sat up when she noticed Nurse Daisy's expression.

"It was a joke!" T'Sil said hurriedly.

Nurse Daisy's face was ashen. "I, uh, I ..."

But she couldn't finish her statement. She swallowed, and she turned quickly, leaving our quarters.

"I was kidding!" T'Sil shouted, leaping up from the rack, and sprinted toward the door.

I intercepted her. "You can't go out there."

T'Sil glared at me. "Let me pass, S'Vrall."

"No."

I maneuvered her to the table and sat her down, hard.

"Jesus fucking Christ! It was a fucking joke for fuck's sake! Can't anybody take a joke anymore?"

"It was a joke," I said.

"Yes!" T'Sil shouted angrily.

"Then why is she not laughing?" I countered.

T'Sil glared at me in fury. "Fuck you."

Michael Burnham cut in. "Much as I love this little tête-à-tête, I do have to get back to work. T'Sil, ... sabotage much? Because: great job!"

With that, she left.

I looked at T'Sil and sighed.

"Wat!"

I shook my head. "Remember that miracle? That women you just intentionally hurt with your 'little joke'? That was a xenobiologist, you know: somebody who might just possibly save your life. On her off-time, off the books, if she were really motivated to do so. Do you think your little 'joke' helped or hurt your chances? Because I'm really curious as to what exactly you were trying to do there."

T'Sil's chin started to quiver. "Why is everybody picking on me?" she demanded.

"I don't have time to play into your victimhood games," I informed her. "If we're going to have any chance at all at saving your life, we're going to need her help. That means I have to talk to her to get her to be able to hear you when you present yourself to her."

"'Present'?" T'Sil asked, sniffling.

"The Vulcan Rite of Atonement," I explained. "Prepare yourself, because when I get back, you're going to know exactly how much you hurt her, and you're going to say that to her, with no evasions, no justifications, and no excuses. Just you, and what you did to her, and how there is no way that anything you can do will ever heal the hurt you caused her. You have three hours. Write your apology and make it perfect. Because you have only one shot at this."

I got up. "Don't kill yourself." I said.

"Why do you keep saying that to me!" T'Sil was holding back tears.

"Because you told me that last night that you wanted to die, and I believe you. Because you can do that to yourself so easily, if you choose. And because I worry about you."

"Why?" she said and sniffled. "Why do you care?"

"Because," and I smiled at this. "And I thought I was clear about this: because I'm the idiot here, surrounded by all you smart people, and maybe, one day, you'll all figure that out."

"What makes you say I'm smart?"

"Academy at 14?"

"Yeah, but you didn't check my grades."

"I actually did. You got mostly B's, right?" She nodded. "But you slept your way through your classes, didn't you? You put in just enough effort to pass, which, for you, was no effort at all. Imagine if you tried? Imagine if you applied yourself? I did. I could neither read nor write. I had to take a year of remediation at a Vulcan Learning Center just to be able to go to the Vulcan Science Academy to fail every single course my first semester, and that was with me studying day and night. It was just all so fucking hard, and I understood none of it! I only passed the retakes during my second semester because every professor was instructed and required to provide after hours tutoring on the lessons they just gave me and everybody else. Who understood those lessons? Everybody else. Who didn't?"

I pointed at myself in the Vulcan manner.

"I'm so stupid, I couldn't even learn how to learn. I had to be taught that, over, and over, and over again, and the only thing that kept me going, the only thing ..."

I raised my chin and let T'Sil see my pain.

"The only thing?" T'Sil asked.

"I told myself I'm better than this, ... this thing, this monster, this savage, this idiot in a race of intellects, this ..." I looked away. "You said that Vulcans can't lie, but that's a lie, T'Sil. Vulcan can lie: they can lie to themselves. I did. I have my whole life."

"S'Vrall, ..." T'Sil began.

I held up my hand. "Do you even know what that name means?"

"No." T'Sil looked away.

"Do you know what yours means?"

She nodded at that. "Yeah," she said. "I looked it up."

"That is why you cannot kill yourself, T'Sil ... 'one who is beloved,' because at least you are beloved. And you know this: you chose your name. Just as I chose mine. At least you're not me."

"S'Vrall, you're not an idiot! Do you hear yourself? You overcame all that! God! And I was handed everything, okay? That doesn't make me smart and you stupid, okay? You're not a fucking monster! Jesus! You're my hero, okay?"

"You're wrong, ... and you picked the wrong hero."

I left.

Sound proofing is excellent on starships, ... for humans, but I very clearly heard T'Sil pounding on the door, screaming, "You open this God-damn door, you hear me? You open this door now, you fucking bitch!"

I had locked the door as I left.

I had places to be.