Heaven's Rain

by victimofmywoes

Little did I know my one-year exchange program in Japan would become so much more. NaruItaNaru.

21. Glass Thorns

Glass Thorns

A/N: Sorry for the delay. This chapter took a lot out of me in writing.

---

Two days after my graduation ceremony, I hurry out of the post office and pull out my phone. I quickly dial Itachi's number. "Naruto, I was just about to call you!" Itachi sounds desperate and relieved at the same time. There's a continuous thrumming sound in the background which I recognize.

"Where are you going?" I ask quietly as dread fills the pit of my stomach.

"To the hospital. His fever is not subsiding," Itachi clicks his tongue and the thrumming stops.

"Which hospital?" I ask, forcing quiet into my voice.

"The university hospital. But that's not the point'" he huffs.

"Have you reached?" I ask when I hear him pulling out the keys.

"That's why I wanted to call you. You don't have to come." Itachi's voice is hysteric now.

He's not okay. He's not okay at all.

"This isn't up for negotiation. I'll see you in ten."

I hang up before he can protest.

In the next thirty seconds I'm on my way to the hospital.

---

I run inside to spot him doing the paperwork for his appointment. The hospital is nearly empty. I move to him in a heartbeat and wait till he's submitted the papers. "How's Kiyoshi?" I ask, slightly afraid to touch the sleeping boy. He turns after a moment and stares at me till I lower the mask I wore.

He blinks owlishly at me. "Why are you here? I told you not to come!" he hisses, taking a seat in the waiting area.

I ignore him in lieu of seeing the little kid sleeping fitfully, his head on his father's shoulder. "But I'm here now." Kiyoshi's usually shiny hair hangs limply over his brow and I move to smoothen it, my heart pinching at the sight of the tear streaks on his face. He looks so…small. He stirs slightly but sleeps on.

Itachi glares at me. "He just fell asleep! Don't wake him up!" he hisses.

I immediately remove my hand from Kiyoshi's brow, not wanting to prick Itachi's ire further. Itachi stands before I can say anything to him and I stand as well. Itachi turns to me. "You stay here."

But I'm already walking past him towards where a nurse stands to guide us. She gives me a quizzical look I pointedly ignore. Once he's caught up, I turn to look at him but he just walks ahead begrudgingly, without saying anything. She leads us to a tiny square of an examination room where a young female doctor looks up from the screen at us. She pulls up her glasses and frowns when I enter as well. She looks at me pointedly but I refuse to move. She can't throw me out of here. I have international immunity and I am sure this isn't a crime. Itachi would have caught on the mental warfare had Kiyoshi not woken then to burst into tears.

The doctor types furiously as Itachi explains the symptoms, trying to quieten his son simultaneously. Kiyoshi pauses his crying when his gaze lands on me. I bend and smile softly at him. "Naruto," his voice cracks on the word and breaks my heart into two.

He had woken this morning, fussier than usual. He'd also lost his appetite and whined about body ache. Itachi had reassured me it was usual and it had taken some grand convincing before I finally relented and went to the post office to finish the inevitable and ship most of my stuff home. There was only so much procrastination I could do.

The doctor listens earnestly before she points to the small bed at the right side of the room. She examines him and then looks at Itachi. "I'll give him a shot for now but if his fever doesn't subside by the evening, I'll prescribe him some medicines."

I flinch. I physically twitch like my body is out of my control at the thought of Kiyoshi getting a shot.

It's going to hurt. I know it's going to hurt. It hurts to think that the world of medicine is cruel enough to inject more pain into an already aching body. And one so tiny at that!

She knows what she's doing. It's the fastest way. Don't panic. Don't panic. I force myself to straighten.

Itachi's eyes widen when they look at me. I look down to see I've grabbed his hand in a death grip. I'm scared. I am very, very scared. "Naruto are you alright?" he asks me quietly, his brow furrowing. His touch centers me. I nod. He doesn't move to free his hand from mine and I clutch at the contact, needing it to keep me here from losing it.

Kiyoshi's tear-filled eyes meet mine and I immediately move towards him.

"You'll be alright, little man. I promise you that." I tell him softly as I bend down beside him. I squeeze his small hand. "And when you're all patched up, we'll go out to the park and play anything you want," I tempt him with a smile which he feebly returns. The doctor hurries to prepare the shot and I look back at him. "If you get better by the evening, I'm going to make you some flan pudding. It's your favorite, isn't it?" I ask him, touching his soft cheek. He smiles and nods.

Itachi's hand in mine tightens. The doctor walks up to us and turns Kiyoshi to the side. Itachi removes his hand from mine to help her lower Kiyoshi's pajamas.

I stare at her do her work. Kiyoshi only twitches when she administers the shot. He doesn't even cry. It only takes a moment and it feels like I've been hit with thousands of needles.

I feel like I've been crushed and remade from the debris as I watch it, steeling my resolve. God forbid, should this situation ever rise in the future, I should be prepared to see this.

Kiyoshi turns to me, his eyes wide and then he smiles even though he hurts all over. "It doesn't hurt," he says.

"You can take him home," the doctor smiles perfunctorily at Itachi and gives me a concerned look before she moves away to dispose her gloves and the syringe.

Itachi, too, looks at me with wide eyes. My panic must have shown on my face. Something wet drips down my face and I wipe it immediately to see tears. No wonder Kiyoshi had to reassure me. I didn't know I was this weak.

Itachi's hand squeezes mine. "It's alright," he nods quietly at me when the doctor goes back to writing the prescription. "It's alright. It's alright."

For a second, just for a second, he leans his forehead against my shoulder. "Thanks for being here."

I nod in answer.

---

It's almost one o'clock in the morning before I finally convince Itachi to get some sleep. He relents after a long debate and I quickly take his seat beside Kiyoshi and pull open the book I was reading. Fortunately, Kiyoshi's fever broke by the evening and he'd also managed to eat some porridge and then pudding after. He made me laugh when he licked the bowl clean and patted his stomach. It helped to see some color return to his cheeks. But my worrisome boyfriend refused to leave the little one's side. And by the time one o'clock had rolled around, I'd finally had enough of that haggard face.

I pause after finishing the third last chapter of my novel. I am thirsty and need to use the bathroom too. I look at my watch to see it is nearly four in the morning. I softly touch the small forehead to find it cool. He sleeps soundly. After finishing the more urgent end of the business, I quietly peer into Itachi's room to see him fast asleep. I smile softly before making my way to the kitchen. I am in the middle of taking a gulp of my water when Sasuke walks in. He's dressed only in his boxers. He scratches his head absently as he opens the fridge. I swallow the water down before taking another sip. "Thirsty after a romp in bed?" his voice jars me, making water go down the wrong pipe, as I choke horribly. I thump my chest and gasp for breath.

Sasuke comes behind me and thumps me rudely on the back. "Guilty as charged, huh? You don't even bother hiding it anymore. It's vulgar."

I take a deep breath and right myself, taking two steps back, creating distance. "Vulgar are your thoughts, Sasuke! Kiyoshi has a fever and I'm watching over him."

Sasuke at least has the grace to look a little surprised and worried. At least what he feels for his nephew is genuine concern. "I didn't know that."

"Well, now you do." I move to walk past him. "And now if you will excuse me, I need to get back to his side."

"How is he?" Sasuke asks.

I nod. "His fever has subsided. He's okay."

Sasuke exhales in relief before he narrows his eyes at me. "Where's Itachi? Why isn't he watching over his son?"

I exhale. Trust Sasuke to not understand a thing. "Because he needed sleep," is all I say.

Sasuke laughs in absolute disgust. It sounds bitter and cold. "So what? Earning brownie points now, are we?" he asks, raising a brow. His voice is loud.

"I've had enough of this nonsense. I'm gonna go."

"You really think you playing house is going to achieve something?"

"I don't care about any of that. Even if what you think was to come true, I'd still be here, still be with him. And I'd do it over and over and over. All over again. Without wanting anything in return."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because Kiyoshi would want me here. And I want to become a man like that. A man who's there for his family. And you don't do things for family expecting something in return."

Sasuke draws in a sharp breath but doesn't say anything more.

I jog back to Kiyoshi's room. The sight of him sleeping peacefully brings peace. I was worried Sasuke's loud voice would wake him up. I gently touch his forehead, careful not to wake him up as I feel his forehead. He opens and closes his mouth several times muttering something incoherent under his breath. It makes me chuckle breathlessly. I watch him for a few seconds before I turn around and move to Itachi's room with padded feet.

I open the door as quietly as I can and stand at the threshold to watch him sleep. His chest rises and falls softly, his hair a fan on my pillow, which he cradles over his right arm, securely nestled in covers on my side of the bed.

Something crumbles to dust inside me.

I stand and take it all in for a long, long time.

---

Once Kiyoshi has fully recovered and has got his strength back, I treat him to a day out. Itachi even volunteers to take a day off and accompany us. We spend the morning in the shopping mall where I buy him anything he puts his finger on. His father keeps scolding me. Once when we're in Uniqlo, I buy us all matching ball caps. We grin and take pictures as we enjoy our lunch in the food court. After the lunch, Itachi takes us to a kids' park and drops an eager Kiyoshi into the sandbox. We play for a while and finally decide to rest on a bench nearby.

"What was your favorite game as a child?" he asks me after drinking some water from a bottle. He offers it to me once he's done.

"Hmm, I liked all of them. But sometimes after everyone had gone home, I'd sit on a swing that overlooked a pond and gaze at the water for a long time." I smile at him.

Maybe it's my tone or the smile I gave him when I was lost in my childhood memories, but Itachi does not smile back. Instead, he inches closer and puts a hand on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Was it not a happy time for you?" he asks softly.

I smile self-consciously, noting his keen perception. I don't even know why I spoke about it. "It's just, both my parents worked and were never home till late. Going back to that empty house didn't feel right. Moreover, I was also coming to terms with my identity and I didn't have anyone to talk to. I mean it's not like my parents were unsupportive but I was not ready to spring it upon them, I guess," I say, shrugging lightly. I look forward at Kiyoshi piling up sand and enjoying himself while the sun kisses down on him. "That swing was my friend at the loneliest time of my life."

His hand snakes upwards and lightly brushes the lower strands of hair at my nape. His finger flicks down the back of my neck softly. The touch is not sexual but it's intimate nevertheless. I smile softly at him, blinking away the cobwebs that lurk there. "I wish I'd known you then," the words are soft, his admission carries just a whiff of chagrin. But his face is open and his smile is the most beautiful one he only gives me.

My heart swells. "I know."

And I do. I know that even if he didn't understand any of it, he wouldn't have let me stay alone by the pond. I know he'd always have been there for me. Deep down in my bones, the conviction of that thought echoes. Maybe this is the reason I've always resented Shisui.

He doesn't say anything when his hand moves to grab the back of my head and he turns my head and plants a kiss to my lips. We smile at each other.

"Naruto and Daddy are kissing!" Kiyoshi chortles loudly as he claps his hands and hurriedly makes his way towards us. "I want a kiss too!" he yells loudly.

I lean my forehead against Itachi's and we laugh.

Kiyoshi laughs with us.

---

"I'm sure you'll find it in the top drawer of my bedside stand." Itachi mumbles before he distractedly looks down at the work he's doing, going back to it in a second.

I roll my eyes and make my way to the said drawer. It's organized just like everything in the house. The nail cutter sits right on top of a pocket novel. I pluck out the nail cutter before peering at the book. The cover is bright pink. I smirk. Haha! So my lover reads smut too. I pull out the book to look closer and something falls from the pages.

I bend down to pick it up and my heart stops in my chest, the novel forgotten in my hand when I stare at the object I pick up from the floor. The photograph of him, of them.

Their wedding rings glare at me. My lover standing on the left looks younger, radiant in the picture with his arm curled possessively over a woman so exquisite, I have to suck in a breath. Almond shaped black eyes that are slightly tilted stare back at the camera. Her luxuriant straight black hair cascades down her slender frame to brush against her waist. Her peach and sunset sheath dress is becoming on her. Her eyes are twin shining pools as she softly looks at the camera and smiles.

And he, he looks exactly like how he does when he looks at me. The same shine in his eyes, the same pleasantness in his serene smile. Heartbreakingly beautiful. Ethereal. They both look so smitten that I feel uncomfortable.

If they'd never divorced, would there have been a day when I would have to witness that look in his eyes for her?

My heart skips a treacherous beat. No. No. No thinking about it. No going there. He's mine now. Only mine. The panic recedes slightly.

Everything Kiyoshi didn't receive from his dad, his mother made up for it. The sharp cheekbones and the small nose are her. All her. The semblance he bears to her is also uncanny. And how I wish he didn't. How I wish I wasn't here. How I wish this picture did not look that frayed. Like he'd touched it over and over and over. The fact that it's still lying in his bedside drawer makes it worse. My skin feels like it'll rip open with the barrage of thoughts running in my head. I fight with the worst as I quell those thoughts. But there is one that's killing me inside. I fight to block it out.

Does Itachi see her in him? Does he look at his son's face and think of her? Remember her?

I push it back in the novel before putting the book exactly where I found it, in the first drawer of his nightstand. I stand there for a moment longer, fighting the worst of my thoughts.

Does he still think about her? Still love her?

I don't want to know. Not now. Not ever.

---

I turn off the TV and turn to look at my lover to find him fast asleep, his head on my shoulder, his left arm twined in my right, snuggled against me.

I smile, tightening my own arm around his waist, squeezing him lightly. "Wake up sleepyhead," I whisper in his ear.

He makes an incoherent noise and goes back to burying his face in my neck, his breathing evening out instantly. "If you don't wake up then I'll just carry you princess style to our room," I threaten softly. My tongue traces the shell of his ear. He squirms and cutely rubs his cheek to my shoulder. The cotton shifts when he moves, making me chuckle.

"Alright." I remove my arm and gently rest his head against the headrest, laughing under my breath when his brows furrow and his eyes open a fraction. I can see that he's tired. And I can see why he is tired. After going two rounds this afternoon, I can see why his energy would be depleted. Though I'd planned to go very slow and steady tonight, watching him blissfully asleep doesn't make me regret pushing it for another day, how limited they may be.

I'm about to push my hand behind his knees to haul him up princess-style when I change my mind and instead lift his arms to weave around my shoulders. He comes pliantly into my arms, his face turning to my neck. I slide my hands under his butt and lift him up. His legs wind around me. I smile to myself, realizing how familiar my arms are with his weight.

Oh I'll carry him princess-style, for sure one day. The day when he'll be mine, all mine and we take our first steps over the threshold. It's a tradition I'm rather looking forward to enjoying. I laugh when I think about how possibly affronted my lover will be.

Once I reach our bed, I lay him down gently and he curls immediately to his side. I turn to close the bedroom door when a hand shoots out and stops me. "Going somewhere?" Itachi's just awoken voice is rough and scratchy and just the right shade of sexy.

I smirk at him. "You sound fairly awake for someone who couldn't even form words a few minutes ago," I note teasingly.

He huffs out a laugh which morphs into a leisurely yawn. "Come to bed," the heat in the invitation is too tempting. It sets fire to the want that was pulsing in my veins. He lifts his other hand and stretches it, making the bones pop with a crack sound. He drops it to his side and looks at me from amidst his lashes. He truly has the most beautiful eyes I've seen.

"Gimme a second," I say, bending down to kiss his hand before I make my way to the washroom and then to the hall to turn off all the lights before returning to our room. The lamp beside my side of the bed is the only source of light. I almost hop over like an eager rabbit and glance at my lover to see him fast asleep.

I smile before I turn off the light and slip in behind him. I place an arm around his waist and he moves closer to me, sighing in bliss. His hair tickles my chin and I brush it away to place a kiss beneath his ear. "Goodnight, Itachi-sama. I love you."

There's a long beat of silence before his hand captures mine around his waist. "I love you too."

The fact that this is becoming a habit is not lost on me.

I breathe in his scent and close my eyes.

---

"Wake up, sleepyhead," a soft voice whispers in my ear.

I let out a sound before I turn my head away to bury my face in the pillows that smell like him. I was just dreaming about him smiling at me. "Five more minutes," I mumble, more into the pillow than towards my lover.

A soft chuckle sounds for a moment before a finger pokes my cheek and he whispers again. "Wake up. We need to talk." It's that voice. The voice I hate. Alertness jars me from the dream I was enjoying and I sit up instantly.

"What are you doing here?" I ask Sasuke, my voice carrying my obvious confusion. "Where's Itachi?" the question is out of my mouth before I can stop myself, looking around the room as if expecting him to materialize out of thin air.

Sasuke winces when I glance at him. "Always him, isn't it? It's always him," his eyes flash dangerously as he pushes me back on the bed when I make to stand. I move again to leap out of the bed to get distance. Being in physical proximity with him has not gone down well in some time. But he prevents me from moving.

I move to Itachi's side of the bed immediately, making Sasuke tut pathetically at me. "Scared, are we now?" he asks, his voice silky. And I know, if I was to leave this bed, I'll play exactly to his tunes. I stop trying to escape the bed.

"Say what you have to, and then get out," I tell him coldly, jutting out my chin at him defiantly. I even cross my arms across my chest.

He perches himself on the foot of the bed, near my feet. I immediately pull my legs under me and sit up. "What do you want?" my voice has turned chilly now and I'm on alert. But one glance at the door and some relief pools in when I find it open. At least he won't try something seedy. Nevertheless, I turn steely eyes to him.

Sasuke licks his lips. "When…before Itachi married, he was a different person. There was a lightness to him, a sense of pride in the way he carried himself. He was lively and open," a shadow passes over his face while I swallow nervously. My mind flashes back to the picture in his drawer. The picture that was too much to bear.

We haven't covered this: Itachi and me. His marriage. We've only spoken of her in passing and Itachi's readiness in brushing it away has prevented me from probing further. I myself don't want to know about it, about her. I'm content with the fact that her loss has been my gain, twofold. But the fact that the picture was in his bedside drawer has not been easy to swallow. But I cannot unlock my jaw, open my mouth, and tell him to stop. It's like I can't bring myself to. I only blink nervously.

"Did he tell you why they divorced?" he asks me quietly. There's no hint of challenge or malice on his face but I nod. I know. The day he rejected me, the day he laid himself bare before me flashes in the forefront of my mind. His helplessness looks back at me when he told me about the cracks in his marriage. I hate that woman with a burning passion. She abandoned him. She abandoned Kiyoshi. There's no scope for forgiveness there.

"What does this have to do with you?" I ask, my voice a fine film of ice.

He bites his lip as he looks down once and then looks up at me. I can read the regret in his eyes. Sasuke too reads the emotions on my face. He sees the taut set of my jaw, my whole body tense. His eyes come back to meet mine. "Nothing and everything." He looks away quickly while I gape at him like an idiot. "What you know isn't the whole truth," Sasuke says as if he assumes I'll believe him. But deep down there's a gut feeling that makes me doubt my judgment. It's like he's made me realize a part of my body I didn't know existed. Only now it throbs like a festering wound.

Sasuke leans casually against the mattress. "He left her because her sister was obsessed with me."

What?

I look at him, totally shaken.

He doesn't sneer, doesn't gloat in pride. He merely shakes his head and smooths out a wrinkle in the sheet. "I met her at the formal introduction once and then at the wedding. After that…" he sighs, sitting up, "after that, let's just say her advances were rather frightening. But when I didn't relent, Kaede, Itachi's ex-wife, learnt of it. She tried helping her sister, pleading with me but I just could not. Not when she was family, not when I'm like this. But I wasn't ready to come out. Don't think I still am." He looks away before looking back at me. I know what he means. Rejecting her was the only way.

"Needless to say, me pushing her away only led to further desperation on her part till she forced Itachi into this. And this led to fights between them. Terrible, terrible fights." Sasuke shakes his head sadly. "And then they divorced."

"How can you be so sure?" I ask, uncrossing my arms and sitting up straighter. I know the reason they divorced. I know it's because of the differences between them. Itachi told me all about it the day I confessed the first time on our bench in the park. About the cracks that failed to hold their relationship together. He made no mention of this. No mention of Sasuke's involvement in it.

"Because I was there the day they divorced!" Sasuke lashes out. "I was there when she said horrible, terrible things to him while he just listened without saying a word. How she kept calling him a coward for choosing me instead of her. I never learnt if she knew I was gay but I'm convinced she did." He makes a bitter face as he fists his hand on the sheet. "Do you know why she's not involved in Kiyoshi's life at all?" he asks me. I mutely shake my head. "She was so mad she didn't even want Kiyoshi. She feared Kiyoshi could have the same genes as me. Next thing I knew, they were separating."

A dry chuckle slips out of his mouth when he looks up at me. "You'll enjoy this part. Before she said goodbyes, it was my turn. I only pointed out the irony in her logic seeing as she was choosing her own sister too. And then she…she spat on my face."

I don't smile. I can't even muster my lips to lift. They're too caught in between my teeth, keeping my anger at bay. I loathe her. I abhor her. And not because she's Itachi ex-wife but because of the kind of woman she is. Someone who could say such cruel things to her own husband, for her own son. Someone who'd make him choose between her and his own brother.

My own hands bunch in the sheet under me when I turn as cold as ice. Guilt fills me up, choking me, making breathing difficult. I am the same. I made him choose too.

I wallow in this misery for a stunned silence. "You're not the same," Sasuke's firm voice flits through the myriad of my thoughts and I look up sharply at him. He holds my gaze. Slowly, he shakes his head. "You and his ex-wife are not the same. With her he had an air of tension but he's different with you. Nicer. Softer."

"What do you mean tension?" Unconsciously, I think about the photo I saw of them. Itachi looked so radiant and happy.

"After Itachi married, he changed. Gradually yes, but he grew more distant, more stressed. I was struggling through my national exams so our meetings also declined. We just seemed to…fall apart. I understood it was because he now had a wife, a different life, so I kept my distance. Till her sister dragged us back together, blinded by her obsession with me.

"After their divorce, Itachi...let's just say the tension got worse in a completely different way. He stayed quiet and brooding for a very long time. He devoted all his energy into raising his son and running his shop. Each time we spoke, he barely said anything beyond what was required. The worse was, there was a heaviness to his every action, his every word. He was only pliant and open to Kiyoshi. And I realized the only way to him was through his son. I moved in here when I got into our university. And together we – Kiyoshi and me and Shisui and Obito and our parents worked to put him back together to how you know him.

"It wasn't prominent. He made it a point not to show it to anyone. He laughed and talked and ate with us but sometimes, just sometimes a pained look would cross his face when he looked at us or at Kiyoshi. Especially when he looked at his son. I saw the regret on his face. It makes me think about he must have wanted for them to work out."

My eyes ache with the tears lining them. Compared to him, my loneliest moment feels small. An ant against a mountain.

I wish I'd known you then.

Sasuke takes a deep breath and looks away before he straightens completely and looks at me. "You've changed him completely." There's no bitterness that coats Sasuke's face, no hint of hatred when he looks at me. "He's become what he was before she took it all away. And you brought him back. You brought my brother back."

I don't stop the tears that run down my face. "Why are you telling me this?" I ask Sasuke, as quietly as I can, swiping a hand across my face.

He shrugs lightly and smooths a wrinkle from his lounge pants. He looks up at me and some regret fills in those black orbs. "Because I was too blinded by the hate, I felt for him. He broke his marriage for me Naruto! Can you even imagine what that must have taken from him? But he refused to give you up even when I loved you. You didn't choose me and that hurt. But when he didn't choose me, it tore me to shreds. I kept wondering why. Why would he not relent you? If he could give up his wife for my happiness, why couldn't he give you up?

"But the night you were taking care of Kiyoshi, I saw how you smiled when you touched his forehead. I saw how you watched Itachi sleep from the doorway not wanting to wake him like a creepy stalker. But I'm not blind to the trust he places in you for his son. And I see just how happy you make him just by being there." He smiles at me. "So never, ever go comparing yourself to her." He rolls his eyes. "You're the man I chose…" he says, gravely insulted. "Give me some credit!"

I huff out a laugh. "Understood." I pause for a moment and look at him, letting him see how grateful I am. "Thanks."

He lets out another breath. "And while I may not have forgiven you for doing such a shitty thing as coveting my brother and this romance of yours, I guess I'm thankful for making Itachi happy again." He pauses and his own gaze turns to steel. "You better treat him well for the rest of your stay here."

"I'll treat him like a king for the rest of my life Sasuke!"

"Let's see. As of now, you have to go away soon."

My heart skips a beat. "So what?" I can see where he's going with this.

"Were you listening to a word I was saying?" he frowns at me. "I'm scared your loss will turn him back into what he was after they separated. Maybe worse." Sasuke says, running an agitated hand through his hair.

"Your point?" I want him to say it. My heart feels like it's folding in on itself.

"I spent two hellish months without you!" his eyes flash with unshed tears when he looks at me. His eyes lower. "And we weren't even lovers…no matter how much I wished for it." He looks up at me. "For two people who are attached to each other like you two are, it pains me to think of what will happen to him. To both of you."

I snort. "I'm not dying Sasuke. I'll just be going back home. And I'll still be his only one." I smile at him. It's a genuine smile, one that's not aimed for Sasuke at all.

"Naruto, you don't understand. It's going to be hard on him. On them." He stabs me where it hurts the worst. Dragging Kiyoshi into it is unfair.

"Sometimes I'm amazed at how little you know your own brother Sasuke or Kiyoshi. They're stronger than you think."

"You're talking to the person who's seen one of them fall apart once."

"The Itachi I know is braver than you're giving him credit for."

"You don't know how this parting is going to play out."

"Regardless, I know he'll stay the same." I tell him confidently. "And if he changes, it'll be for the better."

"How?"

"Forgive me for waxing poetic but I know for a fact that our love doesn't make us weak Sasuke. It's given us the strength to only step forward." I smile at him, as if willing him to understand. "Besides, you and I, we may be earth and soil and blood and bones but your brother, he's fire. Pure fire."

Sasuke rolls his eyes and bursts out laughing. "Does he actually tolerate you talking like this? Ah, maybe he likes it. You've been together for only six months and you romanticize him to insanity. Sometimes when I hear the cheese rolling off you, I wonder how he's not embarrassed. I know I would be." He makes a troubled face when I laugh. This Sasuke was once my friend, a brother even. And for a second, I'm willing to forget the ugliness that's swept in between us.

"Sasuke, I'm sorry." My voice is sincere. I didn't know how much I wanted to say the words till that moment and mean them the way I do.

A shadow passes over Sasuke's face before he nods. "I don't mean anything bad when I tell you to keep some distance. I just think it would make things a little easier…for both…all of us." He looks away.

"Sasuke," I turn my face to his and he stiffens like I've electrocuted him. "You know your brother. What would he do?"

Sasuke rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue as if to say: Him again? Then he blinks and it's gone.

"Lock you in a cage and never let you out of his sight." He doesn't blink before he answers. Doesn't even realize he's said this. I stay quiet for a second only shaking my head.

"He'll never lock me up. Not when I know how much he wants me to fly."

He looks at my face for a long moment before he turns around and walks away.

"Itachi and Kiyoshi have gone to the convenience store, just so you know." He smiles at me when he reaches the bedroom door. "It's French toast for breakfast."

He breezes out without another look, closing the door quietly shut behind him.

I exhale softly.

---

I am in the middle of pulling on my jeans after my shower when Kiyoshi's loud greeting echoes through the house. I smile excitedly as I instantly make my way over to them. Kiyoshi greets me first as he runs and throws his arms around my legs. "Naruto! Good morning," he greets cutely.

I sweep him up in my arms and press a kiss to his temple. "Good morning, little man."

Kiyoshi grins toothily at me before he presses his head to my shoulder. My lover makes his way to the kitchen to put down the groceries while Kiyoshi excitedly tells me about his trip to the store, making me smile. Then he pulls out a bar of chocolate from his pocket before looking at his father who's busy in the kitchen and then he quietly passes it to me. Just like how I've done for him many times. "Daddy doesn't know I got it for you," he whispers to me as if unveiling a national secret but surely loud enough for Itachi's ears to catch.

I grin before turning to kiss the top of his head. In the short period that I've known Kiyoshi, we've formed a bond so tight, my life feels incomplete without him. Recently, each time I've gone shopping, I've bought something for him. If something catches my eye, I buy it instantly. I've been scolded of course, but I just can't help myself. Of course I buy Itachi presents too, but it's always Kiyoshi who's on my mind. I love his little gestures and his cute smiles. Or when he pouts when Itachi and I sometimes engage in conversation, leaving him out. I love watching anime with him. I love slipping him chocolates and other treats I know he likes. I love his smell, our baths. I love every single thing about this life with him. He always feels like a jigsaw piece fitted just right in my life, just like his father. Maybe…maybe this is how my dad feels about me. How, Itachi feels about Kiyoshi? These two are my family, the future I want to have. I grin as I tear open the wrapper and take a chunk off of it before passing it to the boy who really feels like a son to me. I look at him casually as he takes it and plops it in his mouth. "Isn't it time for your favorite anime?"

Kiyoshi gasps and then squirms and demands to be lowered. I laugh as I put him down on the floor and move towards the living room to turn on the TV. "You know the rules, little man. No getting too close to the screen."

Kiyoshi nods sagely as his attention moves to the opening credits. I ruffle his hair before moving towards the kitchen.

When I stand against the doorway, he says, "You're sharing too many chocolates. It's not good for him."

I bat a hand. "They are milk teeth, they'll fall off."

"You'll be the one driving him to the hospital when he's six and complaining of a toothache at three in the morning." The semantics of the argument we're having over Kiyoshi's dental health are insignificant to the fact that he's woven me into their future already. That when Kiyoshi is six, I will be there to witness it.

I smile. "It'll be the least of your worries," I move towards the kitchen counter and perch on it. Only to watch him pull out eggs and bread from the plastic bag. His eyes meet mine and my chest squeezes onto itself.

I wish I'd known you then.

Everything Sasuke told me in the morning reverberates through my blood, amplified by the fact that he didn't give us up. Every time I think I'm moving towards becoming his strength, he becomes mine. How can I ever, ever repay this?

"Wanna help?" Itachi asks looking over from the mixing bowl.

I let go of all the thoughts going through my head to smile and move to help him instead.

---

I've been quiet throughout breakfast. I know I've been. Kiyoshi even worriedly asks me if I'm not well. And Itachi's stares have been like icy needles piercing my skin each time he looks at me. I know he's worried. What worse is, he instinctively knows something happened. Only he doesn't know what it is. I want to update him on the development with his brother. But I can't talk about it without telling him what Sasuke told me about her.

I've never thought about it. About their marriage. About him walking home with someone else.

Long ago, in Hakone, Juugo had emphasized how much Itachi loved Sasuke, to what lengths he could go for him. And Sasuke's words were the proof of it. But that same man, chose me. And Sasuke confirmed it this morning too. But that same man, chose me, over him, over her. A different kind of realization hits me when it sinks in that somewhere down the line and all this while, I've been seeing as a rival, even now. It feels like I've won but the happiness of the victory eludes me. I've won over her but I'm not happy about it. My narcissism doesn't revel in it. If I'd never seen that picture then perhaps I could have enjoyed it more. Somehow that picture just burns in my chest like a hole. It's not like I didn't expect something like this but to find it in his bedside drawer, looking so...used, I'd have been alright. I'd have been ecstatic at the prospect of having to deal with a problematic Sasuke. It's given birth to a curiosity I'd clearly slammed the doors shut on. Why now? Especially now?

I turn to see him pour a cup of coffee for himself. His eyes meet mine and raises his eyebrows at me. I know he's worried. I know he wants answers. But right now, I can't even muster a single word on my tongue. My entire body feels elated but my mind is an absolute mess. I'm so many things right now that gratitude doesn't even touch the tip of my feelings for him. He's seen all of me – my good, my bad, my absolute worst and has still chosen me.

I nibble at my French toast without tasting anything. Kiyoshi talks enthusiastically about a picture he wants to draw of his favorite anime while we listen. I'm glad for this distraction from how tormented I feel. The perfectly cooked food tastes like ash in my mouth. I force myself to finish it. Itachi frowns at me when I put down my fork and stare blandly at Kiyoshi till, he finishes his breakfast.

After breakfast, I clear the plates and move to the sink to wash them. Kiyoshi goes to his room to start on his art project while I do the dishes and Itachi tidies up. He doesn't ask me a single thing and I'm grateful to him all over again. Once done, I take a perch atop the counter once again and watch him put away the last of the boxes. He gives me a strange look when our eyes meet and I quickly look away, not wanting him to know what I'm feeling. Instead, I watch him pour a mug of coffee. My heart splits into a million pieces as he lifts the cup and walks over to me. "Coffee for your thoughts?" he quips, smiling at me. He perches himself on the counter beside me and hooks a leg over mine as he passes me the cup. I take it with hands that shake.

"I'm wondering what I did to deserve you," I say, the words ripped out of me. I put the coffee mug on the counter beside me.

His smooth brow furrows. "My peacock has his feathers down today. What brought this on?" his voice is soft, so quiet, it's almost soothing.

"It's just," I swallow nervously, as I look at him. "I never imagined that one day I would be here with you, in this kitchen. Sometimes it just feels…surreal you know." I say softly. "Like I'm going to open my eyes and you're going to…vanish," I say to him.

He moves and flicks me on the forehead. I scowl as I touch the area. It hurts. My nostrils flair when I turn to him. But he just chuckles delightfully and says, "Is this real enough for you?"

"Sometimes I forget how hard your fingers hurt," I rub the area, furious at him.

He flicks an invisible fleck of dust from his jeans and hums, clearly enjoying himself. "I don't recall you complaining about them when they are inside you, opening you up," Itachi smirks at me, amusement clear in his eyes, knowing I've walked into it. "In fact, now that I think about it, I do recall you using some very affirmative words to relay how good they feel," he winks at me, smirk widening in all his formal Japanese glory. "Or wait, should we call it moaning?"

"You have a filthy mouth," I say, laughing despite myself.

"I don't remember you complaining about that either." He waggles his eyebrows playfully at me.

"And you called me a peacock!" I look at him disbelievingly. "I don't know if I should be pleased or disgusted!"

He bursts out laughing. "Oh Naruto! You know your narcissism likes it. Loves it." He winks at me again.

I chuckle before I turn to gawk at him. "Wait, did you insult me again?"

Itachi's eyes are twin sparkling fountains when he looks at me and laughs abandonly. "You're too easy," he says, making me tickle him. He howls with laughter even as he squirms to get away.

I look at him, reveling in the moment. Etching this Itachi into my very soul is my prime objective. My chest squeezes again when I think back to one of the photographs, he gave me. The one titled Sunshine. I pull out my phone and snap a picture. He looks stunned for a moment before he makes to grab my phone to see it. I move it away before he can reach it. He climbs over me to grab it but changes tactics and moves to kiss me instead.

My hands move around his waist to hold him tight and his hand covers mine, smoothly plucking the phone from my fingers and looking at it. That same Cheshire cat smile on his face. "It was that easy," is all he says.

But I don't care about this. Don't care about this loss. Sasuke said I'd healed him. That my presence made him whole again. And now whether by choice or by design, we are going to part. And I wonder would he go back to how he was when she left? The part of him I'd never known. The him before me. The him Sasuke and his family and friends had worked to patch into functional again. What if it was to come true? I don't know how to voice it or if I can, at all, give it words so I stay quiet. I also want to talk about what Sasuke said but I don't know how to broach the subject. I don't want to know about her. My mind once again drifts towards Sasuke's words. I'd craved those words from him. But every word is now laced with so much poison, it hurts in an entirely new way. There are days when I feel like I can't breathe without Itachi. I am terrified at the thought of having to live without him.

My phone beeps and Itachi hands it to me without looking at it. It's a message from my mom. But it's not the message that has me frozen. I feel like I'm seeing my fears materializing in front of me. I've been so preoccupied, I haven't even looked at my phone this morning. I look at the date, at the wretched twenty-fifth of August written there and my heart begins thudding madly.

Itachi gives me a worried look as his hand moves towards me. But I just slip off the counter and rush to the nearest toilet to throw up.

A dreadful thought chokes me in its grasp as I struggle to breathe. Sasuke's visit, though not with any ill-intentions, has driven the nail home.

I only have a month left in Japan.

Thirty days.

The race against time has begun.

---

I wish I could say I was man enough to take this information at face value and digest it. But there's a continuous underlining of panic thrumming through my veins, making me puke. I feel like I've been sucker punched in the gut.

Itachi pats my back soothingly when I pant harshly and flush before moving to the washbasin.

"Are you alright?" our eyes meet in the mirror but his tone carries a heavier meaning behind the question. We both know he's not talking about my queasy stomach.

I bend down to splash some water on my face. "I don't know," I say, looking away.

"Did something happen?" his hand on my shoulder squeezes a bit. He moves me towards the living room sofa and seats me down, giving me a bottle of water to drink. I sip from it before he takes his seat next to me.

I run a hand through my hair before I look at him. "It's the twenty-fifth of August," I say flatly.

A shadow passes over his face, like he remembers. He clears his throat as he rubs my back once. He musters a smile. "So what? We still have thirty complete days before our little parting," he smiles and ruffles my hair. "Don't let this get you down."

I want to tell him. That my chest tightens up at the thought of being away from him. Panic begins flaring inside me when I think about the distance that's going to separate me from that potent fragrance of his. That I can't sleep if it's not next to him. For all my big talk about this love being my strength, it just makes it harder. That underneath all that narcissism, I'm nothing but a fragile mess, afraid of shattering into a million pieces. This man, his son, this family tethers me to them like no one has ever before, keeping me together. And once I leave, I'll be nothing.

Sasuke fears for Itachi. He looked white when he talked about how bad Itachi was after she left. Witch. Her photograph in his night drawer along with the conversation I had with Sasuke this morning, churn in my blood like a sick mixture. It opens an entire avenue of things I want to know now. Things I had one day long ago decided I would never need to ask. Now I want to know what happened. I want to know solely because I'm scared for Itachi too.

"Are you okay?" his voice penetrates that thick jungle of questions in my head. It brings me back to him.

"I was feeling a little sick when I woke. I'm all better now."

"Not what I'm talking about."

I sigh. Now's a better time than any to talk about it. "Sasuke came to see me this morning," I start and he tenses beside me. His hand on my shoulder bunches. I bring my hand to it and hold it. "It's okay. We made our peace."

"Just like that?" my heart cinches in my chest at his incredulous tone.

"Well…I apologized. I don't think he'll do anything now." I look into his eyes willing him to understand that Sasuke's words were sincere. He nods once, slowly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, softly.

I look down before turning to him. "Is it true that you left your wife because her sister was obsessed with Sasuke?" I ask, unable to take it anymore.

Itachi's mouth closes with a snap. A muscle ticks in his jaw. Then he forces himself to relax. "It was…one of the reasons, yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask him slowly, softly.

"There was nothing to tell!" he snaps. He's so cold right now, it hurts my chest. "Besides, I hid nothing. I told you everything you needed to know the very night you confessed."

"This was relevant to me!" I lash out too, voice fighting to keep itself together.

"How is my marriage relevant to you Uzumaki Naruto? And how is it fucking relevant to you?"

Just like that, I've been cast outside of his inner circle. Forced to become a stranger in front of the very person who's everything to me. I take a deep breath, more to keep myself from falling apart than actually preparing my words. "I dream of becoming your family, Itachi-sama! You're everything to me. In sickness and health, in good times and bad times. How can I ever truly be with you if I can't share this with you? Then how can we ever work?" I ask him.

He looks at me once before he looks down. "My baggage is not yours to share, Naruto. No offense, but my past is none of your business."

A cold smile works its way on my mouth, my temper getting the better of me. "Then tell me Itachi-sama, what am I to you?" My voice breaks to a whisper at the end and I hate this weakness that's taken over me. It feels like a sickness as my throat clogs up.

Itachi senses where this is leading. He looks at me carefully. "You know what you are."

That smile stays pasted on my lips. "Yeah, a companion of good times. A summer romance if you will."

His gaze lifts to me. Cool, calm, and serene. "Don't." the warning is sharper than the crack of a whip. He moves to walk away.

"Why? Not man enough to take the truth of those hurtful words?" Silent fury coats every word in lethal poison as it escapes from my mouth.

His hands bunch. I brace myself instinctively. I can't stop this ugly fight that's coming. "You say you love me but you never tell me anything. Every time I've brought her up, you've brushed it aside like it doesn't even matter. Am I that untrustworthy?" I look down at him for the first time. "I love you, Itachi. You are mine. Your happiness, your joy, your fears, your tears, your laughter, it all belongs to me. And I can't have only the good parts." I shake my head.

"But why should I tell you? Will it change things? Will it bring her back? Will this write her off? Will it help erase how miserable, how inadequate I felt after she went? Sasuke told you one irrelevant fact and now you suddenly want to know everything about her?" Cold, his voice is icy cold. He folds his arms across his chest. "What do you want to know?" he asks, raising a brow in pure anger at me. "Should I start from when things started going wrong or maybe I should rewind things a bit more and talk about the first time I took her on this very sofa?" he has a cold look on his face. There is absolutely no emotion on his face. Then his lips curve to a mirthless smile, aimed at me. "You'd enjoy listening to that, wouldn't you?" My eyes flash murderously when I look at him. My brain feels like a trapped animal.

"Don't," I warn him slowly.

He chuckles bemusedly. "Can't take a taste of your own medicine, can you?" his smile freezes to utter dislike when his eyes meet mine. "You want to know the truth, well here it is. I married Kaede when I was so madly in love with her, I couldn't take a second of being without her. What my twenty-three year-old naïve self didn't know was that marriage includes real problems. Problems your little fantastical brain can't even imagine. And needless to say, we had them in spades. It led to our separation. The end." Icy eyes, eyes so cold, they stab my heart consistently in their hatred. "There, does that answer your question?" he asks. "Ah wait, regardless of how Sasuke painted it, he definitely wasn't the reason we divorced. Does that clear things up?"

"Did you still love her when you separated?" Despite knowing I'm crossing every line between us, I ask him.

"Would it make any difference if I told you I did?" he asks me, so cold, it feels like a wall of ice separates us.

"And now? Do you still feel anything for her?" I ask him.

His brow doesn't furrow, his nostrils don't flair like they do in anger. "What if I told you I do?"

"I need to get out of here," I stand from the sofa and turn towards the corridor. Three steps and I will be out of here. Out of the fear of spewing something so venomous, it could very well split us apart. I need to cool my head. I take one step and his hand holds mine, no usual gentleness to his touch. Immediately I know it's a mistake. He needs to let me go now before I unleash myself. Panic sweeps in like a high tide. "Can you ever forget her?" I ask and he looks up at me sharply, gaze clear. No emotion on his face but his eyes freeze the very breath in my chest at the look I see on his face.

"I won't forget her," he says, each word running clear, no trace of emotion in his voice.

"Why?" I ask him quietly.

"Because she was a part of my life. My better half. And while we may not have ended on good terms, it doesn't erase the good times we had. It may not be easy for you take it in Naruto, but I will never forget her. And if I do, I'll remind myself once more."

"Is that why you have that picture in your drawer?" Words born of that sick mixture of hatred for that woman tumble out.

"What picture?" he asks, frowning at me.

"The picture of you with her in a peach dress. It was hidden in a novel in your drawer." I know how awful this sounds.

"Were you snooping through my drawer?" he asks, his voice incredulous.

"I saw it the day I took the nail clipper." I look away guiltily.

He lets out a huge sigh. "Are you doubting me right now?"

No. No. No. How could I ever think that? But the words stay trapped in my mouth, unable to be voiced.

"Get out." I don't even have the grace to go down on my knees and beg his forgiveness.

One look at his cold, angry eyes as he releases my hand and I find my feet turning towards the corridor. When I'm too far away from him, his voice stops me. "I don't want to see you for a while."

I don't even have it in me to nod in acknowledgment.

Kiyoshi looks at me curiously and I smile at him tightly before I move to the front door.

Hold it together. I chant to myself as I make it out of his front door and the front gate before I'm sprinting through the town like a madman, wanting to destroy everything in my way just like how my curiosity destroyed us. And to think, today Sasuke finally acknowledged us. It feels like being cursed. It feels like it was one of his ugly ploys to separate us. And we played right into his palm.

But that doesn't change the fact that I've been thrown out of a place that is home to me. The fact that it's me who's caused this outweighs everything on my mind. Even now when I want to turn back and beg forgiveness, I cannot take a single step in that direction.

I don't deserve it.

---

Kiba watches me mechanically shove some rice and chicken curry in my mouth. I chew on it with the same expression. "For how long are you going to mope around like that?" Kiba takes a bite of his own food. He makes a face when he looks at my face. I know what he sees. But I haven't told him anything. I can't bring myself to.

I stab a piece of chicken morosely. If he hadn't threatened to call Itachi if I didn't eat, I wouldn't even be here. I'd probably be oblivious to the world in my room, drinking myself to sleep. If I don't, I'll probably go crazy. Sanity stretches by a thin thread these days. And even thinner with Kiba who's taken to mother-henning me. He knows instinctively it's about Itachi. But shame prevents me from talking about it. Especially when Kiba tries to bring it up every turn.

"I'm not moping," I manage to swallow the food and speak.

"Yes, you are. It's been a week since you've been like this. So either you stop moping and tell me what happened or you keep moping and tell me anyway." He grins cheekily.

"I was told to get out of his house."

Kiba guffaws and anger almost snaps my sanity. "What the hell did you do?" Kiba asks, but sobers when he sees my face, crumpled in disgust. "Jesus Christ, Naruto! What the fuck did you do?"

A headache from a rare hangover lingers in my head. I sip some water to quell it. "Something unforgivable."

Kiba puts down his spoon and regards me seriously. I tell him the gist of it, economizing my words to the bare minimum. "Are you mad?"

"Maybe I am. Ugh Kiba! Why did I bring her up?" the tears emerge. "I've always, always avoided talking about her. But that stupid, stupid photograph and what Sasuke told me just exploded inside me. I'm such an idiot! And now he won't take my calls or answer any of my texts."

"Well, what you've done can't be undone. But don't you think you should try apologizing. Who knows, maybe he's waiting," he shrugs lightly.

My head snaps up as I look at him. "Did you meet him?" I ask him. "Is he okay? Did he…did he look okay?" I ask, the flurry of questions rising inside me.

Kiba holds up his hands. "Relax boy!" he laughs when I leap from my chair. "We only spoke over the phone. He called me to remind me to return the books I'd borrowed. They're overdue." He looks at me, "And he asked about you. And if that's not giving you a hint, then you really are an idiot."

"And you're telling me this now?" I look at him with pure anger. "What did he say?" I ask, sitting up. It isn't like my lover to personally call people to remind them of their overdue books. But maybe because Kiba is a dear friend, he was looking out for him? Maybe he happened to come across it while sorting some paperwork and thought to remind Kiba? But he asked about me. Questions dance in my head. And every answer points to one thing.

Maybe Itachi was giving me a chance. What if…what if…?

"Actually, I bribed you to lunch for another reason." I narrow my eyes at him when he looks at me with a mischievous grin. "I'm going to return the manga after this." He looks at me. "Come with?" he asks.

I want to. I so want to. But I stay frozen in my seat, regardless of how much I want to jump from my seat, take his arm and ride the distance in a heartbeat. It's what I've been wanting to do ever since I opened my stupid mouth and asked him about her. I look up at Kiba and slowly shake my head. "I don't deserve him."

Kiba looks at me once and then shakes his head. "Of course you don't!"

I glare at him when his words sound like a curse. "But that doesn't change the fact that he loves you." He gives me a hard look as he swallows. "And that we have less than three weeks left." He lets out a breath.

Tears threaten to choke me up. The thin thread of rationality is just keeping itself together. "So you can either sit here and cry like a helpless baby feeling undeserving or you can go talk to him." Kiba looks angry.

"You think I don't want to?" I snap at him, that threat on its last legs. The anger, the panic bubbles. I need a drink. But our campus cafeteria doesn't sell any. "But I can't. I'm just so stupid!"

Kiba sighs. "While your stupidity can't be treated, this can. But it won't happen if you don't do anything for it."

"You don't understand Kiba! He just…what I said…He doesn't want to see me. Hell, I don't want to see me too. I don't know how to face him. I don't know how to show this ugly side to him."

"Then maybe he's the same, isn't he? Maybe he didn't tell you because he didn't want to show his ugly side either?" Kiba shakes his head at me. "I thought you were supposed to be good at love. But you're probably the worst at it. You can't ask for something you can't return."

"No Kiba. I can't face him." I rub my hands across my face.

"What in the fucking world is stopping you? Just walk up his door and admit to being the biggest jackass that you are," he chuckles. "But I guess you're not going to do that. For all your love sonnets, maybe you are just talk. right?" he sneers me, goading me into giving in, into going along with him.

He truly pricks into the last vestige of my self-control when he shrugs delicately. "I mean, it surely requires those balls I heard you left at his doorstep. Maybe you could go, retrieve them."

My lips pull back as I bare my teeth. "Don't provoke me," I warn him quietly.

Kiba shrugs, standing up. "What will that bring me? Ah, speaking of which," a challenging smile flits across his face as he begins tugging his sunglasses out of his shirt. He picks up his meal tray. "I need to bring the books to Itachi's shop. I'll get going," he waves airily and turns.

"Wait," I stand up and quickly pick up the tray with my barely eaten food. "Let's go together."

Kiba smiles openly. "That's the Naruto I know!" he laughs delightedly.

I manage a snort in response.

---

Kiba picks up another volume of One Piece and hands it to me. My eyes move towards the counter where my Itachi-sama talks to a couple of customers. He is nodding his head to whatever the two people in front of him are talking about. The three are engaged in a quiet conversation. When I'd walked in today, ready to shit my pants in fear, he was already talking to them. Even though he didn't look at me, I'd respectfully bowed and walked to the manga shelves. I glance at him and hurt all over once again. It doesn't help that he wears a midnight blue shirt with his sleeves rolled up, neatly tucked in black trousers. I lift up a finger and run it through the air, wanting to touch him. I know he's aware of my presence. It's simple to detect. His eyes look everywhere but at me. Despite the situation, I like that my presence still affects him.

My eyebrows furrow when they bow and Itachi personally leads them towards the door. "How many did you say we could borrow?" Kiba's voice breaks into my thoughts.

I turn to look at him. "Borrow what?" I ask frowning at being disturbed. I transfer the manga I was holding in my arms to the shelf in front of me, my eyes fixed at the door where those ardent customers start chitchatting again. I huff in anger and slide my eyes away from him to Kiba who makes a sick face at me.

"You look like you're next in the slaughterhouse. Loosen up."

"I know I deserve to be slaughtered for my bullshit but it's still scary! I am nervous!"

Kiba clicks his tongue when he turns to look at where Itachi is still engaged in conversation with those two people who just won't leave, pissing me off further, before he looks back at me and snickers. "And to think you lasted seven days!"

I swallow. "I told you he didn't want to see me!" I turn back to look at Itachi again before I turn to Kiba. "And I don't think he still wants to." I look down suddenly thinking this is very bad idea. "I shouldn't have come. I think, I'll go."

Kiba laughs loudly. Itachi turns to us once. "God you're such a dumbass Naruto! How many people do you think he calls for an overdue reminder? When he called me yesterday, you were the first person he asked about. He didn't even bother with pleasantries." He chuckles, "And though I think he tried to hide it, his voice reeked of desperation."

I nod my chin at the glass doors. Why won't these people go? "Well, ever since I've stepped in here, he hasn't even looked at me!"

"Ugh, you're so annoying!" he makes a face at me. "Then what to do you want to do Naruto? Turn tail and run? And for what? A woman he left?" he cackles annoyingly. "You're no fun!"

I stiffen as I pick up a manga and hand it over to him. "Though I told you I was coming with you, I never said I was going to be fun about it," I make a face at him and he bristles and smacks me on the arm. "Five," I say, pointing to the manga.

Kiba sorts through his pile and Itachi wastes a few more minutes in idle chatter with others. I haven't seen even a strand of his hair in the past seven days. But he just continues talking to them like they're the most interesting people he's ever met. My eyes cut to Kiba as he carefully returns the books he doesn't want to the shelves. A thought strikes me. "Do you two talk on the phone, often?" I ask.

Kiba reads the blurb of a manga titled, "I want to do it, but…" I almost roll my eyes at the seedy title. Kiba looks up and thankfully puts it back in the shelf before moving to another obscene title. "We text each other sometimes," his eyes move up quickly to my face where I know a muscle ticks in my jaw.

"How frequent is sometimes?" I ask him. Normally, I'd be happy about it. But right now anger and impatience run too close to the surface. I'm scared that if I don't keep my mouth moving, I'll be thrusting myself to where he stands to rudely pull him by the hand and physically drag him away.

Kiba somehow grasps my intentions. "Misdirecting your anger at me?" he laughs. "Alright. As frequent as twice a week, maybe? Oh wait, sometimes three days in a row?" he winks.

"What sort of messages?" Kiba snorts loudly when he looks at me.

"If I remember correctly, I was your lover! And what we talk about it none of your business." He laughs again. "Your heart is the size of an ant when it comes to anyone else around him. Shisui must be your Achille's heel!" he pats my shoulder.

I won't deny it since it is somewhat of a truth and that just makes Kiba laugh some more. "You look like you're one second away from wringing someone's neck!" Kiba laughs delightedly.

I slide my hand around his neck. "And if you're not careful sweetheart, it's going to be yours."

He cackles like a banshee even as he taps my arm to let go. "Let go," I only tighten my grip around his neck, redirecting the impatience and anger from elsewhere. Kiba wheezes and I relent. Just a little. "Uncle, you fucker!" he pants harshly when I let him go.

I bend down and ruffle his hair. "Oh, I'll be a daddy Kiba."

Kiba snorts so loudly that I pause for a second to look up still laughing.

All the laughter freezes in my chest when I see Itachi regarding us. I take him in. His midnight blue shirt and black trousers should not look this sexy. His exposed forearms in the rolled up sleeves don't help matters either. That color on him is a weakness of mine. His arms are crossed across his chest when he regards us, his face carefully wiped clean as he glances at me once before relaxing his face into a pleasant smile and walking straight towards Kiba. Kiba straightens and moves to grab Itachi in a hug. Doing something that I'm not allowed is a torture I didn't know I'd be privy to. I glare at Kiba who laughs delightedly.

Itachi doesn't even acknowledge me. He doesn't even nod. I open and close my mouth like a gaping fish and then he's turned his back to me before I know it. Kiba ignores the life-like elephant in the room as he begins stepping on a landmine after another when he engages in his own set of pleasantries. He smiles openly, showing all his teeth as he asks about Kiyoshi. His eyes meet mine once and then the fucker deliberately asks about Shisui. My skin pricks with an ire so strong, I want to punch someone's teeth down their throat. Especially when the two lower their voices and talk something I can't catch. The only thing I hear Kiba saying, "Package delivered," before breaking into his obnoxious laugh. I hate him so much right now. That and the fact that my Itachi-sama doesn't even want to see my face. I almost raise my hand to take his but he crosses his hands across his chest as if anticipating a move. Only to deny it.

I shouldn't have come.

Once done with their talk, Itachi turns his head sideways once, as if to check if I'm still there. I immediately grab the first manga my hand can reach and idly stare at the back, pretending to read the blurb when not a single character makes sense. Then he casually waves a hand towards the counter. "You can just leave the books there," he waves towards the counter. He shifts his head to the side as if checking again to see if I'm still there. "I'll borrow this idiot for a while."

Kiba laughs before he salutes Itachi. "Roger that!" he says with a grin. He snickers when his eyes move to my face and before I can say a single word, Itachi grabs my hand and pulls me towards the store room.

He locks it before he turns to me and immediately, I fall on my knees. "I'm sorry."

He exhales loudly, still standing by the door while I stay at a distance, out of reach. "And?" Cold and furious, it contains nothing of that warm tone he'd used with Kiba. Their encounter burns.

I look at him once. "I was an idiot for saying the things I said."

"What things?" he crosses his arms again. The silver of his watch glints in the light.

"Things you will never hear again."

Itachi's lips tighten as he nods. "I'm sorry too." He looks away. "I could have…should have told you about her. You deserve to know. I always thought I'd do it in due time. Maybe when we were more…stable together. I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. I shouldn't have snapped."

I move to him immediately. "You have nothing to be sorry for! After everything I said that day, I don't think even I want to forgive myself."

"Can I ask you a question?" Itachi stops my spiel. He steps a little away and it hurts more than it should.

"Was the picture in my night drawer the only reason you doubted me?" he asks, his face so tightly controlled, I don't know how I can stand to look at him without dissolving at his feet.

I look down because I know the answer. It's not just the picture. "I don't doubt you, Itachi. I never have and I never could. It's just…Sasuke said the incident with him was the reason for the divorce and it made me think things. With the photograph added to the mix and with how you said you'd never forget her, I just couldn't…"

I haven't seen or touched or felt this man for seven days and it's all my undoing. But seven days have changed things. There are things I know now. Things like how the only snatches of sleep I've had, have been boosted by alcohol. That it's hard to not panic or imagine the worst. I haven't spent these seven days only going crazy with the need to see him, to be with him again. I've spent them facing nightmares of a future to come. And it's taught me one thing. It's taught me how desperately dependent I am on him. How much I want to monopolize them. The thought of her shadow lingering on this family I've built with them, it's almost impossible to live with it.

"Couldn't stop thinking the worst of me? Why didn't you ask me about it instead of speculating alone? This is my life we're talking about Naruto. Talk to me."

"I've never been bothered by her before and you know that. And honestly, the photograph wouldn't have bothered me, if it had ended up somewhere in the bottom-most drawer of your study, half-eaten by moths." Itachi lets out a snort at that even though I keep my face straight. "She didn't affect me all. In fact, all I'd felt was gratitude because…" I look up at him. "She's the reason we have Kiyoshi and because she gave me…you." Itachi nods and inhales deeply but doesn't say a word. He perches on the floor, his back against the storage door, his legs stretched out in immaculate midnight black pants in front of him. Goddamn, he is beautiful! I stretch out opposite him, my feet against the door.

"Honestly, a part of me doesn't want to know. The most primitive instinct in me fought with curiosity that day, even when I asked about her. I'm scared I'll lose my rationality if I hear about her. But keeping my feelings for her regarding you aside, Sasuke told me about the kind of woman she is and I just…I know it's none of my business but I never want you to see her again. Hell, I never want Kiyoshi to see his mother again. That's the kind of man I am, Itachi. I can be this disgusting to want them to never meet. I am this kind of a monster."

"I have days when I don't want them to ever meet either." He looks down and fidgets with his hands. "I know what I feel for him, what you feel for him is nothing but a protective streak. But it makes me think I'm a terrible father. That maybe I'm a monster too. But I know, if he'll ever ask, I'll give him the truth. And if he wants to see her, I'll take him. I won't ever deprive him of his right to know." He smiles at me. "So man up for that day Uzumaki Naruto, because you'll be coming along."

"I'm sorry," A sob works its way up my throat but I swallow it down. Just like that, I've been forgiven.

"I know," he holds out a hand and beckons me with it. I scramble to move instantly. But rather than pulling me to him, he makes me sit beside him, shoulder to shoulder. It's how we always sit. Beside each other. His hand snakes behind him, his hand moving to my head and softly touching my hair in a practiced manner, almost out of habit. I lean my head back on it and look at him.

"If I am ever this stupid again, please just beat some sense into me, okay! There are times when I'm just controlled by useless thoughts," I look at him earnestly, "but snap me back to reality. That's all I want."

"I thought we'd limit violence to the bedroom?" he asks me seriously.

I look at him for a bewildered second. "I'm being serious."

"As am I." His voice is dead serious but his lips twitch a little.

I huff in anger and he only lets out a small smile. "What sort of other useless thoughts exit in here?" his hand playing with my hair, poke the back of my skull rudely. He pokes the area twice.

"Anything that involves you. I lose my sense of reasoning where you're involved Itachi. I know it's not healthy. It's not good." I smile when his eyes widen and he looks at me. Never ask for something, you can't return. I can't believe I'm recalling Kiba's words right now, but how can I ask anything from him when I don't show my vulnerabilities? "But when I'm with you, it's like I can't seem to catch the ground beneath my feet."

There is so much I want to say. To tell him. These seven days felt like a preview to my life three weeks away from now. "I've only and only and only thought about you. I've only thought about how I'm going home but home to me now is the place where we exist. Our little family exists. That day, the reason I wanted to know about her was only because I wanted to know how you would be when I left. What I'd be leaving behind."

Itachi smiles. "So you trailblazed into something we both have no control over? And comparing yourself to her? Fuck Naruto, sometimes you're so annoying, I want to cause physical damage!" He sighs as he makes an angry gesture. "But now that I think about it, it's not your fault for the assumption either." He says, rationalizing my shit. "You were presented things this way. It's only natural to come to this conclusion."

"Your reasoning with this mistake isn't going to wipe away the fact that I was so horrible to you."

"No. But I'm glad you did," he cracks a small smile. "I wasn't lying about never forgetting her. But if it helps, I'd forgotten it was there. The photograph I mean."

I nod. "Will you tell me about her someday when you're ready?" I ask him.

"Someday, I promise." He smiles and then moves to gather me in his arms. "Your imagination is super scary," he manages a low chuckle.

"Then you better not give me ideas."

He looks up at me. "Too bad, I had a few in mind," he laughs throatily. His head moves to mine. "We wasted seven days, you have to make up for it."

"It'll be a pleasure, Itachi-sama."

"But I'm serious about this. We're not going back and digging up my past again till I do it, okay? I've let it go, I've let her go. And now she's happy in her life, while I'm ecstatic in mine." He narrows those beautiful eyes at me. "Doubt me again and I swear I'll skin the very flesh from your bones!" He flicks me on the forehead expertly.

I recoil, terrified at the anger I see in his eyes. "Noted."

"And to think I'd done nothing to deserve it! Each time I think about it, I get so mad, I want to rip out your hair. Next time you see something, you come up to me and talk about it." He rudely clicks his tongue and flicks me on the forehead. "Such irrelevant shit!"

"Okay, putting that aside, how is Kiyoshi? Did he ask about me? Did he miss me?" I ask him.

Itachi narrows his eyes at me. "Whoa! Not even a "how are you" to me, huh! Amazing." He looks at me disbelievingly. "Honestly, who do you love more? Me or him?" he looks at me quite shocked at his own words. He blushes when he looks down.

"You sounded like Sasuke just now," my stupid mouth has him widening his eyes as he regards me.

An unexpected chuckle leaves his mouth when he looks at me. "Well, I am his elder brother Naruto-kun!"

"Ah yes, coming to that…" I clear my throat and look at him. "Sasuke, he…uh…"

"Made his peace with you? Yeah, you told me. What about it?" He looks at me quizzically, wondering why I'm talking about it.

"You and I fought because of him, again. I'm not sure I want us to be friends." I answer slowly. The ugliness between us just keeps worsening.

Itachi tenses. "Has he tried talking to you after that day?" his voice is that frozen shade of anger.

I shake my head. He's texted me twice but it was only to ask if I was at home. I didn't tell him anything about the fight. He might have sensed something but I like that he's keeping his nose out of my business with Itachi and not spoken anything about it. "Nothing much," I tell him about the texts.

"I don't know if it's a good idea. I know I don't have the right, but when it comes to you two, I don't trust him. I can't trust him. Not with you. Never with you." He sounds like he's giving me a weakness of his, willing me to accept him with it. I'm an idiot for the stupid thoughts in my head.

"I won't talk to him if that makes you uncomfortable."

Itachi gives me a troubled look. "That's not what I mean to say. It's just...I don't think I trust his…intentions." He looks away. "But what's between you two is strictly your business. Only I hate that it indirectly involves me. I hate that he made me choose," he looks at me, "made us choose. This was simply unfair!"

That's right. It was Sasuke who made us choose. I was forced to choose between them too, wasn't I? But then my mind stops at what he said when I look at him with wide eyes.

Made us choose.

His words rid me of a burden I didn't know I was carrying on my shoulders. Even though Sasuke told me clearly that I was nothing like her, it isn't till I hear these words from Itachi's mouth that I realize how much I wanted him to say it to me. The validation, I craved.

"Please tell me I'm nothing like her," I ask in a frantic whisper.

"Damn Naruto! What the hell is wrong with you? Don't make me beat the shit out of you!" he looks at me threateningly.

"I thought you were only going to allow violence in the bedroom?" I ask rhetorically, looking at him straight in the eye. "Answer the damned question so that I can put her behind us, once and for all."

"I'm inclined to take you to our bedroom and beat the shit out of you for being so infuriating! You're nothing like her. She is smart for one, you're not."

I don't know why I laugh at the insult, but it melts some of the anger from his face. "But I'm hotter!" I wink, producing a finger heart for him. My narcissism that maddens him no end shines through. He hates that he can't refute it. It pricks his ire some more.

"Ask me bullshit like this again and I swear I'll staple your mouth shut!

I grab him again in a bone-crushing hug. "So much violence today, Itachi-sama," I tsk in disappointment. "I thought you'd be creative with your ways of keeping me quiet," I wink at him. "Because I can go on and on and-"

He grabs my face and kisses me on the mouth in punishment. "Idiot."

I let out a full-blown laugh.

"Can I ask you a question?" I love that smile which flits across his face when he looks at me. I know how much he likes my taking permission.

"In these twenty-one days would you prefer to lock me in a room or let me go anywhere I wanted to?" I ask him.

"Personally, I'd have liked to lock you up but I know how much you like to go places. I'd never hold you back from anything." He smiles. I smile at his answer, knowing I'd guessed it right from the get go. But this is more important.

"Anything?" I ask him.

"Anything." He promises.

"Would you…" I swallow the thick lump in my throat. "Would you be okay letting me go?"

It's our moment of truth. The moment where he answers the question that burns.

He smiles quietly at me. "I think I'll be okay. In fact, I know I will be."

"How do you know?"

"Because we won't lose our way to each other." I turn around and straddle him. His face moves closer, desperate for the kiss that's to come. His eyelashes lower, casting shadows on his cheeks. A sight I love.

"I love you Itachi-sama."

"Your brain may have a mind of its own Naruto but I fucking love you too!" Itachi swearing is such a rare occurrence in our normal everyday mundane life that it makes me chuckle in surprise.

Our breaths mingle, the familiar softness of his lips touches mine. I've gone seven days without feeling this touch. His arms around me rebrand themselves on my skin when he brings his mouth closer. I anticipate the kiss with renewed passion.

"Please stop whatever you're doing before I throw up!" Kiba's voice is clearly audible. The bastard was eavesdropping!

"What the fuck! Go away Kiba!" I shout to the door. But Kiba just stands there, making no signs to move.

He just knocks on the door incessantly and laughs when he hears me swear. "Let's go celebrate fuckers!" Kiba says, making that thin, fragile of sanity snap.

It takes all of two seconds to stand up from Itachi's warm body before I haul him up and pull him to the side. His face is torn between a comical expression of anticipation and apprehension. He's adorable. "This fucker has had it from you!" I say, unlocking the door and yanking it open.

Kiba's eyes slide to Itachi's. "The back of the door isn't really the blind spot, Itachi," he lightly reprimands and color blooms across Itachi's cheeks. I know he's talking about the security cameras.

Rationality leaves me completely when I yank him closer. "Run Kiba," it's Itachi's voice. It centers me from that haze of red that has nothing to do with the pink of my lover's cheeks.

Kiba gives me a look and my hands bunch into fists. "Why?" Kiba's voice is so relaxed, so amused, he looks like he doesn't give a shit about this.

"Because my golden retriever has gone feral."

Kiba laughs, surprising me, making me loosen my grip. He yanks his t-shirt from my grasp and makes a run for it. I chase him to the glass doors till he runs out, still laughing like a fucking hyena. I stop at the doors and lock them instead, before coming back to the storage.

We have seven days to catch up on.

My eyes meet his and I grin. He grins back and begins taking off his pants.

It's time we get started.

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