Damon groans as he feels the sun's warmth on his face. "Urrgh, it can't be morning already" he mutters to himself. After the craziness of the previous evening, It felt like he'd only fallen asleep 10 minutes ago. Laying in bed, he contemplates whether to force himself out of bed as his level of consciousness slowly increases. Onyx snuggles in the curve of his neck, her tiny belly rising and falling.
For a brief moment, he considers calling in sick to laze around in bed all day but quite honestly, it's probably in his best interests to stick to his routine. Finally, he throws back the covers and stands slouched beside the bed, his hair in a frightful mess. Shaking his head, he shuffles past his mirror and yawns his way down the hall to the kitchen in search of a much-needed cup of coffee.
On the way to work, that feeling erupts in his stomach again, a soft mixture of nausea and electric tingles. It's hard but he tries to push away his thoughts about last night's disaster with his family. Next time, he'll try to arrange a meet-up with just his mom and dad rather than the whole family.
As soon as he arrives at the station, he parks his car, goes inside to clock in, and picks up his keys to begin today's deliveries. The morning wears on, he nods his head or says hi to people who pass him on the sidewalk. He even stops to chat with an older man when the guy's dog practically knocks him over before giving him a tongue bath. Damon had a good and genuine belly laugh, something that's been sorely lacking in his life for a very long time.
When he parks his car in Elena's neighborhood, his head begins to buzz and his heart rate increases as if he's already run a marathon. Even though he's walking it feels more like the sidewalk is a conveyor belt, like he's a cow in the slaughterhouse about to meet his executioner.
Approaching Elena's house, he tries to shake off the anxiety but his mouth feels like a giant cotton ball. She's certainly found the package by now. What if she comes outside to confront him?
Blowing out a breath, he gets a handle on his emotions, willing himself not to panic. His heart is in his throat as he steps inside her gate to place her mail in the box. Pulling the lid down, he sets the mail inside and closes it up again.
He feels a strange contradiction, he's both disappointed and relieved that the house is as silent as it was last night. Why would she be waiting for him? He's nothing more than a fragment of fire, barely a cinder really.
Perhaps he's finally succeeded in driving her away for good...
Isn't that exactly what he wants?
The room is silent and dark. He closes the door and slides down it. A beam of light shines in under the door blocked only by his body that's leaning against it. The soft walls are unable to drown out the thunder as it rolls overhead with the fury of the gods.
Damon ducks with each thunderous boom. He knows it's ridiculous but he can't help it. Suddenly another burst of thunder seems to crack the air, as if the very heavens might split apart. It rolls like the ash of a volcano, becoming a rolling booming rumble. All the lights go out and several seconds pass before the auxiliary power kicks in.
His gut is on fire as salty droplets flow down his face as he curls into a ball, his arms cradling his belly. Right before his very eyes, his room becomes a dark forest. The trees are veiled in the lightest of mists, their trunks somber brown with sable cracks that gnarl the bark.
As his eyes travel to the edge of the woodland they become silhouettes against a blanket of white, as if it is only daylight where he stands. His hallucinations are getting progressively less amusing.
The door pushes open and two guys in white pick him up and carry him to another room where he's surrounded by nothing but surgical white. He doesn't know what's happening to him, he doesn't know if it's real or not, till he feels the sharp prick of a needle. Dots form in his vision before it blackens completely transporting him into a drug-induced slumber.
Elena's hands are shaking as she finishes another letter, only now realizing how difficult a read it was because her eyes are swimming in tears. Damon's words, his notes, and observations, she can see all of it through his own eyes. And it's not a pretty sight.
Last night she couldn't fall asleep after stumbling through the first pages, it is difficult to imagine what Damon must have gone through to stand here, a new person. Elena could hardly focus at school and felt relieved when her last class was canceled and she was able to leave early.
She skipped lunch and dodged Caroline's call, arriving home less than thirty minutes after her latest lesson which must have been a record. Elena grabs a beer in the fridge but pauses, choosing a cool water bottle instead.
Here she is reading Damon's letters. The first is dated almost two years ago. She can easily recall it even though she hasn't read it for over a year.
Dearest Elena,
I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye when I left, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you but it's for the best. I wish I could undo all the wrong I've inflicted, I wish I could liberate you from the painful memories but I can't. So I'm doing the next best thing, the only thing that makes sense. I'm setting you free.
Please don't worry about me... somehow I'll be alright. More importantly, you need to be alright, too.
Have a happy life.
He didn't even put his signature on this short message and although deep down she knew this was his goodbye she held onto a slight glimmer of hope he'd be back one day.
But it's been too long...
She nearly jumps as her mailbox clacks and she becomes aware of the sound of his truck on the street. Her heart quickens its pace as she watches the familiar figure outside.
She wants to run out and talk to him.
She wants that so much but... she knows for sure she'd break down and give him a scare. He doesn't deserve it after being so brave a strong to come back and start a new life.
One day she will tell him how proud she is.
She just needs to finish his letters and figure out what'd be the right thing to say.
Behind the curtain, her eyes follow him until his mail truck disappears down the street.
Damon wipes the sweat off his brow when he pulls into the postal station to drop off his vehicle for the day. Walking inside, he stoops over to take a long pull from the water fountain then continues down the hall to turn in his keys and clock out. After doing so, he steps inside Ric's office to touch base with him.
"Damon, have a seat. I've been meaning to talk to you."
"Is something wrong?" Damon asks, preferring to stay standing.
"No, nothing like that. I just wanted to ask how you're doing ask if you have any concerns?"
"I had a few words with Rose but hopefully that's the end of it. I'm doing okay, I would prefer not to have Elena in my route..."
"If another opens up, I'll keep you in mind. And I'll say again if Rose doesn't back off, I'll bring her in here."
"I'll let you know... Listen, I need to go," Damon's pointing at the door behind him with his thumb.
"Okay, I'll walk you to your car."
Damon wants to snap at him that he doesn't need a babysitter but bites the words back before they come spilling from his lips. He nods and Ric follows him outside.
Unlocking his car, Damon pauses to face his friend. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Maybe you can come over for supper one of these days. Jenna would love to see you."
"I'm really not in the socializing mood yet but tell her hello."
"I understand," he steps back, giving Damon a mock salute as he pulls out of his parking spot and drives off.
Originally Damon intended to go straight home to Onyx, maybe take a swim in one of the complex's pools but after the chat with Ric, he feels like he needs to go a few rounds with Enzo.
Just as he's approaching the place, he notices Enzo who appears to be locking the door. Pulling up alongside the curb, he rolls down the passenger side window.
"You closed?" he calls aloud, watching as Enzo turns around.
"Damon, hi," he walks over to the car, leaning down to look in the window.
"Yeah, I need a different kind of distraction tonight. You want to join me?"
"Join you?" Damon echoes.
"Yeah, we can get some food, maybe play a little pool?"
"Why not? Get in," Damon waits for him to sit down. "Where to?"
"Do you know where the Belle Bee Tavern is?"
"A bar?" Damon pauses with his hand on the gear shift. When Enzo nods, he blows out a breath and drives, making a few turns till they arrive at the establishment. As soon as he parks the car, they go inside and take a booth. The waitress approaches almost immediately, handing each of them a menu, and then asks about drink orders.
Damon's about to speak when Enzo interrupts and orders a pitcher of water and a virgin bloody Mary for each of them. The blonde girl, Callie smiles, leaves coasters and napkins then moves to the next booth.
"Can I ask you something?" Damon scans their surroundings, his nerves are jumping all over and in different directions. His foot is bouncing a steady cadence against the floor.
"Sure," Enzo nods, his fingers circling the coaster.
"In a roundabout way, you've hinted that you know what I'm going through... so why here?" It's a bar," Damon looks around to take in all the muted colors of the bottles and the glitter then finds every spark of light. His mouth starts to water and he fists his hand, relaxing it only when he feels Enzo's on his forearm.
"Breathe, Damon..."
Slowly, the panic and anxiety attack begins to ebb away, and yet his hands still tremble slightly when he fills a glass with ice after the waitress delivers it. Trepidation swells through him as he slowly raises his eyes yet again to meet Enzo's.
"The food is good here, Damon. And besides, I like the ambiance, the bartender is a friend of mine. I can't explain it exactly but sometimes I just need to be in a place like this. Maybe it's only to remind myself of what it did to me, I almost died a couple of times. The second time they woke me, I had a tube in my mouth and I was in the ICU. That was the last time."
"I'm going to go outside for a smoke, order me whatever you're having," Damon hurries out of the bar and around the side of the building into the alley. For now, cigarettes seem to help him cope, so he lights up, taking a long drag as he leans against the brick wall. One knee raises and he presses his boot flat against it. His mind drifts to her and he feels the stab as if barbed wire is closing around him. He stares at the butt between his fingers. It is almost short enough to burn him. With an effort, he leans forward to crush it out.
He stands up straight, about to go back inside when he hears Enzo's voice.
"It never quite goes away but it does get easier."
"You think so?" Damon drops his eyes to his boots.
"I know so," Enzo moves to the wall beside him and lights up his own cigarette. "What's your motivation?" he asks after a while. He knows from experience, that everyone has to hold onto something.
Turning his head, Damon looks at him considering his options. Frankly, he has no idea why he's even considering confiding in Enzo, rather than any of the people that will give him a helping hand without a second thought. It takes a few minutes, his new friend lazily blowing off puffs of smoke, no pressure... It feels liberating when he finally speaks.
"There's this girl, her name is Elena..."
Elena's day is going slowly, but steadily she's getting things done which she takes as a good omen. The daze she's been in is slowly clearing. She'd been able to get through her morning classes without a glitch although she couldn't say her mind was only on the lessons. There's one more after lunch then she'll be done for the day.
She's just finishing unpacking her lunch bag when a voice sounds over the intercom.
"Elena?"
"Yes, Henry, it's me. Is everything okay?" The friendly security guy is the most conscientious guard they could wish for. The kids respect him and they can also confide in him when they get into trouble.
"There's a fine-looking lady waiting for you, I asked her the name but she didn't respond... Commented that she didn't want to go inside and asked if you have a few minutes."
"Okay, Henry, I'll be right there."
She pushes away her sandwich and locks the office. Hurrying outside she's thinking of who the woman might be. Probably someone's caring mom?
As she passes Henry's office, she gives him a nod and looks around to find her visitor. This is the last person she'd ever expect to seek her out...
"Katherine..." Elena remarks as she runs her fingertip over the small diamond-encrusted sand dollar pendant Damon slipped into her mailbox.
"Elena." Damon's big sister feigns a fake smile and for a moment Elena's worried she'll go for a hug. She doesn't. "Good to see you."
She'd try to return the sentiment but somehow she can't find it in her. There's never been any love lost between the two of them, mostly because Elena refused to take any bullshit from her, from anybody for that matter. Nor has she ever felt compelled to listen to her just because she is older.
"Katherine." She just can't figure out why she's here or what she could possibly want. Or... "Did something happen?" To Damon?
"No, of course not... My brother's back, which you already know."
She's looking for information.
"Yes, I do. We really haven't talked..."
"He told me as much," Katherine nods, looking satisfied.
"Katherine, why are you here? I still have classes..."
"I can see you're still wearing the ring," she wrinkles her nose, eyes focusing on Elena's left hand. "Did you tell my brother?"
Naturally, it would come to this...
"That is none of your business."
"Well," Katherine takes offense, "if that's how you want it..."
"It never has been, Kat, but you made it perfectly clear since the very beginning that you didn't consider me a suitable partner for your brother. Don't you have your own family now to worry about? And why am I still your concern? How is Elijah? And Klaus?"
"Kol told you, right!?" Kat fumes and Elena can't make sense of it.
"Told me what? Look, I have no idea what you expect from me. Yes, I saw Damon, only briefly. I suggest you go to him if you want information. And Kol didn't tell me anything about you. Believe it or not, I have more important things to think about than how you live your life and to be frank, I don't care."
"Why would you..." She huffs, jerks her head, and without so much as a goodbye, moves away briskly.
Elena's looking after her contemplating what just happened.
She can't let her antagonize Damon.
She won't.
Thank you all for reading.
Chapter title: It Never Gets Easier by JFla
I am only reading CosmicAdventurers' stories now. Her mind is a multiverse of imagination. Some of my favorite oldies are written by Florencia7 (All of hers), A Christmas Carol by Siberia21, A Summer Romance by Jaybunzy0, Anyone Else But You by Wilb, Wrong Place, Wrong Time by Tamilnadu09, Self Inflicted Wounds by mchriste22. The Missing Piece of Me by Lauren3210. (This is the only story that drew tears from me.) You Found Me by asdfghjklb. His Best Girl by tsukikomew is a feel-good story to read when needing a pick-me-up. The Secret Faces of Damon Salvatore by littleSophie, Shiver by lillypilly11. All of Morvamp's stories are amazing. ChelletheBelle. JustiniaKorax. I Never Knew Love by Mercedes88 (incomplete) Echoes of the Past by wolverine99.
One of my readers is from Brooklyn and there may be others, too. Please keep her and NYC in your thoughts as they're having terrible flooding. Their Governor has declared a state of emergency.
Have a wonderful weekend.