Still holding Kayla tight even though her tears had subsided, Steve made no move to get in the driver's seat and get them to the reception or back to the house. As much as he wanted to put this heavy morning to bed, be home, and curl up on the couch with his wife, anxiety thrummed through him, remembering her words to him earlier. She didn't want to bring this into their home or turn it or the Salem Inn into a personal confessional. Mindful of that, Steve stayed in place, holding her in the back of their car, and just hoped whatever she had left to say wouldn't leave him as scared and her as shaky as he knew and felt she was right now.

"Sweetness…"

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't, Kayla," Steve interrupted. Shutting his eye, he shook his head, letting out a slow breath as Kayla sat up, wiping her eyes.

"Steve-"

"If I'd been apologizing after you found me by that wall, you'd have torn me a new one, baby," he said knowingly, getting a nod.

"You're right," Kayla rasped. "I would've."

"I get why you didn't want to rush outta here, Sweetness. Looks better having a panic attack in a cemetary than in the middle of a buffet line."

"Steve-"

"I'm serious, Sweetness. There are worse places to break down in front of than a pretty brick garden wall."

When she didn't even roll her eyes or snap or scold him, just shook her head before looking down and away, guilt kicking in, Steve reached to hold her face.

"I'm not trying to make light, Kayla. But you and I crumbling a little. If it had to happen, I'm glad it happened here. Nobody else around to see us falling down. Us being able to help each other back up."

Gently tilting Kayla's face up, needing her to see him, he gave her a soft smile.

"I love you so much, Sweetness. Have I told you that yet today?"

"You don't have to tell me. I-"

"I do, baby. I swore that I'd tell you every single day, and after all that time went by that I couldn't say it-"

Shaking his head, when Kayla reached over to hold the side of his face, Steve clasped his hand over the back of hers, kissing her palm before turning back to her.

"You found your way back, though, Sweetness. You picked locks, you left your necklace," he said, nodding to the gold anchor around her neck. "You calling Stephanie is what got me to Greece and that lab. And you busted out of there, baby. Away from the DiMeras, out of the Great Beyond. You brought yourself back, and it didn't take you sixteen years either," he said proudly, kissing her on the forehead only to pull back and see her eyes were still clouded over.

"Kayla..."

"I know it didn't take sixteen years. I… it didn't even take six months. But does that even make a difference?"

"Baby, what are you saying? Of course-"

"It was still time that we lost, Steve. Time that you and our kids spent grieving for no reason. Thinking that I was dead and buried, right over there!" she scoffed, pointing past the parking lot.

"I know that pain, Steve. And waking up only to realize that you and our kids were going through it, I-"

When her voice broke, tears stinging his eye, Steve reached over and stroked her hair.

"We survived it, though, Sweetness. Getting you back, we got lucky enough to get on the other side of it-"

"But it never should've happened!" Kayla cut in. "And knowing that it did, that it had?"

Shaking her head, she looked down and away.

"I felt so helpless. I just had to lie there in that lab knowing that you were out there picking up the pieces and moving on, and-"

"Moving on?" Steve interrupted. "Baby, did you just..."

When he shifted away and his voice trailed off, Kayla looked up and frowned curiously at him.

"Steve?"

"After three months, you thought I...that I'd have-" he muttered.

Shaking his head and running his hand over his face, Steve turned in the seat to stare straight ahead as Kayla looked on nervously. She'd had a hard time hearing him but could see him looking as stricken as if she'd reached over and hit him.

"Steve, what is it? I-"

"Three... months, Kayla," he growled, loud enough for her to hear this time.

"Steve-"

"You wanna check my arithmetic, baby?" he laughed mirthlessly. "Go take a walk up the path towards the rosebushes there. We had the date carved on the marble all nice and pretty."

Shifting away again as Kayla tried to shift closer to him, he shook his head.

"Used a big font too so this old one-eyed dude could see it. Figure out when it was just the right time to move on," he mocked as Kayla bit her lip.

"Could've found a place like the Heart again, maybe. Shoot some pool again. Start picking up the pieces by picking up prospects."

"Okay, enough, Steve. I-"

"Timing would've worked out great for the 14th, Sweetness," he scoffed, turning towards his wife to see her eyes flood with hurt before icing over.

"Shack up with someone in a suite for Valentine's? One with one of those big old heart-shaped beds-"

Met with a slap across the face that he knew he'd earned, hurt flooding his eye now, Steve watched as Kayla wrestled the door open and exited the car.

Following suit, he followed her as she stalked off towards the church lawn. Ignoring him until he was close enough behind where she couldn't anymore.

"Sweetness-"

"Don't call me that."

"Kayl-"

"Not when we're mad!" Kayla shouted, turning back towards him. "You know not to call me that when we're mad!"

"So, moved on a little too quickly for your liking then, baby?" Steve mocked.

"It was a slip of the tongue! What the hell was your excuse!" Kayla shot back as he shrugged, adjusting his patch.

"A long fucking morning turning me into a fucking son of a-."

"Quit the swearing, damn it! We're in front of a church!" she hissed.

"You're the one who didn't want to bring this home, baby!"

"For good reason! Clearly!"

Shaking her head, Kayla ran her hand through her hair, letting out a slow breath.

"That couple across the hall would've called the cops on us by now," she scoffed.

"Yeah," Steve scoffed back. "If Mrs. MacCluskey next door hadn't beaten them to the punch."

When he adjusted his patch again, as if she didn't already know how on edge he was, Kayla walked up to him, sniffing back tears as she reached over to rub his arm.

"You know, it just slipped out, right? I never...I didn't mean to-"

"I know, Sweetness," Steve sighed. "Same as you know that mean still slips outta me sometimes."

"Baby…"

Reaching up, Kayla curled her fingers into Steve's beard.

"I never meant to imply that you'd…at the Heart. Or that by the time our anniversary rolled around that you'd be- "

"Beer-drunk on the couch and going through our wedding album. Cause if you implied that, you'd be right."

"Steve-" she whimpered.

"I know a lot can happen in three months, Sweetness. And what it's like when you're trapped someplace with nothing to do but think," Steve sighed as she nodded.

"Yeah. I felt more hurt and helpless in that chamber than I did on my supposed deathb-"

Stopping herself before more words she couldn't take back slipped out, Kayla pulled Steve into a hug and apologized against his chest.

Shaking his head, after a beat, he took a step back so he could see her.

"Baby, all the times you patched me up, pulled my brain back from the edge. You know I'm gonna return the favor for you as long as you need. You know that," Steve assured, stroking her hair.

"Richer for poorer. Sickness and in health."

"Reciting our vows? Is this some kind of penance for the swearing?" Kayla weakly joked, giving Steve a soft smile that he tried to return but didn't quite reach his eye.

"You used that trick on me when I was in a pretty dark place, baby. Had you working overtime to get me to come back to my senses."

"In Tinda Lau. I remember."

"Parts of that trip are a little hazy, but I know we were down there for a few months in that hut."

"Three months," Kayla said. "Like you said, a lot can happen."

"It's true. That was enough time to get you back to life. Give me mine back."

Soft smile reaching his eye now, Steve took hold of Kayla's face with both hands.

"Not much room for moving on when that's in the mix, Sweetness."

"I know. I'm just saying, though, that if you had, I... I wouldn't have held it against…"

"Kayla-"

"You know I'd want you to be happy! And if that happiness involved someone else-"

"Who, baby?" Steve cut in. "You know anyone who'd wanna be with an old one-eyed dude who-"

"Steve-"

"Who's never gonna belong to or with anyone besides his wife?" he asked, sitting on the step leading into the church.

"Wouldn't have mattered if three months or three decades went by, Kayla. The idea of being with anyone else just-"

"Just what?"

"It would've felt like cheating, Sweetness. Same as it did every other-"

"Every other? Steve, you haven't-"

"You forgetting when I was a good little DiMera foot soldier, baby? The other women we talked about in Cinci?" he reminded.

When his voice trailed off, and he stared straight ahead, letting out a sad sigh, Kayla moved to sit beside him on the step.

"You mean the other women Nick Stockton talked about?" Kayla countered. "The guy who kept it casual, who never got too close. Walked around for over a decade looking just like you."

"Kayla, I was-"

"You didn't know who you were, Steve. You didn't know who I was. I...it may as well have been Cleveland all over again!" she snorted. "And that history, that part of the past, I think we can both stay moved on from it so long as we both steer clear of Ohio!"

"Baby…"

Her small smile fading at the pain in his voice, slipping her arm around him, Kayla kissed the side of his head.

"I'm not trying to make light. I just-"

"I know you aren't, Sweetness. This is something I don't wanna bring home, though," he said.

Biting her lip, Kayla shook her head. "I know that you already do," she said as Steve turned to face her.

"Someone can just say Ava's name in front of us, and I see the look you get in your eye when they do. It's subtle, especially around Tripp, but it's there. And when we were coming back from visiting Joey at Christmas, had to make that emergency landing at CVG."

"It was only a five hour drive to Salem in that rental car, Kayla."

"In a blizzard," Kayla reminded. "It didn't even matter to you that the airport was in Kentucky!"

"It's got Cincinnati in the title, baby."

"You never want to see us back there. I don't either. I just wish you'd stop putting yourself back there. Beating yourself up over- "

"Betraying you? That's the name you gave it, baby," Steve said roughly, flashing on their son's first day home and every tearful word his wife had said. "You telling me I can't use it, too?"

"I told you it felt like a betrayal. It felt like I was punched in the gut. It felt horrible. But I know you never wanted me to feel that way."

Seeing a lone tear slide down her husband's cheek, reaching over, Kayla thumbed it away before running her thumb under his patch, only to have Steve pull back.

Not calling him on it, knowing he'd talk when he was ready, she simply sat beside him and waited before he cleared his throat and spoke.

"You know there's nights we're lying in bed, you're asleep all snuggled up with me and I'm stroking your hair. And I know that we're together and I know that we're fine, but I'll still get hit with that guilt, Sweetness." he admitted, turning to face her.

"From the first day this eye saw you... I knew, baby. Us being together now doesn't mean I still don't think about all the time that we weren't. All the time wasted when I was off with someone who wasn't you."

When his voice broke off, shushing him, Kayla reached to hold his face, then tilted his chin up to be sure he'd see her.

"I'd be a liar if I said I didn't think about it, too. But you have to know, when you told me about the other women, about Ava. I never felt cheated on. I just felt cheated. Cheated out of a life with you and time together that we earned and wanted more than anything. That was taken from us, Steve. It was something that happened, and it happened to the both of us," she said firmly as he shook his head.

"Africa didn't just happen, baby."

"I think in a way, it did," Kayla shrugged. "Moving to a new continent with a brand new baby. It's enough of a test for a couple that isn't having problems. I was the one pushing for a fresh start after I got shot. You were the one who wanted to stay in Salem. And if there hadn't been that threat, I know you'd have stayed in Africa, too."

"You didn't know that then, though, Kayla. And it wasn't like I was giving anything away," Steve said bitterly.

"It wasn't like I was either. Picking fights and being angry was easier than admitting I made a mistake. And I had more than enough time to admit it before the night you left. If it had just been me you left behind, I'd have jumped in our Jeep and gone after you."

"But it wasn't just you," he sighed as Kayla's eyes filled with tears.

"After all the time you lost with Stephanie, after we nearly lost…our son adored you. He got old enough to follow you around like your little shadow and love you as much as I do. Even when we were in the middle of all of our bullshit, I'd look at you and Joey together and I felt like we'd find our way back. And when we didn't…when you left...I didn't understand, and I was so goddamn angry, I didn't want to. Looking back though, if I'd tried-"

"You thought I walked out on you and our baby boy, Kayla. And I didn't even give you all the facts to prove any different."

"I wish you'd told me about the threat. I'd earned that. But I know you enough to know why you didn't. And I should've known there was more to the story. Every time we've been separated, there's always been more to the story!"

"Sweetness," Steve sighed. "I know you wear rose-colored readers sometimes, but you thought I was dead, baby. You got signed divorce papers. Neither of those scenarios say my husband's still out there and wants me back," Steve pointed out as Kayla bit her lip, hearing too much logic in the argument for her to argue back.

"You were out there, though," she said after a beat. "And I left you there. My husband, soulmate, my best friend. The love of my life. You were out there while I was just…"

"What, baby? Taking a walk in the park? Kayla, you were becoming a doctor, you were helping your mama. Raising our little Sweetness and our little dude. Hell, you even were keeping an eye on Tripp."

"I was doing what had to be done, Steve. Getting through life. Not having the will to live it being tortured out of or taken away from me for years on end!"

"You're still the strongest woman I know, Sweetness," Steve said, stroking her hair as she sniffled, snuggling into his side.

"And you're still the best and strongest man who ever lived."

"Think if that brick garden wall could talk it would tell you different," he scoffed as Kayla sat up, eyes narrowed.

"We've been over this, Steve Johnson. What you said about my tearing you a new one if you-"

"Okay, okay. Uncle. It just slipped out, alright?"

"Should it stay here and out of our home, too?" Kayla asked, getting a shrug that gave her her answer.

"You had a panic attack, Steve. So did I. We're human. It happens. And it makes all the sense in the world that it would happen here."

"Makes more sense than you know, Sweetness."

"Okay, now you're starting to scare me," she said as Steve got to his feet. When he started pacing, standing up in turn Kayla approached him and stepped into his path.

"Kayla-"

"You are. And you know the best way to stop it."

Nodding, knowing he'd opened himself up to this line of questioning but not realizing how much it would hurt until she was staring up at him that way, Steve let out a breath before speaking.

"This place, baby. After we buried…thought that we'd…the only way I got through the service was knowing what John and I had planned right after we finished up at the buffet line."

"Going after Orpheus at Statesville," Kayla said as Steve looked on in surprise.

"You think I didn't know?" she snorted. "Even if I didn't find out, you think I wouldn't have known that you and John would try?"

"Try and come within an inch of success, baby. I had that needle aimed right at that pig's…"

Trailing off, noting the building they were standing in front of and the expression on his wife's face, Steve took a beat before speaking again.

"But he opened his filthy fucking mouth and said the magic words, Kayla. You and Kate and Marlena were still breathing. We had to follow up on the tip about the DiMeras, and that asshole got to live another day."

"He did. But so did you," Kayla said. Reaching up, she tried to cup his face, but he caught and took hold of her wrist, then kissed the back of her hand before dropping it.

"What?" she asked, frowning at him. "Steve, I said I knew you'd go after Orpheus but if you'd actually gone through with…you know what would've…"

"Baby-"

"Forget that the idea of you ever killing someone in cold blood is just…if you were locked up for life in a cell somewhere because of what happened to me, I-"

"Padded or prison, Sweetness?" Steve scoffed as Kayla shot him a hurt-filled glare.

"How could you…why would you even say-"

"You gotta be more specific when it comes to me, baby. You know that."

"All I want to know is why you're acting like this," she hissed. "What aren't you telling me, damn it?!"

Swallowing hard, his eye still trained on his shoes, Steve let out a slow breath, then spoke after a beat.

"That before I had any idea you weren't who we were putting in the ground, before Roman and John and I put together our plan for Orpheus, before Marlena was even gone, I came here by myself to start making all the arrangements. But I wasn't in the room five minutes with the funeral director before I left a copy of your wishes on the desk and ran out. I told her I needed to make a call, and I came out here. And even I'm not in the business of lying to anyone that close to the Big Dude so, I took out my phone right over by that brick wall, and called up the one ISA contact I've still got who doesn't make a habit of asking a lot of questions."

"What didn't you want them asking you about?"

"Why I was asking if there were any postings or assignments he knew of that…"

"That what?" Kayla asked fearfully.

"That you only need a one way ticket for, baby," Steve admitted, feeling his eye sting as he did so.

"There wasn't anything Nordic or cold climate, but I told him anything to get me out on the water again would work just fine. Think the 'fine' was what tipped it, made him put the call in to Kimberly," he said with a shrug. "You'll be happy to know I've been formally blacklisted from black ops, baby."

Shaking his head, Steve ran his hand over his face before warily looking at his silent, shakily standing wife, who had her arms crossed and her eyes trained on her bare feet.

"Kayla?"

"H…happy?!" she rasped,

"D…did you just... Happy?!"

When Steve stepped closer, Kayla flinched, yelling at him not to touch her before stepping around him and storming off. Watching her, he knew he'd absolutely made the wrong choice of words but the right choice in telling her the truth. If only to show his wife she wasn't the only one who'd reached a breaking point.

"Sweetness…" he called, approaching Kayla as she stood doubled over at the waist, hands on her knees and fighting to catch her breath.

"Baby?"

He'd barely reached to touch her shoulder when she shook her head, standing straight before turning to face him, then hitting him square in the face.

"One way ticket. S…suicide mission?"

"Kayla-"

"It's not true. Y...y.. you're lying, you wouldn't do that!" she sobbed. When she hit him again, Steve took hold of her right wrist, doing his best to fend her off as she switched to striking out at him with her left hand, hysterically hitting at him anywhere she could reach.

"Sweetness-"

"You're lying! I know you're lying. You wouldn't do that! Not…not to me, not to our kids. Y…you wouldn't do that to them, damn it! You wouldn't do that!"

"They don't know, Kayla!" Steve yelled, taking her by the shoulders as she gasped. "The kids have no idea, baby. They don't know."

"S..Steve-"

"I swear, they're never gonna know, Kayla. They're never gonna find out and neither will you, baby," he said, his hands moving to hold her face.

"You're never gonna have to find out."

"H…how can I be sure? I…I…I need to be sure...Steve-"

"I sat down with someone, a-."

"A…a therapist? You t...talked to-"

"I did, baby,"

"You promise me. You promise me right now that you did. That you-"

When Steve leaned in and kissed her heatedly, Kayla responded before finally being the one to pull back. Still nose to nose, she fought to catch her breath as Steve thumbed a tear off her cheek.

"Baby…"

"I need you to say it. I...I need to hear you say it, please? Steve, please!"

"You have my word, Kayla," he assured as she blinked back tears, biting her lip.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise you, Sweetness."

Met with a slow nod and a soft whimper, Steve reached for Kayla right as she went into his arms, breaking down in tears against his chest.

"I promise," he choked out, holding her as tight as he could while she held onto him just as tight.