Chapter 23: Damage Control
"Umm, so something happened!" I shout as I crash back into the seventh-year girl's dormitory.
Alice's and Marlene's heads both pop up in surprise.
"Something like... what?" Alice asks.
"Okay, so I was just in the library and..." I trail off, suddenly noticing that the third girl in the room is not who I was expecting. "Uh, hi Mary."
"Hi," she says curiously.
"Um, where's Emmeline?" I say to the room at large, but Mary answers for me.
"She left when I came in, I don't know where she was going."
I dart my eyes to my mates, widening them and raising my eyebrows. Alice shrugs, but Marlene, bless her, catches on right away.
"Is it dinnertime already?" she says loudly, slapping a hand to her forehead as she looks down at her watch. "Shall we go down to the Great Hall with Lily, Alice?"
Although she could really do without all the dramatics. For Merlin's sake, what is in the air today that is making everyone act so nutty? Must be the full moon. Who'd have known batty old Professor Criswell would be right about these types of things?
"Oh - right!" Alice says, finally catching on. She gets up off her bed. "Yes, I'm starving. Let's go now. And we can find Em on our way!"
Really, I have the best of mates.
They scurry out the door, but right before I follow them, I remember Mary and look back. She's still on her bed, watching with a tipped head. "Umm, see you later Mary," I mumble before following the others down the stairs.
"Lily, what is going on?" Alice demands when we reach the common room.
"Not here!" I shush; there are far too many ears in here, and I need to figure out how we're going to rein in the rumors before they spread to Gryffindor Tower, not fan the flames. "I'll tell you in the corridor."
We clamber through the portrait hole and I'm surprised that when I straighten up, there's Emma.
"Em!" I exclaim. "Perfect. I could use your sensibility right now." I'm too preoccupied by the Carol drama to press her for information about where she's been, or why she looks so guilty to see us. Probably just feeling awkward she turned me down to walk to the library earlier only to leave the dormitory on her own. "Let's go!" I grab her arm and set off down the corridor, Alice and Marlene trailing after us.
I'm relieved to find the hallways just as empty as they'd been when I left earlier. Despite Marlene's dinner excuse when we left the dormitory, dinner is actually still half an hour away, so no one but us is heading in that direction now.
"Alright, Lily, spill!" Marlene demands.
"Right, right," I say, hurrying down the corridor; the panic makes me walk faster than I normally would. "So, like I said, I was in the library, and Carol was in there, and you'll never guess who she was getting chatty with."
"James?" Emmeline asks.
"What? No," I say. We sprint down the stairs to the sixth floor. "Not even close. Although funny you should mention Potter..." I shake my head. I'll get to that in a minute. "No, it was Regulus Black."
"What?!" Marlene and Alice say together.
"RIGHT? Anyway, I'm just trying to get my textbook and of course they're sitting right by the Potions section so I walk by their table but then Carol gets in my face and she's all 'what do you want with Potter?' and I'm like 'Carol, you are crazy, get out of my way!' And she's like 'Stop messing with my man and keep your filthy Mudblood hands off him' -"
Here, all my mates gasp and Marlene says, "That scummy little – !" but I wave my hand impatiently and press onward.
We're flying down the fourth floor corridor now, my mates running to keep up with me. "And well, I – erm – got a little hot tempered I suppose, you know, the way I do sometimes, and might have told her that Potter told me that he doesn't like her at all and that he's - erm – clearly moved on and she should leave him alone." I pause, and then add in a rush, "Oh and maybe I said I can put my hands wherever I want and she doesn't have any say in what I do or don't do with Potter." I know I must be bright red.
Marlene skips ahead of me so she can walk backwards and see me. "Lily! I'm so proud of you!"
"No, Marlene!" I shout. "This is a big problem!"
"Why?" Alice asks.
"Because! I can't believe I said those things about Potter! In front of a full library! Do you know how everyone is going to take this?"
"Well, were they true?" Emmeline asks.
"I mean... some of them? Potter did tell me he doesn't like Carol... but that doesn't mean I should've shouted that for everyone to hear! Oh, he's going to be so mad at me."
"What about the other stuff?" Marlene asks, still skipping along ahead of us, a gleam in her eyes. "Like James clearly moving on and where your hands may or may not be wandering?"
Alice and Emmeline giggle.
"Obviously not!" I shout. But now we've made it to the lower floors and there are other students milling around and some fifth year Ravenclaws look at me funny. I lower my voice – don't need anymore rumors flying around tonight about the nutty Head Girl. "No. You guys know that. There's obviously nothing going on with Potter and me."
"Is it obvious, though?" Alice asks doubtfully.
"What do you mean?" I demand.
"Just all the time you spend together," she says, shrugging.
"And how you two are friends now," Marlene adds.
"And that awful cute moment you had in the corridor earlier this week," says Emma.
I start, looking at her. "Cute moment?"
"Sure," she says, shrugging. "You know, where he stole your letter and waved it around and made you promise he could meet your mum to get it back?"
"I... you... what?" I stumble to a halt and gape at her. Marlene and Alice stop to share at her, too, except while I must look mortified, they have shining eyes and identical silly grins. "How in the name of Merlin do you even know about that?"
"So it's true?" Alice squeals, eyes twinkling.
"I mean, yes, but... but it wasn't like that!" I splutter.
"Like what?"
"Like the way Emma is making it sound, all... all cute and... and... you know!" I shudder, but my heart is hammering. Again, I notice there are way too many people in this hallway now. Dinner has finally started. I drag the girls into the nearest bathroom, then mutter a Locking Charm when I slam the door shut.
This is all going very wrong. Because... maybe it was kind of like that. But I'm getting over that. Christmas holidays and taking a break from James and no one knowing – that's the plan! Not... this! "Again, how do you know this?!" I demand again.
"Angela Stoker saw you guys on her way to Potions Monday," Emma explains. "And then she asked me about it in Arithmancy later that day, she was quite eager to know if you and James are together. Thinks the pair of you are rather cute."
Arithmancy... oh Merlin. A missing piece clicks into place. "Where does Carol sit in Arithmancy?" I whisper.
"Right behind Angela and me," Em says apologetically.
I cover my face with my hands. "That's why she was so mad at me today."
"Probably especially since you and James spent all day yesterday in the library together, too," Marlene says, hopping up to perch on one of the sinks.
"Not helping, Marlene," I moan.
"Why not? It's always good to take Carol down a peg."
"Yes, but I'd prefer not to get slapped as a consequence."
"WHAT?!" All three of them yelp.
Hmm. Must have forgotten that detail in my story.
"It's whatever," I say, waving a hand. I have much bigger problems to deal with.
"I swear," Marlene says, "I'm going to hex that girl the next time I see her." She actually starts striding to the door like she's going to find Carol right now and follow through, but I grab her arm.
"No, look, I need your help. What do I DO?"
Alice sighs. "Unfortunately, Lily, there's only one thing you can do."
"What's that?"
"You have to tell James."
Excuse me?
"No, Alice, that is the exact opposite of what I am trying to achieve here," I say.
"Listen, Lily. You're not keeping him out of the loop. Everyone who was there is going to talk – you're right. There's no stopping the gossip mill, you had much too much of an audience, and everyone who hears what went down is going to go to one of three people – you, Carol, or James."
I groan and cover my face again.
"So," she continues, "all you can do is talk to James so he knows how to respond when he hears that one, you've spilled something he told you in confidence, and two, you, well... kind of staked a claim on him."
I groan some more.
"And then the rumors will die out on their own! Because if people come to you, obviously, you'll deny there's anything going on with you and James and you can clarify that Carol is just nutty all on her own, and James can do the same, and no way will Carol support any rumors saying that James favors you over her, so... problem solved."
I tip my head back and thunk it against the closed door. My mates wait as I stare at the pattern of stone on the ceiling and think this all through.
"Dang it," I mutter finally. "I think you're right." I drop my head to look at them all again. "Let's go to dinner. I need to find Potter."
/
However, James is mysteriously missing from dinner.
All the Marauders are.
I guess this should be expected. The library trauma was so big I'd all but forgotten their plotting earlier this afternoon. I suppose that's what they're up to now. At least the Great Hall is its normal shade of brownstone and slate.
And I've never been more relieved to have them wrapped up in a scheme.
Because I'm SO not ready to talk to James.
Every time I think about approaching him and saying, "By the way, weird rumors flying around, but if you happen to hear something about me shouting that you don't like Carol because you've moved onto me, and I'm happily putting hands on you, it's not untrue, but I just need you to deny it, thanks bye," I kind of want to die.
I mean, what is he even going to think of me?
This was not the plan!
"Oy, Evans! Is it true Potter's dumped Carol for you?"
"I heard Singer threatened to curse Evans if she didn't stop slipping Potter love potion."
"James could SO do better."
Yes, very glad James is not at dinner tonight.
/
"I'm late, and I'm sorry!" James shouts as he throws the door open to the prefect room.
"Potter! Um, hi! It's fine!" He is indeed very late. The meeting starts in two minutes, and we barely have any time to go over our notes on what we're going to cover, but for once, I'm not bothered in the slightest. I've been here for almost twenty minutes, hyperventilating about what to say when James showed up, and worrying about what he might hear before he showed up. And what the prefects might say when he got here. Because I didn't trust any of them to keep their traps shut. The sheer number of odd looks and chuckles I'd gotten as the prefects had trickled in was more than enough to let me know the rumors were already flying rampant. As if dinner wasn't enough to prove that. In fact, the closer it got to the meeting, the more I hoped James just... wouldn't show. Then I could postpone all the mortification until tomorrow.
Such is never my luck.
And now that he's here, my anxiety is through the roof because many of the prefects start whispering when James walks in, shooting the two of us gleeful looks. I make pleading eyes at Emma. Help me! She nods dutifully and walks over to where Julie Mackey, Jenny Adams, and George Belby are all clearly gossiping and says loudly, "You guys ready for the Transfiguration quiz tomorrow?"
Good ol' Em.
"So, Lily, what do we need to talk about?" I jump and look at James with panicked eyes. He's already heard, I think hysterically, then realize he's only talking about the meeting agenda.
"Um, right," I say, shuffling through my notes. "You want to go over our House Points report with them? And I was going to get another rounds sign-ups out. And Hogsmeade protocol in a couple weeks? Oh, and tutoring reports are due at the end of the month."
He nods. "Got it."
"And, Potter?" He looks at me. I grit my teeth. "Um, not really time to explain, but you might hear some, erm, interestingthings I may or may not have said and I'm sorry. Just so you know."
He grins. "This sounds interesting. What things might Lily Evans have said to cause gossip?"
Oh Merlin, he thinks this is all a joke.
"You didn't hear anything before coming here?" I clarify.
He shakes his head. "No. I came straight from... well. You know." He runs a hand through his hair and the motion draws attention to how much more of a disarray it's in than normal.
"No, I don't know," I retort, and for a moment, I forget to be worried, and I'm just annoyed. "You don't tell me what you and your mates get up to."
"If you remember," Potter says, "I voted this afternoon to clue you in. It was the others who shut you out."
"This time," I say. "And in any case, even if you had won that vote, it's not like you lot would actually tell me much of anything."
"Of course we couldn't tell you everything. You're Head Girl."
"And you're Head Boy," I shoot back. "So -"
"Oy! Are we getting this meeting started or do we have to listen to you two go at it again?"
Both Potter and I jump back – somehow, in the heat of the argument, we'd gotten pretty close to whisper-shout in each other's faces, and I'd rather forgotten there was a room full of prefects watching us.
"Right," mutters James, rumpling his hair again. "Thanks for calling us out, Belby."
George salutes. "Just doing my job."
"Give them a break, George," Julie says. "You can't blame them for a lover's spat, especially today."
Oh Merlin. We are not doing this right now.
James gives Julie a thoroughly baffled look.
"Right!" I nearly shout. "Let's get this meeting started! First off – new rounds sign-ups!"
I manage to keep the meeting mostly under control by speeding through all the information and not letting anyone say much of anything. There was a real dicey moment when James was recapping the House Points for November and Hilda Wilkes from Slytherin asked how many points they were allowed to take if someone was caught cheating on their girlfriend, and if the Head Boy and Girl were immune from point dockings, but I just laughed loudly, said, "Good joke, Wilkes!" and started talking about Hogsmeade instead.
I'm sure James didn't notice a thing.
"Don't forget to sign up for your rounds!" I say as we close the meeting, and everyone starts breaking up, squabbling over getting the best time slots.
"So..." James says, turning to me. "That was an... odd meeting."
"Must've been the pumpkin juice," I say. "Tasted a bit off at dinner."
"Lily..." he says. "What exactly happened today?"
I check my watch. "Don't you have to go? It's 7:30 already, and you were so adamant that you had to leave early."
He doesn't budge. "What happened?"
I freeze, not knowing what to say. I still haven't worked out the best way to tell him what happened, and I really really don't want to blurt out something stupid and unrehearsed and make it worse.
"Prongs!"
Sirius Black, you are my savior.
"You coming?" Sirius pokes his head in through the door. "We've got to go."
James frowns at me a moment longer. "Fine, yes, I'm coming." But then he addresses me. "But don't think you're getting out of this, Evans. Tomorrow. Potions. You owe me."
Then he runs out the door after Sirius.
/
I stay up way too late that night, trying to figure out what I'm supposed to say to James in the morning. Emma suggests writing down my ideas, but I only get as far as "So, Potter, despite what you might hear, I do not actually want to put my hands on you" before throwing the whole roll of parchment AND my quill into the trash.
At breakfast, I'm trying to enjoy my last half hour without humiliation when I realize I've somehow managed to forget I am not the only person who can tell James about what happened yesterday.
That's right.
The whole castle knows.
And I only remember that as I watch Eagans – freaking Eagans – the Hufflepuff fourth year approach James from across the Great Hall towards the end of breakfast.
"Oh no," I say.
Alice follows my gaze. "Guess your time's up, Lily."
Marlene and Emma turn to look, too. "Oh, look, here he comes now," Marlene says, grinning. "Goody. I do love some drama with my breakfast."
My breakfast lurches in my stomach. I should have laid off the waffles.
"Nope!" I say, jumping to my feet. "I'm not doing this!" And then I sprint from the Hall.
/
I spend the last ten minutes of breakfast hiding in the toilets down by the dungeons with the door locked again. I seriously consider skipping Potions, but it was only three days ago I told James I've never missed a lesson, and despite it all, I really don't have it in me to start now. So instead, I sneak the rest of the way to the Potions classroom, peering around corners, and when I finally make it there, I bee-line for the empty chair next to Severus. It's a mark of how desperate I am that I plop myself down there even though Rosier and Mulciber are also sitting at the table.
"Hi!" I say, too brightly. Rosier and Mulciber scowl.
I made it just in time, because Potter strides in the door barely a minute later. "Lily!" he says when he sees me. I duck my head and pretend to be very interested in something inside my school bag. I can't read his mood yet, but I feel like it's not a great sign he also comes over to the Slytherins table, even though I'm sitting by Severus, his actual worst enemy, and there are no seats left at our table.
He stands there. I ignore him and continue searching inside my bag for nothing.
"You want something, Potter?" Severus says, his voice ice cold.
"Just need to talk to Lily about something."
"In just a minute," I say, now practically under the table in my imaginary search.
"Lily, would you just –?"
"Now, now, Mr. Potter," Slughorn says, finally bouncing in. "Take a seat, class is starting."
James gives me a frustrated look before sitting at the next table over with Angela and the other Ravenclaws. I let out a quiet sigh of relief and slowly straighten up in my seat as Slughorn launches into his lecture about the different components of Veritaserum. However, I'd forgotten my company and immediately wish I could duck back under when I see Rosier and Mulciber glowering at me. Even Severus is looking at me with a less than pleasant expression and I realize he's probably heard the rumors by now, too. Great. I think I'll just spend the rest of class today hiding under the table and avoiding everyone.
I look away from my tablemates only to catch the gaze of every single person at the next table, too. Except, unlike the Slytherins, they're all grinning. Dean Hoffman hides a laugh behind his hand and Meg Donahue outright giggles, but Angela lights up and raises her eyebrows at me. Right. According to Emma, she thinks James and I are cute together. What a load of rubbish.
And then there's James Potter himself. As soon as I look his way, he widens his eyes at me. I whip my head around and vow to only look at Slughorn and his blackboard for the rest of class. This plan is immediately foiled when a crumpled piece of paper hits me in the side of the head while Slughorn's back is turned. I smooth it out to read.
Really, Lily? If you wanted to date me so bad, you should have just said something.
I whip my head to look at him and find he's holding back a laugh. The prat is actually smirking at me.
Oh, thank Merlin. He thinks it's funny.
He's not mad.
And I'm so relieved.
I hurry to scrawl a reply and, with my wand, send it soaring neatly back so it lands with a whisper in front of James.
Deflate that ever-inflated ego, Potter. You should know to never trust Eagans not to over-exaggerate. I never said I wanted to date you.
Now that I know that James isn't mad with me, the whole situation seems a lot more manageable. He reads my note quickly, grins as he writes his reply, and, with a tap of his wand, sends the note scuttling across the ground like a crab. I scoop it up.
That's right. Just that you wanted to get your hands on me.
I purse my lips together, my stomach twisting in embarrassment. Right. I did say that. I side-eye James. He faces forward, play-acting like he's focused on Slughorn, but his hand is over his mouth, stifling his laughter. My next note slams into his head a little more forcefully as Slughorn is bulleting all the effects eyebright has when brewing.
You got me. I can't wait to whack you alongside your huge head.
Always so violent. Although I guess it's better than the Love Potions you're supposedly slipping me.
Guess we know now why you've had so much patience with me in tutoring. My master plan all along – 1. Drug Potter so he'll agree to tutor me, 2. Tutoring multiple times a week, 3. Finally be top in every single class.
That's such a Lily Evans move, drugging someone for the best grades. I can almost forgive you for it, it's so ridiculous.
...just so we're clear, I have not actually slipped you any Love Potion.
Well, that's a relief. Although maybe then I could have blamed my lapse of judgement when I talked to you about Carol on that.
… I really am sorry I said anything to her.
We'll talk after class.
/
"You done?" Severus asks, nodding at the parchment James and I have been scribbling on, now overly creased and worn looking.
I sigh. "Done." I look around and realize that while I'd been writing James, everyone started brewing, and I don't even have my cauldron lit. "Shoot. I missed it. What are we working on?"
Sev rolls his eyes. "We're using the ingredients from Veritaserum to concoct a potion with similar results."
"Right," I say, hastily lighting a small blue fire under my cauldron and rifling to the proper page in my Potions textbook.
"Hey, Evans," Mulciber drawls from the other side of the table. "I heard you hexed Singer last night in the library and she had to spend the night in the infirmary recovering, is that true? Because if it is, I totally underestimated you."
Oh, for Merlin's sake, how was Carol ending up the victim in all these stories? She slapped me!
Severus frowns at his Housemate. "Obviously not true, Cyril. Check your sources."
Mulciber just chuckles softly and goes back to his potion.
"Thanks," I tell Sev.
"Sure," he says, but doesn't look at me. His lips are pursed thin.
I sigh. "Alright, let's hear it. Which of your sources do I need to straighten out?"
Sev says nothing, but his eyes flick to the note again, and then over to James, and his expression falls.
"Sev," I say, exasperated. "You know there's nothing going on with Potter and me."
"I'd be a lot more reassured if you didn't spend all class passing notes with him."
"Sev," I repeat, and he finally looks at me. "Nothing is going on."
He nods.
James is waiting for me outside class. Severus scowls at him, but I wave him away and James and I start to make our way to Transfiguration together.
"Potter, I –" I start, but he cuts me off.
"I'm not mad, Lily," he says. "Truly, I'm not."
"But...?" I prompt timidly.
"But," he sighs. "I wish you would have just told me last night."
"Yes, well that was the plan, but I hadn't quite figured out how to say it without sounding completely ridiculous and, well... I was embarrassed. That I told Carol you never liked her." I glance quickly up at his face and catch a small frown.
"Yes, that was... not ideal."
"I'm sorry," I say, my voice sounding small. Our footsteps on the stone steps are louder than I am.
We walk in silence for a while, letting the chatter of other students passing in the corridors mask the awkwardness. James halts when we reach the Transfiguration classroom. He gazes in, still frowning, but doesn't walk inside. "It's just... well, you've lectured me a couple times about trust. And I know you don't trust me, and I get that I maybe haven't done a whole lot to earn it, but it goes both ways, Lily." He finally looks at me, but I wish he didn't, because my cheeks burn with shame and I'm the one having a hard time meeting his eyes. "I trusted you when I told you about Carol. And you threw it in her face." He shrugs. "So maybe try understanding why I also have a hard time trusting you."
Oof.
Right.
"Potter..." I say softly, not knowing what I'm going to say.
He crooks a small smile at me. "It's fine. Not mad, remember?"
"There she is!" Someone comes up alongside me and claps me on the shoulder. I turn to see Sirius's beaming face. "THE Lily Evans! Heard you slapped Carol, couldn't be more proud!"
"No, you twit!" Alice says, following him, Emmeline right behind. The three of them have just come from Divination, along with Peter, and suddenly the corridor outside McGonagall's classroom has gotten rather crowded with our mates. "I told you, Carol slapped Lily!"
"Oh," Sirius says, looking disappointed. But it only lasts a moment. "Well, we can fix this, can't we, Wormtail?"
"Nose-biting teacup at dinner?" Peter suggests eagerly.
"Lock her in the loo with a niffler?" Sirius counters.
"Dungbomb in her bed?"
"Charm all her food to taste like mud?"
"Replace her Astronomy telescope with a boxing one?"
"That's it!" Sirius shouts, and he and Peter high-five.
"Not on my watch, you don't," James says, folding his arms.
Oh, right. "Um, mine either," I say. Even though all those ideas sound perfectly brilliant to me.
Sirius sighs and shakes his head. "For a pair of Heads with so much drama, you two are really no fun."