Chapter 16 CH:15 Give It Up

Carl's been home for two nights now and he's already starting to feel stir-crazy.

"How long has it been since I've been home?" He asks himself as he makes his way to the east side of their family home.

It was his mom's favorite side of the house. 'The sun rises in East Carl, come watch it with me.' She'd say then take a hold of his small hand and lead them both to the conservatory. He'd rub the sleep from his eyes and they'd watch the sunrise together. That is the earliest, most fondest memory he has of his mom.

The conservatory was his mom's happy place. She had designed it herself, from the columns and windows to the greenery growing up and along the column. His mom did everything there: gardening, reading, gossiping too. She loved to sit in the conservatory and read, or just relax and enjoy the peace and quiet. The plants and flowers always made her happy, and she loved watching them grow. The conservatory was her own little oasis, a place where she could escape from the world and just be.

Everything, surprisingly so, is still in its place, tidy and dusted, the plants are thriving and healthy. Carl halfheartedly hoped it would be in disarray. Untidy, neglected, falling apart, forgotten and yes even on the cusp of decay like his mother. He'd hoped as much but knew his dad would never allow that and in doing so it made him begin to remember the last time he saw his mom, and he really didn't want to do that.

Carl saw the fresh bouquet of Cherokee roses on the table. He knew who put them there: the caretaker's wife. But for a brief moment after seeing it, he could almost picture his mom standing there, arranging the flowers and asking him about his day at school. Thinking about that moment in time made him frown even more.

Carl headed over to the bookcase where all mom's favorite things were kept. Seashells from their trips to the beach. There are pressed flowers in frames on each end of every shelf on the bookcase. Carl grabbed a book off the shelf. It wasn't just any book, it was her favorite book in a series she loved, about a detective and his doctor friend.

Carl scowled as he replaced the book on the shelf. "Why am I even here?" he muttered to himself.

"You are here because you miss your mother.."

Carl waved her away from him, "Could you not do that."

"I could, but it's more fun this way," she giggled, then stopped when she saw how serious he was. She takes a step back. "Very well," she said, "I apologize but I believe we both know why you are here."

"Dad, Michonne, and Daryl are trying to whisper, but I can still hear them. it's pretty obvious they're making plans without me. No matter, I'm just glad Negan got away. I vowed that I would be the one to kill him, and I'm not going to let anyone take that away from me."

"Yes, but you are avoiding the answer to your question."

Carl mumbles under his breath.

"Yes, I too empathize with your frustration. I have experienced the feeling of being excluded from important matters by family members."

"Is that why you're… that way?" He reaches out to touch her, knowing his hand touches nothing.

"And what way am I?" She asked teasingly.

"Dead and haunting me." Carl says matter of fact.

She smiles, "I'm not dead Carl nor am I haunting you."

"Then what are you?"

"I'm not a what, I'm astral projecting."

"Oh. So you're not dead?"

"No, not dead."

"Then why am I the only one who can see you?"

"Everyone can see me but I don't want them to, I use Enid or Pigeon for that."

"The girl who nursed me back in Virginia?"

"Yes but that was me."

"And the pigeon? I haven't seen any pigeons around."

"Not pigeons, Pigeon, she's my pet hawk."

Carl laughs, "You really named your hawk Pigeon?" he asked, "Pigeon, really?"

"What's so funny? It's a great name!" She said, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, indeed, it is an excellent name," Carl said, laughing again.

"Please stop laughing."

"I'm not laughing, I'm being serious," Carl said, trying to look serious. But his mouth kept curling up into a smile, and he couldn't help but chuckle a few times.

Once he stopped laughing, something nagged at him and he had to know.

"If you are astral projecting and you find yourself in Enid or Pigeon, why those places in particular, and not your own body?"

Carl pondered for a moment, and began to think out loud, "You can go back to your body but you can't, because you don't know where it is."

"Correct."

Carl took a good look at the girl and realized this gloom around her.

"I'm sorry."

She shrugs, "Parents have been making decisions for us without our input for ages."

"What's your name?"

"Now you want to know my name?"

"Yeah, now that I know you're not a ghost haunting me and it was rude of me not bothering to ask, I'm asking now."

"Lydia."

Lydia? And why does that name sound so familiar?"

"Because I'm Alpha's daughter."

"That's right, the witch. And what business does your mother have with us, with Negan?"

"It's a long story."

"I'm not going anywhere. Remember, I have a parent who also makes decisions for me too. Tell me."

"Not much to tell really. Mother thought she could maintain the upper hand with the Saviors."

"Why was your mother doing business with them in the first place?."

"Is THAT really important?"

"Tell me everything. Don't leave anything out."

Lydia sighs, "Fine. Negan was having trouble controlling his hunger, so he came to us because he'd heard that my mother's knows a way to control it but he had nothing to bargain with, so he started talking about some scientist who had found a cure for the zombie plague. He said he could get it for her, and that together, with her magic, they could use it to control the masses."

"How can they manipulate the formula? Negan was feeding her lies in order to get what he wanted," Carl stated in conviction and doesn't think otherwise.

Lydia regarded Carl with a frown, "Science is magic and spells too. Each uses ingredients, formulas and instructions. Negan can be very persuasive, and mother loves to make the impossible happen."

"So they both got what they wanted?"

"Yes, and no. Mother gave him something to control his urges but then she realized Negan only gave her half of the formula."

"And that must have pissed her off?"

"Indeed, but my mother never does anything half-heartedly. The spell she gave him not only controls his urges, but it can also manipulate Negan when he turns. She had him kill a few of his men when he turned."

Carl was both astonished and impressed by Lydia's mother's actions, but he knew that it could not be good, "Did he know what was happening?"

"He was unaware until the uneventful events at Alexandria recently. Those deaths were not supposed to happen. We discovered Olivia's work for Negan. Mother was to obtain the rest of the formula and nearly lost control of him. He went wild."

Carl could only shake his head in disbelief.

"By the time he realized what was happening, it was already too late for me. I was dispatched to conduct reconnaissance on Michonne's family. I was to determine if her father was working on recreating the formula and he was and that's when he took my body. Told my mother if she ever did that again he'd kill me."

Carl heaved a sigh of frustration, "Everyone wants in on this formula so much. One for control, the other for power. "You know what I was thinking before all of this happened," Carl said, looking at Lydia intently.

Lydia shook her head. "No, I don't know. You can tell me, if you want too. "

"I have been consumed by thoughts of graduating from flight school and becoming the captain of my own airship. I would use my airship to carry out covert missions, rescue people, and earn the keys to cities. I would make a name for myself as a daring and heroic aviator."

Carl said this proudly, but then his expression fell as he averted his eyes to the bay window of the conservatory. "Yet, here we are having to deal with the undead, werewolves and witches. All we need now is vampires and we have ourselves a true monster party."

Carl snickered to himself, then turned back to Lydia. She looked uncomfortable. "What now? Why are you doing that? You know something, I told you to tell me everything."

"I am not certain that you will like it," Lydia replied, her expression one of concern.

"Come right out and say it already."

Lydia exclaimed, "Glenn is a vampire!"

Carl remained silent, his head bowed and eyes averted from Lydia. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to calm his racing heart.

"Carl? Carl, are you okay?" Lydia asked, her voice filled with concern. "I told you you would not like it."

Carl looked up and met Lydia's eyes. "Hmm, yeah, I'm okay. I think." He honestly didn't know how to feel. "That's more news than I expected."

"You are handling this situation admirably," Lydia said in a surprised tone. "But, of course, you would be. You are a werewolf now."

"Yes, I am a werewolf and my uncle is a vampire," Carl said absentmindedly. "I am sure my dad knows."

"Yes, for years now. Your Uncle Daryl knows as well, and Michonne may know as well, though I cannot say for certain."

"Years?" Carl exclaimed, aghast. "But how? I have seen him in the daytime. I have seen him drink and eat food."

Lydia chuckled. "Do you really? Carl, this is the foggiest time of the year. The early mornings are thick with fog and rain. It's an illusion of sunlight. When you do see him, have you ever seen him in the daytime?"

Before Carl could utter a word, she continued, "No, you have not seen him. He arrives at night and leaves at night. He uses the cover of darkness to do his pirating. It works for him and his crew."

"This is a lot to process. I wonder what else they have been keeping from me." Carl cupped his chin in his hand, deep in thought.

Lydia had considered telling Carl the truth about the situation between his father and Negan, which involved his mother, but ultimately decided against it.

"Observe him closely with your wolf eyes. Glenn does not consume food or drink. He is very quick with his hands, pouring his drink into other goblets and simply moving the food around his plate."

Carl could only nod in response. He then quickly glanced at the entryway of the conservatory, before looking back at Lydia.

"Yeah, I know. I should probably head back to Enid. The potion I gave her is wearing off, and she'll be waking up soon."

Lydia left before Carl could say goodbye, but his dad's arrival soon diverted his attention. Carl watched his father enter the room, his brow furrowed in confusion as he looked around.

"Were there someone with you?"

Carl looked at his father with confusion on his face. "No, why would you think that?" he asked.

'Oh how quickly the lies come.' Carl thinks to himself.

"I could have sworn," Rick said, glancing around the room before facing his son. "I came to check up on you. I know you've been restless and moody since we've arrived."

Carl looked at his dad, Rick can see his son's eyes are tired and bloodshot. "I'm fine, Dad," he said.

Rick frowned. "You're not fine," he said. "You're not really eating or sleeping, and for the past two days you've been spending all your time in your room, until today. What's going on?"

Carl sighed. "I don't know, Dad," he said. "I just...I don't feel like myself here."

"What do you mean?" Rick asked.

"I don't know," Carl shrugs his shoulders. "It's just...different. I feel like I don't belong here."

Rick put his hand on his son's shoulder. "You belong here," he said. "This is your home."

Carl shook his head. "No, it's not," he said. "This is mom's home, everything is all mom. I feel like I'm a visitor."

Carl is at a loss to explain what compelled him to confess what has been troubling him but once he said it he felt lighter.

Rick sighed. "I know it has been difficult," he said. "And that is perfectly understandable. I had a hard time just walking into this very same room, and that is also understandable. Things will get easier for both of us one day. I promise."

Carl looks at his dad, his eyes pleading. "I don't want to get used to it," he said. "I want to get out of here."

Rick's heart ached. He knew how his son felt. He had felt the same way when he had first walked through the front door. All of the memories came flooding back, but he knew he had to face this head-on. He also knew that his son would eventually have to face this too. He had to.

"I understand your desire to leave," Rick said. "However, we cannot leave. We must remain here to complete certain tasks before we can go."

Carl looked down at his hands and frowned. "Fine."

Rick smiled. "Good," he said. "Now, why don't you get some rest? I will check on you later."

"Okay Dad," Carl replied as he made his way to the door.

"Hey?" Rick calls out to him to get his attention, Rick watches as his son stops and turns to face him..

"This is a trying time for us, especially with everything that has been happening. Remember, Carl I love you," he said.

Carl rolls his eyes but smiles. "I know, I love you too, Dad."

Rick watched him leave, then turned to the room and whispered under his breath, "What have you left us with, Lori?" He sighed and left the room too.

Code note: Hi Fleur2019, I sent you a message through the fanfiction app but I don't think you saw it. You want to know who Daniel is, sorry for the confusion.

The chapter is named Daniel by Bat For Lashes. Chapter 2 of my notes has the info you're looking for. All the chapter titles are songs, and they have nothing to do with the story. I name the chapter after whatever song that comes on shuffle when I start working on a chapter.

There is a Hunter Of Screams soundtrack on my IG, I would love for you all to check it out when you get a chance!