Turning Point

Summary: Buddie fic. Caught off guard by a sudden self-revelation, Eddie is faced with a crossroads that could lead to the point of no return for his relationship with Buck. Meanwhile, Buck is trying to figure out why his best friend is suddenly pushing him away, determined to get answers and fix whatever has broken.

Disclaimer: I do not own 9-1-1 or anything associated with the show.

Author Notes: Hope you enjoy reading as much as I've been enjoying writing.

Set after season 6.

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Chapter 7

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Cooking had never been one of Eddie's strong points. It was true that during his break from the 118 he had found himself growing to enjoy it more and whilst he enjoyed impressing Buck with the fact he could make something that was actually edible, there was something he enjoyed much more than that and that was watching Buck work his magic in the kitchen.

Buck had learned from the best, both Bobby and Athena teaching him, and the meals he made were like mouthfuls of heaven, but that wasn't why Eddie liked to watch. It wasn't even the way Buck moved, bouncing from foot to foot, twisting and turning, his muscles tight and visible in his work shirt, or the way he would smile at Eddie and talk away about whatever was on his mind. That was all a bonus, but it wasn't the reason.

No, for Eddie, it was the joy and the spark in Buck's eyes when he was cooking. There was something so pure there, Eddie found whenever he watched Buck, something so innocent and honest. Buck enjoyed cooking and he enjoyed learning the way everything went together, and Eddie found himself drawn into that, falling a little more as he watched the corner of Buck's mouth hitch up into a smile.

Eddie leaned against the counter in the kitchen, taking a quick glance around the loft of the firehouse to find they were alone, before looking back to Buck as he threw the towel over his shoulder and grabbed a nearby carrot. He placed it on the chopping board with the remnants of others before it and began chopping.

"And you should have seen this guy," Buck continued on with his retelling of their call from earlier that day, one Eddie had missed due to an on the clock session with Frank.

The sessions weren't as often as before, but he had to admit that Bobby was right to encourage him to continue attending. Even if it was only once a month. It helped, of course, knowing that no matter how good or bad a session may have gone, Buck would be there, waiting.

"I mean, he was like…" Buck placed the knife down and held his hands apart in front of him, a good foot or two. "And this guy's arm was right in there."

"Mhmm," Eddie hummed, pushing away from the counter and moving around it until he was behind Buck and leaning in, placing his hands on Buck's waist.

"And this fish…" Buck tried to say, but he stumbled over the words and Eddie could practically feel the heat radiating out from him. "This fish…"

"Yeah?" Eddie asked, distracted as he placed a kiss on the back of Buck's neck, just above the collar of his shirt.

Buck twisted around so he was facing Eddie, deliberately pushing forward so his body pressed against Eddie's. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but in that moment, time itself seemed to freeze. Instead of Buck's husky breath, another voice rang out from the entrance to the loft, filled with authority.

"Buckley, Diaz. My office. Now."

Eddie looked over Buck's shoulder in time to see Bobby meeting his gaze from the top of the stairs before he turned away and began making his way back downstairs before either of them had a chance to speak. For a moment, they did nothing, but Eddie could see the panic rising in Buck's eyes and the way his jaw worked.

No matter what Eddie felt in that moment, the fear and worry, the sudden tightness in his chest and racing of his heart, he could see that Buck felt it tenfold. Bobby was a father figure to him after all, the captain that Buck sought approval and acceptance from. Eddie gripped his arm, forcing Buck to look at him, and stared into his eyes, silent and soft, in an attempt to ground Buck.

Buck said nothing in return, offering up a small nod before leading the way toward Bobby's office. When they arrived, he was stood behind his desk, looking down at an open manilla folder and the paperwork on display inside it. Without raising his head, he instructed them to close the door and they did so.

"Bobby," Buck started, the slightest quivers lining his voice, "we can explain…"

Bobby glanced up at that and tilted his head to the side. "What's there to explain?"

Eddie took a step forward, fighting the urge to step in front of Buck. "We didn't do anything wrong."

"I didn't say you did."

"I'm confused," Buck continued. "What's going on?"

Clenching his jaw, Eddie looked down at the paperwork and then up to Bobby, anger rising inside of him. There was only one logical conclusion he could think of. "He wants to transfer one of us out of the 118."

"What?" Buck immediately started forward, his brow furrowing. "Can he do that?" His gaze moved from Eddie and then to Bobby again. "Can you do that?"

"Woah!" Bobby held his hands up, his eyes widening as he looked between Buck and Eddie, looking very much like he was trying to placate a wild animal that could dart at any moment. "No one said anything about transferring. It's just some paperwork to cover your backs and mine. I was waiting for you to come to me but I'd rather get ahead of the game on this. Look, I'll be the first to admit that some firehouses have rules that are, quite frankly, outdated. But not here, not while I'm captain. No one is leaving the 118."

"I really don't understand…"

"Buck, I've worked with you both long enough to know that I trust you'll make the right decisions out there in the field, for everybody. Whether that's each other, the team, or the general public. I don't have any issues with the pair of you dating."

"So, you're not angry?" Buck's tone was tentative, cautious even, as if he didn't fully believe what Bobby was saying.

"Why would I be angry?" Bobby let go of a light laugh. "I'm a little sad you didn't think you could come to me about this, but I'm happy for you both. And quite frankly, it's about time."

Eddie narrowed his eyes. "What does that mean?"

"I just…" Bobby floundered a little, his attention suddenly going to his desk as he fiddled with the paperwork. "I mean, it's good to see you both growing and taking the chance to be happy with each other."

But as Eddie looked to Buck, watching as the younger man breathed out a sigh of relief, a calming smile settling on his face, Eddie knew that was all that mattered. He couldn't help his own smile when Buck rounded the desk to wrap his arms around Bobby, who stilled a moment, taken aback slightly, before returning the hug with equal enthusiasm.

"You do a lot of dumb things, kid," Bobby murmured, "but this isn't one of them."

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It was coming up to nearly four weeks since Eddie had kissed Buck, and Buck still felt most days like he was riding the high from it all. Some days, when he woke, he felt like he was still dreaming. He got to go to work each day doing the job he loved most, and then he got to spend his evenings with Eddie and Chris. No doubt that was why the fear gripped him so tightly sometimes.

The fear that had him messaging Bobby, waiting anxiously for a reply and not being able to settle until he got one. The fear that had him setting his alarm extra early just so he could see the dark when he woke, because it was always day in his coma dream. The fear that had him going through each item on his checklist, sometimes even twice, just so he could reassure himself that it was real. Every second of it.

"No, no, nooo," he complained in jest, eyes glued to the television and fingers desperately pressing at the buttons on the controller in his hand. But despite his efforts, the car on screen went swerving off the track and he lost his first-place title to the young Chris who zoomed past him and across the finish line. "Gah!"

He let go of a light laugh and rolled his eyes as he placed the controller down on the table in defeat. Chris, on the other hand, held his arms up in victory and cheered.

"I thought you said you could drive, Buck," Chris teased, earning himself a high five from Eddie.

"Yeah, Buck," Eddie joined in with a chuckle, "I thought you said you could drive."

"Best out of three," Buck answered, picking up the controller again, not one to back down from a challenge.

Before they could restart the race though, the knock at the door announced the arrival of food and Buck jumped up to help. He took the bags from Eddie and took them through to the kitchen as Eddie paid. He was already taking out the dishes and setting everything up by the time Eddie joined him. One hand on his waist, Eddie leaned around from behind Buck to steal a chicken ball from one of the containers and popped it into his mouth. His hand remained on Buck's waist as he smiled at Buck.

Buck paused in his movements and glanced toward the doorway, his voice low as he spoke. "You know, I've been thinking…"

"That's always dangerous," Eddie teased, the touch of his hand lingering on Buck's back as he moved away to grab some plates.

"We should tell Chris."

Eddie stilled, remaining silent.

"As much as I enjoy the sneaking about and stealing kisses, don't you think it's time we told him?"

Without meeting Buck's eyes, Eddie cleared his throat and began dishing out pieces of the meal. "And we will."

"Just not yet…" Buck finished for him, unable to keep the hurt from his voice, the disappointment causing his shoulders to sag. "Eddie…"

Edde pushed out a breath and placed his hands on the table, taking a moment before finally looking to Buck. "You know how he reacted when I told him about Ana."

"Yeah, he came to me."

"Exactly," Eddie answered, pushing away from the table and turning away. "Aside from me, you are the one constant in his life. So, who will he run to when he can't run to you?"

"Why would he run? This is me, Eddie…"

Eddie met his gaze, his jaw stiff and eyes determined.

Buck took a breath, his eyes closing a moment as he shook his head. "You know what, I… I think I should go."

"Buck…" Eddie began, tone pleading, but Buck was already turning away.

He was at the doorway to the kitchen before Eddie grabbed his upper arm, stopping him.

"Buck, please… stay."

"No, Eddie." But Buck pulled himself free. "We wouldn't want to give Christopher the wrong idea."

He pushed himself forward, trying to ignore the aching in his chest and the spinning of his head, and grabbed his jacket. He could barely bring himself to look at Chris as the kid leaned over the back of the couch and looked to him with confusion.

"Buck?" Chris called. "Where are you going? We haven't even eaten yet."

"Sorry, buddy," Buck forced out. "I just remembered I have to head home. Early start in the morning."

"Buck…" Eddie tried once more, but Buck didn't dare turn around to face him, to see the plea that was so clear in his voice written in his eyes. He didn't dare turn back, even once he had left the house and the door was closed behind him.

He knew if he did, it would break him. He would give in and stay. He would do whatever Eddie asked of him, including keeping their relationship a secret from Chris. Any resolve he felt would melt away. But Buck had been there before. He had been waiting before for the other person to catch up, sitting alone in the dark.

When it had happened with Abby, Eddie had been the one to pull him free, to pull him out of that darkness and into the light. And he had accepted that they could never be more than friends. He had accepted the idea of simply being near Eddie, of taking whatever he could get, but now he had had more, now he knew what it felt like to receive that love and wanting in return… he didn't want to go back to just good enough. He wanted it all.

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Buck. Answer me. Please.

We need to talk.

Buck…

Please answer the phone.

Eddie looked over the unanswered messages on his phone, staring down at the screen as he sat at the table in the loft of the firehouse with Hen and Chimney. He had barely slept the night before, his mind feeling full and his bed feeling empty without Buck. He wasn't sure how long he had stood staring at the door or how many times he had tried to call Buck, and as he thought back to the previous night, all he could see was the hurt in Buck's eyes.

He thought about Buck's question and knew the answer. Why would Chris run? Because that's exactly what Eddie would do. It was what Eddie had done a dozen times before. Why face what's right in front of you when you could just run away instead? Hell, he had done exactly that when Chris was born and when he had realised what he was feeling for Buck, and maybe that was exactly what he was doing right now. All that therapy and progress, and there he was, ready to run.

His fingers worked at his phone, halfway through typing another message when he heard footsteps thumping up the stairs to the loft and pushed up in his seat to face the owner. But instead of seeing Buck, Ravi pushed forward with a wide smile on his face to join everyone.

"Hey guys," he greeted them, already moving toward the kitchen area where Bobby held out a plate of breakfast for him.

"Hey, Ravi?" Hen questioned, her face turning up as she looked at him. "I thought you had the day off."

"Oh, I did," Ravi answered, and he took his place at the table opposite Eddie. "But I got a message from Buck asking if we could swap shifts. Said he had something to do?"

Eddie felt his stomach drop at that, his chest tightening. He didn't miss the stares from Hen and Chimney, or the raised eyebrow from Bobby as he joined them at the head of the table.

"Oh yeah?" Bobby questioned, looking between Eddie and Ravi. "That's not like Buck."

"No," Hen said, her voice sharp and gaze hard as she stared Eddie down. "It's not."

"Come to think of it," Chimney added, "you've been awfully quiet this morning, Eddie."

Eddie let go of a long breath and sunk in his seat as he pushed his phone into his pocket. "We had a-"

"Fight?" Hen supplied.

"Argument?" Chimney added.

"Disagreement…" Eddie pushed out.

They said nothing, simply watching him, waiting for him to continue.

"He thinks we could tell Chris… about us."

"You mean you haven't told him yet?" Bobby questioned.

"It's not like I haven't thought about it."

"Thinking about something is a lot different than doing it." Hen looked at Eddie from over the rim of her cup, tilting her head slightly.

"It's a big step. I mean, he hasn't even told his parents about us yet…"

"And you've told yours?"

Eddie let go of a sigh. "That's different."

"Why? Because they're in Texas?" Chimney countered, shovelling a forkful of breakfast into his mouth.

Eddie had no answer to that. He already knew he was just making excuses. He knew his fear was holding him back.

"As far as Buck is concerned, we're his family," Bobby spoke up, nursing his coffee as he met and held Eddie's gaze. "And the only person in his family that doesn't know about you two right now is Christopher. I get it, you're worried about Chris. You don't want him to get hurt, and neither does Buck. That's the thing about Buck, when he makes his mind up about something, he goes all in. He's not the type to only go halfway."

"Besides," Hen added, "what makes you so sure Chris doesn't already know?"

"Why would he know?" Eddie questioned.

"Well, you're not exactly good at hiding it," Ravi answered with a laugh, the others falling silent as he looked up from his breakfast, his face falling when he looked between them all. "Was I… was I not supposed to say that?"

Hen thinned her lips, determinedly looking away from Eddie, and Chimney matched her energy by forcing another forkful of food into his mouth, making it so he couldn't answer. Bobby also became extremely interested in the contents of his cup.

When none of them answered, even as Eddie glared in their direction, he turned his attention back to Ravi. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying," Ravi explained, "when I first joined the 118, I thought you and Buck were already dating. And when you actually started dating… it was kind of obvious. Right, guys?"

But the others shook their heads excessively, trying their best to look innocent.

"Yeah," Eddie grunted, looking pointedly at Chimney, "and I'm sure that has nothing to do with someone being unable to keep a secret?"

"Hey! I didn't tell anyone," Chimney defended, earning himself a raised eyebrow and scoff from Hen which led him to correct himself. "Okay, except for Ravi. But in my defence, he'd already figured it out and I was just confirming what he already knew."

"Yeah," Ravi continued, digging back into his breakfast, "so as long as you aren't staring longingly into each other's eyes and 'accidentally' finding reasons to touch, I'm sure Christopher has no idea."

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A/N: Thank you for reading! Chapter 8 coming soon...