Chapter 5: The Steps We Take
"How much further?"
"It's the farmhouse up ahead! The owner, Hershel, he'll help!"
Michonne had passed out while they ran. Rick's heart pounded against his ribcage, a tremendous beat that echoed throughout his body, matching the pace of his increasing terror. Their legs took control, each step requiring a monumental effort, as if the weight of their terror had crept into their bones, making mobility difficult. Even so, Rick and Daryl pushed through.
"What happened!"
"I accidentally shot the girl. She needs help!"
"Put her in Shawn's room; I'll be back soon. Maggie, help them!"
"Come on! Put her here!"
"Where the hell is he going? I thought you said he was a doctor!"
Rick seized Otis' collar with white-knuckled tenacity, fingers straining under the pressure, the guy standing before him like an open invitation to release his wrath. Daryl pressed Rick's shoulder to calm him down. While the young brunette, Maggie, halted her preparation to address the unfamiliar individuals in her presence,
"He will just give him a second; he's just getting things together. I promise!"
Just then, Hershel came in with a blonde who looked to be in her mid-to-late forties behind him. He paid no mind to the three men, going straight to work.
"She needs blood. What's her type?"
"AB negative!"
"AB negative? Any of you a negative match?"
"I'm a universal donor!"
"Good! I'll need you all to leave. Patricia prep her. What's your name, young man?"
"Daryl."
"Daryl, come help me with this."
"I'm coming too!"
"Son, I understand how you feel, but you'll just get in the way. If I need you, I'll call."
"He'll leave, but there're others in our group. They're gonna need to know what the hell's going on." Daryl said, stepping in front of Rick.
"I'll go with Otis!"
"Be careful, Maggie!" Hershel warned.
"I will, Daddy!"
…
Rick sat outside the door, waiting. His foot began to tap back and forth more and more as time passed. He knelt and covered his face. As dread and terror clouded his view, the edges of his surroundings warped and distorted, turning even familiar objects into horrific apparitions. Despite the coldness of the room, beads of sweat marked his brow as dread held him, eagerly attempting to suffocate him.
"How could I be so stupid? Oh my God!"
He clutched at his chest, fingers trembling, as if trying to keep his racing heart from leaping out of his body while he heard her scream. He paced the room for the remaining time until the door opened.
"She's safe for the time being; I stopped the blood, but I need to remove the remaining fragments. I'll have to delve further to find the others. There's more to it. Her stomach is swollen, and her blood pressure is falling, indicating internal bleeding."
"She pregnant…"
"I know, son. Daryl told me."
"Then?" His voice was almost non-existent.
"One of the blood vessels must have been cut by a fragment. I need to open her up, find the bleeder, and sew it up. And she cannot continue to move while I am inside. I mean, not at all. If she does, I'll cut an artery, and she'll die in a matter of minutes. Daryl gave her blood; helped Patricia hold her down. He's been a real trooper. I just wanted to tell you, just in case and depending on where the fragments are,"
"Do what you got to do. Can I come in?"
"You don't need to. Patricia and Daryl been doing just fine, and you should talk to your people."
Hershel walked back in before he could answer. Rick was confused when he heard familiar voices in front of him. It was the group with Shane at the helm.
"Where is she?"
"Inside. She's in surgery…" Rick pointed his chin in her direction. His face was weary.
"What the hell happened?"
"I'll explain everything later, but keep your voice down. Don't cause a distraction."
"Where's Daryl?" Sasha stepped up to ask.
"Inside, helping."
"And you're just here?"
"Shane, stop! Don't overwhelm him. Rick, she'll be fine; she's strong."
Sasha couldn't believe Shane would be so thoughtless with his words. She understood his fear and restlessness, even his frustration. She was as well, but she knew Rick was feeling ten times worse. Sasha went to his side to comfort him, and at the same time, Jeff came forward.
"What did the doctor say?"
"Fragments are still in her, causing internal bleeding; he's removing them."
"So we wait."
…
It had been more than four hours when Hershel came back; this time, Daryl was behind him. Rick got up, unable to utter a word due to a lump in his throat, and like the rest of the group, turned to the man to get answers. Hershel looked at Daryl, and Daryl looked to the group specifically at Rick, nodding his head. The heavy room became a hundred times lighter, and Rick's body weakened under tension, leaving his shoulders.
"There's a lot of you here. Sorry, but you all can't go in at the same time." He went to Rick. "She was lucky; both of them were. She'll be asleep awhile, though."
Rick didn't wait for anything else, rushing to the room. Shane and Sasha followed him in. Patricia was still inside, with Michonne cleaning up.
"She's a fighter!"
"Huh? Yeah…"
"Sorry, we haven't formally met yet. I'm Patricia, Otis's wife. I'm so sorry about what happened. He feels just terrible."
"He's the one?"
"Shane, don't. It was an accident; he was going for the deer, but the bullet went straight through. He rushed us here. Thank you for all you've done."
"No need! I'm Hershel's nurse; it's my job, and besides, it's the least I could do after everything that happened. I'll take good care of her until she's well; I swear on my mama."
Rick nodded in acknowledgement before moving to Michonne's bedside. Sasha went to the opposite side while Shane glued his back to the bedroom wall, folding his arms. Patricia decided to leave for the time being to give them a moment. The trio stayed like that for a time until Sasha broke the silence.
"Rick…"
"Hmm."
"We need to look for a long-term place. Somewhere more stable, somewhere this won't happen again... Somewhere, she could have the baby."
"You think this farm is 'That somewhere'?" He knew her long enough to know how her mind worked.
"Yeah… This place I was looking at it on our way here. It's so untouched. Good land. We could build up the fencing; they even have a well! Let's not forget they have a doctor, and I already know the two of you been talking about it. She and I did too. She may not look it, but she is worried, Rick."
"That sounds good—real good—but that depends on Hershel and if he wants us here. He doesn't know us."
"Which is why I think if anyone can convince him, it's you. And if we're being honest, these people kind of owe us."
"What about you, Shane? What do you think?"
"I don't like the people here, but Miss Sassy over there got a point. When the baby comes, we can't be on the road; hell, we might not even keep up being on the road that long. We don't got a choice."
"Alright, while Chonne's recovering, I'll find the right time and talk to Hershel. Until then, we should try making a good impression."
"I'm going to figure out our sleeping arrangements; check on Daryl."
He stroked Michonne's hair; his thoughts carried him far as Sasha exited. Shane kept his eyes on his friend. Sensing his gaze, their eyes met, but he broke it off.
"Say what you got to say, Shane."
"How could you be so stupid? You take her hunting just cause she say so? Let me ask you something, Rick. You even think about what would've happened if it ain't have a doctor around, or what if he didn't want to help; that's an option."
"You think I ain't thought about that!" Rick took a breath and quieted his voice. "I made a mistake, and it ain't never gonna happen again. That I guarantee."
"I hope it ain't just horseshit, Rick."
"What's that supposed to mean?" He spun his body to face Shane with a piercing stare.
"I'm saying the way you usually operate ain't gonna cut it."
Just as Rick was about to respond, Maggie came in mid-discussion.
"I hope I'm not interrupting; the group wanted to see you."
"No, you're not. Thanks for letting us know." Rick gave her a kind smile.
"How is she?"
"She's good. Thank you for all you've done, really."
Shane rolled his eyes as he walked past Maggie. He held a strong dislike for Otis and, by extension, everyone associated with him. And the young woman was no exception. Rick walked to her, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Pay no mind to him. Shane just—we're all basically family. Daryl Shane and Sasha, I mean."
"I understand. Can't say I blame him, as much as it stinks getting all of 'em dirty looks. Don't worry about leaving her. Patricia will take care of her. My father says that you guys can stay in here until she's well enough and the little girl, Sophia, right? My little sister, Beth, is staying with her. She'd be happy to know she's alright!"
"Thanks again. I mean it from the bottom of my heart."
Rick didn't even realise that Sophia hadn't been around and wondered how she was taking everything. His face grew pensive as he took a look around the farm, bitterly enjoying the night breeze, before he walked to meet the rest of the group around the RV. They all turned to him, sensing his oncoming presence. It was the first time he actually paid attention to the place, and watching their large group, he could not help but agree with Sasha that this was good for all of them. Glenn was the first to speak.
"You're here!"
"We're gonna stay here until Michonne's back on her feet. Hershel said it was okay."
"So we got shelter for a bit. That means we still have to find somewhere…"
Rick looked at Sasha, wondering what she told them.
Damn it, Sasha, I still got to talk to Hershel. Nothing's sure yet!
"Yeah, but I got plans. I want us here long-term, if they'll have us. While we're here, we should make ourselves useful; secure the place."
"Alright, that sounds like a plan; we should get s—"
"And what do we do if they don't want us here?" Andrea cut Glenn off.
"Then we leave; we look for somewhere tenable. That was always the plan, so it shouldn't change anything. We just might've found that place sooner than we thought."
The group agreed. First thing in the morning, Glenn and Sasha decided to go on a run, and the rest of the group except Shane and Jeff went to help out, leaving Rick to help Hershel as he wanted.
…
"Hi, I Never got to thank you for saving her."
"It was the least I could do after what Otis did. She's lucky, though it may not look it. Got shot upper-left area of the abdomen. Missed piercing the Stomach, but there was bruising along with the blood vessels getting cut from the fragments, of course."
"When is she gonna wake up?"
"That depends. She lost a lot of blood, but Daryl gave her some, but that takes a while for the body to adjust to. Her body's gonna need a lot of rest, on top of being pregnant. And though the bullet didn't exactly hit an organ, there was still damage. She might be in and out for a few days from the pain since I can't give her certain painkillers, and what I got that's okay for her to use is limited. How long she takes to wake up for good is on her, but I say give it a few days—two or three, in my opinion. It'll take weeks for her to get on her feet properly, though maybe two weeks at least."
"What meds? I'll go look for some tomorrow."
"Paracetamol. Codeine is useful too. There's a drugstore near my old doctor's office in town. I'll have Otis show you."
"Thank you for everything... This place, it's so… untouched. It's almost like I can forget what's going on."
"Mhmm. Rick, while you all are here, I will do my best to take care of her; however, there are rules I have for you and your people, and once everyone is better and healthy, You must pack up to leave."
"Okay…We will."
Rick knew it was too early to bring it up, as much as he wanted to, but it was a comfort that they still had time to persuade the elder guy. He checked on Michonne once more, and the gang then proceeded to help Hershel, hoping to discover more about him. Later, he took Shane and went west of the farm to the forest.
The woodland into which they ventured was lush and green. Because of the heavy rain the night before, the blades of grass they walked on were damp beneath their feet. Rick was astounded by the trees' magnitude and majesty. Their entwined arms soared as far as their heads could lift. They were ancient fortifications that stood proudly. They could see wild Wood nettles growing freely on the floor's clumpy, mossy bedding. The smell was conveyed by the simpering breeze. It was good to inhale the mulchy blend of the forest's aroma.
"We should take some back. Hershel said he would like some when I told him we were coming here."
"Not gonna lie, Rick; this is a good place. It needs work, though."
"I honestly thought you would fight me and Sasha on this."
"Why should I? The place is good; it's the people that's the damn problem."
"It was an accident."
"That never should've happened in the first fucking place."
Rick stared at Shane. His slate-blue eyes, predatory and probing with an arched eyebrow.
"Did something happen?"
"What?"
"With Michonne. You see. Since I got back, something's been off."
"The hell you talking about?"
"I don't want to think about it, and the logical part of me says that Michonne wouldn't do that but," Rick pulled his brows together before looking at Shane again. "Tell me, did something happen?"
"You're crazy, man. You've lost your fucking mind." Shane dismissed the accusation.
"When I got back, Michonne was weird. I thought it was the shock, and I know she felt guilty, but what if I was wrong about what she was feeling guilty about? She's been… Tell me, Shane. I been gone a while—almost two months—so I understand that things could happen; after all, you thought I was dead—she thought I was."
"Did Lori or getting shot fuck with your head, man? How could you even ask that? You know what? I'm not doing this shit!" Shane began to leave, wanting out of this conversation.
"From the way you talk to her—the way you look at her, I've seen it. So tell me the truth."
As Shane's jaw was tightly clenched, muscles twitched with every restrained need to strike out; his eyes blazed with burning wrath; the air hummed with tension. He didn't want to fight Rick or acknowledge any of what he said, but the last statement caught him off guard. He spun with speed only to see Rick staring at him with a paper-blank face; the air around them, however, painted a different story.
"I want the truth, Walsh. I can let it go. I will, for all three of our sakes. So tell me."
Rick nodded as if to convince himself of all he was saying. His neck bent to the point where his head couldn't descend much lower. He remained like this for almost a few moments before returning his gaze to Shane.
"You know, Rick, that first week you were gone—after we got out the city, she just laid around; she couldn't even eat; she could do shit... Let me ask you something, Rick. How can you stand there and ask that?" Shane rubbed his face, trying to keep his cool. "No, ain't nothing happened between us. Sorry if that disappointed you; I'm going back."
…
The two didn't speak to each other for two whole days, but Rick didn't let it bother him as he continued helping Hershel and the group and spent the remainder of the time with Michonne. He was by her side right then. He had been going nonstop, and sitting by her side now, keeping his eyes open, was almost more work than it was worth. He became sluggish, every action requiring a painstaking effort, as if fatigue had turned his limbs into leaden weights, resisting every movement. He wanted to look at her face. It was nowhere near as pale as it'd been three nights ago. He was surprised to see her huge, sensitive brown eyes flutteringly staring up at him. Locked in a catatonic gaze, one would think he was the injured party. That didn't last long, though, as a gentle smile snuck up on him. He knew she was up for good this time.
"You look tired, Rick…"
She stretched her weak hand to caress his face. He leaned in, rubbing his cheek in her warm touch, then he let their foreheads touch.
"Yeah? I feel tired..." His lips had been turned up in a soft, distorted smile.
Seeing her now, the guilt twisted his heart, questioning her loyalty to him. The little hairs on his body stood on end the second he looked into her soft, lovely eyes.
If you knew, would you hate me? Shane was right about what he said about you. I knew it in the back of my mind; I knew it the moment he said it, but you scared me. But I wasn't wrong in questioning him. He never acknowledged what I said. I know I'm not crazy.
"What's wrong, Rick?"
"Nothing, Darling! I'm just so happy you're awake. You scared me!"
He caressed her hair, and their joy shone through their eyes. The longer he admired her, the softer his eyes grew, but his gaze turned to worry when he saw her flash with fear as her hand fell to her tummy. Her lips gaped, unsure whether she should exhale or wail. He immediately laid his hand over hers to calm her down.
"The baby?"
"The baby is fine, Darling."
"Really?"
"Really!"
"Oh, thank God, I thought..." She trailed off, covering her face, as she breathed a sigh of relief. "What about Sophia? Shane, Daryl, Sasha? Where are they?"
"A girl named Beth is watching Sophia; the rest are on the farm."
"It's a long story, but the man who owns it saved your life. I'll explain everything in due time, but I don't wanna overwhelm you."
Her eyes gleamed as Rick delivered her the good news about the farm, the group, and most of all, her condition. Hershel continued to monitor Michonne's aftercare, and a week later she could leave the bed but wasn't allowed to do anything strenuous. The group enjoyed this spot, and most of them began to mix with the farm's residents. Rick understood they wanted to stay, and he did as well, so he implored Hershel to see if he would reconsider. Hershel became increasingly frustrated with Rick and his group of survivors as they began taking stuff from him without asking, and both groups began coexisting far too well. He had previously made references to Maggie and her relationship with Glenn. His daughter had become comfortable with the young man, and he wasn't having it.
Michonne, being the social butterfly that she is, not only befriended the man's daughters, Patricia and Otis, but managed to get close to Hershel as well. She spent most of the time during her early recovery just talking to Maggie, who was only a few years younger than her, and Beth, who was a sweetheart. She liked learning about the girls, even watching old tapes and going through yearbook photos. Since she couldn't do much, She and Sophia usually spent most of the day as Hershel's tail, learning gardening and medicine. At first, he was resistant but quickly warmed up to them both. It may have shocked everyone in the group, except Shane, Daryl and Rick. The man was quite similar to her father, so they understood right away. Rick took his thoughts one step closer, seeing an opportunity, waiting for a chance to strike. Before they knew it, they had been at the farm for a month.
"Hey, Glenn?"
"Yeah, Michonne. You okay?"
"Yeah, I heard you and Maggie were going for a run."
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Need something?"
"I'm coming with you."
Glenn looked at her face, then at her protruding belly, then at her face again. His eyes darted all over the place to see if anyone saw them or heard their discussion. When he was sure they were in the clear, he pulled her behind the tool shed.
"Are you trying to get me killed? Rick won't fly for that, and let's not forget the elephant in the room!" He pointed at her tummy.
"I'm a grown-ass woman, last time I checked. And I'm basically all healed."
"That's not what I'm worried about!"
"I'll be fine. I won't get in you guy's way. I just—there's something I want to do. Come on, Glenn. Please."
"This is such a terrible idea. We leave in five minutes; make sure no one sees you."
"Thanks, Glenn!"
…
Glenn, Maggie and Michonne had been checking houses and mansions, one behind the other. They put down any dead they found in the homes and took what necessities they needed back at the farm, such as clothes, food, and toiletries. The current mansion they raided still had a running generator so they took whatever perishables with them at were still good.
"I thought you guys were going into town."
"Glenn lied!"
"I didn't lie; I just had a change of plans. I wasn't going to take her into town!"
"What made you bring her in the first place? She can't really offer much help."
"She begged, saying she had something to do."
"I am right here, people! Haven't I been helping?"
"We know, we know. The mansions were a good idea, though. We hit the jackpot. And your sword looks cool too."
"It's a katana."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Should you even allow you to use that? You gonna tell Rick about your shiny new toy?"
"Is Rick my father? I don't have to explain shit to him."
"Watch her explain when we get back!"
"Oh, does Hershel know that you're here… with him?"
Maggie's mouth fell open at her words. Though she was trying to hide it, the corners of her mouth were twitching upward, urging her to laugh.
"You bitch!" Maggie yelled, hitting Michonne with her shoulder.
"You don't have to worry, though. They won't even know we left."
"Huhh?"
"Hershel had something in mind today. Rick, Tyrese, Daryl, Jeff and Shane are with him. I think Dale went too. Not sure why he would go, but hey."
"Ohh, you sly dog, that's why you asked me to come. And you made me sweat to come up with an excuse."
"Sorry, Glenn! It was fun seeing you squirm." Michonne and Maggie laughed out.
"Very funny! Why did you want to come anyway? It's not like you couldn't tell us what you needed."
"I wanted to come myself so that I'd find things for Sophia. Books I think she could use; clothes; start getting things for baby Grimes and such. I want to be the one to get that stuff. Four months are going to pass fast, by then it'll be freezing cold. I want to be prepared."
"How are you so positive about the baby thing?"
Michonne was taken aback by Maggie's question. Over her stay here, Hershel made it clear that he believed that what was happening had a cure. Tdog, Andrea, Jeff, Shane and Sasha thought him a senile old man who was far too sheltered to understand the gravity of the situation; Tyrese and Dale tried to be more understanding; Daryl, Glenn and Rick didn't express an opinion; and Michonne felt like there was something underlying. Patricia, Otis, Beth and Maggie follow Hershel's will and opinion for the most part, but recently she began to see a change in the latter. Maggie had been assimilating well with the group, specifically Glenn. As she spent more time experiencing the outside world for what it was, she wasn't sheltered like the others anymore; that much was apparent to Michonne.
"Honestly, there was a lot of doubt. And I mean a lot." She let out a self-deprecating laugh and took a moment. "It's easier having this baby with someone that means the world to me, with people I consider to be the only family I have left. It makes it easier because it doesn't matter how hard it gets; I know they're going to be there and that we'll have each other to rely on. This baby also reminds me that I'm still alive and that even if life is shit now, it still goes on. Sophia does that for me too. I was ready to be a mom before everything popped off. What's happening now doesn't change anything."
She stroked her stomach gently. Her face was ever-so soft. Michonne had come to terms with everything. She was scared but ready for whatever lay ahead.
"Wow… That was really s—"
"Sappy!"
"Screw you!"
"Glenn!" Maggie tapped him behind the head before the three of them broke up into giggles.
"I think we have everything; let's head back."
…
They got back to the farm safely. Michonne left the two on there own to sort out their finds, gaining their permission to do so. She headed straight for her ward. She found her little mouse with Beth. They were always together. Michonne knocked on the door to gain their attention so that Sophia could follow her back to her room.
"Sophia, come try these on."
Michonne helped her put on a long, thick pair of jeans, a long-sleeved tee shirt, a baseball cap, and boots that she found during her hunt. She had brought three pairs of clothes back, along with two jean jackets. The clothes fit, but the boots were a little big, but that was okay since she was a growing girl.
"Do you like them?"
"They're okay. Why did you bring me more clothes? Beth already gave me some of her old ones."
"They're not good enough. If something ever happens, I want to lessen the chance of you getting hurt. These boots are leather; it'll be harder to bite through. The jeans are more protective and resilient than those three-quarter pants you've been wearing. And if we're ever out and about, a longer top is good, and wear your jacket. Okay?"
"What if it's hot?"
"What's with all the twenty questions today?" Michonne raised her right brow. "As long as you're not overheating, you'll wear them. It'll be good to keep your hair short, too."
"My mom used to cut my hair."
"You don't want me to?"
"It's not that... My dad used to grab it, so Mom cut it…"
Her voice trailed off as her shoulder dropped. She glanced down, unwilling to keep eye contact for fear of being seen. Michonne, noting this developer, took her hands in hers. She softened her tone and made sure her expression was as pleasant as possible.
"Sweetpea, do you want me to cut your hair? It's okay if you don't want me to, you know."
She could scarcely hear the kid speak since her words were hushed in their sorrow.
"No." She shook her head. "I don't want to."
"I won't then... Sophie, if there's something that makes you uncomfortable or worries you, don't be afraid to tell me; you can always come to me. Sometimes I'll have to make a decision as an adult that you may not like, but I promise I will always do what's best for you and I will never hurt you, and if it bothers you, we can always talk about it, okay?"
"I'm sorry!" She hugged her.
"Don't apologise. Don't ever apologise for how you feel; you didn't do anything wrong. I'm happy you can share your feelings with me, and I would love for you to do it more in the future. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes." Sophia nodded.
"You know… I brought some books for English, Mathematics and Social Studies. They're a little advanced but we'll manage. An old MP3 player, nail polish to have fun with, and some headphones. They're for you. You can leave the books with me, though."
"Do I still need books?"
"Uhh, yes! Learning never stops, my dear, but I'll give you a break today. Change, then I'll let you go."
"Okay!"
Leaving the girl to change, she got up and went to the kitchen. She was making herself some tea when arms wrapped around her from behind. She knew who it was from his scent.
"Your back!"
"Mhmm, how was your day?" He buried his nose in the creek of her neck.
"It was okay. Nothing much went on. Took a walk."
"By yourself?"
"Rick, please don't."
"Sweetheart, just bear with me." He turned her to face him. "I worry, that's all."
"I know, but still, Rick."
"I'm not trying to limit you; I just want you safe. If you want to go out, I want you to have someone by your side, just in case. Is that too much to ask?"
"No…"
"So you're gonna humour me?"
"Mhmm…"
He turned her back around and wrapped his arms back around her, stoking her stomach.
"And how are we today, mhm!"
"Good, your kid's greedy, Rick. I've been eating all evening, and I'm still hungry. This is ridiculous!"
"I think it means she's healthy. Hershel said you carry small and you need to steadily gain some weight. Our baby girl is doing her job. How would she feel about her mother scolding her, huh? Before she was around, let's not forget how much you—"
"Careful Grimes! I'm getting heartburn too… She must have got a lot of hair. And. My. Back."
"All signs that she's healthy!"
"Rick, my vagina hurts."
"It's pelvic pain, sweety. What do you want me to rub it?"
"You horny bastard!"
"It was an honest suggestion. I thought you were supposed to be less moody."
"Excuse me!"
"Just teasing, just teasing!"
"Did you talk to Hershel?"
"Yeah, this morning. Said he'd think about it, but I think he's already made up his mind. He let us haul a whole ultrasound machine to check up on you, and he's kind of coming around on Glenn. Today he had us doing all kinds of stuff. He likes you and Sophia."
As Michonne was going to speak, Glenn came dashing into the kitchen, glancing around, not focusing on anything, with a momentary look of discomfort across his face. His voice cracked and tightened under their eyes. Rick stepped away from Michonne as his eyebrows arched.
"Glenn?"
"They're walkers in the barn…"
"What was that?"
"No, we heard that... What do you mean there are walkers in the barn?"
"I was waiting for Maggie—well, I thought was waiting for her but—"
"Glenn, get to the point."
"We can go check it out."
"Rick—"
"You stay here. I'll go see what's up, then talk to Hershel."
"Be careful!" Rick kissed her hand to reassure her before going off with Glenn.
…
Rick came back with a dire look on his face. His expression confirmed everything, and her mind began spiralling out of control, stuck on thoughts about what they had learned. She held her belly and sat down.
"Rick…"
"The barn's full of 'em. I'm guessing family and friends, maybe others. I asked Hershel about it." He rubbed his eyes. "Said that we should leave it be." He sat on the bed next to her.
"We can't just let it go! It's dangerous! You'll have to make Hershel see, Rick."
"I know I'll deal with it."
"Does the group know?"
"Glenn's letting everyone know." He took her hand. "I'll convince Hershel. I promise."
"Can the group keep this quiet? I don't want Sophia knowing about this. She's afraid of those things. I mean way more than normal. She may be irrational."
"I'll talk to 'em. Don't worry."
"Maggie understands. Use her if you have to."
Rick was about to leave when they heard a loud argument at the front. Desperation etched its way into every crease of his forehead, and he sprinted to the noise, with Michonne not far behind.
"They couldn't wait, huh?"
"Shane, what's going on?"
"That old man has lost his mind. I'm not sleeping another night here with those things right there!" He walked over to Michonne, levelling with her.
Shane, keep her out of it!"
"You understand me, right? You know as well as I do. That damn stubborn old man ain't just gonna change his tune. It's all horse shit. Rick talking to him ain't gonna mean squat; he's selling a pipe dream! That old fool kept this from us for more than a month. You agree with me, right, Chonne?"
"I agree with you that the issue of the barn must be solved, but not like this. Let Rick talk to him. This is Hershel's land; he said no guns; we can't go around making orders! He thinks there's hope, that there's a cure, that all of this is for a time."
"And it's bullshit! He needs to understand that this is it! There ain't no cure! Those things ain't people no more. I know you see where I'm coming from. Think about Sophia."
"This isn't your choice to make, Shane." Her voice lowered, seeing Sophia at the door and Hershel and the others on their way.
"You're right; it ain't. It's the group. What's yours, Chonne?"
"Sophia, go to your room now! This is not a discussion!" Though she kept her eyes on Shane, she saw the little girl leave. "This is not the way."
"Shane, don't." Rick stepped up to stop him.
"Sasha, Daryl, Jeff. What about you?" They paused for a bit but took the guns.
"Blondie, here!" Andrea took it without a second thought.
"What you're doing is wrong! Andrea, you're allowing this?"
"Dale's right; We'll talk to him."
"No, Shane's right! We can't let this go on any longer."
"I thought you of all people would be understanding, Andrea. The man is obviously grieving."
"Don't you lay that card, Tyrese!"
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Right on time, old man."
"Shane!"
"Rick, I want him gone!"
"Shane, there's still a chance!"
"You gonna get 'em killed, Rick. Glenn, open that barn up. Pay attention, old man!"
As the dead began to walk out, Shane and the others who had agreed with him got into position to slaughter them. He had a point to prove to Hershel and to Rick, and he was going to prove it.
"Can a living person survive this?" The shots rang out loud and clear. "How about this!"
"No! Mama!"
"I got you, Beth! Don't look! Don't Look."
Maggie cradled her sister to her bosom as she sobbed in pain. They sank until they were sitting on their haunches, involuntarily attempting to make themselves as small as possible. Beth's voice dropped into an inconsolable lament, hardly able to catch her breath for the next wailing. Hershel simply stood next to Patricia and Otis. Michonne could sense the fear and pain emanating from all three of them, particularly Hershel. They stood still, attempting to comprehend what was going on. She covered her mouth, trying to keep her breath from becoming shallow and raspy as her chest began to stir. Rick held on to her from behind. Dale walked away, unable to bear witness any longer. When Shane and the others were done, everything was still and silent, minus Beth's stabbing cries.
…
"Can we talk?"
"We have nothing to talk about, Shane."
"He needed to see for himself."
"He did need to see for himself, but badly done, Shane!" Michonne threw her hands up. "It's easy for you not to care about anybody else other than Shane Walsh!"
"What are you talking about? What I did, I did for us!"
"You didn't do it for us! You did it for you! Have you ever tried to put yourself in somebody else's shoes, for once? Doesn't it bother you seeing what you did to a grieving family? How can you be so heartless?"
"Is that what you think of me?" He passed his hand through his hair. "I feel bad, Chonne. I do… Maybe there'd been a better way, but it's done. I did what I did to protect us—to protect you, Sophia, Daryl, Sasha Jeff."
"That may be the case, but don't act like it was totally pure of heart, because it wasn't."
"What do you mean?"
"You've disliked Hershel and the others since we got here, and don't think I haven't known that something happened between you and Rick? Others might miss it, but I won't."
"You're right, I don't give a damn about these people; I don't feel bad about that. Hell, they could die tomorrow, and it ain't gonna bother me, but I meant it when I said I felt bad. As for Rick, that's between me and him."
"Look, I don't want to continue this conversation any longer. Beth's a mess, and Hershel and Rick have been gone for two hours. I don't have time for this."
"I know you're mad at me, but I'm gonna make it up to you. I'm sorry."
"I'm not the one you should be apologising to."
"Even so. I'm gonna bring 'em back." He swung to leave but paused, hearing her voice.
"Thank you…"
…
Michonne went to check on Beth. She gave the girl some alone time, knowing she'd need it, but she didn't want to put it off any longer. Beth's nose was bloodshot and runny. She sat with her face supported by her bent knees, not a sound escaping as it did during the barn massacre. Maggie remained by her side the entire time, caressing her back and providing comfort and reassurance to her younger sister. Michonne sat on the side of her bed, the three of them silent. And what could she possibly say? This young girl had just lost all her hope. The family she had hoped would return was smothered out in the flash of an eye, and the terrible truth of reality pierced its head from the depths where it had been buried. Eventually, Beth fell asleep. Michonne looked at Maggie, gave her a nod, and left, making her way to the kitchen to prepare dinner for Sophia. Unexpectedly, Andrea was at the small table at the centre, drinking a cup of coffee.
"Hello, Michonne."
"Good evening…"
"Do you know where Shane is?"
"He went to get Rick and Hershel." Her eyebrow rose in suspicion. "Is there something you need from him?"
"He was right, you know. They need to understand what those things are."
"That's quite funny coming from you considering how you acted when Amy got bit."
"That's precisely because of Amy that I understand; he was right then too. He made a choice that Rick was too weak to make; even Sasha, Daryl and Jeff saw that. If something happened to that barn before we even knew what was in there, all of us might be dead. Shane has the balls to make the decisions that Rick can't."
"Shut the fuck up. You're right about the barn; I'll give you that. But don't you dare speak on Rick or Shane, for that matter. You don't know them, and don't pretend like you do. Rick is the reason we've been here—somewhere safe and stable. Did it ever occur to you what the consequence might be for the stunt you did today? How about the psychological torment that Beth's going through right now? Rick convinced him to let us stay; why couldn't you give him the chance to try and convince Hershel?"
"Rick convinced Hershel, not for us but for you, so that you would have a place to have that baby. As for Beth, now she knows the truth and how to decide. Where do you get off, preaching to everybody?"
"Preaching, really, Andrea?" Michonne made a light laugh at Andrea's accusation.
"Yes, preaching! You walk around all high and mighty—"
"Oh my God!"
"Like some earth mother, playing buddy-buddy with Hershel! What have you helped with?"
"Excuse me? I got shot! I almost died! I'm sorry I couldn't go around pretending to be useful to Shane and the others like you with your average shot and your meat riding, and when I did get the chance to move around, I had to take it easy, but I was there helping out, learning from Hershel, taking care of Sophia! The food you eat, I helped cook it! The clean clothes on your back, I helped wash it! The coffee you're drinking, I brewed it! It was Maggie and Patricia who helped. Helshel is the one who owns whatever you consume. This is his land. The truth is, you don't care about anyone but yourself, so how could I possibly expect any care from you towards the people you're surviving off of!"
"You don't know me! I was a civil rights lawyer! I helped people, and just because you disagree with what we did doesn't mean you're right! You don't have to make the tough decisions. You just have to sit and stroke that tummy of yours while Rick, Shane, Daryl and whomever else do your bidding, right? Not everyone is as lucky as you. You said it yourself. A baby on the way, a boyfriend and friends that bend over backwards to make you happy."
"I'm sorry that I have people who love me."Michonne's sarcastic tone was evident.
"You just don't get it! In the midst of everything, your boyfriend came back from the dead. You are literally starting a family while the rest of us are losing and having to protect what we have! We saved lives! What if we hurt some feelings? It's better than having them live in delusion."
"Just because you don't think you have much to live for doesn't mean everyone else is the same."
"What?"
"Rick, Shane, Sasha and Daryl are my family. We've always had each other, and we always will, and I make no apology for that. Jeff has Rick, Tyrese has Sasha, and Glenn cares about Maggie, which is why he feels like a piece of shit now. Beth still has her sister and her father; throw Patricia and Otis in there too for fun. You make it sound like I haven't lost anything." Her voice began to shake. "I will never see my parents again, not that it means anything to you. Dale cares about you so much, and he cared about Amy, but you're too self-centred to see it! I'm done with this conversation."
Andrea wasn't finished but was disrupted by the sound of Otis' Pickup truck that Hershel left with, followed by both Rick and Shane's cars. Michonne dropped what she was doing to rush out and greet Rick, and Andrea followed. Herschel called Tdog and Tyrese, who weren't far off, to help Shane carry an obviously wounded stranger.
"There was a shootout; two of his group tried to kill us, but we killed 'em. They left him behind when he accidentally got impaled. He's young, about Beth's age."
"Rick." Her voice dripped with worry.
"Hershel didn't want to leave him. The guys he was running with shot first."
"And you guys brought him back?"
"He's just a kid, and they left him to die. Don't worry, he's out like a light, and we covered his face just to be safe. We won't have him anywhere near the house; we'll lock him in the barn after Hershel patches him up and send him off miles out from here."
"Rick, I have a bad feeling about this."
"I know. We'll send him off first thing in the morning. As long as our conscience is clean. Sweetheart, he's just a kid… You guys should stay in the house and away from the barn until he's gone, okay?"
"Okay…"
"Okay… Go inside, Shane, and I will watch for the night." He played with her fingers before sending her off.
The next morning, Rick did exactly what he said he and Shane would do, causing Michonne to breathe a short sigh of relief. The farther that boy was away from the farm, the better; however, something kept nagging her. It was the ache in the bottom of her gut telling her that something wasn't right.
What is it? What am I missing? Am I being paranoid? Something isn't right. What is it?
She didn't want her negative energy to disturb anyone else, so she kept her feelings to herself. She went to the kitchen with Maggie and Patricia to start breakfast. Sophia was a fussy eater, so she sat to ensure she ate. When she was finished, the two took a bath, and she assisted her with some math problems and gave her an essay before going to help Hershel around the farm for about an hour. She checked on Rick and encouraged him to take a nap since he was running on little sleep. She went to find out about Beth, who was still huddled up within her bedroom walls with Maggie by her side. Maggie made certain she had something warm in her stomach. Michonne was content with this and proceeded down the hall, where she saw Sasha.
"Hey…"She went to find out about Beth, who was still huddled up within her bedroom walls with Maggie at her side. Maggie made certain she had something warm in her stomach. Michonne was content with this and proceeded down the hall, where she saw Sasha.
"Hey, Sash."
"Are you mad at us? We haven't talked since everything kicked off."
"No… Well, maybe at first, but not anymore. I do understand Sasha, really."
"I'm Glad…" They exchange smiles.
"Take a walk with me?"
"Lead the way."
"Hold on, I want to get something out of my room." Sasha didn't have to wait on her for long.
"Ready?"
"Yep."
…
"Are we gonna talk about it?"
"About what?"
"Don't play dumb; the Kitana, Michonne. Where did you even get it? And why the forest?"
"Does it matter? I want you to watch me while I practise."
"For what? You're not serious, are you? Does Rick know you're out here with that Kitana? I thought those things were dangerous, like cut off your fingers dangerous."
"Only if you're stupid."
"Oh, Okay… Whatever you say…"
"Live a little. Hey, there are two up ahead."
"You can use guns like everyone else. It's not like you didn't know how to shoot."
"I could, but what use would that be? Guns are loud, bullets run out. I've thought it through. Like Daryl with his crossbow; quick, silent, and mine won't run out of ammo."
"It requires being close to those things."
"It's just in case, Sasha. Watch for me."
Sasha pulled out a pistol she'd brought with her before she left, taking off the safety, ready to deal with the situation if it went left. Sasha was a bit surprised seeing that Michonne had managed to cut their heads off by their necks. She turned back to Sasha with a smug look on her face. Sasha didn't say anything; simply picking a leaf from a nearby tree before letting it escape her fingers and folding her arms, bringing her attention back to her friend.
"Why are we really out here, Chonne?"
"I told you. Hell, you saw me." She let out a light laugh.
"I mean the truth. What's wrong?"
Michonne leaned back slightly and let her eyes slowly close. Her lips curled into a tired sneer.
"The kid from last night."
"You didn't agree with them bringing him. He's gone. Nothing you can do or say now. Let it go, Chonne… Let's head back."
…
"Rick I thought you were with…"
"I wanted to see you."
"See me? You act like I've been gone for weeks."
"You been off all morning... I worried. Come on; talk to me."
"I'm not sure." She took a deep breath. "That kid, I think he looks familiar."
"Chonne."
"I know, Rick; I know. It's paranoia… It's getting to me."
"Talk to me; don't shut me out."
"Things went to shit quick... When we were on the road, I realised there was no going back to what we knew. We met a few people on the road, if one would call them people... It's funny how in so little time, others could lose their humanity."
"Those guys Shane and I killed today wanted the farm. They drew first, but we killed 'em. There were others outside, but they drove off, leaving that kid behind. Hershel couldn't leave him there. I don't think I'd live with myself if we did. A kid like that probably stayed with 'em to better his chances. They obviously didn't care about him if they abandoned him." He squeezed her hand. "I understand you. Things became much clearer to me after what happened yesterday… I'll always protect you and I will never let anything happen to you! You know that, right?"
"I know."
She pulled him closer as he bent his head to meet her level and planted a deep and passionate kiss on his lips. Rick pulled her onto his lap as his hand wrapped tightly around her small back. She rose from him for a moment and whispered,
"We've come a long way from you yelling at me for walking the street in the rain at 1:00 a.m: huh, Grimes?" He chuckled at her words.
"Don't forget the tank top, Pyjama shorts, and white fluffy flip-flops. You were such a headache."
"And you still knocked me up."
"Yes, I did."
He pulled her back in with no intention of letting up. His kiss was more vehement than before, almost as if his goal was to suck the air out of her lungs. Rick's hand began to wander up her vest, unclipping her bra. He slowed down, biting her bottom lip as he took her top off, but time was cut short when gunfire started ringing out. Rick pulled Michonne down with him from the bed. He pulled a pillow from the bed and stretched to grab his gun from the dresser."
"Rick!"
"Stay here; don't move! I'm gonna go look for Shane and the others. Jeff's still out there with Otis and so is Daryl."
"Rick! No!"
"I'll be right back. Use this pillow and stay down." He gave her forehead a kiss before crawling out the door.
Michonne began holding her chest as it rose and fell rapidly. She was hyperventilating. In that second, she started putting two and two together as she remembered where she saw that kid. It was when she was going through Beth's yearbook photos that she saw his face. It was a bit younger but it was him. She needed to confirm her suspicion—the ache that had been nagging in the bottom of her gut—the one that told her that something wasn't right. She crept over to the window and peeped out the window. Her mouth opened and closed without making a sound while her fingers dug painfully into her arm. She paid no mind to it as one of the strangers in front started talking. They had Jeff at gunpoint, along with Otis.
"Now it ain't had to get to this! You people killed our people! My son was one of those men! I see you guys have a nice little set-up here; you even got some fencing you're building up! That's good! I'll forgive what happened at the pub. I'll let all of you live, but we're taking this place! That's it! That's the deal—pretty fair, right?"
Rick, who had been listening with the others, grew livid as he watched Sasha bleeding from her right arm. The ridges of his neck became dangerously pronounced as a predatory expression to hold. He hoped that Michonne had listened to him and stayed put in the bedroom. He recognised one of the men. It was the boy they saved. He swallowed hard at the revelation. His brother was still there as a hostage and the men seemed to have a good number of guns. He had to think of the bigger picture: keeping everyone safe.
We covered his face, bringing him here and back. How? How did that little asshole know? They were smart, doing this at night, but that's where the intelligence ends.
"So let's say we think about your deal... Where the hell does that leave us?"
"Alive."
"That doesn't seem like a good deal. Your men attacked first; we just defended ourselves! We'd be homeless! We have children and a pregnant woman in our group. You're dooming 'em!"
"And how is that my problem?"
"Your plan involves waiting us out! If we take too long, that's when you'll start blazing, but we have weapons too! That'll just result in a shootout and the men here are quite good with guns. Just ask your boy there!"
"And what if I take that chance?"
"How many people are you willing to lose? We still have the cover of the farmhouse! You'll have much bigger losses than us, but here's the kicker: I don't want this conflict at all!"
"And why is that?"
"Like I said before, we have kids here, women, in which, one of 'em is pregnant! You see where I'm coming from? Leave our man and go! Think about your people."
Rick looked at Hershel, who was bandaging Sasha's shoulder, then at Shane. Daryl wasn't with Jeff. That knowledge uneased Rick to no end. Michonne was by herself, Daryl was missing, his brother was being held hostage and Sasha was shot, all on top of what was going on outside. The group heard a voice coming from the back.
"Rick, we have a problem."
"Daryl, good. You're safe!"
"Who are those assholes?"
"Part of the group we ran into yesterday. They want this place."
"They can have it."
"What?" Daryl's words stunned Hershel.
"A herd is coming through—a damn big one. There's no fighting that. We gotta get the fuck out of here…" Daryl came to a halt. "Those fuckers shot Sasha?"
"Yeah, they did. They shot up the house. How much time till the herd gets here?"
"About ten, maybe fifteen minutes."
"Alright then. Maggie, go get Michonne. Those people; they just want to get us out so they could kill us all. We have to get to the vehicles before that herd reaches; we can't get trapped here or we're dead."
Maggie left the living room with speed, careful not to let the people on the outside see. As Rick began to plan the next steps the group would take, the leader spoke up again.
"I thought about what you said! And I can't have that! I know about Beth, but she can hardly be counted as a child! I can't confirm what you say unless you come out—all of you! Then, we'll negotiate! What's your name, fellow?" The man waited a bit before hearing,
"It's Rick! I'm Rick Grimes!"
"Well, Rick, I'm Gordon! Don't let those people die because of ego or whatever dumb shit is holding you back! Come on now, Rick; be smart!"
"Let me talk to my people first!"
"Fine by me!"
Rick went to check the back window in the kitchen. Seeing what he wanted, he returned to the group as his eyes glowed with savage fire. He then saw that Maggie had returned with Michonne, who had a katana and bag, causing his mind to ease a bit.
"You were buying time." Herschel was the first to speak.
"Yep. Now that the walkers are basically here, it's time to leave. Grab your stuff now! Nothing to slow us down. Shane, Daryl and I will go out front while they're distracted and get Jeff and Otis. Glenn, Tyrese and Tdog will get the others to the RV. Go out through the back; we'll meet you guys there.
The group gathered what they needed quickly. The next thing they heard was the growling sound of the dead, with the people outside screaming in panic as the farm would soon be surrounded.
"That's our cue, people! Go! Go! Go!"
Rick, Shane and Daryl proceeded to burst through the front door with light speed and started firing at the occupied men without prejudice. Rick ran for his brother, killing all the men near him. Getting to where he wanted, he united Jeff and Otis and handed each of them a gun He noticed his brother bleeding from his head and Osit wasn't in good condition either.
"Took your ass long enough, Richard!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta go now! The others are waiting."
Rick held his brother, not wanting him to fall behind as more shots continued to ring-out. Rick got to Shane's car. He looked back to see the dead everywhere. Daryl and Shane were right with him but Otis was nowhere in sight. They didn't have time, however. Everything they were trying to build here was gone. They got in the car and signalled to the others that it was time to leave. He hoped that everyone else was okay.
…
The group stopped on the highway after making sure they were far enough from the farm. Gas was running low so they would need to stop regardless. They got out and Rick immediately began a check. Sasha fell asleep from the blood loss, and the painkillers Hershel gave her, while Michonne and Sophia stayed by her side. The only person missing was Otis, whom Rick, Shane Daryl, and Jeff already knew was gone.
She wanted to go back to look for her husband but Rick and Shane shot that down. Rick told her it was dangerous, while Shane shut her down completely with words.
"Patricia." He put his hands together in frustration. "I know this is hard for you, but we are not going back, to stroll around in search for your husband. I'm sorry. He is dead and no one is going back for a dead man. That's stupid, okay?"
"Shane. Don't be an asshole!" Maggie pushed him.
"Don't fucking touch me. All I did was tell the truth. What, you think by some miracle he's still kicking, badly injured and all?" He waited for an answer but never got one. "I see."
The only thing she could do was cry. Daryl and Glenn went ahead to find a place to camp for the night. The place they found wasn't the best, but the trees surrounding the area gave them enough protection so they camped there for two nights so that they could get gas and food before looking for somewhere more tenable. Rick and Shane had been the main lookouts for the past two nights, just like they were now with the help of Daryl and Tyrese. Michonne got out of her camping tent, noticing Rick a few feet away. She walked over and sat next to him.
"Chonne, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing; I'm okay. You and Shane should catch up on your rest. You were up for the past two days. Aren't you tired?" Rick didn't look her in the eyes as he took a breath.
"Shane wanted us to get rid of the kid." Rick pressed his face into her nape. "Was Hershel and I being stupid?"
"Rick… The herd destroyed everything. No one had any control over that."
"And what if there was no herd?"
"Rick, look at me." She held his face in her palms. "Shane has always had a pessimistic outlook. In times like this, maybe that's the mindset you should have, but Rick, you and Hershel are good people and good men. The fact that you can see all the bad things that could happen and still make that choice doesn't make you stupid; it makes you strong."
"What would you have done? I want an honest answer."
"The safest option would have been not to bring him in the first place; leave him be. I wouldn't have killed him; I don't think I have it in me, but to guarantee the safety of everyone I care for, I could leave him there to bleed out and die. I could, and I would. I truly believe that… If you'd asked me this a few months ago, I'd be so offended by that question. It scares me, you know?"
"What? Talk to me, darling."
"I'm going to change; I know I am. I hope I can hold on to that girl you've known for as long as possible. I hope that you can do the same. And when it does finally leave us, I hope that we're at peace. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You were listening to your heart; that's all I could ask for, Rick."
"Everyone blames me..."
"I don't know if that's true. It was Hershel's decision as much as yours; I can argue it being his more so. Andrea might; maybe Tdog or others; I don't know but I don't. I know that Sasha doesn't nor does Daryl. You didn't ask to lead them; they put you there. Rick, If anybody is to blame, it's me."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I'm not… That boy… I did recognise his face."
"Michonne—"
"I saw his face in Beth's yearbook photos. He must have put two and two together. Maybe he recognised someone but if I had connected the dots early, those people would have never found the farm. You did nothing wrong."
"Remember when I told you we kept him in the barn? We did but after you guys went inside, Hershel brought him into the house from the back. In his bedroom, he didn't want to close the wound in the barn. When he was done, we put him back. That's how he had the chance. I went back on my words to you. I'm sorry."
"You're still blaming yourself? You did a good thing, and so did Hershel! If I can't blame myself, then you have no right either! Sometimes I feel like knocking you out."
"Knocking me out? Why are you mad at me? So moody."
"Because you're so damn annoying and stubborn!"
"I'm the annoying and stubborn one?" He raised his brow at her words "Ain't you the one who stayed with your ex even though you hated him? All because everyone was telling you otherwise, hmm?"
"Why are you bringing up old stuff, like you weren't back and forth with Lori?"
"Is that... jealousy I detect?"
"Oh my God! Let's not go there now, Grimes! I remember you being the one who was always targeting Mike! You knocked me up the night I left him, so what now?"
"Well, I can't argue that." He smiled at her slyly. "Took you long enough, but let's not act like you were so innocent either. It takes two to tango, sweetheart. You hated Lori and how would I describe it? Polite, to all my girlfriends." He was piercing her with his eyes.
"What's wrong with that? Aren't I supposed to be polite?"
"You must think I'm dumb, huh? I know what 'polite' means."
"I don't know what you're talking about!"
"You don't know what I'm talking about?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." He bent his head, laughing in disbelief.
"You're adorable."
"Well, of course, I don't need you to tell me that, Grimes."
"When did you pick up that sword?"
"What?"
"Don't 'what' me; I saw it, missy, and don't lie. I always know when you lie."
"I still don't know what you're talking about, sir."
"Alright, little Miss Vain, go to sleep."
"You won't come with?"
"I will, soon. Will you wear something long? Just in case."
Michonne smiled in agreement as she looked back at him. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at him and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help smiling back. He watched until he saw her enter their tent.
If only we could go back to before all of this mess started... That would be the dream, huh?
…
The group had been on the road for a month. With a large group, it was hard keeping everybody fed as it was keeping them safe. And though others might not see it, Michonne could see Rick struggling. It couldn't have been easy being in his shoes, being responsible for all these people. She also knew that he was worried about her and where they would have the baby. They had been crashing in some house here and there, like they were doing now. Houses weren't safe, however, so they only stayed for a day at most before leaving. The house they were using now was run down, but served its purpose. Daryl went out to hunt, as they hadn't eaten in two days. Most of the houses had been raided in the area, and hunting became more difficult as the dead pushed on. Glenn and Tdog were their lookouts, and just as they thought Daryl had returned, it turned out to be a stranger, running from the dead. The two saved him, but were confused about whether they should let him go or show him to the others; they elected to show him to the others. Michonne looked through his bag. Shane wasn't having it; he wanted to kill the man since they didn't know him, or trust him. Dale thought otherwise.
"We can't just take an innocent life."
"Innocent? You forget what happened at the barn? Now ain't the time for some moral lessons. He can't be left alive; we don't know what kind of person he is.
"We'll be leaving soon enough! What does it matter? Are we really gonna sit here and debate a man's life?"
"Hershel knows what I mean, right. Think about it!"
"Don't bring Hershel into this! We're debating murder!
"We're keeping the goddamn group safe!" Fed up with Dale, Shane turned to Rick. "Rick man, think about it. Think about the group—about Michonne. For all we know, he's some sick fuck; tracking us or something. Are we really gonna take that risk?"
He didn't answer. He was clearly thinking about the situation tossed at his feet. His normally bright eyes had become dull and withdrawn, and his face burned with exhaustion. Michonne walked over to him, seeing his hands balled into fists. She forced her hand into his, and then she felt a tight squeeze. He looked at her, then at the others, and exhaled, relieving some of his tension.
"Let him go. We'll be gone soon enough anyway."
"You sure about this man?" Shane took a second to compose himself.
"Yeah…"
"Alright, then. I'll walk him away from here. I'd feel better about leading him elsewhere, far, by my hand. I got to."
"Okay."
…
Shane went about his task, and when he got back, the only thing he could feel was Michonne's probing gaze. He met her eyes without hesitation, then he went outside, knowing she would follow him.
"I know what you did."
"It ain't like I was tryna hide it from you."
"You killed someone, Shane. What you did—"
"What I did was for the best. You and I both know that."
"Don't play that game with me. I—"
"Game? Is that what you think of me? I'm tryna keep us safe! Keep you safe."
"You had no proof that he was dangerous."
"Proof? Really, Chonne… Why didn't you want that boy on the farm, huh?"
"Shane—"
"Regardless of your damn suspicions, you still knew it was stupid. Rick and Hershel bring that asshole in destroyed everything! Now we're on the road again, tryna make it."
"Rick and Herschel are good men. They were doing the right thing. The herd destroyed everything!"
"The right thing... You remember when we were tryna get out of the city? We saw all kinds of shit. It was so bad, we couldn't even think of Rick."
"I haven't forgotten."
"Really, I think you have. We don't talk about it, but I remember. It was just me and you that day and we ran into those racist fucks. I remember how they were gonna rape you, maybe kill you and I killed all of 'em because I knew there wasn't gonna be a next time. You did too."
"At what point do we try to trust someone?"
"Do we got to? Rick is a good man. He's my brother; I love him, but he's got to change—he has to. I was wrong in how I handled the situation at the barn; I'll give you that, but I don't regret getting rid of that guy. That man I killed had a walkie-talkie, a flare gun and keys. He was tryna to get on to somebody after I followed him. I made the right call; you know I did."
"I won't say anything to the other, but by doing this, you're undermining Rick and his decisions, Shane. I don't accept that."
"I never expected you to say anything in the first place, and I never expected you to like it, but I knew you'd understand. They go to Rick to feel good with their own hopeless delusions, like everything's just gonna work out… It's bullshit!"
"You don't know everything, Shane! After what happened, Rick wanted to kill that man—he did… Him letting that guy go, is not weakness."
"Know that sometimes you gotta make some questionable choices ain't weakness either."
"Is it that hard to see where I'm coming from?" Her voice was pleading.
"I see where. I just don't agree."
"What are you two arguing about now?"
"I don't know. Were we arguing, Michonne?"
"No… Don't worry, Rick; Shane was just bitching about life."
"Is that what I was doing?" His question, obviously rhetorical while he smiled.
Rick stared at them both. Shane and Michonne being in constant back and forth was nothing new. It was how they showed their care for one another and, in Rick's mind, served as free entertainment for their friend group, but now it was different. They were obviously keeping something between them and they had no intention of letting a third party in. He wanted to pry but he dropped it, not wanting to press Michonne. He walked closer to her, putting on a welcoming expression on his face and wrapped his arm around her waist as his nose touched her temple to whisper in her ear.
"You should be resting. I'll get you something to eat soon. Daryl found something."
"I'm okay. You're the one I'm worried about. You're stressed and on edge. Be careful."
"I will, I promise."
"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"
They heard the clocking of guns and footsteps as a group of men slowly stepped out from the trees, well-supplied with weapons. There were about 12 of them making their way forward, with unclear intentions, making Rick and Shane pull out their guns. What surprised them the most was the person leading them.
"Merle? What the—"
"Officer Friendly! You're alive! Well, I'll be damned."
"What is this?"
"My baby brother inside? I'm guessing so, since the three of you are here. Damn!. Queen Nubia, that belly…" Merle whistled, "Couldn't get enough of the chocolate, huh, Officer Friendly? I see you got the rottweiler too."
"What do you want Merle?"
Michonne was tired of the small talk and decided to cut to the chase and Rick held Shane's arm to prevent escalation.
"Well, now that I know that it's you, I want Daryl, but I lost a man. Last I heard, he was in this area."
"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we haven't seen anyone, man or woman. As for Daryl, that's his choice. And you cannot force him."
"Mhmm, look at you. I could see why Office Friendly chose to dabble in the dark."
"Careful Merle."
"Fuck you!" Michonne made all her visceral revulsion known.
"Not my type, sweetheart, but if you're into it! Y'all are gonna have to come with us, though. And that ain't a choice. Get the others boys, Don't be afraid to get a little rough if you have to; just don't kill nobody!"
"Where are you taking us? Our group isn't small!" Careful you don't burn yourself, Merle."
"Don't get your panties in a twist, Whoopie! We'll handle it."
…
…
…
Author's note
Some of you already know why I was gone but I'll give the rundown again. I've been gone a month! I was sick for about two weeks, so I took a break, only writing here and there but I gave a longer chapter as a piece offering and gift! (over 12,000 words—my longest one ever!) I should be back consistently now. This story will have longer chapters of around 5000-7000 words.
And I always love hearing your thoughts.