Disclaimer: Nope.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for the awesome reviews! I'm really glad you liked that chapter between Draco and Dumbledore.
Yes, it's going to take a long time for Draco's worldview to change. This is why the fics that have him suddenly redeeming himself don't make sense to me. He's grown up learning this horrific ideology, and he's spouted it out all through his Hogwarts years. He's making some very harsh discoveries right now which he's struggling to come to terms with. But now, with him knowing whose side Snape is really on and having Harry Potter constantly in his sights, this will be his biggest test yet.
I definitely agree with you about Petunia, but disagree about Augusta Longbottom. I do agree that she's a very forbidding woman, and I definitely agree that she should have put a stop to Neville's uncle dangling him out of a window. That is undoubtedly major child abuse. I think it's perfectly okay that we disagree about Augusta projecting her trauma onto Neville. I love being able to talk about these characters even if we disagree. There are so many ways to interpret these books - the characters are so rich. That's why the Harry Potter series appealed so much to me, and to millions of readers all over the world.
I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
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As Severus Snape sat in his living room, he wondered for the millionth time how it was that events had spiraled so much out of control.
He had looked upon the beginning of this year with dread - the dratted Triwizard Tournament was coming to Hogwarts, meaning that the school would be infested with even more brats. Because of the excitement that would invade Hogwarts' corridors, students would be even more likely to foul up their potions. And, worst of all, he'd have to deal with Igor Karkaroff. The man was no more than a coward, so there was nothing to fear from him - but Snape knew he would have to play his part perfectly. Karkaroff wanted absolutely nothing to do with the Dark Lord's return, but Snape would still have to be very careful.
But now, everything had changed. Snape no longer had to play such a part. He was free, liberated from the responsibilities of playing the perfect Death Eater. And he no longer had to watch his Slytherins making all the wrong choices without telling them point-blank that they were making a terrible mistake, just as he had done many years before.
But, he thought as he struggled with the sheer exhaustion that was consuming him, the weight of the responsibilities he now had seemed heavier than ever. He was now the one tasked with caring for two boys who were facing very different situations. He, Severus Snape, was responsible for the well-being of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.
Draco ... he wasn't adapting at all well to the situation, not that Snape blamed him. The pure callousness of that attack yesterday ... he had spent hours by the boy's bedside last night, making sure he was recovering from his numerous injuries. Even though all signs pointed to the fact that the boy would make a full recovery, he wanted to make sure things were going in the right direction. Finally, at about one in the morning, he left Draco's room to go to his own.
However, sleep had eluded him, which wasn't anything new. He'd always been a light sleeper, but ever since he'd seen Lily's dead body, it was as though his own body resisted it. Because when he literally couldn't take anymore and he did sleep, Lily was in his nightmares. When he wasn't seeing her dead all over again, he always saw the bad times with her, and never relived the good. She was either ending their friendship after he called her a Mudblood, or she was telling him that his dark magic obsession was evil and wrong, or, worse still, once Harry Potter arrived at Hogwarts, she was screaming at him for the way he treated her son, her green eyes ablaze with rage and hatred.
But the night before, sleep had even more reasons to stay away. Dumbledore. Bloody Dumbledore. Snape knew the old man would do this, and he was proven right in every possible sense. Snape was the one tasked to release Potter from his own mind and bring him back to the land of the living, and he was also the one who was supposed to help Draco completely change his worldview. Dumbledore had batted away every single one of Snape's weak objections, just like he knew would happen. He'd heaped all manner of praise on Severus, using manipulation as a fine art. He told Severus how proud he was of him, and how much courage it had taken for him to attempt to heal Potter.
At that, Severus had lost any semblance of calm he was trying to hold onto. He had honestly been seething with fury at the man ever since Thursday night - he was so angry, in fact, that he knew that if he had spoken to him right after exiting Potter's mind, he might have done something that he'd threatened to do as a young Death Eater. How he'd found the strength to stay calm last night after the attack on Draco was all to do with his prowess at Occlumency. He despised the fact that he knew he had to contact the man at all regarding Draco's situation.
There had been no curses thrown when Dumbledore had praised him, but that was only because Snape had resisted a very strong temptation to do so. But that didn't mean he hadn't hurled words at him that he didn't at all regret, snarling and spitting them out with pure venom coursing through his veins. "Are you aware, old man, of exactly what that child has suffered at the hands of that aunt and uncle of his?"
Dumbledore was rather taken aback - and that only made Snape angrier. "I knew the situation was not ideal," the old man had the unmitigated gall to say. "I knew that he might not have the best childhood. But I also knew that Lily and Petunia were sisters, and that there was once love between them. I had thought that Petunia would learn to grow past her resentment and treat Harry decently. After all, they are family."
Snape's nostrils flared, and his blood had boiled at that moment. "Family," he spat, the entire word coated with poison. "Family. You're a blind old fool."
He knew that Dumbledore was perfectly aware of Snape's own "family" situation growing up - a father who abused his mother to the point where she became nothing more than a skeleton, and despising his son so much that he would have drunk the bar dry in celebration at seeing him dead. They literally had no money because the brute spent it all on drink. His mother was too terrified to use even an ounce of her magic anymore. She wasted away until she finally died during the summer after Snape's sixth year at Hogwarts. And his father ...
Don't think about that, Snape told himself forcefully as he focused entirely on glowering so hard at Dumbledore that the whole room was suffused with emotion. Dumbledore, at least, had the grace to look guilty for what he had just said. "I am sincerely sorry if Harry's childhood was much more unpleasant than I realized," he said softly.
If Snape still knew how to laugh, he would have done so very bitterly. Unpleasant ... that was the understatement of the millennium.
"He will never go back there, old man."
Once the words escaped Snape's mouth, he couldn't take them back. He couldn't actually believe he'd said them. This was a child he'd hated the moment he'd set eyes on him. He'd taken every opportunity to insult him, belittle him, taunt him. That messy hair, those Godforsaken glasses, and worst of all, those eyes ... and there were so many things about Potter that reminded Snape of James that it had literally made him sick to his stomach every single damned time he'd come across them.
And yet ... something primal had risen to the surface after seeing those horrific memories lodged within Potter's mind. He couldn't quite explain the hot, bubbling anger that poured out of him like acid when he looked at the Headmaster, who professed to be so wise. So he thought "family" was everything? He was so, so incredibly blind.
Dumbledore hadn't missed a beat. "He needs the wards, Severus," he said quietly. "There is no doubt in my mind that Voldemort will return, and I know you do not doubt it, either. If the child is to be protected from him ..."
Snape bared his teeth in a vicious snarl. He said nothing, but if looks could kill, he could have finally achieved what he had wanted to do during his youth.
But the look didn't phase Dumbledore at all. Instead, his eyes softened, and he had the utter gall to smile at Severus in that moment. "I will say it again. I am incredibly proud of you, Severus," he reiterated. "You really do care about that child."
Severus didn't dignify that with a response, instead intensifying his glower another couple of notches. The absolutely infuriating Headmaster's smile only widened further.
"I do not doubt that you will continue to heal that child," the Headmaster said softly. "And you know that Draco needs your assistance, too. It is the best situation for all."
Damn the old fool for trying to dodge the subject. "Did you not understand me, Dumbledore?" Snape barked at him, completely uncaring that he was being extremely disrespectful towards his employer and the one person who had kept him out of Azkaban. "Potter. Is. Not. Going. Back. There."
"What solutions do you have for his protection, then, Severus?" Dumbledore asked mildly. "You know how important it is that he survives the oncoming war."
Severus could tell that the Headmaster had been taken aback by Snape's vehemence concerning Potter's welfare. "You, Albus, are being incredibly obtuse," he sneered in a tone he had never spoken to the old man with before. "Right now, your boy hero is lying in a bed, completely oblivious to the world around him. He will not be able to save this ridiculous, naive, blind wizarding world. Do you expect him to defeat the Dark Lord in his sleep?"
Dumbledore would not let that stand. His eyes hardened, and he was once again the dangerous man who had taunted Severus with the reminder of Lily's eyes only minutes after he'd seen them, vacant and lifeless, in order to manipulate him into protecting her son. "And whose fault is it that the child is in the state he's in?" he asked coldly, his face a storm.
This time, however, Severus was not going to allow the man to bait him. "You are right," he said, guilt coming back to bite him again. "I don't deny that I contributed to Potter's current state. I profess myself guilty of such." He met the Headmaster's eyes and didn't flinch, like he once had a long time ago. "But there are plenty of other ways your hero has suffered. And if you do not get him out of that ... that pit of hell you call a home ... and those ... loathsome people you call "family" ..." He left the rest of the sentence unfinished, leaving the old man to draw his own conclusions.
For once, Dumbledore was quiet, unprepared for Severus not to succumb to his usual methods of bringing Severus to heel. "Is it really that bad, Severus?" he asked finally.
"It is worse, Dumbledore." Severus's voice was a whisper. "It is worse."
They hadn't talked since then, except right after the Headmaster had spoken with Draco this morning, and they'd only discussed the blond Slytherin. Severus was glad for it. They had had that "discussion" about Potter last night while Draco lay in the next room, and immediately afterwards, Dumbledore had gone to retrieve a comatose Potter from the hospital wing, and he'd brought him to his own room in Snape's quarters. Several of the house-elves, using their own brand of magic, had prepared the additional rooms for the boys, and they were sworn to secrecy. Dobby was not one of them - though he adored and idolized Potter, it wasn't a good idea to have him in Draco's vicinity. He had gone against the Malfoys to help Potter while still in their employ, something almost unheard of for a house-elf. Snape wasn't taking his chances by having him be in charge of anything related to Draco, and this, at least, Dumbledore agreed with.
At ten o'clock this morning, a little while after he had left Snape's quarters after speaking with Draco, the Headmaster had met Potter's friends outside the hospital wing, and brought them here to be with him. Snape sighed, the sound' reaching into his very bones. His quarters now contained a child who was full of hurt, shame, anger, and confusion, a child who had no idea of anything since the catastrophe at the Ministry and was currently trapped inside his own mind, and three other Gryffindors, including Longbottom, of all people. Fantastic. Absolutely bloody fantastic. Could life get any bloody better?
Apparently, it could, he thought sarcastically as Draco finally came out into the living room. He was walking very slowly, obviously still sore and bruised from his terrible encounter the day before. It was lucky that it had been left up to Dumbledore to punish all those involved. Snape wouldn't have trusted himself to handle them with the proper decorum. And Jacob Delker's little stunt could have severely injured the entire class, including himself.
Draco did not look like he was in a good place physically, let alone emotionally. The scowl on his face let Snape know instantly that he was not there to say anything nice. His instinct was to sneer at the child to go back to his room until he got that look off of his face.
But he didn't, because who could blame Draco for the state he was in? Why wouldn't he be hurt, angry, ashamed, and confused? At the beginning of the year, he'd been immeshed in his belief system, not thinking any of it was wrong. He idolized and worshiped his father, who was harsh and unforgiving towards his son at the best of times. Snape had seen Draco shattered by his father's disappointment over the years - all he'd wanted to do was impress him, and he had only ever tried harder to emulate the arrogant, smirking aristocrat who got his own way by bribery and bullying. Draco despised Potter, and was being primed to be a Death Eater. When the time came for him to do so, he had hoped to make his father proud.
And now, here he was, a young boy who had been hit with multiple harsh truths in a very short period of time. He'd realized that someone who he thought would always protect him had hurt him mercilessly. He'd been asked to play an enormous part in a scheme that would lead Potter directly to his death. He'd never been quite the same after his and Potter's first couple of library encounters.
He'd then seen the effects of true, pure, absolute malice as Potter writhed on the floor, his entire body wracked with poison. He'd been forced to do Zabini's bidding as he was held under the Imperius Curse, and he was only minutes away from being murdered when Snape had caught Zabini. Then, there was the botched trial at the Ministry, where he and Potter were supposed to testify, but Dementors had attacked the atrium.
And now, just yesterday, he had been brutally attacked by five boys who wanted nothing more than to humiliate him, landing him back where he was when his world started to change - he had once again been a scared, white ferret. Snape would never forget when he'd first seen sheer confusion in the boy's eyes - when someone he had considered his enemy didn't laugh at his humiliation by Crouch. And since Potter had fallen into a coma, not once had Snape seen Draco laugh or smirk at the other boy's plight. Things had definitely changed.
Severus breathed deeply, knowing he had to weather the emotional storm with Draco. He had been tasked to help him, but he realized at that moment that he wasn't doing a single second of it for Dumbledore. The old fool currently didn't bear thinking about. He was doing it for Draco. Draco Malfoy, a boy he had cared for since Lucius had placed him in his arms. Draco, who he could now truly guide. Draco, who he now wouldn't have to watch helplessly as he obeyed everything Lucius said. Draco, who he wouldn't have to see bowing and scraping before a megalomaniac who didn't give a damn about his supporters, but expected slavish loyalty and devotion towards him.
"I'm hungry," Draco said without preamble. "The Headmaster said that you'd have breakfast here."
The boy's tone was rather insolent and rude, but Snape vowed not to lose his temper. Draco needed him to be calm and controlled. The boy's face showed that there were countless emotions roiling inside him, although he tried to hide them by wearing his normal, arrogant mask.
"Come and sit down at the kitchen table, Draco," Snape said quietly as he got up from his sofa and walked towards the kitchen. Obviously taken aback by the calm response, Draco followed him.
"One of the house-elves, Eva, has agreed to help with meals, and anything else you might need during your stay here," Snape informed him. "You can tell her to fix you up whatever you'd like. But before you do that - how is the pain?" he asked, genuinely concerned.
"Fine," Draco snapped, his guard up.
"Did the Headmaster give you a potion?" Snape insisted, trying to lower Draco's defenses at least marginally.
Draco glared at Snape. "Yes," he spat. "Nosy old bugger. Wouldn't leave well enough alone. I bet he's fawning over Potter now."
Ah, thought Snape. Snape knew that Draco was aware of Potter being here, too. And if he knew Dumbledore at all, he would have delivered it as a parting blow. Sometimes, Snape thought bitterly, the old man only knew how to make everything worse. He always hit people when they were at their most vulnerable - he, Snape, had been no exception.
"The Headmaster is not with Potter right now," Severus said in a mild tone. "He has other things to do this morning." He decided not to tell Draco that Potter's friends were here right now. Not only because this was the last thing he needed to know, but he was also afraid that in the state he was in, he might find comfort in reverting to an earlier time. He could very easily seek out Potter's room and taunt his friends. Snape had often seen that as a pattern with Draco - growing up, whenever he felt hurt and vulnerable, he lashed out. It was a defense mechanism Snape was all too familiar with, because he was very aware that he used it himself. That, after all, was what had severed him and Lily's friendship forever. He'd wanted to make her hurt just as he was, and he'd succeeded, more than he had ever thought possible.
Draco sneered. "I see." He then clicked his fingers and called out, "Eva!"
A house-elf instantly popped into the room. "Master Malfoy?" she squeaked at seeing him sitting at the table. "Master Snape? Would Master Malfoy and Master Snape be wanting breakfast, sirs?"
"Not for me, Eva," Snape said. "No, thank you."
"I want scrambled eggs, crispy potatoes, toast, and pumpkin juice," Draco demanded. "Hurry up."
This was Draco acting like a Malfoy to the maximum, Snape thought wearily as Eva nodded and popped away. House-elves never reacted when humans were mean to them. Draco was treating Eva just as Severus had always seen Lucius treat the Malfoys' house-elves. It was something Draco had grown up seeing, and had learned to emulate.
Snape knew he had to break Draco out of that behavior. He'd go about it gently for now, as he knew how the boy must be feeling. He was perfectly aware that it might take Draco a while to listen, especially because it was coming from him.
He, after all, had confessed to Draco that he was a traitor to the Dark Lord's cause. Things would undoubtedly be very difficult between them for that reason, too - Draco might be wrestling with the truths he had learned this year, but that didn't mean he would suddenly just forget the ideology he had grown up learning. And all this time, he had thought Snape believed it, too. He'd trusted Snape to assist him when he would one day take his place in the Dark Lord's army. Now, he had found out that his Potions teacher, Head of House, and his father's old friend had been lying to him for years.
Eva popped back in with the meal, and put it on the table in front of Draco. The boy didn't say anything as he picked up his knife and fork and started eating.
"Thank you, Eva," said Snape, looking pointedly at Draco as he spoke the words.
Eva looked rather overwhelmed. "You're most welcome, Master Severus," she squeaked. "Please let Eva know when to retrieve the dishes," she added before popping away.
Snape knew that house-elves were not normally thanked by their masters, so that was why she had looked overwhelmed. Draco stared at his teacher, disgusted. "You're not supposed to thank house-elves," he sneered. "They're supposed to do as they're told, whatever you ask them to do."
"I disagree," Severus said mildly, looking over at Draco. Even now, he ate with impeccable manners, like he was back at Malfoy Manor and his father, always an imposing, forbidding presence, was constantly watching him. "Everyone likes to be thanked."
Draco scoffed. "What would you know?" he jibed. "Did Dumbledore teach you that, after you betrayed the Dark Lord and started spying on him?"
Patience, Snape told himself. Have patience. Draco's voice was icy with fury, but Snape could see the hurt in those smoldering gray eyes. "No, the Headmaster did not teach me that," he replied, keeping his voice calm. In fact, it had been Lily who had said that to him - they'd had a rather heated discussion concerning the plight of house-elves in the wizarding world. Not that he would be telling Draco that anytime soon, of course.
Draco shook his head, his facial expression conveying that he didn't believe a single word. "What are you doing to heal Potter?" he asked before eating a mouthful of crispy potatoes.
"I am not at liberty to explain how I am healing Potter. Just like I will not tell anyone about how I'm helping you," Snape said quietly.
"Helping me?" Draco suddenly sounded desperate. "Helping me? How are you going to do that? Dumbledore expects me to just be here, stuck as a prisoner in this place with you and Potter for Merlin knows how long. What are you going to do? Are you going to lecture me about how I should hate my father and about how horrible he is, when you were supposed to be his friend? You're not even going to let me see him again, are you? Are you going to make me worship Potter like you apparently do, after I thought you'd hated him all this time?"
Snape could feel his patience slipping, but with an effort of Herculean proportions, he tamped his anger down. "No, Draco. First and foremost, you are not a prisoner. This is not a punishment," he said softly, reminding himself that this boy was fragile and currently not in a good place. "This is a chance for you to come to terms with what has happened to you.
"My feelings about Potter are ... complicated. To suggest that I worship him is entirely incorrect. Again, I will not discuss him with you, as I will not discuss you with him when he wakes up."
He looked Draco directly in the eye. "And no, I will not lecture you about how Lucius Malfoy's beliefs are wrong. I think, Draco, that you are starting to come to those conclusions on your own." He held Draco's gaze, seeing a look in those gray eyes that confirmed his suspicions. "And no," he whispered. "I will not forbid you from seeing him. If you would like to see your father, then I will not stop you."
Snape knew that many would think this an incredibly bad idea. They might think that Draco seeing his father again would take away any progress he had made. Any contact with Lucius would turn him exactly into who he had been at the beginning of the year.
But there was some kind of instinct in Snape that told him that the opposite would happen. If Draco saw Lucius again, it would only show him how far apart they were. Snape knew Dumbledore had a motive for insisting that he, Potter, and Draco be in this living situation together. Even though Severus was currently enraged with the Headmaster, there was a part of him that ... admired this plan. If anything could help Draco walk down this new path, it was spending time with Harry Potter, a boy who was the Dark Lord's worst enemy, and himself, who he would have to build trust in again.
Draco looked stunned, his gray eyes wide. "You ... you won't forbid me from seeing my father?" he asked quietly, all his anger vanishing in an instant. "Really?"
"You are not my prisoner, Draco," Snape repeated, and what was left of his heart filled with ... was it really compassion? He thought he'd left that behind a long, long time ago.
For the rest of the meal, Draco didn't say anything. The look of sheer confusion on his face tugged at Snape's heartstrings.
It was in that moment that he vowed, with everything he had, that this would work. It had to. Potter ... Potter was another story, a long, complicated tale that Snape still despised to think about.
But Draco ... he had to get through to Draco. He once again had a vivid flashback of holding the tiny boy in his arms, and feeling a surge of protectiveness fill him up, something he knew his father had never felt for him.
He wasn't the boy's father ... but he would protect him from the man who was. No matter what it took, Draco would not make Severus's mistakes. Not ever.