After the second film came out, I started a bit of a follow up, because I wanted to lead Anna and John back towards their originally intended future.
Normally I am a stickler for the TV show canon, but there are few headcanons that I feel strongly about that I will not budge on. One is fairly obvious: I have named their son "Jonathan" here versus. being directly named for his father, and that's why I spell his nickname the way I do. Other things I'm sure you might notice as you read along (and those of you who know me well can guess them lol), but as this is a fanfic, I can make my own adjustments as I see fit. This really is a piece of self indulgence, and originally I had intended for it to be longer, but it's been sitting in my docs for a while and it was past time to set it free into the wild.
Spring 1929
Her beaming smile upon seeing the Bransons' baby sealed the deal for him. As the servants filed back downstairs, John thought about what he had told Anna at the Carsons' wedding a few years back; there was something about her now.
He watched her interactions with their son at tea time, how she giggled and played with him, bouncing their three year old on her lap. John's thoughts ran away with him, but he was growing more and more confident that she had an extra glow about her.
Anna was always lucky that she didn't face the early ailments that accompanied this condition for many women, which is why she was able to hide things from him, whether the outcome was good or bad. John tried to recount the past few weeks in his mind to see if she was at least extra tired, but rather she seemed just... happy. But these days were much lighter for them, the storm clouds having dissipated.
They went to collect Jonathan from upstairs after their dinner. Lady Mary had dismissed Anna at lightning speed, and his lordship went to bed fairly early, which was growing more and more common on both counts.
John scooped up their son from his little cot gently, trying not to wake him. He always felt bad about this, that he was disrupting him, and if they had just settled on what to do about the hotel, then Jonnie would already be snug as a bug in his own bed. He much rather preferred their days off, where they had the routine of a bedtime story.
Anna collected Jonnie's little jacket, placing it over his shoulders, as he snuggled into his fathers' arms. No need to attempt to actually get him in it and wake him further. John was just happy that he could still carry him and use his stick, as his son was rapidly growing and now much more of a child than a baby.
As they went to quietly leave, he noticed Anna steal a glance towards the crib that the littlest Branson was sleeping soundly in. He tried to keep his own expression neutral, but could not help the small smile that formed across his face.
They walked home carefully in the dark down the path to the cottage, John ruminating on how to bring up the subject. They tucked Jonnie properly into bed, both placing a kiss on their wee one's forehead, before turning in for the night themselves.
The two climbed into their own bed, and John decided to play coy after he turned off the lamp. "Are you… planning a trip to London soon?"
Anna's eyes widened, barely visible in the darkness, but then answered, "Oh I don't know, Lady Mary seems to never tell me anything anymore." She sighed lightly, her voice tired with sleep. "Not like the old days."
John was surprised to hear this considering her recent demeanor. And Lady Mary seemed happy enough to see Mr Branson and his family. "Hmm, I am sorry to hear that."
As Anna snuggled close to him, he chose to let the topic go for the evening, but tomorrow, he vowed to himself that he'd ask.
Before work the next morning, Anna nervously consulted her calendar. She was feeling pretty certain, but she wanted to be certain before she told John, and before she had to ring up Dr Ryder. She was going to actually try to tell John before he guessed this time (although considering his comment last night, he probably already has the wheels turning in his head), and she didn't want to be leaving in a rush of flurry - and pain. But she also didn't want to involve Lady Mary this time, knowing that John wouldn't want her ladyship paying for her doctor visits.
The dates matched with how she was feeling physically. A warmth flooded her, and she resolved that she was going to tell her husband properly; the way that she had used to imagine it, back when he was first back and they got the cottage, and she had hoped things would progress quickly. Alas they did not, but Jonathan was the proof that they did happen for her, so she just had to believe they could – no, would – again. Bad harvest.
Her mind started racing, fighting itself not to be too excited until she'd seen Dr Ryder and had the stitch put in. But also, as much as she was happy that this dream was coming true, she knew that their lives were going to have to change in other ways. They kept putting off the search for the hotel, having looked at about a dozen that they just had not liked for one reason or another: too far from Downton, too run down, too expensive (in her opinion; John was ready to splurge if they found the perfect one). They hadn't actively looked since March of last year, and suddenly the reality was sinking in. They needed it now.
She knew it was time – past time, really – to finally make this change, however, she had to admit that part of her was scared to leave the place that she had worked at almost her whole life. But she also was growing more resentful that they stayed so long, and it would creep into her mind at night, while John was sleeping peacefully beside her. That she had left too much to Nanny, and that she was actually a bad mother. Anna banished these thoughts during the daytime, and tried her damndest to spend as much time as she could with Jonnie while at work, but she sometimes could not shake the feeling that she messed up and they should have left as soon as he was born. They hadn't wanted to rush things, but then she felt like she let them become too complacent and too lazy with the search. And it was often John who'd be the one still on the lookout, mentioning to her places he read in the newspaper. Perhaps she was holding them back.
Anna also knew though, that she hadn't always felt safe at Downton Abbey. Not after what happened. She still never liked to actually say what that was, out loud or even to herself. While she no longer thought about that horrible night daily, nor even weekly, anymore, sometimes she'd be caught unaware by the traumatic memories. But there was still something about the familiarity and routine of the Abbey that made it hard for her to leave. Besides, it was where her and John met, and where their darling boy was born.
Even though Lady Mary did not need her help as much as she used to, they still had a sense of camaraderie. So while she'd so often imagined a life where she wasn't a servant, it was strange to think about not seeing every day the woman she served almost for years.
And the household's numbers were dwindling both up and down. Miss Baxter had become Mrs Molesley, and soon after handed in her notice. Mr Molesley had already written another screenplay for Mr Barber, and they could live quite comfortably. His love for history was fueling both his teacher and film careers, and the two of them seemed to be finally where they wanted to be in life. He didn't have to still teach at the village school, but he enjoyed it.
At least with less people downstairs, Anna could sneak Jonnie down to the servants' hall more often. Mr Barrow loved children, but she always felt awkward like she had to ask his permission. It did feel empty now that he had left again, this time permanently. He sometimes had been downright cruel to her and John over the years, but she also knew that he was a tortured soul, and hoped that this next chapter in his life was kinder to him. He had sent Daisy and Andy a postcard from California, telling them to let everyone know that he made it there all right, and seemed to be doing well.
She was glad that things were more lax with Andy now as butler, who was really more of an interim butler, as he did still have his sights on working on the farm full time at some point. He didn't even require the servants to call him "Mr Parker", although John thought that was because most of the remaining staff were much older than him. And Mrs Hughes and Mrs Patmore could more freely dote on Jonnie now as well. John did wonder if Andy was thinking that Daisy could get some practice in.
Can we keep this up with two of them? No, the real question was if Anna wanted to. If they wanted to. The hotel idea was so perfect, the one she held onto for so long, but then so much pain and grief came.
And what she really wanted to do, was to do right by her family.
With a glance to the clock, she knew it was time to get Jonathan ready and head down to the Abbey for their breakfast. Helping him into his short trousers, she mused that she'd so much rather dress him than Lady Mary. It was one thing when the girls over the years were getting gussied up for a ball or something; in a way, they were like the dolls she never really got to play with a child. Anna herself never had had a material need to own the dresses or jewels that the Crawleys have, but she did have fun dressing up for the film last summer, she had to admit. But her true maternal instincts came from caring for her son.
"I want to play with Teo, but Miss Sybbie is here," Jonnie was telling her.
"Well, you can play with both Teo and Miss Sybbie," Anna said, parting his hair with a comb and smoothing it with a little water.
"No, Teo doesn't want to play with me now." He pouted.
"You mean that Teo wants to play with Miss Sybbie more?"
"Yes. They all do."
Anna paused her combing. Then her hands dropped from his hair to his shoulders. She realized that the cousins probably all stuck together when they were at the house, and Jonnie got left out. Master George was getting too old to want to play with a three year old, and Miss Caroline was the only one that was actually close in age to her son. While she never felt like they were demeaning or discriminating against him being the servants' child… he did not fit in. And he was realizing it.
"I am so sorry, sweet pea. Would it help if you spent more time with me and Daddy today then?"
Jonnie nodded solemnly. Anna gave his shoulders a squeeze and then pulled him in for a quick hug before they joined John in the sitting room to head off to the Abbey. Her heart ached for him, and but she held onto the idea that he'd be getting a sibling soon.
The afternoon tea had been laid in the servants' hall, Daisy, and Mrs Patmore flitting about, even for the small group of them.
"I'll go fetch Jonnie then," Anna said, heading to the stairs. But as she exited the servants' hall, she found Nanny already helping him down the staircase.
He broke free and gleefully shouted "Mummy!" running down the last few steps, and crashing into Anna's legs. She bent down slightly to hold him against her.
"Oh, thank goodness, Mrs Bates! The others are heading outside and…" the nanny trailed off.
Anna nodded. "I was just coming up to get him myself."
Nanny gave a nod of her own and went back up the stairs.
Now that he was older and taking less naps, it was becoming more and more apparent that her son was being excluded based on his class, and not just his age. The divide between her and Lady Mary was crossed many times over the years, but Anna wondered if they had outstayed their welcome. Maybe Lady Mary never thought that they'd be staying this long and Anna worried that she felt like her gift of a place in the nursery was being abused. It was a weird feeling that she could not quite shake.
She took Jonnie's hand as he all but skipped into the servants' hall and over to his father, who scooped him up onto his good leg.
Daisy grinned as she entered, carrying a glass of milk and a plate of biscuits that she placed in front of them. "Hello there, young sir." She then went to sit next to Andy on the other side of the table.
"Thank you, Mrs Parka!" Jonnie replied in his wee voice, before digging into his treats.
Anna sat in the chair next to them, snagging a biscuit. She couldn't help herself, and her sweet tooth grew worse when she was... well, what she suspected she was. Well, she knew it, but didn't want to even think the word quite yet. Not until tonight.
Although then her mind wandered as she thought about them enjoying their tea in a sitting room in their own house, connected to an inn, and then playing games with Jonnie and the little one. The vision was becoming more and more clearer.
"Today is such a nice day, it's a bit unfair to keep you cooped up inside," John was saying to his son, ruffling his hair a bit, and then leaning to steal his own biscuit.
"We can go play in the courtyard after, how about that?" Anna suggested, referring more to the crop of trees at the edge that Jonnie liked to explore.
He squealed in delight, and Anna smoothed the hair that John had just mussed.
"Also, maybe tomorrow we can have a picnic. It is our half day after all." She beamed at her family.
"Sounds wonderful", said John, returning her smile.
After putting Jonathan to bed that evening, Anna and John settled down onto their sofa, tea cups in hand.
He took a drink from his, and then set it down on the coffee table. "You seem preoccupied, darling, is everything all right?"
"Oh, I'm fine, I just… Well, Lady Mary has been in a bit of a mood, between the loss of her grandmother and the distance between her and Mr Talbot."
"I've had periods like that with his lordship myself. One day they act like they are your best friend, and then the next, they just want you to silently serve them."
She sipped from her well sugared tea, and then leaned to set her cup beside his. Sitting back up, she gulped a little nervously, but smiled. "I have something I wanted to tell you, actually. Not about that, about something else."
She turned on the sofa to face him more, her eyes glistening in the glow of the lamps. He sat up a little straighter, and she reached for his hand. "You asked if I might be going to London soon, and well, I might need to."
He brightened at this, grinning. She took the hand she was holding and laid it against her abdomen, and then placed her own hand on top of his. "I probably should go see Dr Clarkson, to confirm how far gone I am and book the appointment with Dr Ryder but… John, I am pretty sure I'm pregnant."
"Oh God!" He burst with pride. Both misty eyed, he cupped her face with his other hand, one thumb caressing her cheek, and her currently flat belly with the other. They then both leaned forward, catching each other's lips in a sweet kiss, followed by resting their foreheads together briefly.
"How far along do you think?" he murmured, his voice now barely above a whisper.
"About six weeks. I feel exactly like I did with Jonnie, and I've checked the dates and it all adds up. But if it's the same as it was with him, I'm going to need the stitch a few weeks sooner than they normally recommend." She paused for a second. "Tomorrow's our half day, and we promised him a picnic… I'll go see Dr Clarkson after luncheon…"
"And then the picnic tea can be a celebration," John followed.
"Yes, but we cannot tell Jonnie yet, not until after the procedure. I do realize this is basically what I did last time to you, but it will be harder to explain to a child if…" Her smile faltered a bit.
"No, no, bad harvest." He smoothed her hair and then placed a kiss at her temple.
"Bad harvest, bad harvest," she repeated, and let out a breath. "I don't want to think like that, but it still seeps in."
"It's understandable, darling, I know." He moved his hand and rubbed her back.
"I am going to let myself be excited earlier on this time, I've told myself already. I know it works, we know it works, and Jonathan is perfect." She beamed, even through her worries.
John squeezed her shoulder. "Well, I will be here for you no matter what mood you are in."
"Good, because it might be swinging in every which way."
They kissed gently again, before heading to bed.
"Well Mrs Bates, your suspicions are confirmed. And I'd wager you have your dates right too, at six weeks." Dr Clarkson smiled as he motioned for her to sit up from the examination table, and she smoothed down her skirt.
"Everything seems to be in order so far, but I'll run a few tests as well," he said, scribbling something down on his notepad.
"And what about Dr Ryder?"
He pointed to the pad with his pen. "I'm going to have the nurse telephone him for you and get the appointment booked." He then flicked through her file again. "I do think you are right, it would be better if you have the cerclage put in before you're 12 weeks gone."
Anna had wondered if Dr Clarkson had begrudged her in any way that she had seen a specialist primarily in her pregnancy with Jonathan. She only had regular check ups with the local doctor closer to her due date, and she still had had Dr Ryder be the one to remove the stitch in the weeks prior. But Dr Clarkson had been the one presiding over the delivery, and who had looked after Jonnie as a newborn.
"I will say though, there are doctors who are much closer, in York, who perform the same procedure and are less expensive."
"I'd much rather it be someone I know. And that I know he knows what he is doing." She didn't want to admit that she was also still rather uncomfortable being examined, given what had happened to her. Plus, she knew that John preferred she see Dr Ryder as well.
Dr Clarkson nodded, and ripped the paper from the pad. "Give this to Nurse Fields up front, and she'll get you all sorted out."
Anna stood, replacing her hat, and grabbed her hand bag.
"Congratulations to you and Mr Bates," he said, handing her the note.
She felt a warmth fill her body, the excitement overcoming the anxiety. "Thank you so much, Dr Clarkson."
John and their little boy waited outside on a bench in the village green, having finished up their errands. He had wanted to escort Anna to see Dr Clarkson, but could only do so this far with their son in tow, and thus had taken him to a few shops as a distraction. Jonnie bounced up and down, asking if he could pet every one of the doggies that passed by. Thankfully, the dogs' owners obliged. Anna and John had once discussed that they might get a pet once they were in the hotel, and given how much Jonnie loved Teo, it was natural that they would probably get a dog. But it was something that they hadn't talked about in awhile, but the thought crossed John's mind now.
"Look, there's Mummy," John said, standing up as he saw Anna crossing the road from the hospital.
She was beaming as she reached them, and Jonnie grabbed a hold of her hand. Her expression gave away how the appointment went, and John linked his arm with hers, a grin filling his face.
The three returned to the cottage to get ready for the picnic. Anna packed the basket as John picked up the folded up blanket they had placed already in the sitting room. He looked over at Jonnie, who was scooting around the house with a toy, and then glanced back over to Anna. She motioned for him to come closer, and less in their son's ear shot.
"So everything is well?" he muttered, his hand briefly touching her belly.
She nodded. "And he got the appointment booked." She stepped a little further into the kitchenette. "I don't want to scare Jonnie too much that Mummy has to go see the doctor. He's old enough to fear them."
John cracked a small smile. "I'd like to go with you this time."
"I don't want to leave him with Nanny though, especially not overnight. It's best if I rest for two days."
"You? Rest?" he joked, with a sparkle in his eye.
She playfully swatted his arm. "I did dutifully stay in bed that time." Letting out a small sigh she continued. "But, I have to admit, I'd love to have you there. Lady Mary did abandon me in the evening, so you could take Jonnie out for part of the day while I'm lying around reading or napping or whatever, and then if he's knackered then he won't notice so much that I'm not up and about. The appointment is scheduled for in the morning so… too bad we don't have your mother's house anymore, we could just have had Dr Ryder come there. I realize you're going to have to get me to a hotel room afterwards."
"We could have him come to a hotel room, can't we?"
"We can, but it will cost us more."
"Anna darling, don't worry about that. We have the savings, in fact from selling my mother's house, and your health is more important. Let's book a room and set it up to have the appointment there then." He smoothed his hand up and down her arm.
"We should be using that money to buy a hotel, not book a hotel room but… you're right. Tomorrow when we're at work we'll get it all squared away."
Jonathan ran into the room, clutching his toy. "I'm hungry! Time for picnic!" he yelled. His parents giggled.
"Well, you heard him," said John with a wink.
The family walked to the wooded glen not far from the cottage. The weather was pleasant, so they had shedded their outer wear back inside, although Anna made sure that Jonathan still had his cap on.
They spread out the blanket and got comfortable, basking in nature and sunlight. They indulged in sandwiches and tarts that Mrs Patmore and Daisy had given them that morning, and Jonnie chased butterflies (and thought that some worms he found were caterpillars; John didn't have the heart to correct him, and played along).
Anna was content, but then in the ease, darker thoughts began to cross her mind. She sighed, and then chose to speak up rather than let them gnaw at her. "See, these are the moments I cherish. Us together, carefree. And I revisit them in my head all day. Because I'm worried about the other children leaving out Jonnie, am I doing right by him? And Lady Mary, she's becoming distant. And I think, all signs are pointing that it's time. It's time to buy the hotel. But I worry about that too. We've struggled trying to find one earlier, what's to say it the market is any better now. I worry we won't be able to before–" she glanced at Jonnie, who was gleefully pulling his wooden cars along the edge of the blanket, in his own little world, and then glanced back at John, "and we should, before, you know. And I worry about that, I worry about… the trip to London."
John reached over and took her hand. "You know you are allowed to be anxious right? Just because these past few years haven't been as…"
"Traumatic?" she offered.
"Exactly that. It's good to acknowledge that. And you know, I am so proud of you, for coming through it all. And remaining kind, and wonderful through it all."
She blushed slightly and averted her eyes for a moment.
"And you are a marvelous mother, by the way."
"Well, you're a fantastic father." She leaned over to pick a piece of grass that had ended up on his leg.
"If you say so."
"I know so. It goes both ways, John."
"Really though darling, I will pay all the pennies for all your thoughts, good or bad."
He'd noted how she was extra attentive with Jonathan these last few days. At first he had thought that maybe she was trying to make sure that their first child knew that he'd always be loved regardless if he had siblings, but John then decided it was a distraction, in fact from the idea of siblings, because he knew that Anna would love any children they had equally and with all of her heart.
It weighed on her mind that she felt she had been letting nanny do too much, and he had this guilt himself. But soon they'd be their own employers, taking charge of their own lives and time, and their children could be with them as much as they so choose.
Have the children with us, children all around, John had always had to talk about it hypothetically, until Jonathan. And even after he was born, they never fully voiced about it one way or the other about if they'd have more, and left the idea floating out there. To them, being able just to have their son was a blessing, and he was their miracle. But they knew the procedure worked, and if anything, now that a few years had passed, it hinged more on Anna's age than it did her reproductive ailment. So if it happened, it happened.
And it was happening. Another miracle, created by their love for each other.
She squeezed his hand. "I've been meaning to ask… you guessed, did you?"
"I did. There was something about you," he said cheekily with a grin.