Rain splattered the brown muddy dirt while a bolt of lightning struck the dark and gloomy sky. Thunder struck the depressing visage and the entire time, a Pokémon trainer named David sat inside of a stony cave, shivering at the cold. He was soaked to the bone and his clothes stuck to his body, making his teeth chatter in response.

As David felt that he was going to die of hypothermia, an idea sprung into his mind. He pulled out one of his Pokeballs and clicked the button on the middle, releasing his Gardevoir to stand next to him.

He put a loving arm around his Gardevoir, pulling her close and whispered; "Gardevoir, you know I'm your trainer, right? Your master?"

"Gard," she nodded in agreement. He nodded in return.

"And would you do anything for me?"

"Garde," she nodded again.

He moved another hand to her, sliding it over her wasp waist and looked carefully into her eyes. She seemed to begin to understand, a look of fear welled in her eyes. David could feel a lump in his pants swell as he began to force her upon the soaked ground. The sky rumbled with thunder all around them, the tree above them creaked threateningly.

As David began to mount his Gardevoir, Chef Boyardee jumped out of the bushes and slapped David in the face.

"Hey lad, rape isn't cool, but you know what is cool?" asked Chef Boyardee

"What?"

The chef then held up a can of spaghetti and said "Italian cuisine."

He then handed the can of spaghetti over to the Pokemon trainer and his Gardevoir, which they graciously took.

Chef Boyardee smiled as David and Gardevoir both took bites of the Italian dish, seeing their faces light up with whimsy.

"THIS IS DELICIOUS!" said David

"This is so good, that other people can finally understand what I'm saying" said Gardevoir.

David then said "thank you Chef Boyardee, you've shown me that rape is wrong, and the only thing that matters in life is spaghetti."

"It's ok, we all make mistakes. Now it's time to tell you the reason for why I'm really here." said Chef Boyardee.

"What are you here for, chef?" asked Gardevoir.

"I'm looking for soldiers to help me fight in the great Beefaroni war. It's a war that threatens all the people in the multiverse. Will you help me?"

David and Gardevoir both flashed the chef a thumbs up before David said "after today, I'd do anything for you."

Chef Boyardee then said "great, now let's get you suited up for combat."

…

5 years passed as David and Gardevoir underwent rigorous training in order to defend the multiverse from the Beefaroni obliterator. In that timeframe, David had become a peak human martial artist, and Gardevoir had gone from being a grass Pokémon to a legendary Pokémon. Today was finally the day for the two warriors to stand up and fight.

As both David and Gardevoir rested inside of their bacta tanks, Chef Boyardee approached them and said "it is time, you are both ready to do battle."

The two warriors immediately exited from their bacta tanks and bowed before their supreme lord and master. The chef immediately pulled out a can of spaghetti and a can of Beefaroni, before pressing a button underneath both cans and causing them to turn into skyscraper sized mechas.

Both David and Gardevoir then entered into their giant robots and flew into space to do battle with the Beefaroni obliterator".

As the two mechas flew through the cold darkness of space, they finally came across the Beefaroni Obliterator himself in all his heinous glory, Svengoolie!

"So, it's you who wants to wipe out the multiverse's supply of Chef Boyardee!" yelled Gardevoir

Svengoolie just nodded his head and said "correct, Chef Boyardee's food is the only element that has any hope of defeating me, so I aim to wipe it from existence, before going after the rest of the human race."

David then said "well we can't let that happen, the power of Chef Boyardee flows through our veins and tells us to defeat you!"

"If that's truly the way you feel, then come at me if you dare!" said Svengoolie before summoning an army of Pirakha and commanding them to attack our heroes.

David and Gardevoir then high fived each other before rushing forward and attacking the Pirahka head on. Gardevoir used her spaghetti mecha to blast red marinara sauce at the Pirahka. Since the sauce was made of star systems from beyond this galaxy, it caused the Pirahka to explode with the force of a miniature supernova.

David nodded his head in approval at what his Pokémon had done, right before using his Beefaroni mecha to fire chunks of meaty goodness into the crowds of Pirahka attacking him. These bits of meat were all made out of lightsabers and cut through the flesh of these LEGO villains like melted butter.

David and Gardevoir struck cool poses in their mechas as their enemies exploded into itty bitty pieces, angering Svengoolie severely and causing the horror movie host to fly forward and attack the two of them head-on.

Svengoolie punched David across the asteroid belt before Gardevoir fired a dry spaghetti noodle, stabbing Svengoolie's right arm.

Blood sprayed from Svengoolie's arm, before the horror host decided that plain fisticuffs weren't working, so he instead chose to make one million DVD copies of The Giant Gila Monster appear, before flinging them towards the spaghetti wielding warrior herself, slicing into her mecha and causing various fragments of machinery to be scattered across the cold void of space.

Svengoolie laughed a hardy laugh at his now wounded opponent, before turning deadly serious again as David rushed him and attempted to punch him with lightning fast moves empowered by Beefaroni. Svengoolie moved his head side to side with every single punch, causing David to slowly begin depleting his stamina and grow weaker as a result. After a while, David grew tired of this, before stopping to take a breath.

Big mistake

Svengoolie took advantage of this moment and immediately karate chopped David's left arm off, wounding the disciple of Chef Boyardee severely.

"Pathetic fool, did you really think that your devotion to a false god like Chef Boyardee would really allow you to stand up against me?"

David coughed up blood and said "no, but it allowed me and Gardevoir to buy the Chef enough time to gather enough energy to bring your whole existence to an end."

As David said this, a white star began to appear in the middle of the battlefield. The three fighters shielded their eyes to protect themselves from this holy sight. After a while, Svengoolie rubbed his eyes and looked again, before seeing that it wasn't actually a star at all, it was Chef Boyardee having taken his celestial form and he looked PISSED!

"Svengoolie, for too long you have oppressed the people of this dimension and today that comes to an end."

Svengoolie just picked his nose nonchalantly before asking "who me?"

Chef Boyardee then pulled out his Boyardee Dimension Cutting sword and decapitated Svengoolie with it, causing the dimension killer's body to spew gallons of blood in all directions, giving every planet in the galaxy a fresh supply of drinkable fluids in the process.

Chef Boyardee then reached over and helped his two students stand back up, before saying "you've done a wonderful thing today."

David then said "before I met you, all I wanted to do was rape Pokémon, but now, all I want to do is protect the sacred artifact known as Ravioli from those who would do harm to it." Gardevoir nodded her head in approval at that statement.

Chef Boyardee laughed and said "that makes me happy to hear, let's go home and relish in our victory."

And so the three of them did.