TBB - Survival, it's just a word, right? (Echo/TBB)
By GunRoswell
Preface
It's hard being the one that survives
Preface
Set somewhere in the The Bad Batch galaxy of things. Timeline? What Timeline?
Echo's POV of what it means to be, a survivor.
Part of the Bad Batch One Shots / CHSOTM Events/ Prompt "It's hard being the one that survives"
It's hard being the one that survives
'Survival, is one of the important things taught to soldiers going to war. Alas, some of the, will never return from the battles, no matter how many tactics they might know or how high their survival instincts just might be.'
The mission, had been a tough one. The teams survival hanging on a thin thread.
Thankfully, Echo's quick thinking or rather his stubbornness to give up, his willingness for sacrifice himself had changed the tide for what had seemed like a clear defeat. Coming back to their base they called home now and having a short respite before the next chase. Giving Echo some time, to reflect.
Echo had been many things in his life, the latest being that of a rebel. But most of all, he was a survivor. Surprisingly also the one thing still haunting him to this day. As it wasn't easy being the one that survived when others of his kind, had not.
The time for reflection for the one Arc trooper, now a rebel they called, Echo…
I've been a child for a while there, a brother, a lover even, a friend for most, but ultimately a soldier in a war never wanting to end. And then, I died. Went off in a fiery blast and not with a smile.
And so, there I was, being quite, dead. But others found me. Using what was left. It was at that moment the universe putting it all into a perspective, the life as I once knew it now neglected never to be retrieved again?
This story, nothing you haven't heard before of this I am sure. And perhaps a bit of a tale bored, but it's all part of the lore and since it's no chore for me, I will share it with thee.
Someone once told me it's hard to be the one that survives. But I feel at least I have to try. If not for myself, than for those having come and gone, never getting the second chance, and so I them owe a great debt.
And so, the sad tale filled with self hatred, the regrets, the nightmares never ending soon following my rescue. Yes, they did come for me. My Captain, my friends, all of them never forgetting. No matter what I had done, they came for me, saving me from a fate worse than death.
The body that once was all but gone, but still I felt strong to soldier on. Felling elated, thankful for them to have remembered me, trusted in me, even if I did not. Soon enough, joining in the battles, things being just like before.
Alas, they were not. No matter how much I wanted them to be, life as it was, was gone for good.
Still, as someone once said, times changed, people changed, as if they did not, they died away. And so, I changed too. By and not by choice. I was a changed man for sure.
I had a family, friends and lovers once, all of them gone now. Well, not all, but most. So many tears I shed, for them all and yet, I now, in the present, I feel renewed somehow. With my new place in this new, perhaps rented life. But the galaxy too had changed and so, guess it was only a matter of time for the rest of us to catch up.
A family, plenty of friends, lovers too, nothing about to feel blue. And yet, I cannot help but sit here, dwell in the past. Pondering, wondering about the could haves and what ifs. Most of all, the what if I had never betrayed any of them, by getting caught by the enemy.
Yeah, I know I died and there was nothing I could do about it at the time.
Still, those memories haunt me, most of the nights. The fright, of still being alive when the others, have died. But I guess, I can live with it. For now at least.
Because I am a survivor.
Something of a title to be added to a somewhat long list of what I am, have been and Force allowing, will become. No shame in admitting that. They all assured me as much, my new family, my lovers I was a good man. And yet I keep going back, back to the time when I, did not really exist.
Not as myself anyway. Or so the others keep telling me. As I was not myself. Only being controlled by those using me for their own purposes. Yeah, I know they're right of course, but on some level, I still feel so much remorse for not being able to fight back.
But most of all, I feel regret, of being saved, where others could not be. Saved. No other secret facilities to go find them?
Guess having these reflective sessions of my own isn't such a great idea, being alone with my thoughts and all. I wonder, whether it's the punishment, even if self-inflicted. But I am the only one making myself feel guilty and so, if I can do this, get over it all, then whom else can, right?
And so once again, I am asking for forgiveness from them all, those brave troopers having lost their lives most likely because of my actions. But most of all my dearly departed loves, know that I will always carry you inside my broken heart.
Thankfully, these are only thoughts of mine. Thoughts I dwell on from time to time. As mostly, I am surrounded by my loved ones. The lot of them making sure I am not alone. I really hate being alone and they all know it too. A contradiction for sure.
And so, my final thought for today, is sending out this one single prayer. To the Force and whatever else deities are out there, to take care of those having gone before me. All my friends and family. Please, tell them all, I am feeling… okay. But especially to my love, Fives. Well, guess we'll see each other somewhere out there again.