Chapter 16
"Get some water. She's opening her eyes." Natasha pats Drew on the shoulder, hoping to knock him out of his trance. He's been staring at Olivia since she fainted. Drew hears Natasha but the sound is muffled. As much as he wants to move, his brain has a hard time registering the command. Watching Olivia faint riled him, bringing him back to the days he watched his mother get high and pass out. Natasha huffs and walks inside the kitchen filling a glass with water.
Chase paces rapidly, moving across the room, his anxiety skyrocketing. "We should call 911." He blurts out, holding his phone in his hand.
"Your being dramatic, Chase." Mellie chimes, standing next to Fitz. Olivia is resting on the couch. He's kneeled on the floor, stroking Olivia's cheek, whispering her name. Olivia's brown eyes flutter open, her eyelids are heavy and she closes them back tightly. Taking in a deep breath, she opens them again, meeting Fitz's gaze. It's intense and laced with concern. "Sweetheart." He whispers, squeezing her hand. Her mouth is dry and she swallows a few times trying to coat the lump forming in her throat. Natasha shoves the glass of water in her direction. "Oh…my…God, Liv you fainted. Do you remember what happened?" Her voice is clipped and high pitched, different from earlier. Olivia shuts her eyes at the piercing sound.
"Shut up, Natasha! Your no better than Chase." Mellie snaps. "Go over there and sit the fuck down." Mellie kneels next to Fitz, placing her hand on his shoulder, rubbing it. "She's ok."
Fitz keeps his eyes locked on Olivia, watching her like a hawk. His hand begins to shake and he stuffs it inside his pocket. Sitting up from the couch, Olivia takes a few deep breaths, pressing the square pillow close to her chest. "Sorry, everyone. I had a mild panic attack. I'm ok."
"Mild? What does a major panic attack look like?" Drew murmurs, glaring at her. "Shit, you gave me one hell of a scare." He walks to the bar, filling a glass with scotch. "Fuck, I need a drink."
"Leave us." Fitz states gruffly, sitting next to Olivia, bringing his arm around her. He brushes a loose curl behind her ear, softly kissing her cheek.
"I think we should stay and make sure Olivia is ok." Chase squeezes Natasha's hand.
Natasha walks to the couch, picking up her purse, "no, Chase. Fitz needs time with Olivia."
Fitz ignores his friends. He's given his directive and they know he won't waver from his decision. He stands, offering Olivia his hand. "Let's go upstairs, sweetheart."
"Wh-what about your friends?" Olivia questions.
"They're leaving." His eyes never leave hers. "They'll be fine. My concern right now is you."
Mellie takes a few steps toward Fitz. She glances at Olivia then back at Fitz, "do you want me to stay?"
"I'm fine." He grunts, linking his fingers with Olivia. He offers a light squeeze as they walk to the elevator.
Once in the bedroom, Fitz disappears inside the bathroom. She can hear the trickling of water and she figures he's running a bath. He returns, strolling toward her with a fierceness in his eyes. "Fitz, I'm sorry about ruining the dinner with your friends. It's…just…I have panic attacks." Her shoulders slump and she can feel a breakdown brewing. She didn't want to show this side of her. What must he think? Letting out a sigh, she sits on the bed, dropping her head in her hands. "I didn't expect it to happen…I'm sorry."
He stands in front of her, tilting her chin upward, "don't apologize." He presses his lips to hers. "I'm going to undress you, wash you…then we can talk."
Olivia nods. There's no point in trying to change his mind. He's a man on a mission.
His movements are slow as he lifts her dress over her head. His eyes drop to her breasts which are covered by a lacy black bra. It's his normal reaction when he sees her naked. His thoughts aren't filled with sex. They're blocked by worry and concern. Undoing the clasp, he allows her breasts to bounce free. His hands dip inside the fabric at her hips, dragging down her thong. Olivia is a beautiful woman, not a flaw in sight. Her breasts are round, supple, more than a handful. Tiny little hairs cover her sex, adding beauty to her physique. She has a face of a goddess and soft lips that cover his mouth with intensity whenever they kiss. He guides her to the tub and help her step into the warm water. Resting her head against the white porcelain, she closes her eyes. Fitz quickly rids his clothes, easing behind her in the tub. He takes the washcloth in his hand, squeezing water over her body. The warmth soothes her skin, calming her raging emotions. He takes his time lathering the washcloth with soap before brushing it over her skin. His touch is soft, comforting. She feels safe. Keeping her eyes firmly shut, she speaks in a low tone. "I had my first panic attack on the night of Callie's death. When the officer came and told my parents, I was sitting in the kitchen. I heard every word, the entire description of the accident. I remember standing and trying to catch my breath but I couldn't. I woke up in the hospital. I had a panic attack everyday leading up to her funeral." Olivia takes a deep breath. Fitz links his fingers with hers, giving her the support, she needs to continue. "Most of the time my panic attacks are triggered, sometimes they happen randomly." Her tears slip down her cheeks, dropping into the water.
"What triggered the attack?" Fitz asks, kissing the top of her shoulder.
Swallowing hard, Olivia answers, "my parents are planning to visit New York."
"Is that not a good thing?"
"I haven't told them about you and my mother doesn't have a great relationship with my aunt."
Sensing there was more to the story, he presses her, "Is that all?"
Olivia sighs, leaning her head against his chest. "No, my ex is chartering a bus for his concert. They're coming with him. I haven't seen him since we broke up."
Fitz wraps his arms around her waist, protectively, demonstrating his possessiveness. "He's a singer…right."
"Yes…apparently he's made it big enough to tour." Olivia shrugs.
"I can make myself invisible while your parents are in town." He states firmly. "I normally don't meet parents."
Olivia chuckles. "I don't know what I want, Fitz. Some days I want to shout from the rooftop that you're mine and other times I want us to remain in this bubble we've created."
He slowly massages her back. "I'll do whatever you want with stipulations." Olivia turns in the water facing him. "Stipulations?" She asks.
"I'm a jealous man, Olivia. Stay away from your ex." His tone is harsh and final.
"Do you plan on doing the same?"
"Yes. I have no intentions on seeing or speaking to Victoria." She turns back around and Fitz continues his massage on her back. "You're mine, Olivia. He's your past. He doesn't get another chance." His possessiveness is intense and a turn on at the same time. Olivia crosses her legs, calming the ache building deep in her core.
"The same applies to Victoria." She retorts.
X
Olivia awakes to an empty bed. Rolling over on Fitz's side, she engulfs the scent of his body wash mixed with cologne. The scent brings her body alive and she can feel the pool of moisture forming at the lips of her sex. She glances at the bathroom door, its ajar, meaning Fitz isn't inside. He must be downstairs. Quickly dipping two fingers inside her dripping core, she goes to work making her body respond. Light moans escape her lips as her hips buck off the mattress. Her orgasm ripples through her body, instantly relaxing her, "thank God for oxytocin." She whispers in the air. She stares at the ceiling, contemplating if she should call her mother. Sitting up on the bed, she reaches over on the dresser for her phone, noticing a single rose with a note.
Sweetheart, I went for a run. You looked peaceful and deep in slumber. I didn't want to wake you. I will bring breakfast to you.
F.
Smiling, Olivia prepares for the day, showering, brushing her teeth, applying a small amount of makeup, and tussling her curls. She steps inside the bedroom and Fitz is holding the stem of the rose between his lips. He uncovers the plates, placing the silver tops on the dresser. "Waffles, bacon and scrambled eggs." He announces, plucking the rose petals, tossing them on the mattress. "Good morning, handsome." Olivia saunters to him, pecking his lips.
"Good morning." He gathers her in his arms, bringing her to his lap, kissing her deep. "How are you feeling?"
"Wonderful."
"Good, because I have an entire day planned for us."
"Really, tell me. Where are you taking me?"
He chuckles, lightly. "It's a surprise."
Olivia devours the food. Licking her lips, she bites into the apple danish. "You spoil me, Fitz."
"I haven't begun to spoil you, Olivia." He takes a quick bite of her danish.
Olivia laughs, pushing him away. Her phone rings knocking them out of their playful mood. Her body tenses and he immediately notice the change in her demeanor. Olivia sucks in her bottom lip, biting the flesh, "it's my mom."
"I'm sure she's worried about you. Do you want some privacy?" Fitz states.
Olivia shakes her head no, taking a deep breath. "Hi, mom." She presses the speaker button so Fitz can hear the conversation.
"Olivia, thank god you answered. Last night what happened? There was a lot of noise in the background. You were on the phone and then you weren't. Are you ok?" Maya rambles.
"Mom I'm fine. I had a panic attack. I was out with some friends."
"Good Lord, Olivia. This is why I didn't want you leaving Georgia. You need to come home…right…now!"
"Mom, I'm fine. I'm not a baby. I can manage. I'll call my therapist and increase my sessions."
"Was it something I said? Edison? The concert? What caused it?" Maya rattles off.
Olivia huffs, fisting the sheet on the bed. "I don't want to talk about Edison."
Fitz moves behind Olivia massaging her shoulders, hoping to relieve the building tension. Olivia presses her back against his chest, listening to her mother's chatter before finally ending the call. Sighing, she picks up the champagne flute, draining the rest of her mimosa. She stands and wraps her arms around his neck, "kiss me…please." He honors her request with a quick peck, "I have an entire day planned for us. Don't try to seduce me back into bed."
Olivia crosses her hands in front of her chest, pouting. "I woke up alone and had to satisfy myself this morning."
He raises an eyebrow, bringing her flush against his body, "without me?"
Olivia pushes from his chest, knowing he's intrigued and contemplating what to do next. Should he fuck her senseless or continue with his plans for the day.
He lowers his mouth to her ear. "When we ride the London eye today, I'll make up for not being in bed with you this morning. Have you ever been fucked in public, Olivia?" Her mouth is agape as he moves from her, picking up his phone as if he didn't just say the dirtiest thing ever. She curls her toes in her sandals, sucking in her bottom lip. He kisses her cheek and leads them out of the bedroom.
X
Olivia steps on one of the colorful boats lining the Regents Canal. She sits near the window, quickly linking her fingers with his. "It's beautiful." She coos. He's taken this trip down the canal many times. It's peaceful and calming. He watches Olivia. Her eyes brighten as the boat leaves the dock and ventures down the waterway. He's found that her happiness brings him joy. Fucking a woman is easy, simple. Loving her is work and challenging. By choice, he hasn't loved a woman in a long time. Involving his heart is a risk he wasn't willing to take, but somehow, he's changing and his heart is about to combust out of his chest for Olivia. Her panic attack last night scared him, impelling his mind with thoughts of losing her. Clearing his throat, he knocks her out of her trance from watching the boat whisk across the waves. "How are you feeling?" He asks softly.
"I'm fine." She smiles, squeezing his hand. He's been vastly overprotective since they left the house. He's beginning to remind her of her parents. Constantly asking how she's doing. Never leaving her side. Making her feel inadequate. The boat pulls into the dock and they step off walking to a nearby café.
"Inside or outside?" The hostess asks, holding two menus close to her chest.
"Inside." He turns to glance at Olivia and her face is scrunched up. "What's wrong?"
"It's a beautiful day. I would love to sit outside."
"It's really warm and you might get overheated, which might trigger an attack?"
Olivia sighs, taking his hand in hers, pulling him to the side of the restaurant. "Please don't treat me like this, Fitz."
"Like what?" He snaps, anger suffusing his face.
"Like I'm a child. I'm fine. I keep telling you, I'm fine." Her voice raises.
"I'm concerned about you, is that a bad thing. Do you want me to not give a fuck? Because I can easily do that, Olivia."
"Fitz, I want to be treated like I'm not broken…ok."
He lets out a breath, running his fingers through his sandy brown, curls. "I've never had a relationship before. I have no clue what to do, no clue if I'm any good at anything. I don't want you to wake up one day and realize I'm not giving you what you need. I don't know how to love a woman." She rests her hand on his rapid beating heart, "I know."
"When I saw your lifeless body in Drew's arms, I realized I was not ready to lose you in any fashion. I don't know if I can love because I've never let myself try."
"You're capable of love, Fitz. Everyone is."
"What if I'm not?" He's scared to fall in love and it pains him.
"I call bullshit." She cups his cheeks and smile. "We're in this together." She knows he's scared to fall in love, but when he does she plans on being the one to catch him.
X
They spend the rest of the day shopping, eating, and sightseeing. She's exhausted and her feet hurt from walking in heels all day. She's grateful when they rush to the front of the line for the London Eye and board the first car. The beauty of London comes in view and she finds it hard to look away. He places his hand at the small of her back, standing next to her. "When my father died and I needed peace. I sat on this ride every day."
"The view is breathtaking."
"Mellie has panic attacks." He blurts out. "I'm familiar with them."
Olivia turns, facing him, keeping quiet, patiently waiting for him to continue.
"She started having them after our father's killer went free. I hated seeing her so helpless. She takes medication." He states taking a seat on the small white bench in the center of the ride. "She's a good person to talk to if you want."
Olivia joins him on the bench, straddling him. "I'll talk to her." She can see the pain in his eyes and she hugs him resting her head on his shoulder. "I have nightmares." He whispers. She lifts her head, glaring at him. He offers a soft smile, "I'm broken too." He's never shared this part of himself with another woman. Not even Mellie. Once he consummated the evening with a woman, he'd leave and sleep in another room. The details of his sleeping arrangements were always outlined in the NDA without an explanation. Every night, he took a risk sleeping next to Olivia, praying the events from the incident that brought on the nightmares didn't rob his sleep. He'd buried that night deep in his subconscious.
Olivia brushes her fingers down his cheeks, "do you want to talk about it?"
"Not right now." He nuzzles his head against her neck, sucking on her flesh. "I really want to be buried deep inside you."
Olivia giggles, shaking her head. "We're having a moment and you want to have sex."
"I do." His hand slides up her skirt, tugging on her thong. She playfully swats it away, "Wait, baby." The term of endearment slips out of her mouth as if she uses it every day. She cups his cheeks, "thank you."
"For?"
"Trusting me enough to share your truth." Their eyes connect and he wants to say those powerful three words. There on the tip of his tongue, but he refrains, smiling, kissing her slow and deep. In that moment, he realizes Olivia is the one for him.
X
Pink and white roses cascade over the arch in the front of the altar where Chase and Natasha stand, reciting their vows. Concentrating on the wedding is difficult, Olivia can't keep her eyes off Fitz. He's wearing a black tux. His cerulean blue eyes lock on hers as Natasha and Chase recite each vow. It's as if he's promising her the same thing. Blushing, she looks down for a second, gaining her breath, then look back up and he's still focused on her. Natasha and Chase kiss, signaling their now one unit…married. Olivia smiles watching Fitz step down from the altar following the rest of the wedding party. She turns to Mellie and blurts, "do you think Fitz has a desire to get married?"
Mellie chuckles, leaning close to her ear, "you should ask him." She gathers her purse under her arm and smiles. "Let's get a drink from the bar. Fitz will be awhile. They have to take pictures."
Olivia nods, following Mellie to the bar.
"Two cosmos." Mellie orders once they reach the bar. "Feeling better?"
"Yes, thanks to Fitz." Olivia answers, taking the glass from the bartender, taking a sip.
"He's the best, right?"
"He told me about your panic attacks."
Mellie sits her drink on the ledge of the bar. "After the killer was set free, I was so scared he was coming after me. Seeing his dark black eyes every day in the courtroom frightened me. I could barely function. Fitz found me in my office laying on the floor, unable to move." Mellie guzzles down the rest of her drink, signaling to the bartender for another. "I told him everything I had been experiencing and he took care of me."
Jealousy boils deep within her, Olivia asks, "how did he take care of you?"
Mellie places her hand on top of Olivia's, "he made sure I had the right doctors and checked on me constantly. He stayed at my apartment for a week making sure the medicine was working. Fitz and I are friends only. We've shared some difficult moments but I've never wanted him in a romantic way. I can be your biggest ally Olivia, but cross me or Fitz and I'll be your worst nightmare."
Olivia swallows…hard. Mellie turns to look at the wedding party entering inside the tent. She waves, ushering Drew over to them. Olivia strains her eyes, but doesn't see Fitz.
X
Once the pictures are done, Fitz and Drew stroll down the hallway with the rest of the wedding party. Fitz stops when he sees a woman standing by the window, instantly recognizing the curves and long blond hair. He halts his steps, pulling Drew to the side. "Victoria is here."
"What!" Drew looks at the window and the woman turns to face them. Her hands are crossed in front of her chest. She walks toward them, "Fitz we need to speak."
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Fitz groans, stepping close to her.
She takes a deep breath, "we need to talk. Do you want me to embarrass you out here?"
"Fuck!" Drew curses under his breath. "Go to the room where we changed. I'll cover for you." He pats Fitz on the back.
Fitz huffs, walking toward the door, turning the knob, pushing it open. Victoria follows him. He slams the door, locking it. He quickly turns.
SMACK
Fitz stumbles back, rubbing up and down his cheek.
"You brought her to my country!" Victoria screams.
"Are you fucking crazy?" His cheek stings from her slap.
"I haven't begun to show you crazy. You fucked me for five years and think you can just walk away and throw this bitch in my face."
"We're done, Victoria."
"No…No…" She stomps across the floor, pointing her finger directly at him. He takes a few steps back fearing she might slap him again. "We're never going to be done, Fitzgerald. Why do you keep hurting me? It wasn't like this until you met her." Victoria turns, strolling toward the window, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "You fucked her, didn't you?"
He's silent.
"What does she have that I don't?" Victoria huffs. "I could have gone to the press and made up lies about you. They would have believed me. I have pictures."
"You signed an NDA, Victoria. You know the consequences." He grunts, smirking.
"I let you fuck other women while we were together." She yells. "I gave you everything!"
He leans his back against the wall, shaking his head. "We were never in a relationship, Victoria. You fucked other men, you're not innocent."
"I only slept with them in an attempt to get you out of my system." She vigorously wipes at her eyes, swiping away the tears. "I…love…you, Fitzgerald. My heart belongs to you and you know it."
"No, you don't. You loved the possibility of being a Grant and now someone stands in your way. Like I said, we're done."
"What about the deals with my father? He'll snatch them away the minute he finds out we're no longer together."
"They'll be others. I have to go." He stands at the door resting his hand on the knob sighing. "I was clear from the beginning that our relationship was strictly sexual and nothing more. It lasted longer than expected. I'm sorry if your feelings got involved and you fantasized a life with me. I never promised you a future. You are my past. Olivia is my future." He turns the knob, yanking on the door, "one more thing, Victoria, don't ever put your fucking hands on me again."
"Fitzgerald, if you leave me, there will be hell to pay." Victoria retorts.
"Huck loves a good challenge. You remember him, don't you?" Fitz smirks, slamming the door.
He knows giving up his business deals with Victoria's father will be a major hit to Grant Industries. A sacrifice he's willing to make, now that Olivia is in his life. He's placated Victoria in order to keep the relationship with her father solid. As a smart business man, he knew the pendulum would eventually swing in his direction. Her father's opposition was more than willing to accept his hefty business offers. He invested his own money, knowing the board would never approve the transaction. He officially has a clean slate, allowing him to fully move on from Victoria and enjoy his relationship with Olivia. He takes his time returning to the reception, contemplating telling Olivia about seeing Victoria. Taking a deep breath, he searches for Olivia in the sea of people on the dance floor. He spots her right away from the bounce of her curls and the sway of her hips. He approaches hesitantly and she notices immediately something is wrong. His eyes are a dead giveaway. She throws her hands around his neck, swaying her hips. His arms wrap around her waist and she melts into him, giving him comfort. He rests his lips on hers, pleading for a kiss. She accepts and their tongues duel passionately. Olivia breaks the kiss, "what's wrong?"
He offers a soft smile, "I need to talk to you."
She nods telling Mellie and Natasha she'll be back.
He walks her to a secluded patio. Sitting across from her he takes her hands in his, glancing at her. His blue eyes are sad, "Victoria is here."
Olivia snatches her hands away and sits back in her chair. "Wh-what…Why?"
"She was looking for me."
"Is that where you were a few minutes ago?" Olivia questions, her heart thumps in her chest.
"Yes."
"What did she want?" Her anger rises and she stands, pacing, waiting for his response. Her breaths are shallow and she rubs her hands together repeatedly.
"To talk."
"About what?" She snaps, her voice loud and deep.
He notices the change in her tone and sighs. She's irrational and he needs to center her before she has another panic attack. "Sit, Olivia."
"No."
"Sit…down, Olivia." His voice raises, deepens.
"No." She states, firmly again.
"Sit down, Olivia." He bellows.
She halts her steps, huffing, crossing her arms in front of her chest, sitting next to him. Her eyes are focused on the white tent in the distance. She can hear the music from the wedding and she desperately wishes they were inside dancing.
"A good portion of my businesses in London are connected with Victoria's father, Edgar. My relationship with Victoria was essential to those deals."
"What are you saying, Fitz. You have to keep her in your life because of your company."
He shakes his head. "I've been meeting with his opposition and have secured several deals to keep Grant Industries afloat in London. Mellie is unaware. The only person that knows is Chase, since this is his territory of the company. Victoria is going to tell her father I ended the relationship which will affect the company in a major way. It is my problem and I'm fixing it. I am telling you this because it affects…us. I may need to spend more time in London."
Olivia lowers her eyes, reaching her hand across the chair, linking her fingers with his. "Does this mean our relationship will be long distance?"
"Not if I can help it. I'll be in New York as much as possible. I'll fly you to London when I can't be in New York."
"I have a job, Fitz. I can't just leave and fly to London on a whim. This changes everything."
"I know, but you mean the world to me, Olivia. Losing you isn't an option."
"We'll figure it out…ok. We should get back to the wedding." Olivia smiles, straitening his black bowtie. If she focuses on him leaving, she'll break down and cry. They both stand, wrapping their arms around each other, kissing with intensity. Pledging their love to each other.
X
Drew walks inside the reception hall. Victoria bolts out the door, wiping her eyes. She turns, bumping into him. "Vic, I thought you left."
She shakes her head. "Fitz doesn't want me, Drew. No one wants me." She rests her head on his shoulder, weeping.
"Not true." He responds lifting her chin, offering her deep short kisses. Victoria sucks on his bottom lip, deepening the kiss. The fabric of her dress is flimsy and she feels him hardening between her legs. She breaks the kiss, glaring at him, her eyes glossed over from her tears, "fuck me, Drew." He lifts her in his arms, kicking the door behind him with his foot. Their kisses are sloppy and intense. Drew hikes up her dress, pushing her thong to the side. She fumbles with his belt buckle until his erection is free. He thrusts inside her, groaning at the feeling. Moans of pleasure echo throughout the room as they get lost in each other. Neither one of them considering the consequences, only the feeling of pure sexual bliss.