PIGEON

A pigeon stood underneath a cardboard box, pecking at a pile of breadcrumbs. Bakugo held the rope to make it fall.

"That's it. For all that artificial intelligence you have, you're no match to simple human ingenuity. And… gotcha!"

The box slammed down, and a surprised coo came from inside the box. Bakugo leapt and punched the box. "Got you now, you spying, manipulative robotic scum!"

The box shouted, "Dude! Stop hitting me!"

"Begging won't save you now, robot!"

The box got thrown aside, revealing Kaminari underneath. He had breadcrumbs around his mouth. "Not cool, dude! I was having a snack when you started hitting me out of nowhere!"

Bakugo froze. The pigeon cooed from a nearby lamp post and pecked on the glass. He punched Kaminari in the face, and the classmate slumped unconscious.

"My trap worked too well. Good thing I had a back-up plan. Pocket sand!"

Bakugo flung a fistful of sand at the bird. It lazily flapped away, and the sand flew onward to hit Aoyama in the face.

"Merde! Mon beautiful face! It burns!"

Aoyama's laser fired, cutting through a building. Ochako caught herself with her Quirk and hurled rainbow vomit across the ground. Iida, racing by, slipped on the vomit and slid into the path of Tsuyu's tongue. Tsuyu only had time to say "Uh-oh, kero," before she got whipped along for the ride. The outstretched tongue clotheslined Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, and Mineta, which led to the entire campus getting covered in ice, sticky balls, and matryoshka dolls filled with war crimes. The remaining students slipped and slid about until they got stuck or hit a Russian-themed landmine.

The pigeon sat in the midst of the carnage, gazing about with lazy, spaced-out eyes. Bakugo glared at the bird and said, "That's it. You're going down!"

Bakugo dashed forward and punched. The pigeon raised a wing to block it. Its foot snapped up and caught Bakugo in the chin.

Bakugo wiped blood off his lips and said, "Oh, it's on!"

The pigeon held out a wing and made a 'bring it' gesture.

Bakugo roared and punched, packing each hit with nitroglycerin. The pigeon deftly deflected each strike and countered with a wing to the face. Bakugo ducked and kicked up. The pigeon kicked his leg aside, twirled, and sent a roundhouse kick to Bakugo's knee. Bakugo leapt and brought both arms down in a devastating explosion.

The blast engulfed the pigeon. Bakugo smirked into the smoke cloud and said, "Ha! Got you."

A sharp blow hit the back of Bakugo's neck. When he fell, the pigeon hopped onto his back, pecked at his shirt, and defecated in his hair.

Koda walked up to the pigeon and said, "Hi there! Find any tasty breadcrumbs today?"

The pigeon turned towards him. Half its face was torn away, revealing a robotic exoskeleton underneath. Its eyes glowed red, and it said in a menacing robotic monotone, "The organic will tell no one."

Koda hurriedly nodded and ran for his life.

500

If you think robot pigeons are scary, just imagine geese with chainsaws for beaks.

Also, this chapter forced me to confront my horrible habit of spelling pigeon with a 'd'. Ugh.