SLACKERS

EPISODE XXIII

SINS OF THE FATHER

CHAPTER THREE - IMPATIENT PATIENTS

Anyone who has read a Slackers script knows that this is not an uncommon occurrence. That is, the sight of at least one of the group in the hospital waiting room, there to visit a buddy who's been attacked, maimed, or just damn clumsy. In this case, we'll reference the time Wario and Knuckles took their turn waiting in the room of "impatient patients" to see their friend whose latest visit to the hospital was the result of violently crashing his go-kart into a wall in an attempt to jump it.

Knuckles sat, his arms folded, looking at Wario with intense, but familiar, disappoinment.

"What?" came an innocent enough remark from the mustached course designer.

"I don't know if I should be more disappointed in you for coming up with this shit, or in myself for having anything to do with you idiots," said Knuckles, vocalizing a thought he must have mentally repeated on a daily basis at this point.

"You keep saying that, yet here you are, always getting involved anyway!" argued Wario.

"Getting involved, my ass! You volunteered me!"

"I did not! I told you Mike had challenged me to a race, I asked you to come ref, and you said 'Well gee Wario, I guess I'd better go, just to make sure one of you guys doesn't get killed!' And, like I said, here you are!"

Impatient indeed.

The two kept bickering for what could have gone on forever, ignoring the stares and awkward looks from others in the room. Those others were finally shown a shred of mercy when a staff member came into the room and called for the two of them.

"Mr. Echidna?"

Knuckles broke off his argument with Wario long enough to direct his attention to the door.

"You guys can go in now."

"Finally..." said Knuckles, not in reference to having to wait for what was probably at least two hours by now, but in having to sit there with a hotheaded Wario as his only company.

The two of them calmly (yeah, right) followed the staffer through the door, down the halls, and into Room 1916, what should have been known by now as the Slackers room. Once inside, they approached the familiar sight of a heavily-bandaged, slightly sedated Mihalis.

"Heyyyy, buddy..." Wario said calmly, his voice up by at least an octave, hoping his Pauly Shore impression would save him from being at the receiving end of his business partner's wrath.

"You had to pick a day when Mew was off-planet, didn't you," Mihalis said coldly.

"No one forced you to attempt the jump, dude," replied Wario.

"Ugh, it's just like Mt. Silver all over again. You brag and brag and brag so much, you make it impossible to not want to beat you."

Wario laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head.

"Why don't I just put something on TV?" he finally said.

"As long as you don't force me to watch 15 hours of Gilmore Girls again..." grumbled Mihalis, remembering one of the lowest things Wario had ever plotted.

Wario took the nearby remote and changed the channel to a baseball game. This was always a safe bet for something the whole group would enjoy. Then again, all Mew ever watched was Planet Kanto, and he'd whine when no one else wanted to see it. Thankfully, since he was billions of miles away, the others had nothing to worry about.

For the three friends, all that really mattered right now was hanging out and spending time together. Wario sat on a nearby couch, grunting and manspreading, while Knuckles stood by the window, arms folded, leaning against the wall. For all the arguments and disagreements they had been a part of, they were still brothers at heart who would both take and give bullets for the other. If you'd asked them how long they had been hanging out like this, none of them could tell you anymore. By now, time had only soared, and it would have been easy to forget whether their old, infamous poker tournament was a year or a decade ago.

Of course, at the end of every adventure, it was back to business as usual. Normally they'd just spend time together at Slackers, but every now and then, they would branch out to other venues, like The Drunken Goomba, Mihalis and Wario's favorite bar besides their own. Sometimes, probably more often than they'd like to admit, they'd have to spend time in a hospital room. They'd argue about who was at fault, then they'd crack jokes, then they'd swear each other out, then they'd compare favorite pizza toppings and explain why their choices were the canon ones, then they'd talk about how stupid Mihalis was to replicate that go-karting stunt, then about how stupid Wario was for making such a dumb design.

Mihalis could only roll his eyes when he heard the sound of someone else knocking at the door. Probably Misty to scream at him for cutting it dangerously close to death once again. This was turning into a regular habit: getting involved in dangerous activities and fully counting on Mew's healing abilities immediately afterwards. God, how badly he had wished Mew could be there so he could be healed right away and manage avoiding the wrath of Misty once again.

He was only partially right. Misty, four months pregnant with his baby, did indeed come through the door, looking more pissed off than a redneck at a global warming convention, but behind her was another guest he was not expecting.

"...Mom?"

Misty said nothing, only staring daggers at him while she sat at a nearby chair. A truly powerful, soul-crushing move if there ever was one. Mihalis knew that look, and the only reason he wasn't sleeping on the couch tonight was because he was already bedridden in a damn hospital. She folded her arms, mentally telling him all the horrible things she was going to do to him once he was released. He gulped.

The very stark contrast came from Amanda Sakaki. The small, 53-year-old brunette in a sundress and a cardigan managed to crack a smile, thankful that her son had lived through the event.

Amanda and Mihalis had been reconnected for about a year and a half now. Although he was the only family she had anymore, she never allowed herself to obsess over keeping him safe and protected at all costs. He was 31 years old when she saw him for the first time since his infancy; she knew he was grown up now, and had made a modestly successful life of his own. She was proud of him in every way, and never kept her feelings hidden from him. He knew this, and he loved his mother dearly. He was probably a bit more violent in feeling protective of her than she was of him, but trust me, you still wouldn't want to piss off a Sakaki mom.

Nowadays, she was just glad he wanted her in his life as much as she wanted him in his. She had spent years promising herself that if she ever got her baby back, she would encourage him to follow whatever path he wanted. He was now running a bar with his old buddy, had four Indigo League championships under his belt, and was expecting his own baby with his longtime girlfriend.

The only true hostility in the room was directed from that same love of his life: a petite, fiery redhead on the chair, directed at the architect of what was almost Mihalis's final misadventure.

She looked like she wanted to skin him alive.

"I, uh..." Wario stammered, knowing it probably wasn't the best idea to say much of anything to Misty at this point. A single bead of sweat dripped down his cheek as he chuckled nervously. It didn't take him long to decide he was going to resort to a tactic all too familiar to him: the coward's way out.

"I'll... see myself out now, I think."

She nodded in tense agreement.

Wario turned to his hospitalized friend.

"See you at work tomorrow!"

Glares from all over the room, not appreciating the joke. More nervous laughter followed.

"Eheheh... uh... well, later!"

Wario was gone from the room so fast you could swear there was unlimited, free garlic waiting for him at the end of the hall.

Amanda hadn't spent enough time around her son's friends to really understand their dynamic. Then again, it might take years before anyone could really get it. Even the friends themselves questioned it at times.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know," replied Misty as she closed her eyes and sighed.

"As for you," she said sternly, glaring at her boyfriend, whom gulped loudly enough to overpower the hospital's industrial air conditioner. "What in the absolute hell were you thinking?!"

"But Wario..." he began.

"But Wario nothing!" she snapped back. "Even if Mew were here, he couldn't heal you if you were dead, you friggin' moron!"

Amanda stood back in a corner, desperately trying to cover her snickering mouth.

"Are you going to keep pulling this kind of shit when you're a dad?!" yelled Misty.

"What about Knuckles? He's a dad and he does fun stuff with us too!" said Mihalis.

"Leave me out of this," Knuckles said quietly yet sternly, none too keen on having any of Misty's attention right now.

Misty sighed again. No matter how much she tried, she eventually figured there was no way she could come between Mihalis and Wario's weird friendship again. It hadn't worked out too well the last few times she had tried. She even patched things up with Wario multiple times, but no matter how many days they got along, or even made a good team, it was pretty unlikely the distaste would ever completely disappear.

"The whole reason Sakura came back in time last March was to stop you from getting yourself killed," said Misty.

Amanda smiled at that comment. Shortly after Mihalis and Misty's daughter visited from the future to save his life, they had visited her in her home in Vaniville Town, Kalos, to bring her up to speed. It's also there where they learned the origin of Sakura's name: it was Amanda's maiden name. The only conclusion would have been that they named her after Amanda in a way. She had a hard time imagining herself as a grandmother, considering she could probably get a teenage boyfriend with her youthful appearance, but she couldn't wait to meet the girl someday.

Now that Misty was actually pregnant with the prime universe's Sakura, everyone around her had noticed a change in her temperament. She was still a loud and abrasive, yet sweet companion, but she was now more concerned with Mihalis's health and safety than ever before. After all, she was about to begin raising a daughter with him, likely before the end of this year. Of course Mihalis would remember this, and would try to practice a new sense of responsibility, but dammit, he couldn't let Wario get the last laugh on anything. Even though that's exactly what happened in the end.

Misty turned her attention to Knuckles.

"Anything to add?" she asked.

Knuckles groaned and sighed. He knew he should have listened to his instincts and not gotten involved (how many times had he gone through that train of thought?) but something about the dynamic he shared with Mihalis, Mew, and Wario had a way of constantly drawing him in time and time again.

"Yeah... sorry..." was all he could muster. He was sincere, if embarrassed, but he still knew it would be hard to talk his way out of this one.

He eventually decided he would follow Wario's example.

"Look, I'm gonna get going... let me know if you guys need anything, alright?" he said.

He began his walk out of the room, briefly resting a hand on Misty's shoulder on his way. She stopped him when he got to the door.

"Knuckles..." she began.

He turned around. "Hm?"

"I know you guys love hanging out and goofing off, and I hate how much of a buzzkill I must sound like... but, with this whole thing with the baby..."

Knuckles smiled. "I get it, Mis. We'll all make an effort to be more careful from here on out."

They smiled at each other and Knuckles made his exit. The only ones left in the room now were the bedridden Mihalis, the pregnant and pissed Misty, and the quiet, sensible Amanda.

Misty ran her hands down and back up her legs, letting out a sigh and feeling some of the tension releasing from her body.

"What would you have done if he'd pulled this kind of crap as a teenager?" Misty asked Amanda.

Mihalis's biological mother could find no answer.

Eventually, she would reply "I haven't really thought about it."

Amanda had spent nearly thirty years wondering what had become of her son. The first few years, she was miserable and heartbroken without him, but over time, she learned to accept the circumstances as they were, and relied on the belief that he was out there somewhere, safe and happy. While things are never that simple, it was all she could do to keep going.

It's not like she could have gone out and looked for him. If she had, his father might have found her first.

"I guess I never really figured out how to be a mom. It's not like I can parent a 32-year-old!" she laughed.

Mihalis understood everything. He knew the circumstances and held no ill will towards her. The moment he found her, she immediately embraced him and lovingly accepted him as her own. The only thing she wasn't particularly fond of was his hair, which had grown so long it was down to his chest now.

"Well, anyway..." Misty trailed off before thinking of how to dissolve the tension in the air. "Looks like we're gonna be here a while. Who wants pizza?"

"A while?" asked Mihalis. "How long are you planning on staying?"

"Until you get better, mister," she replied, "at least overnight."

"Nuh-uh, you'll drive yourselves crazy just waiting around on me like that."

"Listen to her, honey," came Amanda's calming voice. "If I'd just wanted to check on you, I'd have called you. You don't make the trip from Kalos to the Metro Kingdom just to say hi for a few minutes."

"But..." he started. Immediately he knew he was going to lose the argument once again. For a while he was looking forward to an extended period of alone time in bed, away from his wild world, but if Misty and Amanda, the two people who had some sort of control over him, insisted, then he was being kept company.

"Alright, fine... pepperoni."

Misty smirked to give off the appearance of winning an argument, but she really didn't care. She loved Mihalis and Amanda more than anybody, and was thankful to be able to spend some time with just the two of them.

You know, I could totally end the story here if I wanted to. Try to win a contest to humiliate someone, and end up in the hospital. That sounds like a good moral, right? ... yeah, you're right, that would be lame. Let's throw a wrench in to fuck with the main character in the next chapter and make it super awkward.