James Potter was lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. "Full moon," he said.

"Yep," said Sirius.

There was silence.

"How d'you suppose he's doing?" said James. "Moony, I mean."

"Dunno," said Sirius.

More silence.

"Should we go visit him?" asked James.

"Nah," said Sirius. "He has to leave soon, anyhow."

"Right." James sighed. "I don't like it, Padfoot. I don't like it one bit."

"You've said so."

"I feel awful. It's not fair."

"You've said that, too."

"We need to go research Animagi more."

"You've said that, too!" Sirius groaned and held up one hand, holding his fingers together in a pinching motion. "I am this close to throwing you into the Forbidden Forest and letting the Death Eaters have you. Prongs, we've been doing nothing but research for ages and ages. I'm tired of it!"

"Oh, you are, are you? Do you think Remus is tired of transforming into a wolf every month? Every month since he was five? I don't care how tired you are! We have to do something!"

"This isn't doing anything, though! We haven't done a thing! If we were actually being productive, then sure, I'd keep doing it for Moony's sake. But we're not!"

The three present Marauders had been reading the book that had been written by the first Registered Animagus, Neoma (she had no last name; she was known simply as "Neoma", which Peter had found hilarious at first). To be quite honest, the book was helpful in the sort of way that Sirius was helpful to Dumbledore as Assistant Headmaster. They probably didn't need it—and it probably didn't help much at all—but they felt as if they had to read it, because what if it was helpful in some unprecedented, unadvertised way?

James pulled the heavy tome from underneath his bed and propped it on the floor. "What chapter are we on?"

"Don't know, don't care," said Sirius.

"Come on, Sirius. Peter. Gather round. We're going to find something, I'm sure of it. Padfoot, you're taking notes again. Get your things."

Sirius groaned again. "Prongs! Can't we just have one day off? Moony isn't going anywhere."

"He's in the Hospital Wing, so it's time we seized the opportunity to work while he's not around. Padfoot, please!"

Sirius groaned for the third time, but then he sank off of his bed and onto the floor next to James. Peter followed a moment later, and then they read the book and took notes for three hours straight.

"Moony had better appreciate the heck out of this," grumbled Sirius.

Dear Dad,

The full moon was last night, and I think it went fairly well. I'm mostly okay. Madam Pomfrey says that my leg is going to hurt tomorrow, but right now I'm under enough Pain-Relieving Potion that it feels fine. I'm mostly just tired. I almost feel as if I could sleep for four years.

That Arithmancy project that I'm working on is going well, too, I think. Professor Dumbledore is going to meet up with me in the Hospital Wing and help tomorrow (when I can keep my eyes open without going all cross-eyed). I've been spending HOURS on it, but I'm still not exactly sure where to go from here. Professor Dumbledore says that it'll probably take multiple years to do it properly, unless I can find a pattern earlier. I do hope that I can finish before the due date.

I've been listening to the Alexander Adamson records over and over again. I still miss Professor Questus. He used to visit me in the Hospital Wing after every full moon.

You haven't written to me in a while, and Madam Pomfrey didn't get a letter from Mum last full moon like she usually does. She asked me to write to you and see how you were doing. Is everything okay? Madam Pomfrey says that I can go home early for holidays if you need me there.

Things are all right here, I guess. My friends have been a little bit distant lately—they say they're working on some sort of project, but I don't know what. It's kind of complicated. James has his own friends, I'm busy, Peter is… well, I don't know what he's doing (he mostly just follows James and Sirius around), and Sirius is jealous because he's used to having me and James and Peter all to himself. Professor Dumbledore hired him as an "Assistant Headmaster" a while back (I think I already told you about that), and that seemed to help with his boredom.

I feel like it takes a while every year to get comfortable again. First year I was trying to figure out how to talk to people, second year I was getting used to them knowing about me, and then this year is just weird all the way round. The beginning of the year is always bad, I think. Perhaps that's just the way it is.

I keep trying to remember what Professor Questus would say, but I can't do it. I think it's because he always said things that surprised me, and I can't very well surprise myself. He was a lot cleverer than I am, so coming up with things that he would say if he were here is downright impossible.

I know he'd be uncomfortable with sentimentality, but I can't help it. I didn't miss him this much yesterday. I think it comes in waves, and it's far worse on the full moon.

Anyway, my main purpose of writing was to tell you about what happened yesterday. Mr. Ragfarn (from the Ministry) showed up and asked Madam Pomfrey if he could interrogate me about one of Greyback's recent threats. He wanted to use Veritaserum, but Professor Dumbledore argued and got me out of it. I'm worried he'll try to make up for that at the next Registry, but there's nothing I can do about that.

The interrogation went well, by the way. I didn't say anything incriminating. How could I? I'm thirteen years old and have never worked with Fenrir Greyback in my life. I just figured I'd tell you, even though you'll probably be worried about me. Better you know now than find out later.

Please write back soon—I'm bored to death in here!

Love,

Remus.

Dear Remus,

I'm sorry about the lack of correspondence—I'm afraid things have been rather busy over the past few weeks. We're okay, I promise—and I feel even better now that I know that the last full moon went well, though I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit emotionally turbulent. Unfortunately, I know the feeling all too well.

Your mother has just applied for a job in the area—she wants to work at a Muggle daycare (like she had planned to do before the fire). I must admit that sitting around the house and sulking has not done her well. She needs to be around people again, so I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen.

That means, of course, that you'll have to stay home alone every so often over holidays. Judging by what happened last spring, I know that isn't ideal (especially since Questus isn't around to watch you if there's a threat). We can talk about that later. For now, just think about it—if you would rather stay at school for the holidays, we won't be offended one bit.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends. If you need me to talk to them, I will (though I know you won't want me to!).

Remus, I can't begin to express how hard the whole situation is—for me, for your mother, for you, and perhaps even for your friends. I'm afraid that it isn't going to get better anytime soon, but Mum and I will do our best to help out. Talk to Professor Dumbledore or Madam Pomfrey if you need to—Madam Pomfrey in particular has been very helpful in comforting your mother. She knows what she's talking about.

I know that I'm not Questus. I told you last year that you could talk about anything with me, but I know it's not the same. My only advice for you (and I know this isn't Questus-worthy advice) is to wait it out. Keep going. It'll get better someday.

As for Ragfarn, Professor Dumbledore has already written to me about that, and it sounds to me like you handled yourself beautifully. Far better than I could have, at least. I might have punched him into outer space. I still might—we'll see what happens.

I love you!

Dad.

"Remus, your mother finally wrote to me," said Madam Pomfrey.

"She did?" asked Remus. "What did she say?"

"She said something about how you might want to stay at school for the holidays, since she and your father will both be out during the weekdays."

"Oh, yeah. Dad told me, and I've already written back. I'm still going home."

"Are you certain?"

"Absolutely."

"You know, I'm going home as well. Your father could always Apparate you over to my place during the day and then pick you up later."

"Really?" said Remus. "You mean your house? Your actual house?"

"Of course. I don't live here, you know."

"But… I mean… do you live alone?"

It was a little bit odd to imagine Madam Pomfrey as an actual person with an actual house, especially since she was at Hogwarts so often. What sorts of hobbies did she have? What sorts of foods did she eat? Remus had no idea, despite the vast amount of time he'd spent with her recently.

"No, I stay with my sister. It doesn't make sense to maintain a house of my own, seeing as I'm really only there over the summers and occasionally on holidays, when there's a supply matron available. You'll like her, I'm sure."

"Oh," said Remus. "But she… she doesn't know I'm a… does she?"

"She doesn't know you're a werewolf," Madam Pomfrey assured him. "I'd tell no one without your consent."

"Thank you," said Remus. "Erm… I'll have to think about it. I wouldn't feel right imposing."

"I'm inviting you, so it's not imposing at all," said Madam Pomfrey. "But yes, take all the time you need. And, speaking of time, you've been awake for a lot of it. You should sleep."

Remus didn't even argue.

He slept well that night, despite the Pain-Relieving Potion wearing off around eleven (which was far earlier than normal). Madam Pomfrey said that it was a good thing ("It just means that your body is working, Remus"), but Remus, who felt as if he'd sat in a vat of scorching oil all night, did not agree.

Still, he slept relatively well. There were no nightmares. He didn't think much about the town or Professor Questus. He even woke up to a message from his friends in the notebook (James had wished him a good morning, said that he hoped that he was doing well, promised to visit him later that day, and had also asked him a really strange question about what it was like to have four legs).

Remus ate a good breakfast, much to Madam Pomfrey's delight, and took a bath. He combed his hair diligently, brushed his teeth manually, and did some Arithmancy warm-up problems as he waited for Dumbledore to arrive.

After what seemed like an eternity, Dumbledore finally stepped through the doorway to Madam Pomfrey's office, shut the door behind him, and Conjured a chair by Remus' bed. "How are you?" he asked, and Remus was so excited to have company at long last that he nearly forgot how to speak English.

"I'm great, sir! Thank you! I'm doing fantastic!"

Dumbledore smiled. "Forgive me for saying so, but you happen to smell strongly of strawberries…"

"No, I don't," said Remus immediately. "I mean… well… maybe I do. I took a bath, and Madam Pomfrey's shampoo is strawberry-scented. But it doesn't smell like strawberries to me—it mostly just smells like artificial chemicals."

"That makes sense," said Dumbledore. "Now that we've solved that mystery, why don't we get started on your Arithmancy project? You mentioned you had some questions."

"Yes, I did," said Remus eagerly. He'd written a letter to Dumbledore recently about the project, and Madam Pomfrey had delivered it for him. "I don't understand where I'm supposed to go from here. I can only collect data once a month. Do I have to wait until I have enough data to go further? Are there any calculations I can do ahead of time?"

"There are," said Dumbledore. "You can draw up a number chart after each full moon, in fact. The first few will be abysmally wrong, but they'll improve every time with more data. If you only have to add the new data every time, you'll have a little bit of work every month instead of a lot of work in the future. Eventually, your predictions will start to line up with the future, and that's when you'll know that you're on the right track."

"Could you help me with the first one? I… I'm not exactly sure how to do that. We've only dealt with five variables in class, and there are more than five in my notebook."

"First, you'll have to test each variable on its own to make sure that it really does affect the transformation. The easiest way to do that is to use a Muggle graph—if there's obvious correlation, then you already know the answer. If there's no obvious correlation, then you're going to have to do a few calculations. May I have a piece of parchment and a quill?"

Remus pulled out his notebook and pen. "I've been using this for arithmancy research," he explained. "You can use the next page."

"Ah, a Muggle pen. Good choice."

"It's more portable. Easy for the Hospital Wing."

"I see." Dumbledore clicked the pen open and began to write a long, complicated equation. "This is Shurthing's Equation of Correlation," he said. "It's very long and complicated, I'm afraid, and you're going to have to experiment with each factor. There's a chart on page one hundred and sixty-seven with common numbers that you can try. It's going to take a lot of mathematics, a lot of patience, and a lot of willpower."

"Okay," said Remus. "And once I do that…?"

"Then you can start drafting charts."

"But I can't draft a chart without testing it, even when I don't have all the data and it's not to be a final draft. There are too many possibilities."

"There is a way to do more trials without transforming, but it's going to be difficult."

"I've got all the time in the world, Professor."

"Good. There is a way that you can replicate conditions—a simulation of sorts—through numbers. It's not one hundred percent accurate, but it will give you a general idea of what the data might be. Then you'll refine it later on with real, accurate, verified data. Remus, I must warn you that this is something that is not taught at Hogwarts. It is far beyond the capabilities of even the seventh-year N.E.W.T. class. It will not be easy."

"Do you… do you think I could do it?"

Dumbledore made a small humming noise and stroked his beard. "I do. How far have you read in your textbook?"

"I finished it last Tuesday, sir, though I'm afraid I don't understand all of it…."

"Do you understand up to chapter thirty?"

"Yes, sir, I think I do."

"Here's what I'm going to do for you, Remus. You're very bright, and you clearly have an interest for the subject. Now that I have an Assistant Headmaster, I should think I can take an hour a day for a while to help you. Now, you're very busy this year, so you may decline… but I'm sure you understand that speed is of the essence. This project would typically take decades, and you're attempting to complete it in a few years. I believe that this is the only way to do it."

"I'll do anything," said Remus immediately.

Dumbledore smiled. "I thought as much. I must admit that I am rather excited about the project, myself. I think that it could help a lot of people, should it be successful."

"What if I don't finish in three years? Professor Craff said that she'd have to fail me."

"She is no longer the Arithmancy professor, Remus, and I am not assigning a long-term project for your year. The fourth- and fifth-years will finish theirs out, of course, but many projects involve taking day trips. In the current climate and the climate of the near future, that is no longer safe. Your project will not be graded."

"Oh," said Remus. "That's good, I suppose."

"Indeed. But I stand by my point. The sooner you can finish, the better. My office, nine to ten pm? That shouldn't conflict with any of your current activities, and of course I will be respectful of full moons."

"It's past curfew."

"You will be with me."

Remus nodded slowly. "Then yes, sir, I would like that a lot."

"Good. For right now, why don't you work on the correlation graphs and equations? We'll start meeting up after Christmas holidays."

"That sounds perfect."

"I shall see you soon, Remus. Feel better soon. And, Remus…"

"Yes?"

"As always, thank you for being a well-behaved and dedicated student. Letting you attend Hogwarts was truly one of the best decisions I have ever made."

Dumbledore left, but Remus was still smiling two hours later when Madam Pomfrey told him that it was time for another nap. And he didn't stop smiling, even in his sleep.

His face hurt a little, but it was the good kind of pain.

Peter wanted Remus gone.

Well, he didn't really WANT Remus gone. He loved Remus. He was going to miss Remus with all his heart. The more he thought about it, the less he actually wanted to get rid of him.

But still.

The Marauders had been doing research on Animagi for months now, and every single time a new potential side effect came up, Peter sort of changed his mind about going through the process with his friends. And he couldn't even tell James and Sirius, because they wrote him off as "silly" every time.

But Peter could die. He wasn't as bright as James or Sirius, and he'd probably do something wrong. He was almost certain of it. Peter Pettigrew was risking his life, and it was a massive risk indeed.

He tried to tell James this once, but James did not seem impressed. "We'll be fine," he insisted. "We're the Marauders, after all. And besides, Remus is going to die super early in life if we don't help him. It's either possible-death for us or certain-death for him. It's clear which is the better option, isn't it?"

But Peter didn't think that it was the better option at all. Remus' pain tolerance was high, and Remus didn't even seem to like life much to begin with. Remus wouldn't mind dying, Peter was sure—and they'd all miss him terribly, but he'd be okay. Peter, on the other hand, was a different story. Peter had a great future ahead of him. And Peter was a coward. Peter couldn't die; he just couldn't.

And... well, the only way that James and Sirius were going to stop trying the Animagus thing was if Remus stopped existing, somehow.

The more Peter thought about it, the easier he thought it would be to get Remus out of Hogwarts. He'd already left once, hadn't he? All Peter had to do was make him feel guilty about being here, and he'd probably leave again. It was cruel. It was nasty. But it was all for the best, wasn't it? It was the option that would save the most lives, and Peter believed that one life lost was better than three lives lost. Who could argue with that moral logic?

So when James asked Peter to go visit Remus (because Peter wasn't much help with the research to begin with), Peter did so happily. This was his chance: he could convince Remus to go home, and then Peter wouldn't have to do this crazy Animagus stuff. Peter would be alive. And, besides, Peter would have James and Sirius all to himself.

Guilt rose up inside Peter's chest, but he ignored it.

"Hello, Poppy! I'm here to see Remus."

"Don't call me Poppy, Mr. Pettigrew. Go on in, then. He should be awake."

Remus had been doing equations while listening to an Adamson record, but he put both away at the familiar cadence of Peter's voice. "Peter!" he said excitedly as Peter Pettigrew wandered into Madam Pomfrey's office, carrying a fresh plate of brownies.

"Moony! Prongs insisted I bring these to you. Said you liked this sort in particular."

"Yeah, I do," said Remus, utterly touched that James had noticed. "Where is he? Prongs, I mean."

"Working on that project with Padfoot. He can't come today; says he's too busy. But I'm here!"

"Oh," said Remus. "He said he'd be here."

"He's really sorry. He's busy."

Remus shrugged. "That's all… that's all right, I guess." He brightened and smiled at Peter. "Did you know that Professor Dumbledore is going to help me with my project?"

"That's cool!"

"I know! I'm so excited!"

"And… how are you feeling?"

"Fine. I'm okay. Leg's a little wonky, but I'll live."

"Oh," said Peter. He sat on the side of Remus' bed and pulled his legs up, folding them beneath him. "Remus, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Shoot."

"Do you ever think that maybe you shouldn't be here?"

All the breath left Remus' body in one fell swoop. "What?"

"I mean… at Hogwarts. Don't you ever think that maybe it was a mistake? That you shouldn't have come? I mean… I don't think so, of course, but do you?"

"I…." Remus blinked rapidly, taken aback by Peter's question. "Er, yeah. All the time. I worry about a lot of things; you know that."

"So is it dangerous?" Peter asked anxiously. "I always see you get self-deprecating and things, but I never know whether you actually think that or whether you're… just being Remus. Is it dangerous? Are we in danger?"

"Erm… no, I don't think so," said Remus, but now he was worrying. "I mean… something could always go wrong, though, so sometimes I worry. There's a lot at stake."

"Sometimes I worry, too," said Peter quietly. "You always talk about how dangerous you are and how you shouldn't have come to Hogwarts, and sometimes I believe you."

"Oh," said Remus. "Er. No. You don't have to worry, so long as you're careful."

"But what are the dangers? What could go wrong? Why do I need to be careful, and what can I do to stay safe?" Peter's face was bright red. "I'm so sorry, Moony; everyone told me that you wouldn't want to talk about it, and that it was rude to ask… and I know it seems like I don't trust you when I ask this sort of thing, but…"

"It's fine, Wormtail. I'll answer, if you'll just give me a second to collect my thoughts." Remus' cheeks were burning, too. This was so embarrassing. He hated being viewed as a monster, especially by his best mate. It was fair, of course, for him to be asking these sorts of questions—and to be quite honest, Remus was touched and thankful that Peter trusted him enough to go to him with his concerns. But it was still embarrassing—thus, a potpourri of conflicting emotions swirled in Remus' chest, and it was enough to make him nauseous.

"I'm not scared of you, I promise," said Peter.

"I know. It's fine if you are, even. Just… just give me a second."

It seemed like hours before Remus finally worked up the courage to answer Peter, even though it was probably only thirty seconds. "I'm not dangerous right now," he said, "and I'm not dangerous when I'm at Hogwarts at all. Ever. But I am dangerous on the full moon, and I would—"

"Wait," said Peter. "You've been… you know. Getting angry. Recently. Prongs says it's the lycanthropy. I don't think it's that bad, honestly—you're a lot less angry than Padfoot is—but you seem to be concerned about it. So… are you dangerous when it's not a full moon, or were you just exaggerating?"

"Oh, ah… hm. I have some temper problems. And it's only gotten worse with… I mean, I'm more emotionally turbulent now that Questus and the town and all that… happened. But I'd never go as far as to hurt you, I promise. Except on the full moon. Erm… on the full moon, I'd kill you."

"You would? Like, one-hundred-percent?"

"I might bite you and you'd live, I s'pose, but I think I'd kill you."

"How do you know?"

"Because…" Remus' cheeks burned hotter. "Because I've never had… a meal before. Not on the full moon. I'd get carried away, I think."

"Oh."

"Yeah. But as long as I stay away from people, I'm fine."

"Then why do you say that you're dangerous? That people have a right to be afraid of you? That maybe you shouldn't have come to Hogwarts? That anything could happen?"

"Because… because if someone wanders near me on the full moon, I don't have any self-control. Think about it, Peter. You always know what you're doing—always. You make mistakes sometimes, but it's always you. On the full moon, though, it's not me… and it's like giving your body and your choices to another person whom you don't trust, isn't it? I don't have control, so I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop it if someone wanders near me… or if there's a freak accident and I escape… or if…." Remus was sort of hyperventilating now. "Maybe I should go home," he whispered.

"You won't escape," said Peter firmly. "It sounds to me like there's no actual danger. It sounds to me like you're being over-anxious, like Prongs said you were. I just wanted to make sure."

"That's fair," said Remus.

"And we're gonna help," said Peter firmly.

"You can't. Please don't."

"We are," Peter insisted, and, before Remus could work out what Peter had meant, he and Peter were playing a card game and listening to one of Madam Pomfrey's records (it was peppy instrumental music, not an Adamson speech).

Peter couldn't do it.

He liked Remus too much. Remus was his best friend. And, the more he thought about it, the less Remus deserved this.

Peter could risk his life for Remus, couldn't he?

He felt as if he'd changed his mind and then changed his mind back about a million times, but now his mind was made up. Probably.

Peter Pettigrew was going to become an Animagus, and Remus Lupin was staying at Hogwarts. Peter would make sure of this—come danger, come pain, come death—and nothing was ever going to get in his way.