Remus finished eating his supper extraordinarily quickly the next day. "May I be excused?" he asked his mother, pushing his plate away unceremoniously.

"Mind your manners," she chided, "but yes."

"Thanks. I'm going to sleep."

"Sleep?" asked Remus' father, wrinkling his nose. "Remus, it's six-thirty. It's too early to go to sleep."

"It's been a long couple of days. I need to catch up on some rest."

"If you're certain," said Remus' mother. "I do want to talk about tomorrow first, though—your father and I both have to go back to work, so we're going to take you to Madam Pomfrey's house…"

"Yeah, that's fine," interrupted Remus. "May I go now? I'm very tired."

His mother gave him a concerned look, and then she sighed. "Yes, love. Go ahead."

"Thanks." With that, Remus leapt out of his chair and headed directly for his bedroom, where he shut the door behind him and prepared to go visit the Founders.

He'd been waiting to do this for what seemed like forever. His parents had been all over him the day Ragfarn had visited, breathing down Remus' neck as if leaving him alone would cause him to spontaneously combust. They'd gotten back late from the Werewolf Registry, and Remus' mother had insisted they all sleep in the sitting room (she'd been paranoid recently). Remus hadn't had any uninterrupted time in ages, and he was dying to talk to Rowena.

He knocked on the wall with his wand seven times, and the very next instant, he was standing in the painted version of Hogwarts. "Rowena?" he called, and she was by his side in an instant.

"I was wondering when you'd visit again," she said with a smile. "How are you doing, Remus?"

"Fine. Well, not fine. Frankly, I'm terrified, scared, and very anxious. Are those all the same thing?"

"I'm not very well-versed in modern English, I'm afraid. I believe they are similar."

"Okay. Anyway—oh, Rowena, I feel ill. I've been feeling ill for ages. I wish I could run away from it all, but there's nowhere to go because I can't escape anything—there's no escape, because my life is just suffering and nothing else. Right?"

Rowena frowned. "Remus, what's wrong?"

"My friends are trying to become Animagi. That's why they needed the Mandrake leaves! It all makes sense now, because in order to become an Animagus, one has to hold Mandrake leaves in one's mouth… but it's so incredibly dangerous and difficult to become an Animagus, and they're going to die, and it'll be my fault, Rowena, and I can't bear it…"

She patted his back, still frowning. There was worry in her eyes. "I think you need to sit down," she said.

She led him to a bench in the courtyard (it wasn't cold outside—due to the nature of the painting, it was oddly room-temperature with no breeze or fresh air whatsoever). Remus kept babbling as they walked. "And I thought we were going to be the best of friends now that they know what I am, and I thought I was going to be able to talk to them about anything, and it really was like that for a while, but now they're all busy and I'm busy too, and they were working on this project, and it turns out it's for me… but I don't want it and I can't tell them!"

"Remus…"

"I've had a really hard week. A really hard year. A really hard life. I'm so sick of everything and I just want things to be simple, but things are never simple, and I'm sick of it! And…" Remus was crying now. He was totally embarrassed to be doing so in front of a Hogwarts Founder, but he honestly couldn't help it. "Fiddlesticks," he muttered. "I like you and all, but I really, really wish I could hear Professor Questus' thoughts on all of this. I know he'd be annoyed that I'm getting so worked up over this—the Dark Arts wait for no one and all that—but I miss him so, so much."

"I see," she said, even though she still looked horribly confused.

And then they sat there—Remus was crying silently and hiding his face in his hands, Rowena was awkwardly patting his leg, and nothing was right with the world.

Finally, he stopped. He rubbed his eyes with his left hand, sighed, and said, "Sorry. I'm afraid I've been bottling that up for a very long time. I feel better now."

"Good," she said. "Now why don't you start from the beginning? I'm very confused, and I don't particularly like being confused. Understanding things is more or less my one defining trait."

He chuckled in a watery sort of way. "Yeah, okay. When I was in first year, I had to come up with a multitude of excuses for my friends. I had to leave every single full moon, and of course they were bound to wonder—we shared a dormitory, so there was no way they wouldn't notice."

"I see."

"I told them that my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to take care of her. My friends are clever, of course, and they put the dots together and came to the conclusion that my mother was a werewolf, not me. I disappeared on the full moon, and I came back with scratches and bruises… they thought I was keeping my mother under control on the full moon."

"They didn't know how dangerous that would be?"

"They did their research, and they figured I was an Animagus. They found out that werewolves only hunt humans, so they knew I'd have to be some sort of animal to keep her company."

Rowena's mouth fell open slightly as she realized what Remus was getting at. "They're very clever," she said.

"Yeah."

"So now that they know that you're the werewolf, they've translated that theory into an idea. They're planning on becoming Animagi to keep you under control."

"I guess. I don't know how that would work. What would they do, meow at me? Well, I guess not, since Animagus forms typically match Patronus forms, excluding trauma… wait. Oh, no."

"Yes?"

"That was why they wanted to learn how to do Patronuses! They wanted to see what animal they'd be! Oh, fiddlesticks… they've been considering and researching this since last year!" Remus groaned. "I feel bad about letting them down, because I know they're only trying to help, but… this is so dangerous! I can't let them do it."

"Tell them how you feel," suggested Rowena.

Remus frowned. "No, that'll never work. They're stubborn. They'll do it anyway, and then they'll say something that makes me feel all guilty and nervous—after that, I'll let them do it. I can't let myself… let them do it, you know? I can't risk that."

"Communication is often the best way to resolve issues, Remus."

"Maybe amongst people like you. You're logical. People like you, me, Professor Questus, and Professor Dumbledore… we all like to talk things through. My friends don't. Communication definitely doesn't work with James, Sirius, and Peter. They're much cleverer than I am, but they generally value reason less, I think."

"Then what are you planning on doing?"

Remus frowned again, tapping his chin in thought. "Hm… I have an idea, I think. But I'm going to need your help." Then, slowly, he grinned. "They're about to have second thoughts about going up against a Marauder."

"Full moon's coming up," said James, poking his tongue around the leaf in his mouth. "Ah, hold on. I have to go reattach my leaf. It's sliding around a bit."

He ran into the lavatory, leaned in front of the mirror, opened his mouth, and whispered the incantation to the Sticking Charm. It was a bit hard to get his tongue around the words while holding the leaf to the roof of his mouth and pointing his wand at it, but he managed admirably. He'd been doing this every day for weeks.

He ran back into the dormitory and ran a hand through his hair, leaf firmly attached to his mouth once again. "Anyway," he continued, "full moon's coming up. Know what that means, lads?"

"We're going to stay up all night?" grouched Peter. Recently, the three of them had been trying to stay up all night during the full moon—partially out of solidarity for Remus, partially as practice for keeping him company all night, but mostly because they just wanted an excuse to stay up and fool around. Remus had noticed the first time, but they hadn't visited him after full moons recently (they had used the time to work on becoming Animagi instead), so he hadn't noticed again. Besides, now they were pretty good at it.

"Well, yes," said James. "But my point is: it's been a month since we put those stupid leaves in our mouths, so now we finally get to take them out."

"Where do we put them again?" asked Peter.

"Do keep up, Wormtail. We put them in a small crystal phial that receives the pure rays of the moon. Then we'll regrow the leaf to its normal size and add one of our own hairs."

"Prongs and I nicked a few phials from the Potions storeroom a few nights ago while you were sleeping," Sirius told Peter.

"And since it has to 'reflect the rays of the moon', at least for a couple of moments, we've got to store it outdoors," said James. "We'll sneak out to the Forbidden Forest and pop the phials in a clearing. Somewhere where no one will find them. I'm learning a few charms to keep them protected and hidden... and then, once they've reflected the moon for a bit, we'll bring them back in here."

"I can't wait to get this stupid leaf out of my mouth," groaned Sirius. "It's horribly annoying."

Peter frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "But there's going to be an attack on the day of the full moon," he said.

"We don't know that. There might not be."

"Prongs," begged Peter. "There will be Aurors everywhere. We'll get caught."

James waved a dismissive hand and grinned. "We won't get caught. We're Marauders. I can't believe our luck—Moony's gone for the whole month, and I doubt he'll be well enough to come back directly after February sixth. We even have extra time to get started on the next step!"

"Which we still haven't figured out how to do," grumbled Sirius. "We skipped planning that step, remember?"

"We'll figure it out. We're the Marauders. We can figure anything out." James rubbed his hands together, unfathomably excited. "And soon, we'll be running around the Shrieking Shack with Moony, and he'll be well enough after the full moon to go to class with us, and we'll have such fun as animals!"

Peter's mouth tightened. "You're sure it'll be soon?"

"But of course, Wormtail, friend of mine! We've only got a couple of steps left to go, after all. You know what I think? I think that…"

But the Marauders never got to find out what James thought, because a rapping noise immediately emerged from the window that caused James to run over, kneel on Remus' bed, and throw open the window with joy. "I wonder what it could be!" he said jovially.

It was Bluebottle, James' owl. James let him fly in and land on James' shoulder, nipping at his ear affectionately. "What do you have for me?" James asked.

Bluebottle proffered a small bottle, and James took it from his claws with curiosity. "Well, this is odd," said James, and then he opened the bottle.

A puff of sparkles flew out, flying around the room wildly. The Marauders immediately started choking, and James tried to shove the stopper in the bottle again—but he couldn't, because there were sparkles in his eyes and his nose and his mouth, and they were all over the room—there was no escaping them….

When the sparkles dissipated, James stuffed the stopper back into the bottle and chucked it across the room. It landed in his trunk, and then Sirius covered the offending item with James' dirty Quidditch robes. "That'll be sure to kill it," said Sirius. "Those robes of yours stink, Prongs."

The aforementioned Prongs gave Sirius a very dirty look. "What could that have been?" he said, still coughing weakly. "And who would do that to us?"

"Not sure," said Sirius. "Snivellus, perhaps? I think he's still trying to get us back for hexing him yesterday."

"Maybe we shouldn't have done that," said Peter, "but—"

"But the look on his face as he realized his fingernails were flower petals was so funny," concluded James. "Okay, fine. So maybe it was Snivellus. But I think he would have done something a bit more lasting… a bit more humiliating. A bit more public. Maybe he's watching and taking photos or something?"

They went still and listened.

"We know you're there, Snivvy," said Sirius.

Nothing happened.

"Remus would be able to tell us if Snape were here," grumbled Sirius. "But I don't think he is. He'd be laughing at us or hexing us from the corners. Those sparkles had to have done something else besides plain humiliation."

James' sinuses had now cleared from the sparkles' vicious assault, and he noticed something terrible. "Er… we have a problem," he said.

He ran to the lavatory and checked. Sure enough, he was right.

Then he ran back—judging by Sirius and Peter's horrified expressions, they'd realized the same thing.

"Whatever those sparkles were, they dissolved our Mandrake leaves," James whispered… and then he punched a wall.

A couple of hours earlier, Remus had been sitting in Fake-Hogwarts with Rowena. "You're sure this will work?" he asked.

"Absolutely certain. This potion is designed to dissolve all flora in the area," said Rowena. "It's typically used for clearing large plots of land. Is there any plant life in the dormitory you wouldn't want to destroy?"

"No. I have a houseplant I'm rather fond of—its name is Edward—but it's safe with me at home. I hope that potion can get rid of some of the mold in the showers. Pretty sure there's mold on James' Quidditch robes, too."

"I would recommend adding an Exploding Charm to the bottle. When it's opened, the contents will explode all over the dormitory, finding everything in sight. They tend to linger and float, like dust particles, so any plant in the dormitory within the next forty-eight hours will be eliminated."

"That's perfect," said Remus. "And it won't hurt them? It's okay to inhale it?"

"Perfectly okay. It might make them cough a bit, but it's safe for human consumption. It's often used in St. Mungo's to get rid of traces of poisonous plants after people accidentally ingest them."

"Perfect," said Remus again. "Where will I get the ingredients?"

"Right here, of course."

"But isn't everything here made of magic paint?"

"Key word being 'magic'. Things here often retain their magical properties, even if they aren't necessarily 'real'. Any potion in here should work in the outside world as well. So..." Rowena rubbed her hands together, a mildly evil expression spreading across her face. Remus laughed. "I haven't done anything secretive in so long," she chuckled. "Anyway… let's get to brewing!"

"Snape must have seen those books in our dormitory," said a furious James. "Didn't you notice how they weren't in exactly the same place as I'd left them?"

"I thought you'd just picked them up again for a bit of light reading," said Sirius. "You've been reading through those books again and again for ages, mate."

"But I didn't! I haven't touched them! But someone moved them a couple of inches over… you're sure neither of you touched them?"

"Positive. I'm sick of those books."

"They disappeared from the dormitory for a bit," said Peter. "I was looking through Prongs' trunk, and they weren't there."

"Why were you looking in my trunk?!"

"You usually have extra sweets."

"Never mind that," said Sirius. "Why didn't you tell us they were missing?! You utter idiot! That's important information!"

"Because I thought James had them! They were back that evening when I looked again…."

"You're sure you didn't move them, then? Maybe you just didn't see them the first time."

"I don't know!"

James held up a hand. "Shut up," he said. "Snape had to have taken them, because someone knows that we're trying to become Animagi… and it has to be Snape, because who else would try to sabotage us like that? No, he has this information, and he's going to hold it over our heads!"

Sirius groaned. "Maybe we should just give up, mate."

"No! We have to become Animagi. Moony needs us—and, more importantly, we have to outsmart Snape!"

"Fine. We'll try again," said Sirius with a nonchalant roll of his eyes. "The stash is hidden in my trunk."

"Great." James reached for the stash, but his hands found nothing. "Nothing's there," he said.

They ripped open the trunk and searched fervently. Sure enough, it was all gone.

"Well, fiddlesticks," Peter finally said.

Remus opened the notebook, picked up a quill, summoned all his courage, and wrote, How is that potion of yours going?

What potion? wrote Sirius.

You know. The potion to help me on full moons. The one that I thoroughly disapprove of.

There was silence for a while, and then James said, It's going great, Moony. We'll figure it out. Everything's going to be just fine.

Remus smiled. Judging by James' hesitation, Rowena's Mandrake-destroying potion had worked perfectly.

"I reckon we have to find a way to get revenge on Snape, then," said Sirius that evening while James paced, disgruntled and quite furious about having to start the process all over. They'd been so close.

"Obviously," snarled James. "I can't believe he's trying to stop us from helping Moony like that."

Peter frowned. "To be fair, mate, he doesn't know about Moony…."

"Do I look like I care? Whoever did this obviously doesn't care about Moony one bit, and we need to get revenge on whoever did this, and the whoever in this case is Snivellus Snape. That's all I need to know!"

"But he doesn't know. He's not hurting Moony on purpose."

"So? We don't need him to know! We just need to stop him! Little kids get punished for running out on the street, even if they can't comprehend the danger of cars. We know better than he does, so we need to stop him from doing it again."

"And how do we plan to do that?" asked Sirius.

James frowned. Sat down. Stared at the ceiling for a moment.

Then he jumped up. "I have an idea," he said.

Severus Snape woke up the next morning and yawned.

Today was going to be a good day. He had double Potions, which was his favorite class. He and Lily Evans were going to study together after school. He'd gotten a letter from his mum the day before, and she'd even said that she missed him (she didn't say that very often).

Yes, today was going to be a very good day. Severus was often a pessimistic person, but he had a good feeling about today.

He opened his eyes, noticed a giant skunk standing in his room, pawing at the ground and snorting. Severus cried out, and then he heard a telltale click of a camera. When he finally managed to get out of his dormitory and down to the Great Hall, the photographs had already been dispersed among his peers—and, no matter how much he showered, he couldn't get the stench of skunk out of his robes. It was so utterly humiliating that he wanted to cry, and he ended up cancelling on Lily (despite her protests that she didn't care).

Today was going to be a very bad day, and optimism was overrated.

AN: I have some excellent news: after months of attempting to replenish my chapter backlog, I officially feel completely comfortable posting two chapters a week again. Wednesday and Sunday evenings EST/EDT, and I'll let you all know if that changes... so you all can check back Sunday evening/Monday morning for another chapter!

Thanks for your patience! I care a LOT about being logical and consistent in my world/character-building, and I also care a lot about adhering to a predictable and semi-consistent posting schedule. In order to keep this mammoth of a story well-edited (mostly), I always feel a little icky if I don't have at least 115 future chapters prewritten. I'm at 141 now (7 chaps into fifth year!) so I should be good for a while :D Fourth year's finished, and I'm still riding out the high! Fourth year is going to be wild, ladies and gentlemen—I know taking this break was good for my creative juices, and I'm so excited to share it with you (in approximately 21 weeks, of course).