"I know it was Snape," fumed James. "I just know it."

Remus was sitting on the floor, resting his bad leg on a pillow and patting Bufo's head. James had been ranting about how annoyed he was about the leaves for ages. "What do you mean?" asked Remus.

"Snape. Snivellus Snape. Stupid, greasy Snivellus Snape stole our leaves." James scowled and lobbed a pillow at the wall. "I hate him!"

"Woah. You still think it was Snape?"

"Well, of course I think it was Snape!"

"But he can't even get into our dormitory! You booby-trapped it, remember? Only the four of us can enter."

"He must have removed the charm! I don't know, Moony—all I know is that it was definitely Snape. Who else would do it?"

"I'm… not sure," said Remus. He felt a bit guilty, pinning the blame on Snape, but there was nothing he could do about it. Better Snape than himself, after all. "How d'you think he got into the container? He doesn't have your fingerprints."

"I don't know that, either! What do I look like, a Seer? I'm sure he came up with some sort of spell and broke in, that sneaky, evil, awful git! Is nothing safe anymore?!"

"You know," said Remus, an idea forming in his head, "I read somewhere that Mandrake leaves disappear if the owner isn't worthy."

James paused. "I've never heard that."

"Well, it was just a rumor—the book made it very clear that it had never been proven—but perhaps it carries some weight."

James stared at the wall with a sour expression for a moment, evidently thinking. Then he shook his head and kicked the wall with all his might (and, being a Beater, that was quite a lot of might). "No. We're definitely worthy. Why would anyone think we're not?"

"Perhaps it's because we hexed and humiliated Snape the other day," chuckled Sirius.

"What?" Remus whirled around to face him. "When was this? What happened? What did you do?"

"I just told you. Don't you pay any attention? We hexed and humiliated Snape the other day."

"Why?!"

"After he messed with our Mandrake leaves the first time, of course. Had to be done. We needed to teach him a lesson."

Remus paused, horrible guilt and panic welling up in his stomach. "I swore to Dumbledore that you weren't bullies," he said.

James snorted. "Number one: why did you do that? Seems weird that would come up over tea. Number two: we're not bullies. It's not bullying, it's self-defense."

"Please don't hurt Snape."

"We didn't hurt him. We glued his arm to the wall, and I popped him on the nose a bit—"

"You… punched him?!"

"What? No. It was barely a punch."

"James..."

"Doesn't matter, anyhow. My point is, even though we hexed and humiliated and sort-of-punched Snape, we're still totally worthy of the Mandrake leaves, right? Because we're using them to do something good, and that's all that matters. Right?"

Remus didn't respond. He was too busy thinking of the Shoulds.

He Should stop his friends from hexing Snape, and he Should tell them who really stole the leaves. He Should tell Professor Dumbledore or something, and he Should probably talk to Snape and make sure that there was no animosity, and he Should tell an adult that his friends were planning on becoming Animagi. He Should, overall, at least tell his friends that he did not approve of their incessant bullying of Severus Snape, because he really did wish they would stop.

But wishes weren't fishes, Shoulds were not Woulds, and Remus was not his friends' parent. He was a normal kid, just like them, and normal kids didn't tell their friends off for bullying a student who wasn't all that pleasant to begin with. Remus so desperately wanted to be a normal kid.

This was the second time that Remus had been presented with this dilemma: pin it on Snape or confess? And, just like last time, he chose the former rather than the latter.

James and Sirius kept ranting about Snape's "utter disregard for privacy", "lack of basic human decency" (that one hurt), "sneaking, evil tendencies", among other things that Remus didn't really appreciate being called (even though his friends did not know who, exactly, they were insulting), and Remus kept quiet.

It was a necessary evil, and after being cursed, Remus' life was really nothing but necessary, unavoidable evils... so what was one more?

James was still fuming at breakfast the next morning. "I hate that greasy git," he spat, and some saliva landed in his goblet of pumpkin juice. "We're trying to do something for you, Remus—making a potion that will alleviate the symptoms, you know—and it's gonna be huge and it's just for you. And Snape hates you, I guess, because he keeps sabotaging us. The longer it takes, the longer you have to suffer, and—"

"Woah," said Remus, alarmed. "That's why you're so angry? It probably won't even work, Prongs. And I wouldn't mind that at all, because you're helping anyway."

"Well, of course, but I'm not helping enough. I know there's something more I can do… but I can't do it because of stupid Snivellus Snape."

"No, you're helping. All three of you are, I swear. I'd never ask for anything more than you're already doing."

There was a brief pause, and then Peter asked, "What are we doing, exactly?"

"You're my friends, of course. You're keeping me company before and after full moons, you're catching me up on classes that I miss, you're writing to me when I'm poorly, Prongs is spending early mornings in the common room with me and fetching me tea when I can stomach it, Wormtail's taking notes for me in class, Padfoot's visiting me after full moons even though he doesn't much like blood—"

"Does anyone 'much like blood'?" Sirius grumbled.

Remus grinned. "Well, yeah. Me, on the full moon." Sirius let out a bit of a surprised laugh at Remus' morbid joke, which gave Remus a small puff of pride. "My point is," he continued, "I'm a lot happier with you three around, even if it's not a direct cure. You're helping loads. In fact, I would prefer you didn't work on this project of yours. Then you could… well, I don't know. I don't want you to feel obligated to anything, but I'd prefer it if you spent time in the Hospital Wing with me rather than worked on this project… I mean, when you have free moments."

Remus had claimed that he didn't want them to feel obligated, but he absolutely did. The more time they were spending with him in the Hospital Wing, the less time they were spending trying to become Animagi. He held his breath, hoping they'd agree….

But they didn't. James merely patted Remus' shoulder and smiled. "This is gonna help loads more, I promise," he said. "Well, if stupid Snivellus doesn't steal our leaves again, that is."

Remus sighed and went back to eating his eggs. He was going to have to try yet another tactic to thwart the Animagus project.

The Marauders talked about more mundane things for a while (though James still had a murderous look in his eyes). About fifteen minutes later, Lily Evans walked up to them, a determined look in her eye.

"Evans," said James with a grin, taking a one-eighty in his seat to face her properly. "Lovely to see you! Here to… I dunno, break into our dormitory uninvited?"

"I have no interest in doing what you did to Severus," she said coldly.

Remus frowned. "You broke into his dormitory, James?"

"No," said James with a cheeky smile, "because we didn't break anything. Except for a dozen school rules, of course."

"Yeah, and we were only evening the score," added Sirius.

Evans did not look amused. "You were not evening the score," she said, "because there was no score to even. Sev hasn't done anything to you!"

"He sent his friend to tell us off, and that's annoying enough."

"Shut up, Black! And, for your information, he didn't send me, and I'm not even here to tell you off—that's just an added bonus. I came to talk to Lupin."

"Ooooh, Moony!" howled Sirius. "I think you've got a girlfriend!"

"I don't—" Remus went bright red, and so did Evans. "You prat. Evans and I aren't even friends."

"Exactly," said Evans. Her face was nearly as red as her hair. "I've been sent to fetch him by Leek."

"Why were you with Leek so early in the morning?" asked Sirius. "Or could it be… another forbidden romance?"

Evans shrieked. "You absolute idiot, Sirius Black! No! I was just with him to ask some questions about the project, and he told me to go get Lupin! I hate you!"

"Everyone hates him," said James, "even his friends, sometimes."

Then Sirius and James were wrestling in a good-natured sort of way, which escalated to a little bit of a food fight, which escalated to a lot of a food fight, and Remus began walking out of the Great Hall as quickly as possible. At this point, his friends were on their own.

Professor Leek was waiting at the door, brown hair mussed and eyes bright. "Remus! Come in. Do you want some more tea?"

"No, sir. Why did you want to see me?"

"I just wanted to ask a brief question about your project. Very, very brief, of course. I wouldn't want you to be late to your first class." He gave a sort of awkward chuckle that died out as quickly as it had begun. "You made a list of the factors you thought might contribute to your symptoms and the time you transform. Are we only considering weather and stress?"

Remus ran through his mental list of variables. "Yes. I think so. Did I miss something?"

"Well, magic is a tricky thing. Technically, there are infinite factors that one must consider in the case of something like this. We know it's the moon that makes you transform, yes, but it could be absolutely anything that contributes to the severity. It could be how much you read the day before. It could be carbon emissions. It could be exactly the position in which you wait… it could be how many steps you walked the day before… for all we know, it could be a specific man on the other side of the world who controls everything. Why, may I ask, are you only considering weather and stress levels?"

"Erm. Well… I mean, it seemed the most likely… will it still work? It just seemed like the most likely causes! And we can't possibly measure every single factor!"

"You're right, you're right. They do indeed seem like the most likely, and that's what I suspected the answer would be. It's how I would do the experiment, at least... but you should be aware that it might not work at all. It's certainly a... what's the phrase? A long shot, I guess."

"Professor Dumbledore thinks it'll work."

"Yes, and he is extremely intelligent. But magic is so fickle—so random—that it might not. But! I don't mean to scare you, I was only wondering. We'll try our best, yes? And if it doesn't work, I'll still give you full credit as long as your reasoning is correct."

"Thanks." Remus was beginning to feel a bit discouraged. "Good to know, Professor. Thank you."

"No problem. Erm... you may go back to breakfast now. I just felt I had to warn you. I'm still working through your notebook, by the way, and I'll let you know when I'm done. It's very well done so far."

"Thank you, sir."

Professor Leek laughed. "You look so nervous! Don't be nervous. Even if it doesn't work, it's a wonderful learning experience. Try not to worry too much."

Remus tried, but he still worried. He didn't think he could bear more disappointment.

When he returned to the Great Hall, his friends weren't there.

Snape and Evans, however, were.

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked, and then he realized that he'd sounded very rude. "I mean… can I help you?"

"No, you can't," snapped Snape. "We were looking for your friends, but they seem to have disappeared."

"Why were you looking for my friends?"

Evans scowled. "Someone threw jam at Sev, and I just know it was them."

"Oh, er… well, I don't know where they went. I only just got back from talking with Professor Leek. I can talk to them about it if you'd like."

"You've said that before," Evans scoffed, "but you never have."

"Oh… I'm sorry, it's just…."

"Save it, Lupin. You're a good person. I like you. But if I want this done right, I'm going to have to do it myself…."

"Telling them off isn't going to make them stop."

"How do you know? Have you ever tried?"

"No… I mean, kind of. No, I haven't. But you have."

"And I'm going to try again! This is unacceptable!"

"It's just jam," said Remus. Both Evans and Snape gave him death glares, and he cowered.

Just then, Remus' friends came bounding back into the Great Hall. "Remus!" James cried. "There you are! We went down to Professor Leek's room to make sure you were okay, but you weren't there, and then we got a bit sidetracked—" James noticed Snape and scowled. "Snivellus," he said coldly. "What are you doing at our table?"

"You threw jam at him," Evans said loudly.

"No, I didn't. I was looking for Remus."

"You've been gone for ages, and Remus didn't even run into you on the way back here! You didn't just pop by Leek's classroom and come back! You had time to do both!"

"No, I didn't. I also got sidetracked."

"Doing what?!"

James gave her a noncommittal shrug. "Oh, things."

"James Potter! You tell me what you were doing right this instant!"

"I don't think I will, thanks."

"Argh! This is pointless! You're impossible!" Evans gave him one final death glare, and then she flounced away, pulling Snape behind her. He let her drag him off, staring James down the entire time.

"Well," said James once they had finally gone, "that was fun. Finish your breakfast, Remus. We need to get to class."

Remus hesitantly took a sip of his pumpkin juice. "Why were you looking for me?" he asked. "I was fine."

"I don't trust Louis one bit."

Remus chose not to comment on that; he knew that proclaiming his ambivalence toward Professor Leek would not change James' mind. "How do you already know his first name?" he asked instead.

"We asked him just now, and he told us," said Sirius.

"So you were looking for me? Did you really throw jam at Snape? And what were you doing that took you so long?"

"We were really looking for you," affirmed Peter.

"We didn't throw jam at Snivvy, believe it or not," said Sirius. "Everyone seems to enjoy making fun of him, especially since they know Prongs doesn't like him."

"I'm very popular," said James with a cheeky grin. "But yeah. I'm sure it was another student."

"I wish we had thought of it, though," said Peter: Sirius gave him a high-five, and Peter beamed so brightly that Remus' eyes hurt. His head hurt a little, too. And his heart.

"And, to answer your third question… we were collecting some more Mandrake leaves," said James in a soft whisper. "Snuck into the Potions classroom and grabbed a few. We only went to find Louis after we did that."

"Oh," said Remus. "All right."

"We'll have to figure out a new method of securing them after classes. And talking of classes… let's go!"

Remus downed the last of his pumpkin juice, and then he followed his friends to Care of Magical Creatures, worrying all the while.

They had Potions that afternoon. Professor Slughorn had asked them to brew a Height Potion, and Remus was trying his best to focus amid his friends' persistent brainstorming.

"We need more booby traps," said Sirius.

"And a more secure way to hold the leaves."

"And constant surveillance."

"Could you charm your camera to take photographs every half-minute or so? We could use that to see how Snape's getting in."

"Yeah, and maybe we could make Moony hex the container we're keeping the leaves in. He did that to his trunk in first year, remember?"

Remus was silent as he listened. Sabotaging his friends' efforts was about to get a lot more complicated.

"You think it's a good idea to include Moony in the project?" said Sirius quietly, and Remus' heart skipped a beat.

"He's been feeling left-out, I think," said James. "Even though he doesn't know all the details, we should let him help out as much as possible. Between the stupid Ministry, the threats, what happened last summer, full moons, and his busy schedule… I feel bad that we're not spending as much time with him as we used to."

"He can hear you," said Peter.

Remus looked up at his friends, who were staring at him, wide-eyed. "I can hear you, obviously," he confirmed. "I'm literally right here."

"Yeah, but… er. We thought you weren't listening."

Remus sighed. "It's fine. I already suspected that's what you were doing—trying to include me and all that. You didn't really need my help with the… er, Mandrake-stealing."

"We really like having you around," said James. "That's part of it, too, of course."

"Please don't get all self-pitying," added Sirius.

"I won't," said Remus, and he had absolutely no intention of doing so. His Sabotage Plan depended on his friends including him, even if it was because they pitied him. "I like being included."

"If you're sure," said James, visibly relaxing.

Remus smiled. "I think our potion is finished, Wormtail. Want to test it?"

"No," said Peter. "I did it last time."

Remus shrugged. "Have it your way." He dipped the goblet into the potion and took a hesitant sip… but instead of growing an inch, like he was supposed to, a leaf sprouted from the top of his head.

"You didn't crush the beetles well enough," said Professor Slughorn. "That can cause spontaneous leaf-sprouting. Try again!"

Remus groaned and returned to the potion. It seemed as if nothing was working out to his favor today.

Remus supposed James was trying to make up for what they'd said behind Remus' back, because that evening, James snuck out to the Kitchens instead of using the extra few minutes of free time to practice for the upcoming Quidditch game.

"Brought you some tea that you can drink over schoolwork," James sang, plopping a fresh mug of tea next to Remus. "Working on Ancient Runes, are we?"

"Yeah. I missed a lot. Professor Finley tried to catch me up, but I still have some memorizing to do."

"Here, I'll help," offered James. He sat next to Remus and plucked his notes from his hand. "Hmm… what's the opposite of cahniz?"

"Fehliz," Remus responded tiredly. "Prongs. You needn't."

"Needn't do what?"

"Help me. You just pity me."

"I don't pity you. I just like being a nice person sometimes. Is that really so hard to believe?"

"You keep mothering me. I don't need you to mother me. I don't want any extra help and special accommodations. Just go have fun with your friends, please."

James bristled. "I am having fun with my friend," he insisted. "Helping you do schoolwork makes me feel clever, and you know how much I love to feel clever."

"Prongs."

"Moony."

"Prongs."

"Moony!"

Just then, Peter walked into the dormitory, holding a mug of tea. He handed it to Remus. "Moony," he said, face flushed, "I snuck into the Kitchens—all by myself—and got you some tea. You've been looking stressed recently, and I thought it might help…."

Remus buried his face in his hands and groaned.

Sirius entered the dormitory. "Moony," he said. "I stole a piece of toast from the Slytherins. Here, catch."

A piece of bread came flying toward Remus, and he did not catch it. It bounced off his wrist—his face was still firmly planted in his palms—and landed on the floor.

"Oh, well," said Sirius nonchalantly. "Our floor is clean enough. It's still good."

"I'm not a cripple," said Remus, voice muffled, "and you're not my maids. I appreciate it. I really do. But please stop smothering me. I just want to be a normal teenager, okay?"

"Fine, mate," said James, holding up his hands in surrender. "Want to be alone?"

"Yeah, actually. I would."

"All right, then. We're leaving. Sheesh."

Remus' friends left, and Remus returned to his homework.

Seven minutes later, he drank both mugs of tea and ate the toast.

Sirius had been right: it really was still good.

AN: Not a ton happened in this chapter, but the next chapter is going to be insane.