"Ya know, in Catholicism, if ya die for your beliefs, you get a free pass ta heaven?"
She blinks as her hand hovers over T's injuries.
He'd said it so offhandedly, but for her, it felt as if she suddenly had a new perception.
Her bottom lip trembles as the room blurs.
Wasn't that what T always did?
Dangerous shit for the right reasons?
Protecting people.
Helping others.
All at risk to no one but himself.
How many times had she, in a fit of rage and anger, asked if he was trying to get himself killed?
A straight shot into heaven if you died doing what you believed in?
Nothing scared T.
There was no situation he wouldn't put himself in.
Crossing swords with Attila.
Making deals with OVs.
Hunting down dangerous people within a ring.
Her free hand presses over her mouth to muffle the sob building in her throat.
He had done it fearlessly.
Because in his mind, the worst that would ever happen-
His death would get him to a paradise, so long as he was doing what he believed in.
The rag slips from her fingers before she wraps her arms around T's neck and presses her face to the back of his head.
"Wha-" T stiffens, "Umez?"
"You idiot," she accuses into his hair before she has to take a breath, "how dare you try to leave us like that."
"Leave you like-" he frowns, "oh." His eyes widen, "OH! Wait! No- That's not-" He takes a deep breath, "that's- I don't like, ah, it's not the goal anymore."
Her resolve breaks as tears fall, but she pulls away to stare into his eyes, "it's not?"
"No." He rushes out with his hands up, "sorry."
But it had been.
He'd had the goal, or at the very least the hope, to die while he was protecting others.
And she'd not seen it.
Not really.
She'd questioned it, but again, mostly out of anger that he would do things so brash and without help.
She'd never really believed it was true.
"That probably-" he sighs, " I didn't mean to say that, like that. I just," he rubs the back of his neck, "a lot's changed." He grimaces, "obviously."
"I mean, like, yeah, before, sure. I used to think about it a lot. She asked for so little of me, just protect them, you, well, all of you. So it was, like, what? What's the worst that can happen? I die?" He snorts.
"Which," He scoffs, "stupid. Who the fuck would've taken care of her then? I would've just left her alone with that-" He stops dead. "It was selfish." He drops his head.
Her blood runs cold.
How did that work?
What T and Faustina had wasn't magic, it was something else.
So, if T had been killed-
Wouldn't that have just-
She swallows hard as she forces the thought away, biting her lip before she puts a finger under T's chin and gently forces him to look up.
"It sounds, hard-" she frowns, "that sounded stupid out loud-" she shakes her head, "it sounds like you, both of you, just wanted to be like, accepted." She struggles to say as she runs her fingers through his hair to pull the strands out of his face, "except you wanted to be, more?" She huffs, "that's not it either."
He'd been willing to give everything because some crazy priest said dying for your beliefs granted peace.
Who wouldn't want to believe that?
"I'm sorry." She finishes lamely.
T's cheeks burn, "it was stupid." He breathes out.
"But it ain't." She quickly assures him, "you believed someone who said they knew better than you. I did that too." She grimaces at the flash of memories, "we're all bad at listening to the wrong people, especially when they're our OVs."
She tilts her head to the side before she rubs her hand up and down his good arm. "Really, when you think about it, as much as I don't wanna admit it, thinking that way gave you like, the ability to be who you are. You are good at protecting people. Now you're just, giving us the chance to catch up."
His lips twitch.
"Because you don't need to all or nothing it anymore." She continues quickly, "we need you. And Faustina. So many people need both of you. Not just because of what you can do," her eyes narrow sternly, "but because we love you. And selfishly, it would hurt so deep to lose you guys."
"And as confusing as that is to me? I get it." He frowns. "I get that losing us," he meets her gaze, "either of us, would suck too."
She presses a hand over her heart and the warmth that flutters there, "good. It can be confusing, as long as it's gotten."
T snorts, "stupid thing to smile about."
"Shut up," she playfully pops the back of his head, "I'm allowed to smile about things that make me happy."
He grins, "s'not my fault that stupid shit makes you happy."
"Would you rather tears?"
"No!"
"Then shut up," she chuckles before she shifts to continue cleaning T's injuries.
"Just," she bites her lip, uncertain if this was a question she should ask-
Or even had the right to ask.
But the rest of the words spill from her lips, "for my own curiosity, when did it change?"
"Which part?"
"Dreaming of being a martyr."
"Oh." He frowns, "when it finally hit me that there wasn't a heaven." He shrugs. "Oh! Speakin' of- If Senior does ever get off this Isle- I'm working for him then too. Doubt it'll happen, but figured like, you probably wanna know."
"You're-"
Her eyes close as she clears her throat.
"I mean, if his offer is still on the table- Hook kind of interrupted it-"
"Offer?"
"Oh, right- So, we, Senior and me, got into a fight 'bout how he runs the underworld and how he is shit at his job- And he offered me a chance to help organize it." He holds up his hand, "I know, laughable, right? Like fuck, I ever thought I'd be interested in a job with that word in it either."
What word?
Underworld?
Organize?
Help Senior?
"Mmhmm. Mmhmm. So like, the moment he's free or-"
Because now that she knew something bad would happen to T once her uncle was free, she was pretty much sure it was going to happen.
Just to piss her off.
He shrugs, "I mean, fuck's it ever happenin' Umes?"
"Mmm, you say that-"
"Just sayin' the whole thing made me realize I've been a fuckin' idiot."
"Senior offering you a job-"
"No, that was just the weirdest way to escalate a fight I've been in, so far."
She'd glossed over the fight part earlier, but yeah, that was strange.
Usually a fight of escalation with her uncle ended in death.
Her eyes drop to the clay pot with spider web bandages.
What was it about T that made him act so… Different?
Because she couldn't keep lying to herself. Senior didn't treat T, or Faustina, like anyone else on the Isle.
She'd thought Deez had been only jealous before, she certainly had when she discovered the strange relationship T had with her mother.
But-
Her mother treated T the way she did because T was always willing to do whatever she said.
T and Senior?
That was antagonistic.
Which, poking at a god… Of death… A bored god of death?
Anyone besides T and Faustina would be obliterated.
"Umez," T prods her arm curiously.
"Sorry," she shakes her head, "just trying to wrap my brain around how you an' Senior work."
"Oh, that explains the twitch."
She absently puts the heel of her palm to her eye.
She was losing her game face.
"Can, can you please promise me we'll keep working like this?" She asks, though begs might be a better word, "promise that we'll keep facing it all together, even if it means talking it out and having to go slower?"
Green eyes sweep over her face, "yeah, actually. I swear."
"I trust you." She smiles, covering her sigh of relief as she bends over to pull a sticky roll of white cloth carefully rolled with the webs.
She eyes it skeptically before she turns back to T, "this won't burn or nothin', right?"
"I mean, probably not." He shrugs.
She groans, "how did I know that was what you were gonna say?"
"Mind reader."
She snickers as she pokes and prods the web until she's satisfied it won't cause any pain.
Harm she knew Faustina wouldn't have let happen.
Hoped.
But she'd seen the way the two fixated on solving problems over the pain or discomfort of the solution.
"But that still don't mean you don't have to make reports." She chides as she carefully wraps the experimental bandages around T's upper arm.
"I report now."
"An' we're keeping it that way." She nods firmly, impressed in spite of herself, with the way the web seemed to adhere to the open wounds, "this is seemin' like a good idea," she gestures to the bandages.
"Cool," T grins after taking a moment to examine it himself. "She wants to try treating it with her salve for quick patches."
"Yeah," she nods, "that's a wonderful idea. Less ta have ta carry around, too." She chuckles lightly, "I can't wait to see if it works."
He nods, "would come in handy if it does." He watches as she finishes laying the last 'bandage'. "I uh," his face darkens. "I know everyone here knows." He sighs heavily, "but it's still-" He grimaces, "thanks for not pushing it."
She looks down at her hands as she slowly wipes them in the rag, "I know how much it bothers you. Both of you."
He shrugs, "doesn't mean ya have to respect it-"
Her eyes widen as she looks up at him, "of course it does!" She reaches out and takes one of his hands, "It's personal, and something only you two can decide who knows. I mean, I know what happened with James was an accident, but it doesn't change the fact that this is yours, and I would never intentionally give that away."
He smiles, "I know you wouldn't Umes. I ain't-" He sighs, "I guess what I meant is thanks for not pulling rank when it comes to shit like this-" He gestures to his arm.
"Oh," she snorts, "not gonna lie, it's a struggle. But, I also hope that if I just meet you somewhere in the middle, we'll both feel like we're winning."
He studies her for a moment before he snorts, "didn't realize it was like that- But, yeah. I can see it." He grins sheepishly, "I took off my Hoodie without you asking."
"And I appreciate that." She pats his head.
She laughs at his preening grin.
"Speaking of meeting in the middle, though-" she sighs.
T wanted to join Yensid in his search for a way to detect lies.
But she wanted them to sleep.
Together.
After everything that's happened, both at the temple and the howler, she needed that.
"If I don't say anything about you going to the ship with Yensid, will you come back and sleep in here when you find whatever he needs?" She gestures to the pile of furs.
T closes his mouth as he turns to the pile of furs thoughtfully before his eyes brighten and he turns to her with a grin, "there's no mattress."
"There's not, we didn't see a need for one in here."
His grin ends with a snort.
"You don't care who sleeps with you guys right? S'long as one of us does?"
She nods.
"Works for me." He nods, "an' you're right. Win-win."
"Exactly," she smiles as she stands up, "we both get something, and I didn't even raise my voice."
"Progress not perfection, right?"
"I dunno T, this seems pretty perfect right now," her nose crinkles, "minus everything outside this cave."
He sighs, "no shit." He shakes his head before he starts pulling his shirts back on.
"You get dressed, I'll go see how the ship is doing."
"Meet ya by the pool."
"Aye." She nods as she turns away.
That had gone well.
Surprisingly well.
Though in true T fashion, he'd also left her with a lot to think about.
An object that could detect lies.
It saddened him greatly once he realized why T and Faustina wanted such an enchantment.
Young people their age should not have to worry themselves with spies and espionage, but then again, young people their age shouldn't have to brace themselves for war.
Which he knew was coming.
He applauded the insight T and Faustina had.
Hated it.
Was disgusted by the need for it.
But nonetheless-
It allowed these remarkable children to continue doing what they believed was the right thing.
He'd found several simple methods that could almost work, perhaps with a few tweaks and amplified intentions-
"Oh!" Faustina chirps as she sits straight in her chair, "I think this one would work well, if it's manageable, that is." She adds as she turns the book and passes it to him.
He looks the intricate spell work over before he smiles, "this is, indeed, perfect for what you requested."
A spell that made an object grow heavy in one's hand if a lie was spoken to the bearer's question.
"Is it feasible?"
"Quite. In fact, this is a compound spell rather than an overly complicated one."
"Oh," She tilts her head to the side, "so it's more like layering than weaving, then? Is that what you mean?"
He smiles with a proud nod, "an apt description. The reason the spell frame seems so complicated is because of that. It's each spell layered over the last one."
He enjoyed moments like this, moments of pure teacher and student.
He could see the gears of her mind processing his words as she looked at the spell with new understanding.
She was a fast learner.
It was almost laughable now that she'd ever believed herself incapable of wielding magic.
All it took was changing her mind.
Would he really have her trying to get the cuffs off if it could kill her?
She takes a slow breath as she looks over her hands, flipping them from smooth palms to the unmarred backs.
Was it all in her head?
The pain that stole her ability to think.
The feeling that her skin was melting from her bones.
The agony that ripped screams from her core.
She bites her lip as she drops her hands to her lap.
Useless.
Broken.
Worthless.
Bitterness lodges in her ribs.
She shouldn't feel like this.
He wasn't even her real family anymore.
Her eyes travel over Gil, Uma, and Harry, their still forms breathing deeply in sleep.
She was with her family, well, most of her family anyway. The people that loved and supported her yet-
She felt cold-
Cold and alone.
It hurt.
Hurt to feel so distant from them when they were within arm's reach. They'd all worked so hard for this.
For them to be together, and now she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to enjoy it again.
It was a scary realization. One that kept looming over her.
Haunting her. Like a phantom that wouldn't let her from its grip.
They were right there.
They probably wouldn't mind if she woke them up-
Or would they?
After everything they'd all been through today, after everything that happened at the temple and on the Isle-
Wouldn't she be just as worthless to them if she couldn't fight this?
If she woke them from the rest they needed?
They would say no.
She knew that.
So, why was she so scared?
Why was her heart racing?
No-
Her breath hitches.
The room blurs as her hands clasp around her necklaces.
One made to remind her who she belonged with.
Another to lessen the effects of magic.
And the last one to shield her from the memories.
Except it wasn't working.
It wasn't holding back the memories of blank looks.
Screams of terror.
Blood.
Death.
Father, there had been so much death.
So many-
Too many innocent children lost.
It was unforgivable.
It was too much.
An unnecessary, harrowing tragedy that played on repeat.
She pulls her knees to her chest and hides her face in them.
It was overwhelming-
So intense she could feel it in her soul-
Something she was secretly afraid had been tarnished by the horrors she'd been forced to witness when held hostage by her father.
How could it not?
There was nothing she could do about the pain and suffering.
All she could do was watch, unable to escape or shut her eyes and ears.
Not that she hadn't tried.
But nothing worked except the necklace.
The necklace that worked while the Isle was more dangerous, but made her useless while it was safer.
Working or not, it didn't stop the nightmares of the woman with black eyes.
It was so vivid now.
Her wild hair.
The streaks of dried blood.
The knife she held in her hands.
The horrid, gleeful look on her face-
Her eyes widen when a hand clamps over her mouth.
"Ssshh," Faustina's gentle voice cuts through her mounting fear. "Come here." She continues just as softly.
She didn't have time to think about what she was doing.
Didn't care that tears were streaming down her face.
She wraps her arms around Faustina's neck, hugging her, so tightly she hears bones pop.
Faustina's voice was a candle in a darkness so complete she hadn't even seen the glow.
And she needed her.
Needed to feel her.
Needed something real.
Warm.
Needed to feel her pulse beat.
Hear her breath.
She wasn't sure she'd ever needed something so desperately in her life.
"StarGazer," Faustina whispers lovingly as she returns the hug.
She shakes her head against the other girl's neck, "thank you," she croaks through the strained, silent sobs.
Faustina rubs her back hesitantly, "of course." She kisses the crown of her head. "It's what family is for, after all, isn't it, little sister?" She nudges her head with her own. "Now-"
Faustina settles next to her before she pulls her close and runs her hand over her hair, "it won't be long, it will go down again," she whispers soothingly.
The barrier.
The screams.
Her father.
Her fingers twist fabric.
"Would you like me to wake the others?"
She shakes her head.
The last thing she wanted was for them to see this.
She wanted to help.
To fight back.
To free the Isle Borns.
But what kind of help would they think she could be if they saw her clinging to Faustina as if her life depended on it?
What kind of help could she be?
None.
Worthless.
"StarGazer…" Faustina breathes out as warmth drips into her hair.
She wasn't sure she'd ever been at such a loss for words but-
What was she supposed to say?
What could anyone say to make this okay?
Deez had suffered significantly by her unwitting father, tortured by-
She squeezes her eyes shut.
-god help her, she didn't even want to fathom it.
The horrors of Morgana's slaughter would haunt her and her brother to the end of their lives-
She couldn't even imagine the-
She frowns as she searches for the right word, but none seemed powerful enough to describe everything that would forever hang over the younger girl's head.
And it made her heart hurt.
Ache.
All she wanted to do was tell her everything would be okay-
But she couldn't bring herself to offer her Star Gazer false hope.
How could anyone ever be okay after witnessing that?
Untold nightmares so sickening, even the God of Death clung to another.
A shiver runs down her spine.
Even Lord Hades had been affected by the experience-
To feel so many terrified souls-
How was one of the kindest, most empathetic people she cherished supposed to be alright after something so vile?
Her Star Gazer, the young girl who had pled with deaf royalty for years-
She swallows hard as her tears return, unsure if her chest had ever ached so painfully as she pulls Deez to her tighter.
How was she doing it?
How was she still functioning?
It was miraculous to her.
But when hadn't Deez been so?
Her heart skips a beat when the cave slowly fills with multicolored glows.
The Barrier!
Her eyes drop to Deez as the girl lets out a relieved sigh, "it's over," she breathes out as her tight grip loosens.
She nods as she carefully places a kiss on the other girl's temple, "you, please don't take this the wrong way, but you handled that with impressive composure." She pauses, "it's horrible you had too- but I just wanted you to know."
Deez's head falls back to rest in the crook of her elbow as a weary smile slowly curves her lips, "what's the wrong way to take that?" She asks, her voice soft and breathy, as if she barely had the energy to speak.
Faustina's lip twitches, "anything other than admiration."
"Thank you." Deez whispers as her eyes close.
She sighs in relief when she feels Deez's breath even out.
Thank god.
She had been certain she was going to have to cajole her into slumber, something she would have been loathed to do.
Though-
Her gaze shifts to the rest of their family with a wistful smile.
-she supposed that was just part of being a family.
Seeing to each other's needs when one of them was unable to.
It was so different from what she had known-
But made her feel so very deliciously warm.
Which-
Her eyes drop to Deez, speaking of warmth, she was sure the rest of their family was missing their favorite source.
She stands, careful not to jostle and wake Deez before she scoops the smaller girl into her arms and silently walks to the-
Her eyes widen as a delighted smile tilts her lips.
She'd forgotten.
Tonight was the night she'd finally be able to join her family.
She pauses in her steps as tears blur her vision.
Why?
Why was it now, when the Isle was falling apart, that all her wishes were coming true?
How could things be so terrible and so surreal in the best ways possible?
She'd received so much more than she'd ever thought possible.
Acceptance.
Acknowledgement.
Love.
So much love.
She swallows as she blinks away her tears and continues, carefully tucking Deez securely next to Gil.
Her smile widens as her Lion instantly shifts to Deez's warmth and pulls her to his chest, ever the protector even in his sleep.
She watches them for a moment, waiting to see if the girl would stir.
She waits several heart beats before she's comfortable enough to step back, her eyes taking in her family-
Warmth floods her chest.
Her family!
God, she'd never grow weary of what that understanding elicited.
Her gaze lingers on each of them, desiring nothing more than to capture their slumbering expressions as they clung to each other.
Excited, she could see them so clearly now that she could see them from so many proper angles.
She bites her lip indecisively. There was much to be done tomorrow.
Much she had to accomplish.
But-
She turns to the entrance where she'd drop T's bag in her haste, what was one sketch really?
There was no guarantee she'd be able to have this opportunity again. Not when they were bound to split their time more efficiently between the cove and ship and more importantly-
A shiver runs down her spine.
-bound to be in danger.
She slams the door on the thought-
Her mind made up, she turns and carefully, as not to wake anyone, starts for the bag only to stop mid-step when she hears someone shift.
She holds her breath as she stays still waiting for them to settle and lets out a deep breath when all she can hear was the soft breaking of the waves.
She startles when a hand settles on her shoulder.
"An' where ya think ya be ah goin'?"
She turns to look up at him, trying not to pout, "to get a notebook."
Harry snorts before he pulls her against his chest, "don'nah be knowin' how ah notebook be ah helpin' ya sleep, Love."
She bites her lip as she turns to the bag with a sigh, "I suppose it doesn't."
"I be ah lookin' forward ta this since Uma be ah tellin' us the deal," he grins, and he pulls her back just enough to look into her eyes, "an' I don'nah be wantin' ta miss ah single second o' it."
She studies him before her lips tilt in a small smile, "I don't either, it's just the first time I've been able to get such a good look at the four of you sleeping. Well," her eyes brighten, "laying down at least."
Harry's head tilts to the side, "can ya be ah drawin' yerself an' T sleepin' with us?"
Could she-
"I've never thought of doing that," she admits, "I'm not sure how happy he'd be about it. He hates it when I draw him." She frowns, "the only picture he likes of himself is on the Hangout's wall." She shakes her head, "probably because it's a silhouette."
Harry snorts, "So, if ya be ah drawin' him with his hood bein' pulled o'er his head, then he be fine?"
Would he?
T could get so finicky about things like that-
Her brow furrows.
But if she were to obfuscate his features-?
"Mood pending, I don't think that would bother him-" She tilts her head to the side, "but now that the idea is my head, he might actually like it. All of you being together. I don't think I've ever drawn anything with all of you." She smiles, "it's a wonderful idea."
"All o' us." Harry shakes his head, "that be ah includin' you."
"Oh." She blinks, "I've never drawn myself."
"So?" He shrugs his shoulders, "the ol' man be ah havin' ah whole book full o' paintin' he be callin' self somethin's, sounds like ya be ah proper artist."
She bites her lip, "I suppose I could try."
"If ya be ah promisin' ta sleep in me arms," Harry grins before he boops her nose, "for real an' in yer art."
Bats flutter in her stomach as her face catches on fire, and she nods, "I can do that."
"Then I be ah supposin' I can be convinced ta be lettin' ya," he winks as his hold on her tightens before he spins them slightly, so he can grab the bag, "but I also be gettin' ta see this first."
She drops her eyes, "of course."
"Nah," Harry's tongue clicks as he lifts her head by a single finger under her chin, "don'nah be bein' like that, it only be me demands."
Her lips twitch, "well, who am I to deny my Prince?"
"There should'nah be anyone who can'nah be sayin' that," his eye twitches before he clears his throat, "that be, 'cept the Cap'in on occasion."
"Of course," she quickly covers her struggle to contain a laugh by pressing her lips to the hollow of his throat, "anything less is madness."
"anything less is madness."
Dead.
Just fucking dead.
Dark doesn't typically help me with T and Tina but when she does?
Beautiful.
But fuck if Harry didn't need a ego boost, not with T's ragging.
Man, Faustina was never supposed to be this way-
Never meant to be this… Sure of herself-
At least not this soon but-
When I first introduced her I made her too close to Deez for me and Dark to be comfortable and I shifted her character. How she ended up here however…
That shit happened out of my control, other writers out there, you get it right? When you just let the character flourish under its own volition?
She was supposed to be meek and timid and shit, instead she stepped up when shit got hard. Then again she's been planning a siege of the Isle since she was a child-
Cause you know-
That's normal…
But think about it-
Faustina fucking loves so many on the Isle that she demanded T protect them- Always. Of course she'd step up, albeit it quietly, when shit went to well, shit.
They are 'siblings' after all, and at a point followed the morals, admittedly morals they agreed with, but still-
It was the only real source they had, (Frollo didn't really take the time to preach about them- mostly because he was too busy filling their brains with other bull shit teachings from the good book. Like how women are inferior, and a whole bunch of other backwards philosophies)
Moving on-
What did you think about T's convo with Uma?
Did it help fill any blanks in about T's motives?
That scene between D and Tina was just so sweet. I absolutely love scenes where the two get to interact, and I love how it usually involves Tina taking care of D. I just love the dynamic. What about you guys?
And fuck, poor D.
Things are just so fucked for her right now.
T being friends with Sr (despite any argument otherwise)
Tina having some type of bizarre bond with Sr
Her feelings of worthlessness and uselessness
Oh and let's not forget the fact she has to face so much fucking death and trauma- So much so even the God of Death was affected by it.
That's a fucking lot for a 14, maybe at this point, 15 year old
Fuck it was a lot for the damned god.
And I really wish we could've delved deeper into her trauma-
But much like making the Spider a 3rd personality- We just didn't have the time or space for it.
No worries though that's what David, Nani, and Cobra are for-
Assuming they ever get to god damned Auradon.
God we shoved so much into this book.
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyways
Much love and shit-
Twisted