Wednesday, 3rd of Spring

Alma jolted awake, screaming. Then she realized it was another dream, and she worked on slowing her breath and heart rate. Once her body relaxed, she realized how stiff she was. "I'm too old for all this," she sighed. She mustered up the strength to put her legs over the side of the bed. She grunted as she stood up, hearing various joints popping and cracking as her body settled on itself. She curled the blanket closer to her body and stepped outside. The fresh morning air was just what she needed, and she breathed it in deep. She looked down to her crops and was happy to see more green poking out of the dirt. She bent over and felt the dew between her fingers.

"Keep going, little guys. You're doing great." She went back into the cabin and did some stretches before getting dressed for work.

Looking out over the farm, she thought maybe she could cut down a few more trees. So she got her ax and started chopping. As she was working, she noticed all the debris on the ground around her: mostly pinecones, maple seeds, and acorns. She seemed to remember her granddad telling her that she could mash these together to make a little snack. Her stomach rumbled at the thought, so she went and sat on the steps of her cabin to try it out. She looked at her tools and figured the handle of her hoe might be the best one. She used it to crush the seeds into a mushy powder, then she used her hands to pack those into little bricks. "Here goes," she said, taking a bite of one of the pucks. Not great, she thought, but not bad either! She placed her things in the chests, including some of those field snacks, then took the rest and headed toward town to take them to Pierre.

As she was walking down the road, she heard, "Ms. Alma! Good afternoon!" She turned and saw Dr. Harvey at the little wooded park at the entrance of town. He approached her, and she noticed his face change. "Uh ... had a - had a rough day?"

It just now occurred to Alma that she didn't make any effort to straighten herself up before coming into town. She was now very aware of how dirty, sweaty, and frazzled she must have looked. "Oh. Yeah. I think I overworked myself yesterday, and I didn't sleep well last night. Add that to a day of chopping wood and taking care of crops with a bit of a distracted brain and … ta-da!" she said weakly with a nervous smile.

Dr. Harvey looked sympathetic but concerned. "Well, we sell a few over-the-counter medicines at the clinic. Feel free to stop by if you're feeling exhausted. I know that being a farmer is pretty tiring work. Don't overdo it!"

"I'm afraid it's a little too late for that," Alma answered. "I've made my bed, and I'm going to lie in it."

"Metaphorically and literally, I hope. Don't forget that rest is an important part of work." He looked at the load in her arms. "What have you got there? Is that some sort of … fertilizer?"

"Oh, no, I made some field snacks from some of the tree nuts and seeds. I was going to sell them to Pierre."

"You remember it's … Wednesday, right?"

Alma's eyes shot open. She closed them with a sigh and let her head drop forward. "Right. Yes. Wednesday." She moaned and rubbed her face. "Maybe I do need to go home and rest. My brain is just not working right today."

"Yes, mental health is just as important as physical health."

"Well, would you like one of these?" Alma handed one of her field snacks to Dr. Harvey, and his brows furrowed.

"Hmm … are you sure that's healthy?"

"Oh, uh, yes? I ate one, and ... I'm still alive?"

He smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Very reassuring."

Alma had to laugh. "Wow, I am just a mess through and through."

"I know you're new to town, but I am your doctor now, and I say you need to have some rest, Ms. Alma. H-How about I walk you home?"

She felt a familiar wall of defense rise in front of her. "Oh, no, th-thank you, I'm - I'm all right." But as she turned, she dropped some of the field snacks on the ground.

Dr. Harvey quickly crouched down to pick them up. "Here, l-let me carry these for you."

Alma's fight-or-flight instincts were flurrying inside of her; she had become so adapted to reject any semblance of kindness from a man in fears it might be manipulation. And she told herself not to fall in that trap again. But something about Dr. Harvey seemed more genuine. She hesitantly nodded and gave a nervous smile. "That would be very kind, thank you."

He smiled and gave a little nod before gesturing for her to take the lead, and together they went back on the road out of town. After a moment, Dr. Harvey asked, "Mayor Lewis told me this farm belonged to - to your grandfather?"

"Yes. He bought it a while after he and my grandmother got married. He wanted to reconnect with her, treat animals with respect, and use farming to help others. He was … just tired of running in the rat race, y'know? So he bought this land in the middle of nowhere, in this village by the coast, and he called it Paradise. He absolutely loved this place. My dad and my oldest uncle were born here too."

"And did your dad inherit it?"

"No no no, my dad didn't hardly want anything to do with it," she laughed. "He wanted to be a civil engineer, working in construction and architecture. No, he wanted to be in the city where the action was."

"Then … how did you end up with it?"

"My grandfather had a heart attack when he was fairly young, shortly after my dad was born, and he had to give up the farm because he couldn't do the physical work anymore. They moved to the suburbs, and we all thought he sold the property - that's what he had told us all. But on his deathbed, on the last night I saw him when I was a girl, he gave me a letter and told me not to open it until I felt I needed a major life change. I held on to that letter for a long time. I grew up, went away to college, got a degree in Informatics, got a job at Joja, went through some family issues and personal drama and just … got bogged down by the brokenness of the world. I got to thinking more and more about that letter and about what Grandpa had said. I started bringing it with me to work and keeping it in my drawer, just to know it was there. And finally, after just having a really terrible time, I opened it up right there at my cubicle, and it was the deed to the property."

"And you just decided to … pack up everything and go?"

"Yeah. I mean, I was fed up with work, I felt like I wasn't contributing anything to the world, I didn't have any major ties keeping me where I was anymore, and it …" She felt a lump forming in her throat. Dr. Harvey stopped, and she shook her head. "I'm sorry," she squeaked.

"Don't be. I - I didn't mean to upset you. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, it's just … we all thought this land was gone. Grandpa always talked about it like it was Heaven on Earth, saying it was a magical place. I never got to see it, and I never thought I would. This important piece of my grandparents and their life, we all thought he just - got rid of it. And to suddenly know it was not only still here but that he entrusted it to me …." She looked up at him and wiped her eyes. "How could I say no, you know?"

"Were you two close?"

She smiled through her tears, and they continued walking. "I am the only girl on that side of my family. I mean, literally. I have two brothers, three uncles, and eight cousins - all boys. So, yeah, Grandpa took a shine to me. I used to live with him and my grandmother in the summers, and I loved those times. He showed me how important it was to help people, and he always told me life was more than what you saw. He meant a lot to me. And, yeah, I guess, obviously, I meant a lot to him too, for him to entrust this to me." She thought for a moment. "I think he didn't want me to open the letter when I was young, one, because he knew I couldn't do anything about it from such a young age, two, he didn't want any of the guys in my family to take advantage of me and run off with the deed themselves or something, and, three, he didn't want to see me stuck in a grinding life like he had, with no way out. So yeah," she sighed, "I was able to get out. I needed to run away from a lot in my past life, and now I'm running toward a lot in this new one."

He struggled for a minute to know what to say. "It was a - a very brave thing you did."

Alma laughed, wiping her face. "Or totally foolish." They approached the farm, and she looked at all the remaining overgrowth covering the farm that still needed to be cleared out. "I'm glad I made the decision to take control of my life and carry on some of my grandfather's legacy, but … I just don't know if I can do this."

Dr. Harvey saw the little plants growing in front of her house and the two rickety chests filled with materials she had gathered. "You did this," he pointed out. Alma nodded a bit and sniffed. "And, realistically, Ms. Alma, for, what, two? three days here? you've already done quite a bit of work. I know I couldn't have done what y-you've done."

There was a moment of quiet between them. Alma could hear the birds singing, and it gave her a bit of hope. "Thank you, Dr. Harvey," she said. "I'll take those field snacks now."

He handed them to her and said, "This is a big transition for you - emotionally, mentally, physically, socially, economically - in every way, really. And in my professional opinion, you need to give yourself quite a bit more grace than you are. Try to look at how far you've come already instead of how much more you need to do. That will help your mindset, which will help your performance and your overall success, however you decide to determine that. But I will say this," and he stepped back and pushed up his glasses. "In my personal opinion, I've learned the people of Pelican Town are fiercely supportive. If you need help, I know anyone in town will step up."

Alma laughed a bit. "Even if I go into town looking like a madwoman, on the verge of a breakdown, carrying around inedible seed mush?"

"Well, maybe leave the, uh … field snacks at home." He smiled. "Go and, uh, get some rest, Ms. Alma."

"I will. Thank you again." Dr. Harvey nodded and turned back to the road into town. Alma dropped her field snacks into the shipping bin and took another minute to look over the farm. She wiped her face one more time and smiled before going inside to clean up and wind down.

"Alma." Alma looked up from her desk and saw Cathy, poking her head into the door. "I need you in my office, please."

"Sure, let me finish up this email."

"I'm sorry, but … it won't wait." Alma was a bit shocked, but she got up from her desk and followed her supervisor to her office. Cathy took a seat and asked her to do the same. "We got a response from corporate about your audit. They believe there has been a breach of security."

"Yes, the auditor told me about that in his review. I admitted my part in his assessment, explained my reasons for doing it, and he gave me suggestions for corrections in the future."

Cathy paused, folding her hands. "They've asked for you to be terminated."

Alma looked at her for a moment, wondering if there had been some mistake. "What? As in lose my job? But - But I was under the impression from the auditor that I would receive a warning, a reprimand, maybe - maybe additional training and then make progress in the future! They can't just - fire me!"

"I know, Alma. They believe the withholding of information and the transferral of data from one space to another is enough of a breach to warrant concern."

"And I told the auditor - and my mentors - who, by the way, aren't here! - when I was seeking advice - in written correspondence - that that information was not able to be collected because there was no contract signed by customers allowing them to turn over their personal information for the sake of - of profiting off of them - of taking advantage of them! It's not moral, Cathy. I couldn't do it!"

"I know, I know. They say there was a contract and that you were not acting as you had been trained."

"Trained?!" Alma couldn't help but laugh. "Need I remind you that the previous data analyst in my position was also terminated - and that there was zero communication between us! I had no training! I had to figure everything out on my own - and I did a damn good job of it! You know this!"

"Yes, I'm aware. You've been the best and longest-standing data analyst at our branch of Joja."

"Yes! I have been! And I've made vast improvements to the position, haven't I?!"

"You have. You're absolutely right that it is unfair, it's unwarranted, and it's damaging in the long term. They don't understand that if they terminate you, the cycle will continue. The next analyst will make the same 'mistakes' because they also will receive inadequate training. It makes me sick."

"Then on what grounds can they do this to me?!"

"Because they're Joja! They don't care about you. You know that."

Alma calmed down a minute, and she felt tears come to her eyes. "Cathy, I - I can't lose my job. You know what I'm going through at home. I can't - I can't lose my job." She held her head in her hands.

"I know, Alma, I do know. And though Joja does not care about you, I do. I hate that they've done this to you." She repositioned in her seat and sighed. "That's why I went ahead and wrote them back." Alma looked up at her, wiping her tears. "I petitioned for you to not be terminated but to be transferred to a different department. And they agreed."

"Oh, Cathy, thank you," she said, wiping her tears, "Thank you so much."

"But, Alma - it's not over." Cathy clenched her jaw. "They're putting you back in IT."

Alma's tears returned. They pooled in her eyes and dripped down her cheeks. "Yoba." Her hands shook - her whole body started to shake. "They want to - to - to humiliate me. Rub it in my face!"

"I'm so sorry, Alma."

"I can't go back to the call center - take that trauma every day!"

"It's a rock and a hard place, but at least the choice can still be yours."

"The overseers treat us like dogs, the coworkers are like zombies, the space is - detestable!"

"You can walk out, and you don't have to know Joja ever again. Or if you decide the money, the routine, the time out of the house is what you need more, you can go to IT."

"And hear people affirm to me over and over again the things I hear in my own head?!"

Cathy leaned over her desk and placed her hand out, as if reaching for Alma. "Either way, I want you to know I support you wholeheartedly, both as your supervisor and your friend." As Alma reached for her hand, the space between them grew farther and farther apart, like they were on two sides of fabric ripping apart. And soon, Alma could no longer even see her.