OYHN: Worm Chapter 4

Disclaimer: For a list of most of the things in this fic that aren't mine, see chapter 2. This one adds RWBY (Rooster Teeth), Smallville (Warner Bros) and Highschool of the Dead (Daisuke and Shoji Sato, Geneon). I didn't realize it until after I wrote it, but there's also a small Lost Boys reference.

Monday, September 6th,2010

I have not failed, I now know what not to do

"Are we certain the spell isn't simply failing?" asked Hermione, her cat ears and tail twitching in annoyance.

"It's Planar Summons, its usual failure mode is to summon a demon, and Summon Demon worked, so it's possible to fail that way." Willow retorted. "Can we put in any more energy?"

"We put in two hundred times as much energy as it took to summon the demon in a failed attempt to get a broken, traitorous R2 unit. I think something's blocking access." I said.

"We should do one more test. Try to aim for one of the dimensions we know is accessible. Something identifiable from Earth Aleph, maybe." suggested Hermione.

I smirked, and walked over to the Silver Screen. "Commercial for 'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire', Earth Aleph version."

Hermione groaned. "I hate that movie. It bears no relation to the actual events, and I look nothing like Emma Watson."

She really didn't. I was actually reminded of a few of the commentators from the Science Channel, one was, an expert on planetary formation, maybe? the other was a marine biologist? one had an unusual first name? Anyway, nerdy black hotness. Even before we get to the whole 'catgirl' thing.

Yeah, running Hermione Granger through a pokegirl filter gets us a 'Mistoffeles', a black cat magic pokegirl. Apparently her brief canon catgirl-ness was enough to change her type permanently. The only obvious cat bits were her ears, tail, and a stripe of fur between them. Her retractable claws mostly just looked like fingernails.

I shifted my focus back to the commercial playing, and used the image of the movie DVD as my focus to call what I wanted to me. A light flickered in the pentagram, grew, brightened, stabilized, then collapsed, leaving behind a recognizable DVD case.

"Yes! We did it!" said Willow.

"OK, so we know Plan A is out because of dimensional blockage. We have to assemble the rest of the team like jigsaw puzzles, then empower them." I thought for a moment, then smiled. "Do you realize what this means?"

They shared a look. "We're already afraid to ask, and we've only known you for a day or two." said Willow.

"I have a perfect excuse to build and run a gaming and cosplay supply store! I must now run four separate roleplaying games in order to save the world!" I exclaimed dramatically.

"Truly, the sacrifices you make for the cause are awe inspiring." deadpanned Hermione.

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Architecture Most Foul

Lisa was idly glancing around as she and the rest of the Undersiders headed out to scout the location of the next job when she saw the building. It wore its history on its sleeve. It had clearly begun life as a two storey stone farmhouse, then, around the civil war, it had a third storey and a red brick tower added to it, in that Victorian I-wanna-be-a-castle style. Sometime in the 20s the first floor had been expanded and turned into a shop, then a restaurant in the 50s. The newest owner had put in a small one car garage in the back next to the tower, put up a bunch of solar panels, and updated and restored the rest, trying to keep the original charm wherever possible. Somehow it all worked together.

And it hadn't been there yesterday.

A blinding migraine of a Thinker headache slammed into her. She felt like she'd been trying to deduce the secret identity of a guy in full body and face concealing helmet from a single picture.

"Brian, what's that place?" she asked, pointing.

He paused for a moment. "Hey, someone restored the old Frankenstein place. I wonder what it is now."

"Why'd they call it the Frankenstein place?" Alec asked, saving Lisa the trouble.

Brian snorted. "Just look at it."

Lisa gritted her teeth. "Brian, I need you to focus and think hard. What do you actually remember about that building?"

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's been closed since I was a little kid, I think it used to be a bakery. The inside looked like an old diner. The second and third storeys used to be the owners home, then they turned them into apartments."

"Guys, that place was a burned out warehouse yesterday." she said.

"You're sure you're not thinking about..." Alec gestured at the other half of the block, which did fit that description.

She glared. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Well, then, let's check it out. Needful Things is gonna be more interesting than what we were doing." suggested Alec.

Rachel grunted. "None of our business."

Brian took in their opinions with a glance. "Fine, we'll go in, but don't take too long. We've still got a job to do."

When they got closer, they saw that the actual name of the place was 'Nerdtopia', and the signs in the windows promised toys, games, comics, movies and cosplay supplies. The interior was a little sparse, the shelves a bit bare, implying they'd jumped the gun on their Grand Opening. Most of the space was an open, L shaped area, with one leg having a line of large, sturdy tables down the middle. To one side of the tables there were costume supplies, fabric, yarn, plastic weapons and accessories, and tools to work all of the above. Everything you might need to pretend to be your favorite fantasy or sci-fi character. (Or make a good cape costume, thought Lisa.) The other side was for miniature gaming. Games, rulebooks, minis, painting supplies, tools, terrain pieces, modeling clay, styrofoam and cardboard for DIY terrain, and two 3-D printers for DIY minis. The other leg held shelves of comics, novels, dvds, blu-rays, tabletop roleplaying games, games for the PC and a dozen other platforms, all mixed together, organized by subject matter not type of media. In what would be the white space in the L was the original stone structure with its wraparound porch, now turned into an elongated snack bar, separated from the rest of the store by large stone arches and a low wall. The bathrooms and 'Employees Only' areas were in the old building proper.

While her power screamed of the place's newness in spite of every aspect of the interior showing its history, it was silent on the inhabitants. An attractive young black woman with a giant pile of natural 80s hair in a designer knock off blouse and low rise jeans was frowning and occasionally reorganizing books. A remarkably well endowed redhead was setting up the 3-D printers, while a similarly busty, well, 'pinkette', with glasses was setting up terrain on one of the tables. A petite short haired blond hung up sign up sheets and notices on a cork board, and a girl who looked like an eighteen year old Nicole de Boer in something that was almost a Catholic school uniform inspected the snack bar.

The brunette by the snack bar noticed them coming in, called out "Customers!", vaulted over the low stone wall and scampered to them. "Welcome to Nerdtopia! How can I help you? I'm Ruby, by the way." she said in a rush.

The girl's energy was just too much to deal with on top of her headache. She looked down, pretending she was interested in the flooring and let one of the guys handle her.

Brian stepped up to the task. "Saw the sign, didn't even realize the place was being renovated. Last time I was in here, it was a bakery."

"Well, we've got stuff you can't find anywhere else, like, oh, let me show you!" She ran around them, grabbed a slim case boxed set off a shelf, and shoved it into Brian's hands. The cover was separated into four panels, each with a silhouetted figure in a different color, red, white, black, and yellow, labeled RWBY Volume One. "See, that's me! Well, animated alternate universe me, anyway. Alt-Dad knew the series creator, so he put alt-me in as one of the main characters! And there's both a PC and a tabletop game! OK, the tabletop game is a Big Eyes Small Mouth supplement, but -"

"Ruby, breathe, OK." The girl's relentless enthusiasm was interrupted as a new person walked out of the back. He was a big guy, 6'3" or so, heavyset, carrying a box of books. He was smiling, and wore a 'What part of MWAHAHA don't you understand?' T-shirt. "Why don't we find out what they're interested in. For instance, do you like what I did with the flooring?" He said to Lisa. "This is actually the subfloor from the 1920's addition, these are 2x6s from a time when they really were two inches by six inches, and you cannot find that today. Those spots I had to patch-" he gestured, and yes, they could see a few places where the wood was visibly different, "-I had to cut down and then laminate 2x8s to fit."

"That's a lot of effort to go through for a floor." said Brian, clearly uncomfortable at having to carry the small talk.

"You don't know the half of it. I had to run new joists underneath in a bunch of places, the nails had popped up so the whole thing had to be glued and screwed down, I even had to research the stain for maximum Lego visibility." Reacting to their disbelieving stares, "No, really, a light blond wood stain is the flooring that Legos show up best against. I used to know a guy who would prototype minis with Legos, and there's a tactical game over there that has people pit their creations against each other, so, It's gonna come up."

"Well, that's fascinating, I think we'll just browse for a bit." said Brian.

After a few minutes of wandering around, Alec grabbed one item off the shelf and marched over to the counter. "What the fuck?" The item in question was 'Mario Wars' for the Playstation 3.

"I know, right? I think that one is a case of corporate malicious compliance, where one suit said 'Let's make all our products dark and edgy.', and the production team smiled evilly and said 'OK.' The funny thing is that the Japanese release was a serious, dark first person shooter with some shit that makes Grand Theft Auto look G rated, the American localization team hired a Canadian comedy troupe to do the voice acting and the 'trash talk' AI. It's hysterical."

Alec looked down at the game. "I'm gonna need a new system to play this, right?"

The proprietor grinned and pulled a box out from beneath the counter. "Yes you will."

"OK, how else are you gonna separate me from my money?" asked Alec.

He stepped out from behind the counter and headed towards the 'Employee Only' entrance in the back. "Follow, but if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you with nasty, big, pointy teeth."

With that ringing endorsement, Alec followed him into another shelf-filled show room. It didn't look all that different from the front. "OK, so what?"

The guy handed him a case.

"Star Wars prequel trilogy. Again, so what?"

"Check the credits." he said with a grin.

"Wait, directed by Kevin Smith?"

"And co-written by Timothy Zahn. No idea what happened in that universe to put that team together, but I'm not complaining. They got along so well they made a sequel trilogy a couple years later." he said, holding up another box set.

"Should I just hand you my wallet?"

"Now, now. Don't suffer for your hobbies, keep enough money to stay fed, hydrated, housed, et cetera." he said.

The staff of Nerdtopia watched as their first customers left, one laden down with bags, the others with a book or, in Rachel's case, a cheap werewolf mask. Willow held up her hand for a moment after they left, then nodded. "Alright, we have to get a better way to make product than trusting your subconscious. Mario Wars, really?" she said.

"Hey, I just took the generic first person shooter pattern, and squished it together with Mario Kart, and that's what came out. Salt with a little Canadian comedy dub of Ultraman, and presto! Something that exists nowhere else."

"Aren't we supposed to be avoiding notice?" asked the blonde.

"The wrong kind of notice, Chloe. Now, people will think I have a connection to a Tinker with a dimensional travel specialty, instead of anything close to the truth." he said.

"And, if anyone finds out all of our legal identities are fake, they'll all come to the wrong conclusion." said Willow.

"OK, we're all dimension travelers is a lot more believable than we're all minion clones of fictional people." said Chloe Sullivan, Pokegirl Nerdbabe, made from a Create Servant (Skilled type, skill chosen: Journalism) from an episode of Smallville, and the skills and knowledge of every local hacker he could find amalgamated together.

"Speaking of that, I take it that the final ingredient we needed for Luna just walked out the door?" asked Hermione.

"Yup, turn the dial down on Tattletail's power, add See Invisible, the skills she'd have in common with you, Create Servant on a movie to get a short lived copy with the skill of Magical Cryptozoology, and then-." he made a 'smooshing together' kind of gesture.

"Will she be a Nerdbabe like most of us?" asked Saya Takagi, Pokegirl Nerdbabe, made from a Create Servant (Skilled type, skill chosen: Tactics) from an episode of Highschool of the Dead.

"No, I'll do like I did for Ruby, give her the Former Nerdbabe template, and let her be generic. Maybe it'll get us a Witch type." he said.

"I thought I unlocked a WItch type?" asked Hermione.

"No, you unlocked Species: Human variant, Wizarding World Witch slash Wizard. The pokegirl types you unlocked were your own and Catgirl, like Willow got me both Ka-D-Bra and A-Bra. So maybe we'll luck out and she'll be far along her evolution path." he said.

"Not fair, I came out as just a basic, stupid Amazon-wu." Ruby Rose, made from an episode of RWBY with Create Warrior (Skilled type, weapon skill: Scythe), the Former Nerdbabe template, and the skills of someone going in to college for Mechanical Engineering and Chemistry.

"Still makes you our tank." he said. "OK, I'm gonna start Luna baking, Willow, Hermione, you're with me, I'll need you as batteries. Once we get that done, we'll work on teaching you guys Technomancer Earth create spells so we can get patterns for cool stuff from your universes. Saya, Chloe, look through things and pick stuff for your empowerments, and Ruby, it looks like you've nominated yourself chief salesgirl. Let's go, people, we have a world to save, with harems and roleplaying games."

Author's Note: The two Science Channel commentators the protagonist can't quite remember are Dr. Moogega Cooper (astrophysicist) and Dr. Danni Washington (marine biologist). I saw them and thought if they could do an English accent, they'd be perfect for a black Hermione.