Albino starts to laugh and cheer at the defeat of his competition, but little does he know, Twomad is still very alive, approximately 25 miles away. Twomad is dancing above a health pack, holding an item in his hand that allowed for him to fake his own death. However, Twomad made the mistake of not really checking out what this place was before coming here, so he doesn't notice when Skamlique suddenly crawls out of the ground and repeatedly bites Twomad's ankle. Twomad runs off with the health pack, screaming, but it is already too late, as he has now been infected by the Skomlik family virus, causing his middle name to be legally changed to "Sckommlikk". This means that he now has to attend the Skomlik family reunions, which luckily only happen once every 2 billion eons, but unluckily one of them is scheduled for tomorrow. Twomad is mildly displeased by this, but not that much. He goes to check on his video uploading website of choice, only to find that it has for some reason split into two websites which are currently in a struggle for dominance.
Albino suddenly notices a sign on the wall saying that "The bears are in", so he goes to adopt an albino bear, which he names Todd Jr. One of the other bears up for adoption seems to not actually be a bear, but is in fact some kind of robotic ass. A being known as Thread Contributor Lobster sees this and brings out several large barricades to block off the image of the ass, and then says that he will condemn anybody who dares to take a bhear or acknowledge their existence to the pits of Liopleurodon Bay. From a hole in one of the barricades crawls Sangdaddy, who is dragging with one arm a person known as Megan Petronskey. Megan proceeds to regurgitate an army of purple googles, which begin swarming around and devouring the IQs of everybody they encounter, feeding on them so that they can construct a bridge to college. One of the googles gobbles down the IQ of a pathetic peasant and gains their attributes of stupidity, which angers Megan due to the fact that it postpones the construction of the bridge. Megan calls over for Amanda McDolan to help, but Amanda is too busy giving the young googles their schedules. Sangdaddy seems to have gone missing without anyone noticing, and is nowhere to be found. While Megan begins punishing all of the worthless googles, the Cryptid shows up again, but is soon smacked away by another Criptyd who appears next to him. Paul Lucus sees the Criptyd and notices that he's breaking the school policy of no prison stripes, so he charges at it, shattering it and himself in the process. The Cryptid munches on the Criptyd's fragments in order to evolve into El Chupa Muy Grande. Nearby, an bone-cracking elf named Crackle shows up, as well as the Canobie Rabbit, which makes a random person comment on how many people are showing up, before being promptly mauled and eaten by the Canobie Rabbit. El Chupa Muy Grande starts trying to slaughter the googles before they can finish building that bridge, but they keep coming back faster than he can kill them. Crackle starts cracking the bones of the googles, which doesn't hinder them but he keeps doing it anyways,
"Man I really miss doing this with my brothers, but they both moved to other Trifectas." sighs Crackle, before continuing to crack as many bones as he can. A random guy who loves kicking puppies in the jaw shows up and kicks a puppy in the jaw, before being bitten in the shin by another puppy, which he promptly kicks in the jaw. Crackle hears the crack from this and comes over to crack the bones of the guy and the puppies, as well as the bones of Mister Otter, who was in the general area. Mister Otter dies from this, but that tends to not stop otters as a general statement. Crackle goes back to cracking the much more plentiful bones of the googles while the guy who likes kicking puppies struggles to stand up on his cracked leg. The googles have been using what little IQ they can get from Crackle to work on the bridge, but it isn't helping their progress too much. Dingus hears all of the commotion and shows the googles a picture of his Latias & Latios sighting, which gives them enough of an IQ boost that the bridge is almost completed, and the googles are so close to the college that they can almost lick the campus. Nearby there appears to be a dead body, but it's actually Bone Boy, the proud holder of the 24th spot on the skeleton leaderboards. Bone Boy gets out of his body bag sleeping bag and starts rattling bones, before noticing a strange "BUMP" sign in the distance. The googles grab the really normal guy and use his body as the last bit of the bridge, and begin fighting over who gets to cross first.
"Where the fuck is I at?" asks Mama Doom, who has no clue how she got here. The googles turn to Mama Doom and make a googles noise, before continuing their debate on who should cross to college. Three googles who are in fact each others Mormon half-brothers all manage to slip across the bridge unnoticed during the commotion, and the moment they touch the campus, they are snatched up by Uglierest Cultist, who brings them in to some weird building and injects them with the three sacred substances known as darkmatter, antimatter, and graymatter. Uglierest Cultist tries to name the googles after these substances, but the googles stop him from doing that, and just name themselves Pedro, Esteban, and Martinez, respectively. Uglierest Cultist grabs a fourth googles and injects it with all three substances at once, which does nothing, and the googles just falls into the gap between the bridge and the college.
"CURSE YOU GO GO GOOGLES!" shouts Uglierest Cultist as he watches Pedro, Esteban, and Martinez start slithering up a large red tower. Bone Boy also sees the tower, and starts climbing from the other side. Suddenly, from a nearby hole emerges Shruk, who is somehow a fusion of a bhear, a Jimbo, and a savage minion, despite being native to this Trifecta. Shruk starts walking towards the tower, on the way accidentally stepping on Actually the Actually and snapping him in two. Nobody comes to Actually the Actually's funeral, which is held the moment he dies. Shruk catches up to the googles and pokes Pedro, causing him to let out a Mexican screech before quickening his rate of sqwargling up the tower. Bone Boy seems to think that this is a race, so he starts climbing faster too, with the help of his body bag. Esteban and Martinez start giving themselves boosts to get up, but Bone Boy has already reached the top first, which lets him ascend to spot 23 on the leaderboard. Bone Boy also receives a grab bag as a reward, which contains the Ring of Not Being Able to Put Rings on Fingers, but he mistakes it for one of the mass-produced rings of keeping rings on fingers and throws it off the tower, causing the valuable item to drop to the ground.