Tuesday, 2nd of Summer

CW: pornography, masturbation, sex addiction, substance abuse, overdose, cancer, alcoholism, nightmares, trauma, death

TW: infidelity, rape

Alma opened her eyes and felt tears. She sighed, knowing now that it was a dream. She rubbed her eyes and sat up in bed. She remembered the hard days of her mother's chemotherapy and how her health deteriorated. It was always hard being reminded. But she knew she wasn't in pain anymore, and that brought her some comfort. She sighed again and pushed off the bed.

Alma stepped outside and went straight to her chest to get her watering can. She went first to see Bisclavret and give him his water, then she came back to water all of her plants. Everything was growing nicely, as far as she could tell. She went to the coop and gave the chickens some love before getting their eggs, then she went to the cave to pick up the mushrooms too. She did a quick walkthrough of the farm then went back to her chest to gather things for going into town. She got the spur for Gunther as well as mushrooms and eggs to sell to Pierre, then she headed down the road.

As she passed the clinic, she thought maybe she should go in and tell Dr. Harvey about her new kitchen. He would probably be excited to know about it. She stepped in and saw him standing by the door of the waiting room, going through some files at the front desk. Maru was there too, working behind the desk. "Ah, Ms. Alma! I was just about to write you a letter."

"You were? About what?"

"Well, you see, my records indicate that you're due for your annual checkup!"

"But … I've only been here one season."

"Well, okay, sure, maybe not due for an annual, but I've been looking at everyone's schedules for theirs and remembered you're not yet in the system. We need to change that, don't you think? Today can mark your first checkup, and then you can have your next one this time next year."

"Uh, well, I – "

"Now, now," he said with a smirk, "there's no need to be nervous. It'll be quick and painless. You may even get a lollipop when it's all said and done."

"Very funny," she said. "But can I ask - When you say 'annual checkup,' is this a women's health annual or …?" Maru's glance turned to Dr. Harvey quickly to see his response.

"Oh! Nonono, just a - just a regular wellness checkup. But - But if you need gynecological services, I can - I can certainly, I guess, re - refer you to a - "

"No no, that's quite all right. Just making sure."

"Okay, good," he said, almost as if putting himself at ease rather than her. He got some paperwork in a folder and put it under his arm. He held the door open and said, "Please follow me." She followed him into the back exam room. "Have a seat wherever you'd like," he said, placing the folder on the little counter. She climbed up on the exam couch, feeling the paper crunch beneath her as she sat. "If you don't mind, I'd first like to have you fill out this personal information at the top of the paper. It'll be faster if you fill it out yourself."

He put the paper on a clipboard and handed it to her, then he stepped out to let her finish. It asked things like her full name, birthday, contact information, emergency contacts …. As she was finishing up her father's home address, Dr. Harvey knocked on the door and came in. "Just finishing the last question," Alma said. She handed the clipboard to him, and he took a quick look at it. "Now you finally know how old I am," she joked.

"A few weeks younger than I am," he said, pulling up his rolling stool to the counter. "Now, let me ask you a few questions. First, do you have any health goals?"

"Um … being able to do more on the farm without passing out is always a good one. So maybe more energy?"

He nodded and took a few notes. "Do you have any allergies?"

"Not that I'm aware of, no."

"Any medical history?"

"Uh … for me personally? No, nothing major."

"How about in your family?"

"Oh boy, let's see," she chuckled, looking up in thought. Dr. Harvey looked up at her, ready to take notes. "Substance abuse in my brother and father, breast cancer in my mother, heart disease in my grandfather, diabetes in the other grandfather …. That's about all the big ones I know."

Dr. Harvey continued writing and asked, "Did any of these contribute to death - like the substance abuse or cancer?"

"The substance abuse, no, though my brother did overdose. But cancer, yes, my mother died of breast cancer about … thirteen years ago now, right after I finished college."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he said, looking up from the clipboard. "I, uh … lost my father to lung cancer. He was a smoker all his life. So I understand both the cancer a-and the addiction." Alma nodded slowly. "Do you take any medications?"

"No."

"Have you had any surgeries?"

"I had my wisdom teeth out, if that counts," she laughed.

"You don't need wisdom anyway," he joked. "How often do you drink alcohol?"

"Occasionally, socially."

"Do you smoke?"

"No."

"How often do you exer - I know the answer to that one. Farming is definitely physical exercise." He wrote quickly. "As for your nutrition, you eat … mostly fruits and vegetables?"

"Yes, in fact, the reason I came in today was to tell you my kitchen is finished!"

"That's great! So you should be able to have a more diversified diet now too, great." He took more notes.

"Yes, and I haven't forgotten that you're getting one of my first meals."

"That's too kind. You d-don't need to do that." He finished writing and then asked, "You've told me before that sleep is a big problem for you. Is that still true?"

She remembered her dream from the night before. "Yes, though it is improving."

"Tell me about it. Is the problem more with falling asleep, staying asleep, waking up often, or …?"

"Not so much falling asleep. Especially these days, pretty much as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm asleep. I don't usually wake up in the middle of the night, and I usually stay asleep until the sun comes up. But, yeah, I have nightmares pretty often."

"Didn't you say before that you were having nightmares nearly every night, but now you're averaging more like half the nights?"

"Yes, exactly."

"When did you start having nightmares?"

"They started, uh …." Dr. Harvey looked at her for her answer. She got pretty uncomfortable, and the paper crunched beneath her again as she repositioned herself. This was not necessarily how she wanted to tell him about this, but in order to talk about the origins of her nightmares, she needed to tell him the full truth. "Listen … there are some things you need to know about my personal life." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I used to be, uh … married." He put his pen down to listen to her more closely. "I met a guy in college, and we got married soon after we graduated. There were a lot of red flags about him that I didn't notice - or maybe chose to ignore. He had a, uh … a sex addiction. I didn't think too much about it at first. He watched porn and masturbated a lot, and I didn't think that was too unusual for a man. And early in our relationship, you know, we were … intimate a lot. But as he kept wanting sex, he started to - to demand it and, uh … sometimes wouldn't take no for an answer. And when I … when I couldn't perform for him, he would go somewhere - to someone else. The first time he had an affair, I thought we could work through it, and I thought it was my fault. But then he had another, and I started to notice the trend. He didn't think he had a problem; he said this was how men were wired. He blamed it on me, and I believed him for a long time. But soon I realized how he was - how he was a-abusing me." This was one of the only times Alma acknowledged all of this out loud, and she felt the anger and pain rising inside her. "So, uh, yeah, nightmares started pretty soon into our marriage."

"Ms. Alma, I … I feel like 'sorry' is not good enough to express my sympathy for the pain you must have felt. But I am so very sorry. That must have been incredibly difficult for you."

"Yeah, it … it was. It still is."

"I'm sure. So ... are most of your nightmares about sexual abuse then?"

"Yes. But I also get a lot of work stress dreams from my time at Joja, and I dream a lot about my family and just general death and violence too." She closed her eyes and saw her mom lying in her bed. "Like last night, I dreamed my mom was here at my newly renovated cabin, and she was on her chemo drip. She made breakfast for me and then started one of her coughing and vomiting fits and died as soon as I put her in my bed."

Dr. Harvey took some notes, shaking his head. "I'm really sorry, Alma. That must not give you very restful sleep."

"No, not really."

"What is your typical bedtime routine?"

"Uh …"

He looked up at her. "Do you have a bedtime routine?"

"Not really, no."

"Maybe that's something we can focus on to help you manage your sleep better. Do you know if anyone else in your family has had difficulty sleeping?"

"Not like I do, no, I don't think so."

He finished writing and then he put the clipboard in his lap. "I know that you've said your sleep has already been improving, but I would really like for you to see a mental health counselor about your past. She might be able to provide you with more strategies for managing some of the trauma you've had so that you can put this behind you for good."

Alma nodded. "That'd be nice. If you can recommend someone for me, I'll go talk to them."

"I certainly will. I'll make sure you get a referral before you leave today. And Ms. Alma, thank you so much for opening up to me. I know that is not easy to talk about." She nodded and looked down. "Hmm, okay," he said, standing up, "let's move on and take a look at some other things."

He got a few tools from his counter and stood in front of her. She could smell his scent of coffee and aftershave, and it both calmed her and made her more nervous. "Hold still, please." He rubbed just under her jaw and down her neck, and Alma didn't know where to look with him so close. She caught his eyes, she looked at his mouth, his mustache, his glasses, back to his eyes, his coat pocket, the buttons on his shirt, the pen in his breast pocket - then he stepped away. "No problems with the lymph nodes or thyroid." He held a light up to her eyes, and she looked at him past the light. "Your eyes look good." She blinked as he rolled to her side and looked in her ears. "Everything normal there. Say 'ahhh' …" Alma opened her mouth while he quickly pressed down on her tongue and looked at her throat, teeth, and gums. "Okay, you can stop, thanks. You have a lovely singing voice, though." He threw away the tongue depressor and put the other tools back. "I keep thinking that joke will work some day, but it, uh … it never does. Lie down please." She lay down on the bench and instinctively put her hands across her stomach, but he lifted them and placed them at her sides. "Sorry, I'm just going to palpate your abdomen." He used his fingers to tap around her stomach. "No problems there. You can sit back up now, thank you, ma'am." He went back to the counter to get a few other tools. "I just need to check your vitals." He put the earpieces of his stethoscope in his ears and placed the chest piece at her back. "Take a few deep breaths please." Alma closed her eyes to focus on her breathing. He moved it around while she breathed. "Okay, now breathe normally." She opened her eyes again and looked around to him. "Lungs sound good," he said as he rolled in front of her again. "May I have your hand, please?" He pressed on her wrist with the stethoscope and looked up at the clock. She watched his face. "Hmm … your pulse is high."

She wondered what she should say. That she was out of breath from working on the farm? That her pulse was actually fine? She had a naturally fast heartbeat? That bringing up the past brought on a wave of anxiety? That she had a crush on him? "I'm just a little nervous," she answered.

"Oh! Hospitals make you nervous, huh?" he said, smiling up at her, sounding a little skeptical.

She felt her face become warm. "Well, not so much the hospital but the - the exam itself."

He nodded, wrapping his stethoscope around his neck. "Just try and relax. I'm here to help. Plus, we're almost done. That lollipop is almost yours." He gave her a thermometer, and she placed it in her mouth while he wrapped a blood pressure cuff around her arm. He watched the gauge as the air hissed out of the cuff, and her thermometer beeped. "Blood pressure's fine," and he took the thermometer out of her mouth to take a look, "and temperature is normal. Well then!" He stood to put these things back and then retrieved her paperwork to make some notes. "You seem very healthy, Alma. Are there any other questions or concerns you have for me?"

She thought for a moment and shook her head. "No, not really. But I am keen to contact that therapist."

"Ah, yes!" He pulled out a prescription pad and wrote on it. "This is the counselor I send all my clients to. She was a classmate of mine, and she has a practice in Grampleton. Tell her I sent you, and she should get you in pretty quickly." He ripped the page off and handed it to her.

"Thank you very much."

"And Ms. Alma," he said, putting down his pen, "I also want you to know that you can always come talk to me. And I - I mean it. As your doctor, I'm available for patient care day and night; and as your friend, I've got an ear to listen w-whenever you need it. You don't need to feel alone."

She smiled. "I really appreciate it, thank you."

He nodded. "Anything else?" he asked with a smile.

She shook her head. "No, I think that will do it."

"Okay, well, just make sure not to overwork yourself on that farm. Let me walk you back up to the waiting room, and Maru will get you checked out.

"Oh, before we go," she said, standing up. He turned and saw her rummaging in her bag. She pulled out a sweet pea blossom. "Consider this a thank you for taking time to listen to me."

He accepted it with a smile. "That's such a nice gift. Thank you!"

"Of course," she said as she hoisted her bag on her back. "You may have to put my bill on a tab since I just bought a bunch of summer seeds, but consider this a down payment."

He led her down the hall and held the waiting room door open for her. "Maru will get you taken care of. Thanks for stopping in." They both looked up and saw Evelyn sitting patiently in the waiting room. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Mullner. Are you ready to come back?"

"Yes, Doctor," she said as she stood. As she passed Alma, she put a hand on her shoulder and said, "When you get to be my age, you have to see the doctor more often. Or maybe I should say, I get to!" she said with a little laugh as she looked at Dr. Harvey.

He shook his head with a smile. "See you around, Ms. Alma."

She waved and approached the desk. Maru looked up at her. "So a checkup and no prescriptions, right? Did he ask for a follow-up appointment?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Okay, we'll send the bill to your house. You're free to go!"

"Thanks Maru."

"I bet you're growing some interesting crops right now. Dad says a lot of exotic plants grow in the valley this time of year."

"Yeah, I am! Like some starfruit!"

"Ooh, that sounds good!"

"I guess we'll find out! See ya, Maru."

"Bye, Alma!"

She went next door, sold her things to Pierre for a good price, and was able to buy some hops before being practically broke again. She thanked Pierre and left to go to the museum. She gave Gunther the spur - a pretty uninteresting specimen - and took a little time to read two more lost books. One was an old farmer's journal, and she read a page about the value of building friendships in the town. The other was called How Deep Do the Mines Go?

"This question has been pondered by many Stardew Valley explorers over the years. … The truth is, no one really knows. Or at least, they aren't telling anyone.

Unfortunately, many of those who venture deep into the mines never return ….

However, there have been a few bold adventurers who have traveled deep into the mines and have resurfaced with interesting reports.

Apparently, there are three distinct areas in the mine, each with unique monsters and treasures. Some adventurers speak of gigantic underground lakes and strange creatures …. But none of these claims have been proven."

She was only in the first third of the mines? Those mines do get really deep! She assumed those "brave adventurers" were Gil and Marlon. She'd have to ask them more about it, if she got the chance.

"Can I take this one home, Gunther? And bring you the other one another day?"

"Fine by me, Ms. Alma. I know you're good for it."

As Alma started walking home, she wondered if there was anything else she could do before nightfall. She went to the beach and collected a few shells, and she noticed Alex standing on the shore, tossing his football up in the air. He turned and saw her, and she waved. "Hi Alex!"

"Um, it's … Alice, right?"

"Close. Alma."

"Alma, right, sorry."

"Don't worry about it. It's an unusual name that's hard to remember sometimes." She watched him toss the football from hand to hand. "What are you up to today?"

"I'm just enjoying this great weather, Alma."

"It is really nice," she said, looking out over the ocean. "I'm excited to see what the summer season holds."

He looked over at her with a thoughtful look then smacked his football in his hands. "Hey, go long!"

"What?"

"Go long! Let's see if you can catch it!" Alma jogged down the beach and saw the ball suddenly hurling toward her. She reached her hands out, but her fingers missed the ball. Alex laughed as they watched it hit the sand. "Nice try."

Alma laughed a little too as she went to pick up the ball. "There's a reason my brothers played gridball with each other and didn't want me to join in."

She handed the ball to him, and he clasped it in his hands, looking back out over the water. "I'm going to be the first professional gridball player from Stardew Valley. There's no doubt in my mind."

"Keep working at it, and maybe it will happen!"

"It will," he said more assuredly. "I already led my school's team to the regional playoffs …. Now I'm just training and getting stronger so I can claim my spot on the roster of the Zuzu City Tunnelers. You just wait!"

Alma saw the determination in his eyes and grinned. "I believe in you!"

He looked at her and smiled. "Thanks, Alma. I'll remember that." He tossed the ball up one more time and said, "Well, catch ya later!" as he started to walk back toward town.

"Yeah, see you, Alex!" She watched him as he got back on the bridge then, as she turned, she noticed the broken bridge on the east side. Three hundred pieces of wood …. She thought she might have that, or close to it. She hurried back to the farm, collected her wood, and cut down more trees until she had enough, then she rushed back to the beach. She constructed a small bridge that led to more of the sandy coastline. She found a purple sea urchin, some coral, and a beautiful rainbow shell too. She seemed to remember that urchin was part of one of the bundles, so on her way home, she went up to drop that off.

It was getting late now, so Alma decided to get home and plant the hops she had bought from Pierre. She was feeling tired, but she thought she could get the work done before two o'clock. She tilled the soil, planted the hops trellises, and watered them before she started yawning too much. "Okay, time to call it a night." She dropped her things off in the chests and went up the stairs, but on her way to bed, she passed out on the floor. Bisclavret lifted his head when she fell over, but he didn't seem too concerned. He kept sleeping.