Sylvester
[The scene opens with a view of the cliffside where Skarloey is seen pulling a passenger train up the mountain, followed by a shot of Thomas with Annie and Clarabel and Toby with Henrietta passing each other. It then cuts to a shot of Sylvester walking down the street. If you were to ever run into the tuxedo cat, it wouldn't be wrong to think of him as one of the unluckiest people in the whole city. One way or another, something would always be going wrong with him, whether or not through any fault of his own. Such instances include a shot of him being trapped in a structure of steel beams that fell from a crane, being distracted by an ad for fried chicken which causes him to fall into an open sewer with no warning sign, or pulling a Marilyn Monroe as the subway vents blow his fur up]
[the scene cuts to the inside of an apartment where a fan is slowly turning, panning out to reveal Sylvester laying down on the couch]
Sylvester: [sighs] It's so hot, I'm practically melting. Can't this fan go any faster? [presses the button on the remote, but the fan's speed only increases by a couple knots] Well, that hardly makes a difference. [presses on the button several times] Come on, just a little faster. [the fan finally begins to turn faster] Ah, that's more like it.
[the fan begins to wobble on the ceiling]
Sylvester: Um, I don't think that's right.
[the ceiling begins to crack]
Sylvester: Oh no, I just got that roof refitted.
[several bits of plaster crumble down on the couch]
Sylvester: OH! And I just replaced that couch! [tries to stop the fan by pressing the button] Ooooooh, why won't it stop? What kind of cheap thing is this?!
[the fan begins to sway on its hinge]
Sylvester: Hooooo, this is not good, not good at all!
[the fan breaks loose from the roof and begins to fly across the room all on its own, followed by a large chunk of plaster collapsing on Sylvester's couch]
Sylvester: HELP! What am I gonna do?! Where am I gonna go?!
[Sylvester runs back and forth across the room as the fan pursues him, it then cuts to a shot of the feline hiding under a table as the fan seems to miss him]
Sylvester: Oh, sufferin' succotash.
[the fan starts to tear through the table as Sylvester rushes out from under it and into the other room. Quickly, he dials the phone for repair services]
Sylvester: Hello, operator! I've got an S.O.S. on hand, repeat, S.O.S. on hand, can you hear me?!
[a voice comes through the other side, cutting to Yakko Warner at a desk]
Yakko: Yeeeeeello, and thank you for calling Air Bros. How may we be of service today?
Sylvester: Yes, I've got a fan on the loose, it broke free from my ceiling and-
Yakko: How did your fan break from the ceiling?
Sylvester: I don't know! It's got a mind of its own, and it's tearing up my-
Yakko: Okay, I'm registering you as a Code 1993, we-
Wakko: [snatches the phone from Yakko]-will be sending a repairman as soon as we can, just sit tight, my good man.
Yakko: Hey! I was in the middle of a call there!
Wakko: You took the last three, it's my turn now!
Sylvester: Um, hello, anyone?
Yakko: [tries to pull the phone back] I'm the better speaker!
Wakko: [pulls the phone back as well] I can sell more than you!
Dot: [picks up the phone while her brothers continue to bicker] We apologize for the delay, my brothers are currently being, how you say, dum-dums, please hold.
Sylvester: Wait, what?!
Dot: Thank you.
Sylvester: Nonono, I'm still-[hears the phone being hung up]-DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!
[the fan cuts through the door behind Sylvester]
Sylvester: AH, NOT AGAIN!
[the feline rushes to the window as the fan breaks through the door]
Sylvester: I'm trapped, what now?! [looks out the window to see the apartment ladder] Oooooooh, it's worth a shot. [pulls up the window and leaps onto the ladder just as the fan soars overhead] Haaaaaaa, finally, it's over…
[the ladder suddenly unhinges downward, sending Sylvester rocketing down before stopping three stories from the ground floor. The tuxedo cat anxiously looks down at the street below and gulps]
Sylvester: Oooooh, if only I had something soft to land on…[spots Marvin and Pete moving a mattress below him]...aha!
[Sylvester hops off the ladder and right onto the mattress, startling the martian and puma, twirls in the air, and lands on his feet]
Sylvester: A perfect landing. After all, cats always land on their-
[a splash of red paint drops all over the black and white feline, coating him in crimson. The scene cuts to Brain and Choo Choo painting over the apartment's sign]
Choo Choo: Hey, Brain, I need a little extra red on this letter here.
Brain: Durrrr, here ya' go.
[the orange cat hands the bucket over to the pink feline, only to find that it's nearly empty]
Choo Choo: What happened to the paint, this can's barely got anything for half a letter.
Brain: I dunno, maybe it spilled.
Choo Choo: I wonda' who's fault that was…[looks down at Sylvester]...uh oh. Sorry about that!
Brain: Durrrr, yeah, sorry, little slip of the brush.
Sylvester: [as the paint trickles off his nose] Why is it always me? Errrrrrr…
[the scene cuts to Sylvester reentering his apartment, finding it to be a complete mess; cracked roof, broken furniture, messy floor, walls slashed, shattered picture frames. The tuxedo cat just gives a heavy sigh before walking into the bathroom. He turns the crank on for hot water and then steps into the shower to clean the paint off]
Sylvester: Why am I the one with all the bad luck, if it's not one thing, it's certainly another. I'm not even a full black cat, I've got some white on me…[sighs]...what I wouldn't give for a lucky charm…
[the next day brings overcast skies and rain, lots and lots of rain. Sylvester is seen walking while Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash pass him on the other side. At that moment, Percy speeds by with a train of mail vans, kicking water onto the sidewalk, of which Sylvester is currently in the path for]
Percy: Oops! Sorry, Sylvester, I didn't see you there!
Sylvester: [spits out water] Of course you didn't…geeeeeugh, just my luck, init? Rainy day, measly umbrella, still soaking wet…
[suddenly, Sylvester trips over something and falls onto the pavement]
Sylvester: Ow! Who's leaving junk on the…huh? [looks to see that he tripped over a horseshoe] What's this doing in the middle of the street…[looks to his left, only to see Angelina and Alice walking away. Then looks to his right to see Thomas O'Malley and Scat Cat walking on the opposite side]...hmm, maybe…nah, who am I kidding, it's just some random junk…buuuuuut I guess since there's no owner, might as well keep it in my pocket…oh, joy…
[as Sylvester walks off, he is unaware of the puddle at the end of the sidewalk, but before he can step into it, an arm pulls out in front of him]
Pepe: Uh-bup-bup, lucky I caught you, mon bon monsieur, you almost got drenched, allow me to escort you across ze street.
[Sylvester blinks as he finds himself being carefully escorted to the other end of the street]
Pepe: There you go, mon cher, safely across, I bide you adieu. [gives a kiss to Sylvester's paw and struts off like normal]
Sylvester: Um…that was something…[shrugs]...it's Pepe, why question anything he does at this point?
[the scene cuts to Evergreen Station where Sylvester is standing in line at the ticket booth, behind him are Georgette, Prince John, Jinks, Lapis Lazuli, Double D, and Amy Rose. Gordon is at Platform One with the Express while Nia is sitting at Platform Three with her own coaches. After Charlotte takes her ticket, Sylvester walks up where Frankie the clerk arranges the feline's ticket only to scowl]
Frankie: Oh, dear.
Sylvester: What's "oh, dear"?
Frankie: Coach is full.
Sylvester: [sighs] Guess that means I'm missing my train after all.
Frankie: Not necessarily, just that we are gonna upgrade you to First Class.
Sylvester: [surprised] Oh, really?
Frankie: Yep. [hands the feline a Business Class ticket] Enjoy your trip.
[as Sylvester walks away from the ticket booth, Georgette and Prince John glance at him]
Prince John: I don't believe it, they'll give business class to any commoner these days.
Georgette: I just hope the coach remains intact if he's going to be in it.
[Sylvester walks up to the first coach on the train, guided in by the guard. He looks to his compartment number #4 and walks into it; red cushion seating, luggage racks, even a table with the menu for dishes. He settles down with a content sigh]
Sylvester: This day's turned out quite a bit…[looks toward the menu and finds the first course on the entrees section reading "smoked salmon & cucumber sandwich"]...mmm, first class has its perks.
?: I suppose it's lucky our compartment isn't #13.
Sylvester: Hmm?
[outside the room is a familiar red and purple striped feline, looking at Sylvester intently]
Sylvester: Um, hey there…you wanna sit down?
Katz: Yes…
[Sylvester watches Katz sit on the opposite side to him, all while keeping that hypnotizing gaze. The tuxedo cat can't help but feel a little unnerved as his guest remains silent. The shot cuts to Gordon whistling and beginning to set off from the station before cutting back to Sylvester and Katz staring at each other]
Katz: So…what brings someone like you to this side? Normally, a person of your status would be back in Economy.
Sylvester: Well, funny thing happened, economy was full, so I got upgraded to First Class. Call me lucky, I suppose.
Katz: Hmm, humorous…lucky indeed…almost convenient…
[the service attendent arrives in the form of Kipper, dressed in a red valet outfit]
Kipper: Afternoon, gentlemen, anything I can get for you?
Sylvester: Oh yeah, I'll take what's at the top; "smoked salmon & cucumber sandwich."
Kipper: Excellent, and you, sir?
Katz: The same thing…
Kipper: Of course, I'll be back in a bit, enjoy the ride.
[the shot cuts to an overhead view of Gordon crossing the viaduct while James passes by on the other line with a train of vans. It then cuts back to the inside of Sylvester and Katz's compartment, the former in particular patting his stomach in satisfaction]
Sylvester: [sighs] There ain't nothin' like Business Class, is there?
Katz: When you've been in it enough times, you get a certain feel after a while.
Sylvester: [pulls out the horseshoe] Ah, must be from this.
Katz: A horseshoe?
Sylvester: Yeah, ever since I tripped on the thing, I've had nothing but good luck, and what a time to come into my life.
Katz: Interesting…though I highly doubt that a horseshoe would be causing all your good luck.
Sylvester: Well, for as long as I've had it, everything's been going my way, so I think I'll hold onto this thing for…well, probably forever.
Katz: [rolls his eyes] Do whatever you like, not that I could stop you…
[the scene cuts to the Gordon arriving at Elm Station, with Spencer leaving in the opposite direction, and Daisy waiting at Platform Five. Sylvester is seen getting out from the coach and taking in the scenery of Elm Central, a destination spot reminiscent of Toon City's old days]
Sylvester: Well, no time like the present, in fact, I think I'll treat myself.
[a montage plays over Sylvester's travels, ranging from the best seating for a film in the theater, his choice of music being heard throughout the diner, and getting the last scoop of cookies and cream at the ice cream shop. It cuts to the tuxedo cat walking back along the path to the station]
Sylvester: [sighs contentedly] What a day it's been, I don't remember the last time I felt this good about myself. [yawns] Now's the time to head back home, I reckon.
[the scene cuts to the station where the passengers are boarding the express back to Evergreen. Sylvester follows Diaspro, Pink Panther, Jasmine, and Sally Acorn into the Business Class coach where he sits back down into the compartment in which he came from]
Sylvester: [yawns] Feelin a bit tired, init…maybe I'll just…take a catnap…
[Sylvester dozes off with a light snore, even as Gordon whistles and departs from the station back to the city…the feline's slumber is rudely interrupted as a sharp jolt causes him to fall onto the floor]
Sylvester: GEH! What happened, what's going on?
[the feline notices that the sky has become dark from the original evening hue, but the train has stopped in the middle of the line. Sylvester opens the window to find cows strayed across the mainline. Gordon at the front is none too pleased about the circumstances]
Gordon: Oooooh, the indignity, why is it always cows?
Sylvester: How long are we gonna be stuck out here?
Gordon: Till that blasted farmer comes to claim his cattle, the bloody git should put up a more sturdy fence to keep them secure…
Sylvester: [sighs…but then remembers] Wait, we'll be out of here sooner than later.
Gordon: Eh, what do you mean?
Sylvester: With my lucky horseshoe, a rescue will be here pronto.
Gordon: A lucky horseshoe? Where?
Sylvester: [digs through his pockets] It's right…wait, it's here somewhere…hold on, what…
[Sylvester shuts the window as Gordon rolls his eyes. The tuxedo cat desperately searches through the whole compartment]
Where is it? Where is it, where is it, where is it?! It's GONE!
[half an hour goes past before the cows are shooed off the line by a stern Barnyard Dawg. Gordon smiles at this, but inside the coach, Sylvester is anything but smiling, teetering back and forth]
Sylvester: It's gone, it's gone, I can't believe it, my one chance at good luck and it's gone…[groans]...just when things start to look up too…
[as the Express gets underway once more, Sylvester leans against the carriage window solemnly staring out at the passing dark countryside. As soon as the train pulls into the station, Sylvester exits from the coach and silently makes it back to his apartment. Upon entering the room, he silently makes his way over to the couch and plops down on it]
Sylvester: Oh well, guess it's back to the same old same old…[looks up at the still cracked ceiling]...yeah…
[the next morning, Sylvester gets out of bed as usual, giving a heavy sigh as he makes his way over to the bathroom. He looks into the mirror with a stoic expression before splashing his face with water. The scene then cuts to him exiting the apartment before a crash is heard. The feline looks to see a grand piano come loose on the support, rolling towards him. Instead of running out of the way, Sylvester just stands to brace for impact…only for the piano to come just inches away from hitting him. He opens his eyes cautiously to see himself still in one piece]
Sylvester: Huh? Strange, that thing would have normally run over me by now.
[at that moment, Marvin and Pete come running up the street]
Marvin: My apologies, earthling, we were lifting the piano onto a truck when someone forgot to pull his end without getting distracted.
Pete: I wasn't distracted, I just saw this really pretty butterfly, like you shoulda seen it.
Sylvester: Huh…I mean, no one got hurt, specificially me, so there's no harm done.
Marvin: I see…well, let's get this piano back, and this time, keep your mind on the task.
Pete: Sure I will, I was built for heavy lifting.
Marvin: [as the two roll the piano back] Not with that figure, you aren't…
Sylvester: Well…maybe luck is just a thing that happens…I think I'll treat myself…
[Sylvester walks off with a strut in his step before the scene cuts to similar circumstances from the beginning with the tuxedo cat lying down on the couch beneath the fan]
Sylvester: [sighs] Turn this up a notch…
[Sylvester presses a button on the remote for it to speed up and this time it does…as soon as it starts to wobble, Sylvester pulls out a rifle aimed at the fan, causing it to straighten up]
Sylvester: Much better…I wonder, whatever happened to that horseshoe…
[the scene cuts to a dark room with a single lamp shining on the desk. A horseshoe is placed under it, a few marks of red visible. The shot pans up to reveal Katz]
Katz: I feel very…lucky today…
The End