off to work we go

Stella stood in front of the mirror in her and Kelly's bedroom, staring at her outfit. She was dressed in her uniform and even though she'd tucked and untucked her shirt about four times already, it still didn't feel right. It wasn't anything physical—Stella had luckily lost all the baby weight by six-weeks postpartum and although her breasts were fuller now than they were before pregnancy, her clothes still fit fine.

No, the problem was more mental than physical. It was Stella's first shift back after her maternity leave and she was stressed. Per Kelly's suggestion, her first few shifts back would be 12 hours instead of the usual 24, but the thought of being away from Maya that long was terrifying to the new mom.

With a frustrated sigh, Stella untucked her shirt and started tucking it in again. She blinked rapidly, desperately trying to keep the tears welling in her eyes from falling. Of all the things that had come as a part of pregnancy and postpartum, the crazy hormones were probably Stella's least favorite thing.

"Babe?" Kelly stuck his head in the room. "Hey, Sadie just got here. You ready to go?"

Stella turned to look at him and when Kelly saw the tears in his wife's eyes, he stepped inside the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He walked over to Stella and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close. "You OK?"

"I didn't think going back would be this hard." Stella mumbled, face pressed into Kelly's chest. "It feels wrong."

Kelly nodded and rubbed Stella's back. He remembered his first shift back at the firehouse after Maya was born. It had been the longest shift of his life. "You don't have to come back if you're not ready. You still have a few weeks of leave you can use."

"No, I want to save those in case something happens and I need them later." Stella mumbled before leaning away from Kelly and wiping her eyes. "It's just 12 hours. I can do this."

She moved away from Kelly and finished packing her bag with everything she'd need for the next several hours. Shift days were unpredictable; they could be quiet and slow or they could be hectic and busy with barely any downtime. Stella was hoping for the latter. The busier she was, the less time she had to think about and miss Maya.

Once Stella was ready, she and Kelly left the bedroom to join Sadie and Maya in the living room.

Sadie had been their savior. She came highly recommended by Chloe, having been little Otis's babysitter for the first year plus of his life. Now that he was going to daycare fulltime, Sadie needed another job and Kelly and Stella were more than willing to let her do a practice run with Maya.

Maya adored Sadie, Sadie adored Maya, and Kelly and Stella felt comfortable with Sadie watching and loving on their little girl when they couldn't.

Sadie was standing in the living room, a sleepy but smiley Maya in her arms.

"Hey Sadie," Stella greeted as she walked over. Sadie handed Maya to Stella and she hugged the baby tightly. "She ate just before you got here so she should be good for a while. There's bottles already made in the fridge that should last her until I get back but there are some bags in the freezer if she needs more."

Sadie nodded with a smile. Kelly had given her the rundown when she arrived, even including how nervous Stella was about the day, so she didn't mind that she was getting the information twice. Stella had been with Maya every single day of her little life so far and now she was having to leave her for twelve (maybe more) straight hours. Sadie couldn't imagine how difficult that must be for the new mom. She'd listen to the same instructions 50 times if it made Stella feel better.

"Bottles in the fridge, more milk in the freezer. Got it."

Stella continued, running her fingers over Maya's short curls. "You have both of our numbers and the number to the firehouse. Call or text one or both of us if you have any questions. If we don't answer, call the firehouse and talk to Kylie. She can get ahold of us if we're out on a call."

Sadie nodded again and Stella sighed. She peppered Maya's face with kisses and whispered a goodbye before handing her back to her babysitter. Sadie took her expertly in her arms and rocked her gently.

Kelly put a comforting hand on Stella's back. "You ready to head out?"

"No," Stella shook her head. Her eyes were shining once again with unshed tears. "But if I don't leave now, I never will."

With a kiss to her temple and a whispered 'you got this Stella Kidd", Kelly led Stella out of the loft and down to the parking lot. Saying goodbye to Maya had taken longer than expected, and they were cutting it close time-wise, but Kelly didn't think Boden would mind.

… … …

By the time she and Kelly arrived at the firehouse, Stella had collected herself. Physically leaving Maya behind had been the hard part and now that she had conquered that challenge, she was excited and ready to get back to work.

Nothing cemented that fact more than the excited yells and bone-crushing hugs she received from Brett and Violet when they saw her coming up the apron. She'd missed this over the past three months. Sure her friends and teammates had stopped by for visits, taken her out to lunch, and constantly texted and called, but being with them at the firehouse was different.

Brett and Violet each grabbed one of Stella's arms and walked with her into the firehouse, leaving Kelly trailing behind them with an amused smile on his face.

The welcome back cheers continued as Stella entered the firehouse and met the others. Her cheeks hurt from the big smile on her face as she hugged each of her teammates.

It was like no time had passed as Stella settled back into the flow of the house seamlessly. Apart from sneaking away to pump in Kelly's office during a few moments of downtime between calls, things were normal.

Between months of light duty, desk duty, and maternity leave, it had been close to a year since Stella suited up in her turnouts. As she put them on for their first call that day, she basked in the familiarity. There was something different about wearing them though, they felt heavier as if the reality of the job had just hit her.

Before Maya, Stella only worried about losing Kelly or Kelly losing her. Now though, there was the chance that Maya could lose one or both of her parents.

It was something she and Kelly had discussed when she was pregnant, after he'd had a close call on shift. Stella knew that, if necessary, both she and Kelly would change careers in a heartbeat. They'd leave firefighting behind forever if it meant Maya would grow up with both of her parents.

The mental and emotional weight of her job wasn't unexpected but it still managed to catch Stella off guard. Despite the way she felt earlier, Stella wasn't ready to give up firefighting yet and she knew Kelly wasn't either, regardless of how many offers Van Meter made for him to go to OFI.

As Stella climbed into the driver's seat of the truck, and heard the playful squabbling of her teammates, she was reminded that the members of 51 were a family and they would always try their hardest to make sure everyone made it home.

… … …

Stella's muscles were screaming by the time she got home after her twelve hours were up–carrying her 11 pound baby around all day had nothing on wearing 75 pounds of turnouts and equipment for hours at a time.

After sending Sadie home and getting Maya fed, bathed, and asleep in her crib, Stella settled herself into a nice warm bath to ease the aches and pains. It had been a long day. Finding the balance between working and being a good, present mom would take time but with her husband and her team behind her, Stella knew she could do it.

A/N: look at me, back again with a new Maya story instead of finishing one of the 5 I already had started 😅

I'll get to them eventually. I promise!