Chapter 46 - 09/12/2023

Death. Everyone has different experiences. Everyone reacts differently when the ones they love passed. Some can overcome it easily. Some needs more time. It has been a long time but some things cannot be forgotten. That look of regret and guilt is showing again just like when Brooke passed away. Not wanting to talk is normal. Need time to overcome is normal but for someone who had shown herself to be more courageous than many men, it's unusual for her to be afraid of meeting with her ex. Pretending as if nothing happened when something obviously did is normal behavior for anyone who doesn't want others to know but not wanting to get out of bed indicates there's something wrong. There are no signs of a cold but there are signs of

"sss"

Pain.

"sss" Lucy jerked back to avoid being touched again after getting a burning sensation that's more painful than the last. Faith is good at what she does but the last dab on the face seems intentional. There was more pressure.

"It's not going to be a scar but it could turn to a long dark line. So make sure to keep it clean, cover it up, put these on every night, and stop drinking."

Everything Faith said makes sense except the last advice. This is water not wine. I didn't drink last night. I fell because the ground was slippery. It did seem like a good explanation last night but if she thinks the fall was due to alcohol consumption, then that would work too. There's no need to tell her that it wasn't because no one needs to know what really happened and that includes Jake. But it was impossible to hide everything from him since he showed up before the time is up and saw the mess inside the room to figure out that a heated argument took place. The cuts didn't come from the broken bottles and wine glasses either. That's what he thought so there was no need to correct him since it's not important. What's important is to make him promise not to tell anybody which didn't work since he works for Anthony. But that's not the only reason. He said. The main reason is because he still has regrets for what happened the last time in Honolulu even though he was only following orders but the fact that he sensed something wasn't right and didn't do anything about it is the reason why he's not willing to hide it from Anthony which is understandable. I scared the hell of out Adalyn too. But what the heck did he say to him? Anthony has been unusually quiet.

"Hurry up, we're going to the lighthouse. You have to go too. You can't sleep all day. It's not good for the brain."

And Faith is again acting like Brooke. She's right though. Sleeping too much did gave me a headache. It didn't help with memory recovery either. Shoot. Forgot to ask her about last night. That can wait but Anthony no longer can since he's taking this opportunity after Faith left to express his 'not so nice' side. What the fuck did you do? sounds like an accusation so what did Jake say to him? "nothing"

"She's a nurse. You don't think she knows the difference between a cut and fingernail scratch?"

(sigh) He's right. It is stupid to think that Faith wouldn't know even if the ones on the hands look like razor blade cuts. The one on the cheek doesn't. She didn't ask for more information probably because she knew it's personal and she wouldn't get the truth. The truth is the slap happened so fast, it was impossible to avoid Ezz's sharp and pointy fingernails. The truth is there is no sex video or nude pictures or anything like that but she has a secret that she doesn't want anyone to know. The truth is: "She…knew. Ein doesn't." Shocking. Isn't it? Not only Ein, nobody else does. That's what Ezz said after failing to kill me with the wine bottles, glasses and everything she could find. Hiding in the bathroom was a cowardice act but it's the only way to get her to calm down which took a while for a very good reason. "She thought I was pretending." That's all he needs to know. Everything else is none of his business. He's not the nosy type but he can be when he's bored. This time, that's not the reason. It's because he's worried that Ezz is like his ex who's now a trans-man. It's because he's worried that I would end up like him.

"Call her. Tell her what she wants to hear. And don't think it's not possible." Anthony said before leaving to get ready.

It's not possible. CJ is lying, although there's no reason for CJ to lie. Damn it. Lucy quickly went back to the bedroom after telling Faith to wait. Calling Amy can wait too. First find out if it's true. Nadia would know.

Canada

Iceland, the land of ice and fire, is famous for its stunning natural landscapes, glaciers, volcanoes, and geysers. It's also one of the "freest" countries of the world and has the world's first elected female president Madam Vig…dis Finn bog..add..ot, otter. There's no standing army, no…oh this is interesting, there's no Big Mac, no McDonald's. Did you know that? And…it says here, people there are very open-minded. Nudity is normal and verrry acceptable, what does that mean?…And…listen to this, it's one of deee most sexual-

"What?" Amy just came in and now wondering why CJ suddenly talking stopped talking and Nadia stopped eating.

"Did you know Iceland doesn't have McDonald's?"

"so?" Amy is still not sure why CJ is asking and continuing with the topic of Iceland until Nadia explained that the conversation is being recorded so it can be used for Will since they're running out of things to say which does make sense, kind of. Doctors did say talking to comatose patients can help. Information about Iceland won't do any harm but why is she talking about Bryan? "You're back together?" It would be strange if they are since CJ hasn't mention Bryan for months and she has been very open about personal stuff since that night. They're not together but they're still texting each other?

"He's in Iceland. She's there too." CJ said. The last part was added intentionally to see if she knew since she said before she doesn't know so was that the truth or was she told not to tell anyone or did she just find out now? It's hard to tell since she's acting like she doesn't care, just pouring herself a cup of coffee. "Look at this. Isn't this beautiful?"

Amy takes a look at the video in the phone. There's Bryan, unrecognizable with everything covered from head to toe, inside of a cave covered with blue ice and walking out of the opening with the sun shining in the distance.

"He said he wants to go and if I want to, we can go there together."

Oh, so that's not Bryan? Then who was that? Whoever it is is not important since it looks like CJ is having second thoughts. "If you want to go, you can." She should know she can leave anytime she wants to so why does she look offended?

"He said winter not now."

Winter time would be a better time to see the ice caves but does she not understand Bryan's motive? Wait. CJ is not dumb. CJ has said before she doesn't need a man. If she goes there now, it will show Bryan that she does. "You want him to crawl back to you?"

"No"

That's one quick no, spoken with certainty. But Nadia is smiling and nodding at the same time which is quite funny since she's making fun of CJ. It has been a long time since she laughed this loudly. CJ is still denying it but the way she quickly went back to texting showed that it could be true. The way she's laughing seems like they're flirting via texting…or maybe they're sexting? And now she's in shock.

"What did he say?" One moment CJ is laughing, the next her jaws suddenly dropped. Did he propose? He didn't. Nadia realized how ridiculous that thought was after getting an explanation and would've asked CJ to get more details about Bryan's incident if Amy didn't just picked up a call. It's not because she's interested but to steer Amy away from thinking that it could be true. Now it's more important to listen in to see who Amy is talking to but it's difficult to tell without following her into the living room which she can't do without getting caught eavesdropping. But one thing is certain even if she couldn't hear, that can't be Lucy. Now without Amy here, there's no need ask about Bryan's incident but there's a need to ask "Why did you say that?"

"Say what?"

Sometimes CJ can be so brilliant since she's the one who found out that Kato's vet is interested in Amy, then came up with a plan to get Lucy back here by letting Anthony know. Then sometimes, she can be so insensitive and clueless like now. Making her laugh was probably Bryan's intention since he admitted to being an idiot after saying he almost got slapped by a woman for rejecting her advances since he thought she was a prostitute or an undercover cop pretending to be one. It would've been funny if she didn't also say that Bryan recently just found out that Icelandic women are known to be very open and it's normal to ask for sex first before dating.

"Now she's going to think she could be cheating on her." Nadia said, then realized CJ did so deliberately to see how Amy would react. Ohh. The result was surprising and disappointing. CJ could be right. The lack of emotion and interest could mean the former blonde agent is at that point where she no longer cares what the former criminal leader does.

Iceland

Calling Nadia can wait too since a more important call just rang. It came sooner than expected and so is the answer. No one needs to know but unfortunately, it's impossible to keep it from Anthony since he's the only one who can help. Scud can too but he might not be able to hide it from Janet. If Janet knows, then Amy would too so there's no need to get him involved. Besides, five mil is not a lot. Anthony doesn't think so either which is why he needed more information first. Why 5 not 50? is a good question. The answer is simple. It's because he misunderstood. Ezz knows what I am, not who I am. Ezz is not like Aria or his trans-x. This is not extortion. It's a deal that costs 5 million Euros and very worth it. No one else can know about this because "She's…the key to finding the key." Maybe? Okay, that is stupid. Of course Ezz has nothing to do with the key.

"What drugs are you on?"

None. But he's right. The effects of drugs can last for months. Last night proved it. He's also right about Ezz being different from other women. How many lawyers can dance like a professional dancer? Even if it was erotic, the moves matched perfectly with the rhythm and beat. Only someone who had experiences could do that. Only a smart person could become a lawyer. So why would someone as smart as she is accept a job years ago to do whatever is necessary to deter others including her own brother from finding out what I am? For money? She's not a prostitute. Why was she acting like one last night? For Ein? If that's true, she's not a very good lawyer. At least now, she knows a promise means nothing.

"She's here."

"Okay" Lucy hung up the call from Bryan while sitting on the couch, then let Anthony know to get ready. The reasons given didn't persuade him but it got him interested. But he has to be out of his damn mind to think that I would let him put a bug in here so he can listen in. No way! But there's no harm in letting him see Ezz in person.

"Is this necessary?" Ezz said in frustration.

Not really. But Anthony wants to and is doing a great job in pretending to be a bodyguard, searching thru her handbag, dumping everything out and scanning everything using a metal detector. What's he thinking now? Is he thinking she's like Brooke? Icelandic women are known to speak their mind but not all has the guts to do anything else. But she does. "You can go." He better go before she slaps him with her sharp pointy fingernails for looking at her like a perv.

Lucy locked and bolted the door while aware that Ezz is again looking around like last night. Is she making sure there's no one else or is she looking for cameras? This is a bigger place than Bryan's room. If there are any, none would be able to be seen by the naked eye. Doesn't she know that? Where's she going? Icelandic women are different especially lawyers. She's acting like this is her place. "um…okay…you may" Lucy said while knowing that Ezz wouldn't have heard since she already went into the bathroom. Well, that's rude. She didn't even ask if she could use it. That's odd too since she's behaving like someone who has the upper-hand. Well, she'll find out later she doesn't. And Anthony will find out later he's wrong about her. Oh, here she comes. There's no need to text back since it's just a warning from Anthony, a very inappropriate one (Don't make the same mistake I did.) He still has regrets about the one-night stand which is understandable. But why the heck would he think that's going to happen? This is an entirely different situation. For one, he was looking for a mate. I'm not. And two, Ezz looks very pissed off right now. "You okay?" There are no wine bottles or glass cups, just plastic bottles of water. She can't be pissed off about that. She should know why.

"How would you feel if you were me?"

Okay. She's still pissed about last night. Understandable. She's going to be more pissed about this. Five mil isn't a lot but she should know it will cause suspicion if her bank accounts suddenly got that much money. Besides, giving it to her all at once would only let her know how easy this is and she might increase the amount. That's what Anthony said. She might not look like Aria but who knows? It would be better to give it to her in portions, once a month. This way, it will be a legal contract. "I was able to get 8000 Euros. Tomorrow, I'll-" Jesus! That's one hard slam on the coffee table. Lucy regretted not listening to Anthony after getting hit with the opened bottle of water. He did say don't get so close and get rid of all the glass bottles but he didn't say get rid of the pen! "wait" Okay. That hurt a little. Words don't hurt especially when it's spoken in a foreign language but this time, she has an idea what Ezz is saying because Niki had once used the word 'hora' towards Ezz's ex when he was forced to hump his buddy, naked.

"You piece of shit!"

Okay, that needs no translation. Clearly, she misunderstood the need for the contract and the purpose of the 8000 Euros since she didn't ask for that. Lucy picked up the scrunched up contract from the floor before explaining. "This would allow me to give you the money legally. There are no hidden clauses. It doesn't say you have to do anything. I just need you to tell me everything we did, to help me remember. And that's for you to pay your bills and Ein's, for now. You'll get it all by the end of this year. I just need more time." Hiring her as a lawyer is Anthony's idea and he's right. Even if it is just a fake contract, it will show what kind of person she is. What will she do now?

"Thank you."

Okay, that's better but it doesn't sound like she meant it.

"Thank you for saving me again. Thank you for your generosity. I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for making me feel like a whore...again."

"I wasn't, I would never-" Okay, I should just let her finish. Lucy kept her mouth shut while taking a few steps back to keep the distance between them since talking back will not be able to get her to calm down. Who can calm down after finding out that the one whom she had sex with numerous times actually can't remember who she is. Who can get over it in one day? Even if she did accept the offer, it doesn't mean she can just forget everything that happened from a decade ago, especially what happened last night even though technically, sex didn't happen. But to her, she'd disagree.

"…You never said where you went, you never said when you'll be back, sometimes you left for weeks, sometimes for months. Each time you came back, you expected everything to be the same and every time you left, you left money, nothing else. So stop saying you would never because you did."

She sounded like Brooke before with her fearless attitude but now she sounds like Aria. I expected sex every time? That can't be true. Every time is how many times? That's one question that can't be asked. "Sorry" An apology is not admitting to have treated her like a whore. It's solely for the purpose to calm her down. "I can't remember."

"That doesn't mean you didn't."

Yea well, that doesn't mean I did either. Lucy kept this thought to herself since it would not be wise to make her more upset than she is right now. "I'm sorry it took me this long to remember you." Apologizing seems to work. "It's not just you. I don't remember the ones I love, those I hate, anything that happened after 18." Confused? Shock? Or is she thinking I'm still lying? "but I know there's one thing that hasn't changed. I would never force anyone to be with me." She should know that's true. Last night, she initiated it. She wanted it. But no one wants to hear the truth. That includes her. She's not looking for things to throw but the closed fist shows she's trying to control herself. Those tightened jaws show that she's thinking of what she can do. "I meant I would never hurt anyone, not intentionally." Okay, that's not good enough. "I meant I would never-" Lucy didn't continue since Step#2 is here and right on time too. "he's here"

"Who?"

Now that's intentional, not to hurt her but to find out what she's thinking. Fearless of everything, she's not. She's probably scared to death of Ein finding out about this deal. Five million wasn't the original offer. It's what she requested so most likely, she didn't tell Ein since she came alone.

"Have you eaten yet?" It's not Ein. It's just room service with dinner for two. That's not a look of surprise so she must have had this before. So that could mean she's upset with the breakup not because I treated her like a prostitute. Break-ups are hard to overcome especially for the one who doesn't want to. It can turn love into hate. In her case, it probably made her think that it was never love since she was getting paid to do a job and because she was getting more money than she was hired for, it made her feel like a prostitute. That's probably what happened. It's happening now. If she just accept the money as help and nothing else, then she wouldn't feel this way. "I can't remember what you like. Do you want to order something else?" Maybe she already ate? "It's not fish." That could be the reason. Icelanders are probably sick of it. Okay. Step 2 accomplished. She needs the money. Now let's just take the wine bottle away. A romantic dinner without wine would not be romantic. Half glass should be more than enough and there's no need to wait to ask: "Have we done this before?" No? Oh. There goes that theory. No romantic dinner? Then what the hell happened? Why the hell would I sleep with her if I didn't love her? It can't be because I'm drunk. She said numerous times not once. "Sso I've never bought you flowers?" How is that possible? "Are you allergic to flowers?" That could be the reason but she wouldn't be this close to them if she is. Wait..a minute. "This is fake" The roses in the vase are fake. What the heck. "What a cheap-"

"This is Iceland. What do you expect?"

Oh. That makes sense. Money can't buy everything. But money can change moral.

"I'm not expecting anything…just you…talking…to me…like you used to…when you're not mad at me." Okaay. That is a ridiculous request. This is going to be one awkward dinner. Awkwardness is expected though. "so, how did we meet again?" Last night, she said she was paid to keep the secret from everyone and was told to pretend we don't know each other in front of those she doesn't know. She didn't say how she was able to keep it from Ein and others. It wouldn't be difficult to do so though. One way is by telling them we had sex. With her past history with her jerk ex, no one would question it. Don't want to explain? That's fine. It's not important. But this is. "You said Ein found out. What do you mean by that?" Ein did say I treated her like a prostitute. Did he find out I was paying her? Payment with sex can be misinterpreted but she said it's not like that and she didn't tell him so how did he find out?

"I'll tell you after."

Oh now she sounds like a lawyer. "You know, I can always ask Ein." Ooh, she doesn't look so hot right now. Those eyes are looking up like they're preparing to shoot laser if they could.

"You do and the deal is off."

This is why everybody hates lawyers. Does she really think that would work? "I'm not a lawyer. We all lie when it's necessary but this is the truth. Whether I can or cannot remember, it doesn't matter to me but it matters to a doctor who thinks that this" Lucy pointed to her own brain. "can help her patients. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a scientist. I don't know what the heck she's talking about." Sometimes all it takes is the truth but the truth without details can be confusing, so confusing that it gave her the idea that I'm sick? How the hell.

"Is it life-threatening? How long? You better tell me now."

That's what she's thinking? What will she say if I said yes? Let's see. "I have brain aneurysm that can burst at any time."

"I don't believe you."

Okay. She's as smart as she looks. Let's try this. "It's clipped. It's safe...for now but you know doctors, they're just guessing. Who knows? I could get hit by a car tomorrow or giant rocks of hail. The weather here is so crazy, anything can happen. I accidentally slipped the other day near the waterfall. I could've seriously injured my head again and fall off the cliff. Or maybe, your ex could be planning to kill me right now." It wasn't meant to be a joke. She didn't find it funny either. But she should get it now. Tell me everything now before it's too late.

"Then I advise you to stay inside and change your disguise. Why are you still wearing that?"

Bad advice, good question. "because men cannot keep their hands to themselves, you know that." She should. She's still very attractive and she must have had the same experiences as every beautiful women. Yup. She understood. Nothing to say means she does. "Is that why you want to be a lawyer?" Knowing the law helps. Many women who have been touched inappropriately are too afraid to make a scene. Most don't want to deal with the police. That's why perverts continue to do so in public because they know they can get away with it. "Is that how we met? I saved you from a pervert. Didn't I?" She did say I saved her again so-

"You're the pervert."

Whaaat? Unless she meant looking. Looking is harmless. Touching is not. No more details are given so it must be just that. "So that's why you went into law?" Ah-ha. I knew it. She didn't say no so that means yes and it's definitely not because of me. Men became lawyers for money. Women do it to prevent themselves from being taken advantage of and of course money and most likely, that's not what she really wants to do. "What you really want to do is be a dancer." Uh oh. Those laser eyes are switched on again. I am right. "I'm impressed. That was verry good. I mean, I don't mean it that way, I meant professionally, it was very good, the timing to every note, every beat was perfect, not that I know anything about dancing but I know how to play the guitar so I know the timing has to be right, the fingers have to be in the right spot the right time like the way you-" What the heck is in this wine? Faith is right. Better stop drinking. It's doing something to the brain. Either that or it's the long lasting effects of the drugs from Doc that is causing the images of the semi-naked erotic dancer from last night to suddenly appear. It's time to move away and get a cold drink of water. Anyways, dinner is done. It's not that good and she's still here, taking her time with each bite and sip of wine as if she's thinking of what to do. Damn you Anthony. How the hell does he know? He had said before she's not going to sign the contract which is predictable. But he also said if she's holding back, that could mean she doesn't want me to remember because she knows I wouldn't give her the money if I can and that could be because she doesn't want me to know that she knows who I am or she had tried to kill me before or both. It's also possible she made up this story since she knows there's no reason why I would give her the money. It's just a speculation but it made a lot of sense. But what about last night? Was that all a pretense? She was prepared to go all the way. She knelt on the floor. She was going to do what Amy would never do. That was her in the dream that night when Brooke revealed who she is. Was it just a dream? Is everything a lie? One thing is certain. She's doing this for money.

There's only one way to find out. Go to the bathroom first. It's not just to use it but to see if Ezz will still be here. Yup. She is. She's no longer sitting but is looking thru the panoramic window. Some of the lights have been turned off too. (sigh) What is she waiting for? Is she waiting for me to make a move? Okay then. "May I?" The answer is obvious. One point for Anthony. But it is just a dance. It doesn't mean she'll do anything else. "One sec" Not one sec, but five seconds is needed to put the music on. Okay. This feels strange though. It's not because slow dancing with a professional dancer is different from anyone else. It's because this brought back memories of Amy, Brooke, and the megastar. Bad idea but this needs to continue. "Have we done this before?"

"yes"

Two points for Anthony. A simple answer and nothing else shows that she's responding only to show that she's not lying. "Was it here?"

"You remember?"

Is that a look of fear? Tell me everything now. No? Okay then. Let's continue. "You looked like you knew where everything is." Is that a sigh of relief? It's hard to tell since she's looking away as if to prevent the truth from being seen on her face and the way she took this moment to step closer and put both of her arms on my shoulders instead of being held seems deliberate too. Most likely, it's not just to hide her face. It's to think of what to do next.

"You don't remember anything at all?"

Ooh. Another point for Anthony. He did say if she has something to hide, she's not going to say anything until she finds out what I know. That's what con-artists do. That's what an experienced con-artist would do. Asking this question shows she's desperate.

"I remember you. I mean just you, like I know you, that's all, nothing else." If Anthony is right, she should be happy about it. She's no longer hiding her face but that's not a smile. That's a look of waiting for more information. Okay then. "I don't remember anything else but I do believe you." This should lessen her worry if she is lying. "I didn't before because after the accident, I met someone. She said the same thing you did." Yup. That is odd. "But I know she's lying because I can't remember her."

"That doesn't mean she is. You didn't recognize me, remember?"

She's definitely not lying about this. That's the look of disappointment. That's the proper reaction for anyone who just found out their ex had another lover. "She's not. I know she's lying because she's not my type. You are." Get it? It's inappropriate but it's necessary and it's true. There's nothing unappealing about her. Not now but maybe she has changed a lot since then. Now she should know why I had her followed.

"You left me."

Another point for Anthony. She's obviously trying to make me feel bad.

"I can't remember but know this, I would never, never make love to anyone I don't love." Sex and love aren't the same. She used the word sex numerous times but never love. So maybe the break-up caused her to forget the good times. Hate can cause people to become irrational.

"Do you say that to all the women you had sex with?"

There's the word sex again. "I meant-"

"You didn't know who I was last night, so I'm pretty sure all you wanted was sex."

"I-" Oh, what's the point. There's no point in letting her know why I let it happen. No one wants to hear 'I remember you when you were on top of me.' Maybe last night was part of her plan, not sure why though. But Aria did the same thing, not exactly the same thing but her motive is the same. Money. It's possible. She's hot. She's smart. And like Anthony said, she doesn't have the look of innocence like Faith and Nadia so don't believe everything she said since there's no way to prove it if I can't remember. So, let's just get this over with.

Lucy walks back to the coffee table to put the envelope with the 8000 Euros in her handbag.

"You said I never tell you when I'd leave so I'm telling you now. I will be leaving very soon. I will not be coming back. I would like to remember but if I cannot, it doesn't matter but obviously it matters to you." Should I tell her what Anthony said? "I truly do want to help you but I can't…trust you." She's thinking again. That's not good. Anthony is right. He won. (sigh) "I'll have Jake take you-"

"All right! Fine! You win!"

It worked. Good. But why does she keep saying that?

"Blue Lagoon. That's where I first saw you. You, like the rest of the perverts, were looking at me like you've never seen a woman before."

Does she want the money or not? Calling me a pervert is not a good strategy.

"Then I saw you again…at the Phallological Museum. Ein and Asta were there too. You made them laugh so loudly, everyone was looking. You remember what you said?"

Is she seriously waiting for me to answer that? Okay. "peanuts, anyone?" Did she get that? "the nut not the other nuts" Okay, she got it but obviously she didn't find that funny since she's more concerned with making a correction to the joke. Faith would've found it funny and would not have said "It's not a nut. It's part of the pea family." even if she knows. Is this why I left her? No sense of humor and if thinks she's always right, that would do it.

"Asta asked you to guess what's in the container and you said Moby Dick."

Ohhh. No wonder that came out so naturally. I was asked before. That's all good information but that doesn't help. Those can be easily forgotten even if the accident didn't happen. Why would she think that letting me know that Asta had a crush on me would help? Is she stalling? It seems that way until she described what happened to Ein and Asta at the night club. I saved them from Ragnor? Can't remember but even without knowing what Ragnor did, the name itself already shows that he must be a bully. Astur night club? Is that still around? Detail is good. That's one way to show that she's telling the truth but it's time to interrupt since it's not helping.

"I don't remember Asta or Ein. I want to know about us. How did I save you?" Why is she holding back again? She should know it'll only show she's not being truthful. The moment of silence didn't last long. The explanation doesn't sound like a lie either. She doesn't want to be reminded of her jerk ex. That's why. It's because she found out he cheated on her with a stripper on the day of his buddy's bachelor party. It's because she found out I paid the stripper to seduce him. That does sound like what I would do. But what does she mean she hated me for it? Shouldn't she be grateful?

"You turned my life upside down."

Ohh. That makes sense. Break-ups hurt especially if she already gave him her first time, especially if she was preparing to marry him. "Sorry but not sorry. If he cheated on you with a stripper, then he must have cheated on you before."

"You don't know that. You did it for yourself."

"Maybe I did, but I know, even though I can't remember, I did it for you and I would do it again. He's not good enough for you and I proved it." According to Jake, that jerk is still a cop but no longer married. Most likely, his fame seeker wife who likes to show pictures of herself in sexy, skimpy clothing on her social media accounts was cheating on him.

"You haven't changed."

What's that supposed to mean? Is that good or bad? She seems calmer. It has to be good since she never once said her ex's name. She must know I'm right but just doesn't want to admit it.

"I do love you."

Ohh. Change of tactic? A confession of love would work but not for 5 million Euros. Besides, that's obviously a lie. Did she forget what she said earlier? Too many lies can make it hard to keep track. "Do you?" Ooh, she doesn't like that.

"Did you already forget what happened last night? Would I do that if I didn't?"

Yes. Because I'm irresistible and you want money. Lucy kept that thought to herself since that's not going to help and it will surely get her a few more scratches on her face.

"You really don't remember any of that?"

This is strange. She's upset because I can't remember. Maybe Anthony is wrong after all.

"All right. Fine. You win."

That's not as annoying as Niki. But it is getting to that point. Is this why I left her? Holeeey…Good...lord. A dancer's body is absolutely, ridiculously, without a doubt, the most-

"You keep your promise."

What? That's what happens when the eyes have control of the mind. It can't hear anything. The legs can't move. It wanted that body with the royal blue bikini top and the short, royal blue, white cheerleader-like outfit bottom to come closer.

"Remember now?"

Lucy heard this time but it's hard to concentrate when those two pom poms are so close and looking like they want to come out and play. She's a cheerleader?

"How about now?"

Ohh…Gawwd. Just like last night, the feel of just one pom pom instantly brought back memories. The gentle kissing on the neck too. That was her. It wasn't just a dream. She's not a prostitute but she could be an escort. Escorts aren't the same as prostitutes. Not all sell sex. Some sell companionship. Some provide entertainment like erotic dancing. The difference is escort service costs a lot more, thousands by the hour, because they have the looks and body of a cheerleader, actress, or model. They're more beautiful, more sexy, and more intelligent. They're college students, secretaries, and fame seekers who want more than just money like job opportunities and connections. She could've been one because she knows how to make an offer like a high-end escort. "Three hundred" Lucy countered. Five hundred thousand Euros in two days is too much. "There's a daily wire limit" and 3 hundred thousand Euros is a lot, lot more than what lawyers here make in a year especially for her, a real estate lawyer. It's not enough to buy a fancy house here but she will be able to once she gets the 5 mil.

"You promise?"

Does she realize she just admitted to being an escort? "I promise."

Anthony is wrong. All she wants is money. This is why she's willing to take a chance on a verbal promise. She's not afraid that I would remember. There's no reason to think that she's lying either because touching was never mentioned as part of the deal yet she led the way, instructing where to stand, where to touch, what to do like a choreographer, describing the situation like a director, and re-enacting the moments that happened over a decade ago here in this hotel room to regain my trust. Without trust, she knows the promise is worthless.

This is a crazy idea but talking didn't help. The lighthouse didn't bring back any lost memories. The tourist attractions were a waste of time. This method doesn't seem to be working either but it did remind her of the times where she had dreams of making love to Amy in various ways and places. But so what? So what if it took place against the panoramic window in a hotel room with a view of the ocean? It was just a dream, a sexual fantasy instilled into the mind from watching too many R rated movies. And so what if many of the dreams include making love as a man? It doesn't mean it happened. It means this mind knows that men have more advantage in this society so it likes the feeling of being a man and the only place it can be a man is in dreams and it likes to be in control. Who doesn't? But this, there's no way this happened. The couch, the floor, the table, shower stall and tub are all possible places to be intimate including against the panoramic window and wall but this is not. This is degrading. Those who find pleasure in that are no different from animals.

"I would never do that. That's disgusting." Having nothing to say usually means she disagrees but this cannot be true. Where is she going with the wine bottle? "I can't remember but I know I would never do that." That is a stupid argument. "Were we drunk?" Too drunk to remember the details from the previous night happened before. "Was I drugged?" Okay, that came out wrong. "I mean, did we take anything?" It could be the effects of happy pills too. Doing stupid things is part of being young.

"You didn't."

I knew I wouldn't have. Those types of scenes in the movies are all disgusting. No matter how beautiful the actors are, it only reminded her of the time in the zoo where she saw 2 red butt monkeys doing it. It looked very forceful. It looked like it was raping the other. It was so disgusting, she had to look away. Another woman also did. Her husband did not and continued looking with interest. Only a man could. Animal!

"I didn't let you."

What! That's the opposite of what she just said. It's time to change the topic since she just closed the curtain, put the wine bottle on the end table and turned one of the lights on as if preparing to recreate another moment. This is no longer the living room. So what else could happen in a bedroom other than- Oh my god. She's kneeling again. There's no space to move back. The wall is in the way but there's no need to move away either but it's necessary to stop her because this is just pretense. There's no need to take off my pants and "I would never do this."

There were dreams of being in this position but she's certain this never happened since all the women she's been with are all strong, capable women so no doubt, they would find the kneeling position alone demeaning.

"Want to trade places? See if it would help."

What! "I did not. I would never never...uhh-huhh" That was a spontaneous reaction and so is the gasp. It was so unexpected, there was no way to avoid it since Ezz was standing too close before it happened. The pants is still up. The fake penis is still there. But it didn't prevent Ezz from grabbing the sensitive spot.

"You say never but your body wanted it."

As much as she doesn't want to admit it, Ezz could be right. The heart is pumping fast. Rapid breathing is happening. Desire has been triggered. If the body is feeling this way now, it's very possible it did happen since she didn't have as much as self-control then as she does now. Her impulsive behavior then is what led to this.

"Well?"

You've got to be kidding me. No. No. No. As much as she doesn't want to believe this, it's now impossible to deny that this never happened even though she still can't remember. All this time, she had thought it came from the porn videos that she had seen. Now it seems like it actually came from a memory because there were so many porn videos, this particular position that Ezz is sitting in is one that caught her attention, one that she daydreamed about many times.

"Why are you so afraid of the truth?"

"I'm not." Lucy said, knowing that she over-reacted just a little. The word afraid is what caused it. It's also because the question is ridiculous. She really doesn't know who I am. If she did, she wouldn't have said that.

"Then why are you still standing there?"

With only one light on in the far side of the wall, her face can't be seen clearly but her posture can be seen, sitting on the edge, seductively woman-spreading in her cheerleader outfit with an opened buttoned shirt while leaning back with her elbows against the bed which means that this time, there will be more touching, more body contact than the previous acts.

"I will keep my promise."

That's to let her know this is over. Nothing helped but the pretense wasn't a waste of time. Not a lot is known about her except the fact that she does have a sense of humor and it doesn't take much to make her laugh. That was a genuine laugh. Everyone has a ticklish spot. That wasn't intentional but joking around during the pretense was. Taking it too seriously would have it made it awkward. Besides, this is the only way to find out what kind of person she is. The result was surprising. I didn't see a shooting star while pretending to make love to her against the panoramic window yet she believed that I did and was so interested in wanting to see one herself, it seemed like she had totally forgotten the purpose of being here for a few minutes. That alone shows she's gullible and she's not like Aria...or at least it looked that way.

What…the…hell. Lucy stood unmoved, holding the bedroom doorknob while cursing at herself for being so stupid to have fallen for it again after getting a question that she never thought she would get, not from Ezz anyway. At this point, it's difficult to think of anything because nothing makes sense unless Ezz meant something else. "What?"

"The key, isn't that what you're looking for?"

Damn it. How the hell does she know? Never admitted. Never. "What key?" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. It's difficult to lie to a lawyer especially her because she has an exceptional memory. The fact that she wasn't there yet knows about this shows that she's very detailed and has an investigative mindset since she was able to help find her ex's gun that Niki hid inside the mattress. It happened so long ago. Totally forgot about it. Too many things have happened since then or it could be this place that is drastically affecting the function of this tired brain. Denying isn't going to work. It's useless to try to convince her that it was just a fake story to get her ex and his buddies away from Niki and Holly since the same reason as last time(coming here to remember) is not a logical reason especially after what happened the last time.

"I know it's important to you. It's important to me too."

Say what now? So she does want it. It's normal to think that way because many do but not her. What she wants is to know why I left.

"It might not work but at least try because I don't know what will happen to you tomorrow, hit by a car or giant rocks of hail."

She is a good lawyer. She's using my reasons against me. She has a good point too. It might be over a decade but to those madly in love, never knowing what happened could be why she never married and why she chose to have a baby via surrogacy. It's because she no longer believes in love. God, it hurts. She's not crying but she's looking like she's about to. Can't blame her. I did when Brooke fell into a coma. At that moment, all I wanted to know is why she left. And now, the truth hurts even more.

This won't, not as much. "I know why. It's not because I didn't love you. It was for your own safety. That's all I can tell you." If she believes the story about the key, then she should believe this. But it doesn't look like she does. She's coming. Oh shit. Those watery eyes are now more visible. Oh shit. This brought back memories, memories that were once lost but have since recovered. The megastar wasn't wearing a cheerleader outfit then but she was wearing the same look as Ezz now, on that day in the hotel where she wanted me to stay overnight which happened more than once.

"Ever since you saw me at the Blue Lagoon, you wanted me. You interfered in my life, you pretended you have no interest in me, then you did everything you could to get my trust while knowing that I will never sleep with you. Months of waiting and planning, you finally got me to fall for you. So don't tell me it was for my safety because you wouldn't have spent so much time on me..."

Good point. But leaving without telling her why seems impossible too. Something must have happened. It could still be for her own safety. Maybe she missed the note? That could happen. But that's not going to change how she feels because she has another good reason. It's because I was her first time…and last. Ohh…crap.

"For years, I've been wondering why you left, if you'll be back. Now that you came back, you tell me you don't remember me and it doesn't matter? You know how I feel right now?"

Like a prostitute? Lucy said in her own mind, now realizing why she would feel this way.

"This is where it happened. I'll always remember. And I know she would want to. I can see the way you look at me. It's the same way she did. So you...let...her...out."

Why does everyone think I don't want to! "I want to remember but-"

"then try, so that I know I meant something to you. If not for me, then for whatever reason you came for."

For whatever reason I came for is a good reason but if this doesn't work, it will get me in trouble. "uhh-huhh" Lucy gasped at the unexpected contact in the same sensitive spot as before, then quickly held onto Ezz's hand since it's still grabbing onto it. Icelandic women are very different.

"Don't think. Let it do what it wants. All right?" Ezz said in a whisper into her ear.

Let it do what it wants will get me in trouble. But is there another way?

Lucy lets go of Ezz's hand, letting the body take control, then slowly realizes that Faith is wrong about feelings and sexual desires. It cannot be controlled especially when the sensation is initiated from sensitive areas. But she was right about sight. Without sight, the feeling of desire is magnified which does lead to sense of familiarity but also confusion. But with sight, it resolved that confusion because now it can recall where this happened before. But sight can also lead the logical mind to take back control. Leaning against the wall, Lucy looks down, focuses on the pounding of her own heart and the uncontrollable feeling since it's the only way to let the body take control. What it wants now is to let the gentle kisses continue further down. "uhh"

Bedroom door is closed and locked. Room is darker. It can't be completely dark since sense of familiarity is needed to retrieve lost memory. Touching is inappropriate but it's important because Faith once said the sense of touch promotes brain activity by triggering it to release various hormones that controls emotions, mood, and many other body functions. But she failed to mention the most important factor of all; The mind needs to be cleared of guilt, conscience, and fear of consequences. Last night proved that it would work but tonight proved that it doesn't work all the time even with the help of alcohol and can be dangerous.

"oww" The small packets of hotel soap didn't hurt. The scent candle did but not as much as the scratch from last night that is now bleeding again. It would be safer to stay outside to try to come up with something better to say than 'You told me to'. Even if it was her idea, no one wants to hear that especially when the pretense didn't turn out the way she expected. Jesus. She sure likes to throw things. Bottles of shampoo, soap dispenser, towels, and toilet paper are scattered on the bathroom floor. At least she knows to leave the mirror alone. Breaking mirrors would cause years of bad luck. "Don't!" Holy shit. She did. She didn't throw it this way though. But now the glass shower stall is shattered. Lucy quickly ducked, successfully avoiding the soap dispenser. "I'm sorry!" That would be better than saying 'You wanted it.' She may have wanted it but obviously she's regretting it now. Apologizing didn't work so it's time to get out to the living room where it would be easier to avoid getting hit. Besides, there's nothing in the living room that she can use to throw except of course the bottle of water that she is drinking from now. That's good. She knows she needs to calm down. Cold water should help. She's not that crazy after all. For a moment there, she did look like someone who has multiple personality disorder. One moment she was loving it like last night or pretending to be loving it. The next came the hard slap on the face followed by a kick to the stomach which was totally unexpected since the mind was concentrating on something else. Then she was acting like someone who just woke up and found herself being sexually assaulted. "You okay?" Should I remind her this was her idea?

"You said you love me. That was a lie, wasn't it?"

Okay, she's calmer now but what? It might not be the truth now but it could be years ago. "No, I would never-"

"Stop…lying. I…know."

She knows? What does she know?

"It's because of this. Isn't it? You picked me because this reminded you of her. You picked me because she has this."

Ohhhfffuk. A moment is needed to think but not enough time is given since she had to move to avoid getting hit by the opened bottle of water.

"You were thinking of her every time you're fucking me!"

Yikes! There goes the last bottle but she still can't think of anything to say since the truth is Ezz is right. She was thinking of Brooke because Ezz has a birthmark near the bikini area just like Brooke. That was the reason she continued last night so that she could take a closer look. Tonight she was able to take a very good look. But this can't be the reason I was with her. "Nnno, I would never-"

"STOP…oh no"

Lucy heard despite how soft the last two words were but wasn't quick enough to catch her in time. No bones would be broken from the fall but it might cause some bruises.

"Ezz? What's wrong? Hey…Ezz, EZZ!"