seven: you know, something
The coastal town really was a nice break from the streets of Viridian. Besides not having to worry as much about running into anyone they knew, there seemed to be an overall calm in the air that wasn't provided anywhere near HQ. At the moment, Jessie walked side-by-side with her boyfriend in the park. She held onto his arm while observing the walkway filled with manicured plants. Trainers and their pokemon dotted the area. They passed by a set location for battles. Maybe they'd come back, maybe not. All of their pokemon were with them, Wobbuffet having promised not to interfere by releasing itself in the middle of something intense. It might have fun battling Hitmontop again after not having done so in a while with Jessie and the group of them working many hours as what had basically become lab assistants.
"You don't mind there's nothing exciting?" Butch asked her.
Jessie pouted. Why did he have to frame their time off is such a way? She'd been looking forward to it and thought they were having quite the elegant excursion. "If it's not exciting, we can just go and make it exciting," she said, pulling him closer and moving forward faster. "The ocean!" she exclaimed once she saw it, letting go of him to rush ahead and see it across the recently mowed field. "It's been a while."
"Oh, right, wasn't the last time we met before you came back in the field in a place like this by the ocean?" Butch said, referring to the lugia incident.
"Ugh. Let's not think about that," Jessie asserted quickly. As she sat on a bench, he took his place next to her. She smiled and leaned against him. "I don't really want to think about work. I just want to enjoy where we are. Maybe all I need is to see it, without going in." She sighed. "I just like being here looking out there, maybe. Think about the potential. There's no visible end to it from here, is there?"
Butch smiled himself, slowly blinking before he glanced her way. "You've got endless potential, that's for sure." As he spoke, he took her hand again, squeezing it gently. Jessie couldn't help but tense up, even with his positive statement. He seemed to notice, his expression changing to concern. "Thinking of something else?"
She ought to deny it and be able to turn her mind to something she really wanted to concentrate on. But instead, Jessie confirmed her boyfriend's suspicion. "Yeah," she admitted.
"Something to do with something you might prefer to do?" Butch asked.
Maybe she hesitated just a moment, but Jessie decided to share this with him anyway. She quietly nodded before she spoke. "Right now I'm fine. But I have been thinking about indecision. Your indecision," Jessie added quickly. Butch seemed to tense before she continued. "I mean, about what you said - about leaving Team Rocket."
"Oh. Well, would you?" Butch asked.
Jessie frowned. Even admitting thinking about it was difficult, but of course, she hadn't thought about it seriously enough to answer that question. But wasn't it the same for him? Maybe he should be the first to answer questions. "What about you? You said you'd considered it, but then you didn't. Why are you being wishy-washy? Are you just waiting for someone to tell you what to do?"
Butch appeared more taken aback than Jessie herself had been, open-mouthed as he stared out at that crashing, foamy oceanscape. His grip on her hand tightened before he finally pursed his lips and looked back at Jessie to speak. "Being Cassidy's partner was all I had," he admitted. "Before that, before Team Rocket, I wasn't anyone. It gave me, you know, something. I didn't want to leave if I had nothing to replace it with."
Jessie gripped his hand tightly, still having trouble speaking about herself. But with her boyfriend admitting something that difficult, maybe she ought to open up a bit as well. "James and Meowth absolutely gave me something too," she began. "But my real reason for staying is much dumber than that."
"If it's your reason, I bet it's not," her boyfriend said seriously. Despite his words, Jessie almost felt dizzy thinking about admitting it. Anyone could understand a wish for belonging and companionship, but Jessie was letting herself be held back by something that didn't really offer her anything. She felt ready to sink back into that dark ocean where she'd basically sabotaged a mission after being frustrated about Cassidy being so ahead. Butch scooted close to her, running a hand down her shoulder, soothing with that simple action. "You don't have to talk about it," he offered.
There were the words she needed to finally get out the truth. "I'm not so sensitive I can't," Jessie insisted. She scowled briefly, taking another look at the ocean before she sighed forcefully. "I might feel like Team Rocket's something like my birthright," she said.
"Why would you think that?"
"My mom was in Team Rocket," Jessie admitted, her head moving from away the ocean and toward the rocky path in front of them. "She might have looked even better than me in the uniform. She was definitely cool, and I wanted to be just as elite and cool. If I'm in Team Rocket, maybe I feel like I'm with her in some way. Even when things don't completely work out."
"So that was why she left you?" Butch asked calmly.
Jessie couldn't mirror his demeanor, instead pulling her hand away and clenching her fists. "Probably!" she shouted. "How much time would she have for me with important missions to finish?" Jessie looked toward the ground, folding her arms. "I might feel like I'm closer to her, being part of everything, even if she's gone now."
"So you figured out you're not?" Butch asked, then continued before Jessie could reply. "Yeah, probably. Now you can think about what really might be best."
Jessie stood up as she continued shouting at him, "I already see what's best! I know it's dumb, but I still feel like I want to stay! Maybe it's not as easy as you think to get over things, even thinking about it and knowing maybe I can do much better!"
"No, no, no," Butch insisted as he also stood, grabbing Jessie's hand and smoothing his own over hers. Though still annoyed, Jessie felt somewhat comforted by the contact, staying quiet as he continued to speak. "Trust me, Jessie, I know. I know way better than you might think. I just- I mean, I told you, right? Even thinking about how I should go, a lot of things have held me to Team Rocket too. I'm not saying to just get over it. I know there's some things you never get over."
The sound of the waves echoed in the distance as Jessie processed what he'd said, feeling the reassuring pressure of his hand. She had calmed while listening to him. There was definitely empathy there. She hadn't expected him to understand her, but it seemed like he truly did, maybe more than it was possible for anyone else to. He had his own mother leaving him somewhere, Jessie knew from previous conversations. Was she also a part of Team Rocket? Seemed more than likely. Jessie had gotten annoyed with him for disparagingly having spoken of her mother before, but maybe he was only thinking about his grudge against his own possibly prioritizing what she was doing in this group over her own child. Though not wanting to hear anyone else say how terrible her mother was, Jessie understood his feelings.
"You should stay in Team Rocket as long as you want," Butch asserted. "Who cares about the reason? If you think it's right, then it's right. I promise I'll stay with you for as long as you want. Maybe we'll finally catch a bunch of powerful pokemon or even take over the world, who knows."
Jessie blinked as she sharply inhaled, taking in the intense declaration along with the reminders of what she'd had in mind when originally joining. Of course, there wasn't any of that at the moment. He was just promising to stay in the same rapidly declining job as her as long as she wanted. That would show some dedication. But what about otherwise, maybe in a situation with a different kind of appeal? "Would you even want to be around me elsewhere?" she asked. "Not that I'd need you to make a life outside, but-"
"Just tell me when," Butch interrupted. Jessie was struck speechless at his lack of hesitation. He seemed pretty convinced of his own idea, too, staring right in her eyes with the serious expression. He broke eye contact, seeming to laugh at himself in her silence, though he still kept hold of her hand. "Seems like a perfect idea. But life is pretty far from perfect. No rush. Think about it as long as you want."
She would, Jessie decided. In the moment, she could put such heavy considerations to the side. This outing had already been planned out. She planned to enjoy it thoroughly, without thinking too much about any heavy decisions. Nothing that may have happened a long time ago would weigh her down from what was in front of her now.
After some cozy sight-seeing, they did end up doubling back to the practice arena. "Maybe you try the next one," Jessie said. It looked like they were having a casual knock-out tournament of such. The loser shook hands with the winner before clearing the field for someone else. Jessie wasn't sure wanted to participate, but might like to battle against her boyfriend.
"Sure. Let's go, Hitmontop!" Butch said, throwing out the pokeball.
Hitmontop spun around on its head in a dramatic pose as it appeared, then flipped onto its feet and approached Jessie. "Hitmontop!" it called, nodding up at her.
"You've gotta win against them first if you wanna take on that punching bag," Butch motioned toward the man with a wigglytuff.
"Hitmontop!" Hitmontop's normally apathetic expression turned to a slight frown as it stared up at its trainer.
"You don't think you can take it?" Butch said.
"Hitmontop!" Hitmontop narrowed its eyes, stepping into the arena.
Butch's fighting type made easy work of Wigglytuff, though it was knocked around a bit in the process. Hitmontop then predictably lost against Wobbuffet, but before someone could think it would be a type advantage show, a makuhita ended up being the one to beat Jessie's psychic type. Jessie pouted as she returned the defeated, deflated Wobbuffet to its pokeball.
"Kind of boring..." Jessie pouted as she joined Butch after pleasantries with the other trainer.
"Nothing like training back at HQ, huh?" Butch said.
Jessie shrugged. Bored of the topic, she took the initiative to walk away from the arena.
"Ah, wait up," Butch said. As Jessie turned back to him, he put his hand to his head, looking away with an awkward smile.
"Did you want to say something? There's more interesting things to do around here, so I'd like to get to that," Jessie said.
"Yeah. It won't take that long. I just had something for you. I've been waiting for the right time to give it." Butch reached into his pocket, his hand shaking as he dropped an item onto the ground. He swore as he quickly knelt down to pick it up. After he did, he then reached his hand up toward her to offer the item before standing.
Jessie's heart started beating quickly at the sight of the blue container with the decorative red stripes. Was he really going to do this now? He had said he wanted this outing to be more special than the previous. He'd also asserted during their conversation just that day that he wanted to be with her, as they were or far from where they happened to be. For better or worse, basically. James had said she might push for this while implying Butch wouldn't even when the pressure was on. But was that what he was doing now, even without Jessie having hinted to him?
"I caught it for you." Butch stood now, still offering her the item.
"Huh?" Jessie blinked a few moments, realizing the situation wasn't at all what she had immediately thought. "Ah..." Jessie sighed, staring at the pokeball in Butch's hands. She took it from him as she calmed down from wondering if things between them might be moving along very fast. The item was just a pokeball, though a different design than the most often seen standard red and white ones.
"Don't you want to meet it? See what species it is?" Butch asked.
Right. Jessie nodded and tossed it out. "Eevee!" the happy pokemon called out as it appeared. Its tail swung as it grinned, running toward Butch.
"Eevee, listen up," Butch said firmly as the fluffy pokemon approached. Eevee stopped and blinked, appearing to pay close attention. "This is your new master," he motioned to Jessie. "That's who I told you about."
Eevee turned to Jessie blankly. If Butch had been the one to catch it, of course Eevee would be attached to him and not some random woman he pointed out. However, just as Jessie leaned down to see it better with this thought in mind, the pokemon called out happily, running toward Jessie and nuzzling its head against her leg as it continued to call cutely. Jessie petted the pokemon with a sigh, still with her misunderstanding in mind.
"What? James told me you might want one," Butch said.
She probably had mentioned that at some point in time. "Aren't you not supposed to give pets as gifts?" Jessie said.
"Hey, this isn't any lap dog. It's a pokemon, for battling. A dangerous monster," Butch asserted.
Jessie looked from the overly affectionate pokemon, still rubbing against her leg with sweet calls to signal it wanted her attention, to Butch and back again. She eventually smirked, then outright laughed at how her boyfriend had described the charming, amiable pokemon.
"I should have caught a tougher one? You don't like it?" Butch asked, brow furrowing as he frowned and glanced away.
"How could I not like a thing like this," Jessie said, leaning down and scooping up the small pokemon much to its delight. Eevee looked up and called out joyfully to its new 'master', and Jessie petted it in return. Jessie then looked back to Butch and sighed. "It's just that maybe when I saw you on one knee like that I was thinking you might be about to offer me something else. Sometimes people take that position to ask something specific, you know."
In response to hearing what Jessie had been thinking, Butch's mouth went agape, his posture straightening as he took a step back. Jessie didn't hate the reaction. She was even amused by it. At least she wasn't the only one reacting awkwardly regarding this topic. He soon calmed, smiling at her before he petted Eevee himself. "You mean, uh, you might like something like that?" he asked quietly.
She didn't reply, but he still appeared pleased enough silently studying her face before they went on their way. Was just talking about that enough to get the idea in his head? Would he ask? How long might he wait if he wanted to? What would she say if he did ask? Jessie wasn't sure. She wasn't even sure what she might have said if it hadn't been a misunderstanding that day. Damn it, he was making her feel awkward about things yet again.
And yet, Jessie thought at the end of the day as they made their way into their posh hotel, somehow the feelings she was experiencing thinking about it all weren't altogether unpleasant at all. Jessie and Butch sat with Eevee on the bed, watching a professional battle together on TV. This one had a lot of Eevee's possible evolutions for whatever reason. A flareon using flamethrower, a jolteon using thunder, an espeon using psychic, and an umbreon using pursuit - Eevee chirped happily as it saw each of the many possibilities for its future. Jessie petted it, leaning her head against her boyfriend's shoulder. Maybe there were just as many possibilities for them.
End note: Hope you enjoyed this fluff. Didn't know this part of the story would go on so long, but it's as long as it needs to be. Rapid change in direction upcoming, though readers will eventually see how it all fits together.