Elsewhere, Cybr is doing some perfectly normal shopping for enhancements to provide for El Diablo's new form. Cybr heads to Hardware Store Street, an area of Costa Brava dedicated entirely to hardware stores, which while convenient on paper, is actually wildly inconvenient unless one already lives nearby, as every single hardware store in the city is located at this one street. Cybr heads into Grank's Elecs and Mechs, and approaches the first employee he sees, who is wearing a nametag reading "Grank", though in reality this is just part of the uniform for all employees who work in this establishment.
"Ah, hello. I came here to ask if you have any robotic legs, or other similar parts that could be used for a medium-sized robotic entity that I am building." Cybr says plainly.
"Oh, of course! We have a wide selection of artificial body parts, ranging from hornguses to scungles! Let me show you our selection." The employee leads Cybr to the artificial legs aisle, and after just a few minutes of searching, Cybr settles on a pair, and brings them to the checkout counter.
"That will be 17035 monetary units." The cashier states, and Cybr hands over the requested amount. "Grank you for your patronage!"
"You wouldn't happen to know where I could find someone to install a stair lift, would you?" Cybr inquires.
"Answering that question is not in my job description. I'm sure you can find someone to help you. Grank you and goodbye."
Cybr shrugs and leaves, and rather than trying to randomly come across a mechanic or person of similar nature, he simply enters the nearest phone booth, which is actually a bone booth, with a bonebook instead of a phonebook. Cybr looks through the mechanic section of the bonebook, and finds one who, oddly enough, specifically cites stair lifts as something they specialize in, though their skeleton leaderboard ranking lowers their credibility somewhat. Not particularly concerned by this, Cybr calls up Rattler Geoff.
"Yello? How may I help with your stair lift installation needs?"
"Yeah, I was calling to ask you to install four separate stair lifts in one building."
"Sounds like a plan. Just give me the address and we can discuss payment on site."
After giving the address over the phone, Cybr heads back to the World Crime League headquarters to meet up with this Rattler Geoff guy.
On a different street corner, Mugsy has set up a lemonade stand-like establishment where he is selling meatballs he made with his stolen recipe. Suddenly, Mugsy hears an odd clapping noise drawing closer to him, and doesn't see anybody until he decides to look down, at which point he notices a man crawling at high speed across the crosswalk to reach him, his ass cheeks clapping with every motion he makes. This man is named Secco, and isn't exactly a familiar figure around these parts, clearly seeming out of place even in this city of oddballs.
"Hello there! Wanna buy a meatball? Just a buck per ball!" Mugsy says, but the man doesn't respond, just getting to his feet in front of Mugsy and bringing out what is very obviously a Stand. Before Mugsy can react, the man has already let out a devastating clap of the ass cheeks, sending forth a shockwave of energy which vaporizes Mugsy's entire meatball stand in one go, the stand having just barely shielded Mugsy from the blast.
"Darn it! That took me at least five minutes to set up!" Mugsy complains, before suddenly realizing that his life is in danger as he sees the man readying another clap with his Stand, Down with the Thiccness. "Uh- DISTRACTION!"
Mugsy starts running in the opposite direction of his Stand, the Stand being just barely enough to momentarily draw Secco's attention away and redirect the shockwave so that the brunt of it misses Mugsy. However, Distraction doesn't seem to hold Secco's attention for very long, and he immediately gets back down on all fours to chase after Mugsy. Mugsy is running just fast enough that Secco can't stop to charge up any claps, but Secco is still gaining on him, and is showing no signs of slowing down. After a minute or so of chasing, Secco slows down slightly, and uses a downwards-directed ass clap to propel himself into the air, attempting to ground pound Mugsy under his massive cheeks. Mugsy just barely dodges out of the way, skinning his arms on the concrete as the ground trembles, the sidewalk cracking under Secco. While Secco is recovering from the fall, Mugsy retreats into a nearby alley, out of sight. However, Secco begins sniffing the air, tracking the pungent scent of Mugsy's meatballs like some kind of animal. Secco quickly finds the alley where Mugsy is, but finds that the walls make the alley too narrow to fit his thicc ass into, so he begins slowly whittling away at it with his Stand's power, while Mugsy helplessly watches from within, unable to escape due to the alley being a dead end. Fortunately for Mugsy, Wee Woo just so happens to be patrolling the area in his new cruiser, and upon seeing this event unfolding, the police officer hops out of his vehicle and calls out to Secco.
"Hey, fat ass! What do you think you're doing there?" Wee Woo shouts, readying his Whappin' Stick as he approaches. Secco ignores Wee Woo, causing him to yell out once more. "Hey, don't ignore me! I'm an officer of the law, you know!"
"Hi an officer of the law, I'm interrupting!" says Dad.
"Don't mock me, dad!" Wee Woo grunts, pushing past the fatherly figure as he closes in on Secco and Mugsy. Mugsy calls out as he sees Wee Woo behind Secco's giant asscheeks.
"Help! He's trying to turn me into dust like he did with my meatball stand!" Mugsy cries out desperately.
"Wait…did you have a permit for that meatball stand?"
"Uh…I was doing the practice hours to qualify for one!" Mugsy lies, but Wee Woo seems to buy it for the moment, and slides under Secco's legs to enter the alley, before grabbing Mugsy and dragging him right out under Secco. Secco promptly whips around in surprise, having been too caught up in his ass clapping to even notice Wee Woo until just now. By the time Secco is taking chase again, Wee Woo is already driving with Mugsy in the police cruiser, but Secco still seems to be keeping up with them, crawling at inhuman speeds.
"Uhhh, copper, we're being followed." Mugsy remarks, looking in the mirror.
"I can't do anything about him, he's not technically breaking any laws right now. He was committing property damage, but Synchronicity already dealt with that while we were back there." Wee Woo responds, keeping his eyes on the road like a responsible driver, which is strange because he's really not known as being a responsible driver.
"How about attempted murder?" Mugsy states.
"Might work. The evidence is circumstantial at best, but that's enough sometimes."
Wee Woo uses Synchronicity to stop Secco from using his Stand to hurt anyone, preparing his Whappin' Stick once more as he gets out of the car, allowing for it to keep driving on its own with Mugsy inside. He holds up a hand to indicate for Secco to stop where he is, but Secco keeps charging forwards, forcing Wee Woo to swing his Whappin' Stick right at him. However, the Whappin' Stick gets caught between Secco's ass cheeks, and the iron buns refuse to budge as Wee Woo attempts to pry the weapon loose. Secco realizes who he's dealing with, and that a mere murder would not work against this particular individual, so he takes a step back and stands upright, observing his surroundings and still not releasing the Whappin' Stick or Wee Woo by extent. Secco sees a nearby construction site, which he views as a perfect venue for an accident to occur. He picks up a hard hat and enters the premises, which were unfortunately not marked with a "no trespassing" sign. Secco notices a crane with a large load attached, and notices that the controls for said crane seem conveniently unguarded, as it is currently lunch break. Secco finally releases Wee Woo right under the crane's load, and flips the lever to drop it, but he didn't account for the sway of the crane, which makes the load drop just a few feet away from Wee Woo. Wee Woo now has the opportunity to attempt to arrest Secco for unauthorized operation of construction equipment, and Synchronicity forces Secco out of the construction site, with Wee Woo already running up to deliver a painful WHAP right in the jaw, causing Secco to grunt in pain. Before Wee Woo can take this any further, Secco gets to his feet, and enters a fighting stance.
"HrmGNggngNGnn...you think you can stop me? I know my rights! I challenge you to…Trial by Combat!" Secco sneers, as Wee Woo goes pale, unable to legally decline this request, which is hidden deep within Costa Brava's law books. Before Wee Woo can even try to call for backup, Secco speaks again.
"You do know what Trial by Combat means, right? One on one, no weapons, to the death or incapacitation, whichever comes first. And trust me, it's gonna be death!" Secco scoffs.
"I accept your challenge!" Wee Woo declares, dropping his Whappin' Stick. In response to the accepting of the challenge, Synchronicity forms a barrier enclosing the two combatants so that they may fight without outside interference. As Secco throws the first punch, decking Wee Woo right in the face hard enough to knock out a few teeth, the construction crew returns from their break, and immediately begins cheering on both sides of the fight. Wee Woo rolls to the side, avoiding an attempted ground pound attack, but Secco doesn't give Wee Woo any time to think, immediately being back on his feet and uppercutting Wee Woo several feet into the air. Just as he arcs in the air, Wee Woo suddenly has an unrelated realization about the true current nature of Weeb Woo, the pieces clicking together in his mind. However, it seems as though it is too late for this to have any meaning, as the click in Wee Woo's mind coincides with the precise moment of his skull cracking against the ground on impact. Secco snorts as he gets down on one knee in front of Wee Woo and begins to taunt him.
"They were really struggling to figure out how they'd get you, heh. Guess all it took in the end was for someone to take you on in a fair fight." Secco throws one more punch, intended to finish off Wee Woo, but Wee Woo twitches his head out of the way just in time, fragments of concrete slashing through one of his eyes as Secco's fist collides with the concrete.
"This isn't about me or you anymore, but you're still in my way, so I have to get rid of you." Wee Woo coughs, attempting to punch Secco in the gut, but his fist doesn't even make an impact. Secco stares pitifully at the officer and his pathetic attempts at retaliation.
"You're gonna kill yourself from overexertion. How sad." Secco states, and before Wee Woo can utter another word, he wraps his hand around Wee Woo's skull and smashes it into the floor, causing Synchronicity's barrier to shatter due to the death of its user. The construction crew erupts into uproarious applause at the conclusion of the battle, as Secco calmly reports his successful elimination of a Target to which he was not assigned.