With only a few days until Christmas, Megumin begged Petunia to take her to Diagon Alley to go shopping.
"You'll get plenty of presents on Christmas I'm sure," Petunia said with a sigh. "You've never wanted much before."
"But it's not for me," Megumin explained. "It's for Yunyun and our other friends."
Petunia paused, looking up from washing of the dishes, which she had gotten rather used to doing in Megumin's absence and was continuing to do after Megumin had attempted to clean the dishes magically. It had gone well until she'd modified the spell, and even if she had fixed the broken plate, Petunia wasn't taking any chances.
"Really?"
Megumin nodded. "Yes. I have adopted Yunyun as my sister, and it is only right that I get her a present."
Petunia had to turn back to the dishes, where something appeared to get in her eyes, or perhaps there was some leftover onion on the tupperware. When she finally dried her eye, she toweled off and nodded. "Well, I'll just get dressed for it then and tell Vernon we're going out."
"Also I need to reward my sidekicks for their aid in our adventures together," Megumin added.
"Just stick with the part about Yunyun being your sister, Megumin," Petunia sighed. "It sounds much nicer."
Together with Chomusuke the Cat, who was napping atop Megumin's head under her hat, the two of them got in the car and headed for London. Petunia had her wizard's hat as well, which she both found slightly embarrassing and rather thrilling. She was at last a part of the magical world, even if she wasn't a witch. Living vicariously through her daughter and niece hadn't exactly been what she'd planned, but it was something.
"We must go to Knockturn Alley, and visit Wiz's Shop and Sundries!" Megumin told Petunia as she led her aunt by the hand into the Leaky Cauldron.
"That's the shop you've told me about before," Petunia agreed. "I'm not sure about Knockturn Alley, it sounds like a dodgy place."
"That's because it is," a familiar voice harrumphed. "Wouldn't catch me dead there. Death Eater nest is what that is."
"Augusta! Fancy seeing you here," Petunia said, turning and smiling. The Longbottom Matriarch was dressed not in her vulture hat, but this time with a festive stuffed turkey atop her head. Darkness was fidgeting next to her, but she smiled and waved hello when Megumin grinned at her.
"Wiz is a perfectly nice person. She gave me Chomusuke!" Megumin said, whipping off her hat and showing off her Familiar. She reached up, then held the cat towards Darkness's grandmother, who frowned at the beast.
"What breed is that? I've not seen a cat with bat wings before."
"She breathes fire too!' Megumin said excitedly.
"She's very cute," Darkness said, ticking Chomusuke under the chin.
The little cat purred and opened her eyes, blinking and looking around the dark tavern.
"That thing isn't a person. She's one of the living dead," Madam Longbottom huffed. "Some sort of jumped up zombie."
"Really? That's amazing!" Megumin said eagerly.
"The aurors keep investigating her shop, but they never find anything. But she has to have dark artifacts there," Darkness added.
"We have to go there then!" Megumin said eagerly. "Come on, Petunia! It's this way!"
"Grandmother, if Megumin is going...I wouldn't want her to be alone," Darkness said.
"Hmph. Well, never let it be said the Longbottoms abandoned a friend in a time of need. We may as well, I've been meaning to pawn off some of my old things."
The four women made for Knockturn Alley, chatting as they went. Petunia was nervous and a bit out of sorts, but Madam Longbottom bowled her way through.
"You've done reasonably well with your niece, even if she is a bit of a handful. My granddaughter is the same way. Spare the rod and spoil the child, as they say," Madam Longbottom said as she strode along.
"Isn't that from the Bible?" Petunia asked, frowning.
"Well, no matter where it's from, it's good sense is what it is. Darkness can be a clumsy oaf, but she knows her manners," Madam Longbottom said, nodding to her granddaughter.
Darkness blushed and hunched her shoulders, looking more than a bit embarrassed.
"I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas," Megumin said as they turned down Knockturn Alley.
"Of course not, we're not heathens," Madam Longbottom answered for her granddaughter. "We follow a proper wizarding religion in our household. My daughter-in-law introduced it to us. Very practical."
Further discussion was interrupted as they entered Wiz's Shop and Sundries, which was by far the cleanest and most brightly lit shop on the street.
"Welcome! Let me know if- Oh! Megumin, and-" Wiz took a moment to compose herself, seeming to wipe away a tear. "New customers! It's so very good to see you both! What are your names?"
"You may call me Madam Longbottom. This is my grandaughter-"
"Darkness," Darkness hastily said before her rather embarrassing names could be mentioned.
Augusta looked stormy, but didn't correct her granddaughter. "We're here to do some holiday shopping."
"Ah, Celebrating Fortune's Eve? I have a variety of tasteful holiday decorations, like a seven pointed star lamp, and a golden kniffler piggy bank!" Wiz said, hurrying over to her display case.
At the mention of Fortune's Eve, Augusta blinked. "You're an Erisite?"
"Of course! Eris and I don't always get along, but, well, I like to think of us as friends!" Wiz babbled as she took out some of her wares from cabinets and shelves.
"I...see…" Augusta squared her shoulders. "Perhaps I have judged you too harshly then, Miss Wiz."
"Oh, I understand. But don't worry about it! As long as you're here, we're friends," Wiz said. "Oh! And I have something for Darkness as well! I've been saving it, just for you!"
"Me?" Darkness said, starting slightly. "How could you know?"
"Wiz is obviously one of those wise shopkeepers who dispenses important quest items," Megumin confided. "That is why she knew to give me Chomusuke."
Wiz went behind the counter and emerged with a cloth covered object. "I've had this for many years. But it really belongs to you."
Darkness gave the object a quizzical look, then glanced at her grandmother.
"Go on, girl. Show your manners. If that...woman...is trying to trick you I'll deal with it," Augusta ordered.
"Thank you," Darkness murmured, then slowly unwrapped the cloth. She let out a gasp upon seeing a glimmer within, then quickly took off the whole thing. Inside was a heater shield with a silver backing and raised gold embossing on the surface, depicting what seemed to be a winged sword, with the wings forming a heart at the center.
"It's beautiful," Darkness said, gently stroking the shield. Her brow wrinkled as she frowned, looking up at Wiz in confusion. "I feel like...where did you get this?"
"A good friend gave it to me, a long time ago," Wiz said, coming forward to give Darkness a hug. "But it belongs to you. Keep it, and use it."
"But this looks valuable! I don't even know you, why would you-" Darkness babbled.
"I knew you would make an excellent paladin," Megumin said with a nod. "Now we just have to find you a suit of heavy armor and a sword."
"Nonsense. My granddaughter will be a proper auror, like her parents," Augusta sniffed.
"Yes, I will see Justice done," Darkness agreed, separating from Wiz. "Um, thank you. I...I apologize for thinking so poorly of you."
"Don't worry, I forget how young you are now," Wiz said with a smile. "Now, what else can I help you with?"
Megumin began picking out gifts for her "minions," with Darkness blushing as she was called over to consult on her own present.
"Shouldn't it be a surprise?" Darkness asked as Megumin held up an "Ever Swirling Snowglobe" which had the unfortunate side effect of leaving a wet puddle wherever it was set.
"Yes, and you should be very surprised I have consented to buy you a present," Megumin stated. "Now do you like it or not?"
Darkness nodded, then helped Megumin pick out gifts for the rest of their group. For Ron, she picked out some broom wax, with a "rustic scent." Hermione would get a tome Wiz said was titled "Beasts of Belzerg and Beyond" that seemed to be rather ancient, and written in an odd language. Yunyun got a set of "friendship bracelets," which would attune themselves to your friend, then change colors based upon how they were feeling. For her aunt and uncle, Megumin had to be talked out of an AutoMagic 3000 defense turret. Instead, she got a set of self retrieving croquet balls and matching auto-mallets.
"Aren't you going to get Kazuma something?" Wiz asked as she wrapped up the various packages Megumin had purchased.
"Why would I get him something?" Megumin demanded.
Wiz blinked. "Aren't you friends? You're at the same school…"
"Kazuma Crabbe is the filthy spawn of Death Eaters," Darkness spat. "He's not our friend."
"Oh! Um, well...I know Kazuma can be a bit...scummy...but I'm sure he's not really like that," Wiz said hesitantly.
"He's nothing but Kazutrash," Megumin sniffed. Then she frowned. "Though it might be appropriate to get my rival a gift."
"Get him a lump of coal," Darkness huffed.
"No, I need something that will inspire him to strive harder to defeat me, thereby making it more satisfying when I crush him," Megumin mused.
"Isn't Kazuma one of Yunyun's friends?" Petunia asked, looking a bit worried.
"Yunyun made friends with an actual troll. Her standards are not very high," Megumin said with a shrug, and Darkness sighed and nodded her agreement.
"Well at least some things never change," Wiz sighed. She rummaged around behind her in various boxes, then pulled out a low table along with a blanket. "This should be a suitable present for Kazuma."
"What is it?" Megumin asked, examining the table. She flipped it over, to find an odd magical device on it that was warm to the touch.
"It's, ah, a kotatsu. They used to heat them with coal, but this one is magical. For some reason, no one wants to buy it here… but I'm sure Kazuma would love it!" Wiz said happily.
"Well, then I'm not buying it for him," Megumin said, folding her arms over her chest. "This is far too nice."
Wiz looked both perplexed and slightly hurt. After browsing the various strange items in the shop, Darkness pointed to a collection of very odd looking lamps. They were shaped like legs, and came in various colors, and had weird symbols on the lamp shades.
"Oh, that's a muggle novelty lamp. They're very popular as Christmas presents, but, um, well...it needs electricity to run, so I haven't been able to sell it," Wiz admitted.
"Perfect. It's just as useless as him. Let's see…" Megumin rummaged around, picking out three lamps. "Yes, I shall get these three. Superman, Flash, and Black Widow. Even if she is Marvel instead of DC."
"You'll actually buy them!? I'll give you a discount on three!" Wiz said happily, and immediately swept the lamps away and began to package them up.
"That's an awful lot to spend on novelty items to prank some boys at school," Petunia said when Megumin handed over the money to Wiz.
"It is fine. I am rich now, and as such, I can afford to be eccentric," Megumin said with a shrug.
They were just about to leave, when the door banged open.
"Ho-ho-ho! Does moi smell the aura of existential seasonal despair?!" Vanir strode in, dressed in a normal suit, but with black and white patterned scarf thrown around his neck, and a black and white Santa hat perched on his head. "Well, if it is not the foolish girl who claims to be a hero and brings naught but destruction, and the fair knight who suppresses her own desires to pretend to be good! To what does moi owe the displeasure of thy company?"
"We are here because this is the most interesting shop in London," Megumin stated. "I am purchasing gifts, as is required by the current holiday."
"Ah yes, the holiday that was to give mortals hope, but they instead have turned into a wasteland of mindless consumption, gorging but never becoming full! Yes, this is truly moi's favorite time of the year!" He turned and glared at Wiz. "Moi supposes that this useless shopkeeper who impoverishes herself daily has given all these goods for free."
"No, I made a tidy profit today!" Wiz huffed. "I told you, Vanir, neither of us need to eat, and as long as we make enough to cover the rent there's no reason to worry."
"You don't eat?" Megumin asked, her brow furrowing. "What, are you actually undead?"
Wiz blushed and looked down, while Vanir cackled, "Moi is not undead, for to be as such, moi would once have needed to live." His wicked grin sprung up, and he flourished his hand, producing a book. "Tell me, girl. Wouldst thou be interested in a tome of demonology?"
"I tried the Lesser Key of Solomon, it doesn't work," Megumin huffed.
"Pah! A truly worthless book, penned by mortals! Now, with this volume, one would be able to call upon the fiery depths of-"
"Thankyouforthestuffmerrychristmas!" Petunia suddenly babbled as both she and Darkness grabbed the packages from Megumin and hustled her out the door.
"Wait, what about the book? I want to try summoning a demon! It would be appropriate for the Crimson Demon Clan!" Megumin protested.
"Heroes don't summon demons," Darkness said very firmly. "Don't have anything to do with that sort of thing."
"I have a very strict policy of no demon summoning in my house. If Yunyun got a hold of that book, she'd be summoning demons and trying to make friends with them, and I won't have it!" Petunia declared.
Megumin was so upset that she neglected to notice that she was missing her own companion.
Back in the shop, Wiz harruanged Vanir for scaring off her friends, then stormed off to tidy up the back. Once she was gone, Vanir walked over to the corner, where a small black cat was napping.
"Well? The mistress grows impatient," Vanir said, glaring down at Chomusuke.
Yawning, the cat stretched, then rolled over to offer her belly. She looked up at Vanir pleadingly, as if asking for affection.
"Not until thou finishes thy task, fallen one," Vanir said, shaking his head. "Our window of opportunity will not last."
"Fine," Chomusuke sighed, turning back over and standing up. "But there's only so much I can do, you know. I'm just supposed to be her pet."
"And does thou desire to spend the rest of thy days beholden to a mere mortal, one whose soul is the plaything of the most foolish of all the fools on high?" Vanir demanded.
"She gives me the good food, and lets me take lots of naps. Why should I care?" Chomusuke demanded as she glided away on silent paws.
"Because thou could be so much more! Didst thou even find the mirror?" Vanir called.
"She's not that kind of crazy," Chomusuke said, sitting down in front of the door. She turned around, giving Vanir a haughty look. "And besides. I never said I would help. I will simply do what is best for me."
"Hmph. Well, the mistress will not be content forever, familiar," Vanir warned. He walked over, and opened the door. "See that thou remembers to whom thy true loyalties lie."
Chomusuke stuck her nose in the air, and walked out.
Vanir shut the door, then went over, tapping the book and frowning. The direct method hadn't worked. Well. There were always others.
"Where didst moi's copy of the Potters' tale go," Vanir muttered. "Damnable goddesses. It should be moi's duty to ruin timelines."
A few days later, it was Christmas. Megumin would have slept in, traditionally she had received only baked goods from Yunyun, as the Dursleys had consistently not given her presents. Mostly because if there was a naughty list, Megumin was at the top of it.
However, Yunyun was always full of Christmas cheer, and awoke Megumin long before the sun was up.
"M-merry Christmas!" Yunyun cried, throwing open Megumin's door and turning on the lights. "I m-made breakfast already! C-come on, Megumin, mum and dad are w-waiting!"
"It is too early, go away," Megumin groaned, rolling over and putting a pillow over her head.
"B-but...there's presents…" Yunyun said forlornly. "And...I got you something nice…"
Megumin raised her head, scowling. "Is not waking up overly early on Christmas for small children?"
Yunyun looked so forlorn, that Megumin grumbled and got up out of bed. "Fine. But I'm not getting dressed."
"B-but...we have matching jumpers..." Yunyun sniffled. "A-and I made you some stockings…"
She held up a pair of thick wooly socks, patterned with explosive blasts and smoke.
"...THOSE ARE AMAZING!" Megumin cried gleefully, seizing the socks. "Fine. I shall consent to wearing the stupid jumper."
A few minutes later, Megumin came down to the breakfast table, dressed in her white jumper with a red and yellow pattern on it.
"Merry Christmas!" Vernon said cheerfully. He pointed happily to the table. "A full fry up! Just what I wanted!"
Laid out on the table were baked beans, fried tomatoes, mushrooms, fried eggs, toast, black pudding, and of course, both bacon and sausage.
"Hmph. But no sweets," Megumin grumbled, sliding into her chair.
Yunyun set a pair of tarts on Megumin's plate. "M-Merry Christmas! I-I made hot cocoa too!"
After Yunyun's very excellent breakfast, everyone was very full, but instead of collapsing into a comatose state, they all went over to the pile of presents.
"This is for you, dear," Petunia said, Megumin a brightly wrapped package.
"I thought you said the clothes were my present," Megumin asked suspiciously.
"They were part of it. But, well...I suppose we owe you a few presents to make up for lost time," Petunia sighed.
"VICTORY IS MINE!" Megumin declared, then shredded the wrapping and box into very small pieces. Inside were several boxes of fantasy miniatures, including a female wizard.
"I know you and Yunyun like to play that game together, so we got you those," Petunia explained.
"I-I got some too!" Yunyun said, holding up her own box of figurines.
"Yes! We shall venture forth together!" Megumin cackled.
They found glue, paints, and other hobby supplies amidst their other presents, which pleased both girls immensely. Yunyun was even happier to get the friendship bracelets, and insisted on putting them on immediately, despite Megumin's protest that "Sisters were not friends."
"Oh look, mine's changing to blue!" Yunyun said happily. "What does that mean?"
"Probably that you are irritating," Megumin said. "Why is yours red? Mine should be red!"
After a great deal of observation and speculation, it was determined that they had no clues what the various hues the bands shifted through meant, and they gave it up to assemble and paint their new collection of fantasy minis.
About noon, the doorbell rang.
"DAMN YOU MOODY!" Vernon thundered, grabbing his new driver that Yunyun had gotten him. "NOT ON CHRISTMAS!"
"CONSTANT VIGILANCE TAKES NO HOLIDAYS!" Moody roared back.
"Oh bloody hell boss, just stuff it," Tonk's voice groaned.
"Vernon, I invited them for Christmas Dinner," Petunia called from the kitchen. "They're supposed to be here!"
"What!? Why didn't you tell me?" Vernon gasped.
"Because you would have been upset," Petunia sniffed, then opened the door and smiled. "Tonks! I'm so glad you came! Ah, is this your mother?"
"Call me Andy," the woman who was a few years older than Petunia said, smiling and giving her a hug. "Fair Fortune to you all."
"Merry Christmas," Petunia replied. She smiled at Moody, whose eye was spinning about wildly as he frowned at her. "Please, won't you all come in? The ham's just about ready."
Tonks' mother joined Petunia in the kitchen, remarking that her late husband had taught her how to cook "the muggle way" and that she'd be happy to help. Vernon and Moody sat at the table, each with a bottle of cider, glaring at one another.
For her part, Tonks seemed to be delighted to inspect the figurines that Megumin and Yunyun proudly displayed.
"We shall build our very own adventuring party!" Megumin explained. "This is me, the Archwizard of the Crimson Demon Clan!"
"I-I'm an Archwizard too," Yunyun said.
"Oh ho, and is this the fearsome troll you'll slay?" Tonks asked, pointing to a half assembled hunk of pewter.
"No! T-that's Smiley, h-he's our friend!" Yunyun said.
"She made friends with a troll," Megumin said, making a face. "I've told her she should have killed it to see what loot it had."
"M-my Adventurer makes friends, not foes," Yunyun said stubbornly.
Tonks laughed. "Ha! Charlie, Chris and I formed an adventuring party of our own back in Hogwarts! Got a fair bit of detentions. Even Chris's luck ran out sometimes. Say, you got a shape changer? That would be brilliant."
"Um, I don't know?" Yunyun admitted.
"Hmm, well, I'll make one of my own," Tonks said, and waved her wand over some of the shavings and scrap that had been cut away. "There! See, just like me!"
"Your nose isn't that big," Megumin pointed out, as the model had a truly astonishing beak.
Then Tonks changed the size of her nose, to the delight of both girls, who immediately demanded to see more.
All in all, it was a delightful Christmas, with a wonderful meal.
Though somewhere, just beyond sight, a trickster conspired to steal Christmas, and soon.
But we'll do our Megumin saves Christmas plot later.
Did I say save? I meant Explodes.