Chapter Eight

"North Carolina? In the peaks of the Smoky Mountains?" Robert said precariously, as though suspicious of such a simple answer. Magnus only nodded warily, setting his head in his hands.

"That's nearly an eight hour drive—"

"But Magnus can make a portal," Alec interrupted, before turning to look hopefully at Magnus. "You can, can't you?"

Alec had only just come to a short while ago. He was sitting upright in a chair near the end of the table, and frankly, he looked awful—his normally bright eyes were dull and leached of their color, more of a tired blue-grey than their usual lapis, and Magnus could see his muscles trembling in exhaustion under the fabric of the hoodie he'd pulled on. Despite looking as though he hadn't slept in a week, he hummed with a new determination and hope.

"I can, but…." Magnus glanced over to Robert, already knowing the answer to his unproposed question. Robert's curt shake of the head was confirmation enough, but as Alec splayed his hands in frustration and opened his mouth to argue, his father explained. "The Clave wouldn't allow it. Resources are thin right now. They said they're sending in their own trained shadowhunters, ones closest to Sebastian's location. They don't want our help."

Magnus had expected that answer before he'd ever asked Robert to check in with them. Then, he knew what Alec's response would be as well. Neither Alec, Isabele, or Simon were likely to sit back while Jace and Clary were in danger. And by now, the Clave's promise meant little to any of them.

"Bullshit!" Alec raged, and Magnus jumped a bit, surprised by the sudden outburst—Alec so rarely lost his temper. But he was certainly losing it now, as he violently shoved back his chair and swiped a hand across the table, scattering papers to the floor. As he pushed away from the table, he stumbled, his legs still too weak to truly hold him, and Magnus watched as Alec put out a hand to brace himself on the wall, before turning to it to pound his fist into it.

Though just as tired as Alec, Magnus was up and at his side in an instant, gently pulling at his shoulder until he turned to grip Magnus' arm, the fire ebbing from his eyes.

"Alec," Magnus began softly, "what has ever stopped you from going against the Clave?"

Alec scoffed. "Jace and Clary were the ones always breaking the law. But besides, we're going to need more than just the five…six of us, counting Maia."

"Seven," Magnus corrected.

"This isn't your fight," Alec said, dismissively, and pushed past Magnus to face his father again. "When are the shadowhunters the Clave is sending going to get there?"

"I don't know," Robert sighed, "It could be a few days before they decide to make a move."

"We can't wait that long," Alec demanded, but Magnus could already see his knees wobbling. Magnus gripped his partner again and forced him to look him in the eyes.

"Alec, please. You are in no condition to fight anything right now. We have no idea how many demons Sebastian has guarding this place—"

"Jace is my parabatai. I. Can't. Leave. Him." Alec's voice cracked, and Magnus' stomach tightened anxiously. He didn't think he'd ever seen Alec looking so…desperate. His hair was mused, his clothes wrinkled and messy, all as usual, but his eyes were so glossy and distant, his hands tremoring as they grabbed at Magnus' shirt sleeves.

Gods, Magnus admired his determination, loved Alec's loyalty to those he cared for. But Magnus was just as desperate. If Alec was too reckless about this, if they didn't go in with a plan, or at least more strength, Magnus could lose him. It happened all the time, didn't it? Shadowhunters dying in the field….

"Please. Please, Alec, let's just wait a few hours. That's all I'm asking. Just so you can get some rest, so we can prepare. Then—then I'll make a portal. But for now, I need you to rest," Magnus pleaded, trying to push the severity of the matter into his tone. When Alec gave him a look that Magnus knew meant he was going to protest further, he lowered his voice and added, " I can't…lose you, so…please."

Alec's eyes widened a fraction, and for a moment, Magnus worried he had come on too strong, asked too much considering the circumstances, pushed too hard when it wasn't his place. But he needed Alec to know that he understood. Magnus would stop at nothing to find Alec if he had been the one taken, but he wasn't, and Magnus wasn't about to let him kill himself over this.

Just as Magnus thought Alec might push him away or tell him to leave, the last of the fight seemed to seep from him, and despite his lips pursing in frustration, he nodded and at last let himself lean into Magnus for support.

"Okay," Magnus sighed in relief, tucking an arm around Alec's shoulder. He turned back to Robert and Maryse, who stiffly averted their eyes from the affection between their son and himself. "Gather everyone up that wants to come on the mission. Take the next few hours getting ready. Whatever you need to do. Load yourself up on runes, weapons, anything. We're going to need all the fight we can get," Magnus directed, and the two nodded, heading to leave the library without another word.

"As for you," Magnus said scoldingly, directing a firm gaze at Alec. "Sleep. Come on."

Alec groaned as Magnus tugged him out of the library and towards one of the many empty guest rooms, but as soon as he was at the edge of the bed, he collapsed on top of the clean, ironed linens. He looked so small curled up on the bed, the anger from earlier still bubbling under the surface, but outpaced now by the exhaustion. And if Magnus was as good at reading the fine lines of Alec's face as he thought he was, he saw that beneath it all, Alec was terrified.

Terrified of losing his best friend. His brother. Of not being able to help when his loved ones needed him. And more than anything, in that moment, Magnus wished there was a spell that could take all the pain and worry away from him.

But there wasn't, so instead Magnus took a spare blanket from the closet and draped it over his boyfriend, not bothering with attempting to pull the sheets from under his stiff and weary muscles. When he bent over to place a feather-light kiss at Alec's temple, he felt how cold and clammy his skin was, the usual tan tinted paler, and he brushed a hand over Alec's forehead to push back the messy locks.

Alec's eyes were already closed, his breathing quickly slowing down as he let himself give in to sleep, but when Magnus turned to leave, a weak grip stopped him, shaky fingers curling around his wrist.

"I don't…want you to come," Alec whispered haltingly, his eyes still closed, and the warlock heard in his voice the same fear that Magnus himself felt at the thought of Alec dealing with Sebastian and his demon hordes.

"If you are going then so am I," Magnus said sternly, "and besides, you'll need someone to portal you out. Get some rest. I'll wake you when we're ready to leave." Magnus turned to go a second time, but Alec's fingers stayed locked around his wrist, pulling him back to the edge of bed.

"If you're coming then you need rest, too. You said yourself that the spell drained both of us…" Alec argued, trailing off, an unspoken question on the tip of his tongue. His eyes were open now, still a duller blue than normal, half lidded and shadowed.

"There is still more for me to do before—"

"Stay with me?"

Alec let go of Magnus' hand as he asked, his eyes blinking heavily, fighting so hard to stay open, and Magnus felt a spark of worry shoot through him, something more than the anxiety that had already burrowed into his chest from the entirety of the situation. The moment felt oddly intimate, dreadfully final, as if Alec was asking for this one last favor before…. Well, Magnus wasn't sure. Before what?

No. He was being paranoid, letting his worry get the best of him. Perhaps he really did need some sleep as well.

"Of course," Magnus finally replied, and the smallest, gentlest smile curled the edge of Alec's mouth, the first smile he'd seen on him since Isabelle's phone call. It made Magnus' chest clench up in a twist of pain and love, and he shed his coat and shoes before climbing into the bed behind his boyfriend, pulling Alec's back to his chest and draping an arm over his side.

Alec sighed heavily, and Magnus focused on the sound of his breathing, the smell of his shampoo, his dark hair frizzy across the pillow, the feel of his heart beating beneath his palm. He placed another small kiss at the back of his neck, and the image of Alec's face when he told him he could feel Jace's wounds danced behind his eyes. He pulled Alec closer.

He thought of all the weight Alec carried on his shoulders, all the care and devotion he held, all of the hurt and joy and liveliness of the man in his arms, and he realized there, in the dark, plain spare bedroom of the Institute, that he would do anything in the world to protect Alec Lightwood.

Magnus fell into sleep listening to the steady rhythm of Alec's breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest under his hand, and dreamt of Alec laughing in Magnus' bed, his eyes a brighter blue than ever before.

When Alec awoke, he was alone, and there was a split moment of blissful and ignorant confusion at his waking in a spare bed at the Institute, before he remembered why he was here. What had happened. Why his body ached the way it did.

He pushed himself up on his elbows, scanning the room for Magnus, but the warlock was gone and the room was quiet. For a second, his heart raced, imagining the group leaving without him, but just as he began to climb out of the bed, the door creaked open and the room filled with the soft light of the hallway.

"You're awake," Magnus noted, entering the room with a cup in one hand. "How do you feel?"

"Actually…pretty well rested," Alec admitted as Magnus sat next to him, handing him the glass. He accepted it without question, the cool condensation around the outside refreshing against his palm.

"What time is it? How long did I sleep?"

"Don't worry. You were only asleep for four hours. I was just coming in to wake you up just now. Drink. It will help return more of your energy," Magnus said, motioning to the glass, and Alec did as he was told. It tasted lemony, just a hint of sweetness beneath the tart of the citrus, and he thought of Magnus allotting the extra time it took to add Alec's favorite flavor to the potion.

"What about you?" Alec asked, after downing the drink, and he was surprised by how quickly he felt the energy rush flow into him.

"I'm all set to go. A few hours of rest and a potion won't make up our strength completely, though. I will make the portal to get us there, but after doing the tracking spell, I may not be much help while we're at the hideout. Same goes for you. You might feel fine now, but the exhaustion is likely to strike again once you start physically exerting yourself," Magnus explained, and Alec frowned as he set the glass aside.

"I can still fight," Alec insisted, but at the tiresome look that spread across Magnus' face, he sighed and put his hands up. "I'll be careful. I promise. But I'm not waiting any longer."

"Thank you," Magnus breathed, and then he was standing and offering a hand to Alec, who accepted and let himself be pulled to his feet. "I will go back to the library to prepare the portal. You go let everyone know it's time to go. I believe Isabelle and Simon are in the kitchen." As the two of them parted ways, Alec rolled up his sleeves and began scribbling runes up and down his arms in preparation for the fight that was surely coming.

When Alec reached the kitchen, he found Izzy and Simon there as Magnus had suggested. Izzy was sitting on the counter, her head in her hands, while Simon gulped down a bag of blood that had been stored in the fridge. Simon looked horribly sick, and surprisingly, drinking the blood seemed to be making it worse—even as the veins in his arms lightened, his face seemed to twist in nauseous distaste. Isabelle also looked sick, and paler than usual despite the fact that Alec couldn't see her face, and he felt a sudden rush of guilt at having made them all wait in anxious limbo while he rested.

Maia was also there, and seemed to be the only person in the room not visibly sick or upset. She leaned calmly against the island, and Alec couldn't tell if she just didn't care about Clary and Jace, or if she was just hiding it behind her thick brown curls and stern, yet carefree expression. Izzy looked up as Alec entered the room, and Simon swallowed a final mouthful of blood.

"Magns is making the portal. Get anything you might need," he said, and Alec saw Izzy and Simon exchange a look before turning back to Alec.

Izzy hopped off the counter, and Alec saw she had covered herself in runes as well. "Alec, are you sure you should—"

"If one more person tells me I can't fight, I swear—" Alec started, a bit more aggressive than intended, and he ran a hand over his face when Izzy took a shocked step back. "Look, he's my brother just as much as yours. I'm not going to let what happened to Max happen again." Izzy fell silent with a flinch at their brother's name, and Alec grimaced. He was just saying what was on everyone's mind anyway. He hadn't been able to save Max. He couldn't fail Jace and Clary, too.

"Are you coming or not? Because so help me, I will go by myself—" Alec began, but Isabelle was already racing out of the kitchen, slamming her shoulder into his on the way out. His fists clenched at his sides as he took a deep breath, and the door banged shut with Izzy's exit.

"Sheesh, someone woke up grumpy," Maia said under her breath, and Simon cleared his throat awkwardly as Alec turned to glare at her.

"I'm, uh, going to wait in the library," Simon called as he followed Izzy out the door.

After a moment of silence, Alec turned to leave as well, before Maia called out his name.

"A few things happened while you were out. There was an emergency, and the pack had some stuff to deal with—Luke had to leave," she said, coming up behind him, and Alec prickled in aggravation, turning to face her.

Was no one but him taking this seriously? Everyone was trying to keep him from going, wanted to wait, bide time; what the hell was wrong with them? Didn't they know? Didn't they know what was happening to Jace and Clary right now, while they squabbled over plans and building energy?

"What could be more important than this? Than his own daughter being held captive and probably fucking tortured by her psychotic brother?" he demanded.

"Sebastian sent a group of greater demons to the headquarters. He told me to stay and help rescue Clary for him," she stated, her expression flat as she headed for the library, none of Alec's vexation echoing in her tone. He wanted to be upset by her lack of feeling, but then again, Maia was known to shut down her emotions when she didn't know what to think. Perhaps she was more concerned than she was letting on.

Perhaps Alec was being too harsh on everyone else.

But they couldn't feel what Jace was feeling. They couldn't feel him bleeding out in the cold.

"Wait…Greater Demons?" Alec said, suddenly realizing the weight of her words, following her bouncing curls to the lobby. Her warm hair and skin stood out against her bright yellow shirt. "How does he even control them?"

Maia shrugged and held out a hand, brushing it against the walls as they walked down the hall. "Honestly, I don't even question what Sebastian can do anymore," she said, and it was a fair point, Alec thought. Who knew what he could do, what connections he had, what powers Lilith allowed him?

As they approached the lobby, Jocelyn jumped up from a bench along the walkway. "You're awake! What are we going to do?" she asked, running up to them. "When Maryse said you'd gone to rest, I thought we weren't going to go…please tell me we're going to do something."

"I just needed a bit of sleep. I'm fine now. Magnus is making a portal to the mountains. The Clave says they're sending in troops and to stay out of it, but I think we all agree that we can't just sit back and watch this happen," Alec said.

Jocelyn nodded adamantly. "We're down one person. Luke had to leave," she said, and Alec could see the effort she was putting into trying not to appear worried.

"I know. Maia filled me in. And I'm sure my mother and father will stay here, in case the Clave tries to reach out. We need someone here to be our correspondence with them, and to keep an eye out. It'll just be me, you, Maia, Simon, Izzy, and Magnus."

Jocelyn nodded again, this time less enthused, clearly not liking their numbers against whatever might be waiting at Sebastian's mountain hideout, but she said nothing, and the three of them continued to the library.

Izzy and Simon were already there, Izzy all geared up, her black armor layer on, her silver whip coiling up her arm. Two seraph blades were strapped to her sides, and a dagger along her other forearm, but Alec knew she would only use them as a last resort. She hated swords over her whip. When she saw Alec enter the library, she frowned and looked away. He knew he should reconcile with her, but there would be time for apologies later.

Simon stood next to her awkwardly, his hands at his sides, a dagger borrowed from Isabelle at his waist. He still looked sickly, but by his slightly reddened face and clenched fists, Alec figured anger was finally kicking in over shock.

Magnus stood in the corner, looking not much different than before they went to bed, and Alec wondered if he didn't just lay with Alec until he fell asleep before getting up again. The dark shadows under his eyes made him look older than his usual eighteen, his hair blue and sparkled and sticking out in every possible direction, more messy than its usual styled spikes. Maryse and Robert stood behind the desk, his mother's fingers locked together nervously, his father's hand on her back.

"Ready?" Magnus asked, and every head in the room bobbed in agreement. Alec watched Magnus turn to the wall and begin tracing symbols with his fingers, his signature colored sparks flying, and a blue swirling form began to take shape. When the warlock's muscles tensed and his arms began shaking with the effort, Alec immediately stepped over to place a hand on his shoulder, his worries that Magnus rested only briefly confirmed. Magnus slumped back against him as he finished opening the portal.

"I'm sorry, Magnus," Alec said, but when he looked to his boyfriend, he seemed solely focused on the magic, his forehead wrinkled in concentration. "I shouldn't be asking this of you," Alec continued, "and you shouldn't always have to fix my problems—"

"Stop," Magnus whispered, his voice low and hoarse. "I love you, Alexander, and even if I didn't care for your family, I would do this for you, but I do care about them. You've made them my family, too," Magnus took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he finished writing on the wall, " and I feel welcome here, perhaps for the first time in my life."

The blue shifting cloud grew over the wall before solidifying into the portal, and Magnus looked back at Alec with a small smile. "I would do anything for you, Alec."

Alec couldn't help but return the look. "I love you, too, Magnus."

The two of them stepped back from the portal as the others crowded forward, and Magnus stumbled a bit as they moved, immediately falling onto Alec, who scooped under his arms.

"Sorry…" Magnus mumbled and put a hand out to brace himself. "It drained me a bit more than expected." Alec shook his head and hugged Magnus to his chest as he regained his balance, and the others lined up as he stood back to his full height.

Without speaking, Izzy stepped through the portal, her black hair whipped up behind her in the whirling light. Simon was just behind her, before Maia stepped through, leaving Alec, Magnus, and Jocelyn.

Robert came around the desk and placed his hands on Magnus' shoulders, and for once, Alec thought he saw a true sadness sinking into his features. He looked so much older, so much more tired, than the stern man Alec remembered as his father.

"Take some of my energy. I won't need it," Robert offered, and Magnus sighed, breathing in deeply and absorbing the man's energy as he did so. Magnus almost immediately perked up, no longer slouching or shaky on his feet, and with a nod Robert returned to Maryse's side.

Sliding a dagger from his weapons belt, Alec handed it to Magnus hilt first. "Just in case—"

Magnus accepted the blade, gently tucking it away, and cut off the rest of Alec's words with a soft kiss before stepping back into the portal and pulling Alec through behind him.