In the sub-basement of the World Crime League headquarters, a meatball-covered hand reaches onto the ground, picking up the d1. loss averter inspects the legendary Artifact, rolling it around in its hands before clasping it tightly.
Mealius Coblat, in a call with his fellow chuckos, is now back from the hospital and back to his trolling ways, using his dad's email to avoid getting in trouble online. The moderators of the forum he's assaulting sound the troll alarm to indicate that someone is causing mischief and doing no good, but Coblat is a scheming little scoundrel, and the mods just can't seem to stop him.
"I'm about to type in the s-word." Mealius Coblat declares to his chuckos, who can hardly contain their giggles and snickers. Just as Coblat goes to press the enter key, though, his door is kicked open by Condensed Wadley, who presents his Internet Defender scout patch.
"Trolling is a PLAGUE ON SOCIETY! Get on the ground, now." Wadley commands.
"Oh yeah? What're you gonna do about it…" Coblat squints, reading the label on Wadley's body. "...Sweetened Condensed Waldey?"
Wadley seems astonished that Coblat knew his name, or at least almost knew his name.
"Hand over the evidence or you're getting downloaded to prison/jail!" Wadley orders, but Coblat does not back down. With some but not all of his options exhausted, Wadley decides to just tackle Mealius Coblat to the ground and suck out his essence, only causing Wadley to ascend by less than a smidgen, not even gaining a true new form, instead just becoming tinted blue in appearance.
Meanwhile, in the Yiggy Dome in Minneapolis, the anarchists finish their master plan, and unveil their newly created supervirus. However, during the grand reveal of the supervirus, some dumbass drops the vial, causing it to shatter, and releasing the virus upon all of Minneapolis. This virus has no effect on any living creatures, but all technology and human inventions are reverted to the stone age. The virus takes its roots in the heart of the Yiggy Dome as the anarchists flee the scene, not wanting to spend their lives in a city with no proper plumbing or running refrigerators. However, amidst the horde of fleeing residents, one creature is heading deeper into Minneapolis, being the slippery beast known as Dolph-In. Dolph-In hears a bad buzzing, and swims through the air, passing by Valparaiso Garciaparra, who scored twice in his career as a sophomore in the United Arab Emirates Slime festival. Valparaiso leaves the micronation immediately. Dolph-In sees a Neolithic Gamer Fly buzz out of the Yiggy Dome and onto the street, and it immediately sets its vile sights on Dolph-In. Dolph-In lacks hair and lacks fear and approaches the fly, as it unveils a large, obviously explosive hunk of rock, pried off of a Flintstones-style car, threatening to let it loose. Dolph-In makes dolphin noises in an attempt to communicate, but the fly is still threatening to launch a bomb strike. Dolph-In, despite his complete lack of any bomb disarming experience, feels that he is best suited for this job, and goes up to the rock, finding a wheel on it with numbers and a button. As his first and only guess, Dolph-In puts in the number "1" and pushes the button, and the rock stops glowing, losing its explosive properties as the Neolithic Gamer Fly starts to weep. For this feat, Dolph-In goes up by one place on the Dolph-In leaderboard, which consists only of him. This puts him at spot number 56, which he's been trying to reach for a while.
Elsewhere, Voicetext Victor reports that he's back from the airport, which is a bit weird, because he didn't need to go to an airport, because he was already in town. Victor announces this to the hungry seagull Billerica, who ignores him, since Billerica just wants sustenance.
"It's cool to szpiech and Condell the fish." says Victor. Billerica heeds this advice, and spots Condell, viewing Condell the magic fish as a potential tasty treat. Victor takes out his crungle bar, and Condell says he'll give Victor a wish in exchange for said crungle bar. Ifixster, a web application gone rogue, instead decides to just grab Condell and offer him directly to Billerica. Billerica thanks Ifixster for neatly packaging Condell in a to-go bag, and Ifixster returns to the git hub with his gang of delinqscripts.
"Excuse me but WHERE is the ketchup?" demands Billerica, only to soon find that the ketchup is intuitively placed inside of Condell. Billerica repeatedly stomps on Condell to get the ketchup out, making a big mess, which Billerica views as disgusting. Billerica goes home, leaving Condell behind to suffer and die.
Windsor Clementine finishes planting a sign in the ground outside of the Windsor Clementine Legislature's building, advertising that he is now selling the property and all of its contents in a yard sale. The first customers to show up, surprisingly or unsurprisingly depending on who you ask, are Cybr and El Diablo.
"What can I interest you in today, sir?" Windsor asks.
"We would like to purchase your building." El Diablo states.
"Ah, that's very good- wait a second, aren't you guys the criminals that we took to the Pole Ice Department?"
"No? Actually, maybe. Probably. But that shouldn't matter, we're talking purely on business terms right now."
"Well, I guess it's not my place to enforce the law. Actually, it is, but not for this."
"Excellent to hear."
"See anything you like? And would you care for an orange?"
"How much?"
"Well, the orange is free in my offer here."
"No, for the building. How much for that?"
"You'll need to buy everything else here and the building will come with it for free as a bonus."
"Okay, and how much would all of that cost?'
"Why don't you make me an offer?"
"How about fifty thousand?"
"You're one short." Windsor declares, a wide grin on his face.
"Here." Cybr says, flipping El Diablo a single monetary unit, which El Diablo slaps on the table alongside the 50,000 he offered earlier. By his own terms, Windsor has to accept this payment, and he stands up and leaves with all of the monetary units in hand. With a new building obtained, which even conveniently already has a big "WCL" sign, El Diablo and Cybr head back to the old building to go and fetch the rest of the World Crime League members and tell them the good news.