Mugsy and Windsor emerge from the kitchen and head upstairs to confront El Diablo. The two of them stare down the computer with their arms crossed, and El Diablo eventually notices that they're waiting for him to say something, and speaks up.
"Hello? Do you want something, or are you just standing guard? Are we under attack?" El Diablo glances around, and Windsor shakes his head.
"We aren't under attack, but we need to take action, and we need to do it soon. That guy robbed us of our most prized possession." Windsor states.
"Well, yeah, that hat is one of a kind, you know-"
"No, not the hat, old fool! The crime pole!" Windsor snaps, catching El Diablo off guard.
"Right, right…the…'crime pole', yeah. My bad. That was…?"
"The pole? That we slide down, when we do crimes? The crime pole? I guess you wouldn't understand, seeing how you don't really leave the throne room ever."
"What my buddy here is trying to say, boss, is that we need to go out on a mission to re-steal our stuff." Mugsy says, stepping forwards.
"Alright, alright, that's fine, all you had to do was say so. Do we have any idea where the guy who robbed us went?"
"Not at all, but we can probably find out pretty easily. He doesn't seem to specialize in subtlety." Windsor notes. "I think we should hold a meeting right now to discuss our plan of attack."
"Agreed." El Diablo hits the emergency meeting button on his throne, causing everyone in the building to head to the conference room.
"Can't you see I'm busy?! I've just had a stroke of genius, don't you dare interrupt me again." Adzaster proclaims angrily before anyone even talks. He stands up and huffs off as he heads back downstairs to the basement.
"Why did he even come up here?" ponders Bunny's Shadow, before just shrugging the occurrence off. El Diablo looks around, taking inventory of everyone at the table, which includes several new hires who were recruited after the mission to kill Eddie Mercury.
"Alright, well, before we get to business, I'm not sure if all of us are acquainted, given the new faces." El Diablo remarks. The people at the table exchange glances, and wait for El Diablo to continue.
"So, first off, as we all know, I'm the boss around here. Most just call me El Diablo, and in my current state, I'll be calling the shots, and not much else. I can't really get involved in the action the way I used to."
"This is stupid, just introduce the new guys. We don't need to play meet and greet." Chiminal scoffs.
"When did you get here?" El Diablo remarks, surprise present in his tone.
"You called the meeting, didja not? You thought I would just skip out on potential crime? Do you even know me? I'm Chiminal, after all. I've been fightin' the law longer than all you bozos, and better, too, even if I don't have a perfect record."
"Thank you for that introduction, Chiminal. Let's move to the next person. I believe some of us know him from before, but he only recently joined our ranks properly." El Diablo's screen turns into an arrow pointing at a raccoon wearing a crown, who is currently rummaging through a trash bin in the corner.
"Oh hey, I remember that guy! That's Trash King, right?" Mugsy exclaims.
"Yeah? What about it, what's it to ya?" Trash King says, glancing back at the table.
"If you remember Trash King, then I'm sure you also remember his innate ability to travel between dumpsters and trash cans in a given area instantaneously."
"Ey, that's not all it does! Gimme some garbage." Trash King demands. One of the new members crumples up a dirty piece of paper and tosses it to Trash King, who summons his Stand, One Man's Trash. Trash King dives into the dumpster with the paper in his mouth, and when he comes out, it's been replaced with a small golden bracelet.
"Holy shit, for real? Why don't we just dump all our garbage in there? We wouldn't have to bother robbing anyone for money if we did." Bunny says.
"Well where's the fun in that, huh?!" Chiminal says, slamming his fist on the table. Trash King nods in agreement.
"I take my garbage very seriously. It ain't a toy, bud." Trash King remarks.
"Boneregard, how about you go next, you already seem to be zoning out." El Diablo says, and Boneregard shakes his head for a moment, becoming slightly more attentive.
"Eh?" Boneregard says, before realizing what was asked of him. "Er, yeah, sure. I'm Boneregard, ya might've heard a me from the skeleton leaderboard, or the crime leaderboard. We still have that, right?"
Mugsy nods and gives a thumbs up, and Boneregard continues.
"Alright. Well, what I do around here, is that whenever there's a locked door, I open it. Whenever there's not a locked door, I see no reason to get involved in things."
"Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I think we've heard enough from this bag of bones. Can we please address this guy?" says the same guy who gave Trash King the paper, pointing at another new member, who is wearing a miner's helmet and has a gigantic rod magnet strapped to his back.
"YES, OF COURSE! I, AM BLIGHT!" says the man, jumping up on the table and striking a pose, swinging around his magnet and very nearly knocking off several heads in the process. "I am the blight that plagues any and all do-gooders! The antithesis of peace and happiness! And the one who wields…INFINITE POWER!"
"That's what he calls his Stand, I think. I've never actually seen him use it." El Diablo whispers to the other members.
"INFINITE! POWERRRRRR!" Blight repeats, clenching one of his robotic fists menacingly. A few members give some weak applause to the display, and Blight returns to his seat, smirking.
"Oh, oh, can I go? That inspired me." says Windsor, raising his hand.
"You aren't technically a member of the World Crime League, but I guess you hang around here enough that you might as well go." El Diablo sighs.
"Whoa, whoa, criminals have honor, you know. This guy's a goody two shoes wannabe. We can't just let him introduce himself in OUR domain." Chiminal interrupts. Windsor conks Chiminal in the head with an orange created by his Stand, and stands on the table like Blight did.
"I am the one they call Windsor Clementine!" Windsor begins, and Blight scoffs, muttering "rip-off" under his breath. "I used to own this place, but then I sold it to you guys, but then I couldn't find anywhere else to live, so here I am! Don't worry, I'm everyone's favorite around here. Everyone loves me."
"I don't love you." says that same new member from before.
"Well that's just because you don't know me yet. You'll come to your senses." Windsor steps down, and the room remains in awkward silence for several seconds. The silence is eventually broken by not cool, who remains in his seat when he talks like an actual dignified person.
"Okay, I guess I'll go. Here's what I can do." not cool brings out his Stand, Warning Signs, and it fires a laser beam from its singular eye towards a mug on the table. The mug melts into a puddle of ceramic, but the table around the mug is completely untouched.
"Hey, my Mugsy mug!" whines Mugsy, looking at the remains of the mug sadly.
"And my friend here isn't much of a talker, so I guess I'll go for them, too. They're here." not cool gestures at the proposition, who squats in place a few times, before flipping into the second dimension and reappearing in 3D space on the other side of the room.
"I'll go next, then, so we can get through this a bit faster." Bunny's Shadow says. "I'm Bunny's Shadow. I don't really have a specialty, but I have a lot of general experience in the field of crime."
Everyone looks to Bunny, expecting him to go next, but instead, another new member, Gingerman, Duke of Wales, speaks up.
"Call me Gingerman." says Gingerman, giving a toothless smile to the rest of the table. "I can tell you right now, that you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and me souldn't be here, but we are."
Gingerman points at numerous members while saying this, and then folds his gloved hands in front of him.
"Not sure what he means by that really, but he's killed over four hundred people, so he's definitely pretty good when it comes to crime." explains El Diablo. "He kills people and takes their teeth, and then eats them."
"How does that help us?" asks that same other new member from before.
"You'll see." says Gingerman, his smile widening.
"Okay, well, hi, I'm Mugsy, and you might be wondering, the hell can this guy do? I dunno, but, WAIT WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE?!" Mugsy points to the corner, and most of the members look over to see absolutely nothing out of place. When they look back, Mugsy is gone from his seat, but soon he peeks out from one of the nearby offices. "Haha, I made you look! That's my specialty, I distract people!"
"Shamazon, you've been awfully quiet, why don't you introduce yourself next?" El Diablo says.
"Hmph. So be it." Shamazon looks up, placing his hands flat on the table. "I am Shamazon. I am no longer the protector of the Shamazon Painforest, but I am still its discoverer. I have superhuman strength and the ability to erase foes and obstacles with a single swipe from my Stand. I am rather new to the life of crime, but feel that this is a good place for me in my current circumstances."
"I guess I'll introduce myself so that I can get back to my own work. I'm Cybr, I work with computers, don't bother me, that's all." Cybr gets up from the table and heads into his office, locking the door behind him.
"fie! cometh h're and englut mine own coxcomb thee distemperate blinking idiot!" declares the penultimate new member, who is wearing a medieval outfit.
"I think what he's trying to say is that he's Virgil the Vagabond. Usually more of a lone wolf type, but he's decided to grace us with his villainous services." El Diablo elaborates. "Alright, just three left, let's wrap this up so we can actually get to business here."
"Okay, sure. I'm Bunny, basically everything Bunny's Shadow said applies to me, too, because he's like, my clone pretty much. So yeah. Next." Bunny says. mxy groans, but speaks anyways.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm mxy, I'm the driver, we already introduced me at our last meeting, there's really not much else to say. Let's just get this over with already." mxy says, and all the other members turn to face the last new member, a man wearing a blue ski mask covering his face.
"Y'all really built like a bunch of, like, if the way there are goblins, there were also goblouts." remarks this member, who is in fact the second anti-brother of Grime Lad, known as Crime Lad. "I'm Crime Lad. Do I really need to say anything further? I think I've made my point quite clear."
"Why aren't you wearing any pants?" Mugsy observes.
"Uh, durr, I dunno, is it not a crime to not wear them, huh?" Crime Lad twirls his finger around the side of his head and sticks his tongue out at Mugsy.
"Well, it's actually 'no shirts, no shoes, no service', it never says anything about pants." Mugsy corrects.
"Oh yeah?! Well-" Crime Lad begins, before El Diablo interjects.
"Mugsy, you and Crime Lad can go and get some pants after this meeting. But for now, we've got everyone introduced, so we can finally get to the real reason why we came here. As most of us know, something of great value was taken from us, so we're gonna do what we do best and fight crime with better crime."
The table erupts into applause, and El Diablo waits for it to calm down before continuing.
"We currently do not know the whereabouts of our assailant, but I'd reckon we could track them down pretty easily with our resources, and then we'll launch an all-out assault to reclaim what is wrongfully ours!"
"Yeah! For the crime pole!" shouts Windsor, standing up from his seat. The rest of the members begin chanting "crime pole!" and stand up to join Windsor, except for Boneregard, who remains asleep at the table.
"Yes, yes. So, meeting adjourned for now, but be ready for a mission soon, probably within the week." El Diablo retreats back to the throne room, and the rest of the members disperse throughout the building, except for Mugsy and Crime Lad.
"Alright, well, I'm banned from just about every clothing store in the city for stealing, buuuut, I think I know just the place to go to get you some pants." Mugsy says. "Let's head to…the Pole Ice Department!"