Hours in the past, but not many…
Cybr notices an email informing him that his free helicopter from Special Ed's has arrived, and he gets up and heads outside to see if it's anything worthwhile. To his surprise, it's actually a genuine helicopter, with "CYBR-COPTER" painted on the side in large letters. Cybr closes the door and heads back inside, and then heads upstairs to talk to El Diablo.
"Hey, Diablo, I just got a helicopter, for some reason or another. Can anyone who works here fly a helicopter?"
"I think the advertising guy's resume said something about that." El Diablo responds.
"Better than nothing, I guess. Come on, is it just us two and him left here?"
"Boneregard seems to have slept in, so he's also available. I take it this is like when you had us go to that convention a few months back?"
"Yes."
With that, Cybr picks up El Diablo, strapping him to his back like a backpack and heading downstairs to confront Boneregard.
"Hey Boneregard, come on, you overslept so you have to go on a mission with us now."
"Aw man. I missed the crime pole?" Boneregard gets up groggily.
"Yes. Come on." Cybr gestures for Boneregard to follow, and then heads to the basement and knocks on Adzaster's door. Adzaster's glaring eye can be seen through the peephole, and then the sounds of numerous contraptions and chains are heard from the other side of the door before it opens slightly.
"This better be good." Adzaster states.
"Your resume says you can fly a helicopter, is that true?"
Adzaster doesn't say anything, instead quickly unlocking the rest of the door locks and bolting past Cybr and Boneregard to head outside and get in the helicopter. Cybr and Boneregard rush after him, barely managing to get in before he takes off.
"That was unanticipated, but I guess it works. Come on, I need you to take us to the Sunric Desert." Cybr says. Adzaster yanks on the controls to change the helicopter course, and zooms through the air towards the mentioned destination. After flying over Costa Brava and past the city limits for some time, the sandy hills of the Sunric Desert come into view.
"So, what exactly are we looking for here?" El Diablo asks from Cybr's back.
"I'll know when I see it. There." Cybr points down at a barely-visible door in the ground, and Adzaster brings the helicopter down for a landing, kicking up loads of sand as he touches down. Cybr gets out, and Boneregard follows him to the door. Sure enough, the door is locked, but just like any locked door, Boneregard is able to use Skeleton Key to open it easily. Upon descending into the bunker, Cybr and Boneregard pass into a large open room, seemingly devoid of activity. The room seems totally empty, save for a gargantuan bronze statue of Obama's head situated on the other side. As Cybr and Boneregard venture deeper into the room, though, the statue's eyes light up with fire and it begins to move, revealing it to actually be a tank-like vehicle, clearly being piloted from within the impenetrable shell.
"That might be a problem." Boneregard observes as the head draws closer, its mouth beginning to glow as it prepares to release a blast of flames. Cybr and Boneregard dodge to opposite sides to avoid the spewing fire, and the head turns with surprising agility to keep up with Cybr's movements, barely giving him any opportunity to get away from the flames. Without letting up at all, the head charges down Cybr at full speed, crashing into him. Cybr uses his own body to protect El Diablo from the impact, but the head hasn't stopped moving, and seems to be speeding up towards the wall to crush Cybr and El Diablo against it. El Diablo brings out his Stand and uses its strength to push back against the wall as it gets closer, but the strength of the Stand isn't enough to fully hold back the gargantuan bronze Obama head. Boneregard throws his hat at the nightmarish contraption, but it uselessly dinks off of the metallic surface, falling to the ground. The machine continues accelerating against El Diablo's force, and El Diablo's screen begins to crack from the pressure. Realizing that he himself is the primary target here, Cybr throws El Diablo to the side, and, now unburdened, is able to utilize the fluid-like nature of his body to slide out from between the head and the wall. El Diablo remains on the ground due to his immobility, unable to really do anything other than spectate the fight and update his internal files. Boneregard snatches up his hat just in time to avoid having it run over by the head, and Cybr scans the vehicle for any sort of weakness or entry point.
"There's some kind of opening up top, it seems like it might be a weak point. You think if you get up there you could do anything?" Cybr calls out to Boneregard. Boneregard sizes up the head, and shakes his skull back and forth.
"Don't think I can get up there at all. Too high up."
"Can't you just, take your arm off and throw it? And pick it back up if you miss?"
"What exactly would that accomplish?"
"It looks like the opening is some kind of lock that keeps the thing shut. If you just stick your key in there it should open it up, or at least stop it."
"Ah, I see now." Boneregard rolls up his sleeve and pops his arm out of its socket with Skeleton Key in hand. As the Obama head turns around for another charge, he throws his arm upwards, and, as it clatters across the rounded roof of the vehicle, he manages to jam Skeleton Key into the hole, causing the machine to come to an abrupt halt. The front and back halves of the Obama head split open and fall down, and inside is Rubinn, whose ejector seat immediately propels him upwards. However, since this machine was designed to be used in outdoor environments, Rubinn is sent flying straight into the ceiling head-first, and falls to the ground unconscious afterwards. Cybr takes out his needle and approaches Rubinn, before sticking the needle into him, capturing his Stand, Hidden in the Sand, into the form of a crystal ball.
"You mean all this was just for another one of yer weird knickknacks you've been collecting?" Boneregard sighs.
"This one is actually useful to us. With this, I should be able to track anybody just by knowing their name or alias. Which means…" Cybr approaches El Diablo, pulling him upright and strapping him to his back again. "Our next mission is rather obvious."