Shamazon barges into Dan's Diet Clinic, getting a bizarre look from the few people hanging around inside.
"May we help you?" asks Aquar, who is taking a drink from the water cooler. Shamazon's eyes scan the room, and he sneers.
"Where is Ignis?" Shamazon demands.
"Who? We don't have an 'Ignis' here." Aquar responds plainly, before taking an oddly hefty sip of water.
"I know he's here. Or at least nearby. I just need to know where. Tell me, and I'll consider leaving you alive. He's the only one I'm after."
"Hi after, I'm Dad!" says Dad.
"I cannot tell you where someone is when I don't know who they are." Aquar responds once more, once again taking a big drink of water. Shamazon brings out D, grabs its pencil, and hurls it towards the water cooler, erasing the cooler as well as piercing through the wall behind it and bifurcating Teck Sport, whose workspace happened to be right there. Teck Sport doesn't even realize he's been attacked, and his dead body just falls into two pieces, while Aquar stares on. The loud, grating sound from D's eraser draws the attention of Paalgae, who comes rushing in from down the hall.
"What's going on? What was that noise?"
"This guy just killed the IT guy, whatever his name was. Tech support or something." Aquar points at the dead body.
"Dang it, I needed computer help! I was just about to go ask him why my laptop kept freezing!"
While Paalgae and Aquar are distracted, Shamazon retrieves his pencil, and still finds no signs of Ignis in the area. Shamazon returns to the main area, and grabs Aquar from behind, holding her at eraserpoint.
"So, do you still not know where Ignis is?" Shamazon growls. Aquar does her best to pretend she doesn't see the Stand, and keeps her cool.
"Please let go of me, we can talk this out. I can help you find him if it's that urgent, I just thought it was weird that you came to a diet clinic to look for someone."
"Okay then. Sure." Shamazon releases Aquar, and Aquar quickly turns to Paalgae and nods at him, before running away. Shamazon tries to chase her, but Paalgae quickly throws out a handful of seeds from Bloom, causing thick roots to entangle Shamazon, holding him in place.
"You're not going anywhere, bud. Not sure why you're so obsessed with this guy, but you've proven yourself a threat, and now we're gonna have to eliminate you." Paalgae states, backing away to stay out of D's effective range. Shamazon begins using D to erase the roots around him, but finds this difficult to pull off safely due to how tightly the roots have him ensnared, so he holds off, instead looking for an opening to attack Paalgae and deactivate the Stand. Aquar, meanwhile, has reached the water fountain, and begins drinking from it nonstop. Her aqua blue hair seems to get longer and wilder as she does this, until she gets up and wipes off her mouth, before rushing back to the scene.
"Liquid, you remembered to tell Matchstick to stay out of this while you were over there fueling Smoke on the Water, right?" Paalgae glances at Aquar.
"Ohhhhh crap, I should've done that, huh? Uh, hang on." Aquar grabs her communication device and pulls it up to her ear. "Matchstick, don't come into the lobby, that Shamazon guy is looking for you!"
"Coulda told me that earlier." Ignis says, stepping out of the elevator behind Aquar. "It's fine, this should be over with quickly."
Ignis walks towards Shamazon and rests his foot on the roots surrounding him, causing flames to start appearing on them. Shamazon sees Ignis, and promptly thrusts D's eraser straight towards his head. Ignis ducks in time to dodge this.
"So, what's your deal, anyways? I thought we were on the same page, being pyromaniacs, and all."
"You stole everything from me by burning down the Painforest." Shamazon scowls. "They put the blame on me, and exiled me from my own domain. If I can kill you, it'll prove my worth, and I can return to my proper role."
"Man, I wish I could take credit for that whole fiasco. That fire was like nothing I've ever seen, a real spectacle. I was actually trying to burn it down, but then you beat me to it, and I had to get out to avoid being roasted alive."
Shamazon begins sweating from the heat as the flames around him grow hotter. He grimaces in pain, and D's grip on its pencil slips away as he loses concentration. Just as it seems like he's going to pass out, though, Shamazon's eyes jolt open, blazing with fury, and he forces his arms free from the roots, shattering them.
"I…am the rightful protector of the Painforest…it is my duty to protect…and to protect, I must…"
Shamazon clutches at his headband, digging his fingernails into the tightly woven strands.
"destroy…DeStrOy…DESTROY…"
As Shamazon yells out and tears through the threads of the headband, the flames surrounding him take on a bright blue hue. Shamazon rips his hands to the sides, leaving his headband with massive gashes in it, and causing the identities of Shamazon and Shazamitas to merge together, creating a new entity altogether known as Shamazamitas. The roots burn away entirely as Shamazamitas screams out in rage, and Ignis, Aquar, and Paalgae all back away in shock.
"Did this motherfucker just do a phase transition?" Ignis states, staring in awe as Shamazamitas rises up.
"I see it all clearly now. I am no protector, nor am I the harbinger. I…am the Prince of Fire! Now...can we hit 100 faves?" Shamazamitas begins shooting off both calamitous flames and blue flames in every direction, with even D taking on a flaming state as it becomes a combination of itself and Raw, Unfiltered Calamity known as Tenacious D. Tenacious D swipes its flaming pencil in a spiraling formation around Shamazamitas, giving the appearance of a tornado of fire. Paalgae holds his arms in front of him to shield himself against the heat, backing away towards the wall.
"How the hell do we fight this?!" Paalgae calls out.
"Let me handle this, water beats fire!" yells Aquar. Her hair splits into several hose-like tendrils, which she maneuvers to spray water on the fire and quell the flames somewhat.
"Well, I can't really do anything if he's fireproof, so I guess I'll just sit this one out." Ignis declares, running back towards the elevator. Before he can reach, though, a massive fireball lands in front of him, blowing up and sending him back towards Shamazamitas.
"You will not be spared. This is the consequence of your sin!" Shamazamitas's eyes are wild with rage, and his attacks are barely even focused, seeming more like just aimless explosions. However, he is still impossible to approach, with Tenacious D continuing to spew out fire in all directions. Aquar is able to put out the flames, but the moisture evaporates too fast to keep them quelled for very long, and she has a limited supply to work with, so she needs to find a more effective approach before she can try to attack Shamazamitas. Aquar tries to find Paalgae through the smoke and flames, but runs straight into Tenacious D, which proceeds to slash right through one of her arms. The arm dissipates into water vapor after falling to the ground, and Aquar curses to herself, but just gets away from Tenacious D and continues looking for Paalgae, knowing that she can easily get her arm back once the threat is dealt with. Paalgae sees Aquar running around with no clear objective, and waves from behind a cabinet. Aquar rushes over, thankfully able to use the smoke from the fire as cover so Shamazamitas doesn't spot her.
"What's the big deal, you said you'd handle this!" Paalgae says in a hushed but urgent tone.
"I can't keep the fire at bay long enough, and don't want to use up all my water trying. I need you to use Bloom to give me an opening. The roots should clear the flames, if only for a moment, and that's all I need."
"You aren't planning on…?"
"Do I have a choice here?! If I don't do it now, we all probably die, and then everyone else in the Order and probably the city and maybe the world dies, too."
"Alright, yeah. This better work." Paalgae steps out from his cover, and yells out through the flames. "Hey, lunatic! Aren't you supposed to be killing us?"
Shamazamitas's glowing blue glare pierces through the smoke as he turns to look at Paalgae. Paalgae gulps, but doesn't back down.
"Made you look, dumbass! Just as I introduced this fight with Bloom, it'll be the outro, too!" Paalgae throws seeds through the fire, and they once again ensnare Shamazamitas in a cocoon of roots. The fire dissipates around him, and through the smoky haze, the roots can be seen burning up rapidly. Aquar takes a deep breath, and holds up her hand in a finger-gun gesture, before launching out a small amphipod known as One Shot Johnny. Johnny sails through the air, and through a hole burned through the roots surrounding Shamazamitas, and just as all the roots burn away, Johnny punches Shamazamitas with all his might, and sends him crashing into the wall, with a web of cracks appearing in the concrete behind him. To everyone's shock, Shamazamitas, after laying still for a few moments, coughs and opens his eyes once again.
"I must…blaze brighter, burn hotter…" flames begin to spread across the room again, and Aquar panickedly shoots them out, but her hair length is already almost back to what it started at, and she still needs some water to fix her arm once Shamazamitas is dealt with. One Shot Johnny, done reeling from surprise, and now fueled by anger, dashes towards Shamazamitas again, and punches him not once, not twice, but twelve times in rapid succession. Each punch sends Shamazamitas deeper into the wall, until he bursts all the way through, falling onto the pavement outside. Shamazamitas looks up just in time to see One Shot Johnny diving through the hole after him, with his fist coming straight towards Shamazamitas's face. The moment the fist connects, everything goes dark for Shamazamitas, due to his head being exploded like a watermelon. One Shot Johnny scuttles away, sobbing that he, for the first time, could not live up to his title. Aquar, Paalgae, and Ignis all peer through the hole in the wall in a somewhat comical manner, but their attention is drawn back inside by the sound of someone clearing their throat.
"What the hell happened up here? I heard it all the way from the basement." Carlos says, not acknowledging the massive blood splatter on his jacket. "Why is everything burnt? What's with the hole? Why is there a horse in here?"
Everyone looks where Carlos is pointing when he says that last part, and they can see that Kira has arrived, and is standing in the doorway.
"I see you dealt with it, so at least I don't need to kick you…" Kira mutters. "Any clue who that guy was? Or why he was using a Canon Breach?"
"Cannon…breach? He definitely didn't have a cannon. I think we would've noticed that." Paalgae comments.
"Never mind that part. Who was he?"
"Shamazon, some old kook who-" Paalgae begins, but before he can even finish explaining, Kira turns around, heading back towards the remains of the Painforest.