A new day dawns in the Touristic Realm, a popular destination for people from all over to enjoy many spectacles and fantastic experiences. A pod lands near the front gates of the most famous park in the entire Realm: Disnerp Land. From the pod emerge four figures: Onyx, a mask-wearing satyr with a bit of a stumble in his step, Terrent, who appears to just be a kid in a sheet ghost costume, Li'l G. Jr., some sort of small creature encased in an eggshell, and Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery, who needs no further introduction. This group of imposing oddballs heads right up to the gates, where the Realm's number one tour guide, Arnold, is waiting for them.
"Welcome, special guests! It is a great honor to be able to guide you through this park!" Arnold declares, giving a hand-crushing handshake to Onyx and Bartholomew, but when he tries to shake Terrent's hand, it passes right through. Arnold then gives a friendly pat to Li'l G., and is about to start walking through the gates, but Terrent speaks up in an echoing, ethereal voice.
"Hey, you didn't greet Terramorphous!" Terrent wails, and Arnold turns around.
"Oh, my apologies! I did not realize he was joining you! It is an honor to meet you!" Arnold seemingly grasps the air and gives it a vigorous up and down shake. Arnold then leads the group through the gates and into the world of imagination and wonder that lies beyond. "Follow me, I will lead the way!"
The group follows Arnold throughout the park, having a blast as they ride on roller coasters, take funny pictures, and eat comically expensive meals. However, as the group is walking towards a carousel, Onyx seems to have a realization, and perks up.
"Hang on guys, we came 'ere for a reason. We're lookin' for Citrun, yeh? I'mma go look in there." Onyx points towards a nearby tavern, letting out a hiccup as he does. The rest of his group nod in agreement, and Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery gives Onyx a thumbs up, as the satyr splits off from the others to head into the bar.
Inside the bar, a dethroned demon lord and former politician known as Levus de Flumus de Cruciatus Piceum is serving drinks to a ragtag team of misfits. Onyx promptly sits down at a stool and starts ordering multiple drinks, before speaking up after taking a large swig.
"Hey, any o' you guys seen a flower man 'round these parts? We're *hic* lookin' for someone."
"Like, dude, look no further!" a man named Shugi Roberts says, while he rolls a fresh joint. He points towards a vase of purple flowers sitting on a shelf behind Levus, and Onyx looks at the vase, glancing between it and a reference photo of Citrun a few times.
"Hey, let me see that!" a shrill voice says, and a bony hand plucks the picture from Onyx. This hand belongs to Skeletone, a skeletal bard who sits at the very very bottom of the skeleton leaderboard. "Oh, I think I saw this guy earlier, actually! Here, let me sing a song about it!"
"Nobody wants to hear you sing, Skeletone. People come to this park to have a GOOD time." a short, gruff man named Melvin Meles states. "Let him enjoy his drinks."
"Yeah, you right. I like 'ow you think." Onyx slurs, taking another hearty swig before passing out against the counter.
"...Onyx. ONYX!"
Onyx wakes up to the voice of Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery, unaware of how much time has passed since he fell asleep. Everyone who had been in the bar with him is gone, except for Levus, who's cleaning up some glasses, and it seems to be darker outside than when Onyx got here.
"Wha I miss?" Onyx mumbles, rubbing his eyes through his mask.
"The tour is over, we had so much fun." Terrent says, and Li'l G. hops up and down in agreement. "We were about to leave, and then we remembered that you never came back, so we came to check on you."
"OH! Oh yeah, guys, you won't believe this…I found 'im!" Onyx says, pointing at the vase from earlier.
"Onyx, you're drunk, that's a regular flower." Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery says bluntly. "Let's go. He must not be in this park."
The group starts walking out of the park, passing by plenty of other people on the way out.
"Hey, Terrent, who's that guy that's been hangin' out with you?" Onyx says, pointing at a hulking figure who's been walking a few paces behind them. The group stops to turn around, and sees the massive figure of Zindle staring them down. Zindle walks right up to Terrent, and puts a clawed hand down on his shoulder. Before Terrent can say anything, a ghastly shriek escapes from him, as his entire essence is absorbed into Zindle, sending out an immense shockwave of radiating power, while the others stare on in shock. Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery fumbles with his jacket for a few moments, before bringing out his fabled weapon: the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery. As he points the weapon at Zindle, he starts to squeeze the trigger, but Onyx rushes over and swats his arm away.
"DUDE! Not here, ya can't do that." Onyx says, panting for breath.
"I'm sorry, Onyx, but this is a most dire situation. You saw what he just did." Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery responds coldly, trying to fight against Onyx's grip on his arms.
"Nuh uh! There's only one Touristic Realm, ya know! I ain't boutta let you destroy it jus' cause some ruffian's causin' trouble! Lemme handle this!" Onyx demands. Li'l G. jumps frantically back and forth, trying to think of how to calm these two down while they squabble. Zindle smirks and starts walking towards the group, his footsteps cracking the ground beneath his feet. Just as he reaches out to touch Onyx, Onyx suddenly vanishes from in front of him, and in his place is Shugi, who bends over backwards to narrowly dodge Zindle's grasp.
"QUANTUM SWOOCE!" Shugi declares, holding a glowing science wand in his hand. "Like, that dude is our friend! We talked for ten whole seconds! Now, ZOINKS CANNON!"
Shugi points his wand forwards, expelling a blast of energy from its tip that sends Zindle stumbling backwards.
"Come on, guys! TEAM ATTACK!" Skeletone screeches, jumping onto Zindle's back and stabbing him over and over with a dagger. While Zindle tries to shake off Skeletone, a whip crack can be heard, and Zindle suddenly finds his arms restrained by a whip held by Bullseye Woody.
"I'm gon fuck yo shit up!" Bullseye declares, tightening the whip around Zindle, whose immense strength for some reason can't seem to break him free. Melvin runs towards Zindle with a pole in his hand, and when he taps in on the ground, it begins extending, revealing it to be a Power Pole. The Power Pole begins rapidly elongating towards Zindle, hitting him under the chin with a colossal impact. Skeletone and Bullseye back off from Zindle, who grunts as the pole keeps getting longer, pushing him further and further away, until he's jettisoned all the way out of the Touristic Realm. Melvin taps the pole again, and it just as quickly retracts, creating a sonic boom throughout the entire park, which is enough to distract Onyx and Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery from their argument.
"Wait, where'd 'e go?" Onyx says, confused.
"It would appear as though our problem has solved itself." says Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery, stowing away the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery.
"Terramorphous? Did you deal with 'im? No? G., then? Well, it wasn't me, and it ain't them, so that leaves just you, Bart." Onyx says, and Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery stares blankly past Onyx, not even acknowledging him.
"Oi! Bart, I'm talkin' to ya! Er, sorry. Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery." Onyx corrects himself, stumbling over his words several times before getting it right.
"Like I said, I didn't do anything." Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery says. Li'l G. jumps to get the attention of the others, and then tilts towards Melvin, indicating that it was him and his buddies who dealt with Zindle.
"Ah, mystery solved. Well, sucks that 'e like, ate Terrent. Let's head out, I don't feel like hangin' around any longer." Onyx says. The group starts to leave, but just before they reach the gates, Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery speaks up again.
"Hey, let's go to the gift shop before we leave." he says, and the others seem to agree with his sentiment, changing their route to walk into a store near the exit. "I hear they keep real special knickknacks in the back. Pricey ones, too, but it's on me."
The group walks into the store's back room, where a second shop is set up.
"Hello, valued customers!" the mustachioed shopkeeper declares. "How may I help you this evening?"
The group looks around at the shop's wares, and find that, oddly enough, there seem to be a series of figures and other merchandise based on the Ones Above All, a group which, of course, includes them in it. Onyx grabs an action figure of Terrent and shakes his head.
"Too soon, man." Onyx laments, while Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery furrows his brow.
"Wait just a minute." Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery says, before reaching forwards and ripping off the shopkeeper's mustache, revealing him to be Citrun.
"YOWCH!" Citrun yelps. "THAT WAS A REAL MUSTACHE!"
"Do you have any idea how much trouble we didn't go through to find you?" Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery scolds. "We spent all day having fun at the most popular amusement park in the Quad, and it's all your fault. What are you doing here, and not at your post as the One in charge of Duality 2?"
"Well, I was on vacation here, but it was too much of a strain, so I decided to take a vacation from vacationing and get a job selling stuff here." Citrun explains. "I thought about going back, but I saw that they got this little hedgehog guy covering my job, so I assumed they didn't need me anymore."
"Yo." says Zesst, hopping up from behind Citrun's counter.
"Oh good heavens." Bartholomew Richards Von Thomcharleston XVI, heir to the Shoshanna-Carter Beckett, Esquire fortune, fabled wielder of the Winchester, the legendary lever action rifle of badassery groans. "So you're telling me there's nobody watching over the second Duality right now?"
"Yeah, that's right." Zesst says.
"Citrun, go home and do your job. You're out of vacation days."
A look of dramatic shock crosses Citrun's face.
"OH SHIZZLE!" Citrun exclaims, bolting to his feet and cramming his things into a suitcase. "I GOTTA GO, NOW!"
Citrun puts his hat on and rushes out of the door.
"So. You guys like weed?" Zesst says, breaking the silence.
"Hell yeah dude. Let's go light it up." Onyx responds, hoisting up Zesst and bringing him with him as the group heads back to their pod to leave the Realm.