II - Looking Back

The RV moved in the road, leaving the outskirts of Boston. Lynn was sharpening her arrows along with Vonda. Vonda tapped on Lynn's shoulders and pointed out of the back of the RV window at a sign. The sign said, 'Entering Lynn'.

"More like 'Leaving Lynn'," said Lynn.

Both girls softly chuckled, and that was the most laughter that anyone in the group made for the day.

Becky and D held each other's hand while napping, while Dana nervously tapped on the window of the RV. She didn't want to admit it, but after the incident yesterday, she was terrified of one of her closest friends, Lori. Dana thought she had lost her humanity the day they wiped out the Piranhas in Hudson, but she thought wrong.

Lisa tapped on Clyde's shoulder, waking him up. Clyde rubbed his eyes and put his glasses back on his face.

"What is it, Lisa?" yawned Clyde.

"I've been pondering about this for quite some time," said Lisa. "Do you wish me to construct a prosthetic leg for you? It would be more convenient for you and crucial for your survival in this world. But I get it if you don't want me to."

"Lisa, yes you could. You should. These crutches bother me and I feel like a burden to everyone in the group."

"Okay, Clyde. I won't fail you this time."

"Lisa, you have never failed me. You saved my life. Don't beat yourself up for something greater that you couldn't achieve. Some things aren't within your control."

"I understand, Clyde. Thank you."

Lisa went back to her seat and reached into her backpack. She took out a notepad and a pen, and began to sketch in it. Lana chewed on a beef jerky while watching what Lisa was drawing. She scratched her head and squinted at the designs, units, and numbers in the notepad. What she understood was the image that Lisa put on the sheet of paper. It was an image of a mechanical leg. It wasn't just a prosthetic leg. Lisa was going for something greater, for something that she could achieve.

"Isn't this the most satisfactory design your eyes have ever laid on?" gasped Lisa.

"Yeah… what is that?" asked Lana. "I thought you were going to make a plastic leg or something."

"This is going to be unlike anything you ever found in a dumpster. This will be a top notch bionic leg. Want to help me build it?"

Lana nodded her head. She tore off another piece of beef jerky with her teeth and looked down at Lisa's backpack. There were tons of notebook, but one stood out. It was titled by Lisa, 'How To Construct a Society'. The RV bumped on a small rock in the road, causing the notebooks to jump and shuffle. For a split second, Lana saw mostly empty pages in the notebook, leading her to sigh in defeat.

David looked ahead in the road, with small bandages in his face, while thinking about striking a conversation with Richard. He did, and Richard knew what David wanted to talk about.

"Bret and his group… they mentioned something about you shooting Jake while he was lying helpless in a ditch," said David. "There was a hole in his chest, but not one in his back."

Richard remained silent while looking out the windshield. David continued talking.

"You've been behaving sorta strange these past few weeks. Is there something you're not coughing up? Something's wrong and I can tell. It's all this tension that you're giving off in the air."

Richard looked down at his map. He blinked once before letting his eyes wander to his side of the window.

"I can understand that what happened back in New York was hectic–"

"I killed that young man. Son of a bitch was only two years older than Bobby. He was just lying in a ditch with a broken wrist, begging me for mercy. I thought that by shooting him, I was going to save our group, but I didn't think about the consequences…. I can't shake the image of the campfire outta my head."

"I see now," said David. "It ain't your fault, man. Shit happens that we can't control. That's just how life works."

The RV, Vanzilla, and the other van continued moving in the road, passing by the roamers in the side of the road.

Another day passed when the three vehicles left Massachusetts, leaving the terrible incident that happened the day before yesterday in that state. Lori sat behind George, who was driving her father's van, shivering unless she was by Bobby's side.

Lynn sat in the back of the RV again, next to Vonda, thinking about the fate of all the survivors in the group. She was hit with the realization that, maybe, just maybe, she wasn't bad luck after all.

"I'm stupid, right?" asked Lynn. "I thought that by staying away from the people closest to me, they would be safer. The truth is… we would be safer if we all stick together."

"Yeah, that's true," said Vonda. "I feel safe with you guys."

Lynn smiled. Vonda opened her arms and hugged Lynn.

"So, does this mean you're not going to avoid your family?" asked Vonda.

"Yeah. Anyone in this group could die tomorrow or the next day. I need to be with my family for as long as possible."

The RV, Vanzilla, and the other van stopped on a lakeside in New Hampshire by a nearby forest, with the passengers wondering what the day had in store for them.

David and Richard entered the cottage by the lake and found fishing gear and equipment. Lori and Luan nodded at each other, knowing that they could fish for food.

"There's a small paddle boat over there," said Benny, pointing at a small boardwalk a few meters away.

"Then, it's settled," said David. "We're going to fish."

Luna walked inside the RV with a wooden splint in her left leg, using Lori's old makeshift cane to get around. She looked for painkillers as Sam held her right hand. Carol assisted Luna in looking for painkillers, by searching in the cabinet above the sofa.

"Here you go. I would recommend taking small doses so you don't become dependent on these," said Carol, holding a bottle of oxycodone.

"Thanks, dude. How much is a small dose?" asked Luna.

"Just one tablet should do for now. If it gets worse, tell me."

Luna and Sam left the RV, while Carol remained inside. She lied in the sofa and sighed, pressing her hands against her face. She stood up and placed the bottle of oxycodone back into the cabinet. However, she hesitated to close the cabinet. She looked around and bit her lower lips. She closed the cabinet and her eyes, letting out a sigh.

Lynn headed into the forest with Vonda, both carrying their bow and arrows, when she realized she wanted to bring Lincoln with her.

"Hold up, Von," said Lynn. "Hey, Lincoln! Bring a knife! You're going hunting with us!"

Lincoln grabbed a knife from the small box in the back of the van. He looked at Lori, Luan, David, and Richard on a paddle boat in the lake. Luan and Benny fished, while Lori instructed David how to use a fishing rod. Lincoln shut the back door of the van and dashed into the forest, following Lynn.

"You see that rabbit?" whispered Lynn. "You're going to sneak up to it… and pin it down! Then, you stab it with your knife!"

"Okay…" whispered back Lincoln. "That seems savage, but we do need food."

Lincoln snuck by the bushes near the rabbit. The small critter chewed on a small leaf, but paused to look around, hearing something. It went back to eating the leaf, allowing Lincoln to sneak closer to the rabbit. A branch poked Lincoln in the face and a bush caused Lincoln to trip. He fell on a bunch of twigs in the ground, prickling him. The rabbit stood up and hopped a few feet away from the bushes.

"I can't do it," whispered Lincoln. "It's too cruel. I can't imagine how I would feel like if I was the rabbit."

The rabbit stared at Lincoln. Lynn sighed, then released the arrow in her bow. The arrow struck the rabbit and stuck itself into the dirt.

"You need to learn how to maneuver around the forest better, Linc. It's how you can get better at this."

"That's not fair! You guys have a bow and arrows! I have this small knife!"

"Hand me your knife," said Lynn. "I'll show you how it's done."

Lynn held the small knife and looked around for another rabbit. She jumped from bush to bush, scouting for a rabbit. After a minute, she found a white cottontail rabbit near a tree. Her footsteps moved fast but quiet, and in a matter of a few seconds she was near the rabbit. The rabbit raised its head up, twitching its ears, but then it lowered it again. The rabbit hopped once away from the tree. Lynn popped out from behind the tree and lunged towards the rabbit, grabbing it with her left hand. She then tossed the knife into the ground and placed her right hand on the top of its head. With a quick twist, Lynn snapped the rabbit's neck and tossed it at Lincoln.

Lincoln caught the dead rabbit and shuddered, dropping it to the ground. Lynn picked up the knife and handed it back to Lincoln.

"Like what you saw? Let me train you," said Lynn.

"Can you train me as well?" asked Vonda. "That was… neat."

Lynn nodded and walked deeper into the forest. Vonda jogged after her. Lincoln followed Vonda.

"Lincoln!" exclaimed Vonda. "Don't forget to pick up that rabbit! Can't just leave it there!"

"Yeah, Linc. Don't leave Bun-bun there," said Lynn.

"Lynn! Some things should just remain private!" exclaimed Lincoln.

"Who's Bun-bun?" asked Vonda.

Lincoln picked up the dead rabbit and looked at Vonda.

"Don't ask."

Luan snuggled up on Benny's shoulders while holding the fishing rod still. Lori set a net down in the water and pulled it up. She sighed upon seeing that she caught algae leaves.

The line tugged on Luan's fishing pole, leading her to stand on the paddle boat. Benny smiled as Luan turned the reel back. She quickly launched the hook into the air, and pulled the hook to the top of the line. She pulled out a pumpkinseed from the hook and held it by its head.

"You caught a fish!" gasped Benny.

"Yeah!" gasped Luan back. "What fish is this? Lori?"

"I don't know," said Lori flatly. "We should get going. There isn't a lot of fish here."

Luan looked at Benny and frowned. She sat down in her seat and lied her head back on Benny's shoulders. David grabbed the paddles and began to paddle them back into the cottage.

Carol bit her fingers and scratched her head. She rubbed her palms together and looked at the cabinet once again.

"Alright, just a little won't hurt."

She opened the cabinet and took out the bottle of oxycodone. The bottle opened and she placed a few pills into her palm. She swallowed them and closed the bottle.

The RV door opened and the light switch flicked. Richard looked at Carol and opened his mouth.

"No!" stuttered Carol. "No, no, no, this isn't what it looks like! Well, it kinda is, but hear me out!"

Richard cleared his throat and allowed Carol to explain herself.

"You see, I'm hurt! I have this huge headache that won't go away! Oh my god, these work! I don't feel… the headache."

"You cured your headache with… that?" asked Richard. "What happened to the aspirin?"

"The what?"

Richard walked to the cabinet and shuffled through it. He took out a bottle of aspirin and swiped away the bottle that Carol held.

"Oxycodone? Carol… I thought you were done with this."

Carol looked down in shame. Richard walked back to the RV door and closed it. Carol prepared herself for the yell of her lifetime. But Richard kept his voice low.

"Carol, what happened? Tell me this is your first time relapsing."

Carol nodded and kept looking at Richard's boots.

"What happened? Carol, look me in the eyes."

She raised her head and frowned. But her eyes locked onto Richard's.

"I just want you to know that you can tell me anything. Whenever something's wrong, you can always come to me. Is that clear?"

"Yeah," said Carol as she started to lower her head again.

Richard placed his hands on Carol's chin.

"Look at me. I care about you. I'm sorry if it looks like I don't give a damn about anybody, but I do."

Carol was speechless. Richard placed the bottle back into the cabinet.

"I care about you too, Richard. I really do. I thought– you really care about what I have in my mind?"

Richard nodded.

"It's about what happened the day before yesterday. I never seen something like that before. I never knew people could be that cruel. And I never knew that one of my closest friends could be… so broken… and turn so savage!"

Carol wrapped her arms around Richard and let out a deep breath.

"It's not easy seeing something like that. The images…"

"I get it," said Richard. "A buddy of mine joined the Army a while back, though he didn't seem like the tough kinda guy. It surprised me, but as soon as I saw how he did in boot camp…"

He chuckled.

"...damn, he was ready. This was the little guy I knew back in high school? Nah, something happened. He pumped some iron in the gym, or whatever he did. We made it through training together. We got our gear and everything, and I thought he was going to outlive me. But it didn't matter what I thought. It didn't matter."

Carol looked at the sofa as she kept her head on Richard's chest. Richard continued talking as he stared ahead.

"In the deserts of Iraq, I watched my buddy get torn in half, his legs missing and everything. Blood squirted into the sand and flesh hung everywhere around him. He triggered an IED. And just to think about it, it could've been me… just a couple steps ahead of the others… and I would've been done for. But because I lived, I had to protect myself and his lifeless corpse from the son of bitches that were responsible for him. Even now, the image is crystal clear."

"What'd you do about it?" said Carol softly.

"I continued fighting. My devotion for this country wasn't going to die when my buddy died. It gets less ugly over time."

Richard walked back, leading Carol to release her arms on him. He placed his finger under Carol's chin.

"Don't dig yourself into a deeper hole."

Richard grabbed his map and walked out of the RV, turning off the lights. Carol stood in the dim RV, with the curtains closed, but a shed of light peered through the windows. She softly touched her chin and saw her smile lift itself.

Sergei hummed as he fixed the mirrors in the van. He looked out the windshield and saw Lynn, Vonda, and Lincoln come out of the forest with a couple squirrels, rabbits, and possums in their hands. He then looked at Benny carrying a bucket to the cooler in the middle of the lakeside, where he dropped the fish they caught. Lori, David, and Richard inspected the map and tried to choose what road would be favorable to them.

Distracted by all these activities, Sergei was unaware of how close Carol was until she opened the passenger door. His breath stopped for a second, recovering as soon as he noticed Carol's blonde hair.

"We're about to go, right?" asked Carol.

"Go where? Oh, you mean back in the road. Yeah."

Sergei looked at Carol.

"You seem a little… eh, what's the word for it? Content."

"I had some helpful advice," said Carol. "You know, I didn't think it was possible for me to get over Bobby, but… here I am, moving on from him."

"Didn't you like the kid for about a year or so? What changed?"

Carol lifted her shoulders and smiled.

"You're acting a little odd. Are you on drugs again?"

Carol's smile faded away.

"Painkillers."

Sergei sighed.

"No!" exclaimed Carol. "It's not what you– I'm not relapsing! I'm not abusing drugs!"

"How would I know you're not lying to me?"

"You could go inside the RV and check the cabinet. All the drugs are in there, with no pills missing other than the ones I took and the ones I gave to Luna."

"Whatever. Fine, I believe you."

"I was hurting a lot! You would be too if you saw a four-year-old girl burn in flames and one of your best friends kill someone savagely!"

"Sorry, I had no idea," apologized Sergei.

"It's alright. Richard helped me through it. But… do you think it's wrong to feel an attraction towards an older man?"

"Just because he's nice to you, doesn't mean he's into you. His wife just died a month ago! Look, I ain't saying it's wrong, but you gotta think about why you feel this way towards him. I don't want you falling for people who might not feel the same way. Just like Bobby."

David and Richard signaled Sergei to start his car. All the survivors walked back to their respective vehicles, with the exception of Luna and Sam, since Luna has to recover in the RV while Sam stayed with her. Carol looked at Richard, bit her lips, and frowned.

"You're right. It's just the painkillers making me feel a little… lovey-dovey. Let's just forget about this."

"Can do," said Sergei, as he started the van.

The roamers walked out of the quiet city where the group headed. The roamers lifted their arms and growled at the vehicles passing by, following them back into the city. The sun remained in the sky, though it's descent warned of the somber night that lied ahead in a couple hours.