Collegiate Calendar appears in the retro world, followed shortly after by Skeletal Mayro. Also residing in this world is a pitiful fool known as Epic Failure, who's been trapped here for decades due to never being able to beat the boss and get out. Collegiate Calendar runs right past Epic Failure, interacting with the boss door to open it up. The retro god VHS manifests in the room, and a text box appears with its introductory dialogue.
Hahahaha! Another foolish mortal comes here to challenge the almighty god of all things retro! You modern-day pansies have no idea how tough things were back in the day, you couldn't possibly last one minute in the same room as me!
Skeletal Mayro hops into the room behind Collegiate Calendar, and tries to jump on the boss, but since it isn't in a vulnerable phase, he takes damage and shrinks down. Mayro looks around for anything to use as a power up, and spots the fork that Calendar has in hand. Mayro swiftly grabs the utensil and eats it, allowing for him to accumulate enough carbon atoms to become Supermaterial Mayron. VHS swoops down in a diving attack that unfairly covers almost the entire screen and requires near pixel perfect movement to dodge, resulting in Calendar, Epic Failure, and Mayron all being one-shot-killed and sent back to the previous room. Collegiate Calendar realizes just the way to counter this foe, so he inputs the 99 lives code, granting the trio of challengers a sizeable enough margin of error to let them brute force their way through the boss fight. Upon returning to the room and sitting through the unskippable intro cutscene, Calendar, Epic Failure, and Mayron all start rushing directly at VHS, using their invincibility frames to dodge through its hitbox and hit it even when it's not supposed to be vulnerable. Once VHS takes enough hits, it falls to the ground, and Calendar picks up the god in its inventory so that it can cook it up and eat it later. Doing this triggers a self-destruct sequence for the retro world, with a big flashing timer appearing overhead. The trio makes a daring escape, but Epic Failure trips over nothing on the way out, living up to their name in their final moments as the world collapses around them.
Collegiate Calendar and Supermaterial Mayron both successfully escape, returning to the room where the AA meeting happened, which is now a taped-off crime scene investigating Vespot's dead body. Collegiate Calendar hops right over the police tape and walks away, satisfied with its haul. Mayron starts to head out, too, but finds his path blocked by Bony Express.
"Hello, 'Mayro'. Not looking very skeletal today, are you?" Bony Express says with a scowl.
"It's-a not what it looks-a like!" Mayron pleads, putting his hands up and shaking his head. "Please, just let me go, my boss can't-a find out about this!"
"Nice try, but that's not gonna cut it. You gotta either get back to your skeletal form, or we're gonna evict you from the leaderboard. And you know what that means." Bony threatens Mayron, who tries to jump into some pointy objects to get rid of the powerup, only to find that his carbon skin is too strong for the spikes to pierce. Before Bony can apprehend Mayron, though, a tremendous figure with a menacing evil aura steps into the room, towering over Bony, breathing heavily. Mayron looks up at the figure and lets out a scream of terror, which is cut off as the figure blasts him through the head, before grabbing his body and dragging it away. Bony Express, having seen Mayron get dealt with firsthand, speeds away, disappearing just as quickly as he showed up.
The doors to the President's office are suddenly thrust open, as a frantic feline figure rushes in, holding an envelope in hand.
"MR. PRESIDENT, MR. PRESIDENT! SCARY-ASS LETTER JUST BLEW IN OUR WINDOW!"
"Let me have a look at it." The President holds out his hand, and the Vice President hands it over. The President looks down at the envelope, and is shocked to see the unmistakable visage of the Realm's ruler, Obama, staring back at him. The moment the President meets eyes with the envelope, it dissipates away like a film of slime falling off, exposing the letter underneath, printed on red paper.
"Heartlance, your incompetence and inability to follow the guidelines listed with your ownership of Radica RR 234 have forced my hand. I will be conducting an audit of the planet and reclaiming it as my own once I have ensured that everything is to my liking. You will be disposed of accordingly." the President reads the letter out loud, and then crumples it up. "Tell the Cabinet to prepare for battle. Begin tracing the source of this letter immediately, we need to take action before it's too late."
From a view of space, a fleet of numerous Obama-crafted items are converging on Radica RR 234, indicating the impending arrival of Obama himself.
Meanwhile, the Alliterative Allies are hanging out in a treehouse they rented, taking turns playing with a paddle ball. Between the formation of the Allies and them choosing this treehouse as their base of operations, Feldritch Fenix made himself a member of their ranks.
"So, we got any plans?" Red-Ant Revolver asks, looking over to Milo.
"Uh…I signed us up to go bowling tomorrow, the alley was completely booked for a few days, but I managed to get us a spot." Milo responds with a shrug.
"Alright, but what about right now? I want some action."
"We could always cook up some ramen!" Fenix suggests.
"I second that. Ramen bathed in the blood of the gods!" Calcium Chris declares. "Look, I got a special prize in my beer bottle!"
Calcium Chris holds up the Godfinder Bracelet, which claims to be able to detect gods and god-like lifeforms in up to a 30 mile radius while powered by two AA batteries. The rest of the Allies seem to agree with this plan, and allow for Chris to lead the way, following the information the bracelet gives him. After walking through the middle of nowhere for quite some time, the group finds themselves at an abandoned lot, where a large creature known as Slatturn is hanging around. Slatturn looks over the group, unimpressed by their ranks.
"Wait, are we sure this is a god? It doesn't really look the part." Calcium Chris comments, staring at the bracelet in confusion.
"You call this a party? I'm pretty sure I've seen kindergarteners that look more intimidating." Slatturn snickers.
"Hi pretty sure I've seen kindergarteners that look more intimidating, I'm Dad!" says Dad. Slatturn sensually licks Dad, and Fenix quickly snaps a photo and starts uploading it online. Revolver takes out his Revolving Revolver and aims towards Slatturn's head, but Slatturn does a 360 and sweeps Revolver off of his feet with one of its tails.
"Hey, why don't you try to sneak behind it?" Calcium Chris whispers to Fenix, and Fenix nods. Fenix tries to slink past Slatturn, but Slatturn grabs him by the godal and hurls him back to the fight area with the rest of the Allies.
"Wait, where's Stronk Sunday?" Milo says, looking around. "He seems perfect for this!"
"RIGHT HERE! I never left, idiot!" Stronk Sunday screeches from the ground. "Watch, I'll handle this!"
Stronk Sunday grabs hold of Blue Blumbo and chucks him straight at Slatturn. Slatturn tries to bite Blue Blumbo, but Blumbo's rubbery skin is too tough to pierce, so all Slatturn ends up doing is getting blue juice in its body, which makes it turn blue. The Stretchy Inspector, who happened to be in the area, sees this, and, since he hates all things blue, he immediately runs up to Slatturn. Stretchy Inspector sets his stretching mechanism's strength to max and pulls on Slatturn, but Slatturn's high elasticity lets it be stretched with no ill effect. Seeing this seems to be enough to convince the Allies that this is definitely a god-like creature, and Fenix pulls out a large fork, which he sticks into the ground and starts listening to.
"What the hell are you doing?" Chris asks Fenix.
"Shhh! I'm listening out for vibrations. It will let me predict that thing's next move." Fenix says.
"Hi listening out for vibrations, I'm Dad!" says Dad.
Slatturn stomps on the Stretchy Inspector, and then rolls him up into a ball and tosses him aside. Red-Ant Revolver recovers from being knocked down, and shoots Slatturn right between the eyes, causing the beast to reel back for a few seconds. To the Allies' surprise, though, Slatturn stays standing, and glares at them all.
"You fool, you absolute buffoon. You think you can challenge me in my own realm? You think you can rebel against my authority? You dare come into my house and upturn my dining chairs and spill coffee grounds in my Keurig? You thought you were safe in your chain mail armor behind that screen of yours. I will take these laminate wood floor boards and destroy you. I didn't want a war, but I didn't start it." Slatturn says, spouting complete nonsense.
"Oh shit, I think I hear a volcano about to erupt!" Fenix gasps, but before he can listen further, the Stretchy Inspector's squashed body bounces by, knocking the fork out of the ground and directly into Slatturn's face. The fork lodges itself into Slatturn, causing the beast to enter a blind frenzy, flailing about every which way. Calcium Chris quickly takes a mostly empty beer bottle and gathers as much blood as he can without getting blown away by Slatturn's wildly swinging limbs.
"We gotta get out of here, guys! Let's go!" Chris says, bolting away from Slatturn. The rest of the Allies follow suit, and Slatturn starts chasing them, but just as Slatturn passes over the spot where Fenix's fork was in the ground, a condensed pillar of hot lava spews out from that spot, rocketing Slatturn into the air and allowing for the Allies to escape safely. Once they reach their treehouse, the Allies start cooking up some ramen using the blood that they got, all of them eager to feast on their hard-earned delicacy.