Chapter 82: Stance on the Past

As far as Byleth was concerned, it had been going on long enough. Odd as it might have been to be asked about something regarding this in a different situation, there was just something different by not having Sothis making constant comments in the back of her mind regarding everything.

She would never equate the Goddess to having the same sort of presence like that of her father or even Goetia - for whatever presence he could establish, it felt eerily similar to Sothis at times but that might have been because of whatever he was - but that didn't mean that Sothis wasn't somehow…necessary? No, that would have been a poor word for it. Expected would have been a more fitting description of the Goddess in her head.

If something happened, Byleth was now of the expectation that the Goddess would appear and make some manner of comment in the back of her mind regarding what had just taken place and would then offer her own opinion over what would be the best course of action to take. The lack of that secondary opinion at the moment - she was somewhat reliant on it at times for the emotional stance - was becoming more noticeable, if only because of how often she had called upon it without realising.

Things that she failed to properly understand and didn't wish to ask aloud, Sothis would provide her the answer so that she could 'save face' as it were. Even in her current state, the Goddess was still helpful to her in ways that stretched beyond the magical abilities she provided.

Which was why her silence these past few days had been nothing shy of obnoxious. Byleth had gone her entire life without having any other voice in her mind aside from her own and Sothis had been present for but a few months but was now something that Byleth was more concerned about vacating than actually remaining. She was privately curious when the point was crossed where she was more dependent on Sothis actually being in her mind than not, but at the moment it didn't matter too much to her.

What did matter was that Sothis had been there to provide an opinion on her emotional state and listened to her at other times. It seemed that repaying this debt by offering a similar service would be appropriate. She very much doubted that if the roles had been reversed, the Goddess would have left her alone for too long a period of time without trying to get her to say something or to open up.

…Besides, it was always Sothis that was providing the advice, so perhaps this was merely a chance to actually be a proper figure for once. She'd learned how to listen and be proactive by teaching the students, ironically she felt as though she was learning something at times as well, so this could be a chance to finally put those long hours into practice where she could actually make use of all that experience.

With that in mind, she retreated to her room once the day was over, forgoing getting food for the time being in favour of dealing with this directly. Really, there was only so much she could take and this was well past the limit. Besides, she had gone without food for extended periods of time before and she could do so again rather easily, there was nothing to be worried about on either end of it.

Moving across her room, she placed herself down in her chair and then turned towards the expanse of her small living space. Staring out across the interior with a bland look as she swept over the detail, virtually unchanged, before finding a suitable spot and focusing her attention solely onto that.

Now came the waiting.

…

…

…

…

…

This was taking too long.

'Sothis.' Directing her thoughts had become a lot easier over time, to the point where she could now do so at different volumes or as close to as she would have imagined herself being capable of. Therefore, while not quite a shout, she had projected her voice rather loudly through her head with - hopefully - enough power behind it to summon the Goddess from the back of her mind and to the forefront of it.

She felt something in the far recess of her mind, like something tingling on the surface of her mind, trying to recollect something but failing. She frowned when she felt the presence retreat and the sensation vanished just as quickly as it had emerged. It would seem that Sothis was playing rather hard to get at the moment, doing the equivalent of sticking her head out from beneath the covers to see who bothered her before retreating.

Tough luck, Byleth wasn't going to give up quite so easily. There was plenty that she wanted to talk about and Sothis had been silent for days, if she had something to say, then it would be better to get it off her non-existent chest. Closing her eyes, she leaned back into her chair and focused once more. 'Sothis, I know you heard me.'

A flicker from the Goddess, Byleth felt a small wave of irritation not of her own pass through her for a brief moment before it faded away, though the message could not have been clearer. Still, Sothis always complained at her for being a simple one so she would need to spell it out for her with her words rather than with intentions.

Not even a second after she thought as such, the irritation returned just as swiftly and at a much greater intensity, though it lasted about as long before it retreated back to the mind once more and she felt herself calm down. Evidently Sothis was still putting in enough effort to register her thoughts, even if she wasn't going to go through the effort of appearing to her in the first place.

Perhaps it would serve to make things just as simple for her.

'I have finished my classes for today and have been able to remain awake for upwards of twelve hours.' Byleth declared with absolute seriousness through her mind, Her record was actually close enough to twenty or so hours awake without rest, though that was quite a while ago and she was a little out of practice with staying up for watch for that long. 'Even if you ignore me for today, I still have tomorrow and the next day, and the days beyond those.'

A weight settled in the back of her mind, quite an odd sensation but it felt much the same as though someone had placed a hand on the back of her head and was applying a subtle pressure. Not unpleasant, but just enough to make them aware of their existence. It was rather obvious that Sothis was still providing her with a warning but she had no reason to listen to it. This was just the equivalent of turn about being considered fair play.

The weight became a touch heavier on the back of her mind, yet she did not allow herself to lose even an inch of footing. This was going to happen whether the Goddess wanted for it to or not, after everything that she just talked about with Sylvain earlier, it would be hypocritical if she did not apply the same standards to herself. Especially to herself, given how responsible she was for their lives. It's not as though Sothis had someone else to talk about this with aside from her…

…Unless-

"I refuse to fall before Goetia and explain my feelings to him, even if he were inclined to grant me the time of day to even allow such a conversation to take place." Her eyes opened and she found herself looking across the room…or at least, that is what she had been expecting. Though the place that she actually found herself was the expansive black void backdrop, the voice coming from directly behind her.

Sounding somewhat irritated.

She turned around and glanced up to the throne of polished white stone, Sothis rested upon it with her arms lazily slung over the side, her eyes narrowed and a rather irritable scowl firmly etched upon her features. "And I would ask you not even entertain that notion even as a joke." the Goddess continued onwards, closing her eyes and leaning back into her throne "Goetia made it blatantly obvious the value he truly placed upon the revelations of the conversation, given his rapid departure."

Byleth remembered his rapid departure as well, raising an eyebrow at the Goddess and scanning her features for a moment before she answered. "He said he was disgusted with what happened."

Sothis hummed as she nodded once "He did indeed, whatever else it would appear that we have unearthed that Goetia can experience disgust on a scale similar to my own…yet…" green eyes opened, the Goddess leaned forwards on her throne, bringing her hands onto her lap. "It would seem we are both somewhat…experienced in dealing with disappointment aimed towards our own kin for actions we cannot perceive."

Bringing her hand up, Sothis rubbed her brows and exhaled "It has been a tiring process to account for all that has happened…" she stopped moving, dragging her hand down and regarding Byleth with a half-lidded gaze "Certainly not aided by you bellowing for my attention in the back of your mind after I wished for privacy." curling her lip down into a disapproving smile, she grumbled "You are neither a true child nor am I one of your students to merely summon for a conversation on a whim."

Byleth frowned, opening her mouth to speak-

"Do not even presume to believe there is anything that you can say that could somehow provide some small token of comfort to me." Sothis cut her off before she could even get a single word out, the Goddess narrowed her eyes and slammed her right hand onto the arm of the chair with a dull thud that seemingly echoed around the entire space for a few moments, Byleth's eye swept over the shuddering world before flying back to the Goddess as she continued on. "I am proclaimed the Goddess of a people I know next to nothing about, the head of a Religion I had no hand in creating and am apparently expected to somehow bring peace to a continent I know nothing of!?"

Sothis flew - quite literally - from the throne and into the air "Can you even imagine the sheer scale of that revelation to me?" pressing a hand against her chest, looking close to snarling "I am proclaimed the saviour, the all knowing, the all powerful Goddess of this entire field of what might as well be mud for all the knowledge I hold of it. Somehow I am to grant salvation to all these humans because…I am?"

Her arms lowered to her side "For one thing, I do not even know why I should hold interest in becoming some almighty saviour to all of Fodlan. For another…" trailing off, she closed her eyes, slowly floating back to the throne and perching herself down in it. "...How exactly would I even accomplish such a goal?"

"I don't know-" Byleth shook her head, only for Sothis to latch onto her words instantly.

"That is right. You don't know." The Goddess snapped at her, volume rising once more "I doubt you were supposed to know much of anything, were you? Even if you were, you were supposed to just sit back like the good little human that you were and allow me to save this continent in whatever capacity I could as a Goddess." she snorted "I - who could barely even differentiate between you and an ant for a short period of time - was to somehow save this continent? What salvation could I bring to what I saw as thinking reeds."

Taking a single step forwards, Byleth hardened her expression and locked eyes with Sothis, the Goddess stared down at her for a few moments, features just as solid before the tension flooded out of them. She closed her eyes and lowered her head. "That outburst was…uncalled for."

Byleth didn't say anything, but she didn't need to. Not on that at least. "...Feel better?"

Sothis made a small noise "I would hardly call myself feeling better. Though it is more…freeing to be able to vocalise these thoughts that have buried their way into my head since they were first seeded." her hand came up from the arm of the chair once more, curling into a fist and resting itself beneath her chin, her head angled slightly and placed weight on the limb.

There was a brief moment of silence, then her lip twitched upwards into a faint smile, her eyes closing themselves. "How curious…it feels as though it was lifetimes ago that my greatest concern was discovering why it was that Goetia was capable of seeing me or keeping you out of trouble." her right eye cracked open "Yet it has grown so much now, for one such as myself this seems as though it was such a short span of time…perhaps for you as well. Mere months after we first met one another and we discover how deeply our fates are truly intertwined."

Byleth supposed that was one way of looking at it, nodding her head up and down in ascent as she glanced around the temple they resided in, pacing to the side and keeping her eyes fixed on the infinite void beyond the space she stood upon. "It feels like it has been longer, yes. It's…" she brought up her left hand, staring at her fingers and then clenching them into a fist. "It is strange. I have gone my entire life without knowing anything about my past and never thinking too deeply about it and yet ever since I met you it is…it is strange to consider there was ever a time where it didn't matter."

Turning her head back towards the Goddess, she saw that her eyes were closed once more, her head bobbing up and down ever so slightly. "One thinks about their missing origins and considers that if it were truly so important, they would have been aware of it before. Perhaps it is more pressing for yourself than for I." Sothis waved her left hand towards her "You managed to live nearly twenty years without even knowing the existence of the Church of Seiros, avoiding this place so perfectly that it was a mere chance encounter that led you here…"

"Coincidences are strange."

"Coincidence indeed." Sothis huffed, dropping her right arm back onto the throne and opening her eyes. "I would be more inclined to call it fate that led those children to you. Fate that brought you to this place and fate that sent every little thing our way. Coincidence could account for one or two of them, certainly…but the number of ways in which the stars have aligned so perfectly to keep this story of your life travelling?" she raised an eyebrow, then shook her head. "Any number of things could have happened differently."

A conversation about the origins of fate and destiny was not something Byleth had been expecting but at the same time, perhaps there might be credence to it. How strange that her life had never been thought to matter much in the past and yet in the span of a few months she had gone from being next to nobody to being perhaps one of the most discussed people within an entire religion. Even if only by proxy but at the same time…

A single flicker of amusement passed through her mind before it faded, though it was clearly obvious enough given the fact Sothis snapped her head towards her with marksman-like focus and narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, leaning forwards on her throne and arching a brow. "And what do you find so amusing?"

There was no reason not to tell her "Just that the Goddess of all Fodlan ends up in the head of someone who didn't know she existed in the first place." she shrugged, it was something that had only truly occurred to her at just this moment. A rather strange thought but one that she thought might be a little amusing all the same. "It's quite peculiar, isn't it?"

Sothis furrowed her brows for a brief second, then her lip curled upwards into a barely amused smile, leaning back onto her throne and humming for a moment. "Yes, I suppose that it could be considered somewhat poetic that arguably the most important religious figure in all of Fodlan ends up bonded with one of the least religious humans." her hands drummed along the arm of the throne, frowning once more. "Though that is likely due to your father keeping you as far away from the Church as he possibly could and given recent revelations, I can hardly hold much in the way of blame for that little event."

Byleth shrugged her shoulders "That's just how he is but I didn't get why he avoided major cities…I don't think he ever explained it to anyone." Though with the benefit of hindsight, it all made perfect sense why he avoided all of the major locations and kept them as a roaming band around the countryside. It had been to keep her as far away from the influence of Rhea and the Church as possible…

Yet it was apparently something Rhea allowed to happen in the first place as well?

It was rather confusing for her to wrap her head around, especially since she never really had an opinion on the Church of Seiros before nor had she put much of an effort into developing an opinion on them now either. Having personally met Sothis, she could only assume that something was lost in her personality when she became an amnesiac, considering she wouldn't exactly describe her in quite the same reverence that everyone else seemed to speak of her with.

If Byleth were to call her something…

…It would be an intrusive busy body.

"You-!" Sothis sputtered rather violently on her throne, whirling on Byleth and shoving herself out of the seat and into the air. Expression cycling through a vast array of emotions from shock, then to fury before it finally landed onto something akin to frustration. The Goddess brought her hands towards her face, covering it with her palms and hiding her expression rather well.

A single, somewhat loud, sigh echoed out from the direction of the Goddess as she pulled her hands down the front of her face, staring down at Byleth with an utterly flat expression. Her next words being delivered as toneless as possible. "Sometime I wonder if you genuinely forget I am privy to your thoughts or if you ponder such outrageous things on purpose to draw a reaction from me."

Folding her arms over her chest, Sothis curled her lip in disapproval. "The former just makes you a rather innocent fool, the latter makes you a willful troublemaker." her right hand directed an index finger towards her chest "Something that I would consider to be marginally worse than that of an 'intrusive busy body' as it were."

She waved her hand dismissively, turning her nose up at Byleth. "Besides, if it were not for my advice, I have little doubt that you would have stumbled into numerous dead ends, not to mention that I am gracious enough to bestow some of my divine authority onto you." the lips curled up into a smug grin "You are free to praise my magnanimous nature at any time, considering I am apparently the progenitor God of all Fodlan."

Byleth just stared.

The smug aura projected was as brittle as a rusted sword, the confidence vanished within seconds, the arms of the Goddess falling back to her side and her eyes closing. Grim acceptance flooded across her features, hanging her head low. "Yes, when compared to my earlier words, there could be no hollower a boast to be made…" her eyes opened once more.

She floated back, sitting on the throne once more as she stared down at Byleth, then tilted her head to the side. "What was your intention in calling out to me in this manner?" she inquired with a bored voice and a raised eyebrow.

Byleth would have thought that was obvious, opening her mouth to speak only for Sothis to cut her off.

"What I mean to ask is why you actually exhibit some form of care towards me, especially in light of what my…" Sothis trailed off, a distant look crossing her features. "...My children. I have children." lips parted slightly, her brows climbing up her forehead "I had children and I do not recall a single one of them. I had many children and now most are dead…and I do not even know their names, I cannot even recall creating them."

"...I wanted to ask if you were okay." Byleth answered the earlier question, though now that she spoke it out loud, it seemed as though it was a stupid thing to ask in the first place. There was very little chance that Sothis was alright, in which case the better thing to say was simply "And…if you wanted to talk about it."

Sothis pulled her lips into an empty smile "I would offer praise for realising the foolery of the first question…as for the latter…the sad truth is that there is nothing to talk about." she waved her hands about the expanse. "This fabrication, this mere illusion constructed by my mind…this is the extent of my knowledge of Fodlan. The land that I was apparently Goddess over, the land which housed my children…I know nothing about it."

Closing her eyes, the Goddess fell back onto her throne with a quiet thud. "You ask if there is something to talk about? The problem is that there is nothing for me to discuss. Rhea could hurl all sorts of revelations at my feet and I could answer not a single one of them beyond 'I did not know.' which now leaves me…plagued with more questions than I had and these ones are far more…disturbing."

Byleth supposed she got her answer and it was clearly a poor one, it would appear that Sothis was going through her own troubles and she could empathise with the Goddess on that front. Directing her eyes around the room, she realised that she didn't actually know all that much about Sothis herself. For someone who lived in Byleth's head, she didn't actually know all that much about her.

Even when she discovered that Sothis was the Goddess of Fodlan, she didn't make much of an effort to find out about the Goddess. Which was something of a blunder, with hindsight…or perhaps it was a kindness? Her view of Sothis wasn't biased with religious views or scripture so she supposed she saw Sothis for what she was at the moment. Which was just…a very confused person who didn't know what to do.

…They were in the same position as one another and if Byleth didn't know how to help herself, then she certainly didn't know how to help Sothis.

Seems that her initial plan had failed.

"What do you suppose they were like?" The sudden words of the Goddess brought her back into the present, blinking and noticing the Goddess now staring at her with a curious note to her features. "My children, I mean…Flayn is something of a worrier, I'm certain you've noticed just how much she's been fretting over you." Sothis curled her lips into a rather amused smile for a brief moment. "There is something endearing about her in that regard, she looks so young and seems so innocent and yet…I now wonder if she is merely optimistic despite all that has happened in the past?"

Tilting her head, she continued on "Then there is her father." she exhaled, a frown coming onto her face. "I feel as though Seteth pushes himself much too hard, hearing his name mentioned so frequently in regards to the running of the Monastery, it makes me curious just how reliant it is on him. Yet he feels so very…caring, even if his expression does not show it." she rolled her jaw as she seemingly searched for the right word.

Byleth had one.

"Overprotective."

"Hmmm, yes…yes…" Nodding her head in approval, Sothis waved a hand to her "That would be a fitting description of him. From his first meeting with you to how his daughter speaks…I think he is just constantly expecting the worst and yet he is always prepared for the best."

Her expression scrunched up. "Then there is Rhea…or Seiros." lips flat, she glanced down to her hands. "The one who is responsible for my current predicament, albeit unintentionally. Yet the fact remains that without her, we would not be here to debate this now." she drummed her fingers on the arm of the throne. "...A part of me is disappointed in what she did, perhaps disgusted would be a better word. Yet…another part of me wishes she had not failed."

Byleth raised an eyebrow, then hummed "You want to remember."

"To be plagued with questions such as this is…disturbing." Sothis admitted with a sigh, apprehension moving across her face. "I hear of this Sothis, the desperation that Rhea had to bring her back and I cannot help but wonder…am I truly the Sothis she speaks of?" reaching up, she pressed a hand against her chest "How much of me was lost along with my memories…how different a person would I be if I could recall who I truly was?"

"I think you'd still care."

"...You speak with such certainty and you did not even hesitate." Sothis remarked with a bemused expression, thinning her lips and regarding Byleth with now incredulous expression. "Your words might sound idea, but you cannot say with complete certainty that I would be the same individual."

Byleth shook her head "I didn't say you would be the same. Just that you would probably care." she explained, gesturing to the Goddess "You still showed that you cared about the children without even knowing you were the Goddess of Fodlan. I think you would still care about them even if you knew…it might be a little different to right now, but I think you would still care." lowering the arm, she glanced away. "I cannot say for the rest. Maybe you might have been different but I don't think it's worth worrying about now."

Sothis scrunched her face up "I speak to how radically different an individual I might be, how my own mind might have been altered by my lack of memories…and you say that it doesn't merit concern?" making a visible effort of looking her up and down, Byleth was once again subjected to a look as though she was an idiot. "I would argue much the opposite. If my memories returned at any point, who is to say that my personality would not be radically changed, given all I have gone through as a result?"

There was only a single thing Byleth could say in response to that. "Do you think it would change?"

"I do not know and, once again, that is precisely the problem for me." Sothis growled, throwing her hands up in clear annoyance. "So much time spent stumbling around in the dark, so convinced I was that if I uncovered the truth of my identity, that all my concerns would be laid to rest…" the arms dropped down "Now I find that I have been saddled with more questions than ever before."

Sothis frowned "Does it not worry upon your mind as well? How easily things could have been different?" raising a hand, she pointed to Byleth "Do you not think of what could have occurred if I had not been devoid of my mind. Rhea was clearly of the belief that I could have somehow saved the people of Fodlan and I am not certain where this confidence of hers originates…but it was somehow strong enough to last centuries."

Biting her lip, the Goddess leaned forwards "Do you understand? Rhea believed that I had and still have the power to save all of Fodlan and I do not even know what I am supposed to do now…I cannot ignore this sudden responsibility that now looms over my neck…" Her features flattened, mild disgust flickered through her eyes. "But…I am loath to carry out the plan that had been envisioned for me, for you…for us."

Byleth tilted her head "How would you even help people?"

"I do not know!" Sothis growled irritably, turning her head away sharply "And that is another thing that troubles me-no! It vexes me!" the growl grew louder, hands balling into fists "I…I have the power to aid this world and yet I cannot think of even a single solution for anything. I have not even yet seen something that would warrant my intervention on this planet in the first place!" she exclaimed with disbelief "What is there about these humans that Rhea did not like and thought I would be better served to deal with? Banditry? Thuggery?"

Her eyes narrowed on Byleth "Do these sound like problems that would be worth bringing down divine intervention? That these tasks are somehow worthy of a Goddess to carry out?"

"Not really." Byleth shrugged her shoulders, they barely even sounded like the sort of jobs that the knights of the Church would deal with. Even her group rarely had to deal with bandits, usually having to scare off the odd demonic beast when escorting some merchant company. Sure, they did deal with bandits on occasion but it was hardly as though the countryside was filled with them. Local militia could usually handle the bandits so really…Byleth didn't see why Sothis needed to be around either.

Then again, she hadn't lived as long as Rhea but at the same time, she didn't think she would need to in order to see how pointless it was to bring Sothis back here. Though, she supposed the presence of the Goddess had helped on a number of occasions but those were personally related to her.

Well…that incident with Sitri might have counted as well now that she thought about it.

Sothis rolled her eyes "Given that these Demon Gods did not even originate on Fodlan in the first place and both Goetia and the other Sitri were the only instances in all of Fodlan's history, I very much doubt Rhea envisioned anything such as them…" her expression turned thoughtful.

"I am…reminded of Goetia's plan for the underground city. He spoke of taking control of it…perhaps that was what Rhea intended for me to do…somehow use my extensive knowledge to make Fodlan a better place and yet…" She gestured to herself "I have none of that knowledge. So I cannot do anything of the sort."

Byleth frowned, that was true enough she supposed. Then again… "You still help."

"Yes…a class of eight human children." Sothis responded in a flat tone of voice, waving a hand in Byleth's direction once more with a dismissive frown. "And it is not truly I that does anything. You are the one who helps them, aids in developing their minds and trains them to remain safe. My own contributions amount to little more than background commentary and time reversal…which you yourself control."

"You fought Sitri-"

"Yes…" Sothis exhaled, waving her hand rather tiredly "I did fight the Demon God, with the aid of two others and it cannot be denied that Goetia was the one who was doing most of the battling during that fight…I would be more inclined to say that my being there was a liability rather than a boon."

Silence descended upon them once more, Byleth glanced down once more. This hadn't quite turned out how she had been expecting but she was, at the very least, pleased with the fact that Sothis was actually speaking once more. The Goddess let out a long sigh, drawing Byleth's attention back to her as the Goddess leaned back, fixing Byleth with an odd look.

After what would have likely crossed into the realms of awkward, Sothis eventually spoke. "I appear to have done you a discourtesy." she waved herself down "I have been sitting here, ranting to the skies about my own worries and problems while I have been completely neglecting your own." before Byleth even had a moment to speak up, the Goddess leaned forwards "And do not think to claim that you are not troubled. I can feel the disquiet of your mind just as clearly as if it were my own."

Sothis tilted her head to the side "Considering you were the one who summoned me to listen to my own woes, I would call it perfectly fair that I lend my own ear to yours." her lips pulled themselves into a thin line. "Though given what you have suffered at the hands of my…family. I would understand if you did not wish-"

"Why does everyone think I'm suffering?" Byleth asked before she could help it, blurting the words out with her brows pinched together. Sothis blinked at her in surprise, though did not make to speak. Byleth was fine with that, because it gave her the chance to continue on with her own words. Pointing to herself, she spoke further. "I don't understand everything but it just sounds like I was dead at birth and Rhea saved my life."

The Goddess visibly cringed "That is an oversimplified account. She did not save your life as much as she ensured your body was alive-"

"I'm still alive." Byleth pointed out, shrugging her shoulders "She hasn't tried to take the heart back. Then people talk about how much my mother suffered or something like that and I wonder why I'm supposed to care." bringing up the flat of her hand, she stopped the Goddess before she could speak. "I know she's the woman who gave birth to me but that's it…I didn't even know her name until recently. Jeralt never spoke of her and all I knew for most of my life was that she was a woman who died."

Tilting her head, she frowned "She meant a lot to my father but…she meant nothing to me. Maybe I should care for her more, given that she sacrificed her life for me but…the only reason I even care is because it's affecting my father."

That was it. Sitri was a woman who gave birth to her and that was all, there had never been a connection between them beyond a physical link. There was no emotional weight, not like with Jeralt. So everyone assuming that she was somehow suffering from these revelations just…assumed she cared for the woman she never met and never heard anything about. Like being told she should suddenly lose control when hearing stories of a complete stranger.

She only cared because Jeralt cared and Rhea had done something that hurt him, but that was the reason. Rhea was the very reason that Byleth was still alive so she could dislike the Archbishop for causing grief to her father but there wasn't anything that Rhea had personally done to her that could be considered bad.

"Maybe Rhea's intentions were bad or different from the norm but…It didn't happen." Byleth pointed out with a shrug "Sitri would have died anyway and if Rhea hadn't created her, then Jeralt wouldn't have fallen in love and had me. So…I'm upset that Jeralt is affected by all of this but I'm just…not." she looked down to the floor, lips pulling down into a visible frown. The most emotion she had shown in a long while. Or ever.

"Everyone cares more about my own mother than me but…she's a stranger." Byleth looked back up towards Sothis, the expression of the Goddess was complicated at best. "Rhea said it was Sitri's choice to give her heart to me so…whatever her intentions were, it was still Sitri's choice to start all this in the first place."

Sothis rolled her jaw "...You're only keeping your distance from the Archbishop because it is what Jeralt expects of you." the accusation was met with a nod of the head. Sothis closed her eyes, reached up and rubbed her brows. "Because if you were to reveal all this to him, he would likely be thrown into a greater state of depression, the belief that his daughter had been turned against him…It would seem we are both troubled by the expectations of our families as of late."

Byleth shrugged "I just didn't want to leave. I…enjoy my time here. I know that Jeralt wanted to go but I didn't." she brought her right hand up, placing the flat of her palm against her chest just above her heart. Feeling the pounding of the silence more than ever before. "I don't personally care for Rhea one way or the other because…she seems distant. Confused. Lonely. Desperate like…"

Like Goetia was when he woke up from his coma.

Now that she thought about it, those two did seem somewhat similar. At least in regards to always knowing more than they let on. Also neither of them were human, though attaching the title of God to Goetia seemed more than a little peculiar…though he did act at least more mature than Sothis. But then there was the Demon part tacked onto the front.

But it was neither about Goetia or Rhea.

It was about her.

"...Was it the right thing to do, finding all our answers?" She looked up from her chest towards Sothis. She wanted to know because right now, it didn't seem as though it was worth it. After all they went through and all they had questioned to get the answers they wanted, it seemed as though rather than making things better, they had just gotten worse.

Sothis hummed "...The truth always holds more weight than a compelling lie." even to Byleth the words sounded somewhat hollow. "No matter how unpleasant it might be. In spite of everything, I am…at least content to know the answers rather than remain blind to them but…you are not me. Therefore…do you think it is a mistake?"

She didn't know. "...I miss how simple everything used to be."

The Goddess twitched her lip in a sardonic smile. "Yes…there is a comfort in simplicity, is there not?" she furrowed her brows "What was it Goetia said 'You were the one who sought answers. Did you expect them to be anything less than horrifying?' which sounds as though…" her expression hardened. "...Which sounds as though he was already aware of this outcome before we did."

Raising a single eyebrow at the Goddess, Byleth barely even needed to speak in order to get across her incredulity regarding the statement. While she was certain Goetia was aware of many things, she very much doubted that he was aware of the specifics regarding her childbirth and all that it encompassed. "That seems very…unlikely."

Sothis, however, did not look deterred in the least, as she brought up a single finger and looked at Byleth. "Let us examine what we have already determined about Goetia. He has known, likely for quite some time, about my nature as the Goddess of all Fodlan and whatever clever wording he might use, he already deduced without even hearing my name spoken aloud, that I was the central figure in this continent's religion." another finger "He was aware that Rhea, Seteth and Flayn were not human and I would not be surprised if he knew they were…whatever they were."

Opening her mouth to reply, she paused and slowly furrowed her brows. She supposed that there was that, but she was fairly certain that Goetia gave reasons for such things at the time. Though that was mainly placed within the category of him just not caring all that much in regards to their origins…or so he claimed.

Sothis brought up another finger "Lest we forget the Sword of the Creator, which he deduced was made from my body and that I had perished years before. He knew this, perhaps from the moment he was introduced to the blade itself, and he still kept that a secret." her features hardened "Goetia is smart, unreasonably so, and whatever he cannot deduce with his mind I am almost convinced he can supplement with magic."

True…

"...He said he didn't have a reason to really care." Byleth argued back, albeit it sounded rather weak to her. Especially since Goetia had been aware of their search for answers for some time and had clearly withheld information from both herself and Sothis. There might not have been malicious intent as much as he was apathetic but even still…she could see where Sothis would be coming from.

Frowning, the Goddess lowered her hand "He might not have a reason to care but at the same time, it could very easily be argued that if he did not care so much, then he had no reason to conceal it from us either." the frown grew "He could have just as easily spoken of all he knew of during the many times we met with one another…"

"...That doesn't relate to what you talked about." She pointed out with a shrug of the shoulders. Goetia being aware of a great many things didn't mean he would be suddenly aware of everything at once. He had been in the same room as Aelfric several times and he didn't suspect that the man was one of his own people even once. So clearly he was fallible, even then he had no reason to believe that he would have been attacked. "And he isn't aware of everything."

"No, but he is aware of enough." Sothis stressed, leaning forwards and clawing her hands on the arm of the throne, "Then there is what that Demon God called us…A Divine Demi-Servant." rolling her jaw, she tilted her head "How odd that they have a title for something such as us, despite how unusual our existence is."

Byleth blinked.

They had a title for them.

"Demi…Servant?" Her brows furrowed slightly, glancing to the side and tasting the word in her mind. It sounded somewhat important as well as being all encompassing, because the word implied that there was such a thing as a Servant as well. Yet she was not familiar with the term at all, yet she had been given the title which most certainly didn't sound as though it had been made up on the spot. She had been called that by Sitri and Sitri was one of Goetia's people so it would make sense that he would at least be aware of what it meant.

At least, she supposed it would be and he did seem to wish to depart rather swiftly.

Not to mention the words which Sothis had repeated did return to the forefront of her mind, the wording was innocuous enough but there was the implication that he was expecting it to be disturbing on several different levels. Yet, there was a marked difference between failing to mention something and willfully withholding information from her. Yet everything he had spoken about, his words and lack of surprise to another entity living inside her mind…there was nothing - at any point - to indicate he was surprised. He had taken it all in step.

"...He's encountered something like us before." It was a flat realisation, one that seemed obvious in hindsight given all that Goetia seemingly alluded to having experienced in the past. Even encountering other Gods and Goddesses like Sothis to the point where meeting one meant as much to him as encountering a stray cat, to use his own words against him. The title and his familiarity with them, at least her body, was proof enough that he could infer as much. It begged the question though…how long did he actually know about it?

Was it a recent revelation or was it something he was always aware of? And if so, why did he conceal it from them? There had to be a more substantial reason than he didn't care about them, else he would not have tried to speak with them so often or even entertain conversations with them at all. His actions and words didn't match someone who didn't care, wholly willing to offer his own advice when it mattered and even going out of his way to help both herself and Sothis better understand how their arrangement worked. Not to mention channelling her magical energy more successfully…

She looked back up at Sothis, frowning as she tilted her head to the side "Even if Goetia did know, why wouldn't he talk to us about it? That doesn't make sense to me…"

Sothis exhaled "Goetia seemingly has some manner of personal connection with a great many terms that we are unfamiliar with. More to the point, he has rarely described something as horrifying unless he truly believes it himself." her eyes narrowed, her hand moved to cup her chin. "I would hazard a guess and say that Goetia is indeed familiar with the likes of our existence, this…'Demi-Servant' status, as it were. I would further suggest that he does not approve of it in the least, given his aversion to calling us as such, despite the seeming willingness of his kindred."

Byleth frowned to herself, then glanced to the side for a brief moment. That was quite right, if Goetia had encountered something like her, then she was certain he would have named her appropriately. He was never one to shy away from such things, even if he avoided directly naming the trio at the Monastery as…whatever they were, he went out of his way to explain everything else rather specifically in terms he was familiar with, regardless of whatever anyone else had ever heard of.

Like Familiar's or wraiths or 'Phantasmal' or Noble Phantasms…whatever the latter was. It had been what he called the Heroes Relic, so she would assume it was an existence similar to those, namely something that was a weapon of great power from the past. At least, that's what the Heroes Relics were, passed down through either the ten elites or by the fell King Nemesis. Though, this was her making her own little educated guess, it could just as easily be that a Noble Phantasm was just a strong weapon beyond others…but he never called a Levin sword one.

No…Sothis was right. Goetia had avoided naming her something that would have cleared up a great deal about her existence easily. Rather, it would have effectively just labelled her as an existence that was not wholly unique, but beyond that it wouldn't have really changed much beyond her asking what a full Servant was and if there was a difference between herself and one. Yet Goetia hadn't done any of that…

…

She wondered…

"Do you think it relates to Foogeemaroo?" That was still one of the strangest sounding names she had heard in her life but then again, so was Goetia. There was really nothing for her to comment about on that side of things…and apparently she shared a name with one of Goetia's people as well, so it was quite peculiar at the end of the day. Yet Goetia himself had apparently not noticed all that much and he seemed fairly troubled with Rhea's naming conventions.

Sothis perked up. "Yes…that peculiar name. The one he mentions when he gets emotionally charged in regards to something…" rubbing her chin, the Goddess squinted her eyes rather thoughtfully. "And there was the other one…Mash? An odd name as well, given that it would usually be followed by the word potatoes but I shall not question it further. I doubt we have much else to lead with, especially since he has already made his feelings clear in regards to how he views his father…At the very least, this is a topic worth approaching him on." removing her hand from her chin, she leaned back into her throne. "He was aware of our nature from the very beginning and I would like to know why he kept this to himself, allowing us to blindly wander around without lifting a finger to aid us in any true capacity."

Byleth wouldn't call herself as emotionally invested as Sothis, but this would at least make for something along the lines of a distraction. Arguably, it was also a much more simple problem that she could address rather than how she was supposed to feel in regards to the stranger that was her mother.

"Tomorrow, then?"

Sothis raised an eyebrow "It's approaching the dead of night and I am half convinced that Goetia would still be lurking around in Abyss somewhere. Besides, marching down to the town and looking through the rooms until we stumble upon Goetia is hardly how I suspect either of us would wish to spend our evenings." closing her eyes, her expression softened. "For now…I believe a good night's sleep would do us both a great deal of comfort. Or as close to comfort as either of us are capable of right now."

That was something she could agree with, she was rather tired and the day had taken a little bit out of her.

…Sothis was right. It did feel somewhat liberating to vent all of these pent up feelings to someone. Suddenly Goetia's long winded and emotionally charged outbursts made a great deal of sense to her. He was just releasing all his pent up fury at the time…though she was rather curious as to how much he had been withholding deep inside him if the outbursts were as loud as they were.

…They would probably find out at some point, she supposed.

AN: Another Byleth Chapter.

"Why?" you ask?

Many of you seem to be under the mistaken belief that this is not a crossover. Goetia is indeed one of the protagonists, but the same can be said of Byleth. In developing Goetia, I have neglected Byleth and Sothis. Something which is unacceptable in regards to story telling.

So coming here and complaining about how the Chapter doesn't feature Goetia is all well and good, but I am running with two protagonists here and I do need to develop Byleth as a person as well.

At the moment, Goetia has hit a small static point where he is not truly growing as a character, at least for the time being. You could say that he has briefly hit the flat part of a climb and has done at the moment he threw himself into Abyss.

When the focus returns back to Goetia and away from Byleth…then the story will develop further once more.

Omake: Dinner with the family.

If there was ever such a time as to become one with the world, to achieve a true sense of enlightenment, then this was one such moment. At the very least, it would have ripped Sothis away from whatever this bizarre and downright terrifying situation was supposed to be at the very least.

Her eyes swept over the assembled guests of the large table, although it was more as though the guests who had been assembled were nothing short of…insane. Yes, that was the word to describe this entire situation. Insane. This was nothing short of madness and it said more about her that she was even partaking in it. In fact, if Sothis viewed them as mad…then how did they see her?

That was a terrifying thought in it's own right.

A cough from further down the table turned her eyes onto the vocaliser, the man fidgeted when the attention of well over half a dozen people fell onto him. Glancing between them and the food in front of himself. Idly drumming his fingers on the table before he glanced back up once more, emerald green eyes swirled with nervous energy that made her privately curious how close he was to bolting from the table.

"Sooo…glad we could assemble everyone for this." Romani Archaman, was the name of this odd little human…who was apparently Goetia's father. She couldn't see it, in fact she would call this man the opposite of Goetia in every conceivable way, except for appearance in which they were identical aside from skintone, hair colour and expression. "I know that we've been talking for it for a while now but…glad we could get everyone together for it-"

"No thanks to you." The rebuttal shut the man down, his head lowered and his lips pulled themselves into a wounded frown. Sothis rolled her eyes and swung her head towards the speaker, unsurprisingly finding Goetia not even looking at Romani as he verbally assaulted the man. "Though given your track record of inaction, I would hardly consider it a surprise that-"

The table thudded, something striking it from the bottom. Goetia cut midway through speaking and closed his eyes. His expression twisted for a brief moment before he glanced at the individual directly positioned on his left. Sending a withering glare towards her for a few seconds, it was one of the few instances that Sothis would congratulate Rhea on her temper winning out. She was able to stop Goetia before things got too awkward.

Rhea, meanwhile, was swirling the cup of wine in her hands and staring down at the crimson liquid with a perfectly innocent expression as though she didn't just stamp on Goetia's foot underneath the table. "Hmmm?" she made a noise, then brought her head up to stare at the man. "Sorry, were you in the midst of saying something, Goetia?"

The fact she finished it off with a smile was just adding salt to the wound.

Goetia exhaled, then promptly ignored her existence as he turned to face Romani "As I was saying-"

"Goetia." He went silent again, though this time the tone of voice was more pleading on behalf of Mash sitting opposite him, a slightly strained look on her face as she leaned forwards. The silent begging was more than enough for the man to click his tongue and turn his head rather irritably, but clearly not willing to go through that whole song and dance again.

"Now then." Someone else cleared their throat, Da Vinci leaned forwards and smiled to the assembled guests "Considering we have finally gotten the extended family around for some food. I would like my son in law-"

"You're not my mother." Goetia snapped from across the table almost instantly.

"-I wasn't talking to you." And was countered just as swiftly as Da Vinci didn't even miss a beat in pointing not towards Goetia, but towards Ritsuka, the dark haired boy paused for a moment and glanced up. "Considering he is actually the successful child-"

"Michael Angelo is the better artist between the two of you." Goetia dryly remarked before she could even finish the sentence. The brunette froze for a few seconds, keeping her expression perfectly tranquil before she slowly brought her hands up and locked her fingers together, tenting her arms over the table and aiming a dull glare towards Goetia.

When the woman spoke, it was in a rather slow tone and she only needed to say a single word. "Zepar."

Goetia visibly grimaced and glanced down at his table once more.

Sothis had to hand it to whatever was going on, it was a recipe for certain disaster.

Byleth leaned towards her "Who is Zepar?"

Sothis leaned back "No idea." she muttered under her breath, whoever it was it might have had something to do with the odd nun who was currently giggling further down the table and sending rather flirtatious winks to anyone who happened to make eye contact with her. Sothis had to suppress a shudder at the mere memory of that.

Ritsuka cleared his throat "If we're all done with insulting one another, then perhaps we can get to actually doing what we came here to do. Which was to have some food…" he paused for a moment, then slowly glanced over his shoulder towards the large collection of women who were standing in the back of the room staring straight towards him. Sothis wasn't sure what half the intentions of them were and each was more exotic than the last. "...Namely because I'm slightly worried what would happen if-"

Byleth spoke up "Something just touched my leg." which was then followed by her diving down underneath the table. Silence stretched for what would have been a not uncomfortable amount of time.

Sothis pinched the bridge of her nose, speaking up "It is just as likely that little thing that Chaldeans keep around. The small white-"

Byleth reemerged with a dark skinned girl wearing a skull mask held under the armpits.

"Serenity-chan?" Ritsuka jolted in surprise, then frowned "Wait…how long have you been under there?"

The Assassin didn't say a single word for a brief second, then she slowly looked down in what could clearly be considered shame. Either because she was caught or because she was on the verge of being scalded was one of the two. Though there was something tickling Sothis senses at this point. Something rather odd.

"Wait a second…" Ritsuka furrowed his brows, a look of panic flashing over his features "Have you been manifested the whole time?"

Serenity nodded her head only once.

Byleth dropped her and collapsed to the ground.

Goetia tracked her descent with a blank look for a few moments, then he gradually turned his attention onto Ritsuka. His words were eerily calm, to the point where Sothis didn't register the problem at first. "You mean to tell me that the Assassin Servant who continually releases a deadly cloud of poison has been sitting directly underneath us this entire time…and you and Mash - who are immune to the poison - were planning on having us all eat here?"

Ritsuka looked two seconds away from panicking.

"I would have called this the most elaborate attempt at assassination if it wasn't for the fact you were a complete oaf." Goetia glanced across the table, then leaned forwards and stuck his hand into the bowl of mash potatoes - generously supplied by the nice Sun Knight - and then blurred his arm, slinging the mash forwards and directly into Ritsuka's face with a wet splat. "Eat your own poison. Fool."

Ritsuka wiped the mash from his eyes, then leaned down and picked up the gravy boat.

Which he proceeded to throw into Goetia's face.

Sothis rubbed the bridge of her nose.

This was somehow less chaotic than she imagined.