III - Bottled Thoughts
Clyde groaned as he placed a towel over his left limb, which was now starting to bleed from a cut. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath before opening them and seeing Luna standing in front of him. He gasped and dropped the towel as Luna looked down at the limb.
"That looks… gnarly," said Luna.
"What are you doing here?" asked Clyde. "I thought you were supposed to be watching Sam."
"I just came here to check up on you. And be glad I did, that thing looks gross. I'm gonna get Carol down here."
"No!"
Luna raised her eyebrows in confusion.
"That can get infected, dude."
"I don't want you to tell anyone. As much as I hate lying… and trust me, lying makes me sick… I need you to keep this a secret."
"Clyde, I don't understand. What's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that your sister is not around anymore to repair this. She built this leg and she's the only one who knows how to tinker around with this thing. I tried but it's so advanced!"
"Are you attached to this metal leg? I-I mean figuratively speaking. And literally, I think."
"It's not about that. If anyone finds out I'm hurting, then they're gonna get me to get rid of this thing."
"Yeah, that's kinda what I was asking, dude."
"No, it's not that. They're gonna take Lana's crutches away from her and give them to me. I don't want to do that to her. She's still healing."
"They're probably going to give you new crutches. One don't gotta lose for one to gain."
"We haven't found any new ones. Who knows where the nearest hospital is? But let's say they don't take away Lana's crutches. Then the group will just wait for her to finish healing so then I could have them. And the problem with that? We won't be moving! All 'cause of me!"
"I see," whispered Luna. "That's heavy, man. Heavy on the conscience."
"Yeah. So… you won't tell anyone?"
The cabin doors suddenly burst open, allowing the wind to howl inside. Lori walked inside as Bobby continued to limp forward with his left leg, though his skin was becoming pale. Luna and Clyde stared at the two of them in shock as Ronnie Anne and Lana came out of the dining room.
"CAROL!" screamed Lori.
Luan and Benny ran down the steps as Sam turned herself over on the couch. Clyde began to place his metal leg back inside his limb as Luna walked out of the kitchen.
"What is it?" asked Lana.
"Where's Carol?" asked Lori.
"I don't know. Upstairs, I think."
"Get her, please."
"L-Lori, I can't. I can't get upstairs. My legs."
"I'll go," said Luna.
Luna ran to the stairwells. Bobby groaned as he sat against the wall near the entrance. Lori removed his right boot, revealing a purple swelling bite mark with blood pouring out of it.
"Oh my god! Did you get bit?" cried Ronnie Anne.
"I did," groaned Bobby.
"No, no! Lori, what are you doing? Amputate it now!"
Ronnie Anne reached for Lori's hatchet. However, Lori quickly shoved Ronnie Anne's hands away.
"No, no! It's a snakebite! A snakebite!" shouted Lori.
"Snakebite?" whispered Ronnie Anne.
Luna ran down the stairs while shaking her head.
"I can't find her anywhere," said Luna.
Almost immediately after, Carol and Becky walked inside the cabin. Lori ran up to Carol.
"Bobby got bit! By a snake!" shouted Lori.
"A snake? I can't treat that!"
"You didn't even look at it!"
"I don't need to," said Carol. "We don't have antivenom. If we did, I would've known because it's not that common. Even back then, that sort of stuff was hard to get."
"Hospitals have it, right?"
"Yeah, but we haven't had great luck with hospitals in our past."
"We haven't even found a house lately— let alone a hospital!" exclaimed Benny.
"Plus, the weather's starting to get really bad out there," said Luan.
"And you got no food," said Luna.
"And no Vonda," said Ronnie Anne. "Where the hell is Vonda?"
"She ran off," said Lori as she began to head for the door. "I'm gonna find a hospital. How long do I have?"
"A day. Maybe two," said Carol. "But don't go. Bobby could get better on his own…"
"But then? You hesitated."
"His leg might be paralyzed forever. We may have to amputate him. Could happen if you're too late."
"Then I won't be," said Lori, checking the three bullets inside her revolver.
"Don't go," said Benny. "You're starving. It's cold and snowy and windy as heck out there. You don't know where to find a hospital. You don't even know if it's got anything in there. It could be filled with roamers. You could encounter raiders. What you would be doing— it's suicide."
"Come with me, then. Watch my back."
"Benny, don't let her go," said Bobby.
"Shut up, Bobby."
"No, he's right," said Benny. "Listen to your husband! You want to worry him sick? You know there's a good chance you might not make it back?"
"I have to do something," said Lori. "I just have to."
"Do you even know what kind of snake bit Bobby?" asked Becky.
"No! Does it matter?"
"It does."
Lori looked at Carol.
"Does it?" asked Lori.
"Yeah, there are some antivenoms specific to each snake. If you don't know what kinda snake bit Bobby, then we're out of luck. And we're not gonna insert him with every antivenom vial you bring back. He could overdose."
"Oh my god," Lori exhaled painfully. "What can we do? If only Lisa was here! But no, some of you wanted her gone! Don't think I forgot about that!"
"Listen here, Lori," growled Becky. "Carol's only trying to help. That's all she's been doing, so don't fucking guilt-trip her. Maybe your dumbass husband should've watched his step."
"You need to watch your step."
Becky growled as she stormed closer to Lori.
"Hey, hey, hey!" exclaimed Benny. "Ladies, stop!"
"What are you gonna do?" whispered Becky. "I'm curious— what are you gonna do?"
"Enough," said Carol. "Jesus, guys. I mean, what the hell? Now isn't the time to be fighting!"
"Things are going to hell and our leader wants to point fingers. I could point fingers too. I could say that if Lisa were never born, we wouldn't be in this damn mess in the first place!"
"How could you say that?" gasped Luan.
"Dude, that's messed up," said Luna.
"So you all agree," said Becky. "What we need are solutions, not blame."
"I think I have one," said Lana.
The group looked at her. She then shied away from the attention and turned towards Bobby.
"Can you describe the snake?"
"Uh… yeah. Yeah, I think so. Umm, it looked brown."
"Okay," nodded Lana.
"It had, like, spots on its back."
"How'd they look like?"
"I don't know. I know they were brown, but like darker than the brown scales."
"Did they look like hourglasses?"
"I don't know. I think?"
"What about its head?"
"Its head? It was light brown. Like it didn't match the rest of its body."
"A copperhead," said Lana excitedly. "I know what bit you. It was a copperhead snake."
"Well, damn," said Luna. "Looks like owning a whole bunch of snakes came in handy."
"Okay," said Lori. "What do I look for?"
"I don't know," said Carol.
"You don't know? I thought you were trying to be a nurse or something!"
"Haley, Dr. White, Lisa— none of them told me anything about antivenoms! Well, that's a lie— Lisa did. But… I forgot."
"It's okay, 'cause I remember," said Lana. "Remember when Dad got bit in the butt by that pit viper I brought back home? And he couldn't sit right for like a week?"
"Yeah, and he banned venomous snakes from the house," said Luna. "Thank goodness for that."
"I still kept a rattlesnake under my bed. Anyways, Dad had to take like so many of these antivenom vials."
"Lana, we're kinda running on a timer here," said Lori.
"Oh, sorry. The point is that these vials should be labeled with the type of snake that came with the snakebite. Look for one that says it's for copperheads. They're pit vipers, so look in the pit viper section. And bring back a lot of them. Like, a lot."
"Okay," said Lori. "Thanks, Lana. You're a lifesaver."
"Uh huh," scoffed Becky.
"We're having a talk when I come back, Becky."
"If you come back."
"Quiet, Becky!" whispered Carol. "Stop trying to provoke her."
Lori grabbed the doorknob and opened it. Benny then ran up to her.
"I'm coming," said Benny. "Gotta have someone to watch your back, right?"
Lori smiled and nodded. She then heard a scuffling noise coming from the kitchen. Lana turned around and gasped as she saw a furry rodent running along the wooden floor.
"Close the door!" shouted Lana. "Close the door, Lori!"
Ronnie Anne smiled.
"Keep it open!" she shouted. "Don't close it until the rat leaves!"
Benny clenched his teeth nervously as the rat darted past him and out the entrance, moving away from Lori who was already outside. Ronnie Anne ran towards the entrance and slammed the door shut, keeping Benny inside.
"Hey, I need to go with Lori," said Benny.
"In a minute," said Ronnie Anne.
Lana limped as fast as she could with her crutches before using them to smack Ronnie Anne away from the entrance.
"Hey!" yelled Ronnie Anne.
Lana opened the door and looked at the rat scurrying across the wooden porch and down the staircase. She dropped her crutches and ran after the rat, getting a gasp out of Lori and Ronnie Anne. She was then followed by Ronnie Anne who pursued her. However, she still kept her concentration on the rat as it began to hop across the snowy field.
"I'm gonna getcha'!"
Suddenly, Lana was tackled by Ronnie Anne.
"Hey, get off me!" yelled Lana.
She tried to shove Ronnie Anne away before turning her head facing the rat upon hearing the flaps of a nearby owl. The owl then grabbed the rat with its talons and then flew away.
"No!" yelled Lana.
"It's for our own good," said Ronnie Anne. "We can't have them spreading disease. Too risky, especially—"
Lana slammed her fist against Ronnie Anne's nose, causing her to yelp and stumble back. Ronnie Anne grabbed her nose in pain before Lana punched her again in the face. Ronnie Anne yelled as she grabbed Lana's wrists and squeezed them.
"Guys, that's enough!" exclaimed Lori, now running towards the girls.
Hearing the scuffle outside the cabin, Benny, Carol, Becky, Luna, Clyde, Luan, and Kimi ran out the door, leaving Bobby and Sam alone inside the cabin. Lori grabbed Ronnie Anne and pulled her away from Lana. Ronnie Anne elbowed Lori in the stomach, sending a dose of nausea straight to her head. As Lori released Ronnie Anne to hold her own stomach, Ronnie Anne ran towards Lana and kicked her knees.
"You… fucking… liar!" yelled Ronnie Anne.
Lily panted as she looked around the woods. She heard rattling noises coming from a small bag that she held. She then fell to her knees and groaned in pain as her flushed cheeks felt the blistering cold biting away at it. Her throat felt dry and sharp as she began to cry.
"Lori!" she cried. "Linky!"
Lincoln and Lynn raised their heads as they heard a noise nearby. They turned their heads to their right and saw a little girl in the distance crying for help, prompting them to run towards her.
"Wait a minute," said Lincoln. "Is that Lily?"
"What the hell is she doing out here?" asked Lynn.
Lily continued to cry for help as Lincoln and Lynn approached her. She turned around and a smile gleamed on her face.
"Linky! Lynn!"
"You got blood on you!" gasped Lynn.
"It's okay. I not get bit," said Lily.
"Lily, what are you doing out here?" asked Lincoln.
"Did roamers attack the cabin?" asked Lynn. "Are we being raided?"
"I ran out," said Lily.
"Why?"
"I was chasing a bun-bun," said Lily. "Then, I saw roamers in the snow. They got blood on me."
"Bun-bun?" gasped Lincoln. "By that you mean—?"
"She means a rabbit, Lincoln. I mighta' told her about your stuffed rabbit."
"So, we're not in danger? Nothing?"
"We can go home then?" asked Lynn.
"Yes. Please take me back to the cabin. It's scary out here."
Lynn nodded and grabbed Lily's hand as she began to walk her to the cabin.
"Of course it's scary, that's why you're not supposed out here by yourself!" yelled Lincoln. "Lily, what were you thinking running away from the cabin? A-A-And just to chase a rabbit? That's incredibly stupid and dangerous!"
"I'm sorry," frowned Lily.
"Sorry won't cut it when you're dead!"
"Linc, chill out, man," said Lynn.
"No! She could've died out there! Lily, you could've died! You could've frozen to death! Someone could've found you and taken you away and done some horrible stuff to you! You could've been bitten by a roamer out there! Bitten!"
"I think she gets it."
"No, I don't think she does. I don't think she gets it in her head that once you get bit, that's it, you're gone. At best, you get a limb cut off! Is that what you want, Lily? You want to walk without a leg or an arm?"
"So sorry," whispered Lily.
"Alright, she's sorry," said Lynn. "No need to describe it in detail."
"That's what she needs," said Lincoln. "A friend of mine got bit out in the cold like this. Remember Tabby?"
Lily shook her head.
"Of course you don't! Because she died! And you were too young to remember!"
Lily began to tear up and cry softly.
"Man, shut up," said Lynn. "Otherwise, I'm gonna shove my fist up your… your teeth!"
Lynn then turned towards Lily.
"Hey, it's okay. You're here now with us, aren't you? No need to be scared anymore."
"I'm… I'm stupid," whimpered Lily.
"No, Lincoln is the stupid one. He's just being a big ol' jerk to you because he hasn't eaten in a while. But you understand, right? No more going outside by yourself?"
"I understand."
"Good. Give me a hug."
Lily wiped the tears from her eyes before Lynn picked her up. Lily then wrapped her arms around her and closed her eyes. Lincoln sighed as he felt his energy depleting and his limbs getting weaker.
Suddenly, they heard screaming in the direction of the cabin. Lincoln and Lynn looked at each other before running towards the source of the scream. Lincoln gasped for air as he struggled to keep up with Lynn, who was still holding Lily. Her eyes then widened and she placed Lily down onto the ground.
"You were able to run all this time?" yelled Ronnie Anne. "Another fucking secret from your wormy little ass!"
Ronnie Anne shoved Lana down to the ground before seeing Lynn run towards her. She tried to raise her arms to brace herself but Lynn's tackle pummeled her faster than she could react. Lynn punched Ronnie Anne in the eye and then placed her arms against her neck.
"Why are you touching my sister?" yelled Lynn.
"Lynn, get off!" yelled Luna.
Lincoln ran towards Lynn and shoved her away from Ronnie Anne, who coughed out tiny spits of blood and gasped for air. Lynn then turned around and slapped Lincoln before grabbing his coat.
"Don't ever touch me like that!" growled Lynn.
Lincoln then spit at Lynn, causing her to flinch and rub her eyes. He then grabbed her hoodie and tossed her towards the ground. He then turned to see Ronnie Anne but was immediately smacked in the head with a crutch by Clyde.
"Stop it!" yelled Clyde. "You're hurting your own sister!"
"You're hurting my brother!" yelled Luan.
Clyde turned around and saw Luan approach him before she kicked his metal leg. He tripped and fell forward.
Luna then punched Luan in the jaw, causing her to fall back on the ground. Lori tried to tell them to stop though she couldn't get a word out as she still felt the urge to vomit.
"What's wrong with you?" yelled Luna. "Clyde had to walk in pain all this time because Lana was too damn greedy to give up her crutches and then you just kick him where it hurts him the most?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" yelled Luan. "Benny!"
Benny grabbed Luna's arms from behind and kicked her knees, forcing her to kneel down as Benny held her arms back. Luan then punched Luna in the face. Lynn smiled before kicking Lincoln in the groin. Ronnie Anne screamed as she kicked Lynn from behind. Lana leaped up and began clawing at her face.
"Stop!" yelled Carol. "Everyone, stop!"
Kimi began to growl and bark.
"Someone shut that mutt up!" yelled Ronnie Anne before being punched by Lana.
The group members continued to fight each other as confusion built up inside Lori. She looked around and struggled to act.
"Enough," groaned Lori.
Lynn began to choke Ronnie Anne as Lana shoved Lincoln to the ground. She then looked at Becky and immediately released Ronnie Anne.
"Gun, gun, gun!" she gasped as blood dripped from her lips.
Lori turned around and saw Becky aiming a Glock 17 at Lana and Ronnie Anne. Benny let go of Luna. Luan moved away from Clyde. Lincoln began to get in front of Lana.
"Enough!" hissed Becky. "What the fuck is this? You people are acting like animals!"
"Becky, put the gun down," said Lori. "We can all talk it out. We can end the day with no hard feelings."
"Becky… don't," said Carol.
"People need to know who the hell is in charge," said Becky. "Just say the word, Lori. Or else… I'll make a choice. A permanent one."
"Don't do something you'll regret," said Lori. "They're just letting out all their anger. No grudges. I promise you. We're all just hungry. We know you are. Put down the gun. We… I won't hold it against you."
Becky continued to hold the gun with a tight grip as she stared down at Lana while Kimi continued to bark in the background. Her thoughts were screaming at her. Her heart was beating at an incredible pace as she felt her hunger drive her anger.
"Becky!" exclaimed Lori.
Becky turned her pistol towards Kimi and released a cathartic shot of deadly power into the dog. Kimi let out a small cry before collapsing to the ground, blood pouring out of its spine. Becky unclenched her jaws and lowered her pistol, feeling a sense of relief removing all her thoughts.
Lori looked at the dog in shock. Carol was left aghast as she stared at Becky, who continued to stare at the dog before glancing around.
"Yeah... we're all hungry," said Becky. "Thanks for clarifying that, Lori. I solved that problem for all of us."
Lana felt her soul break down upon seeing Kimi's lifeless eyes stare at her. Benny looked at Becky with glowing anger in his eyes.
"We feed our people," continued Becky. "Then, we look for the antivenom."
The wind howled as Lynn's eyes zoomed into the sight of the dead dog in front of her. Luan wiped her lips as she stood up and headed back for the cabin.
"Someone had to step up," added Becky. "But it was Lori who gave the word. Couldn't have done it without her."
"W-Why would—" said Ronnie Anne before being silenced by Lincoln.
"Just let it go," whispered Lincoln.
Becky then looked at Lori with an exhausted smile.
"What should we do?" asked Becky.
The tension felt as if it were being bent to its limits as Lori stared at Becky's ominous eyes waiting for a response to satisfy the voices in her head.
"Skin the dog," said Lori. "Then gut it…"
Lori looked away as she muttered the ending of her response.
"...then cook it."
Benny placed his hands on his head while closing his eyes. Luan raised her hands to reach out for the dog but quickly lowered it as Becky approached her.
"That's not right!" cried out Lana as she felt herself getting choked up. "We can't just kill one of our own. We can't."
"Shut up!" said Becky. "When'd you think you were gonna tell us about your fake injury?"
"Screw you! It wasn't fake!"
"Easy there," said Benny before facing Becky. "Damn it, Becky. Just take Kimi and go."
Becky puffed before kneeling down, grabbing Kimi's lifeless body. She then picked it up and walked towards the cabin.
"Wait."
Becky stopped on her tracks and turned around, seeing Benny still facing her as he comforted Lana.
"When we find Hana again… don't lie to her."
"Why not? Seems like we can't get enough of it."
Becky then turned back to the cabin and walked inside. Benny then turned towards Lori.
"We need to stay," said Benny.
"We already discussed this—" said Lori.
"Then, you stay. I'll get the damn antivenom myself. Just don't leave our people in there with that woman."
"That's right, Lori," said Carol. "She's not in charge. But she's certainly acting like she is."
"I know, Carol."
"Well, you have to do something about that!" said Clyde.
"I'll talk to her later. You… you have to get inside. That leg of yours— when were you going to tell me about—"
Lori looked towards the woods and saw the face of a scared little girl. She gasped and ran towards Lily, who slowly hid behind a tree.
"I'm so sorry you had to see all that," said Lori, hugging Lily. "What are you doing out here?"
"I got lost."
"Lost?"
Lily nodded as Lori sighed and looked down at her hands.
"What you got there?"
"I don't know. Some… I found it."
Lori looked at the granola bar, a water bottle, and a plastic bag. Her eyes grew as she looked inside the bag, finding small vials. She slowly reached inside, feeling the cold glass touch her fingers. She then lifted the vials away from the plastic bag and held it in front of her eyes to read.
"It's antivenom," whispered Lori. "Oh my god."
"Am I in trouble?" sniffled Lily.
"No. No, you're not. Everything's okay. We're gonna go back inside and eat... okay?"
Lily nodded. Lori kept looking inside the bag, finding more vials, but for different snakes. She lifted some of the vials and placed it in her pocket before groaning.
"There's only three. Is that good enough?"
"I don't think so," said Carol.
"We found more," said Lincoln, lifting up the vials from a backpack. "Got it off a roamer."
"How many more?" asked Lori.
"Four more."
"Four…"
"Will that do it?" asked Carol, now facing Lana.
Lana shrugged before nodding. She continued to look down at the ground, allowing the snow to cover her teardrops.
"Let's get these to Bobby," said Carol.
"Does that mean Lily just saved Bobby's life?" asked Lynn.
"Yeah, I think so."
"Maybe Jeffrey and Preston weren't so crazy. There's a God somewhere, watching over us."
"It's a miracle, isn't it?" said Ronnie Anne.
"Yeah. Sorry about… you know— punching you."
"I'm sorry too."
"Come on. Let's go inside. This snow is starting to get really heavy."
Lynn picked up a blood-stained Ronnie Anne and patted her in the back as they both headed back into the cabin. Benny slowly got Lana back to her feet as Luan and Luna hugged. Lincoln grabbed the crutches and followed Clyde to the cabin. Lori held Lily's hands and walked to the cabin, as Carol remained behind. After a moment of hesitation, she followed the rest of the group inside the cabin.
Carol wiped her syringe with a wet rag before placing it inside her backpack.
"How are you feeling, Bobby?" she asked.
Bobby looked towards the dining table, away from the fire next to the couch where he was leaning his back against. He saw Lori talking to Becky before she turned around, facing him. She smiled as she began to walk towards him.
"I don't really feel any different," said Bobby.
"Give it a few hours," said Lori, looking at an empty vial. "Then you'll be on your feet."
Bobby gave a soft smile before it faded as he looked away. Lori walked back into the dining room, placing the empty vial back into its respective backpack.
"Lori, can you get me some naproxen?" asked Carol. "I saw it somewhere in there and I just… I need it."
"You need it? I mean, it's been over two years, but I guess it's never too late to relapse."
"Lori…"
"The taste of addiction never leaves your mouth? I thought we were past this."
"Lori— naproxen. Not oxycodone. Two different drugs. Two different purposes. Can't get addicted on this one."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
Lori reached inside the backpack and pulled out a bottle of pills. She then walked towards Carol, holding the bottle.
"Are you feeling… okay?" asked Lori.
"What do you mean?"
"You feel like… it's worth… living… right?"
"Oh god, Lori. I'm not going to overdose myself."
"How can I be sure? I mean, I'm sorry, but I just can't help thinking that you might—"
Becky took the pill bottle from Lori's hand and handed it to Carol.
"What the hell, Becky?"
"Stop worrying so much and do what she asked you to do," hissed Becky.
"What she asked me to do? Stop acting like you're in charge! You're not!"
"Can't help what I'm acting like. You should know."
Lori looked at Becky's green eyes with a stern expression on her face.
"I'm the leader. You're not. I give the orders. You follow them. If you don't like that, then leave. But as long as you're here with me… you listen to me. Got it?"
"I see you struggling," said Becky. "I'm just trying to do what's best for us."
"That's not up to you."
"Oh, I know. 'Cause if it was up to me, we wouldn't even be going to Royal Woods. We take large treks like this and people die. You know why that is? Because when you got a goal in mind, you don't stop until you achieve it, right?"
"Stop rambling."
"Think about all the good places we passed by. The Appalachians weren't a bad idea, you know. But no… you- you want to go to Royal Woods because of a letter? A letter from a person who could be dead right now?"
"What's your point?"
"We need to stop moving from place to place in search of some sort of sanctuary. There's never going to be a sanctuary unless we make it ours. But Royal Woods…? What good is that place?"
"It's our home."
"It's not our home anymore!"
"Well, good thing you're not in charge. And if you want to stay in this group, stop acting so difficult."
"But it's fine for Lana to act out of line? For Lisa? They both killed people when it wasn't up to them! Huh! What about them? They never got punished for that and I betcha' they never will! Why?"
"Because they're family. You're not."
A large silence deafened the living room, leaving only the sound of fire cracking on the logs. Lynn paused skinning Kimi. Luna looked at both girls as Sam stared upwards into the ceiling.
"Well…" whispered Becky before turning around and storming up the stairwell.
Lori looked at Carol who placed the pill bottle into her backpack.
"That was way too harsh," said Carol.
"You're the one who was worried about her acting like she was in charge. You wanted me to do something."
"Yes, that's true, but…" said Carol before whispering, "...why the hell did you say she wasn't family?"
"Well, she isn't!"
"We're family. We're all your family."
Lori closed her eyes in shame. She nodded softly.
"You're right. What's wrong with me?"
"The hunger, the cold, it's making us all crazy. Apologize to Becky, alright?"
"Alright."
Carol walked away from the living room and went upstairs, leaving Lori to contemplate on her words.