Veritaserum is a substance strictly controlled by the Ministry of Magic, arguably the most potent truth serum in the world. Severus Snape had not waited for explicit Ministry permission for – ah – 'most' batches of the serum he had produced in the past, but his current brew was by order of the 'Hogwarts High Inquisitor' herself.
The production of a superior vial of Veritaserum was an advanced undertaking with many stages of brewing and maturing spanning over the course of a full lunar cycle. Needless to say, it was taking up a lot of his precious time.
After a week of insomnia, and it being Saturday evening, he was glad to finally be looking forward to sleeping nine hours straight.
Severus teased a hardback journal out from under Liquescent Solutions for Uncommon Venoms and flicked through pages heavy with black ink and cramped writing. He opened the lunar calendar to find the dates Dolores would anticipate the Veritaserum completed. Severus was mildly surprised to see the unmarked slot of the ninth of January, his birthday, seven days after.
Wednesday. Waning Gibbous. Thirty-six years old.
He had initially managed to trick the Hogwarts personnel out of 'celebrating' his birthday two years in a row. But having been on staff for more than fourteen years, in due course, they discovered the day. A decidedly awkward affair, he typically acquired a few bottles of alcohol and a book or two he would not have chosen for himself.
Hopeful that they will forget this year, he turned his attention back to the task at hand.
His personal improvement for the standard Veritaserum recipe substituted crushed Sopophorous Beans with pulped Imp Spleen, speeding up the maturation considerably without sacrificing quality. He also preferred an alembic for distilling in order to extend shelf-life – instead of filtering the end product through wax cloth as directed in traditional texts.
Severus poured a Vial of Ptolemy into a copper cauldron simmering on a bluebell flame while using his other hand to stir in an anti-clockwise motion. A hot cloud of white steam issued from the bubbling potion and rolled out over the tabletop and flagstones like fine mist over a forest floor.
The ladle touched the copper belly of the cauldron with rhythmic thumps. He counted fifteen clunks and slipped the tool out of the translucent potion, reaching for the velvet satchel of Moonstone Powder and his most sensitive set of scales. He knew the recipe by heart and his hands moved deftly about his workspace.
Stir Powdered Moonstone into the mixture one spoonful at a time, dissolving thoroughly.
Tonight he could hear the wind howling around the many corners of the castle even from the dungeons three levels below ground.
The clock on the corner cabinet had barely struck six when the unmistakable sound of Dolores Umbridge's kitten heels echoed through the corridor outside. He cast a Stasis charm on the bubbling would-be Veritaserum and braced his self-control in preparation for the encounter.
When the door creaked open and the white vapour from the potion slid over the threshold.
What a sight I must be, the black-robed Potions Master standing up to his knees in fog. He almost laughed.
A miserable-looking Holly stepped inside first, followed by a smug Umbridge. Holly's schoolbag hung over one shoulder. Her Muggle jeans and her greying top both looked old. Severus could only guess that she chose this outfit to irritate Umbridge, who has made her hate for students wearing casual Muggle clothing very clear. Holly's eyes were fixed on the floor and her mane of dishevelled black hair hid her face.
In order to set Umbridge at ease regarding Holly's punishment, Severus made as much a show of unveiling the pile of imp bodies tied together by the hair on Holly's workstation as he could endure. He performed a practical demonstration of extracting the spleen with a scalpel and a hooked needle, taking special care to properly exhibit the saline soaking and pulping processes. For the pulverising procedure, he donned stained leather gloves and worked methodically over the imp spleen with the mallet. By the end of his demonstration, both witches eyed him and the mallet warily.
Dolores observed gleefully as he then ordered an unmistakeably revolted Holly to perform her first imp splenectomy. He scoffed at her when she mangled the small, dead creature in an attempt to find the tiny organ located posterior to the stomach and anterior to the left hemidiaphragm.
The Hogwarts High Inquisitor left his office with a light-hearted giggle when the spleen Holly managed to extract squirt sticky yellow liquid over the table and her face.
Finally.
As soon as the sickly sweet perfume died away Holly took her glasses off, Scourgifying both herself and the round spectacles before pressing it back onto her nose.
He did not have to use Legilimency to know that Dolores had her burning with hate. It seemed as if the weight of the entire castle was pressing down on Holly's shoulders.
Infuriated by Draco's behaviour on the pitch, he found himself empathising with Holly, knowing all too well what it was like to be harassed by peers.
We seem to have a lot in common.
Not trusting himself to not upset Holly further, Severus choose to pour silently over a tome in a shadowed corner of the room. When he did look up, it was only through his hair and to check on Holly as she accumulated a small stack of spleens on her cutting board. She worked with the enthusiasm of someone who very much wanted to do just about anything else.
It was good that she was keeping her hands busy. He wanted her to cool down before pushing his own agenda. Thus he finished another eleven pages before checking the page number and snapping the volume shut.
Page two hundred and ninety-five.
The rumble of raindrops falling on the Great Lake started as a faint pitter-patter and grew louder by the minute. It was quiet and warm inside, a fire hissed in the grate and a few torches were lit along the walls. The faint smell of burning wood hung in the dimly lit chamber, pleasantly contrasting the raging cold outside.
He wanted to speak but thought better of it, instead looking up at the portrait of Vindictus Viridian above the limestone mantel of the hearth.
"Leave us, Vindictus." Severus bid the Potioneer brewing inside the ornate frame as he rose to return The History of Systems of Thought to the bookcase.
The eighteenth-century Headmaster sniffed indignantly and threw down the ingredients he had been measuring bitterly before leaving with his nose in the air. A phial spun around noisily on Vindictus' abandoned table, dribbling purple liquids all over his notes.
Severus visited his private ingredient cupboard and slid out a rectangular wooden box and a bundle of Jobberknoll Feathers before joining Holly at the worktable. She looked over with interest while preparing the saline blend, pouring liberal amounts of salt into a beaker of water without mixing.
He stuck a long finger under her hand holding the bag of salt, preventing her from tipping more into the water.
Her skin was cold and soft.
"Too much. Now, stir." The green eyes found the black.
Holly looked mutinous but thumped the salt sack down and started to stir vigorously.
He placed the box and feathers on the table.
The cheek. She's still upset.
"You will play Quidditch again." He said quietly, busying himself with removing the Statis charm on the Veritaserum. With a wave of his wand, he lit the bluebell flame under the cauldron again.
"How do you know?" She quickly added, "Sir?" She picked up the mallet and slipped on his oversized gloves, trying to copy his method for pulping.
The potion simmered again, exuding more white steam. He was pleased to see her make quick work of the spleens.
He raised his brows and said simply: "She will leave Hogwarts – as all the rest before, and you will fly again."
Holly watched him as he unlocked the case and took off the lid, pointing his wand at a live snake curling into a corner inside.
"Sir?" She asked doubtfully, unable to look away from the creature.
Severus stunned the adder before it could possibly engage in any kind of conversation with the Girl Who Lived.
"Veritaserum, Holly, we've been progressing this batch the entire evening. Adder's Fork comes next." He nodded at the immobilised reptile in his hand and gestured toward the open book on the other side of the table.
"But for Umbridge? Why?"
Severus fixed his eyes on her as she was adding the flattened spleens to the saline blend.
He paused.
"I will be giving her a fake." He stated frankly.
"Then why are we making this?"
"What better way to disguise a placebo than producing the real thing in front of her. Besides, you have to do something during your many detentions." His lip curled, "Who knows, you – might – even learn something."
She grinned broadly at the idea of cheating Umbridge. "I won't tell. Sir."
He was relieved to see her looking happier than when she arrived.
"I'm counting on it, Princess." He said, compressing the adder's jaws to open its mouth. He used a small silver scissor to cut the tongue out at the root. She twitched at his use of the nickname he had given her in her first Potions class. The class might have taken it as a joke, but he had meant it as praise.
Or was it flattery?
"What will you do with it now?" Holly looked at the petrified snake on the table.
"I will use the skin and heart for other potions." He said as he deposited the snake back into the box, holding his tongue about the uses of adder's heart and skin in more disreputable brews.
"Hand me the blade." He held his open palm in front of her. She swiftly laid the silver knife in his hand.
Severus cut the tongue lengthwise and dropped it into the cauldron, suspending the other half in a jar of liquid.
"Add six spleens."
Holly leaned over the cauldron, dropping the pulped intestines in the bubbling concoction.
He counted out twelve, tiny blue feathers and dropped them into the potion.
Their fingers brushed in passing.
"Now we allow it to cool before distillation and thereafter a full moon-cycle of maturation."
"Brilliant." She gazed into the now translucent mix, sniffing as if trying to determine if it was truly odourless. Her hair curled up in the rush of steam.
"Sir, I've been meaning to ask you . . ." she said softly, pausing to study her fingernails.
Severus killed the flame and place the lid on the cauldron.
"Would you tell me about my mum?" she asked, now sitting on her hands and leaning toward him.
He studied her carefully. "What would you like to know?"
United through death – and love – for Lily. Perhaps the Dark Lord gave me a gift I have been blind to. He slew my mortal enemy and a woman that would never love me back, uniting me with their daughter instead.
He cringed at his own weakness.
"When did you meet her?" She leaned her sharp chin on her palm, her green eyes shining.
"We were nine. She lived close by." He replied stiffly, trying to weigh his words carefully.
The idea of Severus Snape as a nine-year-old seemed to be amusing to her.
"What was she like? You know, when she was as old as me?" She looked delighted imagining a fifth-year Lily.
"Well, she looked just like you. . ." he began, drinking in her features as if given permission.
"Except for the hair, yeah." She smiled, smoothing a jet-black lock behind her ear and exposing the lightning bolt on her forehead. "Everyone says that."
"Her Patronus took the form of a doe." He said, surveying her coolly through his curtains of black hair.
Holly's eyes grew big.
"NO WAY!" She jumped up, closing the space between them seemingly by accident. "Mine too!"
"Show me." Severus said very softly, staring intently down at her. Her body dangerously close to his own.
He had seen her Patronus from afar in her third year during a Quidditch match against Ravenclaw, but he wanted to see it again. Up close.
Smiling, she raised her wand.
"Expecto Patronum!"
From the tip burst a silvery doe, landing on his office floor and casting its brilliant glow across the chamber.
He stared at the ethereal creature, dumbfounded by her beauty.
Severus raised his own wand, knuckles white. Another silver doe burst out and landed next to Holly's. Her head snapped around to him, eyes round.
The deer sniffed at each other curiously, ears twitching. One was clearly larger and more poised, the other smaller in stature with a bigger head and eyes. Then, both animals hopped around each other, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the closed window into the dark depths of the Lake.
Holly watched the deer float away, as soon as their silvery glow faded, she turned back to Severus. Her eyes were full of tears, although she smiled genuinely.
They regarded each other quietly for a long moment. He followed the progress of a single tear running over her cheek to gather at the tip of her nose. She did not seem to notice.
"Did you love her very much?" Holly asked gently, more tears sparkling on her lashes.
She could just as well have struck him through the face.
Seconds passed.
His eyes bored into hers covetously and when he found his breath he said: "I still love her."
Then his lips curled into a rare, thin smile and for a moment outside of time, they shared a moment of complete understanding.
The dark shape of the Giant Squid passed close by the window in a rush of bubbles.
"Go wash your hands with the foxglove detergent," He pointed to a carafe above the stone sink. "- and come to my desk."
"Right." She said, watching him leave.
She ambled over to his desk after scrubbing her hands, plopping down unceremoniously.
"I am going to ask you questions pertaining to your dreams since autumn. If I find any deceit, I will break into your mind by force. Do you understand?"
Holly glared at him with unguarded disgust.
"Is this about the Department of Mysteries, sir? That's the only one! I swear."
Severus snorted.
Always the rocky road.
"Take a seat by the fire." He said quietly, rising to his full height and rounding his desk with robes swelling melodramatically. He took his preferred armchair and waited for Holly to join him.
She took a seat across from him, hands stuffed in the pouch at the front of her top.
"What is that altar doing in your head, Holly Potter?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." She said stubbornly.
He sighed forcefully and whipped out his wand again, pointing it at her nose.
"Legilimens." Severus growled.
He brushed her defences aside and bore into her mind, immediately flooded with hundreds of images. She stood no chance against him.
He proposed the Department of Mysteries corridor and was rewarded with the same recollection from before, a dream following the path to the prophecy. It seemed to be the only dream for weeks on end.
A rush of feelings came to meet him as soon as he suggested the altar to her again.
He was appalled to find her feelings regarding the ruin covered altar restricted to arousal and offering no further remembrances.
It was as if there was a dam created in the core of her memory, dark energy ebbing from it. He immediately suspected a strong memory charm of sinister origin.
He investigated the phenomena, attempting to penetrate the barriers with different techniques. His suspicion mounted considerably after being forced back from the vault after each attempt to breach.
Severus soon found that the more he upset the barriers, the more Holly seemed to react with overpowering feelings of excitement at the stimulation.
Every time he drew back to attempt to infiltrate the barrier, she seemed hopeful that he would return to try again, finding some sort of erotic delight in the stimulation.
He thought he heard a moan and released the spell.
His office appeared and he found Holly holding onto his forearms, her nails digging into his sleeves, the Dark Mark humming with fire.
Confused, he shook her off. She seemed to be as baffled as him, her cheeks were pink and her pupils dilated.
They both sat back in their armchairs, she looked at him expectantly.
"There are clear signs of an elaborate memory charm performed on your mind . . ." He declared slowly. "I have to think."
Severus closed his eyes and raised his hands to the hair hanging into his face, raking it together and tying it magically at the base of his skull in one fluid movement. He sat back into the cushions of the armchair, thinking hard.
What could be concealed inside? A reservoir of secret memories?
The Potions Master leaned his face into the resigned hand he was dragging down his face and sat like a stone for a few minutes, his thoughts drifting in and out of focus.
He knew it was very important to stay awake, but he could no longer remember what exactly it was that he had to do.
There was a soft rustle of clothing but he fought the urge to see what was going on.
The arm of the wingchair creaked and he suddenly felt warmer.
He smelled something floral and chocolate frog. There was also something faintly sour that he identified as imp gall.
Hours could have gone by.
Severus opened his eyes with great difficulty and regarded Holly through his fingers with a deep, multi-year-old frown.
In the low light, he could see her reach out slowly, taking hold of his wrist to pull his limp, cold hand toward her face, pressing it to her jaw.
He stared up at her in bewilderment.
He could not think.
A slow-burning sensation was spreading throughout him, paralyzing his arms, legs, and brain.
She was even nearer him now.
His mouth was very dry.
She placed one of her small, warm hands on the side of his cold face.
She was much too close. He could count every one of her eyelashes . . .
His brain seemed to have been Stunned.
Severus hesitantly skimmed his fingers over the apple of her cheek and watched as she rubbed up against his long, pale fingers like a cat.
He turned his nose toward her hand and closed his eyes, feeling her skin agains him and smelling gall and ink. Decades of bottled-up longing exploded in his skull.
She used a finger to trace his lips and he felt her place one, two and then three delicate kisses against his palm before he twitched his hand away from her.
"Enough." His voice was gravel.
Holly grabbed hold of his retracting wrist with both hands. She brought his palm back to her face with her warm hands cupped over his larger, calloused hand.
Dismayed, Severus saw his index and middle finger shaking faintly against her hair. It took him another second to realise that she had now slid his thumb into her mouth, as if completely unaware of his reservations.
He quickly started feeling very self-conscious, as if roused from a dream.
He was dozing off in an armchair with his fingers being sucked on by a schoolgirl.
Severus sat up straighter.
It was like he'd never seen her before.
Holly's eyes were lidded as she looked down on him.
Their eyes ate at each other.
He could only watch her lips close around his knuckle before taking back control of his hand.
He hissed while sliding his finger over her wet tongue, slowly taking his thumb out of her mouth.
Severus was unable to resist pressing down on her bottom teeth with his fingernail as he exited her mouth, briefly opening her mouth wide for him.
More.
His hand dropped to his side and he knew his expression must betray absolute pain for her to smile down on him so . . . sympathetically.
MORE.
Holly's green eyes sparkled in the firelight, he kept her gaze steadily. He resisted the instinct to dip into her mind.
Seconds slipped by.
"You may go to bed, Holly."
"Sir." She hesitated. "I wanted to ask you something."
His insides were howling.
He grunted in reply.
"Why do you think I can't remember the dreams?"
Severus took a moment before answering. "I will have to read more before I can hypothesize. They have been hidden by dark magic; I can ascertain you that."
Taken aback, she stared at him.
Severus swallowed and rose slowly from his seat, pushing past her. He moved to his cupboard and produced from a neatly labelled box lined with straw.
"Dreamless Sleep." He offered her the box. Holly took out a vial with two fingers.
"You have to take half of it every night before you go to bed. Do not go to sleep without taking the dosage." He stressed the last sentence through clenched teeth.
"Drink it now. Please." He did not recognize the rasping sound coming from his mouth.
Holly gave him a small smile before popping cork, gulping down half before wiping her lips with the back of her hand.
"Thank you, Professor. . . See you tomorrow." She said.
Then she was gone and his office was cold and empty again, the drone of rain lashing at the surface of the Lake filling his ears.
A/N I've been listening to the HP soundtracks and writing all over Easter weekend, hope you have as much fun reading as I had writing. RR, friends!