Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.
I'm sorry about the confusion regarding chapter two. I meant to replace chapter one because I accidentally posted my rough draft, not the finished product. It's basically the same, just tweaked a bit. Thank you for understanding!
Chapter Two: Do Better
Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks played at medium volume, enveloping me in her raspy voice. I swayed my hips, singing along, flipping the pork chops over in the pan, as I added a little more onion powder to them. They were just about done. The water in the pot started to boil so I quickly added the macaroni. I was really getting into the beat of the music when I heard giggling coming from behind me. I turned and smiled down at Maisy as she watched me with a silly grin on her face. She shook her little butt, her hands balled up in front of her.
She was so dang cute.
"Get it, girlfriend," I laughed before turning back to the stove. I turned down the burner as the oil on the pan started to pop a bit too much.
"What you making, Momma?" Connor came bounding into the kitchen with that same heart-melting smile that I loved so much. He had his Hulk action figure clutched to his chest and his Iron Man action figure sticking out of his pants pocket.
"Pork chops and mac and cheese," I told him with a short nod.
Connor went over to his little sister. He took her hands in his own and started to shimmy and shake with her. My kids were having a good day, and that meant I was having a good day. I made sure we had a good night and maybe that was the key to a good day. For a while, I forgot how to have a good family night without Mike. I changed that last night after my babies were both dealing with the reappearance of their father in dramatically different ways. We watched classic Disney for hours with popcorn and candy. It seemed to do the trick. Spirits were high today.
My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I turned the burners off and grabbed my phone. A number and area code I didn't recognize lit up my screen. My brows scrunched as I contemplated if I should answer it or not. What if it was a scam call? The call ended before I could make up my mind. I shrugged and set my phone on the counter. If it was important, they'd leave a voicemail. I grabbed the pot and a colander, sticking the colander over the top, and emptying the steaming water into the sink. I went about mixing the cheese, milk, and butter into the macaroni.
"I can set the table, Momma," Connor offered, coming up next to me. He tugged on my shirt to get my attention.
"Can you be very careful?" I asked him as I pulled down three plates and three cups.
He nodded emphatically, a large smile on his face. I handed him the plates first and watched as he took very deliberate steps over to the kitchen table. It took him about a minute to make it there. The sheer pride on his face, when he set them all down without a hitch, made me laugh.
"Good job," I clapped supportively, "Now the hard part." I held up the cups, one glass, and two plastics. He took them from my hands one at a time, tucking them under his arm. This time, he walked quicker, more sure of himself.
Maisy came up to me with a pout on her face. "I help too?"
I went to the silverware drawer, grabbed the plastic forks, and handed them to her. I was glad I went with all plastic because she took off at a sprint toward the table, tripping just before getting there. I cringed and started to walk over to her, but stopped when she stood up.
"I okay," she giggled.
Maisy set one fork by each plate and then settled into one of the seats. Connor did the same.
I filled a bowl with the mac and cheese, set the pork chops on a large plate, and joined my kids at the table. I set everything down and then started dishing out our dinner. I would usually have a vegetable to go with dinner, but I was in desperate need of a grocery shopping trip. I made sure their meat was cut into bites they couldn't choke on and then took my seat at the head of the table with my babies on either side of me.
I filled our cups with the sweat tea that sat on the table, and with music playing in the background, my kids and I had a good dinner, talking about our day. Connor made a new friend at kindergarten, Maisy finger painted at Head Start, and I got my second graders to understand math. Kind of.
"Full," Maisy announced half an hour into dinner, rubbing circles on her tummy. She was kneeling on the chair – she refused the highchair – and bounced in place. "Shrek?" she asked hopefully.
Connor groaned. "We always watch Shrek. I want to watch Pretty Little Liars."
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Who let you watch that?" I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Grandma," he stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Of course, my mother would let him watch that. I grew up watching whatever my mom watched and none of it was ever age-appropriate. I knew what losing your virginity meant before I started elementary school.
"I'll have to have a talk with your grandma, then, huh? Because that show is not something you should be watching at your age."
His mouth pressed into a hard line, his cheeks tinged pink. I could see a meltdown coming and racked my brain for a solution before the storm hit. Connor was a very well-behaved kid, but when he was mad, he could bring the world to its knees.
"How about we build a fort and I'll read you guys a story in it? We can sleep in there and everything."
Both of their faces lit up and I gave myself a mental high five. Crisis averted. An hour later, we found ourselves tucked into a massive fort in the living room made of pillows, blankets, and sheets. The TV allowed enough light to stream into the fort for me to be able to read. Maisy and Connor laid on either side of me, their arms thrown over my stomach, their heads on my chest.
Maisy was fast asleep after the first chapter, but Connor was fighting it. Every time I thought he was sleeping, I would start to put the book down, only for him to lift his head and say, "And then what happened?" I was on the last page when Connor's soft snores met my grateful ears.
I closed the book and sighed, stretching my stiff arms. They protested and popped from the movement. I didn't think I would actually have to finish an entire Goosebumps book, but my kids loved to prove me wrong. I set the book next to Maisy, wrapped my arms around my babies, and allowed my heavy eyes to close.
With my kids next to me, I slept better than I had in months.
"Don't forget to give your parents your field trip permission slips! And remind them we need volunteers!" I yelled over the hustle and bustle of my second-grade class as they all clambered to get their backpacks from the backroom, eager to get home.
"Mrs. Newton!" Amber, a cute little blond came running up to me with her slip in two pieces and tears running down her cheeks.
"Oh, what happened?" I knelt down to her eye level, holding my arms out for her. She stopped in front of me, her breath coming in huffs of frustration, smelling heavily of the Jolly Ranchers I handed out earlier in the day.
"Timmy ripped my paper. I can't go now!" she wailed on the verge of a panic attack.
I patted her arms, rubbing soothing patterns up and down until she started to calm down. I took the tattered slip from her hands and stood up. I tossed it in the trash bin by my desk. Grabbing an extra off my desk, I lifted her golden braid gently to get her attention. "Hey, I have another. You can, of course, still go."
She took the slip from my hands, smiling up at me gratefully, snuffing back her tears. I sent her off to get in line and went in search of Timmy. My little class troublemaker. I found him trying to look innocent, tucked in the middle of the line by the door. I crossed my arms over my chest as I approached him, putting on my best-disappointed teacher look.
"Timmy. Did you rip Amber's permission slip?"
His big blue eyes peered up at me, "No, Mrs. Newton. She's lying! I double promise."
"Now, why would she lie about something like that?"
"He did do it, I saw him!" Gabriel chimed in from the front of the line followed by a bunch of affirmations directed at us. Timmy's cheeks flooded red, his face going dour.
"Snitches!" He sneered angrily, stomping his foot so hard that the lights on the bottom of his shoe went off.
I shook my head, "You get a mark next to your name. That's two this year already. One more and I'm calling your parents. Understand?"
He nodded glumly, his cheeks puffing out in annoyance. I went to the front of the line and led my students out in a single file to the exit doors, watching them get on the bus and get picked up by their parents. Once all of my students were safely out of sight, I walked to the main office to check my mailbox before heading home for the day.
There were a few announcements in there. I shuffled through them quickly, nothing of importance or anything that I didn't already know. Angela, the principal's assistant, came from behind the desk with a smile on her face, her very round tummy being the center focus. She was ready to pop her child out any day now and was still working. You had to admire that kind of commitment.
"Bella," she smiled, "I'm glad you came in here. It saves me from having to write an email."
"What's going on?"
"Just letting you know you have another student starting next week. A miss Lena Cullen."
My eyebrows shot up, "Oh, really? That's great! I'll be seeing the Cullen's this weekend."
"Oh, you know them?" she asked, surprised.
"Yes, Lena's aunt was my best friend growing up. They're wonderful people," I smiled fondly.
"I noticed," she smiled. "Mr. Cullen is quite the looker if I do say so myself."
"I'm telling Ben," I mock-threatened, waggling my finger at her.
She giggled and her warm caramel cheeks flushed a slight pink, "I don't think even my husband would hold that against me. The man looks like a model," she sighed batting her lashes dramatically.
I snickered and waved goodbye to her, heading back to my class to gather my things. I checked the class roster on my laptop and sure enough, Lena Cullen had been added. I clicked on her name, getting her details memorized. I knew that she would be in second grade but didn't think she would be placed in my class.
It was a welcome surprise.
With my laptop bag and purse slung over my shoulder, I headed out to my car. Once inside, I checked the time. My mom would have already picked the kids up from their schools and she hated when I grabbed them right after I got off work, claiming that I was depriving her of spending quality time with her grandbabies. So I sat in my car in the parking lot, dilly-dallying on my phone.
I went onto Facebook, something I rarely did these days. I had quite a few unopened messages on there. I wasn't on social media much thanks to seeing my ex-husband posting pictures of himself and that bitch. Clicking on the messenger app, I was surprised to see the top message was from Alice. I quickly opened it.
Hey, Bella! I know my mom spoke to your mom, but I wasn't sure if you knew yet that I'm in town. We just got here early this morning. I'd love to catch up with you. Are you coming to the barbeque this weekend? I know the weather kind of sucks for an outdoor party, but you know how my dad is. If he has an excuse to grill, then nobody can stop him, lol. Anyway, I want to see you before then, if you're down for that. Please say YES!
The smile on my face grew with every word I read. Hearing from Alice took me back in time, to when things were so simple. Knowing that she thought of me on her first day back warmed my heart. Maybe things would turn out better than I thought.
I always was a worrier.
I thought for a second before typing out my reply.
You have no idea how glad I am to hear from you. Yes, I'll be going to the barbeque, I wouldn't miss it for the world! And yes, I would love to see you. Name a time and place and I'll be there!
I pressed send and then clicked on her profile. Her last post was a picture of herself and a very attractive blond man. He was driving and she was smiling into the camera. The caption read, "Homebound."
I love reacted to it and then put my phone on the passenger seat and started my car. Before I could back out of the parking lot, my messenger dinged. I put the car back in park and grabbed it quickly. It was a message from Alice.
That was fast.
Now? The park?
I grinned, answering in the affirmative. Then I dialed my mom's number. She answered on the second ring.
"You can't have them back yet," she said before I could get a word in, "We're busy."
I laughed, "I was actually calling to see if you'd keep them a bit longer so I can go meet Alice."
"That's wonderful," Mom sighed happily, "Of course, I'll keep them. You know I love spending time with them – Maisy you get your little booty off the table before I take a wooden spoon to it – it's no problem."
I shook my head, laughing. I could hear Maisy giggling in the background and then a crash and her little "oopsie".
"I have to go," Mom said offhandedly. "Have a great time!"
She hung up before I could say anything else. I rolled my eyes and put the car in reverse, backing out and heading onto the road. It took me less than ten minutes to make it to the park. It wasn't a park meant for playing, more for enjoying the rare, nice weather. There were trails, a pond, and more trees than you could realistically count. I knew this was the park she meant because it was where we hung out every chance we got when we were teenagers. As soon as I pulled in, I saw her. She sat underneath the tree closest to the pond – our spot.
My hands were sweating and shaking, a nervousness was building inside of me. I was fine until I saw her. I was okay until reality hit. I wasn't so much ashamed of my life, but I couldn't help but compare her life to mine. Would she think my life was boring? She was all big-city living, partying every night, popping bottles on weekdays for fun. I was... not. Not even close.
But then I remembered that it was Alice. The least judgmental person I had ever met.
I took a few deep breaths in through my nose, letting them slowly out through my mouth. I did that until I stopped feeling like I was going to faint and then hopped out of my car and headed over to Alice. She sat with her legs crossed at the ankles on a thin red piece of fabric, big enough for two, her eyes on her phone, a small smile playing on her dark red lips. She didn't see me approaching so I took the time to look at her and take in how much she had changed over the years. She had matured so much. Her once scrawny frame was now filled out and voluptuous. Her ample chest was encased in a tight grey knit sweater dress, her legs covered by dark nylons. A pair of ridiculously high and shiny black pumps sat next to her.
I looked down at my own clothing and grimaced. I wore a simple white cardigan with a powder blue tank underneath and tan straight-leg trousers. My shoes were simple and nondescript. I hated that I compared myself to her. I wasn't hatefully jealous – of course not. Kindly envious seemed the better phrase.
A stick snapped under my shoe and Alice's dark green eyes popped up and met mine. The brightest smile lit up her doll-like face and she stood up, jumping in place and clapping her hands together.
"Oh, my God. Oh, my God. OhmyGod!" she squealed, taking me into her arms when I finally made it to her. For such a little thing, she was quite strong, crushing my waist between her arms, she spun us in circles until I lost my footing, and we tumbled down onto the blanket.
"Oww," I giggled, her excitement contagious, making my worries disappear.
"Sorry!" she grinned at me, pulling me into a sitting position. We sat there and stared for a few seconds before I broke the silence.
"It's so good to see you," I breathed.
"Same! I cannot believe I'm seeing you in the flesh right now. I was so worried you wouldn't want to meet with me. I didn't think you would, honestly, and then my mom was like, well, just ask her, and I was like, what if she says no, and she was like, why would she say no, and I was like because we kind of lost contact over the years, which really sucked and I'm so sorry about that, I don't even know how it happened, but here you are, right in front of me, and you look amazing, oh, my goodness, I can't even believe this right now!"
I stared wide-eyed at her. The girl didn't take one breath until she was done speaking. After a few seconds, I was able to compute the words she had spoken, my brain lagging like an old desktop computer with too many viruses caused by LimeWire.
"Of course, I would want to see you, Alice. I missed you so much. And I'm sorry that we lost contact. I feel like that was my fault," I admitted sheepishly.
She shook her head, "It takes two to tango, girly. We both stopped reaching out."
I nodded and smiled at her, "You look amazing, by the way."
"Me? You look like a porcelain doll. You have really grown into your features."
"Hey," I laughed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
She chuckled, "I just mean that you've filled out nicely."
"Mmhmm, I'll take the compliment," I mock-glared at her.
"Oh, that's new," she held her hands up in front of her mouth, gasping dramatically. "Bella Swan takes a compliment?"
"Technically, it's Bella Newton," I grimaced, bringing the mood down.
Alice's smile dropped, her eyes searching mine. "How are you doing, girl? With everything? I really wanted to reach out when I heard about the divorce, but we hadn't talked in so long, I didn't want you thinking I was just being nosey."
"I wouldn't have ever thought that," I assured her. "But… I'm…" I struggled for the right words, "dealing the best that I can, I guess. It's hard, you know? Especially for my kids. They're so confused, and it hurts me to see them like that."
My hand started twisting and pulling at a loose thread on my pants. Alice stopped the motion, covering my hand with her own, "May I ask what happened?"
I could feel the tears stinging my eyes and looked away, focusing on the trails and the people emerging from the trees with water bottles in their hands. "He cheated and then he left." I shrugged my shoulders.
Simple as that.
Her hand tightened around mine and she pulled on it until my eyes met hers. She reached over and thumbed away the tear that escaped down my cheek. "I always hated that guy."
I laughed humorlessly, "Everyone did. Perhaps I should have listened to everyone when they said he wasn't a good person. But then I wouldn't have my babies." That thought alone reminded me that even though I was in pain, it was worth it.
Alice smiled wide, all of her shiny white teeth showing, the mood lifting back up at the mention of my kids, "Do I get to meet those babies?"
I nodded, swallowing back the lump in my throat, "They will be coming to the barbeque with me."
She let go of my hand and clapped excitedly. It was nice to see that Alice's personality hadn't changed that much over the years. She was still able to make me feel better just by being herself.
"That's great! And you get to meet my fiancé, Jasper, and Edward's daughter Lena. She's such a sweetheart."
"Lena actually just got added to my class," I informed her with a smile, "I'm looking forward to meeting her. And your fiancé, of course."
"Oh, that's excellent! I think getting to see you before going to your class will help her feel better. She's so nervous about starting at a new school. Edward feels awful for pulling her from her life back home, but there were too many reminders of his wife. It hurt him every day just to wake up in that bed without her."
I completely understood that feeling. Losing your partner, no matter how you lost them, was terrible. And waking up alone? That was a punch in the gut, every day.
"How's Edward coping?" I asked.
Alice shook her head sadly, "He's really not coping at all. He puts on a brave face for Lena, but I can see him struggling to keep himself together. He doesn't like to talk about it."
"I understand. Poor Edward," I sighed, "I hope that this change of scenery can help him somewhat. How's Lena doing?"
"She is just like her father," Alice grumbled unhappily. "They love to hold everything in until they explode and then rinse and repeat. But, please, let's talk about better things. I haven't seen you in forever!"
We sat there for an hour and a half, letting the sad subjects go while we caught each other up on other life events. The sun started to go down, and the chill in the air nipped at us until we were forced to say our goodbyes until the weekend. Alice promised we would see a lot of each other while she was here, and I hugged her tightly before walking her to her dark red Mazda.
By the time I made it to my parent's house, the lights inside were all dimmed. I opened the door, squinting into the darkness of the hallway.
"Hello?" I called but got no answer.
I walked into the living room and stopped when I heard a giggle come from my left. I looked over to the window and saw two little feet clad in pink, lacy socks, the owner tucked behind the curtain. I grinned and walked over, standing in front of it.
"Now, where's my little baby?" I wondered aloud.
She giggled again, the curtain swaying slightly from her movement. I stepped back and was about to open the curtain when I heard creaking floorboards behind me. I turned quickly, only to be met with nothing. Narrowing my eyes, I went to the middle of the room, standing near Dad's chair.
"I guess they disappeared on me," I let out an exaggerated sigh. "I suppose I'll have to go home and make cookies all by myself."
The curtain swung to the side and Maisy came running out. "Boo, Mommy!" she yelled, her hands out in front of her face like little claws.
I yelped and pretended to fall back on the chair. I put my hand to my heart, "You little devil. You scared me half to death."
She giggled evilly and then took off. I could hear her tiny footsteps padding up the stairs. I got up from the chair and went to follow her. Before I could make it to the first step, I was hit from the back, and that time, I really did scream in surprise, catching myself on the railing before face-planting into the stairs.
"Ha-ha," Connor poked his head between my legs. "Scared ya!"
"You little-,"
He took off up the stairs on all fours, moving quicker than I thought possible. I climbed up after him and followed the sound of a door slamming. I went into my old room, the lights were off and I couldn't see a thing, but I could hear muffled giggles coming from under the bed.
I turned the light on and then knelt in front of the bed and lifted the bed skirt so fast Connor and Maisy screamed, startled by the sudden movement. Connor had his hand over Maisy's mouth, his face was one of shock while Maisy looked like she was ready to pass out from laughter.
I grabbed onto their arms and gently pulled them out from under the bed.
"Where are your grandparents?" I asked, pulling them onto each of my hips and walking from the room.
Maisy put her finger up to her mouth and whispered, "Shh, they're sleeping."
"We put them down about an hour ago," Connor told me with a satisfied nod of his head.
I rolled my eyes and walked over to my parent's room, creaking the door open slowly, and sure enough, they were heaped onto their bed, snoring masses of exhaustion.
I left the door slightly ajar, set Connor down, and took his hand, walking to the stairs. Turning on the hall light, I found their shoes and helped Maisy put hers on while Connor sat on the floor slipping his on. I grabbed their backpacks, took their hands, and headed out the door, using my spare key to lock it.
I didn't know what my kids and their grandparents got into while I was with Alice, but my kids were all tuckered out by the time we got home. They lazily ate their dinner, Maisy almost passing out right in her mashed potatoes, nose first. They were barely out of their bath before falling in and out of sleep. I had to carry them to their beds one at a time, dressing them while they were in la la land.
I took my own shower, got dressed for bed, and laid down. I skimmed through Netflix, looking for something to fall asleep to. I hated the quiet that now encased my bedroom. I was so used to Mike's vocal sleeping that it took me forever to fall asleep these days. I decided on Shameless, putting it on low volume just in case a sex scene came on. I didn't need my kids to hear that if they woke up.
Flipping this way and that way, turning my pillow over and over, one leg in the blanket, one leg out, one side of the bed, the middle, then back to my side… it was never-ending. I hated to sleep alone. I couldn't get comfortable. Ever. It was really starting to piss me off.
I looked over at Mike's side of the bed, snuffing back the tears and sobs that wanted to break free. I couldn't keep crying over that man. It wasn't good for me and it wasn't good for my kids. I tried to stop the onslaught of memories, of the good times we had shared. I didn't know why my mind would focus on the good when there was so much bad to reminisce about. Maybe if I could focus on all the shitty things he did, I could stop crying, stop mourning the loss of my relationship, at least long enough to get some goddamn sleep.
My brain was a torture device, though. And it was set on destruction. It took me three hours to get to sleep, and it wasn't peaceful.
"Momma, wake up," a quiet voice whispered next to my face. I scrunched up my nose because the morning breath was strong with this one.
Opening my eyes, I was face to face with Connor. He was leaning half on the bed, his feet dangling over the side. I sat up and groaned, scrubbing at my face, feeling like I only got twenty minutes of sleep.
"You're sleeping too long, Momma," he said with a disapproving tone.
I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, squinting at the bright light. "Shit," I muttered, jumping out of bed. I was going to be late for work and my kids were going to be late for school.
I looked down at Connor, his expressive blue eyes peering up at me. "Sorry, buddy. My alarm didn't go off."
I ruffled his hair on my way to the bathroom. He followed close behind me.
"Yes, it did. A lot. I turned it off."
I glanced back at him. He stood at the door to the bathroom, and I noticed he was already dressed in dark jeans and his favorite Avengers shirt with a blue flannel thrown over it. He looked great except for his hair being styled in that godawful faux hawk.
"You look very handsome, baby."
He smiled proudly and nodded, "I dressed May-May, too!"
Uh-oh.
That worried me a bit. I had all the confidence in the world that Connor could dress himself, but not his sister. I imagined clashing colors and mismatched socks.
"Oh, really?" I hedged nervously, "Thank you, honey. Go brush your teeth, okay? I'm going to get ready."
He scurried off and I turned to the mirror. God, I looked like the living dead, complete with dark circles under my eyes and dried drool on my chin. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, applied minimal makeup, just enough to liven my face up, and then got dressed in a long skirt and sweater. When I left my room, I heard the kids downstairs in the kitchen. Walking in, I found them munching on granola bars.
Connor grinned at me. "I helped May-May brush her teeth, Momma."
I smiled at him, proud that he took the initiative, but also feeling bad that he felt he had to. Even though he looked very proud of himself, I didn't want that kind of responsibility on his shoulders. I needed to do better.
I discreetly looked over Maisy's outfit and was pleasantly surprised that she looked very cute in her pink knit sweater and black leggings. Her socks were pink as well, with white lace at the top. I went over to Connor and bent down, giving him a big hug.
I kissed him on the cheek, "Good job, buddy." Then turned to Maisy to hug her as well so she didn't feel left out.
I called the school to let them know I would be a little late and then we got our shoes on, grabbed our essentials, and then headed out. I dropped Connor off first and then Maisy, making it to work five minutes late. It wasn't very late, but it was the latest I had ever been to work. I ran into my class and relieved Angela, thanking her for watching over my students.
She only smiled and waved me off stating that it wasn't a big deal.
I knew from the very second I walked in, feeling dead tired and hearing my class all talk over each other, rambunctious as ever, that I was in for a very long day. It was only Wednesday and I couldn't wait for the weekend.
Edward will be in the next chapter!