Hermione stared up at the underside of her 4 poster canopy. She was quietly thinking over what to do. She mulled over the events of the previous night. She had spent a lot of time with Ron Weasley over the years and was wracking her brains considering if she'd ever experienced a moment as tender as last night with him. She thought not. There had been something strangely intimate about his offer to her. Maybe she was overthinking it all…strike that she knew she was overthinking it all. Even in the moment she knew she'd be distracted for weeks overthinking it.
She was considering what to do. She would love to see him again tonight. She'd pretty much spent all day with him but that had been with Harry too. The day had been spent safely and definitely as best friends only. She longed to spend time with him again, privately in the dark where the lines between friendship and more seemed to blur.
If she went down and he wasn't there she would feel dejected, not that they'd made any arrangement but she'd still surely feel rubbish. If she went down and he was there what would they say to one another? They hadn't spoken about it all day, nearly like it hadn't happened. Maybe he was embarrassed or maybe it didn't mean anything to him and it wasn't worth mentioning in conversation.
She sighed. What if she didn't go down but he did. What if Ron actually fancied her and she didn't show up for this unplanned date? Hermione knew this scenario was overly optimistic. Nonetheless, ultimately she needed to know if he was motivated out of bed to see her and she couldn't stand the not knowing.
She really hoped he would find her tonight. She grabbed her hot water bottle and left the dormitory. She didn't bother lifting a book, if he didn't show up she'd return to bed, if he did she hoped she wouldn't need a book.
As she descended the last few stairs she could see him sitting at the sofa, in the same spot as last night. Her heart jumped for joy. He was here, he had to have come in the hopes of seeing her. Hadn't he? Don't get ahead of yourself Hermione. Breathe.
There was no one else in the common room, the fire was burning, basking everything in a warm amber glow. She walked around the sofa and stopped dead. He was sleeping. He looked so handsome, so peaceful, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. She took the opportunity to stare at him in the flickering light. He had the most beautiful…everything…His lips were so full, his jawline so strong, his face was so relaxed and peaceful. There were little lines on his skin where his smile had created little crinkles around the edges of his cheeks and eyes. A testament to how much time he spent laughing and smiling.
Hermione longed to snuggle in beside him, nuzzle into his neck and wrap his arm around her. She'd happily stay on the sofa all night even if it meant not getting a wink of sleep. She flushed at the thought. Minutes passed by and eventually she pulled herself out of the daydream. She realised she was being weird. It's simply not normal for a person to stand watching another person sleep.
"Ron, are you awake?" she whispered trying not to startle him. Still it made him jump.
"Bloody hell Hermione, sorry I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?" He spluttered, she smiled, he looked so adorable gathering himself.
"About half 11, what are you doing down here?" she couldn't resist teasing him.
"I errrr, I couldn't…" she knew he'd try to lie, he was groggy and his brain obviously hadn't woken up.
"Don't you dare say you couldn't sleep Ron Weasley…I just caught you sleeping. You should be in bed!" she couldn't help giggling.
"I came down to check on you, in case you were up again tonight…sore, you know?"
Oh wow, that caught her off guard. She'd hoped he wanted to see her but neither of them ever really admitted their feelings for one another. Gosh he had matured recently.
"Really? That's incredibly sweet of you." he deserved acknowledgement she thought and smiled as his red started to turn red.
"I guess I was right though. If you're up? You're still uncomfortable?" He looked genuinely interested in her answer.
It warmed her to think he was concerned for her. It made more sense to her that he was worried about her wellbeing rather than simply wanting to spend time with her. She was also surprised that he knew women could be suffering for a few days. Anyhow, finding him here on the sofa tonight whatever his reasoning made her very happy. She felt wonderful actually and the cramps weren't nearly as bad as the previous night.
Energised she hopped onto the sofa right beside him and settled crossed legged facing him cuddling her hot water bottle low on her abdomen.
"I'm not feeling too bad, I was also wondering if you were up late again and thought I'd better come down and see. I made a hot water bottle but don't really need it right now. Want to try it out? It's lovely." she knew she was babbling. He admitted he'd come down to see her and deserved to know she'd done the same specifically to see him. She wanted to tell him properly but her words were coming out a bit too quickly and surprisingly quietly.
"Yeah sure, what do I do?"
"Do you have anything sore?" he'd been so lovely to her it was her turn to be considerate.
"Yeah actually…my necks been killing me since Quidditch this morning. I jerked it, dodging a bludger. Meant to rub some potion on the left side but didn't get round to it yet." She watched mesmerised as he reached up to rub his neck exposing skin she longed to kiss. She snapped out of it when he removed his hand and his jumper covered it up again. Her happiness emboldened her.
"Ok, well this isn't instant like the potion but it'll help." She leaned forward and lifted onto her knees. She reached for the bottom of his knitted jumper and ran her thumb over the hem, it was so soft and warm from his body heat. He seemed confused by her actions and for a moment she panicked that he was going to resist or ask her what the hell she was doing. The feeling was fleeting as he eventually raised his arms. She pulled the jumper over his head.
She was feeling decidedly naughty and leaned forward knowing full well she was pushing her chest forward to his face. She sought out that piece of skin he'd shown her a moment ago and pulled his t-shirt aside. She couldn't resist running her hand over his flesh and was excited to see goose bumps appear on his body. Much to her disappointment he didn't move, he didn't run his hands up her body or kiss her chest. Placing the bottle, she retreated.
He returned her smile but shifted in his seat. Maybe he had noticed her attempt at being enticing, he was certainly covering his groin and looking a bit sheepish. The thought excited her.
"What do you think?"
"It feels great"
"Good" she was pleased with herself introducing him to a muggle contraption. She didn't know what to say so they fell into a comfortable silence.
"Yeah, I was thinking … It was really nice to spend time with you last night. It's rare we're ever alone together."
Wow…
"I was thinking the same today" obsessing…all day… she thought to herself.
"I umm, I really missed spending time with you when we fell out and not just because I had to do my own homework."
Hermione swotted his arm and found herself giggling again, how embarrassing. She didn't like to be reduced into a silly school girl stereotype but with him she just seemed to melt into another version of herself.
"I know what you mean, I missed you too. I can't believe we didn't speak for months. But now it feels like it never happened, does that make sense? I kinda snuck down here hoping to see you too." Now it was her turn to be embarrassed…she couldn't meet his gaze.
"I'm umm, really very sorry for our falling out. It all kinda spiralled and I didn't know how to make it right." He sounded genuine.
Nooo she thought let's not do this. Not tonight. She wanted to have fun not go over the arguments or fights.
"Ron, stop, you don't need to apologise."
"Course I do. I was a prat…I was a prat, Hermione. I was inconsiderate and selfish, driven by my own insecurities."
Maybe he needed to get this off his chest. Besides this piqued her curiosity.
"How do you mean?"
Ron sighed. "I don't want to make excuses but I had a fight with Ginny and she told me about you and Krum and I didn't handle it very well. When Lavender gave me attention I just got caught up in it…. even though it wasn't what I wanted."
Hermione took a second to process all he'd just said. What the hell did Ginny say? Why had she lied? What did Ron want…? She was dying to ask him but was too afraid to hear what the answer might be. Deflect Hermione, deflect.
"What do you mean with Krum?" she heard herself say
"That yous had snogged."
"We did not" She was absolutely indignant.
"I'm sorry, what?" he seemed surprised but her blunt response
"We did not" She repeated slowly and firmly.
"Ginny said…"
"Define snog" she interrupted, she'd heard enough. So Ginny had been winding up her brother and he fell for it. Hook, line and sinker. For goodness sake. It's true Krum had made a pass at her, she'd politely pecked him a few times on the cheek or lips but not a proper snog. Nothing like what she'd witnessed between other couples like Ron and Lavender or Ginny and Dean for example.
"Tongues"
"We never did that. There were a few kisses, pecks really, but never tongues" this is mortifying, she knew she shouldn't have to explain herself to anyone but for some stupid reason she felt the need to put Ron straight.
"Bloody hell. Ginny told me I was the only one who'd not snogged someone and it made me feel. I dunno what it made me feel, stupid, embarrassed, unwanted."
Hermione's heart clenched. This was the reason…this was why she felt the need to explain herself. Why did he always feel so unwanted? He wasn't unwanted, he'd so many people who cared for him, friends and family plus she wanted him. In every sense of the word She'd have loved to snog him. She wanted him to snog her, to be her first proper kiss. She felt sad that he thought this of himself and was angry at Ginny. She'd betrayed her trust and used it to hurt Ron by elaborating wildly.
"Oh Ron. I'm sorry. I will be having words with your little sister. When did this happen?"
"The night before the Quidditch match. The night before Lavender."
Oh Gods. Well things are starting to make some sense now.
"So that's why...there's been so many silly misunderstandings between us. I wish you'd just spoken to me. I really did want to go to Slughorn's party with you. I want you to know that." She hoped he would listen to what she was saying but she was losing her nerve with this confession and couldn't meet his eye.
"At the time I thought it was a pity invite. Sorry I'm such an idiot. I wish it had been different and we'd went together"
His blue eyes met hers and he gave her the loveliest smile which reassured her. He had wanted to go to the party with her then…how had this all become so complicated. It should have been so simple.
"Me too…but look it's over with now and we can't change the past. We're friends again now right? It's that the important thing?" What's done is done and she knew it wouldn't do to dwell on their past choices. At worst she wanted to go back to best friends, at best she wanted more. Best friends was better than nothing. She couldn't go back to not speaking for months.
"Yeah, friends" she was glad he could agree. This was a good starting point.
"Let me take this off you, I don't want it getting too hot and burning you."
Hermione rose up onto her knees again and made a show of removing the hot water bottle. His skin was pink and hot where she'd placed it and she couldn't help but touch it.
"Does it feel any better?"
"Yeah loads, it feels looser" he stretched his neck from side to side, she wanted to lean in and suck on it. Maybe leave a love bite, marking him as hers, now that would look sexy against his pale skin. Hermione actually shocked herself with these thoughts. She felt bold.
"Do you want me to rub it?" she blurted it out. What had she just offered to do? She didn't know how to give a massage. And he looked shell shocked. She cringed for a moment hoping he'd say yes so she could touch him but hoping he'd say no so she didn't embarrass herself further.
"Umm yeah sure" so it's a yes then she thought. Well sod it, might as well make the most of it.
"OK, ahmm, sit on the ground between my legs and lean back on the sofa." she ordered
She turned to sit properly on the sofa but opened her legs wide. It felt oddly sexual even though there was nothing going on. She'd never sit like this normally. Ron sat on the floor in front of her in between her knees. Thoughts of him turning to face her, kissing her while she wrapped her legs around his waist flooded her mind. Focus Hermione. Just do what you've seen in the movies.
She stroked her small hands over the tops of his shoulders, her fingers towards his chest and thumbs massaging the tender neck muscles.
Ron seemed to let out a little moan, he must be enjoying this she thought.
"You're amazing" definitely enjoying it.
"Always the tone of surprise, Ronald."
"Thank you"
"You're very welcome. You did the same for me last night."
"Oh I see, you're just returning a favour"
"No I didn't mean it like that at all." Why does everything they say to one another turn into something else? Why does this feel awkward again.
"Sorry" he mumbled
She rolled her eyes at the back of his head.
"Shhh just relax and enjoy it. Close your eyes'' she decided this conversation needed to end. She felt confident in her position hoovering above him, feeling in control.
She studied the back of Ron's neck. She continued to apply gentle pressure, feeling along the muscle connecting his neck and shoulders. She wasn't sure if she'd get the chance to do this again anytime soon so she went slowly. She decided to take the opportunity to explore a little bit, see how far she could go before he stopped her.
The next natural thing to do was to move her thumbs higher up the back of his neck. His hair tickled her hands. He dropped his head towards his own chest and she smiled, knowing he was silently giving her permission. She had spent many hours daydreaming about Ron Weasley. In pretty much every fantasy she would be running her hands through his red hair. She was mesmerised watching her fingers brush through his hair and surprised to feel a warm tingle in her lower tummy.
After she'd had her fill of combing his hair she reached around the side of his head and pressed on his temples. Going on instinct she rubbed behind his ears and pulled very gently on his earlobes. Ron made an appreciative noise and she was thrilled.
In a moment of bravery, she moved from his ears along his jawline. She'd always wanted to rub her soft hand along his rough stubble. It was coarse and scratchy. She wanted to feel it against her face, her lips, her tongue. She cupped his chin and pulled it up. His head lolled back onto her exposing his throat. His eyes were closed and she could see his long lashes fanned on his cheeks. He looked gorgeous.
Her desire to kiss his exposed Adam's apple was too much. Lost in the moment she rubbed her hands down his throat. He gulped. A shock ran down the length of her body straight to between her legs. She wanted to run her hands over every inch of him.
Pressing against him she reached down his chest. Her breasts pressed against the back of his head and it excited her. She could feel the hard planes of his chest, when she couldn't reach any further she slid her hand back up as slowly as possible. Purposely running over his nipples. She wished she'd asked him to remove his t-shirt. Now that really was going too far. There was a little voice in the back of her mind asking her what the heck she was doing…she told it to shut up and returned her attention to this moment.
Looking down she could see his arms crossed over his groin. She was curious to know if he was affected by her touch. Surely they were teetering right on the edge of the friend zone. She hadn't experienced anything like this with anyone else, ever. She wanted to stay here all night rubbing him, exploring his body.
After a few strokes using her thumb on his sore neck again she moved her hands wide and followed the curve of his shoulders and arms as far as she could go, cupping his elbows in her hands. She'd always wanted to feel his strong arms. She couldn't stop herself from giving his biceps a little squeeze on the way past, he tensed making the muscles firm. Gods, they were so…what was the word…solid. Those hours spent on a broom weren't wasted effort. She wanted him to wrap them around her body. She was almost panting with lust now and a groan escaped from her mouth.
If he heard it he didn't say anything. She noticed his own chest was rising and falling, an indication he was breathing heavily too. Returning to the starting position she pushed aside the neckline of his t-shirt and rubbed his skin directly. His skin was so warm it felt like his energy was transferring into her hands and up her arms.
As she finished there was a long pause. Reality seemed to invade her and bring her back to her senses. Desperately trying to resist for she knew she'd have to face the fact she'd just inappropriately touched her best friend. He hadn't stopped her but was he just being polite? What if he'd hated it and couldn't wait to escape? What if she wasn't any good at massages? She should have stuck to a quick neck rub but hadn't been able to resist. It had been worth it though. He probably thought she was mental. She hadn't even stopped to check if it was ok.
"Was that OK?" She whispered anxiously
"Bloody amazing, thank you." she smiled and sighed with relief.
"Good…I've never attempted to give a massage before" she thought it was best to admit it. In case it had been rubbish, in the hopes he wouldn't judge her too harshly.
"Well you're a natural…to be honest I've never been touched like that before."
What? He'd had a proper girlfriend for months surely they had spent time intimately? If he'd been her boyfriend she'd have touched every part of him. For goodness sake they were only best friends and she was rubbing her hands all over him.
She noticed his tented pyjamas as he crawled up onto the sofa then leaned forward to hide it. She was pleased to think she might actually have caused his problem. Or maybe all men got excited being massaged, irrelevant of the masseur. She wished she knew more about these things. Maybe Harry would explain it all for her. Merlin, what was she thinking, there's no way she could confide in Harry, he'd either suss out her feelings towards Ron or tell him of the conversation. No way that was happening. Surely there is a book that would explain it all. Unlikely…what would it be called…Is your best friend interested in you and how to seduce them. Ha, yeah right. OK focus, ignore the possible erection. What had he just said?
"Really? I…umm…I…I…never mind." She babbled, losing her nerve with a sigh. Why was this so difficult?! She could rub her hands over his chest but not ask him if he'd shagged his last girlfriend. Those are the exact sorts of things best friends would gossip about. She supposed it was so difficult as she had an ulterior motive. She wasn't just interested in inane gossip. She actually wanted him for herself.
"No, go on. Please." he begged
Here goes nothing….
"I assumed you and Lavender would have…done stuff like that" she stammered. She knew her cheeks were going red and she couldn't look at him. He looked quite shocked. Like he knew there was more in the question.
"Umm no, we never got further than snogging and a bit of groping…over the clothes groping."
Wow. She hadn't snogged Krum and he hadn't had sex with Lavender, it was a night of interesting revelations. She wondered why he hadn't gone further with Lav-Lav and realised it really didn't matter. He was a virgin too? At least she couldn't think of anyone else he'd have lost it to. She wanted him to be her first…her first everything…snog, boyfriend, sex (the list went on). She wanted him to be the one to take her virginity (someday) and wanted him to be a novice too. It was a gift they could give each other. Wishful thinking.
She felt relief and gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. That was decidedly enough for tonight. Besides, there was a heavy weight burning between her legs and needed to be alone. She wondered if he needed the same.
"It's so late. We really should get to bed" she whispered.
"Yeah you're right. I'll see you for breakfast?"
"Of course"
They stood at the bottom of each dormitory staircase. She was hesitant, knowing it was time to retreat but sad for tonight to end and worried it might be the last time.
"Hermione, thank you, I really enjoyed this evening and yesterday."
"Me too Ron, we'll have to do it again sometime." She couldn't help but drop a hint, wishing she could make a firm plan to look forward to but not wanting to seem overly eager. "Sleep tight"
"Sleep tight Hermione."
Hermione smiled to herself as she entered the girl's dormitory. She quietly got into bed, closed the curtains and cast the muffliato charm. She thought of him as she touched herself and afterwards she dreamed of him.