"Did you hear what I said?"

I flinched, my eyes coming back into focus looking at Haldir once more. We had just reached Las garen in Ithilien.

Haldir took to explaining the situation slowly to me, feeding me small pieces of information and requesting small pieces because anything more than that would overwhelm me. He told me of the power my blood holds, of the different entities that are after it.

He hasn't kissed me again since a few days ago when I kissed him. I can't read him; I know he's hiding something from me. I cried most of the journey to Ithilien. Erildod was a magnificent steed, but he wasn't Fana. I rode behind Haldir the entire journey, hiding my tears with his cloak and gripping his waist while the wind hid my sobs, though I'm sure he still heard them he's an Elf.

"Did you hear what I said, Lurin?"

I blinked, looking down seeing Haldir standing on the forest floor with his hand extended to help me off the horse. There were towering trees that seemed to reach for the heavens all around us. Their branches formed a protective canopy above, filtering the sunlight into a soft, ethereal glow. The ground was covered with a gentle dusting of snow; it was not nearly as bad here as it was at home. Haldir took my lack of response as permission and gently guided me off the horse, his strong hand holding mine for support. As my feet touched the forest floor, I felt the coolness seep through the soles of my shoes, sending a shiver down my spine.

I pulled my cloak tighter around me, seeking warmth and comfort amidst the unfamiliar surroundings. It wasn't my cloak, but an extra Haldir had. Father had a new one made for me, but it didn't carry the same warmth or scent. When we began our journey father had given it to me and I shrugged it off. Haldir didn't react, I expected him to chastise me or make a snide comment but he didn't. He simply pulled the cloak around me tighter and helped me onto the horse wordlessly. Ever since Arien I seem to be far more sensitive to the cold. Haldir frowned looking down at me.

"Are you cold?"

I didn't respond. We were surrounded by woodelves, some hanging on branches within the canopy others standing a polite distance away. The elven sentinels stood silently, their presence both awe-inspiring and intimidating. Tall and graceful, they seemed to blend seamlessly with the natural beauty that surrounded them. Their eyes, timeless and wise, watched our every move, assessing us with a keen awareness. Uncle emerged out of the crowd of Elves as my knees began to quiver from the cold. Haldir withdrew his cloak and wrapped it around my shoulders on top of mine.

"Haldir, how was your journey?"

A squirrel perched on a nearby branch, its fluffy tail twitching with playful energy. A family of rabbits hopped cautiously closer, their noses wiggling inquisitively.

My teeth began to chatter, I leaned on the horse for support. Erildod huffed and sidestepped in clear annoyance causing me to fall to the ground. Fana wouldn't have done that. But Fana is dead. Haldir and Uncle switched to a dialect of Elvish I didn't speak both unaware I was now in the snow.

I watched the approaching animals smiling through my chattering teeth; it's been so long that a woodland creature approached me. The elves that stood nearby looked at me with curious wide eyes. Elves always fascinated me, or at least one in particular did. A delicate deer, its coat adorned with frost-kissed patterns, stepped gracefully forward from behind a tree and nuzzled against my leg.

I could feel its warmth against the cold, and leaned into the little fawn. Its gentle breath brushed against my cheek, a soft reminder of the shared existence we now inhabited. I reached out a hand, running my fingers along its velvety fur, feeling the life force coursing through its majestic form.

Snowflakes continued their graceful descent from the heavens, adorning the landscape with their delicate touch. Erildod huffed behind me and laid down folding his legs underneath him. One by one, the rabbits hopped towards me, their soft paws leaving delicate imprints in the powdery white. With a graceful leap, they nestled into my lap, just as the deer laid her wet nose in it.

My shivering grew my violent sitting in the snow despite all the body heat radiating from the animals, I jerked uncontrollably. My eyes grew heavy.

"What are you doing?!"

"You cannot do that anymore don't you understand! That's how they'll find you!"

Haldir yanked me up by the arm his voice was as cold as I felt. He sighed scooping me into one arm while shooing the animals with the other. I nuzzled into his chest closing my eyes as he carried me, he felt like sunshine something about him cured my coldness. The Elves spoke as Haldir walked past, their melodic voices echoed through the forest, as they spoke words of greeting in a language I couldn't quite comprehend.

I gripped onto his tunic as I felt us ascending. I didn't peek though knowing wherever we were going I would be safe. He kicked a door open with his foot, carrying me over the threshold and I felt an instant temperature difference. There was a fire going in the hearth as if in preparation for our arrival. I opened my eyes and peered up at Haldir who was already looking down at me as he navigated the dwelling. His brows were furrowed and he was frowning.

"Are you hungry?"

I didn't respond. I stared at him, he sighed carrying towards the bedroom and laying me down on the soft bed. The walls were adorned with intricate woodwork, depicting scenes from nature. The main living area was adorned with comfortable furnishings crafted from woven reeds and soft moss. The hearth crackled with a gentle fire, spreading warmth and comfort throughout the space. A small table, carved from a single tree trunk, stood near the window, inviting us to sit and enjoy the panoramic view of the surrounding forest.

The bedroom, tucked away in a corner of the treehouse, boasted a large, plush bed covered in soft furs. He hovered above me momentarily looking down at me as he laid me down. Then he stood and exited the room, shutting the door. My eyes shut again and when they opened back up I could hear Uncle and him speaking.

"You still haven't told her?!"

"She's a shell Legolas! She hasn't spoken to anyone in days; I can't throw that on her now."

"You need to tell her."

"Now isn't the time,"

"What are you so afraid of?"

I sneezed and heard the floorboards creak and the door opened once more. Uncle came in first followed by Haldir. "Oh my little Dreamer,"

I squeezed my eyes shut turning my head away from him, "what did she do to you?" he murmured as he sank into the mattress next to me. I frantically tried to scoot away from him, "you're frightening her!" Haldir's loud voice caused me to flinch.

This was our new normal, after our kiss it's as if all of the trauma hit at once. Everything scared me, everything set me off. I was let trembling staring at the far wall. My mind was a tempest of fragmented images and sensations, replaying the moments of danger and fear. The screams, the chaos, the overwhelming sense of helplessness—all etched into the deepest recesses of my being. The vivid nightmares still lingered, haunting my sleep and jolting me awake in cold sweats, my heart racing as if reliving the horrors anew.

I could feel it, whatever was changed in me, whatever lay dormant since I fed on her blood. I was scared.

"Get out, I'm not discussing this with you. "

I closed my eyes, attempting to find refuge in the darkness behind my eyelids. But even there, the images flickered like a twisted kaleidoscope. Faces, both familiar and unfamiliar, merged together in a haunting dance of fragmented recollections.

"Haldir, I know you're trying to protect her like Aragorn, but you're only hurting her."

I curled up on the bed, wrapping my arms tightly around myself, seeking comfort and security in my own embrace.

"He doesn't just want her Legolas, he wants our future child. That is why I cannot act, that is why she cannot know. That is why I cannot fault Aragorn."

A fire crept up the wall. The flames danced and swayed, their fiery tongues licking at the wooden canvas, painting ephemeral patterns that seemed to breathe with life. I knew it wasn't real. It was never real.

"It was cruel of the Valar to-" "That's enough, thank you for your hospitality Legolas."

A rush of heat surged through the room, and the crackling inferno filled the air with a suffocating scent of smoke. It's not real, it's not real. The tendrils of smoke began to curl and twirl, snaking their way towards me with an unsettling allure.

I coughed and sputtered, the acrid smoke invading my lungs with every breath. My eyes stung, their vision blurred by the haze that filled the room.

A gentle touch on my shoulder caused me to jump, and suddenly I was scooped up into his arms again and held against his chest. This was our new normal, he soothed me how one would a baby, rocking me gently while he hummed.

He wrapped the cloak around me tighter to swaddle me, leaning down and feeling my forehead with his cheek. Adrenaline surged through my veins, fueling my instinct to survive. I could taste the smoke; I could feel her burning touch. I tried to squirm away from him, but he held me still, all while looking down at me with those sad melancholic blue eyes.

"No!" I screamed, my voice choked with smoke. I flailed my arms, attempting to break free from the hold, he tensed. "Lurin, you spoke, Lurin I'm here." My movements were wild, desperate, but no match for his strong arms that held me to his chest. His voice, strained but steady, cut through the chaos, urging me to trust him. "I'm here to protect you," he shouted over the roar of the flames. "Please, trust me!" I stared blankly at him, watching as the flames disappeared into nothingness and the smoke cleared from the air. It wasn't real it was never real.

Gradually, the racing rhythm of my own heart began to synchronize with the cadence of his. "Please talk to me Lurin," His voice cracked as he adjusted his hold so my head now lay in the crook of his neck.

As I inhaled his familiar scent, a mixture of earthiness and the subtle hint of pine, I felt a wave of calm wash over me.

"I'm scared," I whimpered into his hair.

"What are you scared of?" he asked, his breath brushing against my ear.

The truth tumbled forth from within, unfiltered and raw. "Myself," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

It was the truth, whatever was done to me I could feel the change. I was scared. I was different.