Hey, happy Tuesday!

This is a tough one...

Thanks for all your comments! Can't wait to see what you think about this update.

I'll do my best to get you the next one soon!

Happy reading!

Xoxo,

Nina

"Well, this is me." She said as Ian parked his car in front of her place. "Thanks for tonight. I needed the laughs."

"I'm glad I could help." He looked out the window and then back at Kim. "This was fun, we should do it again."

"Yeah, sure." She wasn't too convinced and knew that she didn't sound convincing either, but she didn't really care, she had other things to worry about. "Good night, Ian."

"Good night." He unbuckled his seatbelt and didn't even wait for Kim to look at him when he pressed his lips together with hers. He tried to get their tongues to meet, but she denied it, pushing him away from her.

"Stop. What was that all about?" Now she sounded pissed.

"I can't stop thinking about what you said today."

"Exactly when did I tell you to kiss me?"

"That's not what I mean."

"Please tell me what you mean, because I think you completely misunderstood me. This is not what this dinner was about."

"You said that you wanted to remember, right? Well, let me help you do that." He reached for her lips again and briefly captured them. Kim was confused, overwhelmed and when she came to realize what was happening he pushed him away again.

"Wait Ian, what do you mean?"

"We dated Kim."

"What?"

"Yeah, that."

"Well, that's strange considering there's nothing about you or us together in my apartment, nobody mentioned you at all."

"That's because it was new."

"I can't deal with this right now. I need to go home."

"Maybe if I go home with you, we get a little more wine, and you let me kiss you properly you will remember what I'm talking about. And if it doesn't work out, at least we had some fun together." Hearing his words made her remember what Sylvie told her.

"You're kidding me, right? How stupid do you think I am. I can't believe this Ian." She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car slamming the door shut, so hard she thought she had broken the thing.

She got to her apartment and threw herself on the couch and cried for what felt like hours. She was confused and overwhelmed.

None of the scenarios she was picturing was good. If Ian was taking advantage of her, then he was an asshole and she was stupid and naive for falling for that stupid dinner plan and if he was telling the truth, then she was pathetic for going out with a douche bag like him. If what he said was true, then she didn't want her life back. She didn't want to remember.

Now she understood why Dr. Walker didn't want anyone telling her anything, because having the information was too much for her to handle.

This changed everything, now she thought about a million new possibilities. What if the life she was desperate to get back sucked? What if this was the best thing that could have happened to her?

She was lost in her own sorrows, she cried, and screamed and sobbed until she was too tired to keep going and fell asleep in her clothes wrapped in a blanket on her couch.

Adam was totally wasted. After dinner with his friend from the academy, he went to a random bar and drank until he couldn't remember anything anymore. At least that was his plan, but the image of Kim walking away with Ian was impossible to erase from his mind.

He was angry, furious. He knew it wasn't Kim's fault, but he couldn't help being so mad and devastated right now. He wanted to punch Ian so hard. He thought about pulling up his address and just show up at his place to break his jaw, but a part of him was afraid of what he could find. His heart was broken and he didn't know how much more it could take.

Once in his apartment he emptied the last bottle of scotch, not that his body could take any more alcohol, but he needed to do something and punching a wall wasn't an option because then he would have to explain the hole to Gracie, and if he was going through a lot Grace had a whole lot more on her plate.

He woke up to an annoying ringing and banging that was doing nothing to soothe his massive headache.

"Dude, open up!" Kev's voice echoed through the building and Adam had no choice but to drag himself to the door, or the neighbors were going to start to complain.

"What?" He growled at his friend as soon as he opened the door.

"Trey texted me, he said he was worried about you last night, and after calling you for like a thousand times I came to check up on you."

"Well, you can see me. I'm fine. Now leave me alone." Adam tried to shut the door but Kevin blocked it with his own hand and instead he walked into his place.

"Damn, man. It reeks in here. Did you puke on the floor or something?"

"If you're here to lecture me, then you can leave. And I don't even remember how I got here, so yeah, maybe there's puke in here somewhere."

"What happened dawg?"

"Where have you been for the past month or so, dude? What part did you miss?"

"You were fine the last time I saw you."

"Fine? You think I'm fine. Well, let me tell you something. The woman I'm in love with doesn't know who the fuck I am, there's this motherfucker who's dating her aparently and the worst part of it all, is that it's all my fucking fault. I should have never put her through that. I should have never asked her for help. It's all my fucking fault." His voice was louder and louder, if Kevin didn't know him any better he would think that he was about to hit him, but he was sure the only person Adam wanted to hit right now was Adam himself.

"Try to relax, man."

"Don't tell me to relax!" He walked a step closer only to shove Kev back, and he just stood there, becoming Adam's personal punching bag and receiving another angry push from his friend, only this time Kevin pulled him into a hug.

"I'm sorry man."

"I miss her. I miss her and it's all because of me."

"Stop, this is not on you."

"It is and you know it."

"It was an accident, you had no idea what was gonna happen, she had no idea either and she decided on her own to do what she did."

"She did it for Gracie and for the case, she did it for us." He couldn't control the tears, and was finding it difficult to breathe. "And that was because I told her too much about this, I involved her too much in the case, in my life. I ruined everything again and I don't know how to fix it."

"Dude, she was involved because she loves you and if she did that for both of you and Gracie, then what you do right now is keep fighting. Fight for her, for the both of you."

"I can't man." He confessed and let his body drop on the couch. "I can't take this anymore. Maybe what I'm doing is wrong, maybe I just need to walk away, for good."

"Do you really think that?"

"I don't know what to think any more. Maybe that's what we both need, a fresh start."

"You know Imma support whatever decision you make. But knowing you the way I do, I don't think you really mean it. I get it. You hurting. She is too, man."

"No you don't get it. She was out with Ian last night and apparently she was having the time of her life. It was like a fucking knife to the chest man."

"Bro, you don't even know the whole story. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Let's do something, go get a shower, I'll order some very greasy food and then we'll think together a way out of this. I'm not gonna let you quit, bro, not before you actually give it your all."

Adam nodded and bowed down his head, he was devastated but he knew his friend had a point and he was grateful to have him to lift up his pieces.

He walked to the bathroom and got in the shower. Hopefully the water would help wash away his pain.

Adam needed that, not the excruciating pain part, but the falling apart. He had to play the strong and centered role for Gracie's sake, when his soul and heart were devastated. This emotional outlet was long overdue and he was grateful that Kevin was there, always in his corner, helping him focus on what was truly important. And right now, the most important thing for Adam was Kim's well-being, making sure that everything she had done was not in vain. The most important thing was to keep fighting for them and trusting the love they had for each other. That had to bring her back.

Adam walked out of the bathroom feeling a little better, although his body felt as heavy as an airplane. Kevin was in the living room, the food was already in brown paper bags on the table and the television was on.

The house even smelled better. Kev had opened the windows to let some fresh air in, and he'd even mop the floors, cause even though there weren't signs of puke, the place reeked.

"How are you feeling?" Kev asked when he realized his friend was in the room with him.

"Better." Adam sat on the couch and took the glass of water and the aspirin that was waiting for him on the coffee table. "Thank you, man. You didn't have to do any of this."

"Adam, you're my brother and I have your back in and out of the job, just like I know you have mine."

"Last night, it was too real."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been thinking about the day in which everything would come back to normal, you know? I've held on to every tiny little detail that gave just a little bit of hope. But last night, I realized that this can go anywhere, she can choose to go anywhere and be with whoever she wants. I guess yesterday I realized that there is a chance that person could not be me."

"Bro…" Kevin tried to speak but Adam was opening up, deeply and honestly and he wasn't about to interrupt him.

"She changed my life, she taught me so much about myself, she makes me incredibly happy. I can't even imagine my life without her."

"You don't have to do that, man. Just hang in there a little bit longer, things will turn around. They have to, because you both deserve to be happy."

"From your mouth to God's ears."

The rest of the day they just did nothing, Kev stayed with Adam trying to lift up his spirits as much as he could and at least he kept him away from drowning in his own misery.

Kim woke up with red and swollen eyes from crying. Ian's words kept playing in her head and nothing she did stopped them. The worst part about it was that nothing about what he said felt right. Not that anything after the accident had been crystal clear to her, but nothing felt quite like this. The idea of having dated him was just wrong.

She was determined to do something about this. After getting dressed and making herself a coffee, she put her hair up in a bun and started to look for anything that would give her some kind of clue.

Up until this moment she hadn't thought about the fact that there were very little things laying around in the house. There had to be something more, knowing herself like she did, she was sure that she probably kept pictures, drawings, a journal, something.

Probably Sylvie could help her out, but telling her friend why she wanted all of this wasn't going to be fruitful. She wasn't going to be happy about Ian, she did warn Kim about him and she didn't really listen. And even though Kim was certain that Sylvie wasn't going to tell her anything, a part of her was scared that Ian was telling the truth. So this time, she was going to face this on her own.

She looked through everything she had, and nothing called her attention. When she opened her jewelry box, she went through everything, some new accessories, others she was familiar with like her charm bracelet. She grabbed it and examined every single one. The airplane Andrew had given her, the book she got when she graduated, her lucky heart, and then there was an R that she had never seen before, but just the sight of it made her heart shrink and her stomach turn.

What the hell did it mean? Ian didn't have a middle name and his last name was Connors, so there wasn't an evident link between them. The relief ran through her, lifting a weight off her shoulders.

She took a deep breath and put the bracelet back in the box before running her hands over her face.

This had to stop. Running behind her past was frustrating her, and crushing her down.

Her reality was different now, she didn't remember and she was going to embrace that and keep moving forward. There was no use in crying over what she lost, when she still had wonderful things to be thankful for. So she got a notepad out, her computer and started to look for courses to do while she wasn't working, something to keep her busy, that's exactly what she needed.

After a few hours Kim successfully enrolled in some workshops and had planned out a schedule for her weeks, including cooking, working out and studying. Everything else was going to come on its own. At least that's what she was hoping for.

Her phone buzzed and seeing Ian's name pop up was the last thing she wanted right now.

Honey, I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said it like that. I just wanted you to know that I'm not mad about your reaction. I forgive you.

Kim was perplexed. Was this guy serious? Sylvie was totally right, he was so full of shit. If what he was saying was true, if they were together, why did he treat her like that? When did she consider that behavior acceptable? This is not what she wanted for her, and right now she was going to take full advantage of her condition. She didn't remember him and she needed time to figure this out. If Ian truly cared for her, he would understand.

Hey, how is it going? Listen, I can't do this right now. I need time.

Time together, that's what we need. How about you come over for dinner tonight and we can sort things out. I know that I can make you remember the good times we had together.

Ian, I don't think you understand. I need time on my own to figure things out. Please, stop writing.

She finished typing and sent it. She wasn't going to agree to being treated like this.